 second grader and a kindergartner. So I have the full spectrum from kindergarten to high school and my high school right now is actually a huge, huge help to me. Such a blessing. She's actually substituting for me today as because I had to leave a little bit early. She substituted in the group of kids that we homeschool and she'll be doing that tomorrow as well. So it's a blessing to invest into your children. It takes a while and it takes commitment and hard work, relentless commitment through the easy and through the difficult. But when the harvest comes, it comes with a blessing. Amen. So another thing I learned from listening to preachers is they always ask you to speak back to them. Now I'm going to try this with you guys. If I'm making sense and if you guys feel that what I'm sharing with you is ministering to you, can you please speak back to me? It would really help a lot. Thank you. Thank you. So personal testimony. I knew at a very young age that I would be used by God to advance His kingdom. And when I received that revelation, I was, I believe between 11 and 13 years old, I literally saw an open vision and I saw God using me. I saw myself in God's hands being used in a mighty way. And after that experience, I had drawn an image for myself of how that was going to look like. Judging from what I've seen, of course, judging from what I've experienced, what being used by God looks like, I began to draw my own image of what that would look like. And so when I was married and began to have children, that image began to slowly fade away because all of a sudden it just kind of, that picture unraveled for me because I wasn't holding my microphone. I was holding two babies on both hips and pregnant with another one. And my husband was out traveling, admissions and preaching. And I wanted him to do that. But here I am at home with piles of dirty dishes and, you know, dirty diapers to change. And I'm saying, Lord, does this really matter to you? Does this really advance your kingdom? Am I really playing an important role? Am I really living out that hall that you showed me? I know beyond a shout or doubt that you had shown me that revelation of who I was going to be and how I was going to be used? Is this really part of that plan? And I, all I heard in response was, just be a mother. And silence from then on. So I said, okay, I will obey. I will be a mother as if all of eternity depended, as if the kingdom of heaven depended on me being a mother. So I changed those diapers and I fed those babies and I washed those dishes as if the kingdom of God was right there in my home. And to my astonishment, the very day that I said, yes, Lord, I will just be a mother that very day that I obeyed and submitted to my great astonishment, nothing changed, nothing changed. God was still silent. I was still changing diapers and I was still washing dishes and I was still sending my husband off to different countries and I was still staying at home. And the next day, nothing changed. And the next week, nothing changed. I was just in the silence, consistently obeying what God said, just be a mother. Just be a mother. At the end of the day, I'd be exhausted. My husband would be late at work. After work, many times he'd meet with the youth ministering to them. I would just fall asleep. The next morning, just be a mother. Just be a mother. My husband would come home after youth, bring some youth home. Just be a mother. Just cultivate that heart of a mother because not only do your babies need a mother, no, that youth that your husband brings home, they need a mother. That community that you live in, they need a mother. And year after year, nothing changed. Heard nothing more from the Lord. Just the same sentence, just be a mother. Took me more than 10 years before I let go of that image of what I thought God was going to do through me. And I said, I'm just going to be a mother, whether God, if God never speaks to me again, I will, to the day I die, I will continue to be a mother in my home, in my church, and in my community. I will manifest every characteristic of a heart of a mother that I possibly can to the best of my ability, and I will be faithful in that. Years passed and God began to speak to me again, and he began to call me out, and he began to tell me and give me instructions. But this time when he gave me instructions, it was beyond my limits. This time when he gave me instructions, I knew I could not do it by my strength. Whereas before I was confident that yes, I can build it this way. Yes, I can step out that way. Yes, I can use this strength and this talent and this knowledge and this wisdom. When God finally spoke to me again, I knew that if God doesn't move, if God doesn't put it together, there's no way I can step out and do it. And it terrified me to say yes. It terrified me because I knew that I couldn't muster my own strength. I was afraid to say yes, but I was more afraid to say no, because I know that God had been working a plan and weaving this together for those years that he was silent. And the moment I said yes this time, I began to see God put things into place and people began to come into my life. And events would just turn in a moment. Things that I thought would take years. In a moment it would just happen. Somebody would approach me and say, I can help you with this and I can help you with that and I'm available for this and I'll do this for free. And I began to see God just move more rapidly and put things in places where they needed to be more rapidly than I have ever seen God move in my life. But in that moment, my character was ready because I agreed. I submitted to just be a mother. You guys, one thing that I just want to make sure that I relay to everybody tonight is this hurting and broken world needs a mother who is ready to embrace the hurting and let them heal in your arms. And sometimes that's going to take some tears of exhaustion on your part. Sometimes it'll drain you beyond your limits. You'll be beyond exhausted, but it'll heal those broken souls. God knows and we all know from what we've seen this year how much this world needs a mother's embrace. Give me a minute just to recollect my thoughts here. So having said that, I just want to kind of lay the ground for what I'm going to share really quickly after this. I'm not here to offend anybody. I'm here to share my heart. What I've learned over the course of these years of mothering and submitting to God's call to be a mother. It's not easy for me to leave my children with a sitter and leave them. It's a huge sacrifice for me. So I didn't come here to offend you, but I didn't come here to keep the truth away from you either. So please accept it from me, from a loving heart. Do not accept it as criticism or judgment. Please receive it as caring, loving heart of a mother. So I'll just go straight into it. Three foundational elements children require, whether you are parenting your own children or you are in children's ministry. Three foundational elements that children require to grow up healthy and strong. Emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. They're very simple and practical, but require unrelenting commitment. Whether you feel like it or not, you commit to doing these three things consistently over a long period of time. The first element is rules of acceptable behavior. You must lay out for the children what is okay and what is not okay, what is accepted behavior and what is not accepted behavior. Children draw their security and confidence from knowing clearly what will be acceptable and what would not be acceptable from knowing right from wrong. If you as a parent and you as a children's minister do not lay that groundwork for them, they are left to figure it out for themselves. They are left in the hands of those who will tell them things that do not agree with the scripture. It is your job, number one as a parent and if you're in children's ministry to lay that groundwork and very clearly to relay this is okay, this is not okay and implement or enforce those rules consistently. Proverbs 22 6, chapter 22 6 says train a child in the way he should go and when he's old, he will not depart from it. It is our job to train up a child how he should live, how he should make his decisions and when he's old, if we have been committed enough and consistent enough even when our child has grown older, he will not depart from that way. Clearly defined parameters require accountability. If you have laid out rules for children to obey and you never call them out or hold them accountable for disobeying those rules, that is not clearly defined rules because they will test you, they will check if you are strong enough to enforce them. If they broke a rule there should be just and adequate consequences consistently. Now I know this is hard to do because I'm a mother and I want to forgive more than I want to deliver consequences. I know especially when they're smaller and their cheeks are still pudgy and their hands are still fluffy, it's so hard but it's for their own