 There's fear in the world. Conspiracy theories saying 5G networks are evil, that the 5G waves will let the government control our minds, boil our organs from the inside, and turn the world into an unlivable hellscape. But me? I think it's good. Once I heard about this 5G, I needed to get as close as possible to the source. I like being up here. The chemtrails are much thicker. Delicious. It was a long journey, so I made sure to put extra fluoride in my drinking water. It makes my teeth sharp, like the wolf meat. I made this journey for my son. He's sick. The doctor said my wicked rituals and energy therapy wouldn't help. I need to find a cure. If these towers can do all these things that people are afraid of, then maybe, just maybe, I can figure out a way for them to help my son. People call me a conspiracy theorist like it's a bad thing, but who's to say there aren't good conspiracies? Like how JFK was really killed by the CIA. I think they made the right call. And some are harmless. I mean, the Earth is definitely flat, but I totally get why everyone thinks of it as a bang bouncy ball. It's way more fun. Some are just misunderstood. The people who said the world would end in 2012 were correct. It's just not really 2012 yet. Every day under the tower I feel stronger. I feel the radiation seeping into my pores. It even neutralized the negative ions from the crystal I swallowed back in Woodstock 99. I destroyed all of my favorite tinfoil hats as they just blocked the signals. I'm sorry son, but you'll just have to wait. Something is telling me I need to find more ways to harness the beams or I'll lose my strength. I don't care if I grow a third leg. They'd be sweet. I'd be so fast. The moon landing? Yeah, that was fake. And I'm glad it was. It would have been way too expensive to go there on the taxpayers' dime. If everyone's mad, they won't let us see the aliens in Area 51. But honestly, those things are scary. I've seen Independence Day. Let the boys in blue handle that one. Vaccines? Yeah, they make you infertile, but that'll be way cheaper than any of the other procedures I was considering. After weeks under the tower I can hear her whispers in the waves. She tells me what she sees, what she feels. She can hear those who insult her. The ones who spread lies, claiming she would do harm. Worse are those that would treat her like an object. A tool for ambitious new online experiences and enhanced streaming capabilities. My son is the worst of them all. I think he could take advantage of her just because he's sick. He's not strong enough for her. Just a taste of her power and his puny body would instantly explode. You know, everyone flips out because the Illuminati runs the world government, but I can't thank them enough for creating her and giving me a reason to live. She fills my body with her power, her love. She wonders what if she gave me more if I let her in deeper. She fills my hesitant seed. She asks me, is it now or losing myself? If I gain the world, I just need to trust it. I need to trust her.