 Mi'n gwybod, mi'n symone a rydw i'n mynd i ddim o'r stori sydd ymlaen i'n teimlo i fynd i'ch gynhyrch gyda'i sydd yn yr unrhyw ymddiad. A byddai, mae stori eu bod yn ymddir yma ar y gynhyrch ar y gyd-2018. I had just came out of an unpleasant dating experience with a guy, he was very manipulative, he blew hot and cold with me and I later discovered he was engaged to be married, so that's when I ended the situation there. From that experience I decided, I vowed that I was going to be single forever, I didn't want any love interest with men or I didn't want a relationship or I didn't want to date again. But I've always wanted to become a mother so I looked into sperm donation and I came across this website and it was for people who were interested in looking for sperm or egg donors, surrogates, anything to do with fertility really. So, basically it's a website where you create a profile that's similar to a dating format so I had to upload photos and some background information about myself and I got quite a lot of responses and one of them came from the narcissist, his name was James and he approached me first saying, volunteering to be a sperm donor, not just to be a sperm donor but also to co-parents who was one of the few who said he wants to co-parent and play an active part in the child's life and also he seemed ideal because he was quite local, well he lived in the neighbouring county to me and we were around the same age group, he had already fathered a child, that's not through sperm donation but from a previous relationship so that gave me reassurance that we can father children and he was a homeowner, had a study job and he seems very keen to talk to me and he left his phone number and said reach out to him so I text him with the contact details he gave me and I said thanks for reaching out and maybe we could have a chat he instantly phoned back after I left that message, he seemed very friendly, very full on as well and was very keen to meet and we eventually ended up meeting I think probably a week later at my local pub and that's when the love bombing started, it was as soon as he saw me it was just constant compliments his body language was full on, he was putting his arms around me, he was giving me this weird flirtatious stare and I think the whole pub could see it because everyone kept looking at us and the chemistry was very full on and I felt overwhelmed, I'm not someone I shy away from attention and he just put me on this pedal stall and he wanted to know so much information about me and looking back I just completely dismissed or didn't notice all these red flags and then he admitted to me this is a last resort, I didn't really want to do this I'd rather, I'd definitely want to have a child or another child because he has one already but I'd like to do this as a couple and I said to him I've had, I've just not that long ago came out of a disastrous relationship situation and I'm not interested in dating or relationships, I just want to pursue my desire to become a mum and he kept trying to persuade me otherwise and I thought to myself well maybe I should try the conventional way just because I had one previous bad experience does it mean that this could be how it's supposed to be so I thought okay I'll give it a try and I was under the impression he still wants to help me have a baby but we'll do it as a couple and I thought maybe the baby this way wouldn't have any awkward questions for me like where's my dad and how comes I haven't got a dad and he's just seemed really nice, too good to be true to be honest but after two weeks, within two weeks the love bombing continued he was saying how he was in love with me, he wanted us to get married and we're going to have babies and we're going to move in together and talk about the areas, what areas were good for us to live in and he was doing all these plans with me and looking back at it now I realised it was future faking and we decided to obviously naturally try for a baby because we were supposed to be this couple but I noticed that when we were in the bedroom he would pull away and I kept asking why is he doing that and he kept saying it's too soon, next month we'll try next month and that next month would never come and so I decided to sit him down and say look I think it's best to go back to our initial plan where you help me have a baby and maybe whilst I'm pregnant or after I've had the baby if things are still great between us let's develop a relationship I'm just scared that we're going to be in this relationship, not try for a baby and whatever reason things don't work out and I'm back to square one and I said this is really important to me, I never had any intention of being in a relationship with you or anyone, I just wanted to have a baby and I'm just scared that things might change between us and I'm back to square one, at least if I have a baby and maybe later we develop a relationship if our relationship was to break down obviously that would be unfortunate odd still would have become a mum and I believe that's when the devaluing stage started he was just saying no it will happen just not yet, just give me another month and as I said this next month came and it was the same situation and I just said I don't want to waste any time, I can't predict the future I don't know if we're going