good. If we do not mold and shape their character, they will self destruct. If we do not teach them to honor the rules, they will never understand what honor means and they will never understand what it means to receive respect and to receive honor. It's painful in the moment to implement consequences. It's unpleasant for both you and the child but it must be done for your own child's safety and for your own child's success as he grows up. First Kings chapter one verse, I believe it's nine, I might be, but it's chapter one, First Kings talks about David's sons and it talks about Adonai how he assembled a group of men to, he said I will be king and he assembled a group of men to take that position in the kingdom and it says, there's a sentence there that says because David never asked him or never held him accountable for his behavior. That spirit of rebellion is only fought with accountability. A father has to hold his child accountable, a parent has to hold his child accountable. So number two, stability in order. A child needs stability in order. A child needs a regular routine and schedule. He needs to know what's expected, what to expect today because every change that happens in a child's life or in a child's day, the child has to process it mentally and emotionally. He has to readjust and every time a child has to readjust it affects him emotionally. So if you're trying to hold your child accountable to rules and he's trying to adapt to this new change, it's really difficult for a child to obey certain rules at a certain time when his world is in disarray, when there's no stability. So for our rules to make sense to our children we have to provide them stability. That means stability in their schedule, that means stability in relationships, that means consistency in how we apply our rules. One of the biggest, biggest impacts of divorce for children and I'm sorry if there's a situation here, I come from a background of divorce from my parents as well and it's the most painful thing to endure. But let me say this and let me just be truthful and honest with you. If you are in a relationship that, let me say it this way, if you are a single parent, a single mother or a single father, please approach marriage with the counsel of your pastors and choose a husband or a wife that you will be committed to for the sake of providing that stability for your children. That's stability and that consistency for your children is the most important thing you can provide for them. Now if you have to go through counseling and you have to go through healing and forgiveness to keep your marriage, if you have to fight for your marriage, please with all that you have within you, fight for your marriage. That is the most important gift that you can give to your children. Because if your marriage crumbles, your child's world crumbles, if your relationships are hurting and broken, your child's heart is hurting and broken, please accept this as a person who came out of that situation. I'm not trying to insult or offend or speak badly about anybody but please with all of your might and with all of your strength, put everything you can into your marriage so that your children can grow up in a stable home. Amen? So so far implementing rules we have to understand that we have to provide an atmosphere and an environment where we make it possible for our children to know those rules and to follow those rules. We have to provide them with stability and with order. They have to know who they are accountable to and what they are accountable for. And finally I want to say our neither our rules or our schedules will have any lasting impact on our kids if our children do not have our presence. Our children need our presence and our affection, our embrace. If everything else in their life changes from day to day, they have to know one thing. They have to have that one place where they come home and they will know beyond a shadow of doubt that they will be embraced and that they can count on somebody to be there for them. Okay? I encourage everybody who is able to homeschool and there's many many resources that I can share on that topic. But if you cannot homeschool, at least when your child comes home from school, be available, be there for them because he can go through a day of chaos and hurt and pain but if he comes into his home and he knows that he will have his mother there to hear about his day or about her day and to embrace him and tell him you still will do better. You still will have a better day tomorrow and to encourage him and to refresh his strength. All of that will not will not affect him. All of that will fade away. I would even say a child's ability to learn and to remember the concepts that he learns is affected by your proximity, your nearness to him. If you at least sit with your child when your child is doing his homework and these these are not super spiritual things. These are very practical, simple things but if we implement them consistently you will see these results. You don't have to be a math genius to do your homework with your child. Okay? You don't have to be a rocket scientist. You don't have to be an expert English. Just sit next to them. They just need your closeness. They need to know that you're right there. They could probably read through and figure out their homework on their own but knowing that you're next to them and you're walking through it with them makes all the difference. I have I mean aside from raising five children I have friends and we've done a co-op before in the homeschooling program that we have now. I have a pretty good sample size of children to to conclude from comparing parents who are who are available and present but not exactly maybe they might be even high school dropouts. They might not have ever gone to high school even but their presence the fact that they're in the home they're next to them is it makes that difference and I can see that difference between kids whose parents are not available. I can see that difference. They're emotionally unaccountable and education they struggle to learn and they struggle to remember. So not only do we enforce our rules and not only only do we deliver consequences consistently. Our presence says to our children that they are able to receive forgiveness for their wrongs. They're able to receive encouragement and praise for when they do well and even when they don't do well they still receive that encouragement and our presence reassures them when they're faced with uncertainties or stresses in their life in their life. Deuteronomy 6.7 says the Lord is giving instructions to the Israelites as they enter the land that was promised to them and he gives them the Ten Commandments and as he begins to give them these Commandments he says to them make sure that you teach these commands to your children. Talk about them as you walk along the road as you sit with them with your children as you go to bed and as you wake up. My question was always this how do I teach my children the commands of the Lord if I'm not walking with them if I'm not sitting with them and if I'm not spending my day with them. If I'm too busy with building my career if I'm too busy with my social life if I'm too busy chasing after the things that different ambitions that I may have when am I walking with my children when am I sitting with my children. I cannot teach them the rules and commandments that mandates of the Lord if I am not walking with them and if I'm not sitting with them. One thing that I had to learn in in our home was setting the table for dinner. Mind blowing I know I'm sorry but in my home and my mother I my parents I I give them all the honor that the parents deserve she did my mother did all she could as immigrants it was really really difficult for them to adjust in this new culture in this new country. But for us my mom had to work three jobs my dad was trying to adjust with his jobs so we kind of came and went and fed ourselves we always had a huge pot of borscht and a huge pot of plov and Olivier that was guaranteed you open the fridge any day any time of the day any day of the week you always had three big bowls of those three meals okay. But we would just kind of you know grab our food and sit down and feed ourselves we're well fed well nourished but we never really sat down together and for me that was something new that I had to learn so when Savik and I were married he's he's like can we just set the table and eat together I was like why you could just put it on your plane we'll just eat and go on with life you know we got things to do let's go and as the kids began to grow up though it was really difficult because when the kids were smaller they were reaching for stuff and grabbing things and you know one's crying and one just fell off the chair and I had to make it work I had to set the table but as we did this year over year and over the course of time my children began to learn what it's like to sit at a table and to wait to start their meal and to show respect to those who are at