 We're so happy to welcome you all in person and online for those of you who are joining us on the live stream today. First and foremost, I'd like to thank the MCC East Bay for hosting our event today and our panel of distinguished speakers who have graciously given their time to share their knowledge and insights with our community. It's so wonderful to have the opportunity to meet you all in person. Some of you I don't recognize, of course, because you have masks on. But it's nonetheless wonderful to feel your energy and to be with you in the same room. And we're really also happy to have the opportunity to continue to benefit sisters who aren't in our community or who are not able also to join us in person. Alhamdulillah, one of the blessings of the pandemic has been our ability to reach more women. And so we've been able to live stream Dr. Rania's classes Friday nights and reach sisters all over the world. Alhamdulillah. And when we considered and as we consider bringing them back to in person, one of our main concerns is that we don't lose those who we who we've gained through this pandemic. So Alhamdulillah for in person and Alhamdulillah for live stream and Alhamdulillah. So at this time, I want to invite our dear sister, Stada Maria Amir to open our program with on recitation. I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the accursed. In the name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful. And we are inspired by the earth. And if I fear him, I will meet him in the night. I will be saved. The Lord of Moses nursed him. But when you fear for him, put him then into the river and do not fear or grieve. We will certainly return him to you and make him one of the messengers. And it so happened that Pharaoh's people picked him up only to become their enemy and source of grief. Surely Pharaoh, Haman and their soldiers were sinful. Pharaoh's wife said to him, this baby is a source of joy for me and you. Do not kill him. Perhaps he may be useful to us or we may adopt him as a son. They were unaware of what was to come. And the heart of Moses, his mother, ached so much that she almost gave away his identity. Had we not reassured her heart in order for her to have faith in God's promise. And she said to his sister, keep track of him. So she watched him from a distance while they were unaware. And we caused him to refuse all wet nurses at first. So his sister suggested, shall I direct you to a family who will bring him up for you and take good care of him? This is how we returned him to his mother, so that her heart would be at ease and not grieve and that she would know that Allah's promise is always true. The most people do not know. At this time, I'm going to introduce a dear friend of mine. And I'm going to keep saying that I think today they're all dear friends of mine. Alhamdulillah. I'm blessed to be in the company and do as a wonderful panel of speakers today. Alhamdulillah. So a status I'm a jetty. She's the co-founder of Mental Health for Muslims, a site dedicated to providing mental health related content tailored for the Muslim community. She has served the American Muslim community for over 20 years as a spiritual advisor, mental health advocate, writer, editor, mediator, interfaith organizer and public speaker, covering a variety of topics, including women's issues, marriage, family, youth, teen issues, education, self-development, interfaith, bridge building, spirituality. She currently offers monthly self-development spiritual wellness classes here at the MCC East Bay. And she offers regular educational workshops for students and teachers at the local Islamic schools. She also offers periodic talks through California and nationally for the Muslim community at large on a variety of topics in her spare time. I don't know how, masha'Allah. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, writing, blogging via social media, doing arts and crafts, visiting gourmet coffee shops and exploring the countless beautiful beaches and state parks throughout California. Where she lives with her husband and two sons, we welcome the status I'm a jetty. Alhamdulillah. Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim. Alhamdulillah wa-salaatu wa-salaam. Wa-ala Ashraf al-Anbiya wa-al-Mursaleen. Sayyidina wa-mawlana wa-habibna Muhammad. Salallahu alaihi wa-salaam wa-alaihi wa-sahbi wa-salaam. Tassleeman katira. As-salamu alaikum wa-rahmatullahi wa-barakatu. I am very sorry for this technical delay, but insha'Allah we will not delay any further. I want to thank the Rahmah Foundation, the Jannah Institute and all of the organizers behind the scenes, everyone who made this event possible. And all of you, of course, for being here. I am so excited to see this many people, masha'Allah. It's been a long time, but alhamdulillah. Thank you for coming out. I know some of you have driven from really far to be here, and we're just so honored. And we've been really anticipating this day. So insha'Allah, with that said, I invite you to join me on this discussion on one of the four, of course, perfect women, but also just an extraordinary saintly woman that I think all of us, once we know more about her story, insha'Allah, can really relate to. Sometimes when we read stories of people in the past, it just seems so far, you know, the distance between us and them and our experiences, that it's hard to feel that they're relatable. But masha'Allah, as the beautiful verses that our beloved usta that recited, and we didn't plan, we didn't coordinate it, but she recited the very verses that I really wanted you to know of and hear about our beloved sister, mother, perfect woman asya here. She recited those verses, masha'Allah, but let's go ahead and learn more about her and why she is who she is. The faithful, forbearing, and fearless, bismillah. So again, again, as the verses that were recited, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, when he introduces, you know, people to us in the Quran, in this momentous way, right, to say that he's given us certain examples, we really have to pay attention because there's something coming, basically, right? So when he says to us, he has given examples for the believers in Fira'an's wife. That's for all of us, but also for our male counterparts to learn from, to learn from her as an example for all of us, right? And of course, it's a much longer verse as was recited, but I wanted to point that out. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam also mentions, of course, as yes, specifically, so he, in addition to the other three perfect women, says her name, and this also should warrant for all of us to respond to, I wanna know more about her. If he mentioned her, of course, if Allah mentioned her, who is she? I want to know, right? So he says here, the best of women among the people of paradise, already given paradise, are Khadija bint Khuailed, Fatima bint Muhammad, Maryam bint Imran, and Asya bint Muzahim, the wife of Pharaoh. And that distinguishing mention here of who she is is also really important as we will now find out. So the reality is we don't have that much biographical information about her, but what we do know is still pretty impressive, subhanAllah, we know that she came from a very regal, royal, very prestigious, noble, wealthy family, so she came from wealth before she was Pharaoh's wife. And she was also known for her exceptional beauty, so she was known to be quite beautiful. And of course, this wasn't a ranged marriage, I mean, we're talking about people who were in the world of ancient politics, so this was not something that was a love marriage, certainly, it was an arranged marriage. She was also known, as just in general, of one of her beautiful defining qualities was her generosity, so very generous woman. And something that, again, many of us here maybe relate to, she experienced infertility. Let's just break it down in language that we understand. She was actually, she went through that, she was first of all married to someone who she didn't, Allah knows whether or not it was her choice, we don't know, but we know that it was an arranged marriage. So maybe there's people in this room, just this morning by Allah I got a message from someone in response to my recent stories on Instagram who she was just letting her heart, she found comfort in the post, but she shared with me that she was forced into a marriage and she is miserable. So there are women amongst us, maybe in our own family, in our own friends groups, that this is their experience, this was her experience, where she was married to clearly not a very good person. We know who Farah was, he was the worst of human beings. But then on top of that, on top of that, she had the second trial and tribulation of not having an escape, right? Because for many women, and again, those of us who work with women in our community, we know that when you're married to someone you're incompatible with or you don't click with, the silver lining or the consolation is that if you have children from that person, that you can focus your love and your heart and your intentions towards that child. And SubhanAllah, that's some, for many women, that's what helps them, it helps them to endure. So she didn't have that. She didn't even have children to help her to cope with her reality. And we have to think about the level of, the privacy, the small circle that is afforded to people who are of this stature. She's a queen. It's not like she has besties that she can go and hang out with. So she's a limited circle who knows if she was even closer, had her family accessible. She doesn't have a child. And she has to witness her husband who's a horrible, horrible tyrant, persecute, torture, do horrific, horrific crimes. And she doesn't have any means of escape. But SubhanAllah, what did she have? Of course she had her faith. And her faith was a very private matter. It was always very private for her. And so, and this is also just to mention here, there's great wisdom in why she wasn't given children because as our scholars pointed out, Allah SubhanAllah, I did not want to give Firaoun a child through this perfect woman. So it was really about her, SubhanAllah. Even though she suffered that, it was really, she was too good to have his children, SubhanAllah. More about her that we know. So one day, she is with her maid servants at the Nile River. And you just gotta put yourself at this scene. This is why I like visual sort of presentations. So I want you guys to read along. But I want you also to visualize. I want you to visualize you're in this predicament. You're just alone. You're probably very lonely, very isolated. But you have some moments of, maybe some relief, some escape. You're at the Nile. You're looking at this vastness. I've never been to the Nile. May Allah take us all there. If you've never been, if we've never been. But inshallah, she's in this amazing place with her servants. And then behold, she sees this crate box. It's described in different ways. With a baby floating. Again, just think it's like the one thing you've wanted perhaps your whole life or this thing that you pine for that Allah is now giving to you. And it's floating. So of course, she gets the baby out of the water with the help of her servants. And she wants this baby. She fell, the scholars again described it. She fell in love with this infant. She fell in love with. And that's just again, the natural disposition of women. We, Allah has created us with that. We have the womb, right? And this is why we are deeply connected with the attributes of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala ar-Rahman ar-Rahim because it's the same root word as rahm, the womb. Whether you have a child or not, right? Whether you are, whether you bear children or not, you are tied to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala in a way that many people are not. Half of, you know, the creation is not. So think about that deeply. But here she falls in love with this baby and she knows what she wants. She wants to keep this baby. This baby is hers. So she goes and she convinces Faraon to allow them to keep it. At that point, the history is also important to mention because Faraon, of course, he had visited a fortune teller who told him that someone from amongst his nation or in Egypt basically was going to overthrow him. So he enacted the most horrific policy of murdering all male baby boys, literally murdering them. Al-dabala, the descriptions are so hard to read because you're like, how are there people like this who could exist? He had, you know, what do they call them? Sorry, I'm losing my words. He had midwives that were appointed by him who would find out women who were pregnant and they had to birth them. And then he had his henchmen slay the boys right at the birth in front of the mother. This is how horrific of a monster he was. But he also didn't want to have, you know, he didn't want to not have a working class of men because the women couldn't do all of the slave labor. So he came up with this policy which was every other year, I'll slay the baby boys. And it just so happened that this baby was born in a year when this policy was enacted. So his mother actually, and the story really does, we do need to include her. She is incredibly, I mean, she's an incredible person and she's so important in this story because it is her faith and the fact that she, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, inspired her to maintain her pregnancy secretly, to birth her baby secretly. So again, there's another person involved here that we have to introduce to the story, her private midwife. This is why Sahbah matters, because when you go through a trial, you want to know that there's someone who can keep those secrets for you, who can be there for you when the whole world seems like they're against you. She had, Allah brought her an amazing soul who kept her secret when everybody else was ready to sell people, throw them under the bus, just to get into the king's court or just to ingratiate themselves to him. She kept her secret for nine months, 10 months. She birthed that baby with her, Allahu Akbar. And then as she's so terrified, imagine she's terrified to, because they would come in and look and inspect the homes. And she had to nurse this baby. So she was secretly nursing in there, some stories or explanations that say that she would go and hide the baby in a forest, put it in a box, tie a rope to it and keep it on the bank of the river because she lived by the bank. So this was her daily thing. I want you again for the mothers here to just imagine this is your reality with your infant, your newborn infant that you have to, you can't keep them on you, right? How many of us, I mean, I had separation anxiety for a few minutes. People wanted to take my baby from me for a few minutes. I was like, no, no, no, no, give it back, give it back. So just to imagine having to do this, but she had to do it. And Allah inspired in her to trust that he would reunite her. And the story is beautiful again as the verses of our dear Islah that she recited. Her daughter also is important. Subhanallah, her daughter, the mother of Musa's daughter. So this is Musa Ali's sister. She's also important because she's the one who was sent to follow the baby up this path, right? And we know the story, right? She's the one who convinced the court, you know, Asya's court to allow her mother to come and nurse the baby because they were testing all these women. Like they wanted a wet nurse. He needs to eat. But Allah prevented him from suckling from all of the women until his own mother came. Allahu Akbar. This is the promise of Allah. So all of these women are so important to note up. We can't just, you know, they're not just in the backdrop, like, you know, you have the starring role and then supporting people. No, no, no. These are all Allah's, you know, clearly showing us how each one of them is so essential to her story. So she finds this baby, she pleads and she, she's allowed to, she agrees to let her keep Musa. I mean, she doesn't know it's Musa, Ali said about that time. All right, that he's a prophet, but she keeps him, she loves him as if he's her own. She takes care of him. She, you know, he has access to everything. He lives a very good life, right? SubhanAllah. And so then what happens? So this is a really important part of the story. Now we're gonna segue a little bit because as he's growing up and, you know, he becomes the prophet and he starts to teach and he comes with his brother Haroon. Again, follow the story. He is now, I mean, this is his, you know, he's a prophet. He has to call people to Allah. People, you know, are hearing of his message and some people secretly believed, you know, those who, I mean, there were very few brave souls who would openly mention it, but there was a woman, another woman essential to the story who is known as the hairdresser or the beautician. Now she is the beautician from a previous marriage. So Farhan's daughter's beautician, right? So it's his daughter from a previous marriage, had this beautician and one day she was combing Farhan's daughter's hair and the comb fell to the ground and she had, you know, become accustomed to calling on the name of Allah. So, you know, sometimes it's reflexive, you know, just Bismillah, Alhamdulillah, we say these things. She said Bismillah. So his daughter now, we have to see the other side, right? So his daughter was, of course, suspicious of this. She inquires, do you mean my father? Because what would Farhan do? He claimed to be God. This is how he had the power that he had. He would force people to accept that he was all the blood, a God, or not a God, the God, Astaghfirullah. So she's just trying to push, you know, a little bit more to find out who she means and she asks her directly, do you mean my father? And then the hairdresser boldly says, no, my Lord and the Lord of your father are the same, Allah. So imagine the strength of this hairdresser. I mean, just think, you know, anybody, I mean, just think about the faith and the conviction and the courage it takes to the daughter of the most tyrannical human being on the planet that you're gonna tell her that I don't believe that your father is anything, you know, I believe in another God. So she was clearly someone. And so the daughter, his daughter infuriated, she goes and she tells her father that this is what this woman said. Now he's a monster, we have to just accept. He's a monster, he's not gonna accept this. This is a slight, it's an insult to him. He has to make an example out of her. So he basically threatens her and he orders, again his henchmen, to go and to fill a pit with boiling copper. Okay, so it's like a flame of copper. Just imagine the scene. And he threatens that he is going to not only torture her and kill her, but before that, just to add some more torture to it, he's going to torture or kill her children. And one by one, make her watch. And you have to see the story from all these sides. She just boldly confronted this tyrant and she's still, she has a stick on her, she's still standing straight. She's not bowing down. So she, all she says is one request. I can't, I just can't even fathom this type of courage. One request, just please collect my bones and my children's bones. It's all I want. Miraculously, he agreed to her one condition. So one by one, they were thrown in front of her. The last one was her nursing infant. So she actually had a nursing infant. And she, just imagine, she wavered for a moment. Like, I can't do this. You know, just that whisper, it's a whisper. This is an infant. And Subhanallah, right? There's four babies who spoke. He was one of them. He says to her, right? He says, mother, throw me and it's okay because the punishment of the next world is far worse than anything in this life. The baby spoke. Allah inspired this baby to give his mother the courage. And Subhanallah, both of them perished. Their bodies, their physical bodies. Of course, we know the reality. Now this story was, I mean, people watched it. This was, you know, something that they gathered to watch. And Asya, radiullah, and she also saw this. It deeply affected her. Really affected her to see this. I mean, it would affect anyone, anyone with decency and humanity. While others were jeering and applauding here, she was moved by the reality that she's done pretending. She's done masking her true beliefs. She realized up until that point that he, as his wife, what would he do to her? He raped women. He tortured children. He killed people without, with impunity, with no thought. What would he do to her? But in that moment, seeing the faith of this hairdresser and her children perish in front of her, she realized she's done. So she goes up to him and she says to him, right? Que fer tu beka, right? I do not believe in you, right? Walat ubali. And I don't care what you do to me. I don't believe in you anymore. You're nothing. I don't believe in you. And I don't care what you do to me. Mantu rabbi Musa wa rabbi Harun, rabbi al-Alamin. I believe in the Lord of Musa and the Lord of Harun, the Lord of all the worlds. So she, with so much bravery, faced him. She confronted him. And when she said this to him, right? What happened? Firaun, of course, he wasn't going to try to save her. There was no decency, no humanity in this man. So he basically needed to make another example of her. But this time it was gonna be much worse because this was personal, this was deep, right? This was a real affront to him. So he basically again told his henchmen to take her to the desert, right? Take her to the desert and do what? Strip her. It's a very horrific story in these details, but we need to understand why she is who she is. So we have to honor every detail of her story. She was starved. She was in the sun with this intense heat beating down on her naked body. Her arms and legs tied. And they were whipping her and torturing her. And then they would take breaks between, you know, they're tired of all that torture. So they need to take a break. And Allah out of his Rahmah sent the angels to cover her. So she would be covered in those breaks. And at a certain point, she called out to Allah, like, yalla, save me from Firaun. I want to be close to you. Show me my place in Jannah, right? Give me my place in Jannah. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala answered her. He answered her and he opened up the skies for her in the middle of this torturous, horrific experience. When she cries out to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, he opens the skies and she can see her place in Jannah and she starts out of sheer ecstasy and joy at the vision of what is to come. She is smiling because she knows that this is temporary. And he sees her, blind as ever, laughing. And he goes, look at her, she's crazy. And he feels even more, you know, emboldened to continue to torture her. And again, no humanity, this is a diabolical, not even a human monster, he orders his men, he's so sick of her in her celebration, he wants to pulverize her basically. So he orders that they throw a boulder onto her body as if what she has been through wasn't enough. He wants to end it and he doesn't want to give her the satisfaction anymore. So subhanahu wa ta'ala in her high of seeing her place in Jannah, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala took her soul. She was gone. The boulder came, didn't matter, she was gone. This is Asya, the mother of Musa, alaihi salam, one of the four perfect women, so many lessons that we can take from her story. Here's just a quote about her martyrdom that Abu Hurra reported, right? Again, describing what we just did, summarizing it, that he pinned her down and the angel shaded her and she made this da'a asking for her home and paradise. And the verse is from Surah Al-Tahrim, I believe chapter 66, verse 11. Now, the lessons, the story again, there's so many lessons, y'all, so many lessons. But first I wanted to focus on the examples of the women that I mentioned because we should know these women. Sometimes when we hear these stories, we only, again, focus on the main characters, but the women who are the supporting people who made these things happen are also very key, very key. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala placed them exactly where they were. So Prophet Musa alaihi salam's mother is essential to her story. His sister is essential to the story. The midwife who delivered him, right? The hairdresser herself, Asya, al-Dilahana, know all of them, see examples in all of them, take lessons from all of their strength. They all had iman that was not moved. It didn't waver. And they followed exactly the command, that the inspiration Allah gave them or the direct command, but they had a deep connection. They had a secret. They knew something. And the beauty of that is that we can all know that thing. We can all know that thing and I'll get to that in a moment, but know this about them. And then the examples of the weak and the cowardly women we should also think about, right? The daughter of Farahun. So when we're in positions of power, if we're not mindful of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala, we give, we take power from false gods, false anybody. There's a lot of characters who assume power and we don't take our power from Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala. We should take heed from that because you abuse power and that's exactly what she did. She could have kept the secret, but she didn't. She's a coward. The same with the other wives in the concubines of Farahun who stood and watched Asya being tortured. So they were watching. And we know this as women even today, how many of us have heard that sometimes women are our own worst enemies, right? It's like you don't get a lot of, I mean, it's the sense of loyalty that you would expect from your own. Sometimes you don't feel that. So just think about that. And she experienced that in the worst situation possible. And then also what we need to take from the story in general, right? To have firm faith. Look at what firm faith gives you. Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala granted, she is Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala, a perfect woman mentioned again directly by him, referenced in the Quran by our Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. Here we are in 2021 speaking about her. She is not an insignificant person just because she's not on some website or popular or famous or has followers. There's all these ideas of what we think are significant today. But those are all false. She is significant because Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala and his Prophet gave her significance. And because of her faith, the fact that she had that faith and she was able to stand up to him. So having firm faith regardless of what you're going through will never, and you will never suffer. You will never end up on the short side of anything if you have firm faith. You may go through difficulty but we're talking about true suffering which is in the next life, right? And listen to that inner voice, right? We all have the inner voice, all of us. We wouldn't be here if we didn't have the inner voice and we didn't respond to the inner voice. And that inner voice was know who you are, know what your purpose is, get your prayer straight, wear hijab, know that that inner voice isn't just from you. That inner voice was given to you to dial up and listen to before it's too late. Don't just ignore it, put the volume down on that and listen to all the nonsense outside of you, outside of us, listen to that inner voice because it could be the very inspiration that inspired her and all of the other women that we take our lessons from in this story and know that your strength and power is only with Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala. No one else, no other human being, not your father, not your mother, not your husband, not your children, not your teacher, nobody. Your power and strength is with Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala. He created you out of nothing. He gave you existence. He could have chosen not to give you existence. So know that and then what not to do, never doubt Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala. Never for a moment think that if you do something that you obey, that you follow Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala, that he will not fulfill your duas, that he will not answer your call. Never let that shakda, doubt that comes from Iblis, it's from him, enter your heart, have the highest opinion of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala. Some of us have more expectation and more confidence in human beings around us, it's tragic. If we have more confidence in our parents or our siblings or our spouses, our children, and then we doubt Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala, we need to rectify that within our hearts. Why? Human beings make mistakes, our Lord is perfect and he doesn't fail in his promises. So if you're gonna accept the promises of someone else and then you wonder, did Allah listen to my duas? Is he gonna answer me? That is shak from shaitan, reject that. Don't have doubt because as the Prophet said, right? La akhafua'ala ummati ila da'afu liyaqeen. I fear but one thing for my umma, weakness of certainty, so we have to strengthen our yaqeen with Allah and never be drawn or seduced by power, wealth, fear. This is a demonic message that is permeating all around our world that calls people to put, to draw, to be seduced by power in a worldly sense. So that's wealth, it's money, it's beauty. How many women are just caught up in this message of focusing so much on the external, they spend hours, thousands of dollars. I mean, I don't have all the statistics. You can read them, the beauty industry and how much millions of dollars are wasted on women thinking that that's power of their beauty, of their physical body is what they need to rely on to get ahead, to get up in the work position that they want, to get a husband and have a marriage. No, your power is with Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala. All of that's gonna go and it can be taken away from you like that. But if you have Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala, he will, what? The inshaqatum, the azidannakum. You show gratitude, I will increase you. He will give you more. But if you give it to other people or falsely attribute it to other things, you're losing constantly. And that's why we have a crisis of misery. Read, and I've referenced this paper again, read the paradox of declining female happiness. Read it right now, you can do a Google search. Read this paper. Yale just posted it on their website. Recently, I didn't see it on Yale before, but it is an incredible research paper. Shows over 40 years what is happening with the fact that women have all these opportunities now, we have so much that we can do, but the happiness reporting across every section is pivoting, I mean it's going down. It's a paradox. Researchers are puzzled, why? Because they were told a lie. You have money, you have marriage, you have children, you have education, you're gonna have it all. No, if you have all of that and you don't have Allah, you have nothing, you have nothing. That's the truth, that's the message that we believe. So don't be seduced by false gods and false claims of power and never trust yourself to yourself. Because the nefs is the greatest enemy of the human being. That's why we need sahba, that's why we need to turn to teachers and people who know, who are on the path ahead of us. Alhamdulillah for organizations like Rahmah Foundation, like Jannah Institute, like our amazing teachers, our amazing scholars who you will inshallah hear from. Alhamdulillah. And just briefly on this idea of power because it really affects me. I think you cannot have a conversation on womanhood without addressing this because it is always a subject of everything related to women. It's always about comes down to power. This is a quote, we should know this quotes from Lord Acton. Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Farahun is a perfect example and we're seeing how corrupt when people have too much power, what it does. We've seen it in politics, we see it in homes, there are big tyrants and little tyrants, we see it everywhere. Power without divine assistance without that connection to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is corruptive. This is a quote I read from a psychology, I think today article on women and why women are drawn to power. And I thought it was important to mention here because we need to address this within ourselves. If we owned our own power, we would no longer be attracted to powerful persons. We would know that they are just people, just like us who have the same complexes, psychospiritual issues and the same biological mental emotional needs as the rest of us. This is truth talk. So any of the younger sisters here, please, again, if you're getting that message from any member of society, any member of your family, any member of your friends group that tells you that you are basically until you become married, you really don't have anything to offer this world. This is a message so many of us got. Until you become a wife and a mother, you're irrelevant. That's when your life really starts. Reject that, right? Because those are beautiful aspects of life if Allah wills that for you. But that is not the purpose of our creation. We were not created just to be someone's wife and have children and have a home and shop all day. That's not the purpose of our creation or to go work even. So whatever calling you have, alhamdulillah, it's from Allah that He put that in you. But that is not the purpose of why you were created or why I was created. We were all created for one purpose and one purpose only which was to worship Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And that is essential. So all of this, you know, again, appeal to try to define yourself according to what you have, the titles you have, the wealth you have, the possessions you have is false, it's a lie. And that's why you need to know what power truly is and how do we own our power? You may ask, how do you do that? How do you get to that point? Barely among the best of faith is that you know Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is with you wherever you are. This is power. If you have constant awareness and vigilance that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is always with you, you are never alone. So when you walk out of this building, you go into your car, you wake up every movement that you have during the day. If you realize Allah is with me in this moment, He's closer to me than my jugular vein. He is always with me. He's never not with me. Then you don't give power to others. You don't lose that sight. You always have that presence of mind. And just to further this point, this is a beautiful story that was related to us from Ibn Abbas. And he was around 13 at the time. So again, imagine being a 13 year old and the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam tells you this message. He says, one day I was riding a horse right behind the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam when he said, young man, I will teach you some words. Be mindful of God and He will take care of you. If you think of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, He will think of you to be a thought in our creator's mind, right? Just to think of that idea that He's thinking of us. Of course He's always, He has full knowledge. So that's not the same thing. When we talk about this, right? Be mindful of God and He will take care of you. There is that law of reciprocity, right? Be mindful of Him and you shall find Him at your side. If you ask, ask of God, don't turn to just anyone. Always think my first protocol, the protocol I have when I have a need is to turn to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala because He's with me. He knows my plight. He knows my condition. He knows the solution. Why would I go to anyone else? So ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. If you need help, seek help from Him. Know that if the whole world were to gather together in order to help you, that they would not be able to help you except if God had written so. And if the whole world were to gather together in order to harm you, they would not harm you except if God had written so. The pens have been lifted and the pages are dry. This is how we define our power. Being mindful of our Lord. The strong believer is more beloved to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala than the weak believer. So we need to strengthen and fortify our faith. But there is goodness, alhamdulillah, in both of them. Be eager for what benefits you. What benefits you? Allah. Be kaffee. That's it. That's all you need. If you have Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, it's more than enough. Hasbun Allah wa ni'am al wakil. We don't need anyone outside of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Seek help from Allah and do not become frustrated. Don't become impatient, right? Because shaitan, this is how he destroys faith. This is how we weaken faith. As another hadith says, and I don't have it here, but the summary of it is that the believers, du'as are answered until they start to look at the time, basically, and say, you know, oh, it's been, I've been praying for this for a month, a week, a few days, a few hours. Then you call us. As soon as you start putting time constraints on Allah, you're presuming to know what's best for you. Where did reliance on Allah? Where did tawakal? Where did surrendering, submitting to Allah's will? Where did that go? So we don't appoint timeframes on Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. We submit, right? So we submit and don't become impatient, don't become frustrated, and if something befalls you, which it will, life is hard. Life is not meant to be easy, okay? Life is difficult, but that is the design of it. But with Allah, he can give you, as they say, the storm, the storm can be going. He'll help you to find the eye of the storm, that safe refuge so that even though the storm is going, you won't feel the effect of it, right? And don't ever let that word what if. This is also a huge part of what I see in the suffering of so many of our sisters, what if, right? Low minashaitan. This concept, if I could go back in time and rewrite things, things would be better. And I'll tell you briefly, as I close out, and I know I'm going a little over because of the delay, forgive me, I'll finish up in just a moment, just briefly, for those who don't know, some of you know me and you've heard me speak about my story, I've lived so many things that I see in Asya's story, but in particular, this idea of not having things go as planned, right? I got married very young, with the full intention of having children, I wanted many children. That was my plan for myself. Allah, of course, we plan and he plans and he's the best of planners. He willed it that I married someone who could not give me children. And it was the worst form of infertility where nothing, not even in vitro, could work. So there was no way that I was having children with that person. Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal. But I did not expect that, four years into the marriage and I'm thinking, okay, I think I'm ready for children, boom, nope, no children. Another four years in that marriage, I had to come to grips with this, that I planned something, it didn't go the way I planned, but Allah knows best for me. And alhamdulillah, when you have teachers who remind you of these things and you have sohbah that remind you of these things, you can endure. And alhamdulillah wa shukrillah, immediately after I left that marriage, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala opened up just like the skies. For Alasya, I could see hope again and everything changed for me. Within a year of that divorce, I had my child, within a year or a month or so. My first child. I was remarried, obviously. I forgot to mention that, but Allah knows best. And alhamdulillah, I can't even remember my previous life. I know I had one, but I really don't remember it. And I'm so grateful for that, because my life in so many ways, right, when we again look back in our trajectory, we can sometimes remember the painful moments, but that's one of the mercies of God is that he'll take those memories from you. So alhamdulillah, but with that said, the last and final message, I just wanna finish these slides because I put a lot of work into this. That's why I was like, I gotta get this up here. You decide your path. You decide your priorities. The power that you have is in your choices, all of us have choices to make in our decision. That's where it reflects our power. You decide the lens you choose to see this world, right? Your perspective, your worldview, your framing, that's your decision. You decide your choices, your words, your actions, behaviors, your attitudes, reactions we have to remember. We are moral agents. We are responsible for ourselves. You decide the narrative that you live according to. You wanna adopt the narrative that's going around in the world that just reduces women to nothing but physical beings that are there to please everyone else except for themselves. Okay, or you can choose what our faith teaches us, which is you have the highest aspirations to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. That's the narrative that we should all be living according to and you decide the value of your life. Your life means something. You are important. You are meant to be here. Every single one of you, Allah loves you. Allah loves you. Remember that. And then the final and last message here is another beautiful example. A believer is what? That of a fresh, tender plant. From whatever direction the wind comes, it bends. But then the wind, when the wind becomes quiet, it becomes straight again. This is how we are. Life is gonna hit you. It's gonna come at you this way and that way. You bend with it. You go with it. You don't resist the decree of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And then when all of it settles, you're firm. That's faith, insha'Allah. Jazakum Allahu khayr. Wa salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. Wa salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. Jazakum Allahu fayr. And it's so hard to be the moderator. I feel like I have the worst job. All those gems you're sharing with us, can you please stop in the interest of time? No, I need to just stop. I'm so sorry. So I just sat next to her. But ma'sha'Allah, we're so thankful and so blessed to have Astaghfirullah Hussai in our community. For those of you who are watching online, the blessing for you is that you can watch her online. Alhamdulillah. At this time, insha'Allah, it is my honor to welcome Mariam Amir, who started our program off with Quran recitation. Stada Mariam received her master's degree in education from UCLA. She holds a second bachelor's degree in Islamic studies through Allah Azhar University. Mariam has studied in Egypt, memorized the Quran, and has researched a variety of religious sciences, ranging from Qut'anik, Islamic exegesis Islamic jurisprudence, prophetic narrations, and commentary, women's rights within Islamic law, and more for the past 15 years. She's featured in a video series on faith produced by Goodcast.net called the Mariam Amir Show. She actively hosts women who have memorized Qut'an from around the world to share their journeys through the hashtag for mothers campaign. She's an instructor with Swiss and Hikmah Institutes and has served as a bonus lecturer with Al-Maghrib, Discover You and More. She has been interviewed for her work by major news outlets, including BBC, NPR, and CBS. Mariam's focus in the fields of spiritual connections, identity, actualization, social justice, and women's studies have humbled her. The opportunity to lecture throughout the United States and the world, including Jerusalem, Mecca, Medina, Stockholm, London, Toronto, and more. She holds a second degree back belt, so I won't be stopping her in Taekwondo and speaks multiple languages, masha'Allah. Our panelists are very, masha'Allah, accomplished. And I want, I take the time so that you know who sits before you, masha'Allah. And masha'Allah, when they speak to our foremothers, they are themselves, inspirations. So we welcome you, masha'Allah. We welcome you, masha'Allah. We welcome you, masha'Allah. We welcome you, masha'Allah. When the mother of Virgin Mary, may Allah be pleased with them both, found out that she was pregnant, we can only imagine how excited she was to share the news with her husband. Because the scholars of Quranic commentary mentioned that Mariam's mother had been sitting and looking at a little bird, and that bird was feeding her baby. And she made Dua'a to Allah to be blessed with a baby herself. She had been struggling with infertility. And so we can only imagine her joy when she tells her husband Nirmran that they're expecting their first child. And there's a very famous Dua'a that many of us know that Allah swt quotes the mother of Maryam when she says, She's making this Dua'a to Allah. I dedicate who is in my womb to you. So accept it from me. Indeed, you are the all hearing the all knowing. How many of you have heard this Dua'a before? A number of us have heard it in this beautiful way. But she made this Dua'a out of intense grief. She was making this Dua'a out of extreme pain because her husband Nirmran passed away. And now she went from the excitement and joy of her first child with her husband to being a widow and a single mother. And SubhanAllah, it's incredible to note that the Quran has so many women who are single mothers. She is making this Dua'a and she is saying that she dedicates this baby Muharrara. And Muharrara as Al-Razi, who is a Quranic commentator mentions. It means to be to muqtis. What we now know is Masjid al-Aqsa. But SubhanAllah, she made this Dua'a without placing a condition on the fact that it could be a boy or it could be a girl. She said she dedicates this baby. And then the Quran goes to her actually having the baby. So she has her baby, expecting it to be a boy because she's already dedicated this baby to Baitul Muqtis. And in Baitul Muqtis, only men served, only boys served. There had never been a woman who had served in Baitul Muqtis before. So when she has her baby, SubhanAllah, listen to this ayah. So when she has her baby, she says, She said, inni over and over and over. Inni, inni, inni, inni, why? Because as two of the Quranic commentators, Ibn Ashur and Al-Razi mentioned, she is shocked, she is flustered, and she disliked the fact that she suddenly had a girl. And it's not because she's not, of course, honored that she had a baby girl. It wasn't the issue of agenda. It was because she had, in fact, in one of the commentators, Tafsir mentioned, that she, before she was even pregnant, wanted a child so badly that she promised if she had a baby, she would give that baby to Baitul Muqtis. So now she doesn't know how she's going to fulfill her promise because she had promised this baby to Allah's servitude. And so she says, Why did she say the boy is not like the girl? Why did she say boy first? Because a boy was the one she was expecting. That's what she wanted. And Ibn Abbas actually has a different recitation for this part of the verse, the next part, that Allah knows better of what you birthed, of who you birthed. Why? Because the boy that you thought you wanted is not as good as the girl that Allah gifted you. You don't know the level of the gift of who Allah has given you. So now Maryam, it's a mother. She says, Why? She catches her emotions. She realizes her initial reaction. And so to show her contentment in Allah's decree, she names her baby Maryam, the servant of Allah. Maryam is a servant of Allah. And what else does she say? She makes dua for her. That she seeks Allah's protection from Satan for her baby and her progeny. Why is she making dua for this baby? Of course, out of the love she has for her baby as a mother. But also because she wants to show Allah SWT that despite the way that she initially felt, she's content with whatever Allah decrees. She trusts whatever Allah SWT has planned for her life. And so now we see that Maryam becomes the very first woman to enter Betul-Muqtis. She is raised and mentored in this space by her uncle, Zakaria, Prophet Zakaria, peace be upon them. So she is in this space, the very first woman to enter and Subhan Allah, that we can only imagine in that moment how hard it must have been for her mother to lose her husband, to already have promised the dedication of her baby. And yet how finite the life span of any of this is. But how infinite the impact of that sacrifice was. Because you and I can go into Masjid al-Aqsa today as woman. Why can we go in as woman? Because Maryam paved the way for us to enter that space by Allah SWT's will. So she is in this space being raised by this prophet and she is a da'a, she is a caller to God. And we see her powerful conviction in calling to Allah when Zakaria, peace be upon him, comes in and he notices that she has fruit out of season. And he asks her, where did you get this fruit? And she says, This is from Allah. And Allah SWT gives whoever he wants without measure. And Prophet Zakaria, peace be upon him, is an elderly man who has an elderly wife. They've been trying to have a baby for a very long time. This is a time in their life when they're not, they haven't had a baby in their older. It's not the time of having children. He sees the fruit and he thinks, if Allah SWT can gift fruit out of season, then perhaps when they are out of season, Allah can gift them. And that's why the very next verse, immediately he makes dua for Allah SWT to bless them with a baby. Because he's so worried about the da'a, what is going to happen to his people? If there isn't someone who's going to be a messenger to the people. And when Angel Jibril alayhi salam comes to give the glad tidings of his son, this isn't the only reason why Angel Jibril alayhi salam is there. So Mirya alayhi salam gives da'a to Zakaria alayhi salam by reminding him of Allah SWT's power. And now she enters her mehrab, different scholars of tips you to mention that she had gone away from her mehrab. She goes into her prayer space, this very respected important space for her. She is the only woman who lives here. There are no other men. And in her private area, there is a man, a very beautiful man. Why would a man be in her private prayer area? Look at her reflexive action. It's not to scream. It's not to run to her uncle and ask her uncle to come and see what's going on. It's her immediate reaction. What is it? All of the worship that she has been doing, the praying, the fasting, the making the da'a, translates into action. What is that action? To call everyone who she had an impact on back to Allah. So what is her immediate response when she sees this very beautiful man in her chambers? She says to him, She reminds him of al-Rahman. She seeks refuge with al-Rahman if he is one of the people who is God conscious. Why would she say this? Why didn't she say, Are you here or stop or I'm going to get someone? Why does she use al-Rahman? Because al-Rahman is the most compassionate. He is the most merciful. He is the one who will accept the repentance of anyone who turns to him. She is reminding him that if he goes back to Allah, no matter what his intention was for being in a very private room with her, that Allah will accept his repentance. Don't do whatever you're thinking. Allah is the most merciful. Go back to him before you do it. Ibn Qithiro mentions that he, Jibril A.S. was so impacted by the power of her words that he immediately just flipped into the form of an angel. And then he says to her, I'm just a messenger. I am here to give you the glad tidings of a son, a pure son. I want you to focus on her reaction after this because Allah SWT said, Ahabah. Jibril A.S. used the word Ahabah. This is what Allah SWT has recorded. Ahabah Laki. Hiba. Gifting you. Gifting you. If any one of us met Angel Jibril A.S. saying there's a gift from Allah, perhaps our reaction might be like Allah has chosen me. Or maybe something like Allah knows who I am. Or Subhan Allah, I am the one making it about me. I am certainly way male. Allah, protect me from myself. But listen to what Maryam A.S.'s response is because she is so invested in Dawah that she is terrified of how people are going to react to the fact that she is pregnant. No man has touched me. How is she gonna have a baby when no man has touched her? Jibril A.S. comforts and reminds her of this ability of Allah SWT. He says be and it is. What is the very next verse? Allah doesn't tell us about the nine months of her pregnancy. After she is given the glad tidings of a pregnancy, of this gift, after she has had time to emotionally process it on her own, after she's had day after day of being pregnant and preparing for the fact that she's going to be a mother. Is she giving birth in the desert on her own as a young woman thinking Subhan Allah the moment has come? Or now my people will see that I am truly a righteous person. She is so worried. And I really want us to recognize that in her story, we see the humanity of what it means to be someone close to Allah but not know how to process Allah's plan emotionally. Because when we look at the mother of Moses, that was set up as high so beautifully and powerfully discussed, parakalofiha, what we see is that she could have been given a girl and then she wouldn't have had any of these issues. The mother of Meriam could have had a boy and then she wouldn't have had any problems with regards to this concern she had. Allah chose who is going to be given to whom out of his wisdom, if the mother of Moses didn't have Mousa, we wouldn't have had the Banu Israel freed and until today history wouldn't have been impacted the way it was impacted. And the same thing with the mother of Meriam and the same thing with Meriam, despite the fact that they were gifts from Allah, they struggled. As we saw with the mother of Mousa, her heart was very low. It just became completely empty and if it wasn't for Allah giving strength to her heart, she would have lost it. So when you as a believer are struggling with something you're going through emotionally, whatever it is, whatever you're going through, every one of us has our own tests and trials. Remember, it's not because you're not reading enough Qur'an. It's not because you're not praying hard enough. It's not because you're not making du'a with enough sincerity. Of course we need to pray harder. Of course we need to read Qur'an more. Of course we need to make du'a with more sincerity. We only increase in these actions when we're going through a trial and especially when we're not. But the point is even if you're still sad and it's been five years since you've lost your loved one, it doesn't mean that you don't believe in Allah's plan. You continue to worship Him while recognizing that He has a plan. Subhanahu wa ta'ala. And that this life is short and that the hereafter with Him is the ultimate place. So when she's having this baby, she is calling out and only Allah knows everything that she said as she's giving birth. Maybe she said lots of things. But what he chose to record for all of us to know until the end of time was she said If only I had died before this and was something that had never been mentioned and unknown. She wished she had never been known. She wished she could have died and again this is a very real human emotion. Did Allah's next statement say Astaghfirullah? Of course we shouldn't make these statements. But when we are in the midst of something very difficult and we feel that way even the most righteous had human emotion and that connects us to them and that allows us to take them as our example. So what does Allah's plan order her to do to shake the date palm tree? Now many of us have heard that the reason Allah swt has ordered her to shake the date palm tree was because even when you make dua you need to take action, right? Even when we make dua we need to take action, do our part. This is 100% true but she's literally giving birth so she's already taking a huge action. So yes, definitely doing our part is part of it. But also why? Modern day researchers talk about those who are going through suicidal thoughts or depressive thoughts in a cycle who have extreme anxiety who are just going through them in a cycle that the way you as a listener can help them break the cycle and focus on something else so that it is not so intense for them. So they can recalibrate and think about life in a slightly different way is by quite literally changing their perspective of thoughts and being able to help them focus on a quick action to do. Do you want to think of your water bottle? Where did you get that from? It seems completely out of the blue but it's very intentional so that you can help support them through their process. So Allah swt orders her to shake the date palm tree. So she's shaking the date palm tree and the thoughts are no longer mentioned in the Qur'an. What does Allah swt then go to? Take some time to rest. Eat, drink and take some time to rest because once she's in a space of resting once she comes back and she feels that she has gathered herself she's had a moment to come to this grounding with Allah swt What? She is then tasked as her role as a caller to God to take that baby to her people Allah swt could have had an angel Gabriel Angel Gabriel take baby Isa baby Jesus to the people Allah swt could have asked Zakaria alaihi salam to take the baby to the people This young woman just gave birth We know what people are going to say about her She knows what people are going to say about her She is so worried about the image of piety She is literally She is literally the symbol for piety How are people going to think about worship, about God, about religion if someone of her status came with a baby She's worried about how people are going to react not only because