 so yes my fertility but two are adopted from Haiti so they were born out of my heart so it's kind of like spiritual fertility so whatever you know I'm so excited to be with you all tonight he's just here do you feel it he's here in your midst that worship was powerful what we declare with our words bring power what goes forth with our words so we are saying these we're not just singing beautiful melodies or beautiful songs we're declaring truth into the atmosphere it says the word of God does not come back void it comes back and it changes and transforms us who we are we become what we worship so when we have these times of worship that is time for transformation for us let's just soak that in I love the part that I get to do tonight because I get just to tell you stories about my life I don't have to give you like deep theological thinking which is very good for you all you know and so the church says the church listens to the people listen more to witnesses and they do teachers so all I can tell you is my witness and how real God is to me and just how personal he is to me and I'm gonna try not to cry I'm just a crier just don't take offense and I promise I won't do like the bubble snot so I hope I don't but anyway we'll just go with it and just move on and so just really talking about just the power of God and how he is personal but the whole thing is I am doing something new God is always inviting us to more the Holy Spirit is always inviting to more he is never stagnant he's always moving us and he's usually always making us uncomfortable that is why we need a comforter because God is moving us from glory to glory and changing us and transforming us and sometimes it is good and brings glory sometimes it's painful and brings refinement but he's always trying to do more so jump back in I grew up as a cradle Catholic we went to Catholic school yada yada yada my parents were in part of a charismatic kind of prayer group community my brother and I used to make fun of them especially when they were praying in tongues we did this shit about a Honda like made fun of them all this kind of good stuff and I remember saying to myself I will never do that you know where you say I will never every time I have said that that never has come to pass in some way shape or form when it does to do that so I remember when I was about 20 years old I had pretty much hit rock bottom I was designing things working from Nordstrom stuff like that and I had broken up with this boy and my parents had moved down to Florida we were living in Atlanta and I went down there and I really encountered the Lord and it became personal to me so this amazing encounter with the Lord he became really personal to me and then my mom said well I would like you to come and do a life in the spirit seminar and I said okay I will come but I don't really want anyone praying over me I don't want to go out and do not give me the gift of tongues brat just put brat on this forehead you know this is what I was going to do so I even wore a short skirt to the life in the seminar thing so if I had fall over my skirt would go up and they wouldn't make sure that I fall over because it'd be scandalous you know what I mean so I even did that but it did not happen so they prayed over me I fell out in the spirit they put a blanket over my thing so nobody would see anything my mother had preparations and so and then I did not experience the gift of tongue so I was like thank God you know because I was such a control freak because I wanted control I wanted God but only on my terms amen so later that night it was just a powerful experience I felt that energy as like the catechism tells us the Holy Spirit animated my life he illuminated and became re on a powerful way that night I was taking a shower singing like a praise and worship song and I started kind of speaking in tongues because you know you can't you have to participate in it God does you will you have participate in it but one of the other things and this is how sneaky and good God is I love words I also I end up studying literature and theology and I love words and I love books so when I was praying and speaking this language the Lord really revealed to my heart that tongues is a prayer language but it's a pure prayer language this mouth that likes to gossip sometimes lie a couple times embellish maybe some you know was becoming a pure language he was giving me another way to pray another words and it was just a powerful thing it was a gift that I got and it was so powerful and I just loved to experience it but still the control freak in me so this is great and I will experience God and I love that people prayed over me and I experienced the power of God but I want to experience him in the sacraments like that that was fine that's where the Holy Spirit works but I want to experience where no one no one lays hands on me and touches me then I want to experience God's Holy Spirit then and then I will really believe in the power of the Holy Spirit brat and so went to a Steubenville South Conference was a chaperone for my mother she was leading a youth group and it was actually in Alexandria, Louisiana where Bishop Sam Jacobs is awesome and Bishop Sam Jacobs is a good family friend of ours and my mom even told him right over here whatever so we were doing it so we were doing the Saturday night procession and Bishop Sam is bleeding the monstrance out well I was attending to a teenager that was having you know some things go on in her heart and I was really ministering to her and