 Even if the rules allow it, the entire party can't all be raised by the same wolf. The party's mutual bond can't be former members of the funky bunch. I can't bribe the dwarf with an offer of putting him up for stud. Kissing up to a dragon until he gives us a minor trouble is acceptable, slapping us with a restraining order not so much. I can't use the summon monster spell to redefine the term trolling someone. 12 degrees of success on my charms test doesn't automatically earn me a commissarial back rub. Successfully grappling the roper doesn't let me use him to play double dutch with a thief. Even if the rules allow it, no using plaid colored white spells to mess with the guard's perception of movement. If I challenge death to a game, picking campaign for North Africa doesn't ensure immortality. Despite what the rules say, a ghillie suit does not make me invisible in the St. Patrick's Day Parade. No matter what it would do to his spellcasting chances, I can't cast shrink on the necromancer's undies. You can only make so many cold shots to the groin until it's an alignment check. Athletic scholarship is an unacceptable excuse to take the sage background for my half-orc barbarian. After cleaning out their lair, I can't put all the newly petrified medusas in my front yard as decorations. I will not finish any sentence containing the phrase, blink ferrets. Need to stop coming up with excuses to keep referencing page 73 of the Dungeoneer Survival Guide. No matter how rude it was, I will keep all my interactions with the magic mouth at the entry of the dungeon PG-13. Even if the rules allow it, no dual wielding lances. Just because it's legal to dual wield quarter-staves, tying two together to not give me dire nunchucks. My rogue will accept the fact he can backstab a tridrone even if it doesn't have a back-to-stab. We aren't using Rosie O'Donnell for a unit of measurement for any aspect of a warjack. Yes, the demolition corps has a dress uniform. No, it's not steam-powered. Just because I bought my dice bag at the Vatican doesn't mean my dice are Catholic. Despite the book's claim, using a double negative in the protectorate of Minoth doesn't bring down a death sentence. Before making my last wish, I will make sure everybody in the party actually wants Patagia. My wode clad picked will stop calling the Lady Knight critical of chainmail bikinis and overdressed prude. Just because acid is considered a damage type and alkaline doesn't mean the DM has a pH imbalance. Just because damage is non-lethal doesn't mean I can keep beating him for hours. All come in grizzly, Kodiak, and polar varieties, not drop. Wife's side of the family is not an acceptable choice for favored enemy. Even if it's a gladiator campaign, we can't all be Spartacus. When asked why the Feywild isn't in the campaign, self-inflicted nuclear holocaust isn't the right answer. Even if the rules allow it, I can't have a clockwork kidney. This goes double for a steam-powered liver. While it is customary to initiate a duel by striking with a gauntlet, it is also customary to do it at subsonic speeds. I will make sure any minor summoning spell gets us a lesser elemental and not jailbait. I will not use summon spells just for sticking somebody else with the check. Even if the rules allow it, we can't be space ogre ninjas. When providing pistols for a duel, they both can't be fingerprint locked just to me. Even if the rules allow it, I can't spend my XP to turn the crap sack setting into a functional randy in utopia. Lichtenstein does not have a challenge rating. Pen Dragon is not the best game to test Darwin's theories on survival of the fittest. I can't spend all my starting points on concubines. Every time the catgirl fails the skill check, I won't spriture with the water bottle as punishment. I can't use the catgirl's tongue to remove paint from metal. Even if my character's lifespan is in centuries, I can't just pour saltwater over the lock and just wait. I also can't spend all my character points on one just really awesome concubine. I will stop asking the jesuit to teach me kung fu moves. No finding industrial uses for darkspawn. Just one of every plan can't just be, set them all on fire. Even if my druid is immune to poison doesn't mean he can chug bleach with impunity. Can't clear out the dungeon with just engineering checks. I will not test the DM's knowledge on the rules of hypothermia, heatstroke, or dysentery. No more bringing more rule books to the game than the GM owns. Can't bribe a dragon with belly rubs. There's no such thing as medicinal melange. Forichan does not cause more sanity loss than Cthulhu. Just because the new addition of light on magic items doesn't mean I have to go through withdrawal. Even if we all conspire to do it, it's my fault if the character's name forms a Jewish folk song. I can't spend all of my share of the loot on flamethrowers. I don't get bulk discounts when buying armies. I can't devote an entire deck of the battlecruiser to just my mistress. Drug tests can't detect potions of speed. I should stop asking the lady of pain to RSVP. Even if it's the simple and obvious solution to the module, we aren't beating this adventure with lesbianism. The following are not acceptable seconds in a duel, space marine chapter masters, intelligent dancing warple swords, Prussia. The rulebook wasn't kidding about needing 5,000 people to hijack a Star Destroyer. Even if the entire party is in total agreement, we aren't stopping the game to call the writer and correct his Texas history. If the villain doesn't have a phobia of the blue-footed booby, I can't give him one. I will keep the amount of sexual in your window to a minimum in the autopsy report. If I sew them into a serape, I can't wear two magical capes at once. The control waterspell is not for spontaneous wet t-shirt contests. The name for a group of elves is not the fagot. While a performed spoken word and acceptable skill for a bard, performed scat is not. I will remember the whole ass's prayability