the table not to speak over adults and not to speak out of turn and when they got a turn to speak they were listened to that's very important that shows them how to show respect teaches them how to show respect and then with dignity they can receive that respect okay set your table and eat together it doesn't matter what you're having could be Chick-fil-A and some french fries it's okay put on the table put some napkins next to your plate I'm sorry I'm so sorry whatever it is that you enjoy it doesn't matter what's on your plate what matters is that you're sharing it together amen let's see I want to finish up with sharing of about the study that I do not like sharing about but I must share it is a study done by Harry Harlow an American psychologist and it was done in 1930s and they were trying to find out whether it's good for children to be separated from their mothers and taken to the nursery when they were born so that separation from the mother and and they were trying to find out what is the effects of separating their children from the from their mothers so they took groups I believe over a hundred monkeys and this is this is terrible I hated watching this but they took baby monkeys and for the first six months of these monkeys lives one group of monkeys what lived with their natural mother anybody know about the study study psychology awesome good subject to study but yeah read the Bible to I studied psychology in college as well and it's a very fascinating subject but so the first six months of these monkeys lives the first group got to be with their natural mother they got to nurse from the mother they got to be held by the mother they but were rocked by their mother second group of monkeys they got a choice they got to two mothers one monkey had a cloth on it with a face and another monkey had a bottle on it with a face but with a different face and the monkey would embrace the mother this this fake mother with the just the cloth on it and would spend nine to ten hours a day embracing this mother and then it would only run away to feed real quick and come right back third group of monkeys got no mother just a cloth on the floor and were fed from outside the cage needless to say the first group of monkeys grew up healthy were strong mentally emotionally adapted and adjusted to new situations the second group of monkeys couldn't quite adjust socially once they were released to other monkeys to interact with other monkeys they kind of had a difficult time connecting with other monkeys third group of monkeys were damaged not damaged but physically did not develop and I believe there was a large percentage of them that died didn't make it past six months it really breaks my heart to see that resemblance many times with how mothers treat their children and again I'm not here to insult anybody but I'm here to wake us up to the reality that sometimes culture doesn't know what it's doing sometimes when culture tells us to leave our children with someone else they don't know what they're talking about they don't know what they're talking about because as we as we watch how that affects children over a course of decades we begin to see the result of that children need their mother they need the consistency of a mother's embrace they need the guarantee of that stability that my mother is there for me and I know there's situations where you have to have a job I understand that I I've seen it more than once okay I understand that but aside from having to feed your family and provide financially your number one priority should be to be there for your children that's your number one priority yes provide financial yes feed your family but cancel your your outings with your girlfriends your social gatherings cancel that put down the back burner believe me the time will come and your children will grow up and none of those social gatherings will do anything for your children they will not heal your relationships with them none of that none of that will do you any good okay you cannot bring that time back but if you pour yourself into your children commit yourself as a mother to your children and pour into them for 10 20 years you will begin to reap the benefit of that sacrifice you will begin to reap the benefit of that investment and then you can have all the social gatherings you want and you can showcase all the children you brought up amen okay that's it for me yeah she's a teacher I'm a I'm a preacher best of luck do you know that it wasn't not a mistake that you guys have hungry generation as a name it wasn't interesting that how God does it it wasn't just a mistake that young guys got together and they're like okay how do we call our youth ministry let's call it hungry generation because it's very in the trend to use the word of generation you know we did it the same thing generation for truth okay but here's the thing the more I look at you guys the more I begin to realize that the name will determine the next generation and deeply in my heart I believe that God will raise a young kids they're running around right now and destructing our services that's the generation that will be hungry for God see when God gives the promise he always gives in the form of a seed and a child in our life is a seed when God puts us in the ministry of kids ministry and we'll look at those kids sometimes you want to slap them but it's the seed everything that God gives it's the seed and if we look at as a seed we will invest into a seed differently because when we plant a seed we expect a harvest when we look at the children's ministry we expect to harvest and I I believe with all my heart that God will raise a young kids that will be hungry for his presence they might not be hungry for some preachers some ministries but they will be hungry for his presence amen amen well for me it's a huge honor to be here and to see what you guys have been doing it I was watching you guys doing the men's conference and all the men said yes I would ask all the ladies wives please send your men more often to men's conference they will become more romantic they will become better husbands that's guarantee did you know that God actually gave a promise to Israelites he says this once a year every man should gather for seven days and you know like okay but who's gonna provide and this is what God says that I will provide your families while you are here with the man and I will protect your families and that's the promise that's the promise when man get together to seek his face we begin to see things happening in our homes God's protection and God's provision is there sometimes we think we need to attend the business conference to provide for a family but God says no pretend a men's conference and you will prosper come on okay let's go to Genesis chapter 1 if you have your Bible I want to share it quick and then we're gonna jump into questions if you guys have it so God created chapter 1 verse 27 so God created men in his own image in the image of God he created him male and female he created them then God blessed them you know when I read this I know for sure when God says I will bless that means that would be blessed okay so let's take a look God creates man a woman he puts them together he blesses them but when we look around us we see those broken families broken kids why is it happening why is this happening you know God gives the promised land to Israelites he says go and possess the land it's yours it's yours but here's the thing they had to go and fight for it not everything that we see in the scripture as a blessing and as a promise comes to us on the plate you have to fight for it and the blessing that God promises for our families if we have to fight for it you know I'm a some of you have older kids we have one attending youth services and teens and still kind of in the process and I'm hoping for more kids I'm praying for this you know when they're asked us I'm from a family of 14 okay I'm from the family of 14 and I think my parents did an amazing job most of us are in ministry all of them are saved no divorce and when they ask us a question in our on our wedding how many kids would you want and I look at my wife and I told her whoever was asking 15 I have to beat my dad and my wife got scared I'm like and you can't do worse it wouldn't believe in your worst you're trapped but I know that not everything that my parents were doing it believing God it wasn't just God you said and that's gonna happen no they were fighting for it and not only that with every child it's different you know God gives the land to Israelized and he says that's the promised land go and possess it it's yours okay I mean logically okay just grab a weapon and go and get kill the enemies and take the land no Joshua had to go and pray and seek for strategy and I believe with all my heart sometimes we can we can grew up in a good family we can listen to a good podcast we can look and read good books on the family but when it comes to your child that came as a revelation that it's my responsibility to pray and