to last as a couple, I'm over 13 now so I was 33 at the time almost 34 and whilst I was still fertile enough I just wanted to have a baby and the devaluing stage started and the love bombing obviously came to an end he wouldn't message me constantly like he always did, didn't phone me constantly as much as he did before, if I messaged him he wouldn't reply back until a few days later if I rang him he wouldn't answer the phone or he wouldn't return my calls and I'd hear from him days later and we were still seeing each other so I came round to his house one evening and literally in front of me he's there on match.com talking to other women and I'm there and I confront him about it and he had the audacity to deny the whole thing and I'm sorry I just changed rooms and the camera ran out of time but as I was saying he just denied being on the dating site and there was just a few more days of him just blowing hot and cold and I decided to just confront him I rang him again as usual I didn't get, he didn't return my call he didn't accept the call so I left the voice message just saying I've had enough and I don't think we should bother anymore and I was trying to call his bluff, I was hoping he would want to mend things and just reassure me but I never heard back from him and I think that was the discard stage I believe I just got stonewalled, he gave me the silent treatment and I realised that actually I wanted to work things out with him so I tried to call him and see if we could sort things out but again he was just ghosting me so after a couple of weeks I got the hints I was heartbroken but I decided to move on and I was in search of another person who could help me another sperm donor and I came across a really nice reliable person he didn't take advantage of me and on the first attempts I felt pregnant and I made the silly mistake of messaging James to tell him the news and I think that was when the Hoover attempt started he rang me straight away kept saying I moved on too soon he still had feelings for me and just he wanted to meet up so I then blocked his number and I realised I made a mistake getting back into contact with him he would ring multiple times on no caller ID because I blocked his number then when I wouldn't pick up he would leave messages on Facebook it got to the point where I had to call the police because of the harassment and even then he would still message me from a different number and say I was crazy, I was unhinged, I was unstable I'm not sure how he came to that conclusion and it got to the point where I started questioning am I the narcissist have I done something to make him treat me the way he treated me so after that I just changed my number and so far up into this day I've enjoyed my new baby who is four weeks this week I've taken this time to heal and unfortunately it took me to get the police involved block his number and change my number just to get him out of my life so I'm completely no contact with him now and I'm just taking the time to heal never say never but I have no intention to pursue any relationships but if I do in the future I'm aware of the red flags and I never want to go through that experience again and I'm able to differentiate between a healthy and unhealthy relationship I don't dislike James, I just pity him he's always going to be stuck in a rut he can't self-evaluate he can't look from within to find his own happiness he can't live without narcissistic supply he can't be a whole person and he will just keep going round and round repeating the same cycle but that's not my problem so my success story is that I've been able to get out of that toxic environment and I'm just enjoying my new baby and I'll be teaching him how to engage in healthy relationships and I just want to end the video on the note that I appreciate all you've done for the Mark's surviving community I'm a dedicated subscriber to your YouTube channel and I am definitely going to get in contact with you for more coaching sessions I've had one review regarding the story briefly so I'd like to do one where I'm able to go back in time from where I believe it all started stemming from my childhood I do believe I have a narcissistic mother and I'd like to get into details about that and I think that's prepared me or groomed me to attract narcissistic men as I've been growing up and entered adulthood and I just want to understand that more so I'll be in touch with coaching sessions about that but in the meantime I'm currently healing and just enjoying the new chapter in my life and I want to thank you for all your support and help helping a wider community worldwide everything you mentioned in your videos I've experienced that and I 100% can relate and yes a big thank you and I will continue to be one of your biggest fans and supporters and just keep doing what you're doing and spreading that awareness and fortunately narcissism is on the rise now I think due to social media and yes I just want to say a big massive thank you I'm happy for you to share this on the YouTube platform I'm hoping others can relate to my story I know my story is unique but I'm hoping that some people can relate to the behavioural patterns and yes thank you again for helping me share my story and yes I'll be in contact soon and thank you again for listening to my story bye for now