of her reputation as an individual but because of all she represents And yet Allah swt had her go out And this is such an important message for every single one of us We all have a role to play in da'wah That role could be within our families It could be within our relatives It could be within our neighbors It could be our message in our society But no matter what you are going through in your life Look at the example Allah gave for every single woman and man until the end of time She just gave birth Take a moment to be prepared Go out and call the people to Allah You have a role to do this It is your space to go out You are important for this role So she goes out to her people And as she goes out to her people And they see her with a baby What is their reaction? SubhanAllah shock You? The fact that she comes from a righteous family The fact that she has been raised in this space of righteousness with a baby And this is when Allah swt has her baby speak Affirming that he is a messenger of Allah We know from her story That she did not just leave her worship To her worship As in ritual acts of worship Her worship was in her action as well And this is so important Because the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam tells us Your deeds are by your intention And Allah swt tells us That my Salat My sacrifice My life, my death Is all for Allah swt So whether that means taking care of my children Or whether that means taking care of myself Anything I do can be worship with the intention And her life embodies that In the Quran Allah swt says That he has raised her above SubhanAllah Above all women And the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam tells us In a hadith that many men have reached perfection But amongst the women Those who have reached perfection he's talking about Are Athea and Maryam And Ibn Hazam Who is with the Lahiri Like the Lahiri founder, I know many who are not familiar With all the different scholars names I totally understand It was a long process for me to learn them And I certainly don't know all of them But we are very familiar with the Malikis The Hanbalis, the Shafi'is The Hanafis, he's from the Lahiri method So Ibn Hazam He uses this hadith as proof For his position on why There were women who were prophets Ibn Hajar explains That this hadith That there were many men who reached Completeness in religion But only a few women What does that mean? Ibn Hajar explains that There were many women who were martyred There were many women who were truthful There were many women who dedicated their lives in worship So it's not possible that the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam Is negating the fact that all of these women existed So what the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam Is actually saying here Is that there were many men who were prophets And from the women who were prophets These two women were the most elevated of them Because even in prophethood Many men There were many men But some of them were in a higher status than other men And so the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam Is making this distinction Imam al-Qurtabi also believes that Maryam alaihi salam holds the opinion That she's a prophetess This is a minority opinion By a minority of scholars Who are quite literally a handful Of the majority The majority opinion which is summarized beautifully By Imam al-Nawawi Mentioned that these were righteous women These were pious women They were examples for all of us But they were not prophets This is a very long discussion And I would love to share more with you The point is that The prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam Shared with us Just being so high As an example for all of us So even if we don't Consider her to be a prophet She is an example For all of humankind Subhanallah When we look at The discussion On our roles As women We can take the example of Maryam alaihi salam Who anytime we see an image Of her She always has her hair covered And we know that that's not her actual picture We know that's not what she actually looks like But whenever someone asks me why I wear hijab Especially because I'm named after her Thank you so much, mommy I love you It's very easy for me To respond with I'm named after Virgin Mary And anytime you see a picture of Virgin Mary Even if I don't believe that that's her actual picture She has her hair covered She's dressed modestly And she's mentioned in the Quran As the Highest status woman in the world Who's ever been created And she is mentioned in her dynamism And her Power and submission to God's will And In wearing hijab I'm fulfilling The Quranic guidance To worship my Lord In this way To follow the footsteps of my For mother Virgin Mary That she gives us the example of what it looks like To claim modesty and claim my identity In my relationship with God But to use that space To call myself and others back to him And anytime you doubt What your role is In this space Remember What Allah SWT told us He says He has chosen you That he has chosen you And Imam Imam At-Tabri mentions That he has chosen you Every single one of you Who is part of this ummah For a quality That he sees inside of you Even when you don't see that quality Inside of yourself If you're a part of this ummah In the same ummah Of Maryam As a woman Who Allah created As a woman To honor you It's because he has a plan For your life The question is Are we going to use The gifts that he's given us Even when they look like tests To go back to him And to be a means of calling others To him So that our destination lies With him Dr. Alanya Awad Is a clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry At the Stanford University School of Medicine Where she is the director of the Muslim Mental Health Lab And wellness program and director of the Diversity Clinic She pursued her psychiatric residency Training at Stanford Where she also completed a post-doctoral Clinical research fellowship with the National Institute of Mental Health She's telling me stop, I'm saying no And I do this so that you guys Know, oh this is the old one I'm sorry, she's more accomplished Than this I think she You know, it's interesting About, I was telling them earlier The reason why I like to Introduce The speakers is because they worked really hard And we understand How difficult it is to do Things when you're doing other things as well And here I found it Dr. Alanya Awad is a clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry At the Stanford University School of Medicine Where she is director of the Stanford Muslim Mental Health Lab And Islamic Psychology Lab Associate Chief of the Division of Public Mental Health and Population Sciences And Co-Chief of the Diversity and Cultural She is the Executive Director of the Holistic Mental Health NonprofitMeterStand.org M-A-R-I-S-T-A-N .org In addition, she serves as the director of The Rahma Foundation Which is a non-profit organization Dedicated to educating Muslim women and girls We co-sponsored the event today If you're unaware M-T-C co-sponsoring with The Rahma Foundation And the Jena Institute She also serves as a senior fellow At the Yaqeen Institute in ISPU She has previously served as the founding Clinical Director of the Khalil Center San Francisco as well as Professor of Islamic Law at Zaitouna College Prior to studying medicine, she pursued Classical Islamic Studies in Damascus, Syria And holds certifications Ijazah on Islamic law and the other Branches of the Islamic Sciences Follow her at Dr. Alanya Awad And it's a pleasure to Be her friend, be her sister Salam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu It's so wonderful to be here With all of you, Subhanallah It's really, really excellent I can't, I just, Subhanallah, it's been Too long, not being able to look out And see all of our dear sisters And this number of women that are here today And of course the many who are online as well We see you virtually, Masha'Allah There's about, of over 200 I think of them online as well Allahu Akbar I'm really excited This has been a wonderful day And it's going to continue to get Even more and more and more wonderful Subhanallah, I'm excited for you Because of all of the women scholars And teachers who you're going to be hearing from And have already been hearing from And how Subhanallah as we said at the very beginning They're all so different Just like the mothers of our believers And just like the women of the Hadith that are guaranteed Paradise, they're all very different too There are strings of themes That are actually tied Between all of them that we're going to mention today But Subhanallah, what is Absolutely clear to all of us Is that when you see yourself In one or more Of these amazing archetypes Both historically or modern It inspires you To be able to reach higher Do more, dig your Deeper, get your roots Firmer in Islam, insha'Allah That's our goal Subhanallah, give us all the ability Insha'Allah to really benefit From what's here today And I hope insha'Allah that you'll continue to Follow along with the Rahmah Foundation And the Jinn Institute because Subhanallah And there's weekly halakas that both offer And it's really important That you're rooted to something So if you've been feeling unrooted for some time Please re-root yourself Since halakas, ours aren't Friday nights They're typically here It's possible that by January We might actually be back in person But we'll continue the hybrid model Where you're able to join online as well Because I know some of you are very far away And some of our online folks, Subhanallah Are international All of our sisters from across the world To join in Today insha'Allah I'm going to be covering Khadija And Prophet Muhammad And in her story Which many of you know Everything I'm going to say here Is probably review By and large But the reason we review Is because Subhanallah Every time we uncover something beautiful A gem that we haven't really thought of before Or maybe we haven't paid attention to In some long period of time And then you draw connections to your own life Or the life of other sisters around you Subhanallah Khadija, radiallahu anha Her name literally means The one who was born early She was born premature She was born earlier than Her parents expected her to be And hence her name But at the very end of our talk We're going to sum it up by saying She wasn't just born into this dunya early She was also early Ahead of her time And ahead of her generation Most women of society including today Right And her beliefs and what she accomplished Was well ahead of many Subhanallah And so as we look at Khadija radiallahu anha We have to start actually with her parents This is a theme today Every single one of the stories we've said so far We started with the generation before them Because you don't just sort of come into the world You come into a family that's already in existence Subhanallah Well her parents mashallah were noble people Of Quraish And her father had a dream While His wife, Khadija's mother was pregnant And he woke up very excited Because he saw in this dream That he was gathering, that he was a young boy And he had his, you know how you kind of Take your shirt to gather fruit You know in it, and there were dates Really ripe dates And they were being put into his shirt And as much as they were putting these dates And then he was able to taste This date, you know, and then suddenly He woke up, realizing it's a dream So he got very excited and he went to his wife And he said, I think we're going to have a boy Another theme Today Right, and she, his wife kind of Just, you know, isn't as excited as he is And he asks her why, why are you not You know, so excited And she says because in the dream Her interpretation and what she had learned That dates mean Girls And this would be their first born And in Quraish, in that society This is pre-Islamic, right In that tribal pre-Islamic society Having your first born be a girl Meant, possibly That it would have That they would be buried alive Female infanticide Because it was shameful The first had to be a boy And he comes from a very honorable family With expectations This is Khueled, his father is Assad And there's expectations That the first born of the great Noble man, Assad, his father, would be a boy A grandson And so, as you can imagine Now comes the birth, and he Is Sudana Khadija as we now know, right Is of course a girl, and born early And her father Khueled is very worried Because he's worried that as soon as they see That it's a girl, they're going to advise Him to bury her alive So this sister is at this point This is what I want you to do. Those of you who are taking notes I want you to make a table Put three columns Three categories, okay We're going to try to fill this out together Put a column, inshallah, the first one And call it things that are unique About Sudana Khadija Unique in her time, but honestly Even unique in our times The second column Please put Things that don't seem as they really are Things in the story that you pick up As we're talking, that don't seem exactly As they actually are And the third column Is every time you mention something And there's a characteristic, a character trait Because you want to come out from this lecture With something inshallah that's very tangible For you to take, right? So things that are First column, things that are unique about her Second column, things that are not quite What they seem, and the third column Any characteristics That you hear, start making this long Probably it's going to be a very long list Of characteristics of Sudana Khadija And so Here comes the birth of Still Khadija And her father is trembling, kind of really worried His father, as it has come And all the rest of his, you know, tribe Has come, and they're waiting to see And the news comes out that this Is a girl, and he's Worried, but then He sees that His father, right Khadija's grandfather is looking at her Almost like with a change of heart She seems something very special Like, they talk about how like She's very light, as in Noor, like light emanating From her. They see kind Of a light, a Noor And at that point in time The head of the tribe is none other Than I wonder who can tell me Do you guys know who would be the head of Quraish At this period of time? Abd al-Muttalib, who is whom? The grandfather of The Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Right, so like distant distant There is a connection between them But it's not like direct, right But he's the head of the tribe So he comes too, and so here is Her grandfather, as I said And here is the head of Quraish Abd al-Muttalib, and they're standing there And they're kind of wondering about this girl Who is a girl, not a boy, but is very Like, has all this Noor, light, kind of emanating From her. And at that Period in time, it's like Allah put something In their heart to change it And at that point Abd al-Muttalib, who would have given Kind of a small gift if it was a girl This is all jahili, like pre-Islamic You know, in time of ignorance, right A small gift if it was a girl, and a large gift If it was a boy, and suddenly not only Did he give the gift that he was coming to give But he emptied out all of his pockets And everything he had, he just felt In his heart, this is going to be a special person So in your column of things Not quite what they seem, right And things, right, in this case Also things that are unique to her Right, she would Have died But Allah has saved her For something very, very important And special that's to come, insha'Allah And so we continue on And something very unique about her, of course Is this born kind of with this light Now, her father and her mother Decide That also very unique in her Time is to educate her Her cousin, who is much, much older Several decades older Maybe about 50 or so years older than her Is her cousin, Waraqa You know this name Waraqa ibn Naufal And so they take her as a little girl To Waraqa, to be taught By him, he's a learned man He's studied the gospel, he's studied the Torah He's studied so many different things And he becomes her personal teacher And so she studies With him for years Right, and she becomes She's able to read, she's able to write And she's very bright And the news gets out about her that this Not only is she very beautiful But she's also very intelligent And so she's got marriage proposals coming in Left and right And her and her family reject them, reject them, reject them Until she reaches 15 years At that point her family says She's got to get married And let me just pause here for a moment Ages, don't think about yourself In 2021 in this era trying to understand Young, aged marriage You have to put yourself back In that society back in that time Where if your life expectancy is about 30 Then 15 is half your life It makes sense to get married then In fact many of the girls of her era Would have already been married Do you see what I'm saying So before people start making a fuss Think about that, you know this Because how old were the Prophet's parents Both, both, when they passed away The Prophet Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam's parents They married young His father Didn't even see the Prophet Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam So what does that put him, age wise He hadn't reached 20 Sit in the Amina His mother Had also passed away Just years into the Prophet's Toddler hood People died young in that age Do you see what I'm saying So here she is at the age of 15 Back to Sadaqadija So it's time for her to get married And she doesn't necessarily Want to, but she knows that this is something That her society and her parents want of her And when the proposal comes Right, and this is now His name is Abu Hala Who comes To propose, they can't really say no He's honest, he's hard working He's honorable, he has Honorable lineage, and he's also He's also wealthy, which becomes An important point that we'll talk about in a moment He has everything in a Meccan society That would be important for someone Of her nobility and stature So she asks her parents, they say This is a good fit, she asks her uncle And teacher, her cousin rather, and teacher He says this is a good fit, and so She agrees, she gets married at the Age of 15 And here we start to see some Really important things start to happen You talk about difficulties and trials We heard about Sitana Mariam We heard about Sitana Asya Both of which had very difficult trials So what is it about Sitana Khadija? Well here starts the story of many things To come She's widowed Only two years after getting married And not only that, but she's had two children She's had Hala And Hind Who are boys, if you're wondering For anybody who's kind of familiar with the names As being girl names Why are the boys girl names Is because there was a jahidi Pre-Islamic society A thing of protecting any nazar Or evil eye from the boys By naming them girls That's how low a society Girls were considered They won't be given the evil eye Their girls So she has Hala And she has Hind, the two boys And her husband, Abu Hala Passes away Right? Before even the second one is born So here she is at 17 A widow And a single mother More themes You seeing the similarity here? Yeah And so at that point in time she decides She's very a bright person So she decides to actually Because she's in Hala, this is an important part She's very wealthy She inherits a large sum of money You know in the column where you're writing Things don't always seem as they are So you think that somebody who has lost Their husband and is widowed at 17 And a single mother of two children It would be disastrous And very difficult Well things are not always what they seem Because what if it was that Allah Abu Hala in her path To allow her to have somebody Not only to have these children And with this money She could have just used it easily And kind of sat in her, you know, high level Of society of elite of Mecca And just, you know, took care of her kids But she decided to put that Brilliance into business And so she does something else In the column of Unique for her time She becomes a businesswoman And not only does she become a businesswoman Because you could outsource this And have it to other men to run your business Though she runs it herself But she, it's noticed about her That every time her caravan goes out It comes back with more profit Compared to the other men She's doing really well Very intelligent masha'Allah And it's almost like I don't need To do exactly the stereotype Of every other woman of society This is what Allah has written for me And I'm going to make the best of it So she dedicates herself to business And to raising her children Now, she's very young still And in that society It's expected that she would be married again And so proposals keep coming in And now add to everything else We said already in the list of characteristics She's wealthy Even more reason Every person Wants to propose to her And she turns them down Until we get to A man named Atiq And similar to her first husband Abu Hala He's also from a noble lineage He himself is wealthy So he's not looking to her wealth He's independently wealthy And he's industrious, a hard worker And so her family And her advisor and teacher And everybody else agrees That this would be a good fit for her And a good match And so she goes ahead and marries For the second time at the age of 17 And she has a girl From this marriage named Hindah Very similar to the first marriage After Hindah is born Her father is going out to the caravan With the caravan and never returns He passes away She's widowed twice over And three children Twice widowed And three children In this period of time This and even to today Put yourself in even today shoes This is difficult, this is heavy This is what do you do with this Exactly What does she do? She takes all of this and she turns it into Again Allah wrote this for me Therefore I'm going to surrender To what he's written to me And she's doing well business wise So she dedicates all her energy into Business and her family And she forgets about marriage So I've tried this Clearly it wasn't written for me Every time she gets married within two years So now she's a businesswoman And for years Years Maybe 15 years This is what she's doing Dedicated to her business, doing very well And something very unique about her Unlike the woman of her time She's very tuned into The poor The needy The orphans And she uses her wealth to help these folks Not only that Unlike the woman of her time Especially the elite kind of wealthy woman of Mecca She takes care of her children by herself She doesn't have, she leads a simple life Not a luxurious life But she could have led because she's wealthy But she decides to do things for herself By herself Which allows her to have empathy And understand those who don't have a lot So now as we fast forward into the story 15 years of this story SubhanAllah She's 34 years old Her father passes away And her father, of course, is a very important person To her And within a very short period of time Her mother passes away as well So suddenly, she's alone No parents No husbands And Waraqa, her mentor Is in his 80s But she keeps on getting advice from him And she does visit with him very regularly And kind of seeks him out for any advice And help And in this period of time She has this discussion with Waraqa Because she hears from him constantly Because he keeps on saying this message Over and over There is a prophet to come and he's eminent It's happening It's in the Torah, it's in the Gospel It is happening, it is coming So she's hearing this very regularly And one night, she has a dream She doesn't know what the dream means But she's just like her father's dream She's happy when she wakes up and doesn't know what to make of it So she goes to Waraqa to ask What does this dream mean? And here's how the dream goes She sees that there's a star in the sky And it separates from the rest of the stars And falls into her lap Literally And it enters into her chest And comes out into her arms And then after that it ascends And the entire sky is drenched In light It's this beautiful dream That she's just excited about If it doesn't know what this means And so she goes to Waraqa And explains to him the dream And he says The prophet has come The prophet has come, this is about the prophet And your home Will be drenched in light It'll have light enter into it And she said, wonderful But what does this have to do with me? And so he foretells Some narrations say that he actually tells her Narrations we just know that That light is going to enter your home Subhanallah And so in this same period of time She carries on with her business And all of you know the story now You're going to connect the dots of where What happens next She has a caravan going to Damascus She's in Mecca And it's a far distance Three months of a journey And she needs a very trustworthy person Now the people of Quraish That Khadija the wealthy woman Needs a very trustworthy person So many people want to be this physician She's going to pay them well Now in the same period of time You know the rest of this part Abul Talib Who exactly is Abul Talib? The uncle Of the prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam Who's taken in the prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam Right after Abdel mutalaf has passed away So now he's being raised in his uncle's home He's a young man And he's And Abul Talib is actually not wealthy And there are many mouths to feed And so Abul Talib Here is about Khadija This caravan and so he says to Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam Why don't you go and take that job She'll pay well And you are trustworthy And she's looking for a trustworthy person And the prophet's nickname was what? Al-Ameen Very good And so he says What would she really mean And why is it going to be the right fit And so he says absolutely And look at how beautiful this is They send an intermediary The prophet's uncle To ask Satana Khadija Would this be the right fit Now Satana Khadija is surprised Because she's been hearing about Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam As a very honorable And kind of trustworthy person And very interested in this caravan Because he's like very noble Like an orphan Not well to do But very honorable And so when they come to Have the business discussion About whether or not it should be the prophet He's so modest He doesn't even look up at her He had her face And she's very happy Because she feels like if it will be Muhammad Taking my caravan over I won't be killed I won't be cheated Like she's at the mercy of whoever is going to go take the caravan over And so she decides And says to him if you take the caravan I'll give you Not just the two camels that are Guaranteed her That's how much she owes for this I'll give you more But it's not about that for the prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam It's because his uncle had asked him And said we need We need some help here She's very excited because She notices things immediately About the prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam For example, she notices That honesty kind of right away And she starts to wonder Because she's been hearing from her That there is a prophet eminent But she doesn't know exactly who this is But she asks Waraqa Tell me some descriptions about this person Because you speak about them From everything you read in the gospel in the Torah As though you know what they look like Sure, I'll tell you some characteristics So this is what he tells her He says this person will never reciprocate Evil with evil He will not raise his voice He is forgiving And he's very merciful He rides donkeys and camels And he's shepherd You know, he's a shepherd And he milks sheep He wears patches on his clothing And he has a The line between his shoulder blades That's called the mark of the prophet That all the other prophets had as well And his name will be Ahmed And so she has all of these different Characteristics that she knows about him And she realizes, wow, this is going to be You know, it'd be amazing If she could possibly get to know Who this person is Well, in that same period of time, there's a rabbi Now remember, the Jews and the Christians Of that era were also being foretold That the prophet is coming And they're also waiting But they're hoping it's going to be from their bloodlines Right? Everybody's looking, everybody's looking But there was a rabbi who came to a group of women Where Sitzina Khadija was standing And he actually says to them He says, a woman of Quraish The signs are telling us That the prophet is here And he will be from Quraish So if any of you can marry him Then do so What kind of jokes does this What prophet is telling us to marry him Not only are they laughing at him They start throwing stones at him to go away But not her She hears this and she feels Like something enters into her heart Like, oh, I hope that could be me For everybody here who's ever thought about When they were younger, thought about getting married There's always this kind of like I wonder