seek a strategy because every child in my family they're different they're different and even in the youth in the in the youth minister being over 20 years now in the youth minister I realized that you cannot approach everyone with the same method you have to seek for strategy and the reason why Israelized experience the failure because the next city they were trying to possess with the same methods okay we've done it let's do this again boom failed because every kid in our family and ministry in everything that it's first of all they created in God's image and we have to approach them in the way that God developed them already and we have to seek God and ask God give me a strategy give me a specific strategy and God begins to lead us in the way that we would never thought it would come prophetic word the knowledge and you begin to approach and serve them so so number thing number one I want to say this that this comes as a as a trust and here's I want to read it Psalm David says 112 blessed is the man who fears the Lord who delights greatly in his command and I know the Russian Bible says those who fear and trust the Lord his descendants will be mighty on earth the generation of the right will be blessed wealth and riches will be in his house and his righteousness endures forever his righteousness endures forever now who are those righteous people the Bible says those who live by faith the righteous shall live by faith you cannot be righteous without faith what is faith it's not just when we need a miracle yes we do apply our faith when we receive a miracle but faith it's something that you and I should always have because we are righteous we don't become righteous only when we approach the the stage and we begin to pray seek God and then we feel something okay now I feel like I'm righteous no you're righteous because God called you to be righteous and we're walking by faith and not by sight and righteous to be righteous daily it's simply trusting God daily you live your life by faith daily so number one I want us to remember that trusting God with our kids it's daily process it's daily that's why the Bible says the righteous will be blessed Jeremiah says this blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord blessed is the man so your family will be blessed when you simply trust the Lord it is good to listen to pathkiss it is good to read books on parenting it is good but most important to trust the Lord to trust the Lord I as a parent I can do so little but God can do so much and you know what God says he says this if you trust me you will be blessed and here's the thing if God blesses no one can curse no one can curse none of the curse can come close to your house why because God is blessing you why is he blessing you for a simple thing that you're trusting him you're not relying on yourself you simply relying on God and God says you're blessed you're prospering and people come and say well can you give me your business advice and you can say I can't because I'm simply trusting the Lord you know my grandma before she passed away check this out she saw five generations I know the Vlad came from a big family some of you came from a big family but I think I came from bigger family I think here's the thing my grandma had 11 kids okay my grandma had almost 70 some grandkids okay and then she had 140 grandkids or great grandkids and then before she passed away she had close to 30 grand grandkids okay and when we were celebrating her last birthday we were doing it at church not everybody could make it but was still about 500 people husbands wives come on that's why on my wedding I had 500 people simple cousin that's my cousin that's my cousin that's my cousin no that's my wife that's my cousin you know how it works but she did my grandma she've done amazing job her her sons are pastors her sons in law pastors and one time I asked my grandpa and grandma why did you do such what why did you exactly did they that when you look back you can tell that you guys are blessed you know that what they told me just feared the Lord and trust God that's it the seminar was over we feared the Lord and we trust God that's it but here's the thing I remember one time when I was as a backslider my grandma comes into my room and she says this Slavic will love you and you want it or you don't want it but God will humble you and you will still serve the Lord you will you have no choice and she left and here's what began to happen with me I'm sitting hanging out with my friends sometimes drunk sometimes under influence of and her words would be Slavic if you don't want it God will still humble you and you will still serve the Lord it wasn't me I didn't want to think about that I want to enjoy the company but her words was like a hammer in my head boom boom boom and you know why because my grandma my mom was praying for me they were fighting for me when nobody seen them they trust God they feared God and they were fighting for me on their knees and praying for me and not only that they were even disciplining me I remember I was already 19 I got dropped by my friends I think was like 3 a.m. and my dad and my mom was looking through the window and my mom began to cry I mean she was exhausted I mean I'm not there at night and she saw me and she she just left to the room and began to cry and this is the lesson I learned till this day I come in and my dad he's he's he loved boxing and he trained okay he was a man-man he's in his 60s okay I come in take my shoes off and my dad steps in he goes boom and I'm on the floor he get he picks me up and he so says those words that I still remember he says this your mother is crying there and your mother is my wife and I will do everything in my power to make sure that she doesn't cry and he left and I'm like became sober really quick so don't tell me that discipline don't work it works you know the the level of my pride went down why because sometimes you have to hear those words the second thing that I want us to remember as a promise from God God gives this promise to David and he says this because you had a desire to build my house I will bless your house that's the promise now we as the parents we need to remember this first we fear God we trust him with our kids and we're building God's house you know in in in my life I knew even before I got saved I knew that I have a calling on my life and sometimes the reason why I became a backslider because I knew the price I have to pay and I didn't want it I wanted to enjoy my life I wanted to do business I wanted to make money but here's the thing when I look at my life now and my friends that do business not a big difference not a big difference but here's here's what I can say that I see God's blessing in everything I do the financial provision is there sometimes we would desire something sometimes we would want something like but we know that we can't afford because this is how much I make and this how much time I spent at church but we simply as a family we would agree hey let's pray for this let's pray for this and then sooner or later boom it comes in and we're like wow and here's the interesting thing kids begin to see that and they begin to realize that what we have now it's the answer from God it's the answer from God you know we prayed for property we prayed for a new home and got God provided we have a good property and good home and the first night we were at the house we were praying and our prayer was this God everyone that comes to our home and they would spend a night in our home can you let them experience your peace just your peace you know and the families that we host sometimes they come they fly in and they stay at our house multiple times when they leave they tell us this we experience peace it was relaxing here and you know kids hear that and that's the testimony you know this this this thing that we often hear oh you cannot lay your kids down on the altar of ministry that's the lie of a devil because when you build the house with your kids they will be involved in ministry they will be involved you will have to drag them out of the church that's what I'm doing with my with my oldest one she want to be a part of everything in church she wants to be involved everywhere why because she saw the heart and that's so important for us to show them and trust again trust God that he will provide the blessing that will come in our life kids will see that and that would be a testimony for them though hey we as a family we prayed and God answered we as a family we prayed for this and God answered and he did this and this so when people ask me how do you manage ministry business and family my answer is this I don't prioritize them it's all God's my business is God my ministry is God's my family belongs to him everything belongs to him so God help again it's it's the grace of God when we trust it's the grace of God that comes in and I like I hope and I wish and I pray to God that one day I will answer the way my grandma answered I fear God and I trust him amen almost feel like