before I cause the company chaplain to spit take. The dwarven work ethic is not just dig until we hit evil. When granted a wish, use it to unsink the continent the immortals just destroyed. When making a wish granted by said immortals, I will leave out the words you incompetent pricks. Can't just use a wish to turn stride back into a human. No weaponizing the talisman appear good. Just because they can't be the target of raised dead spells doesn't mean elves have no soul. In the middle of a black ops, can't organize a skeet shoot with off of furniture. When challenging death to a game, GMing paranoia doesn't grant immortality. Raised dead spells are not just for closers. Doesn't matter where you hit them, you can't set a bard to shuffle. There is no such thing as nomophobia. I will not give anybody an unreasonable fear of gnomes. No matter how high my damage resistance is, I can't name my dwarf tanky mech tankity tank. Despite the ridiculously short lifespan, third level doesn't count as epic level for atrophins. The plan is not just let the villain beat on the dwarf until his arms get tired. If I am the druid, I can't put Protestant down as my religion. The teleporting spiders attacking us are not just going through a phase. The natural enemy of the elf is not the common cold. No wasting wishes trying to bring ultra vision back to the game. No picking the only form of travel the GM isn't familiar with. Game by Skulling is nowhere near as cool as it sounds. Any character named Jim Cotta is going to be taken from me and burned. The Faroldan rules of succession are not just two men enter one man leaves. When looking for a template to make a creature deadlier, Australian is not a legitimate choice. Just because I have the technology doesn't mean I need to make him better. Just because there are no rules for the Bec de Corbin doesn't mean they don't exist. No starting wars over the what's the best polearm. Can't give a shout out in a ransom note. I can't bit grats my soul in a showdown over the golden oboe. Cleaning out all elven of the caves of chaos in a single night is not what they mean by a dungeon crawl. I can't save money on an Identify spell but just having random peasants do a blind taste test on these potions I found. I can't save points on learning a new language but just learning only the profanity. The advantage friends in high places cannot be represented by Johnny Walker Blue. My wish cannot include the words and additional furthermore or any synonyms thereof. Our posse can't resemble an 80s British glam band without an explanation. The most dangerous weapon are not an opium wamacho and her construction equipment. Yes, they are the perfect solution to all of our deep one problems, no we can't have depth charges. The barbarian can still berserk even if he hasn't had his morning coffee yet. Offering to buy the hostage I just rescued a new arm is not sufficient enough of an apology. Vlogger do not have the flaw ancestral enemy United States Postal Service. No convincing Rahasia, he's just not that worth it. Bargle the infamous is not under a protection for continuity spell. If the quest is to retrieve a magical genie bottle, no shaking it up before handing it back over. I am required to tell the GM if the secret villain of the adventure is revealed on the back synopsis of the module screen. You can't teach a parrot power word kill. There is no danger from explosive decompression and teleporting a derger directly to the surface. You better believe wearing a moo moo to the coronation gets you searched for halflings. If the party is black tie only, that doesn't mean just painted on the power armor. Even if she is a soul-sucking creature of unholy darkness, the cleric can't turn my ex-wife. My necromancer is not in charge of inhuman resources. Cleaning out the dungeon doesn't involve dressing up like ghosts and trying to scare them out. The positive energy plane doesn't charge a cover charge. Not allowed to see if it's possible to drown someone in a barrel filled with healing potions. Can't apply the holy adventure traits to siege weapons. The halfling wizard can't exploit the short rest rules by abusing the use of a papoose. A man dingo is not an Australian lichen throat. If I have to guard the AV-8 during the black ops, no entertaining myself with the PA system, ejection seat, or cluster munitions, I can't fill my yard with adventurer-shaped statues to convince people it's a Medusa lair so they fight me with their eyes closed. When I'm told a giant version of a creature is acceptable for my animal companion, that doesn't include the tortoise. Using dogs to keep late watches fine, howler monkeys not so much. I will not be the sole reason Carnival is cancelled this year. If another player's character has all the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder, a cure to disease spell won't help. No starting the adventure until we have exactly one elf in the party is not Tolkienism. Pointing out the gun will break the character's shoulder if fired in that position is not what they meant as a trigger warning. Scots do not go out faster in direct sunlight faster than vampires. My rogue trader's crew will notice if she left out savior pods to make room for a bigger shoe closet. Firepower is not an appropriate substitute for the fellowship stat. We are not sneaking into the golden throne disguise of the documentary crew. No, I really don't want to know the profit factor cost for insurance on my Grand Cruiser is. Even facing the terrasque can't just gate in a black ball and sit back and watch. No complaining after the black ball takes out the terrasque when it starts doing donuts on the treasure pile. No threatening to Abileth with telling the Cajun restaurant its location. Acerac doesn't care about the Tomb of Horrors yelp rating. Even if my musketeer just tore Richelieu from the French throne, I didn't just break the cardinal rule. The storyteller gives me a drama die at about 70 miles per hour and aimed at my face. It wasn't a compliment.