who that person will be The list of characteristics follows Sometimes it's a little more shallow It's a little deeper Depending, you know In this society people will say, what is it Tall, dark, and handsome I don't know what that means But anyway, whatever the characteristics people have Anyway, she had in her heart Imagine, put yourself in her shoes for a minute She had this in her heart This little thing entered her heart Like, if that would be me What would it be like to be the wife of a prophet Right? So back now to the story about Sayed Muhammad So she calls her servant And what's her servant's name? Maserah And she tells Maserah This is going to be the leader of the caravan Do not let him out of your sight Everything he does Everything he says, I want a full report afterwards She has a sense about him But she's not really sure and she wants a full report So Maserah says, of course And so off they go on this caravan And so many things start to happen In this journey that she notices And that he notices Maserah as well And you know the stories here We're not going to repeat all of them Because you know them subhanallah Of the cloud that's shading the prophet Wherever he goes That every time that he and Maserah are thirsty He just kind of hits the ground And water springs up from wherever And they're in the middle of the desert That when they pass by The monk, the Haida Who never comes out and doesn't want to interact With people, he sees from a distance And he rushes over and sees the prophet Sitting under the tree and he rushes to Maserah And says, who is this man? And he says his name is Muhammad And he says, no, this is a prophet And there could be people out to get him So go quickly, go back to your home And so Maserah is worried about this And so Maserah experiences All these strange happenings That are going on about this man And one of the most important things That he reports back to Satan al-Khadija Is that in the trade When the prophet's doing business It's a customary that you Swear upon the idols That the prophet Muhammad Never does that And so when Maserah hears actually What did you say that he doesn't swear on the idols? So even from his subhanallah Think about how Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala puts people And he already has things planned Satan al-Khadija Is also a monotheist Not that Muslim, this is before Islam But because she was raised and taught by Waraqah Who was also a monotheist He did not believe in the polytheism Of that time in the idols He believed in the one God And he raised her that way So she's already a monotheist And the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Since he was a young boy had rejected polytheism And he would think subhanallah How Allah has things planned Because of course whoever's meant to be With the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Is that going to in her past have been a polytheist? Subhanallah So here's this From my side, here's all these other amazing things And she feels like when that enters Into your heart you're like I wonder if this is him Subhanallah So anyhow she Contemplates this and from two years Back and forth in her head Back and forth How do I make this move? Because again in the list of things unique to her By this point in time She's 40 And how old is the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam? He's 25 She's 15 years His senior So even in that Period of time very similar to today That's unique That's not typical And not only is it not typical But you know what else isn't typical Still to today Although it has nothing to do with Islam This is all cultural things That initiate the proposal To him sallallahu alayhi wa sallam See we're drawing out all of these Column, this column of things that are unique But also very important That things that are not what they exactly seen That Allah has an amazing better plan So you know the story We won't finish all the parts of this story But you know the story here where she asks And very beautifully how does she go about Sadah Hussai was earlier Telling us about what happens when you have a good friend Somebody who visits with you And has a pulse on you And when you're a little off They can tell And they're like, what's actually wrong What's actually going on? Are you okay? Right? Subhanallah And so anyway This is her friend Nafisa And Nafisa right Senses there's something going on here But she wants to ask and kind of pull it out of Like friends sometimes pull information out of you Subhanallah And so she asks and Nafisa Finally says to her Well I've been thinking about proposing to Muhammad That I don't know how I don't know I mean not only is it so Uncustomary of her time But how do you do this? So being the good friend that Nafisa She says, I'll take care of it She'll Really you'll do that for me? Yes I'll do that for you And so she does this in a beautiful Etiquette way because you don't know What if he's already thinking of someone else How do you, you know, how do you You don't want to put her in an embarrassing situation either So Nafisa goes over to Sayyidina Muhammad And it's a very beautiful haul She asks this, she says to him Her exact words are What is preventing you from getting married? Now are you married? Are you interested? What's preventing you from getting married? And so the Prophet Sallallahu Alaikum tells Nafisa and he says to her I'm not in a financial position to do so I can't Take care of a wife and a family I don't have the means So Nafisa very smartly says to him What if the means Were not an issue What if that wasn't a problem What if the woman was Wealthy and beautiful And honorable And so the Prophet Sallallahu Alaikum says Well who's that? And she says to him Khadija And so he's kind of, he didn't say She's very quiet and he's interested And so she's very excited Nafisa's about to rush over to And tell her That there is a potential here Anyhow, she consults So the Prophet Sallallahu Alaikum consults His uncle Abul Taniq who thinks That this is a good match And she consults her uncle And they think it's a good match And subhanallah for sake of time We'll just kind of wrap this piece together And say both families agree Their uncles and their wed Subhanallah She's 40, here's 25 She's previously married twice And has three children He's never been married What's to come after this Is an amazing marriage Something you can take all week Talking about the marriage of Sayyidina Muhammad Sallallahu Alaikum Truly when the books say A marriage of bliss And one of hardship and sacrifice It really is that way Subhanallah But it really was blissful for so many things That we're going to quickly kind of outline here And explain Unique to Satana Khadija is after And she's 40 when she marries, right Which means that because after that point With Sayyidina Muhammad Sallallahu Alaikum She gives birth to six children 40 onwards Subhanallah And two of them are boys Who pass away Qasim and Abdullah And four of them are girls Who live into their adulthood Zaynab, Ruqya, Umqalthum and Fatima Who Dr. Ahmad will speak about Fatima right after this inshallah And when you think about Who she is as a wife To the Prophet Sallallahu Alaikum Remember she has her business And she's independently wealthy And she's educated And she knows and has been told A hard path But she's signed up for it She's already surrendered Her life to whatever Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala Has given her And something about being a beautiful wife Like a really honorable wife Is that you push, this is something I can't wait for Haith Sosan to come There's so many stories and messages in here That I personally learned from Ansa Sosan Who's going to be here In just a couple talks after That I can't wait for you to meet her in person But one of the things that I remember learning From Ansa Sosan is that a wife Who does well as a wife Is someone that when she marries She understands that this man that she's married Isn't hers He isn't her property He has a family And he has parents And he has siblings And he has extended members of his family And he needs to do right by them Just like he needs to do right by her And this new family that he's creating And a good wife Pushes her husband towards His family, not away from his family And this is what we see in Satanah Khadija She reminds him That his milk mother What's say the Muhammad's milk mother's name Halima Is out there And how is she doing? So she reminds him Check up on the people That were important in your life And they invite her over And when Satanah Halima comes over to visit Can you imagine? She tells her that there's hardships And there's famine and so on And out of her generosity, Satanah Khadija Gives her all these sheep And all this wealth, you know what I mean To go back with her Out of honor of the family Of her husband She honors them There was a milk mother That the prophet Salaam had another one That was the slave Of Abu Lahab Right And she tells the prophet Salaam Why don't we Free her Purchase to free And he says this is an amazing idea He didn't have the wealth but she did Right So she's honoring his family Or honoring him through honoring his family Do you see what I'm saying? It turns out that Abu Lahab said no Because Abu Lahab as you know from the Surah Like he's not going to agree to this But later on in life, this milk mother Does get freed SubhanAllah, but not in that story Because they do actually try and he says no But the story here is the point is That she honors her husband And honors her husband's family as well She also surrenders in that Whenever the prophet Salaam Now as kind of imagine kind of Keep going forward, keep going forward in time And they have had their children And years into this Fifteen years into this How many first received revelation? Forty So they were married for fifteen years And had their six children right In that period of time Before revelation even comes But when it does come It's heavy, it's difficult Right and the prophet Salaam doesn't know What this is that's coming And this is where satanah hadisha plays An incredibly important and pivotal role Right because what does she say? Because the first thing that ever Happens that the first thing that ever The first thing that the prophet notices that happens Right is he actually sees Sayyidina Jibreel, the archangel Gabriel He sees him and he kind of frozen Because he sees him in the sky And he kind of sees him and he's just frozen Right not sure what this is Or what to do with this SubhanAllah And he hears He hears him say, oh Muhammad You are the messenger of God And I am the archangel Gabriel And he's frozen And he stays frozen like that until Jibreel leaves And at that point you can imagine He runs back to his family He runs back to satanah hadisha And he's just Very, very unsure of what all of this is And she calms him down She doesn't get all excited along with him She calms him down And he says, I'm afraid I saw a devil What if this is a devil That I saw and she says to him Allah would never embarrass you You treat your relatives well You help the needy You protect the poor And you come to the aid of the aggrieved You are a wonderful host to your guests Allah will never embarrass you This is a good sign, don't worry Don't worry, and if she calms him down But then again, right When prophecy comes and he's at this point In time the Prophet said, things are happening All around him, he's seeing lights He starts to admit to her that he's seeing these lights And he's hearing sounds I hear so many people in counseling Say to me things like, I think I'm going crazy I deal with this a lot And I say, no, no, no That's not going crazy, that's just You're dealing with difficult things It can make you feel like you're going crazy But that you're not actually going crazy And so there are difficult things that are happening So what does she do? She says, you're not going crazy You're not, like all the people are starting to say Something is possessing Muhammad He has evil magic He has something, whatever, all these things Terrible things that the rumors are spreading about him She's the one in the background saying, what? No, you're fine No, these are good signs Allah is there for you because you are good to him And you are good to the people So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam This is very important here He starts slowly but surely Going more and more and more Where? Where does he go off to? Allah al-Hayrat The cave of al-Hayrat And in the cave of al-Hayrat, what is he doing there? This is all before revelation comes, you guys What is he doing there? Yeah, he's contemplating He's in Solitude with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala He knows something is greater But doesn't know exactly what Right? But feels that there's a heaviness and he needs that You know subhanallah, I talk with sisters all the time People all the time And they're going through really, really heavy things And I say, have you been praying about this? Have you spent some time alone With Allah to sort this out? No? If you are going through something heavy What is the sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam? He did two things here He isolated to really contemplate On what this is and give himself the time To really ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala What is this? Right? Help me understand the science And number two He sought out help He went to khadija And said help me What is this? What's going on here? He sought out support And she helped him through this Right? And so here's the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam We know the story here We're finally subhanallah Here comes the jubril And squeezes him tight And what happens next? You know, what happens next? What does he say? Read Read in the name of your Lord Who created man from a clot of congealed blood Read, your Lord is most merciful Generous Who taught by the pen Who taught man but he did not know And can you imagine as soon as he's finally Released from this embrace That's ayah the jubril is holding him And what do you think he did? He went running down that mountain Right? Running over to sit in a khadija And he's trembling, shaking like a leaf And what does she do? She calms him down She holds him She literally puts his head on her lap And holds him Right? And she tells him This is a good sign But she's not sure either So she goes to her trusted cousin Her mentor, Waraqa And she says let's go to my cousin So she takes the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam To Waraqa and they tell the whole story to him And what does Waraqa say? He starts to cry Because at this point in time Waraqa is probably like 95 years old Okay? And he says to them I wish that I was Young enough To be here to support you when your people Kick you out Khadija's saying They're going to kick him out Like it dawns on her This is the start of a very difficult chapter And so at that point It's clear that he's going to be expelled And there's some heavy heavy work to be done And so the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Continues to go back on more and more frequently And here I'm going to pause for a minute Have you guys seen Ghar Harat? Have you seen pictures of it? Maybe some of you have been there Has anyone tried to climb it? It's hard If you haven't seen it Don't please don't use your phones right now But eventually after this What does this look like? Where the area where the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was saying Is very high up It's a hike It's literally a hike up the mountain Now remember How old sits in a Khadija at this story? How old is she? 55 years old I'm not going to ask you obviously as women How old you all are I imagine we have many people here Who are 55 and older And if you're not You're eventually going to get there Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam I'll give you a long life Put yourself at age 55 Hiking up this mountain Because the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam More and more and more is going there For longer and longer periods of time It's heavier and heavier Like what is this prophecy that's come to him? Which means he needs food and water And as a dedicated and devoted wife There's your column of the different descriptions right? She's very loyal And she continues to take him food and water And hikes up the mountain Just to give him the food and water And comes back down and hikes up And gives him the food and comes back up There's your total dedication To a cause that she believes in That this is righteous And this is the Prophet of God The final Prophet Think about that Subhanallah Right Now 40 days later Comes yet another time Where the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Receives another revelation Does anyone know what the second revelation is? Huh? Ya ayyuhal muzammil Qumil layla illa qalila Right Now What happens The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam This is the backstory He receives this revelation And he is again It's terrifying You don't know what this exactly is So he runs over to his wife And he says You know when you're like in fear And it's like you're drenched in cold sweat And he says cover me, cover me So she covers him And again she puts him on her lap And he stays there for a very long time But then suddenly He jumps up He says What happened? He's received the revelation in her home And it says Ya ayyuhal muzammil Oh you who's wrapped up in the blanket That's what it says Pray In the night Subhanallah So it happens in her home And so when it happens He does You know what is this And so she says This is from God This is from God This is revelation from God So what is she doing here? Think about the process What's happening here She's believing him She's his confidant She's giving him support and strength She's aiding him Do you see what's happening here? Subhanallah Ya And so And so As we wrap up here She's without hesitating She's also the first person To accept Islam I didn't say the first woman I said the first person And there's no hesitation there She accepts Islam But when you are first at something And a pioneer at something That means she's the first to make will do After the Prophet's license She's the first to pray After the Prophet's license She's the first to pray in Jamal In congregation She's the first at everything A woman So when people go on and on about women Oh it's different for them in Islam I'm like really? Really? Let's talk about our foremothers Masha'Allah And kind of like put things into perspective So in wrapping up here I'm going to say this There's many other things that happen As it's in Khadija's life Because what happens from this point on We talked about until she got to 65 At 55 rather She doesn't actually live that much longer After this But she goes through some really difficult things Like not only were the people saying Terrible things about her family But her daughters Ended up being divorced Because of it too Her daughters Two of them were married to two sons Of Abu Lahab And they forced the sons To divorce their wives And another woman would have said No no no Up until here I draw my line I don't want my daughters divorced But she said Allah will replace something better And sure enough that happened Because it's in a Ruqayyah for example Ends up marrying Who? Othman I've been an Othman So much better Than the sons of Abu Lahab Right Things are not always what they seem This is a message that shows up Over and over It's in Khadija's life She also loses her sons And so they say to her about her About Sayed-e-Muhammad That see Your lineage is cut off As in to say The understanding is that It goes through the sons But that's not how prophecy works Right And so this is difficult So she's dealing with all these Difficult things subhanAllah But the beautiful thing here That stands out And is completely unique About Sayed-e-Muhammad Is that when Sayed-e-Muhammad Would come with the revelation To give to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Oftentimes it was in her home And in her presence And there was a time That she played a little experiment To see She had learned from Ruqa That if it's truly an angel And not a devil That they don't That they will turn away If there's any aura Or nakedness showing So she said to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam When he says I see Sayed-e-Muhammad And so she says Okay, sit here On the side of her lap Do you still see him? Yeah, I still see him Okay, now come sit On the side of my lap Do you still see him? Yeah, I still see him Then she kind of Moves her hijab Literally like Pulls it down Just a little bit to show some hair And she said Now do you see him? No, he disappeared It's amazing Smart, intelligent Right? She understands And is tuned in To these things And the most beautiful Of course story That sums it all up Is that in one of the times Where she The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam Is in Ghar-e-Hara And she's going up To give him food and water The archangel Gabriel Jibril says to Sayed-e-Muhammad And this is the famous You know, hadith that we know He says Your wife Khadija is coming To give you food and water Give her salam From Allah And myself And tell her That she has been Guaranteed a palace In paradise After which she will not Have any Noise Or fatigue Allahu Akbar That hadith right there And if you just look At the little bit Noise and fatigue If you think about The fact that What is she doing To be the prophet of God And the prophet of the ummah She's holding up All the house chores She's holding the fort down At home, literally She's making it all work And there's all these kids Not just her own But also at this point in time You know, Ali Ibn Abi Talib Is living with them There's other young people Living with them There's Zaid Ibn Hadith Are living with them There's a lot of noise Happening in her home Right, and she's managing This home by herself Sacrificing to allow her husband To be the prophet of God So he says to her You'll have a house In paradise with no noise And no fatigue There's more to the story SubhanAllah But we've run out of time But needless to say What Sultana Khadija does With the rest of her life And the rest of her wealth Is given all to Islam Because soon after There's that embargo As you know Where they embargo They put an embargo On the muslimin They won't allow them To trade And they're starving And at the very end Of Khadija's life She goes from this Wealthy, wealthy, wealthy Noble woman To having given away everything To muslims And to early Islam To the point that she's on her deathbed She is so starved And skinny Because she's given away everything That she herself is starved And she's disease ridden And she's on her deathbed And she isn't going to recover And the prophet Is tearful This is very difficult for him to see And he says to her If you've had difficulty here You won't have difficulty there Subhanallah And there she is At the very end of her life Until the very end In full support And dedication to Islam To allow us to have this Islam And full dedication as The wife Who's able to allow her husband To do this great and noble work And dedication to her children To allow them to become The mothers of the mu'mineen That we're going to hear about At least for Sinaf al-Fatima today And when she passes away It's the 27th night of Ramadan And there she is Of her 65 years of life She spent 25 years of them With the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam And in that period of time Like I said, her name is Khadija Born ahead of her time Not just physically But ahead of her time In breaking all kinds of stereotypes And barriers experienced by women And not for the sake of feminism But for the sake of doing what's right For the sake of standing up to her beliefs For the sake of charting her own path But that path is a path Even though it's charted It's surrendered to Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala And she's strong She's independent She's courageous She is supportive of her husband But the dunya never gets to her head That wealth that she has Never enters into her heart She gives, and gives, and gives Subhanallah And with that we conclude Masha'Allah Sina Khadija Not just as the wealthy noble woman That we often refer to her as But somebody with nobility And intelligence and independence Becomes that role model For all of the women here Who have a chart to path in life That's different than others And difficult And do so With full surrendering to Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala Knowing he's going to carry us through Baruk Allahu Fikr Wa sallallahu maa ala Sayyidina Muhammad Wa ala ala alihi wa sahbihi wa sallam Alayhi badaq fiqi Thank you Dr. Danya Very inspiring And it's amazing We have Masha'Allah amazing speakers Speaking about amazing women Masha'Allah And we draw inspiration From our foremothers And from the women around us today Masha'Allah We're going to continue With our program Masha'Allah At this time I'm going to invite Dr. Amina Darwish to join us Masha'Allah Dr. Amina is Started her associate dean Of religious and spiritual life And advisor for the Muslim life In February 2021 She previously served as The first full-time Muslim life coordinator At Columbia University Dr. Darwish has a decade Of professional experience Working with the Muslim community She also brings years Of experience building And serving in nonprofit organizations She brings a unique one Of understanding the different cultures Within the Muslim community While staying grounded In traditional Islamic scholarship She earned a PhD In chemical engineering Before switching careers To follow her true passion For community building She remains passionate About including ethics Meaning and service And to STEM disciplines Dr. Darwish strives to always Create a culture of openness And consistent kindness Into the communities she serves She earned jazz Traditional Islamic study Certification from the Al Qalam Or from Qalam and critical Loyalty seminaries Including any jazz In the ten Qiraat Dr. Darwish has studied Individually under different Scholars from different parts Of the world And has taught college-level Coursework on Islam And Muslims We welcome her today To speak about Lady Fatima For her primal love Bismillah Bismillahirrahmanirrahim I'm mad at the many sunny Of the name of Allah The Lord of Mercy The giver of mercy and prayers And blessing is beyond His beloved prophet From As-Salaam MashaAllah we had Some incredible speakers And I'm just proud to be Their funny nerdy friend That gets tagged along Did not I just so I wanted to just dive right in Just because say just because Sayyid al-Faltima, R.A. there's so much about her and I wanna make sure that we talk about it. Sayyid al-Faltima, R.A. was, they called her the, they said that she was the female version of her father. And this was the description of Sayyid al-A'isha, R.A. And like even down to the details, like she walked like him, she talked like him, like she was just embodied the Prophet S.A. And we know from, also from A'isha, R.A. the Prophet S.A. when they asked her, what is the Prophet S.A.'s character? She said, he was walking Quran. He was a personification of the Quran. You hear about these ideals in the Quran, you learn about them, you read about them and Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam he personified them. And she was the female version of him, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. We talked a lot about, oh, we talked a lot about lineages, Masha'Allah. And no one has a cooler lineage than Fatiha Allah. So the Prophet S.A. was talking about his own lineage. He said that always Allah SWT, any time that there was a point where there was a split in the family tree, he would always pick the purest and then the Prophet S.A. would come from the pure side of that tree. And it kept going and going in the Prophet S.A. even describing his own lineage. He said in his entire lineage, going back to Sayyidina Adam, Alaihi Wasallam, Nikah la sifah. It was all through marriage. Every person in the Prophet S.A.'s lineage was in a committed loving relationship. SubhanAllah. And now you can imagine the Prophet S.A. Mary Sayyid al-Khadeed al-Radiullah who we just learned about and their daughter is Fatima al-Radiullah. SubhanAllah. So they had four daughters, SubhanAllah, and in a community where like the Arabs would, as we had mentioned, if a daughter is born, especially if she is the first born, they would bury their daughters alive. May Allah protect us. SubhanAllah. You don't see people physically do that, but you see them crush their daughters, unfortunately. And the Prophet S.A. had a daughter, and Sayyid al-Khadeed al-Radiullah and they had a daughter Zaynab al-Radiullah and they threw a huge party. So excited. And then they had another child, Sayyid al-Ruqayr al-Radiullah. Huge party. Sayyid al-Umkulthum and every time they have another daughter, everybody's like, they're still celebrating their daughters? And she was the fourth one. Imagine that much celebration. They threw a