you need to say something for point three yeah but can I just have both of you here for just just a minute could you bring the chairs let them sit in the chairs I'll stand in here and I want to could we bring a one more microphone or two microphones because I want to hear just for few moments about kids ministry and first about you guys are playing you guys pioneered something they pioneered something with having one Sunday a month where kids don't go to kids ministry but they stay with their parents at the church and so they don't have kids ministry one Sunday out of the month so the kids are with their parents and so I want I want to hear the idea the spirit behind it and why did you and I know you said you you want to cancel kids ministry completely so it just not people are not ready for it by the way so so you're taking a slowly hijacking that but what is the reasoning behind it I mean kids ministry such a brilliant idea and why do you why do you why do you do what you did so one of the things that I begin to notice even in my with my kids that when we would tell them hey can you guys gonna stay with us this Sunday and when I heard that hey the Sunday service is boring we want to be at the kingdom kids I'm like uh-huh that's not right and I the more I begin to think the more I begin to realize that it is important for my kids to see the way I experience God with in the church the way I experience him because if they don't see me experiencing God it's gonna be very difficult for me to explain them because at one for example at one conference the kids were at the service I was getting prayed obviously I was on the floor and then they begin to ask questions and I'm like this is the best questions that I want to answer it's what happened at the service rather than I come and ask them what happened at the kingdom kids because when I asked him what happened at the kingdom kids sometimes they will tell me oh our teacher so-and-so give us this much candies or she brought this and this or she's shared this funny story or we watched the cartoon I mean none of that is bad but it has this own place so when he for me it was like hey I want to I want to have kids involved in insert service and I told like not only them to attend the service I want them to participate in the service because if he's three years old he sees someone that is six years old involved in the service I think you want to the desire to be there involved will naturally come sometimes and I love what you guys do that you you go and you preach to the kids that's very powerful because I think David Wilkerson said once if your theology if if your theology kids don't understand then something's wrong with your theology so the way we do our Sunday services should be in the level that every person understand even when it comes to kids I just wanted to add a little testament about our oldest daughter so she didn't get to go to Sunday school she was in service Sunday morning she was in service prayer meetings she was in service G4T service sometimes really but one thing I remember is during worship she would be on her knees worshipping or lifting her hands and she was like four years old and I remember a time when some of the people from the worship team approached me and they said thank you so much for teaching your daughter how to worship sometimes she's encouraging us as we're on the stage sometimes when we don't see a response in the adults we look at her and we begin to worship and we're encouraged so she didn't know what it's like not to be in church that was just how life is for her and we saw that difference when our younger kids we would take them to Sunday school they missed out on the meat of you know the congregation meeting together worshipping together and they began to say well it's boring because they haven't experienced God's glory the way the Nika did and I remember when we had a discussion with with Slavic and he mentioned when Jesus was ministering on the earth kids did not have a kids church they were right there with him in fact it was the disciples who said let's start a kids church remember when they said hey they're distracting they're running around you know like we got really important miracles happening here and they're really a distraction and Jesus didn't say oh yeah that's right let's put him aside because this stuff is very serious and they're not ready for this in fact the Bible says he brought them in and he blessed them and so the early church as well the kids were right there that's why if you see the letters they were written to the early church it was written to the household the guy at the jailer the kids were baptized and stuff and so it was later on and you can you tell us on how really the kids ministry was born you told me the story about like what happened in the UK where one guy was helping the orphans and so the kids ministry it was the way it was born it was born by a man I don't remember his name but he was the idea came to him to serve the kids that are on the streets because parents were working hard and kids were just hanging around on the streets so he wanted to serve those specifically those kids so that's what he came up the Sunday school program and he began to minister to them but then churches begin to adapt this program inside the church they by adapting this program they they pretty much took the responsibility from the parents and say okay let's we will teach them Bible but this is our responsibility as a parents now it is important for Sunday schools to be but I believe it's like a cherry on the cake the main job should be done at home and of course as an argument we can have well what if their parents don't don't go to church then I think Sunday school will not help them specifically to those what needs to be done they need to be set by me as a pastor I need to take someone and say okay can you sit just by me and that would be more helpful than Sunday school because like right now I have guys that in their teens but I make them sit by me because their parents don't attend our church but I make them to sit by me is it easy no I always like if I don't see them I text them during service hey where are you why don't you sitting by me I want them to sit by me because I know that I can minister to him by him having next to me better than he would be somewhere attending teens and having fun because and then it's not only they're sitting by you but also they're coming to your house yeah they're hanging out with you and in the kids zone a lot of times you know the lesson is delivered and whoever did that lesson moves on you know during the week they don't necessarily invite that kid they don't hang out with that kid and so the impact what he's saying is that the impact is the relationship it's not just the lesson or education somebody to kind of give it to them and so yeah because if we look at the I think one of the greatest kids ministry in our days now it's Bill Wilson in New York I mean phenomenal ministry but we have to understand the concept that he ministers on the streets he served those kids on the streets and with permission of the parents he does not take the church kids away from parents and ministers to them he serves them on the streets and that's effective and we do have a yogi program yogi bear program that we we we copied from you guys too I think what passes love because also saying is that kids ministry is a supplement to parents but it's not a substitute that God did not call church to raise children God called parents to raise children and it's good when parents don't you know when children don't have Christian parents but even in that case what he's saying is that we can't change their life by just an hour and a half of fun and games they need more than that they need relationship they need almost like spiritual parents and so and it's we really want all of us to catch this thing guys is that if you think that you can just drop off the kids show up on Sunday be on the phone zoom out if you think that your spiritual life does not matter in the upbringing of your kids think again you might not be a pastor you might not be a prophet you might not but the the trust the fear of the Lord that the reverence for God your behavior in the service but most importantly your heart for God outside of the service it's really what's gonna touch your kids kids are not gonna be mentored by my walk with God they're gonna be mentored by your walk with God they're not gonna be mentored by you the person that you listen to on the podcast it's and so and a lot of us you know like when we were young and we were single it's like hey I don't have any ministry so I can kind of slack off but now you got little minions running around and they look to you you are their pastor and so imagine what would happen if I would live spiritually like you live in front of your kids like would you still have me as your pastor would you say hey bro come on may step it up I mean you step it up and so like these kids they look to us and I say us and inclusive as well