just be present her so Bishop Sam was coming around with a monstrance my back was to him so I didn't even realize the monstrance was coming you know like I didn't even need to kneel all of a sudden I went out baseboard and I look up and I just feel this piece and I look up and I turn around there's Bishop Sam monstrance but it was the power of the gospel and it wasn't about the demonstrative acts or it wasn't about the gifts it was about God pursuing me and touching me it was about God asking me to give up control and it was about God saying what do you think my power looks like when I touch a human being there's wonder and awe there's peace hence that being a beautiful adventure and gift with the Holy Spirit one of the best things about fellowshiping and walking with the gifts of the Holy Spirit is he's always pushing us but there's always more and he's always asking more of us and he's always wooing us fast forward about 10 years later maybe 12 years later I'm really bad with math all these kids you know I mean I could be at whatever this fast forward years later we had just had my fourth child Lily Lily was about three or four months old and an earthquake happened in Haiti I will get to this story I promise okay so I had four six and under and I remember having conversation with my husband saying okay pause let's learn NFP really well for a little while I am overwhelmed I have three in diapers take a break the next week the earthquake happens friends of ours were missionaries down there they called us and told us they came across these two kid a 13 year old little girl and a 16 month little boy those parents were killed in the earthquake did we know anyone in the United States that could take them because they were getting children out for with the relief visas I said no we don't know of anyone right now but I'll send an email out so I sent an email out whatever and then after two or three days of praying God just it was that invitation in my heart and I gave all the excuses why we shouldn't but none of my excuses compared to God's invitation that he was doing something bigger so lo and behold my husband comes home from work one day I'm crying I think we're supposed to be the family that takes these kids is it the woman that just said hold on last week I know but I think so since started the adoption process for the kids in Haiti it was grueling it was exhausting and the process was long we were not able to get them out on a humanitarian visa therefore we had to start the whole process and go again so it was exhausting it took us 18 months total to get them home in that time my husband went down there four times I went down there too I went down the last time right before we would bring them home and it was very hard for me to go home over there to Haiti to see these kids and then to leave so the last time that I went there I was there for five or six days so David who was only 17 18 months at the time you know the first two days I was like building up his trust so he would come to me and whatever so by the time I was left he had come you know trust in me and he loved me and he would hold on to me and I comfort him and then I had to leave and it was heartbreaking and so I remember telling him with our older daughter out game she was 13 so she had some kind of understanding like we're almost done with the process I will be back the lawyers are almost done we're hoping it's only going to be six more weeks at least there was some good thing you there's no reasoning with the 17-month-year-old so when I was leaving back to go home I looked at David I took him separate in a separate place from the orphanage I looked at him knowing that he couldn't understand what I'm saying but I just had to speak to his spirit and speak to him and I got down on his level and I looked at him and I held his face and said you don't understand what I'm saying I have to leave but I will come back for you do you understand me I am not abandoning you I will come back for you and your mother and your father love you and we're moving heaven and earth to get you home where you belong then I handed him off got in the car got on a plane I remember walking on the plane in Port-au-Prince and me and God were going like seriously Lord the stinks you called us to this process and this is heartbreaking how could this be good for you this child that I mean all I wanted him is home in my arms and you have me keep him leaving and it was one of those times where you know that you know that you know that is the Lord because it is so clear in your heart and the Lord felt like said to my spirit he said now you know how I feel about you that I would move heaven and earth to have you in my arms and have you home the spirit gives us the ability to say Abba father like we just sung tonight his love is relentless it will chase the 99 it will break down any wall to get to you the father's love that is how he feels about us and what the Holy Spirit has done through adoption it has it been easy heck no it's probably one of the hardest things we've ever done adopting kids from hard places with trauma it's hard has it been beautiful absolutely has it shown us what the father's love is in ways that I've never could imagine my older daughter has experienced a lot of trauma before we got her because she was 13 and this is part of her story it's about last year there was just some more bumps in the road and I was really praying for her and I was negotiating with the Lord does anyone else do that I like to negotiate and so if