huge party when she was born. And there's a significant thing that happened the year that she was born. They were rebuilding the Ka'bah. So there came all of these floods and the structure of the Ka'bah was starting to really just have some damage to it and they decided they had to rebuild the Ka'bah. And what they did is, SubhanAllah, they started rebuilding the Ka'bah. And only thing left was that they needed to put the black stone. This is a famous story. I'm sure some of you have heard it before. And it's such an honor to be able to be the one to put the black stone. And they start fighting over it until somebody is like, that's it, this is war. We're literally gonna kill each other over this. And then somebody's like, whoa, wait, let's not kill each other over this. Let's wait till the next person walks in. No matter the next person is, they'll decide. And you can imagine, everybody's waiting, he's like, please let it be my tribe, please let it be my tribe. They're just waiting so that the next person comes in from their tribe so that their tribe can get that honor. And the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi sallam walks in and they say, The most trustworthy, we are happy with his counsel. We are content with what he decides. And the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi sallam, in his wisdom, he gets them to work off their anger. He takes off his aba'a, his outer cloak, puts it on the ground, puts the black stone on top of it, takes the representative from each of the tribes. They walk around carrying it in the show of unity, walking off their anger. He brings together everyone in Mecca, and that was the year she was born, the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi sallam was born when, in specific, the year of the elephant, she was born in the year of the rebuilding of the Ka'ba. So there's so many parallels, subhanallah. They named her Fatima, radiallahu alayhi sallam, so it was almost like in hopes that Fatima is when a child is nursing and then you stop nursing the child, i.e. they survived through childhood, through their early stages. So when you name someone Fatima, it is in hopes that one day they will have a lot of children and they will nurse a lot of children and a lot of those children will survive and live to supersede and to go pass them, subhanallah. So they named her Fatima, radiallahu alayhi sallam. Also, fun fact, she's named after her two grandmothers. So the mother of Khadija, radiallahu alayhi sallam was named Fatima, and the wife of Abu Talib, who is a consistent motherly figure in the life of the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi sallam, and there's so many descriptions where he talks about her. He said like, Abu Talib had 10 kids and everybody would eat and there wouldn't be food left for the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi sallam that said his Abu Talib's wife Fatima, she hides some food for him. She said, these are her actual children and she's hiding food for the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi sallam. So they named her Fatima after those two women, subhanallah. Her nickname, so Al-Fatima, they shared a number of other names, Al-Batul, is the one who recedes and leaves everyone around her and goes into worship and seclusion. So this was reminiscent of Sayyidina Maryam alayhi sallam. They called Maryam Maryam Al-Batul, subhanallah. You see how she takes from all of the different mothers, subhanallah. The culmination of so much beauty, subhanallah. Her name is Zahra. I learned this recently about makeup. You have an undertone, I did not know this. See, I studied engineering. When you're a woman in engineering, you don't try very hard, you're really the prettiest one there because you're one of the three girls. Never learned how to do makeup, I did not. But her undertone was red. So similar to her father, they said when he got angry, his face turned red. She looked exactly like him. Her face would turn red, jib, rosy cheeks. They called her as Zahra, as Zahra is like a flower. Subhanallah. So those are some of her nicknames. And subhanallah, she was an example of every time they would give an example of someone that the extent of the love of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi sallam, they would use Fatima as the example. So when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi sallam is doing da'wah for the first time, he's saying, yeah, Fatima bint Muhammad. Yeah, Fatima bint Rasudina. Oh, Fatima, the daughter of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi sallam. It's alini min ma li mashayti. Ask me for my money, whatever you want. Whatever worldly things you need, I'll give you. But I can't protect you from Allah. You still have to make this decision for yourself. And later, someone comes to him, he's like, oh, there's a noble woman, but she stole. So let's not, you know, let's not apply the punishment to her. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi sallam got angry. He said, what, you think we're a society where we only punish the people that are poor? This is what destroyed the people before us. We're not doing that. And the example he gave, he said, even the most beloved person to me, if Fatima bint Muhammad sallallahu alayhi sallam, if she stole, I would apply the punishment to her. Because again, he keeps using her as an example of the epitome of love, sallallahu alayhi sallam. Sayyidah Fatima radhulana. So now she is born in the five years before the beginning of the revelation. And as a child, she was a witness to so much of what happened during the life of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi sallam. So by the time the revelation came, her older sister Zaynab had already gotten married and moved out. And her two older sisters, Ruqayah and Umqutum had also gotten married and moved out. And Sayyidah Fatima radhulana, she said, you know, if I stay home, I get to hang out with my parents. And her parents are Muhammad sallallahu alayhi sallam and Khadija radhulana. And she's like, I'm not getting married. I'm not doing that. I'm gonna stay here. Subhanallah. And just a little bit about the relationship between the sisters. So Sayyidah Zaynab radhulana was like a second mother to her. They were very, very close. And Ruqayah and Umqutum radhulana, they were like, you know those siblings that are inseparable? That was Ruqayah and Umqutum radhulana. They were always inseparable. And Sayyidah Zaynab and Fatima radhulana were very close. Also something that's interesting about how the Prophet sallallahu alayhi sallam's fatherhood, it's with tradition that the eldest daughter would marry someone from her father's side of the family. And Sayyidah Zaynab radhulana really liked Al-Aas ibn Rabiya radhulana was from her mother's side of the family. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi sallam was not about to break his daughter's heart over a stupid tradition. Because that was the fatherhood of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi sallam. They were so unique in Arabian society. So much so that Abu Lahab came and was like, oh my God, what did you do? The next two girls have to marry from the father's side of the family. And they married from the father's side of the family. And they all moved out and she was, Fatima radhulana was like, I'm gonna stay here. And then sure enough, as the revelation became, can you imagine just being a fly on the wall in that house? Fatima radhulana, being a child in that house. Getting to witness all of this, witnessing the Prophet sallallahu alayhi sallam being wrapped up. Witnessing what her mother told him sallallahu alayhi sallam. Witnessing all of this. One of the other names that she had was ummi abiyah, the mother to her father. It's kind of funny. But she was such a nurturing person, subhanallah. She was the person, they call it emotional labor. Can you imagine the weight her father is carrying? And she was the one that was there for him the most emotionally. Radhulana, we talk so much about womanhood. A lot of our womanhood is carrying and loving other people. And it's thankless. No one ever says, oh, by the way, thank you. This is why there's so many iterations about thank your mothers. Be kind to your mothers because they're the ones that are doing this work. But even not just motherhood, like as women in our community, when you realize who's actually doing stuff with the majority of the time, it's the women. And who's carrying the heaviest load? Usually it's the women. And not a load of just like, oh, I'm carrying the table. No, I'm carrying with you in my heart your pain. And I love you and I care about you. My students asked me when I first started, like, what's your job? I'm like, honestly, the biggest part of my job is I make da'a for you. I just love you enough to make da'a for you. This is what I feel like our spiritual leadership is, that you know someone that loves you enough, that asked the creator of the universe to be on your side. That's what love is, SubhanAllah. This is what our spiritual path is. And that's what Fatima was for her own father. When she was a little girl, she saw Abu Lahab force his son to divorce her sisters. They came back home. She saw when the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam was praying in front of the Ka'bah, they took the entails of like an animal, put it on his head and it was heavy. And no one could dare walk up because they beat up anyone that came and helped him. But this little girl, she walked up, she cried, she pushed it off of her father's head. She was so consistently there for her father Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. And when you think of the tragedy that happened in the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam's life, it happened in her life too. She lost her mother. It was the year of sorrow, they boycotted their family. She lost her mother and she went to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam afterwards and she's in tears. She's saying, I can't sleep. I can't, what do I, where is my mother? He tells her, she's in Jannah. She's in a happy place, SubhanAllah. What are the greatest relief when you lose someone is knowing that they're in a better place, SubhanAllah. She loses her mother and SubhanAllah, not too long after she lost her mother, one of the other companions goes to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and she tells him, she tells him, she's like, you know, who's going to help you with your children and your household? And he says, who can ever be after Khadija? He starts, she could see, he was shaken and she felt that the Zahabiya Khawla, she was saying, I felt guilty that I even brought this up. Then he told her, he's like, no, who do you mean? She said, Sayyidah Saudarallahu Alaihi Wasallam and Sayyidah A'isha Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. So the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam proposed to both of them. Sayyidah Saudarallahu Alaihi Wasallam had joined the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam's household. By then, it was hurt, so Sayyidah Ruqayyah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam married, we just heard, married Sayyidina, Arthman Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and moved to Habisha. They went with the first migration to Habisha, to Abyssinia and then they came back, SubhanAllah. So again, her family did original, happy household of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. She was the one that was trying to maintain it for the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, maintaining this home for him, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. Every time someone would propose and it's not like random people propose, like Abu Bakrullah Al-Anim proposed and she's like, I want to stay with my father. Omar Al-Anim proposed and she's like, I want to stay with my father. She stayed with her father up until the point where her father and Abu Bakrullah Al-Anim did the hijra because if the family of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam leaves, they're going to try to kill him. So she's worried for her father, but he has to leave and her and her sister, Um Kuthumar, actually left behind and they end up doing the migration later. We know the story of Sayyidina Ali, R.A. sleeping in the bed of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. Sayyidah Fatima and Um Kuthum, R.A. We usually don't hear the stories and the sacrifice of the women. Also stayed behind as a protection for his life, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam because if they left, people would try to find him and kill him. So they realized the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam is gone and now it's safe for them to go and she's on an animal and one of the enemies of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam kicked the animal until she fell off and she was hurt. And her and Um Kuthumar, R.A. walked the rest of the way to Medina. Imagine the sacrifice. It takes two weeks by horseback or by camelback. Now it's like what, four-hour drive? She walked that. Her and her mother, her and her sister and Kuthum, R.A. And they get to Medina and the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam is married to Sayyidah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and now for the first time her father is moving on and he's getting married. So now she starts to consider marriage for herself. And the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam knows who she likes. He knows his daughter as well. He would never break his daughter's hearts. Subhanallah. These other people come and propose and they're like Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam is like thanks, but no thanks. Until Sayyidina Ali, R.A. people were like, we think he likes you. It's like, but what am I supposed to do? And mind you, Ali, R.A. didn't have a lot of money. We talked about how Sayyidah Khadija, R.A. gave away all of her wealth. I was at the wealth of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam his wealth as well. And Fatima, R.A. has wealth as well. They didn't have money left. Sayyidina Ali, R.A. didn't have a lot of money. He grew up in the household of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. They grew up together. They were really close. You could say they were childhood friends. And Subhanallah, he goes to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam's house and he just goes and he stands in front of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and just loses his nerve and just sits there. How are you supposed to go to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam? He's like, can I marry your daughter? Like, how are you supposed to do that? Until the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam looks at him and says, did you need something Ali? And then he's like, right? So funny, Subhanallah. And then he's like, yeah, we're asking about Fatima. The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam says, Like, okay, you're welcome. And then he's like, he just got up and left. He didn't even know what to do next. And then they don't like, no, no, go back. Go back and officially propose. He already told you it's okay. So he goes back and he proposes to say the Fatima, the Allah on her, officially proposes. And the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam says, do you have something to give her as a gift? He's like, I don't have anything. He didn't have wealth. And the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, remember you had this zed or you had this shield. You have one thing, go get that one thing. So he goes, gets the one thing and he comes back. And also like, I'm trying to imagine, say the Fatima, the Allah is like, hey, I got my dowry is a shield. But so indicative of her life, Subhanallah. They sell the shield and she ends up with one pillow, one cover, her house is so simple, so simple, Subhanallah. And she marries Sayyidina Ali, radiallahu anhu. And there's a moment where Sayyidina Ali, radiallahu anhu is thinking about taking a second wife because this was normal for the Arabs at the time. Sayyidina Fatima is like, you are not doing that. She goes and she complains to her father. And her father actually goes to Sayyidina Ali, radiallahu anhu. He's like, you know, Asidina Rabi'ah's Husband wasn't even Muslim. And when I told him, he wasn't allowed to take a second wife, like he was down with that. And then he tells him, Fatima minni, Fatima's bi'atu minni is a part of me. What hurts her, hurts me. And Sayyidina Ali, radiallahu anhu is like, I will not do anything that will harm her. Their house in Medina, Subhanallah, when you go to, who's been to Medina? Anyone? So the Prophet, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, is buried in the house of A'ishat Al-Dula'an and their rooms, they were, what is now a large walk-in closet is the size of their rooms, that was their houses. And they had a row of houses, the mothers and the believers, radiallahu anhu'na and Sayyidina Fatima and Sayyidina Ali, radiallahu anhu'na also had a small house. The Prophet, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, on his way to Fajr, he would call out to them and he says, it's time for Fajr. Nama yuridullahu ayyuthi ba'ankum urijsa ahl al-bayt. He says, and he recites the ayah of Shamsul al-Ahzab ayat number 33. He says, Allah swt wants to remove any, like any evil from you or family of the Prophet, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. Come wake up, come to Fajr. They were neighbors, they were right next to each other. The Prophet, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, every time he would travel, he would come back and the first thing he would do is that he would go to the house of Fatima radiallahu anhu and he would give her salams. And any time he walked into a room or she, sorry, any time he was sitting there and she walked into a room, he would stand up for her. He would go, he would kiss her and he would have her sit in his spot wherever he was sitting or he would have her sit right exactly next to him. And she would do the same for him. They clearly had a deep, deep bond. There's so many narrations of like, and then someone came in and the Prophet, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam was taking a shower and say the Fatima radiallahu anhu was the one that was holding the cover for him so he could shower, just normal day-to-day life. She was just there for him every single time, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. And she would have a disagreement with Sayyidina Ali radiallahu anhu. They're a young couple. We have this idea of like, the perfect marriage doesn't have challenges. You argue about stuff. The best couple in the world fights over the thermostat. Every couple fights over the thermostat. Subhanallah. And the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, like they had this discussion once and she was frustrated with him and he went to pray and went and fell asleep in the masjid and the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam woke him up. He's like, come here, get up. The one who covered the dirt, come on, get up. What's going on? I'm with you and Fatima radiallahu anhu. And he goes and he reconciles between them. Subhanallah. One of the days, things got really difficult because they didn't have wealth. Sayyidina Fatima radiallahu anhu asked her husband, told her, ask your father if he can get support, if we can get someone to come help us at home. And she went to her father and then she lost her nerve and came back. She's like, I couldn't ask him. So he's like, I'll go ask. So then he goes back and they ask him and the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam says, I can't give you, when there are people that are hungry, when Ahl al-Sufah don't have to eat. So Ahl al-Sufah was essentially a homeless shelter in the Masjid of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, where anyone that didn't have anywhere else to go went to the Masjid. This is what our Masjid should be. It should be the place where people are in need, they should know to just come to the Masjid. And the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam told them, I can't give you wealth when Ahl al-Sufah don't have to eat. And then it hurt his heart. He said, I can't. He just turned down to his daughter, it hurt him. So he went back to them and he told them, let me give you something that's better. After every Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, say Subhanallah al-Hamdulillah, sorry, Subhanallah al-Hamdulillah, Allahu Akbar 10 times each. And before you go to sleep, say Subhanallah al-Hamdulillah and Allahu Akbar 33, 33 and 34 times each. And Sayyidina Ali, all the way around 30 years later, he said, we never, like we never missed a night, every single time, every single time. Subhanallah. In the fourth, Subhanallah over time, she ended up started having her own children. And the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam was so excited having children because she had children. Subhanallah, he lost his sons when they were young. And she was there to witness her parents losing their child. And the Meccans, like celebrating the death of her brother, Wa-l-Aiyyad-e-Binda, they're horrible people. Celebrate the death of a child, Subhanallah. So finally she has her own children. She has Sayyidina Al-Hassan in the third year of the Hijrah. Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam is ecstatic. He loved her kids. Sayyidina Al-Hassan was in the fourth year of the Hijrah. And there's so many stories, like the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam is in Sujood and one day they're in Salah and then the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam just never comes up from Sujood and they're just sitting there, they're waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting. He's been in Sujood for a long time. Till finally he gets up and they ask me, how does Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam happen? And he said, oh, you know, Hassan Al-Hassan, we're sitting on my head. I was waiting till they were done. And he mentioned that doesn't have children. Be worried about the next generation. Any Masjid that doesn't have women really be worried about the next generation. Well, actually, no, be worried about this generation because if the women aren't there, you're really screwing up. SubhanAllah. Then she had her daughter Zainab in the fifth year of the Hijrah and Umku Thum. She named her children after her sisters. SubhanAllah, so much beauty. Like you could feel the love emanating from this family, SubhanAllah. SubhanAllah. So as she also had her children, they also had dreams about their children. And the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam as each of her children were born because she out of all of the lineage of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam came through Fatima R.A., came through the children of Sayyidina Ali R.A. and Fatima. The only one exception was Sayyidina Zainab R.A., one of her daughters actually ended up marrying Sayyidina Ali R.A. after the passing of Sayyidina Fatima R.A. So again, all of the lineage came from there. And her children, we talked about Ahl al-Suffah how she would go and she would feed them. So much so, there is a narration actually in Surah, I don't know how much time do I have. Let me keep going until you tell me to stop. I love you too. Okay, sounds good. SubhanAllah, in Surah Al-Insan, which in and of itself is the Surah of the human. What is the state of human being, SubhanAllah? What does it mean to be a human being? All of philosophy is based on what is man, except I'm not going to go down there. That I have seven minutes, I won't go down that road. SubhanAllah, in that Surah, ayah number eight through ten actually describes a situation that happened to Sayyidina Ali and Fatima R.A. So they were fasting. And the ayah says, وَيَطْعَيْمُونَ قَعْمَا لَهُ بِهِ مِسْكِيْنَنْ وَيَتِيمَنْ وَأَسِيرَةَ And they feed the food, despite their love for it, someone who is impoverished, an orphan and a prisoner of war. So the first day they're fasting and they have food and they're about to eat and someone comes and knocks on the door and he says يَا أَهْلَ بَيْتِ رَسُوْدِ اللَّهِ وَفَيْمِيَا the Prophet ﷺ I'm one of the poor of the Muslims. So they give him the food and the only thing they have water left is water. So the Prophet ﷺ, sorry Sayyidina Ali R.A. and Hassan Hussein only drink water. And then the next day again they have food and they're excited. They didn't eat the day before and they have food and someone knocks on the door and he says, I'm an orphan and they give him food and they just drink water and they bring their fast on water and then the third day a prisoner of war and after the third day, SubhanAllah the Prophet ﷺ comes and realizes they're his neighbors and they're hungry. They haven't eaten in three days. SubhanAllah he sees the children crying, they're hungry and the Prophet ﷺ it hurts his heart that his family is hungry and SubhanAllah Sayyidina Hassan was known for his eloquence. Sayyidina Hussein Ali R.A. and SubhanAllah, I'm gonna talk about him in a second. SubhanAllah they go to the Prophet ﷺ and he realizes that they're in pain and he finds them food. But it's so beautiful. The next ayah says, We feed you for the face of Allah ﷻ. We don't want from you any reward or any gratitude. We're seeking it from Allah ﷻ. That we fear from our Lord a day where like Aba says like that, you know how you're frowning? This really difficult day, SubhanAllah. We fear from Allah a very difficult day. This is why we're feeding. This was the household of the Prophet ﷺ. Before she passed away similar to the narration about her mother, Husaydina Jibril alayhi salam came and gave the Prophet ﷺ a good tidings about his wife Khadija al-Ralil al-Anha again. Abu Hurayda narrates that an angel, instead of Allah, so the Prophet ﷺ is saying that an angel came and asked to enter to be able to visit me. And he gave me the glad tidings that Fatima would be the leader of the women of my ummah. And that Hassan and Husayn would be the leaders of the young men of the ummah in Jannah. SubhanAllah, what a beautiful glad tidings, SubhanAllah. SubhanAllah. The Prophet ﷺ towards the end, like in the eighth year of SubhanAllah, we kind of talked about all these things that were happening. In the eighth year of the Hijra was the conquest of Mecca. That was also the year that Sayda Zaynabur Al-Dulan, her sister passed away. Her sister Ruqya passed away in the second year of the Hijra. So after this victory of Badr, the Prophet ﷺ lost his daughter. And everyone in Mecca is celebrating and they feel his pain, but the only person that really, truly felt it with him was Sayda Fatima Al-Dulan. The conquest of Mecca happens and she loses her sister Zaynabur Al-Dulan. SubhanAllah. In the ninth year, SubhanAllah, they end up losing Muqtum Al-Dulan. Just so much sorrow happening in the life of the Prophet ﷺ. And she is the one that is there helping him pick up the pieces every single time. Towards the end of his life, SubhanAllah, he's ill and everyone's coming to visit him because he's ill and she goes to his house and he whispers something in her ear and she cries. And he whispers something else and she smiles. And Sayda A.S. is describing this. She said, I've never seen someone smile through sadness like that. And she asked her, what did he say? She said, I can't expose the secret of the Prophet ﷺ. But after the Prophet ﷺ passed, she asked her again, she said, what did he say? She said the first time he told her that Jibril A.S. used to come every year and he used to read the Qura'an with the Prophet ﷺ and this year he did it twice. This is my end. I'm gonna pass from this illness. She cried. I just wanna note that out of all of the children of the Prophet ﷺ, the worst thing that happened in the history of the month is the passing of the Prophet ﷺ. The only one that could live through it was actually Fatima al-Dil-Lahana. It was part of the mercy of Allah ﷺ for his other children that they didn't have to live through that. And the only one that had the fortitude to actually live through it and survive it that had the spiritual resilience to be able to live through that was Fatima al-Dil-Lahana. And he told her this and she cried. And then he told her, you will be the first of my family to join me. And she smiled. She knew her time was near. SubhanAllah. Six months after the passing of the Prophet ﷺ, she passed away on the third day of Ramadan. Her mother passed away when? The 27th of Ramadan. So many similarities to the other women, al-Dil-Lahana. I wanted to point out because her children, Sayyidina al-Hassan al-Dil-Lahana, when turmoil started, upheaval started to happen in the ummah. Sayyidina al-Hassan al-Dil-Lahana was known for his eloquence and he's the one that brought the ummah together. He healed this rift after the death of his father, Ali al-Dil-Lahana. And afterwards Sayyidina al-Hassan