is that and that's why we have to step up and not just use that idea that I'm just busy with with school I'm just busy with business I'm just busy with other things and I mean we're not doing anything it's not like we're drinking alcohol here you know and watching pornography or anything and stuff so these kids have a good example because they got a roof over there and I put a thing on the table and everything and stuff but they need more than they need an example of somebody who walks you don't have to quote the Bible 24-7 but walks with God fears God does you know I was remembering after the conversation that I had in the car with you I mean Slavic challenged me and then I we were driving back home and I was thinking about what I learned about prayer I did not learn in church we started in the family and it was very traditional we woke up all together all five children and I mean an old-school prayer like on your knees not like pacing back and forth like we do right now and turn on the activity app so you can get you know killed two birds with one stone I'm talking about on your knees and God forbid my mama got filled with the Holy Ghost during that prayer that man that we're gonna stay there for 35 minutes not 30 minutes and then the moment we could wobble anything we all had to say our little prayer and then at the end dad would say a prayer mom would say a prayer and then in the evening we would first read the scripture together wasn't a little bad story of some kind of a fiction story the only story David killing Goliath stories you'll baby like what he kill who does like this you'll understand one day you just and he kept putting that word of God and then we would pray together when we got filled with the Holy Spirit I remember these prayers continues I'm 16 I'm 17 years of age and now we're speaking in tongues and the prayers are 15 minutes you know cuz you know now we all got tongues and stuff so we got a little bit of room over there to pray and and I'm thinking and later on when I started to do morning prayers and and all of this stuff but the seed was planted by my parents who are not necessarily preachers that nobody kind of knows them for their evangelism or anything of that stuff but that stuff that they planted like that stuff becomes the foundation you know of my life and guys you you every one of you you have that parents you have that privilege and opportunity your kids might go further than you have but they need that foundation what about homeschooling how did what was the the why did you make that decision to homeschool I never imagined myself teaching but when I began to research when my firstborn was about to go into kindergarten I began to research the different schools and the different curriculum that they use and I began to look into what was being taught in schools and mind you that was 15 no not 15 10 years ago that was a decade ago right a lot of things have changed over the last 10 years a lot of things have changed over this year right but as I reached the more I researched the more I began to question do I really want to send my child to be shaped and molded by these things and the more I realize whatever it's gonna take I have to do it for her sake I have to make sure that she's shaped and molded the right way the first time I cannot catch up with a few hours a day of correcting what was done over a course of eight years eight hours for five days a week there's no catching up there yes by God's grace God can do miracles but God also gave my child the parent God also gave me a responsibility I have to be faithful in that as well okay and then the scripture that would constantly be on my mind was teach them diligently as you walk along the road as you sit with them and I understood that if I would simply begin with spending the day with my child and and shape her and mold her based on scripture I would do much more good for her than any high-level education could do for her and we see the results today of our high-level education it has not done our society any good I love education I'm all for I'm very passionate about teaching my kids very passionate about learning but ours our assignment I believe as parents is to teach our children to love learning not to memorize facts if we have made them memorize facts and regurgitate that those things it did it will not shape them for who they need to be in life but if we have taught them to learn even if we ourselves are not highly educated right if we have taught them to love learning you guys all of that knowledge is available we have libraries we have books upon books upon books we have YouTube and videos on YouTube there's Khan Academy there's all these educational things that your child can learn from so many resources but if we fail to mold them all of that education knowledge is not going to do them any good so that's why I'm homeschooling and right now I know that you have a passion also to help others not just to homeschool their children but even to start like this like a school and could you can you talk about that so what exactly there's a lot I can go on for a long time so basically this year I opened up my home to families who wanted to start homeschooling didn't know how didn't know where to begin so we use the curriculum that we use and anybody can start off using this it is the best thought through and most most of the Christian and private schools in America use this curriculum it's called a becca if you simply begin with that curriculum you can use it all the way through high school all the families that I know who have brought up their children through a becca who have educated their children from kindergarten to up to high school and then sent their kids to high school and public schools all of their children graduated at the top of the class with honors and a valedictorian of the class all of that this program is very well thought through and all you need to do is buy it first of all but then implement it implemented just the way that it's written out I've been using it with my kids since the Nika was my oldest was in kindergarten my kids began reading by Christmas when when they start kindergarten within three to four months they're reading my youngest right now my five-year-old is already reading three-letter words very simple but he has learned to love learning he is reading and it wants a child can learn to how to read he can run read he can learn to read the Bible the reason in education is important the reason it's important to teach them the right way is so that they can learn to read to reach to read the Bible and to receive their personal revelations not to depend on somebody else for a revelation so it's very simple as far as homeschooling if you want to begin it look up a becca there's many options obviously there's more curriculum than that but that's a really good starting point and it's worked really well for for us worked really well for many other parents there's also groups of homeschooling parents look up firmly planted homeschooling resource the lady that runs it is Heidi St. John just a wealth of information there and you could also look up on Facebook in your community I'm I know beyond a shadow of doubt there's somebody else homeschooling and you guys can meet maybe once a week for that's kind of restricted now sorry but the way huh zoom there you go zoom but the kids also need that social interaction of course church family is a huge huge help in that because your kids come into this body it's a safe place for them and they interact with other kids they need that interaction as well but what is what is your dream I know your dream is like to turn it into I want to obviously make it available for more families we're looking for a facility now where we can make that happen there's so many options there there's so many things running through my head now I'm still trying to decide whether it's gonna be a private school or if I want to keep it as a co-op the reason I want to as a co-op is this you guys as a private school so often parents misunderstand the purpose of school it's not so that they could just drop their kids off and let the teachers raise them no no no no that is a huge mistake with a co-op that parent has to partner in the education process of what is co-op what is a gathering a joint effort of multiple families multiple so kind of like what you have right now yeah okay so and we help each other out that's a huge deal to you so maybe five six some somebody else can so you were finishing the difference between the private school and co-op right so private school the the school is responsible for the education both the co-op the primary responsibility fall falls on the parents the parent has to make it a priority the parent has to be committed to the child's education and the co-op is a supplement it's just an extra help so we cannot how do I say this without being offensive a lot of times parents neglect their responsibility because they think that the school will do the parenting for them and that's not even offensive