you just get her to this point Lord that'll be okay just get her to this point that will be okay and the Lord I really felt like this time he was saying to me like I am like United States I don't negotiate with terrorists and I don't negotiate with you this is how this is gonna go and the Lord convicted me so hard and he said don't bother praying for this if you do not pray for this child's total restoration and healing stop praying small prayers for her stop praying for little crumbs when I want to give you a banquet feast I want her total healing and restoration so stop praying for anything less and then he brought me to the wedding of Cana where Jesus did his first miracle and he said when I provided the wine it wasn't the cheap wine it was the very best so when I provide a miracle I will provide the best miracle so as usually it goes I repented and I said oh sorry and we moved on and just convicted to pray bigger and pray bolder because that is the kind of God he we have now what does it look like I don't know I'm still waiting you know but that is the kind of God we have fast forward to this February sister Miriam and I were actually at a non-denominational conference together and it was an amazing conference and we were the choking Catholics at the conference but it was an amazing conference and while we were there it was very hard not to covet you know what I mean the aesthetics were gorgeous it looked like an anthropology catalog when you walk in the music was amazing the speaking was awesome I mean we have all of this here too but there was also just like a real hunger for mission and discipleship a real activation it was a real just powerhouse and I'm watching it I keep on thinking but we have the Eucharist but we have the Eucharist but we have the Eucharist you know that mantra you keep on telling yourself you know because you're like okay I will not covet so we we end up leaving that first night of the conference and I we are in the hotel room and the Lord wakes me up at 2 a.m. in the morning and it was one of those times where he would not let me sleep and where you know you want to like hit the snooze Holy Spirit button but he's like I was like blaring and he was praying and he was praying and he was praying about the church the Catholic Church and he said she is your mother and you love her but she is the sleeping bride but you cannot prophesize over what you want her to be if you are criticizing her and I will not allow you to bring her to revival if you are critical of her and here reminding me of a principle repentance leads to revival I had to get on my face and repent the ways that I had criticized the church I had to get on my face and repent the ways that I had been critical of my priest and the Lord showed me even attitude towards some priests that I was like an absentee wife in a marriage it says we are the bride the priest is the groom persona Christi but we feel like it is all their responsibility are we not well the priest is not doing this well the priest is not doing this did you hear him doing that is it just me is anyone else do that okay maybe it's just me but seriously and the Lord said you pray for them and you love them and you call out especially and I'm speaking to the women here women in our very nature we are lifebearers that is who we are we come from Eve which means lifebearers we bring life our mouths have the power of life and death and there's something about a mother and a woman calling out what men should be who should they should be that is powerful our prophetic words are powerful to call them into existence but the Lord will not call life and death out of the same mouth so the Lord said well you're a pence and I have and I'm going and it's not easy some days but I'm starting to see he's showing me little glimmers of that sleeping beauty coming to life and I think it's especially powerful for women I'm not excluding the men but only usually a woman gets a bride ready for the bridegroom ready for the wedding feast men usually are off at war sorry have fun but you know but it's our power in our words and it's a power in the thing at the last point what I feel like the Lord is doing and I feel like he's doing in my life and he's stirring also I feel like in the last couple of probably months there's a shift things seem to be getting darker but the spirit seems to be amping up more and the spirit seems to be revealing himself more and the spirit seems to be making himself tangible more and see the Lord is saying I want to do something new so if the Lord is doing something new that means he is going to strip us of the old and the beautiful thing about the Catholic Church is we have these traditions but do these traditions are supposed to root us not confine us so if we are saying the way that we pray or we are saying that we do something a few were saying these words that come out of your mouth but we have always done it this way that's really probably not new wine and the Lord is doing something new so our traditions root us to grow and grow in a different way the fruit is going to look different same spirit same church same teaching but a different fruit so it is going to make us uncomfortable I love what Pope Francis says he said the Holy Spirit makes us uncomfortable but he calls us to move and we want to domesticate the Holy Spirit we're fine as long as the Holy Spirit fits into a box and we can control him but really we don't want that control we want an all-consuming fire we want an all-consuming fire we want fresh wind