al-Dil-Lahana, who was SubhanAllah, he was known for his stutter. There was a moment where he comes to speak to the Prophet ﷺ in the masjid. And you know how everyone all of a sudden goes quiet? And this little boy is talking to his grandfather and he starts to stutter and he's struggling to get it out. And the Prophet ﷺ saw how everyone looked at him. And he said, there's a stutter that he inherited from his uncle Musa, Ali ﷺ. Few people spoke truth to power like her children. Sayyidina al-Hassan al-Dil-Lahana spoke truth to power. I know this is a dark place in Islamic history but SubhanAllah, the moment where Sayyidina al-Hassan al-Dil-Lahana and the men of the family of the Prophet ﷺ are killed is because they said spiritual authority will never be subservient to the political authority of the time. What they preserved for the ummah till the end of time, she was an educator, she was a stateswoman that raised educators and states people that were willing to give their lives for the message of the Prophet ﷺ. And after he is killed, her daughter Sayyidina al-Radiullahana becomes the matriarch of the family of the Prophet ﷺ. And they bring her into the court of the person that killed her family. When Sayyidina al-Hassan al-Dil-Lahana when they told him like there's so much of this happening. And he says, my sanity, like my calm is knowing that this is all happening unto the merciful eye of Allah ﷺ. It wasn't, hey, I'm in this fight and I'm angry. They sacrificed for Islam and they did it so willingly. And after she witnessed her brothers, her sons, all of the men in her family except for one, be massacred. She walked, they bring her into the court and they tell her, what did you see today? She said, I've never seen anything from my Lord that wasn't beautiful. The family of the Prophet ﷺ being part of the family of the Prophet ﷺ meant that you carried a heavier burden than everyone else. Fikr-wise, they can't receive zakah so that no one till the day of judgment can come and say that his family benefited from it. They're actually disadvantaged by being part of the family of the Prophet ﷺ economically. Not disadvantaged in any other way, SubhanAllah, it is an honor to be from the lineage of the Prophet ﷺ. The Prophet ﷺ, there's so many hadith where he says, I'm reminding you of my family, the family of the Prophet ﷺ. There's this unfortunate idea that the Shia love the family of the Prophet ﷺ and the Sunnis love the friends of the Prophet ﷺ. It's a Muslim thing to love everyone the Prophet ﷺ loved. Family, friends, may Allah bring us all with them on the day of judgment and agenda with all of them. They all love the Prophet ﷺ. That's what bound them all together. Do not ever let anyone tell you that someone else says, oh, it's part of them to love so and so more. No, if the Prophet ﷺ loved them, we love them. And these stupid divisions that people put in the ummah so unbelievable. If someone says, I love Allah and his Prophet, I love them because they love Allah and his Prophet. We should never let anyone divide us, the family of the Prophet ﷺ is honored. Until the day of judgment, a lot of them, I'm from Egypt, so say it as I love Allah and one of the narrations is that she's buried in Egypt, which the Syrians might fight me over it. But it's an Egyptian, I just want to say it's Egypt just because the legacy of Sayyid al-Fatima, is the emotional labor of carrying people including her father, and I just wanted to end with this because I know that part of the legacy of these women, we had a session with Dr. Donald Austin, who's a professor at Rutgers University. She was talking about the women in Malcolm X's life. Did you know it was his sister that converted to Sunni Islam before him? Do you know it was his sister that had him transferred to a prison that had a library so he could read? Subhanallah, the labor that women do. Dr. Bedi Shabaaz is the one who actually carried on his legacy. The youngest daughter recently passed away, I think within the last week, Allah al-Rahman, women do emotional labor to love someone that society says is not valuable and should be unlovable is an act of resistance. When we talk about building community, consistent kindness is how we build community. Our love for each other is not, oh, a fun added thing. This is the foundation of what our relationship is in hopes of one day meeting Allah's Panathala and when on the day of judgment of like, oh, I loved your people because they're your people. Subhanallah. May Allah continue to fill our hearts with love for each other and allow us to enter into Jannah with ease together. Salam alaikum, rahmatullah wa barakatuh. Salam alaikum, sisters. Salam alaikum. Yeah, don't you ever forget this. I noticed the four speaker, actually the five speakers. He did not respond well. Who knows? Where is Maryam? Where is Maryam? When you are, and this is the words of your creator and mind, it's not mind, it's not someone's opinion. When you are greeted, wa idha huyitum, when you are greeted with a greeting. As-salamu alaikum is a greeting. And what a greeting? As-salamu alaikum, is the greeting of the people of Jannah. And there is two orders here. One is an order, the other one is a recommendation. Fahiyu bi-ahsani minha. Respond, it's an order. It's not my choice. Respond better. I say, as-salam alaikum, peace be upon you. Don't say wa alaikum, wa alaikum as-salam, wa rahmatullahi wa barakat. Don't forget this. Our duha, minimum is to respond. So there is, I don't know, maybe we are close to 100 in this room. Maybe I heard 10 voices. Don't do that. You miss the focus. The best thing I heard today, may Allah reward you outside the Sousa, which we miss all as women, is the focus. The focus, we are distracted. You're shattered. We go right and left. Anyone say something, we go. Stay focused. And after I listened to all the speakers, I said to myself, what I'm gonna say? Subhanallah, but I need to bring you to reality. We lived in since the morning, since 11 o'clock. We've been living in the past. And I always say, and Allah is my witness, I wish I was at that time. I wonder how these people didn't believe. Can you imagine? Ar-Rasul alayhi s-salatu wa s-salam in front of you. Sayyid al-Khalija, Sayyid al-Fatima, Sayyid al-Aisha. What struggles they had. But we are his beloved. They are his companions. You know the hadith. Ashabi, we are the people who are loved to him, provided we deserve that title. So let's come to reality. We live in 2021, almost at the end. So how many of you are out of town other than me? And I know, okay, so some of you are out of town. Majority are California. So Sunday, we are in November 28, 2021. I'm not living with Sayyid al-Fatima. I'm not living with Sayyid al-Khalija. I wish I am. No, I'm either a student and I'm going tomorrow to the college and Allah knows what I'm gonna see without going to the details, right? Dr. Amina can share with you what she sees every day at Stanford. Or if you are like me and Dr. Aranya, tomorrow we're going to work and we're going to reality. Or if you're going to home, you're going to reality with your children and all the struggles of raising children in this day and age. Am I correct? So what do we do? Have you ever asked yourself this question? He put me here. He did, he chose, and he is who? Capital age. He chose me or he chose for me to be in 2021. He could have easily made me with the Rasulah of As-Salaam and breeze. Even the difficulties I'll breeze because he's going through it, alaihi s-salatu wa s-salam. But that's not his choice. And everything Allah choose, this is the first thing if you're gonna write anything as a woman. It should be every human being, specifically woman. Anything Allah choose for me is the best. There's no other answer. I like it, I don't like it. It's hard, it's difficult. It's may Allah forgive me for this word that we all say it's unfair. Why me? It's khair. Then next question is gonna come. What does he expect from me as a woman? That's why the title, the Muslim woman. Are you, and I'm asking everybody, are you, I need an answer. I want an answer clear. Are you the Muslim, are you a Muslim woman? Absolutely. Now the next question, are you the Muslim woman he wants you to be? The like of Fatima of 20, may Allah be pleased with her, of 2021. The like of Sayyidah Khadija of 2021. The like of Sayyidah Asya 2021. And like the Sayyidah Maryam of 2021. Yes or no? I didn't hear an answer. You're all right. We're not. Why? Have you ever asked yourself? Why? What is the difference? You need to ask yourself, that's how we change. Unless we know reality, we will never change. I can claim whatever I wanna claim, but he knows my reality and he knows your reality. Why I am not? And all the speakers, may Allah bless them all, eloquently explained to you, they did not live easy life. They had all the challenges we had. What is the difference? Can anyone say any word? What is the difference? And what is Allah said in the Quran about this? Qalu shagalatna, who can finish it? Hiya Maryam, amualuna wa ahluna. They say we are busy with our children and with our wealth, homes, career, how much we have in the bank account. She has bigger home, I need to do the same. She just bought this, the purse competition, I call it. So sad, but it's reality. Purse competition, shoes competition, home competition, children competition, we're busy with this. They had all this, but they did not allow it to move them away from Allah. Refocus, exactly the words that Sheikh Hassan just said. I keep reminding myself every morning, number one, who are you? And I'm gonna give you one by one. Number one, I and you and every creation of Allah from al-jinna wa al-insa, on this earth, we are here for one reason, and what is that reason? Wama khalaqtu al-jinna wa al-insa illa liya'budun. I did not create ins and jinn, Allah said this in Surat al-Dariyat. But to worship me, worship me is a loose translation. It's a very loose translation, because when I tell you what is Ibadah, what is worship, what are you gonna tell me? What are you gonna tell me? Fast, praying, go to Hajj, Alhamdulillah, I work hijab, what's wrong with me? That's not it. That's superficial. Al-Ibadah, act of worship, it's everything. This is the whole amount of scholars that defined it differently. The one I'm gonna share with you is the definition of Imam Ibn Taymiyyah. And it's very practical. We don't have to be scholar to be Ibadah for Allah. In fact, most of the real Ibadah for Allah, majority were not scholars. They know Allah. Al-Ibadah, act of worship, everything, everything. Allah loves, loves, and like. I'm sorry, he loves and he's pleased with. He loves and he's pleased with. Look at this. Internally and externally. So I'm not with people something and when I'm alone I'm something else. Internally and externally, from words and action. Words and action, one more time. Everything Allah loves and pleased. Internally, externally, saying and actions. Then you are the servant of Allah. Then I am the Faltima of 2021. And I am the Khadija of 2021. May Allah be pleased with them. And a Sayyida Asya and a Sayyida Maryam. If I follow this, if I follow this from the moment I open my eyes to the moment I close my eyes to the last breath he's gonna give me. If I live with these six, then that I am who he wants me to be wherever he will put me. As a mother or a motherless. As a child or a childless. As a professional or taking home or staying home. As a student or not. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. This is who you are. Or who he wants you to be. Are you? That's the question you have to ask yourself. Every moment. Since morning we are here. Were you a Ibadullah? Inshallah, yes, ya Rabbi Amin. But have I shown him and I've said and did and act and prayed in every way he loves and pleased and pleased with? How many times let me ask you this question. When you want to do something, the question inside you, what people will say about you? Will this person will be happy? Will that person will not be? True or false? True or false? How many times you ask this question? Are you happy with me? Are you happy with the way I am? With the way I dress? With the way I speak? With the way I respond? Do we ask ourselves this? Do we? Honestly, do we? You want to be the Ibadullah? You want to be the Sayyid of Fatima of 2021? Work on your relationship with Allah, SubhanAllah. That's number one. And let me take you through what he said about the Muslim woman in the Quran. Do you know that? Do you know Allah described us in the Quran? Not by name. But what does he want from me? Yes or no? Absolutely. Unfortunately, we read the Quran. Ramadan is coming. And some of us have memorized. Some of us understand that where is the practice? Number one, you look at yourself as a woman. You are two parts. You are external. The way I look, the way you look. And there is internal. Only he knows. Let's take the external first. I'll leave the best for the last. What does he want me to look like? Not the way he created me. I have no choice in this. How does he want me to look like? What did he tell me? Qullil mu'minateen. Yaghdodna min abasarihin wa yahfadna furujahun wa la yubdeena zeenatahun illa ma bahraminha And then he goes on. wa la yubdeena zeenatahun illa li ba'ulatihin wa aba'ihin God is surat al-noor. The light. And he's saying, first he said it to the man. This is one of the times where Allah swt separated the order. One for man, one for woman. And came to the woman, say to the believing woman, you and me, do what? External. I'm gonna tell you what he wants from me. You say to yourself, check it. I do it. I don't. And if you don't do it, say why? Number one, lower your gaze. How many of you lower their gaze when they are talking to the opposite gender? Muslim or non-Muslim? Don't show me hands. It's not about you. It's in general. Whether with Muslims or non-Muslims, lower your gaze. Lower your gaze. That's who he wants me. That's what he wants me to do. That's what he's pleased with me. Then I am abduffa'Allah. Then I am Sayyidna Fatima at work. And I am Sayyidna Fatima in college. What do you think Sayyidna Fatima when she was talking to Sayyidna Abu Bakr? Or to Sayyidna Omar? Or Sayyidna Muad? She would be joking. And you know how we speak these days? Lower your gaze. That's the first thing he said. Number two, please forgive me. I don't mean anybody here. What do you wear? What do you wear? What is this focus on beauty external and no focus on beauty internal? And he said it. Well, yadribna bi-khomorihina ala jiyyubin. The ayah that everybody want to translate and explain the way they want to tell me hijab. And I don't want to use the word hijab. I'm going to use proper Islamic attire is not an obligation. Let them say whatever they want to say. Let's meet on the sira'ata. And let's answer Allah that question. Don't show your beauty, period. And always women when they ask me this, I'm sure all of you have heard this question. Can I put, what about the Muslim nail polish? You all hear this question. I don't go through that. I say one thing. He said, don't show your beauty. What does nail polish does? What does makeup does? And then you answer your beauty, ladies. And that's the hardest thing for the woman. One of the hardest things of the woman. When you are in front of that mirror, remember you're a servant of Allah. This remember this and say this to him. Is this is how you want me to go out? Is this is pleasing you? Does this makes you happy? If you hear the answer, yes, go out. If you start justifying it, then you are not Sada Faltima at this time. Or Sada Aisha, or Sada Asya, or Sada Khadija. The way we look, I have no idea why pleasing people and pleasing ourselves is more important than Allah. It's astonishing fact to me. Everybody else is doing it. That's how I hear it. Young and old, everyone is doing it. And I say, what about Allah? No answer. The way you look, the way you look. What do you hear? What do you listen to? What do you listen to? These days with social media and TikTok and everything else, the poison around us. When you turn it on, again ask yourself this question. Is this is pleasing to Allah? Is this is something he wants me to do? Wallah illa illa illahu, and I said his name. Each one of us internally knows the answer. But you justify. You know he's not happy with what you are hearing. What you are listening to, regardless. Three, what do you say? The tongue, what did he say? Thakalatka umka ya mu'ad, is famous hadith about speech. Sayyidna Mu'ad, the Sahabi, the companion, who arrasu alaihi s-salatu wa s-salam said, ya mu'ad imni, I love you. Mu'ad, I love you. Imagine who's that mu'ad. May Allah be pleased with him. Imagine if the Rasul alaihi s-salatu wa s-salam, look at you, or me, and says, ya haifa imni, I love you. Ya Allah, I'll be dead right away. Ya Rabbi, I mean. But doesn't come from vain. Do you see my point? It doesn't come because I am who I am or you are who you are. I have to earn it. And Sayyidna Mu'ad, and he said, ya Rasulallah, are we gonna be taking accountable about what we say? And he asked very simple question. Thakalatka ummukaya mu'ad, he answered, may your mother mourn you, meaning you will be dead and your mother will mourn you. What else will put people into narration on their faces or on their noses, in the hellfire, but the harvest of their tongue? What do we say, women? And I specifically say here, women, because we are more in that aspect. Hammaazin mashayin, Hammaazin lammaazin mashayin binameen. We don't like her, we don't say anything, but our face say a lot. In masajid, I'm not saying outside. In masjid, she comes in and everybody looks at her. And maybe this is the first time she ever comes to a masjid. And we start judging and looking at each other and then start talking. Watch your tongue, ladies. Watch your tongue. Sayedna Abu Bakr held his tongue. Sayedna Abu Bakr, who I and you, he held his tongue and Sayedna Omar saw him. And he said, what is this? He said, hada uradani mawarid. This took me through the path, meaning the wrong path. Jail it, as one of these scholars said. The thing that needs long jail is my tongue. You are a Muslim woman. And you are the servant of Allah. Nothing comes out of this, but what pleases Allah. And sometimes I say this to myself. I wish I can have selfie 24 seven, because there is selfie, by the way. Raqib and Ateed. They are taking selfies of everything we do and say and not do and not say. And just let me hear and listen to what I say. To what I say. La khaira fi kathirin min najwaam. Allah said this on Surat An-Nisa. There's no good in what, in most of what they say. Listen to this. Most of what they say has no goodness. La khaira, illa three. Amara bi sadaqah. You say something to promote charity? Any charity, not necessarily money. Illa min amara bi sadaqah or ma'roof. Goodness. Our Islam has been announced. Or you bring people together, rectify relationship. See what we say. Someone comes to you and said, she did this to me. Most of us do what? Most of us do what? How many of us will respond and say, maybe she didn't mean it. Maybe you misunderstood it. Maybe it came the wrong way. What do we say? Really? And what did you answer? If I was you, I will not talk to her anymore. Don't do that. Your tongue, your tongue, your tongue. The way you look. The way you look externally and the way you look, use your eyes. The way you use your ears and the way you use your tongue. The way you conduct yourself. Please forgive me. We live in a society. I'm a working woman. And I know how difficult it is to practice what I'm saying. But wallah lathia illahum. The only one who can help you is him. And you can do it. Absolutely you can do it. If you focus on it and you want to please him and you turn to him every morning, make me do what pleases you. But make me say what pleases you. And don't let me go to myself. La taqlil niya nafs yatorfa ta'i. Don't let me alone with me. How do we conduct ourselves with each other and with the other gender? Masjid outside Masjid. Hayaa. You know this word? Bashfulness, humbleness. The way you speak. The way you walk. Allah said it in surat al qasas. And it's about a woman. Fajaa atu ihdahuma tamshi'a ala stihyaa. And there's a reading they say ala stihyaa in qalat. When she speaks, and this is in surat qasas, the stories, when Allah swt mentioned Sayyidina Musa. Just before he married one of the daughters of Sayyidina Shuaib. She came to him. Woman, you have an opinion. Say it, you're right. Don't be shy. But be shy in the way you say it. She came to him, this is a woman. This is a daughter of a prophet. She came to him, Sayyidina Musa. And she said, come on in. My father is inviting you to thank you for what you did for us. But how did she say it? Ala stihyaa. Allah said this, go back to your Quran. She talked to him with humbleness, with bashfulness, lowering her gaze. She was not shouting. She was not walking in the Masjidu. Hi, how are you? How is everybody? And everybody has to hear what I am saying. That's not the Muslim woman. The Muslim woman, you know how I describe her? Very strong, very pious. Is the combination of the four you heard this morning. From each one, lower your gaze. Dress properly. Walk and talk with Hayat. Don't worry about with other people. I walk in my work, you know what I say? Allahumma khffalli qawmi fennahum lay'alamu. Ya Allah, forgive these people. They just don't know. That's what the Rasul of Islam used to say. When he walks between his people and they don't believe. They just don't know. And part of it is my fault because I'm not showing it. I'm not practicing it. Don't be like everybody else. Be who you are. In fact, who Allah wants you to be. Who Allah wants you to be. And the last but not the least is who are you internally? Will you be described as a Sada Maria? How was she described in the Qur'an? There's no other description. Subhanallah, twice. Wa-lati ahsanat farja wa-kanat min al-qaniti. The one who protected and guarded her private part. And she was of those of al-qaniti. Al-qanat is the person who is in a complete submission to Allah. Complete, not wishy-washy. Complete and always in a state of worship of Allah. Connection and submission. That's the Sada Maria. That's who she was. Are you when you're driving your car? I'm not saying when you are in the Masjid or in Ramadan. I'm saying 24-7. You're driving your car going to work, dropping your children. Are you Qanita? Can you be? Have you ever thought of this? Of course you can. If you are alone, do you contemplate on especially living in this beautiful state? When you're driving, do you contemplate on the things around you and look at the beauty of Allah? You're Qanita versus traffic? When I'm talking to my friend and Allah knows what I am saying, then you missed it. Then you missed it. Spiritually, spiritually is what we need internally. This connection of Allah, friend of mine just asked me the other day. And she said, how can I always remember Allah? I said, he's around you. He's around you 24-7. We are distracted. He's there. Look at this, look at this, look at this. What did Allah say about this in the Qur'an? Anybody can answer him? What did he say about that? Anyone, say it. Don't be scared, say it. But what did he say specifically about the drinking water I gave you a hint now? Do you see the water that you drink? How many bottles of water do you see a day? How many times do you drink water a day? Do you think of this verse? So what do you know it? Do you see the water that you drink? Do you see the water that you drink? Allah is asking a rhetorical question. No answer. Did you send it down? That's what he said. I'm not a Muslim. Or we, him, subhanah, and then he gives you a statement that by itself is enough. If we will, we have made it ujaja. Better. Felaulatashkuru. Why you are not grateful? If you live this way in your life, in case you wonder, how do I get there? How do I become that woman? We are all talking about since morning. In every part of your life, in every minute in your life, connected with Allah, in every minute in your life, connected with Allah, you're eating, you're cooking, you're shopping, you're driving, you're tired, you're exhausted, you're stressed out. Everything is not going well in your day. What do you need to do? Be that Qanita, be that Sayyidina Maryam, go to your room alone. In your Sujood, cry to him and say, I can't take it anymore. You are the one who's going to make it easy. Then you are Sayyidina Maryam in that moment. And the last, and I'm going to end up with this because I want time for questions and answers. And Allah swt said this, as Sheikha Sousan said this, that Allah swt, when it comes to ibadah, the real act of worship, he did not differentiate at all. He actually specified and separated. And I want you to memorize this ayah. It's a long ayah. Memorize it, it's worth it. It's in Suratul Inna al-Muslimina wal-Muslimat. It's in Suratul Ahzab. Alhamdulillah, you know it. I'm going to say one by one and I'll translate. So you learned it. I don't know the number. Inna al-Muslimina wal-Muslimat. Verily, the Muslim man, the Muslim woman. Separate, this was the answer to the question of Sayyid al-Muslamah. There's different opinion about it but this is one of them. Now look at all these descriptions. He put descriptions and see where do you score. Inna al-Muslimina wal-Muslimat. The Muslim woman, the Muslim man, the Muslim woman. Quick question, what is a Muslim? The five pillars we all have. Really, the Muslim, you and I, when we submit to Allah, submit to Allah and everything. You came late, you planned it very well and you had the car and you looked at the GPS and everything was perfect. Guess what? You came in and you took the wrong exit. Muslim, you submit to the will of Allah. You don't say why I planned it, you're not a Muslim. The real word of Muslim I'm speaking. Inna al-Muslimina wal-Muslimat. One, and he separated here. Wal-Mu'minina wal-Mu'minat. The believing man and the believing woman. You believe in the six pillars but you believe that what before you will never miss you. And what miss you will never befall you. You're a believer when you wish for your sisters, what you wish for yourself. You're a believer when your neighbor is safe because you are his or her neighbor. Look at the real picture of Iman. Don't, I always say this to myself. Don't narrow this deen, don't make it too shallow. It's way deeper. Inna al-Muslimina wal-Muslimat. Wal-Mu'minina wal-Mu'minat. Now, Wal-Qanitina wal-Qanitat. Sayyidah Maria. The one who is spiritually connected to Allah, submitting to Allah, asking to Allah. Three and four. Inna al-Muslimina wal-Muslimat. Wal-Mu'minina wal-Mu'minat. Wal-Qanitina wal-Qanitat. Wa s-sadiqina wa s-sadiqat. Those who are truthful, man and woman. Truthful in two things. Look at your tongue again. It's truthful in what you say and truthful what you do. You say, ya Allah, I love you. We all say that. You know what he says to me? Show me. Show me the love. And the moment the choice comes in between what pleases him and what I like or what pleases him and what people like, what happens? Which choice we choose? Of course the other one. Sadiqin, those who are truthful and then wa s-sadiqina wa s-sadiqat. Those who are patient. And not patient only because you're going through difficult marriage or because you didn't get what you want. Sometimes we have everything, but we are bored. I need to be patient. Sometimes I'm sick. I need to be patient. Sometimes I don't get what I want. I need to be patient. As-sadiqina wa s-sadiqat. And then wa l-khashi'ina wa l-khashi'a. Allah divided in this verse. Every act of foreshad. Khashi'a is different than Qanat. Khashi'a, when you are in your salah, like that Sahabi, if there is a fire in the Masjid, he didn't move. You're with Allah, Subhanahu wa ta'ala. And then he comes to the acts of worship. As-sai'ina wa s-sai'mat. Those who are fasting. They fast, not from Ramadan to Ramadan. These days, take opportunity. Fast, short day. And then wa l-khashi'ina wa l-khashi'a. Those who protect their private part. Hayat. What you dress, the way you speak, the way you interact with the other gender. I'm not saying complete separation. This is not reality. They did not say the Haisha thoughts of the Sahaba. How do you conduct yourself? And then wa l-dhah kireen Allah kathiran wa l-dhah kirat. Those who remember Allah a lot. This is one of the few things in the Quran. Allah said a lot. Where are you from this description? That's the Muslim woman. That's what Allah wants from you and me. Where are we? And why we are not? Don't let amwaluna wa ahluna distract you. Don't let your children. Don't let your wealth. Don't let your beauty. Don't let people distract you. At one point, you will take nothing with you. I just witnessed last week, as I was driving today, I remember the drive. Very dear friend who passed away. And I share this story with everybody because I literally asked Allah, whatever you have given her, when I am dining, give me. Three hours, she is dining. We are all around her. Three hours, nothing was in that home in the ICU, in the hospital. But the dhikr of Allah. None stop. You know, talqeen, when you