Worrying about your self harm in relationships / Sunday / 20.02.2011





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Published on Feb 20, 2011

The questions for this week are as follows:
1. Have you ever not self-harmed because you are worried others will see? How do you deal with it?
2. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone (friends/family/boyfriend-girlfriend), and you have prevented yourself from letting them get close to you?

Self Injury Awareness Day 2011 - Amsterdam - Flashmob - Landelijke Stichting Zelfbeschadiging: www.zelfbeschadiging.nl/pagina/239

The (awesome) website of SelfHarmSupport:

My answers to the questions of the last few weeks: (I'll try to keep it short :) )
1. Do you think going inpatient to a hospital "against your will" for self injury would be helpful to a person or not?
Not really no. I believe that a person needs to WANT to stop. So try to help that person to get to that point that they want to stop. THAT's important. And not that they NEED to stop. YOU can't make that decision for them. They can only do that themselves. In the Netherlands going inpatient doesn't mean help with your sh (no treatment at all) it's more like an opportunity for you to get "a rest" and the option to have a session with a counselor. But they (hospital) said to me at the beginning (4 years ago): Cutting yourself means you have to leave right away. To them: Self harm is like your little salad on the side. It's not really important. What did work for me: I made an arrangement that I could call a crisis phone-line 24/7 and they had my file over there so they knew about my struggles and a bit about my life. I called once and it was a really pleasant conversation.

2. Have you ever learned any negative "tips" from going inpatient or talking to other self harmers?
No. I still am uncomfortable talking about it with people in real life. I met some people (from that Self Harm Support Foundation) who have seen my videos and they were talking about it like very direct and open and everything.
That was a bit scary but they were lovely. It was all positive :) I did have a friend in high-school that wanted to hurt and kill herself and we talked a lot. It never gave me any urges to do something harmful to myself, because it was so far away from 'me' at that time. I couldn't related to her thoughts at all. She got better. And i believe that she is doing really well now. And now i'm the one with the problems, isn't that ironic. I never told her that.

3. Was there ever a time when you wanted to cut for no reason? How do you/did you overcome this?
You mean like just because the feeling it is giving you? Yeah, I remember like being in a zone and blocking out the rest of the world and just being comfortable with me and my razor. Being addicted to the stuff. But i decided that i didn't want to continue living that way. Because it's not who i am, and it started to look and feel that way at that time. It was TOO important. It takes time to make that decision.

4. While stopping do you feel like your other problems get worse?
I find myself having more problems with eating. I don't have an eating disorder but I do know that I try to compensate my urges by dealing with food issues

5. Have you found any ways to stop your scars from itching?
What I find helpful is making the scar wet with your mouth and than blow on it gently. Even better if someone else does it for you of course. It can be a very sweet and sensual thing and it will keep your mind of the itchiness. And it is something you can always do. Any place, any time.

6. Have you ever been on a "break" from self-harm (like, self-harm free for a certain number of months), and felt sad that you weren't doing it anymore?
No, it feels every strong. I do miss it though.


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