to do that but that means a lot of shaking that means a lot of repentance that means a lot of refinement but that means a lot of saving that means a lot of salvation that means a lot of restoration and a lot of redemption but they all go together so will we give him the permission will we give him the way to make new wine and new wineskins father Michael Scanlon that man can make me cry was blessed to be at this university I was blessed to be a student here I was blessed to have him as a spiritual director and I was blessed to have him marry my husband and I he used to call me highly favored brat and our spiritual direction I don't know where he got that from the name fat but he would always tell me Michelle ask for the fire it'll burn you at first and refine you a little but ask for the fire he always used to tell me that give the Holy Spirit permission Michelle give the Holy Spirit permission Satan is nice little Boston voice it was interesting after his death this last year it was a great because actually the day that he died it was up to be with Father Dave and actually Bob Bryce we're all at another event together and it was good because I think all of us were kind of like Father Mike's kids and it was good to be together but I remember I had spiritual direction the week after he died and I wish to remember just telling him like that just this loss I knew it was coming but it was lost because he really spiritually fathered me in so many ways my father was not present in my life emotionally and Father Mike stepped in and really re fathered me in so many ways and that is the power of a spiritual father amen just such a gift and I remember my spiritual father I mean my spiritual director saying to me he said Michelle you have greater access to him now than you did when he was in Steubenville and I always love the story Esther Esther is a big deal for me when people have prayed with me and over me it's always Esther so my spiritual director said he's your mordecai now up in heaven and I loved that image but he always said what he created here and what he did here is he allowed the Holy Spirit to have complete permission he did not know what it was gonna look like he did not even care that there wasn't a structure for it to happen he just gave the Holy Spirit and he said yes but what we have now is those little embers those little flames that are burning right now and there's people like Father Mike and there's people like the Archbishop here that have these little flames and they're asking us to put our stick in and allow it to be bonfires and to burn and to get stronger and to go out and to move and to make us uncomfortable but allow us to be on this adventure with the Holy Spirit so I've really been praying into that for the last probably two or three months the Holy Spirit has just changed something I can feel this igniting in you so about six weeks ago I was preaching at another conference actually my diocese and I gave a talk and it was I was a little spicy that talk I would admit yes there was a little spice some fire coming out of my mouth and I came off the stage and this man older man in his mid 70s came up to me and said girl you just have an anointing on you I haven't heard someone preach that long time it's like you know what actually last time I heard someone preach was in Eastern Europe in the late 1990s a fire a fire rally Father Michael Scanlon have you ever heard of him you just preach just like him this poor man I was so hormonal that day sorry man I was so I started bawling I just bawled and bawled and bawled and it was but it was just such a testament it was just such a testament that the same spirit the same fire keeps on going but it's our openness to the same spot fire in the same spirit so this weekend this evening this time is a landmark I just told you three landmark stories in my life but this that the Holy Spirit moves but I really feel like this time in the season Lord that has people here this is a landmark moment in your relationship with the Holy Spirit are we going to give him permission are we going to allow him to make us uncomfortable are we going to allow his let his kindness lead us to repentance are we going to speak words of life and allow the sleeping beauty the church to rise and her splendor that she is supposed to be are we going to be the catalyst or the hindrance because we have a father that is so chasing us relentless with Lee with his love and he just wants us to join him in the adventure amen let us pray sweet spirit we just thank you and praise you that you are God that is relentless we just thank you and praise you that you are a God that goes after the one and leaves the 99 we just thank you that you are God that calls each and every person here by name that you are God that is personal that you are God that moves in power and that you God that illuminates our lives that you have more for us that you are God that has the best provision and the best restoration the best redemption plan that we could ever dream or imagine Lord and all you are doing is waiting for is our yes so Lord allow us to open our hands open our mouths open our hearts and say yes to your Holy Spirit we just say yes to your invitation we say yes to more we say yes to being that catalyst that spark of fire to bring revival not only in our own souls but in our families and our neighborhoods and our communities and in our church Lord have your way with us Lord have your way with us we pray all this in Jesus most holy and precious and powerful name amen