keep reminding the dying person of La ilahe illallah, this didn't stop. And in between, there was Yasin. And then they said, she's almost gonna go and I was there in the room. Went to her ear, read all Yasin. Are you ready? Tumma ilayhi turja'um. And she passed. What did she had with Allah? I know, I can't say, but I know this woman very well. This is what you need to be. The Muslim woman, and if you think this woman would live a smooth life, you're absolutely not right. All the challenges in the deen, in the dunya, in everything, in marriage, in children, you name it. Before they intubated her, I was there. This is not somebody told me, I was there. She looked at me and says, I didn't pray fajr. I said, do taimum. In the E.R., she did taimum. She prayed fajr, they intubated her, didn't wake up after. And we are fine, and we have no problem, and we just sleep for fajr. And I want to be a Seyda Maria. And I claim I'm Seyda Faltima. I can claim whatever I claim, but the moment when it comes, Allah will show me who I am and who are you. May Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala, and I am gonna tell you what all my teachers used to pray for us. They always used to say, pray for yourself. Koni mubaraka inama kunti. May Allah make you blessed wherever you are. I love this dua. It's actually the dua of Sayyidina Anisa. Jaalani mubaraka inama kunti. You know what it means? Wherever you are, whatever situation you are, there's khayr is gonna come from you, to yourself and to the people around you. Jazakum Allah khayr. May Allah reward Rahmah Foundation. This is beautiful. May Allah accept from all of us. It's a beautiful day. We spend it all remembering him, Subhana. Remembering these blessed women. May Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala give us little bit of what he gave them. Ya Rabbi, I mean, just he looks at everybody, everyone in a minute and he say, all of you are Maryam. Ya Rabbi, I mean, all of you are Sayyidah Fatima. Ya Rabbi, I mean, ask him. He is the generous, he's Al-Kareem and he will never ever let us down. SubhanakAllahumma wa bi hamdik. Ashad wa la ilaha illa anat. Astaghfiru kawatubu da'ik. Salallahu ala Sayyidina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahabih tasliman kathiru. Allahu akbar. JazakAllah, Sayyidina. What I was going to say before Dr. Haifa started was that she's an obi-juayan and the sheikh, which is so important. And not just Mashallah because of what she did in terms of her studies, but in the benefit that she can bring us as a community and I myself have sent her questions. There's times where you need some questions answered and you need to know, is this, do I pray? Do I not pray? Is this bleeding? What is it? I don't know. And Mashallah, just to have her as a resource in our community is such a blessing. So she founded the Jannah Institute. You can take more classes with her. We look forward as the Rachma Foundation to do, inshallah, more programs. This is your third time here? Third time. We're getting, we pull slowly. We slowly bring them to California, show off our sunshine and then the rest is with Allah, inshallah. So alhamdulillah, I wanna invite all of our speakers up inshallah because we have questions. All right, so alhamdulillah, the online team who's been working to help our online viewers sent me questions, so I'm gonna start there because they have patiently endured our breaks and such. Their first question, which is a very common question, do you have book recommendations to learn more about these beautiful women who we spoke of today? And I'm assuming they want English book recommendations if you can. Just simply, I'm answering, may Allah forgive me, just because we finished last year a whole class. It was a whole year class at Jannah Institute where we covered first is the, we call it the pearls around the Rasulullah, so we covered the women around the Rasulullah, including his wives and his daughters. There's more than one book. For those of you who read Arabic, one of the most beautiful, and I'm sure you know it, is Bint Shata, Dr. Aisha. It's called Sayyidah to Baitin Nubuwa. It's in Arabic, Sayyidah to Baitin Nubuwa. It's not translated, right? However, there's a very common, very good books, actually. Woman in Islam, it's written by Dr. Tarkh Swaydan. Very easy read. This is, for those of you who don't know much yet, just you wanna read, very easy, nicely written. I think it's written originally in English because you can tell. So it's called Woman in Islam. That's one. Sayyidah to Baitin Nubuwa is the second one. There was a woman around the Rasul, alaihi s-salatu wa s-salam. I didn't find it as a book, but you can, hopefully you can find it, meaning PDF, but not a real book. There's a lot of resources about that. I recommend for all of you to start with. Start with The Woman in Islam by Dr. Tarkh Swaydan. It's very easy read and will give you a lot of the idea and please forgive me if I'm gonna add a little bit. It's not to read a lot. Read with depth. Read as you really wanna know who's this woman. You know, we gave you like just a little bit today, just like a little bit examples. Go in depth, spend hour or two with every page and feel it and then Allah SWT will open it for you. The next question is specifically about who to study with. And I think one of the amazing things that we have before you, we have many organizations present today and all women. So you're safe wherever you go on this panel, alhamdulillah. So maybe if you, I'm just gonna pass the mic. We'll start with, we'll start from my right because you're on my right. And then we're just gonna, where you teach and how people can best contact you if they want to see what you're doing in terms of teaching. Assalamu alaikum. I have literally nothing to add. I mean, these are literally teachers. I'm so embarrassed to be here. I have a class on Swiss, which is looking at the Ahadith and Ayat that women have frequently asked about relating to women. And then there is also projects I'm working on. Inshallah, they're gonna be released next year, but that's the only one that you can access online. I'm gonna source that now. Assalamu alaikum. Alhamdulillah, I just moved here in August. So our halafa on Stanford campus, so if you're on in the area, it's every Thursday at 6.30, as long as the quarter is in session, inshallah. We're actually covering the CEDA, which is really exciting. I'm really excited that you're there. Alhamdulillah. Sorry, there's some Cal Berkley and Stanford rivalry going on up here, inshallah. Okay, alhamdulillah. Mashallah, the Rahmah Foundation welcomes everybody, inshallah, for you all to join us. The halakas are on Friday nights. They start at 8 p.m. They have been for the last couple of years virtual. Inshallah, there's a possibility if it works out, inshallah, that we might have a hybrid model starting in January. For those of you who've been part of the halakas, we meet in that conference room right there, inshallah, every Friday night. So we hope you'll come back and join us in person again. And for those who aren't able to, we'll continue to do them virtually as well, inshallah ta'ala. That means also the girls' programs, please make du'a because for about, I don't know, 10 years nonstop, we've had girls' halakas as well, parallel with the women. So we hope, inshallah, those will resume. Be'at minna, with your du'as. And then Rahmah Foundation recently also started their halakas on Clubhouse for those of you who are on that app, too. So make sure, inshallah, that you're following either on the Zoom or on the Clubhouse, inshallah, for our halakas. We also have a lot of classes on the website. If you are looking to take like a full series or something very focused, you can go to the website, all of it's free, and you can take a whole course that way as well, and I wanna forget the website. And then, where do you teach? Who are you? She's everywhere now, inshallah. Alhamdulillah, As-salamu alaykum everyone. So, Jazaki Rahman, thank you, mashallah. You understood the assignment, you got, alhamdulillah. So I teach here at MCC, the last Thursday of every month, alhamdulillah, we have a sister's halakah open to all. It's a total open-door policy. I actually do it only monthly because I know we have so many time constraints. It's hard to do something consistent. You're free to come and go as you like. Marhaba. I also have Clubhouse that I'll be starting new sessions actually this coming week. I'm doing two classes, alhamdulillah, by the permission of Sheikh Hamza, which are the purification of the heart, the diseases of the heart, as well as agenda to change our condition. Both of these, he's translated and written, both of those books. So those are on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It's on Clubhouse, so it's very simple. If you don't have the app, I personally, I know I actually saw some social media related questions. Social media, as we know, is a very dark and toxic place, generally speaking, but there are some, what I call like light or lamp posts, some places where there's some light. Clubhouse can certainly be one of those. I know Mashallah Sheikh Al-Mariam does TikTok and Instagram. She's amazing. She's everywhere. Give her tawfiq and bless her. Olahi, I am so comforted when I see her in these spaces because she is a huge lamp post. But on Clubhouse, it is a space, it's a safe space. So I welcome all of you to look into that. It'll be starting this Tuesday and Thursday. Pacific Standard Time, one o'clock on Tuesday and on Thursday, four o'clock, inshallah. That's all. Assalamu alaikum. We have Juna Institute. Some of you, I know, are taking classes with us. There is two ways you take classes with us. There is the Quran, we call it the Quran Department, where you can memorize or learn Tajweed, Arabic or in English. And we have one Tajweed in Urdu. Then we have the Islamic Studies, where we have been running classes for years now. Alhamdulillah, just this year, we started in September, Year of Knowledge, which is a one-year program that every Muslim woman should learn. And we covered five topics, which is science of the Quran, fiqh, hadith, taskia and aqida. We are about to finish our first semester, starting inshallah afterwards. If you wanna join, email me. The team will kill me, but that's okay. But you have to, all our classes are online, subhanallah, because we know women, it's not very easy for them. So everything is online, and then they are also recorded. All the books are online, and we teach traditional way. You read the book. We read the book in the class, and we explain it. And also we have our free Tuesday program. Some of you, you probably know this. It's on YouTube every Tuesday. We have Tuesday program. Most of the speakers here were actually guests. We tried to have once a week or once a month or twice a month guest to speak to a woman, and the others, I do it. We tackle different topics. This is what I will say at the end. You want to learn, Allah will open it for you. And this is exactly how I was advised 20 years ago. Ask Allah sincerely. You wanna learn, but put this next to it. It's not an easy journey. He will test you in every step, and you have to keep going. Be consistent, be sincere, and He will open to you without you knowing where to start. Salamu alaikum. I've been away for 30 years, and I'm here on a short visit only. But I do wanna say that Subhanallah, it is something that really gives me, I mean, it's a coolness to my eyes and a pleasure to my heart to see after 30 years so many Muslim scholars and knowledgeable women doing all this Dawa work. Alhamdulillah. JazakAllah. JazakAllah. Couple of questions about dealing with oppressive family where they're not allowing women to be treated as they should be treated as Muslim women. So they've heard, you know, you say wonderful things about the rank and status of Muslim women. What about when the experience at home with family or at work or with friends is not that way. What should be the response? JazakAllah, very well said. I'm gonna ask, add one thing, I was praying to say it, but now Allah made me remember. This is saying to, they say it's to Imam Ibn Hatal, secondary. Your place is where He put you in. You know what that means? So if He put you as a wife, that means He wants you to be serving Him, Him, not your husband, as a wife. No, I really mean this. If He put you as a single mother or a single woman, that means you are His servant in that status. So abusive, and a woman come to me a lot about this. I have only one line. I said, where are you more pleasing to Allah? Inside this marriage or outside this marriage? If you are more pleasing to Allah inside this marriage, meaning you can take it, you are absolutely patient and you look at your Akhirah then you stay. If you are not, even if there is not really a lot of abuse, she just can't stay, then absolutely leave. Exactly what Sheikh Hassan said. Put Allah number one in your formula. Difficult parents, that's the toughest one. Because this is, there is no plus and minus, mafiha, it's in the Quran. Wa qadarabu ka'Allah ta'budu illa ya wa bil walidani ihsanah. He made, He put it together. Allah had decreed, you worship not but Him and treat your parents with excellence, ihsanah. And then He specified, because you know when it's gonna get tough. In my ablughanna indaka al-kibar, ahaduhma al-kirahumma, when one of them or both, get to the old age. And you know how difficult it is with an old age parents, especially these days. Falata kullahumma uff, don't say uff. So what do I do? It's very difficult, sister Haifa. I say, turn to Allah. Say, yam yassir yassir. Ya Allah, you are the one who makes things easy. Make it easy. Do you think He will not listen to you? He will. Have this relationship. Cry to Him, run to Him. So there is choice and there is no choice and Allah will make things easy. The microphone has to go here. I have a happy question. Okay, good, alhamdulillah. This one? Yeah, this one. Because this is an online question. Sister Julie and sister Lisa are asking, how do I become a Muslim woman? How am I to dress to come to the Masjid for the first time? How do I convert? So if you are in the East Bay, we welcome you to come and see Stada Hussai, who's here, who will meet you anytime, day or night. If you are, yeah, so just let us know, message us and we can connect you to somebody where you are. We can virtually meet you now. You can, we'll put anybody you want before you. Dr. Haifa will come in person. We are happy to welcome you into our community. There's no special uniform to come to Islam. Exactly. Just the heart, right? It's ready, if you're ready, we are welcome. We are welcoming you to join our community. Isn't that a happy question? Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Yeah, keep the questions coming. Let's see, I'm trying to find another happy question. So we gave each of you a stack. If you can look at your stack and do an overall answer kind of with your questions, we'll go all the way down. Yeah, we'll start with you. We'll go all the way down because we're hitting up on Madab. Okay, so I had a few questions that were related to rebuilding a connection with Allah. This kind of summarizes the themes of those questions. What are realistic baby steps we can take to getting closer to God when you feel terrible about your spirituality, effort, and your relationship to God? One of the important things that I think many of us underplay is how much individuals can impact how we feel about ourselves and our relationship with Allah, so if you are as a child, we're constantly hit to read the Quran. Or maybe you had a teacher who spiritually abused you in some way and Dr. Rania is the expert on this, may Allah bless her. When you have a relationship with Islam that started with parents who used hellfire to threaten you to get you to go to bed on time. Like when Islam has been used in these ways, which is not from the revelation, it's not from the sunnah, to teach Islam in these very literally painful ways, a lot of times as an adult, you can have an aversion, may Allah protect us, to prayer, to da'a, to Quran. And I've encountered so many people who ask me this, like how do they process wanting a relationship when the beginning of the relationship started with a very painful experience? And the first thing to recognize is the fact that you want a relationship speaks to how strong your love is for Allah, that despite what you've gone through, you haven't said Islam, that Allah protect us all. I've met many people who have made this statement that they don't want to associate. I mean, the fact that you want to is a sign of the strength that you want your e-man to be, you want it to go in that direction. The second thing is realize that sometimes we project the way that we feel about ourselves onto Allah's panawata'ala. So if I don't like myself, if I loathe myself, if I can't get over a sin, I committed five, six, seven years ago, months ago, weeks ago, and I'm constantly making toba and I can't even imagine Allah's panawata'ala for giving me. And so I assume that because I hate myself so much, that's how Allah's panawata'ala sees me. So then I've met people who say that they feel embarrassed to pray because they don't think Allah's panawata'ala would want them to pray because they're not righteous enough for prayer. For every type of worship, someone has said this, whether it's Salah or Hijab or walking into a masjid space, versus Allah's panawata'ala keeps telling us that anytime we go back to him, we are sincere in our repentance, he accepts and he forgives and that we do good deeds to wipe out the bad. So realistically look at yourself and think about where does this feeling stem from? Some of us are really just caught up in life. We're caught up in life, we're impacted by social media, we're just caught up in the dunya, that's very human. But for others, there's some reason why. Examine what that is for you and work on healing yourself from a spiritual place with the help of Allah's panawata'ala. So what that looks like is A, for example, working with a Muslim therapist if you've actually gone through trauma. The second thing is creating new experiences with worship. You don't let someone who raised you or who, not raised you like a parent, but like maybe they were your Islamic school teacher, someone who when you were 13 who did something so horrific you never told anyone, they don't get to say whether or not you're gonna pray when you're 27. Don't give them that power. You have the power by Allah's panawata'ala's will to choose to pray today. Don't give anyone that level of importance in your head when Allah's panawata'ala is the one who can help you overcome everything. So you choose it's gonna be your relationship with Allah's panawata'ala and you build new experiences with that relationship. So let's say when you used to read Quran, it was in a very particular room. Choose to read Quran on the beach. Read Quran at a cafe. Read Quran taking a hike. Re-establish new experiences with the Quran so that your brain makes new neuronic experiences with that worship and make sure you have very consistent worship. Obviously we have Salah and we have the Fura'il. But beyond that, number one, read the Quran every single day. I didn't know Arabic. I read it in English. The Quran changed my life. Changed my life in English until I learned Arabic. So every single day, take a certain amount in whatever language you can understand. If you can read Arabic, do it. Even if you're super slow, do it every day. One verse, five verses, one page, consistently. That's the first thing. The second thing, there's a very beautiful book on Seerah. It's called Muhammad Man in Prophet. Peace be upon him. It's by Adil Salahi, A-D-I-L-S-A-L-H-I. It's like over 800 pages. But it's so beautiful about the Seerah. I really recommend going to that book for the Seerah. And for a Quran translation, I recommend Mustafa Khattab. Dr. Mustafa Khattab has a beautiful new translation, masha'Allah. And the third thing is work with mentors. Find sisters, mentors, sheikhat that you can study with. Because a lot of times you're gonna go to a random Islamic website to ask about a woman's question. And you're gonna walk away from there going, how do I process that answer? Instead, seek mentorship with real people who have institutes. You can study with Dr. Hifat. Like, how honorable is that, masha'Allah? With Asada Hussai, with Ansi Sosen, with Dr. Rania, with Asada Amina. These are women who are really here if you're here to support your process, insha'Allah. So make sure that you know that you don't have to go through this journey alone. And that any time you doubt yourself, remember, if you doubt yourself and you wonder where are you with Allah, it's because you care about Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala. So now, what do you do? You reevaluate yourself. I'm here, what can I do to get to a higher place until you reach that place? What can I do to get higher and higher and higher and shall listen to the physical? Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala, it's really hard to talk after people that are your heroes. I don't know. I literally know who you did. Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala, it could be fine. I don't know. Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala, I don't know. Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala, but following up on that, one of the questions, unfortunately, says, what do you do when you feel unworthy of God's love? You are worthy, you are worthy, you are worthy. These aren't my words. This is the Prophet, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, telling us this. When we talk about the angels, it's scary. You know what, if you're an important person, there's people that write everything you do? Allah created angels to write what you do. You are so worthy. Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala, I remember going to a session and I remember the scholar saying, Allah loves everyone. Some people realize it and some people don't. The question isn't if Allah loves us. The only question is if we are able to realize Allah's Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala's love. Allah's been feeding you, he's been clothing you, he's been giving you people that love you since the second you were born. How can I now come and say Allah doesn't love me? Even those who disobey Allah, Allah feeds and closes them too. Allah loves you, that is the default. Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala, I think we also make it so difficult of like, oh, I need to do this. And one day I'm gonna learn Arabic and I'm gonna memorize the Quran and then I'm gonna get it. You know what you should do? Make dua'a, just ask. You're asking the creator of the universe. There's nothing that he can't do. Just ask. And that dua'a, we can dua'a Mughal-e Ibad, that it's the essence of all of our worship, everything you're doing, the essence of it. Ask Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala, there is no barrier. Why are we creating stupid barriers? There isn't one. Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala tells us if you walk to me a hands length that come to you an arms length, you come a arms length, that come a yards length, you come to me walking. I come to you running, just go. Just ask Allah. And every step you take for the sake of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala, it's not a matter of like, oh, I need to do more. No, it's a matter of quality, of focusing. Someone was saying with all the distractions of 2021, what can I do? This isn't, they're always been distractions. Like the Muslims, they became Muslim under literally threat against their lives. Alhamdulillah, it's so easy for us. All we have to do is ask. Just ask Allah. Ask with sincerity of like, yeah, Allah bring me closer to you. What's the path? Which way? Yeah, Allah pointing in the direction that pleases you. And be honest, follow that path Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala. There was, sorry, there was another question just about Sayyid al-Faltima al-Rabbi'in Ummi Abiha. We talked a little about motherhood and the reason we talk about this is this is the most obvious example of love that we witness as human beings. And sometimes your mother is difficult and you end up in therapy for years. I don't wanna discredit that. But as a general rule, when you see a mother like her baby is throwing up in her and she's like, oh, isn't this the cutest thing in the world? Like motherhood is mind boggling. SubhanAllah. It's that depth of love that she gave to her father, Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and she gave to everyone around her. It doesn't necessarily have to be a blood relation. I have like, there's so many, alhamdulillah, there's so many both men and women in my community where I'm like, I think you should do this with your life. I think you're great at this. And I'm so grateful that they take it from me. Like who's this crazy lady that's telling me what to do with my life? Alhamdulillah. But part of that love, I'm gonna, sorry, I'm gonna end with this because it's one of my favorite stories from this year. The Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam during the Hijrah, there's a moment where they're trying to pass their guides telling them like, mind you, like they're during the Hijrah. So if you'd like, if you capture them, you and your family are gonna be rich for the rest of your lives. And the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, they're trying to go around a place and their guide tells them, we can't go through the crevice of the mountains. There's two thieves that are right here. This is their spot. So the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, oh, that's people I can talk to. So he goes between the crevice of the two mountains and he starts calling out to them, saying salams. You can imagine the two thieves are confused. Like, you know we're here and you're, what is happening? And they come out and they talk to the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and he asks them, what are your names? And they say, nahanu almohanan, where are the two lowlifes? I thought they were calling themselves lowlifes. That was the name their tribe gave them. That's how bad this was. And the Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, bal'antumaan mukraman. No, in fact, you are dignified. And he speaks with them and he tells them, I'm going to Medina. Join me in Medina. They stopped thieving and became sahaba. This is what this love does. It sees your potential and says, how can I help you get there? You are in fact an incredible creation of Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala. Do not ever let anyone belittle you. Both in the community and out of the community. I want you to know, I got kicked out of my fair share of Masajid because if you come and tell me, women can't pray here. They're like, I'm like, oh, here? Allahu Akbar. Yell at me when I'm done. Because my Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, you're not allowed to ban me from the Masjid. Also, there's this a lot of time and I can't miss it. So yell at me when you're done. When we look at these women, you wouldn't push them for the sake of Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala and they'd be like, oh, I'm gonna give up this space. If it's for Allah, they're gonna do it no matter what. Subhanallah. May Allah accept from all of us. Sorry for taking so long. Allahu Akbar. Mashallah. Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim. The number of questions that are here are mostly related to mental health and things related to, not surprisingly, Mashallah, but things related that are very important related to either depression or anxiety or feeling disconnected or feeling like we don't know how to reconnect, feeling like Eman is low, just summarizing the various things we have here in this pile. And one thing that I wanted to share, and I said this during the talk, and I said, I'm so excited that one of my own teachers, Anas Asosan, is here, Subhanallah, because there are so many lessons that I personally have learned on this topic here and I'll answer, I'll come to this in just a moment. But one thing that I shared, and I just wanna remind us, I mentioned in the talk that when you feel that there's something really heavy and it's really difficult, the question often when you go to the teachers of spirituality or teachers of Dean, they often will ask, what have you done about this so far? And the answer isn't necessarily step one, two, and three, those are there in practical and important, but it's also, have you made dua? Have you talked to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala? The people close to Allah would say, if it really is that big of a deal for you, then it's something you get up in the middle of the night and pray about and you make your tahajjud and you call out to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, otherwise is it really all that big of a deal, right? And we talked about how the Prophet, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, would go little by little by little, increasing, increasing, increasing until it became large amounts of time, closer to the prophecy, before he got in Nubuwa, to Ghad Hira, to do what? To contemplate, to do that, to fakkur, a contemplation. People like to use the word meditation, we have our own word, which is called contemplative meditation, right? Kind of connecting with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala. And all of us have that. All day, we spent here today, Masha'Allah, together, all of us together, we happen to be in the masjid, often we're in these conference rooms or other rooms as women, and we recommend the concept of ertikaf, the concept of that spiritual seclusion, having that time alone with Allah, what I learned from Ansai Salsan, was so beautiful, this concept of the pressure cooker, which is that we all, for anybody who's used the pressure cooker, Ansai would tell us, that there is that valve that allows the steam to go out. And if you don't have the valve opened, what happens to the pressure cooker? It explodes. And I remember in my own grandmother's kitchen, there was this huge thing on the ceiling, because once she had a pressure cooker that exploded, one of the old time ones, and she was terrified of it, would never use it again. And every time I would hear Ansai say the story, everything to myself, yes, if you don't have the valve to let the steam out, you too will explode regardless of how good or not good things have been. Even good things cause you to be tired and fatigued. And that pressure cooker valve is the Atikaf. It's the time you spend in isolation when we'll also panel to Allah that you spend alone, that you beseech Him and call to Him and connect with Him. We don't have that many people who do this because I know in every time we've been in that conference hall and we've talked about Atikaf, and I've asked the room full of women just as much as this room and more, how many of you have made Atikaf in your life? Let's see. Yes, a little look, a little look, a little look. The hands are more because Wallahi in years past, it would be one hand, two hand, three hand out of 100 women. Now we're seeing Mashallah more hands because this concept has become more well known that a woman, not just a man, should also be doing this Atikaf, this kind of spiritual connectedness with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Wallahi, these are some of the roots of how do you pick up your Eman again? One of the questions was how do I pick up Eman again? Talk to Allah. Anything that's important for you, you make time for it. Right? You want that degree, you want that job, you want your kid to do this, you want that, you want this, you want that, you want to lose weight, you want to work out. You make time for it if it's important to you. Is this connection important to us? That's the real question because from there then we can build. And the rest of the question, this is where I'll wrap up, insha'Allah. The rest of the answer to the question is about what do I do if I'm feeling depressed? What do I feel affect, feeling anxious? What do I do if I fill in the blank? Connecting with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is where we start the conversation. But do you remember the second thing I said about the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam? That he had that connectedness with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala when it was heavy, he went and isolated and had that time to really rejuvenate. But then what else did he do? He asked for help. He confided and sit in a Khadija. He went to her and said, I think I'm going crazy. He went to her and said, I'm scared. He went to her and said, I don't know what to do next. And as somebody who was able to have the wisdom and guidance, she helped guide him in that. But so many of us, we keep it in, we keep it in, we keep it in, we keep it in. And then like the pressure cooker, we explode. And then that affects us and our children and our children's children. And it's a cycle, a vicious cycle that just doesn't end. So insha'Allah ta'ala, those are the beginnings of the steps, insha'Allah. There's many more from there. But those two will get us very far and they're a direct example of the sunnah of the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Takbir. Welcome, how are you? I'm doing that. Tuzakum lau firan. I have just a few questions here that were related to topics that are similar to what I cover in the classes I was mentioning, the purification of the heart and agenda, which are any tips on seeking validation only in Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala. Very difficult to do this age, day and age, unfortunately. How do we embody beauty inwardly and outwardly without becoming prideful, vain or arrogant, so relating to spiritual diseases? And then other questions as well, relating to not caring about what other people think, like really prioritizing Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala. And I think as I would have answered this in one of the classes, I would have said we have to focus on really self-purification because the day and age that we live in is so focused on the external. And as I mentioned in the talk, this is a really toxic message that deduces women to just an object. It's objectification, it's exploitation, it's devaluing, it's taking away everything that Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala has raised us with and just focusing on the part of us that is going to go into the ground and literally be worm food. So we have to know better that the soul that resides within this case, the shell of a body that we all have is far more important to beautify. And that requires mujahed and nafs, it requires the tasquia process to actually cleanse yourself and struggle against yourself. We mentioned this, even Dr. Haifa mentioned the dua, that تكلي إلى نفسي ترفى التعين. Don't leave me to myself even for the blink of an eye because we have to know that self works against us. Understanding that the external pressures are actually not as, don't focus on those. If you focus on those, it's very hard to manage. But if you look inwardly and say, I have to reconcile myself, right? My nafs is working against me. My nafs is riddled with disease, I have to start cleansing. And you don't, as our martial law physicians on the stage know best, you have to diagnose which is why as Dr. Haifa mentioned, you have to ask those questions, like why am I not doing certain things? What is the barrier? What's preventing me? So if we're worried about whether it's prayer or again being vain and having pride and arrogance, you have to get to the heart of, what is it that, where's the root of those? How did that start? And then also know how to identify those diseases, right? This is why learning the topic of tasquia is a big part of our tradition. We have to go back to that. Learning what the spiritual diseases are, applying the remedies that are offered to us by our great scholars of the past and present. And just being in the practice of those things. And then as well, being in spaces like this, masha'Allah, with other women, so you don't feel alone. Shaitaan, this is one of his tricks, which is also another part of this, understanding that Iblis is the other major threat, enemy. We have the nafs, that's the greatest enemy. Then Iblis, then Dunya and Halaf. You know this as, I shall not call it the access of evil. It's the four evils that we are all, they're always orbiting us and they're always either around us, we have to recognize them, but working with those two especially, the nafs and Iblis, knowing how he works, what's his playbook? How does he get into it? So when you read, if you don't have the book agenda, the Sheramzah and Imam Zed have outlined what they refer to as the eight inroads of the spiritual, of the heart, right? What are the access points that Iblis gets us to? The first one is prayer. Because if we're not vigilant about our prayer, then obviously he's gonna come in. He's gonna have full reign. He's gonna fill you up with a lot of thoughts and a lot of ideas and just destroy, plant those weeds to destroy that spiritual garden of your heart. So you have to be very mindful of the prayer. And then what is it? Your eyes, your ears, your tongue, as was mentioned, insha'Allah. All of the beautiful reminders we heard today. Your hands, your feet, your private areas, your stomach, all of these are inroads. That's how Iblis gets to us. So if you don't know how to be vigilant, how to guard those, you don't understand spiritual diseases, then yes, we're gonna unfortunately accumulate disease the same way a person who doesn't watch their diet, who doesn't exercise, who isn't mindful of their time, starts to accumulate physical diseases. So it's all very, very similar, but those are the general answers I would give to all of these. And once you shift your focus as mashallah and say, Sosan reminded us beautifully, focus is so key. If you don't have your focus on Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala and you're worried about people and numbers and followers and friends and trends and being popular and being accepted, then you're gonna have a very difficult time. But if you shift that focus to Allah and start working on really healing yourself from within, insha'Allah Allah will give you tofeeq bedanillah. And just briefly, because I forgot to mention this in the talk and it relates to something that Dr. Aminem answered in her question regarding, does Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala love me? We were reminded many times that there are so many people in our history that are nameless, right? We don't know their names. Like the woman who swept the masjid, right? In the time of the prophecy, I said, I mean the prophecy was almost very upset that she had passed and they didn't tell him that she passed, he wanted to pray over her. But we just know her as the woman who swept the masjid or the hairdresser, right? And asya's story, this hadid just, Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala when the prophecy, I said him, was experiencing the Isra'ul Meraj, okay? He's on the greatest ascent, right? I mean, he's literally, this is the highlight, the peak of his experience, right? I mean, in that moment, he said, a smell came to me, he didn't know the smell and he asked it, he said, did you believe, like, what is that smell? Where did that come from? And he said, that is the fragrance of the hairdresser, of this story of Asya. Her fragrance is in Jannah, it's throughout Jannah, he smelled it. She is significant, so a lot of times shaitan makes us feel small and invisible, but we have to remember, it doesn't matter if people know you and I am sure I can speak on behalf of everyone here, just because, you know, you have a public name or a public persona, this is insignificant. Does Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, am I prioritizing him? That's all that matters, that's it. And if you do that, you are known to him, he loves you, and you'll confirm that for you, but don't look at things from the lens that this dunya teaches you to see, that your value is only placed in your external, your beauty, how much wealth you have, how much money you have, whether you're married, whether you're children, insignificant, right? Insignificant, it's all about Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and as I said, you know, there may be many of us who, you know, in the future no one will know us, but insha'Allah Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, he of course knows us, he made us, so insha'Allah Jazakum Allahu khayr and I'll pass the mic back a little bit. Jazakum Allahu khayr, salam alaikum. There is questions different, but I'm gonna cover the woman prayer because that's something, it's very surprising that we're still in the United States where Masajid are open to the woman, we don't live in a country where it is not and still some women don't know that the woman can pray in Jama'at and I'm not saying about you, I hear this all the time, there's two opinion about that, there is one opinion that says the woman does not pray in Jama'at and that's absolutely respectable opinion, I say this all the time, who are we to judge these scholars? And there is the other opinion that says, yes, the woman absolutely and the woman lead them and say that she used to lead the woman, so if you are of that school or that other schools, you're absolutely fine and the other one which is really, I'm glad it was us, can we pick up the child during Salah when he's crying? My answer, please do, because you are annoying the Muslim and this is harming the Muslim is a sin. Absolutely pick up the child and I think you mentioned it in the story of Sayyidna, Sayyidna Faltima, he picked up Al-Hassan al-Husayn, he prolonged, al-Isra'at was said and prolonged his Sajda because they were on his shoulder, so absolutely you can do that. There was a question came in like Sheikh Maryam spoke about Sayyidna Maryam, is she a prophet? There's a different opinion about that, the strongest opinion she is not. Remember, Ibn Huzam is a Zahiri school, again without going into the technicality of it, it's a school where it goes exactly what the Qur'an say, just the external meaning. That's what it's called, al-Zahiri. But the stronger opinion that she is not, prophets were only men. And there is the answer, why? You know why? Because Allah said so. Done. Learn this answer, ladies. When people ask me why you wear your hijab, my answer is Allah said so. I don't have to explain it. Of course I will later on for other reasons, but number one, why do you fast? Allah said so. Why do you lower your gaze? Learn this, teaches you submission, teaches you to be al-Qanitin, Sayyidna Maryam. So that's one, there's two very strange questions where I have to say it. Someone told me, and I don't know who told you that. When children do ibadah, or any good or bad deed, listen to this one. As-Sawab with S, which means thawab, reward, goes to the father, not to the mother. La ilaha illa Allah, la hawla wa la quwwata illa Allah. Why is that? The reward will go to whoever taught that child. A mother, a father, both, an aunt, a neighbor. Whoever, ad-Dahl al-Khayr, kafa'ilah. You lead, teach people to do good, they will get it. Don't let people put this in your mind. Lower the style, I don't know how this even, now. Look at the next one. Ad-Al-Ata'ah, when we sacrifice animal, do we use mother name or father name? Who are you sacrificing for? You put them, yeah, but are you sacrificing it if you're doing Qurbani, not in Hajj? Are you doing it for somebody else? Then you put that name. There's no need of a mother or a father. I think I answered everything. The last one, am I okay? We talked about status of woman in Islam, how Allah subhan-ta'ala elevated the woman as equal. This is a very important question. Why there have been such disparity between the status of man and woman in history and even today? Who said so? Always ask this question. And you mentioned it beautifully in your talk. Karamna bani Adam, number one. Allah elevated the status of a human being. That's why I get so offended, I have a cat. When somebody look at me and says, oh the mother of the cat, I was like, I want to be like that. No, I really mean it because that's very common culture. And I was like, no, Karamna bani Adam. Human being are elevated. You're a human being, you're elevated. You're honored, that's number one. The status of man and woman, it depends what you are looking. Culture, that's not deen. Learn to separate. There is things that man does, woman doesn't do in deen. Yes, the hikmah, there is wisdom, there needs another whole program about that. But as Allah elevated your status as a mother, I say this all the time. Does the man feel inferior because you're a mother? Why do we feel inferior if we don't do things the man does? Did you get my point? Don't let this go into you. You have been elevated status by Allah swt. Number one as a human being. Number two as a woman. Mother or not a mother, but in general, in his own way subhanah. And we are equal in the reward and what we are going to be asked about. Happy news update. Sister Edelund who is in charge, I believe of Convert Care here at MCC has contacted Sister Liz and Sister Julie. Sister Liz is in Oakland, Sister Julie is in Sacramento and I think they've taken their shahadas by now because it's been some minutes. Oh, wow. So, so, alhamdulillah, it's always nice to end a program that way. I wish they were here. Yes, I wish they were here so that we can hug and kiss them and give them all our love and ask for their du'a as if we're still listening. Subhanallah, remind me of the hadith of the Rasul, alayhi s-salatu wa s-salam. La yahdi, la hubika, rajoulan wahida. Khairun, lakam, alhumur, al-niyam. To Allah guide through you one person. He said this to Sayyidina Ali, way better than all the herd of a red camel which is very expensive these days. May Allah reward everyone who put any effort in this. This is not because of the speakers on ya'udubillah. No. This is because of the idea. Number one, Allah's tawfiq. Number two, the place, the board member, the Rahma Foundation, Jemna Institute, the speakers, but most importantly, you and I will end this. La'u Zakiqum Allah is the sattq fi talabillah when you are sincere and pleasing Allah see what He gives you. Did we expect this? Did we came to plan this? Ya'ftaah lakiq. He opens to you from where you don't know. Have this faith and see what one does. If He guides through one day these people, He will guide your children and He will guide many other people. Rabbi lakal hamd. We need to do sajda shukr at the end for Allah's tawfiq. I have one more piece of happy news, masha'Allah. One of our dear local teachers, Anseni Hadz, some of you may know her, masha'Allah, is currently in Medina Munawwara, currently visiting the Prophet, sallallahu alaihi wasallam, and was messaging with Sister Sabine earlier and knew that we were gathered here and so she relayed salam to the Prophet, sallallahu alaihi wasallam directly to, on behalf of us directly to him, sallallahu alaihi wasallam. May Allah bless and increase in Allah us all to be joined there, inshallah, next time gathered there visiting him and visiting, inshallah, that baka, sallallahu alaihi wasallam, ala Sayyidina Muhammad. Alhamdulillah. If you want to partake in the planning of this event, all you have to do is take your chair and put it back in the conference room and you are an organizer of this event, inshallah, taking the blessing of the shahadas and the knowledge that was imparted today, but we are going to do closing dua and then maghrib, inshallah. This is your long-awaited prayer. Marima, you are good in dua. They are in front of you. In the name of Allah. I asked, yes. This is your teacher. Yes. In the name of Allah. This is for you. I am not good, I don't do this in public. Thank you. Alhamdulillah, Lord of the worlds. Alhamdulillah, Lord of the worlds. Alhamdulillah, Lord of the worlds. Alhamdulillah. blessings upon your beloved and our beloved. Allahumma salli wa sallim ala nabiyyina wa habibina Muhammad. Oh Allah, Subhanahu wa ta'ala. And to the kidding, you're the most generous. Wa antal-mujib, you are the answerer. Ya Allah, antal-latif, you are so subtly aware of every single one of us. Ya Allah, you know why every single person came here today. You know why any person is watching this day. Ya Allah, you know the needs of the hearts of every single one of us. Allahumma, answer our needs with more than we've ever thought to ask for and in better ways than we know for us. Ya Rabb-ul Alameen, for our dunya and our Akhir-a-ameen. Oh Allah, Subhanahu wa ta'ala. Ya Allah, Allahumma, ya Allah. Please do not let a single one of us stand up from this spot, except every single one of our sins have been completely wiped away. And ya Allah, not just us, but every single person that we love, even if they don't know you, ya Allah, bring them back to you, Ya Rabb-ul Alameen. Oh Allah, please let every single one of us and everyone we love say the Shahada and the Moutia Rabb-ul Alameen. Allahumma, any of us who has lost a loved one have mercy on them, enter them into the highest paradise by Ghair-i-Hissab and honor us with meeting them at the hold of our beloved, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. Oh Allah, make us of the Ahlul Quran. Make us of the people who love it, who live it, who cherish it, who nurture it, who teach it, Ya Rabb-ul Alameen. Oh Allah, any woman here, any person who is dealing with abuse in their families, whether spouses or children or parents, whatever it is, ya Allah, facilitate the way for them. Oh Allah, open the way for them. Allahumma, ya Allah, you know what they're going through more than anyone else. Ya Allah, facilitate the best way for them and open the way for them, ya Rabb-ul Alameen. Allahumma, those of us here who are sick, anyone of our loved ones who are sick, ya Allah, in this moment cure them miraculously, ya Rabb-ul Alameen. Oh Allah, please honor us with visiting your beloved house, ya Rabb-ul Alameen, and let us accept the da'wah there, ya Rabb-ul Alameen, to Mecca, to Medina, and to Mashal Aqsa over and over and over in our lives. Oh Allah, insur ikhwanana fi kulli makin, help our umma everywhere and the vulnerable everywhere. Oh Allah, make us of the people who are sincere to you and any da'ah, ya Allah, that we forgot to make in this moment, please answer it for us anyway as you know what is best for us, make us of the people who are written to be of Ahlul Firdaus Al-A'la, bi ghayri hisab, wala sabiq al-A'lab, ya Rabb-ul Alameen. Allahumma, ya Rabbana, you told us, ud'ooni, as the jiblakum, you told us, make du'aat to me and I will respond to you. You said, ya Rabb-ul Alameen, that you answer the one who calls when they're calling, Allahumma, la tarudda na khaybeen, do not turn us away, ya Allah. If you turn us away, where will we go? If you turn us away, where are we going to go? So, ya Allah, answer us, answer us, answer us, ya Rabb-ul Alameen, until kareem, until mujeeb, ya Ar-Rahman r-Rahmeen, answer us. Be pleased with us and be pleased with everyone we love, ya Rabb-ul Alameen. Subahana rabbika, Rabb-ul Azizat, ya amma yasifoon, wa salamun a'lam mursameen, wa l-hamdulillahi Rabb-ul Alameen. Wa salli allahumma ala nabina, wa habibina Muhammad, wala alihi, wa sahbihi, wa salim, amin. Allahu Akbar, al-hamdulillahi Rabb-ul Alameen, wa-hamanir-waheem, malik yawm-iddin, iyakana abudu wa iyakana sta'een. Ehdina s-siratu al-mustaqeem, s-siratu al-lathina an'amta a-layhim, g-eirin wa ja'la fiha s-irajaw, wa huwa al-lathiyy ja'la wada shukura, wa-ibadu r-uya yamshuna ala al-aumi hauna, wa-eza khatabahum wa-l-yama, wa-l-lathina yakuluna rabbana s-sirabajahannabajahannam, in mustaqahu l-iman hamidah. Allahu Akbar, al-hamdulillahi Rabb-ul Alameen, ar-wahmanir-waheem, malik yawm-iddin, iyakana abudu wa iyakana sta'een. Ehdina s-siratu al-mustaqeem, s-siratu al-lathina an'amta a-layhim, g-eirin ma-g-dubi a-layhim, wal-ad-daa, s-subahana al-lathin, as-raa bi-abdihi l-aylam min al-masjin al-haram, il-al-masjid al-aqsa al-lathika, wa-kna hawlahu l-inuriahu min aayatina, innahu hu wa-l-samee'u al-basir. Wa-ateina mousal kitab wa-j'alnaahu hudal i-bani isra'ila alla, alla tattakhidu min wa-kina, zuriya ta-man hamalna ma-anuha, innahu kana abadan shakura. Allahu akbar. Sami Allahu niman hamida. Allahu akbar. Allahu akbar. Allahu akbar. Allahu akbar. Allahu akbar. Sami Allahu niman hamida. Allahu akbar. Allahu akbar. Allahu akbar. Allahu akbar. As-salamu alaikum wa-rahmatullah. As-salamu alaikum wa-rahmatullah. All right, as-salamu alaikum everybody. As-salamu alaikum. What a mubarak day. Really blessed day. We're so happy to have you with us, Lisa. Mashallah, I'm going to just talk a little bit, kind of shock, kind of talk our way through, and shout a lot a little bit. So we're going to say, inshallah, the declaration of faith. But before we do that, just a couple of things, because I always like to make sure that if there's any questions we can answer or anything we can kind of help clarify, because it's usually after a person says the shahada, you'll see, which is the declaration of faith, you'll see that there's just a lot of hugs, a lot of excitement. And sometimes things get lost, Mashallah, and all of those hugs. Two things? Two things, okay. Excellent. Is this going somewhere? It's like standing. Oh. That's why it should have been you. And so I did want to ask if there's any specific questions that I can help answer first, but really any of our two teachers. I want to acknowledge, Mashallah, that it can very well be overwhelming. And this is a marathon. It's a long, long journey. This is just the start of an amazing, amazing, amazing chapter. Thank you, celebrating too. To celebrate, Mashallah. And so I'd like to just make sure that we kind of remind ourselves, actually everyone here. And in fact, what I'm going to ask everybody here, it's not just Lisa who's taking shahada. What we ask for everybody who's here is that we actually all renew our faith together. Every single time there's an opportunity to, it's a beautiful thing for everybody to actually renew faith, Mashallah, and to kind of renew that commitment. So this, what we're going to be basically saying is, as you probably know, Lisa just kind of explained through what we're going to say together. It's the declaration that there is no God but Allah. The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, sallallahu alaihi wasallam, is his final messenger. And from there, that simply enters a person into the faith. It is a simple declaration and subhanallah person immediately comes into the faith. Well, follow is can feel, of course, overwhelming because there may be different steps and rules and things, but my suggestion for you, my humble suggestion, inshallah, is to take things one day at a time and to build. To allow the building blocks to happen, layer upon layer upon layer, and that might take a little bit of time. Hopefully, inshallah, with the group that we have here at the MCC, there's a new converts kind of welcome group, which is really wonderful. And there, I think, kind of figuring out what are the priorities from there, inshallah. So I guess I'm saying all of this just because it can feel very overwhelming and it can feel like a lot of rules all at once and I don't think that's the point. The point is actually to have that deep connection with God and know that He loves you and always has loved you and this is kind of a, in many ways, coming back to a declaration that was already said many, many, we believe as Muslims in a different stage of life where we all already had submitted our will to God and in many ways, we're refinding that at this moment. So with that, I would no further ado. Where's Bessam? Do you want to come closer to? Yes, you're sure? We're so happy to have you with us too. All right. So I'm going to go ahead and say the Arabic slowly. I'll have you repeat, inshallah, and then we'll say it in English as well. Okay. And everybody please, as we say it, we'll ask all of you to say it as well. What we basically said is that I declare that there is no God but Allah. Would you like to say that with me as well? I declare that there is no God that there is no God but the one God Allah and that Muhammad and that Muhammad peace be upon him peace be upon him is his final messenger is his final messenger inshallah My dear sisters, please give Distur-Liza your love and du'az. Thank you. You know why I'm jealous? You all have to be jealous of Lisa, right? Why explain it to her? Because the person who comes to Islam anything and everything before is gone. So you're coming like a newborn baby. We all have a lot of baggage. A lot of things we have to explain. So that's why we are jealous. And I'm going to make a du'a for you. May Allah keep you strong. Ya Rabbi Amin Sayyami. Keep you strong. And teach you and make you a leader for everyone including Sayyaf Biyami. Give her a big hug everybody. And before you do that on behalf of the MCC we wanted to offer you a small gift. There is a box here. The microphone still doesn't like me. Called Being a Muslim and I hope inshallah that helps and of course the flowers for you and may Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala allow this clean slate in this new beginning to be one of a beautiful journey and hopefully in sisterhood with all of us. Amin, my turn for haqqah. Thank you. And thank you to my husband. I've been thinking about this for a really long time and I actually grew up in Oman and then I moved to America when I was 18. And so the religion has always been with me not necessarily in a practicing way but I feel as though the time has come and it's been a while. I think my husband actually told me about it. Did you expect that? See Allah used you. Yeah, that's since 11. What was the point that hit you? I have to know this point. I really mean it. It's a mix of stronger. You know, it hits granted. What was the moment they said?