but the problem is we can only do so much and I've tried this already but as teachers teachers can only do so much as far as molding their character when they go home and their parents tell them otherwise you know their parents don't hold them accountable their parents don't make them do their their studies at home it's really hard to keep that child up to standard and then the child begins to realize I'm not keeping up with my classmates and he begins to withdraw he begins to give up on himself that is the most heartbreaking thing for me to watch because there's no such thing as I can't that word is a curse word in our home that that word does not exist I can't is not spoken if my kids ever say that they're in trouble through Christ I can do all things and that is what I teach the kids in my group now when they come home to their parents and they don't receive that same push you're not gonna quit you're not gonna give up you're going to study you're going to memorize yes you can it's hard now but you will do it I begin to put some of these students who have this problem I begin to push them and and wouldn't let them slack I began to see a huge progress in them over just a course of a few weeks within one month one of the students who struggled to remember her multiplication in fact got a hundred percent on her test for the first time and she sat there and she looked at that score and she looked up at me with disbelief she could not believe that this was her score and she looked down and I see that realization that yes I can it turns out yes I can but those of you who didn't pay in high school yes you can't you got this online course but you guys it's a partnership it has to be a partnership with the parents does anybody any any parents have any questions yeah the three elements that Veronica you were talking about what are the ages of kids for those three elements and up to which age do you apply that those three elements honestly I didn't think about breaking it down into ages I just kind of applied across the board and obviously like I said it has to be a just consequence and an adequate consequence the consequence I apply to my five-year-old it's not the same that I apply from my 15-year-old and they hate it because it's to them it's not fair but as a parent I understand that I have to have wisdom with how I apply consequences so it's if a child is in your home doesn't matter how old a child is the consequence like I mean even Slavic is that you know punched him we don't I don't punch but they understand at a very young age at a very young age they begin to understand what consequences and they begin they learn how to push those buttons and manipulate so quickly and it's tricky sometimes to catch that so you guys have like 30 kids right now how what does that look like for you guys do you guys is it just you do you have help how does that how does that work and then do you guys with the program do you guys teach them or is the program pretty much do a lot of the heavy lifting for you it does it does so there's some of us I have a certified teacher who is on board with us like helping us out and she's actually able to teach the lessons to herself what we did for her was Becca has an option where you order the manuals and every lesson is kind of written out for you she just reads through it and teaches it herself she's confident to do that for me I teach arithmetic for my fifth graders because I'm confident in that subject language I know it I write my blogs I'm confident that but I'm not confident enough to teach it so I just play a certain video I play a video for that subject basically because with a lesson you have to be very precise there's you can't allow for alms and as an let me check you have to be very precise otherwise you're confusing the child so that's the beauty of a Becky if you're just starting out you can order those DVDs and you can have the professional teachers and the beauty about DVDs they've edited out all of the little glitches so you the child gets clear instructions and here's the thing with a Becca it's those lessons are so well thought out that the child understands by the end of lesson he completely understand the new concepts the struggle that we're having a little bit right now with my eldest signed up with the online course is their material is a little bit disconnected so she has to kind of draw her on conclusions of course I'm okay with that because she's old enough but with younger kids elementary level you can't afford to have that happen it has to be very clear instructions so I can't remember what we started off with but a Becca does a lot of that heavy lifting for you yeah I know where there's five of us total yeah it's time for one more question so how do you overcome let me read it because how do you overcome the fact of not having it all put together as a first-time mom being a stay-at-home mom I still don't have it put together but you know like little by little like what I do it like organizing or yeah like that feeling of oh I'm gonna stay at home mom maybe he thinks I'm doing everything but like so society society things like oh you're sleeping and something like that no no you can't afford to see pin no that's a disaster that's a disaster from the get go don't sleep in no I don't have it always I'll put together but we together with the kids we get through the day because we know that we have to get it done and whether we feel like it or not obviously the child is sick I let the child rest but for me I know that there's nobody for example when when you understand that you have to feed your child you just feed your child regardless of what's going on right so the same thing with education you know that this child your child needs education you know that you're responsible for their education so you just do it you just work through it there's gonna be hard days I've had really hard days there's gonna be days where the child is not gonna want to read but that's why he has you to teach him stability and consistency and that will give him confidence because he's not faced with the stress of making that decision you've made that decision for him no you're going to read it's going to be five minutes but you're going to read okay I'll cut I'll cut it down from 15 to 10 but you're gonna read is that implementing that consistency even on the hard days even when you don't have it all together even also means in the whole thing and you addressed it in the beginning of being a person who does not you know when girls have careers have education and then transitioning into being a stay-home mom you know first few years as the baby is growing up I mean it could be very confusing because it's kind of feels like hey I'm wasting my time I could be doing so many things and I could just have for half of a price somebody else at the care of the child how do you kind of deal with those emotions because I mean a lot of people are doing that now where it's kind of and sometimes it's a financial restraint but a lot of times it's not the financial restraint it's the emotional emptiness and the emotional thing what I need to do something and so because I don't want to be you know just a baby factory and I just want to go and reach my career discover myself and you know I'm I'm equal as a man and this this whole thing how do you process those feelings yeah how did you process that I totally understand that element of feeling like I'm completely useless because here I am all I have to do is just wait around for him to mess up his diaper and then to ask for food you know and I was up until I was like and I were engaged I was well on my way to become a psychotherapist I was in a university I was studying and I loved love love learning and I loved studying and I had my own imagination of how I was going to apply that for the kingdom right so when that when when all of that came apart and I realized I just had to be a mother yes there is a process you have to go through emotionally of readjusting but what helped me through that is that revelation that there is nothing more important on this earth than raising the next generation there is nothing there's no career that will compare to that you are molding the future right now it looks meaningless and you're not it doesn't even it's not even glorious right it's not even acknowledged it's not even praised because it's unseen until 10 years from now until that child grows up and begins to manifest what you've been pouring into him amen I want to add you know the the scripture where it's a postal Paul said wife submit to your own husbands I know the modern Christianity transfer translate this in in the way but one of the things that I always when I counsel young couples I always tell them that you don't submit yourself to your husband first of all you need to understand that you're submitting to the word of God and when you learn this concept that I put the word of God first my husband just fall into the picture but I'm submitting my life to the word it becomes a lot easier to submit then looking at your husband with all his failures and it's a lot harder then you choose to submit to the word so that's the really helps and I I saw this in her life how she applied that scripture and things begin to change like as a matter of fact it helped me in my spiritual walk in my ministry me as a man you know because the man is like a it's like a Lagos he's like in the box but it's it's perfect but it's all there but it needs to be put together and that's why the wife is there for a man to be put together Natasha that's a meme right there so I do want to add to that of what good is it to me if I spend my days my years chasing my career and chasing my ambitions and then turn around and see my husband is not alongside with me or my children have no connection with me my career means nothing to me if my children if I don't see my children growing up into the children of God I want them to be and I don't see my husband running the race for Jesus and and living the calling that he has on his life if I do not pour into them like really at the end of your life is that all you really wanted was your career and your ambitions those don't matter at the end of the day what really matters is what is beyond you what will go on beyond your death right it's your children and your children's children that's good that's good and if you know them you'll you know one thing it's it they're not just hey pastor Slavic you go minister and she just stays home she's in ministry in the same way and stuff and so conferences services all the kids are there you know in the front row and there even when we had a race to deliver you know they both they both came with their kids and stuff and so and I love what he said and I kind of honestly refrain re re shape my understanding I don't prioritize all is for God I love that and stuff so because a lot of times we have this thing it's like you know it's my day off it's my family time and and then there's we're not saying to be reckless or we're not saying that have no wisdom in your life but when we begin to compartmentalize our life when the Bible clearly states that do all things as unto the Lord that means if we're together with the family in the park we're serving God right now if we're eating dinner together we're serving God the same way as we're on the stage ministering we are ministering to God as a family and stuff and so and we don't draw these lines where this is God and this is not God for us all of this is for the Lord and stuff is I think it's to me was such a huge takeaway and I stopped saying that after that you know God family and ministry I just are saying that you know my whole life belongs to him and in every way shape and form it's for his glory and there are moments where together with the family we sacrifice for the ministry and there are times when the ministry will sacrifice for the family but all of it is at the end of the day for his glory and I think when kids see that they don't despise the ministry and then there is they don't despise the family they're not afraid to have a family and so and I think it's such a healthy balance it's contrary to kind of popular opinion right now that's being taught but a lot of those people that are teaching that popular opinion and some of them even write books but then they get divorced and then their kids fall apart and so like we have to stick with the scripture we see the Bible is always about serving the Lord as a family and serving his kingdom another thing I want to add when it comes to prioritizing and not this whole thing of taking vacations I begin to look at some of our families the business owners and how often they do take vacation and I don't know I hear we're so tired we're so tired we need vacation we need and I begin to notice that they begin to buy toys four wheeler snowman bills boats the money goes into a place where and of course like I understand that there's nothing wrong with it but again does that all fill the void inside and then I begin to look and I see that it says that God rested on the seventh day but I can't imagine God laying on the couch doing nothing because when he begins to explain to Israelites how to do the Sabbath you will come to a conclusion Sabbath was not only to rest physically because the Sabbath was something that was speaking our rest in Christ and the way we rest in Christ it's not laying on the couch and watching and watching Netflix and doing nothing no resting in Christ it's finding something that bring rest to my soul and I'm ready to go and minister to people and I will never say I burned out because people use that I burned out I've done so much for church and then I burned out you will never burned out if you find rest in Christ okay I agree with you went to vacation it was stressful afterwards I was like I was better before vacation I totally agree with you and it was expensive and stuff so yeah so I think vacations are are good but they have to be so intention like what am I doing on vacation am I finding rest for my soul or just physically rest but like because I think we have to be wise even how we do vacation yeah yeah I agree we have to build our life that we don't have to constantly escape it but live have these rhythms where we like you said doing things that are refreshing our soul and indication on the top of this good especially like to Hawaii and stuff and so yeah okay why I have most of my family lives in Hawaii so for me it's cheap so it's not a vacation it's just visiting the family visiting my mom amen amen I want us to take a moment and pray for those people that are here and watching and we'll be rewatching this Slavic if you can just kind of say a prayer for the young parents people who will be parents the God will give us wisdom to raise our our children to build our marriages and to also like you said secondly to to build God's kingdom I love would and it was our we were dated and we were about to get married and it was actually your church I think forgot the name of the guy Nikolai because no no no no it was a marriage seminar we were there and I remember he shared one secret is a guy and that's one thing I remember from the whole seminar he said this he says if you build together God's kingdom God will in Richard build your family and I just want and it's so simple and I always remember that that if you if I build God's kingdom together with my wife God will instead of building my family I build God's kingdom and then God in return and then when we're doing it together we end up actually getting closer we're getting built together so if you can pray for us now let's pray hallelujah Jesus we honor you in this place we don't consider ourselves that we're professional we don't consider ourselves that we know everything but we simply rely on you we want to live our life completely trusting you we want to live our life building your kingdom Holy Spirit I ask you help us give us wisdom give us strength to build your kingdom and right now I speak your blessing over each person that's in this place I speak your blessing over each husband over each wife and Jesus name it everybody who's involved in kids ministry Father God help us to look at it and see your seed in every person in every child to see what you protested for them to accomplish and help us to help them to accomplish what you call them to accomplish Holy Spirit we ask for your wisdom we ask for your anointing that we would minister and build your kingdom for your glory that we would not build our own little kingdoms but we will build your great kingdom Father God I'm so thankful that we belong to a great family that we belong to the church that we belong to the church that the gates of hell will not prevail and you promise that you will keep us that you will save us that you will protect us that you will provide us that's your promises and right now I'm thank you I worship you for all the promises that you promised us that you are faithful in everything that you promise that we will experience and we will testify for your glory in Jesus name Lord at Jesus I just pray also Lord over each parent Lord God I pray for a renewing of our minds through your word Lord God Lord God that you would refresh our understanding of who we are and who were created to be Lord that we were created in your image Lord God that we were created to follow your mandates or God your rules in your laws or God your commands or God Lord God I pray for that revelation to be renewed in us Lord God that we would serve in our home Lord God as if it was your very kingdom in on earth or God let us begin or God to build your kingdom in our homes or God to be available to minister to our children and to anybody else who might may need to be ministered to Lord God to make our homes available to make a sanctuary and a resting place and a place of healing to our family and to those who enter in Jesus mighty name Lord God I speak the blessing over every father and over every mother in Jesus name Lord amen amen thank you guys for coming out and thank you everybody for watching