 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, the five signs a man will fully commit to you. You need to know this before our first date. All right, really quickly, if you're new to my content and this resonates with you and you're a single woman looking for love, check out the link to a free discovery call to see if working with the coach is right for you. That call is with me. All right, we're gonna talk about those five signs he's ready to commit and let me just tell you, you need to know this before our first date. Okay, I'm just gonna be candid with you. I've just observed a lot of children dating, a lot of children dating and what I mean to say is people who are legally an adult by age but emotionally they're children. And I want you to visualize, I'm just gonna do a really quick circle. There's a circle like this, one here, one here and one here. And the circle here is child. The circle here is adult and the circle here is parent. And oftentimes when you're dealing with an emotional child in relationship, you have to become the parent or vice versa. If you're the emotional child, they have to be a parent in the relationship for it to work. And I'm here to encourage something different. I'm encouraging an adult way of looking at relationships. That's why I wanna recommend a new book to you. All How To Be An Adult In Relationships, How To Be An Adult In Relationships by David Rico. David Rico. I just got this book. I'm just getting into the depths of it. It's not where my content came for this video but I highly recommend checking it out because so many of you ladies are dealing with men who are in child mode and so many of us men are dealing with you ladies that are in a child mode and I wanna shift that to an adult mode because adults operate differently in relationship. They operate from a place of intentionality, of a purpose. They actually recognize the value of a relationship and they make a commitment to it. So what are the five signs that they're gonna be able, if you're meeting a man who is an adult, what's the five signs? Well, the first sign is the most obvious one. There's mutual chemistry. There's mutual attraction. There's a sense of you're into each other and usually you know that by the first, second, or third date so that's pretty easy to determine. It's a lot harder if that isn't there. In fact, a lot of people have been encouraged to date if there's no chemistry. Look, I have a real simple rule of thumb. If there isn't an energetic or emotional connection by the third date, it's probably never gonna get there. I've known so many people who have gotten married to people that they never had chemistry with only to have the relationship bomb out, okay? Number two is blendable lifestyles, blendable lifestyles. Here's the thing, for people in their 20s and 30s, their life is like a blank sheet of paper. It's so easy to build a life with another human being especially when the common purpose is raising a family, having children, raising a family but it's a lot different for those of us in midlife and let me just say this, at midlife it's really complicated to blend lives together. This is why it fascinates me how many people enter into relationships with people's whose lifestyles are completely different. One person is a morning person, one person's an evening person, one person loves to exercise all the time, the other person is a couch potato and I'm just picking a few things right here. I mean the list can go on and on. Now, I know a lot of you ladies, well if you love each other we'll just magically work out. No, your lifestyles will have to eventually blend and what I just shared with you were a couple base things about lifestyle. What about your work schedule, where you work, your children, that sort of thing is if it's unable to blend together it's gonna be very problematic. Number three, shared values and a shared vision. This is critically important. Esther Perel talks about this in quite a bit of her work in her book, Mating and Captivity but I highly recommend you understand that without shared values and a shared vision in your life it's gonna be hugely complicated to fully commit to another person. So this is why it's so important to ask those value-based questions early on in the dating practice. If you need some support on that that's what I do as a coach. Check out the link to a free discovery call. That's my area of expertise is helping you vet men and to vet for those shared values and a shared vision. Number four, and this has gotta be the hardest thing to recognize early on, is emotional maturity. Is emotional maturity. As I just said, most people are operating as children and the reason being is they most likely haven't established a daily self-love practice. Let me repeat that, a daily self-love practice and that includes meditation, that includes personal development, self-help and spiritual work as a daily part of their lives to establish that emotional maturity. This is why I wrote my book, What the Heck is Self-Love Anyway? I gotta scratch my nose by the way. What the Heck is Self-Love Anyway? By Jonathan Asley, that's the back cover. It's designed to help you begin that daily practice because without a daily practice for yourself and with the person you're with you're gonna most likely be in that child mode of relationship and I want to get you to step into that adult mode so you don't have to be in parent mode to make this relationship work. And the fifth and critical piece and this is really one of the hardest things to establish is that the person you're with is commitment oriented, they're commitment oriented. The reality is is most people today are seeking casual relationships. They're seeking what they want is companionship, connection and sex without any real commitment. And I'm not talking about monogamy or saying you're not gonna date others but a real commitment to the relationship. That's what an adult does. They say, I am committed to exploring this relationship. And if someone isn't in that space, if they just say, oh, I'm looking for something casual, I don't want anything serious, then you're setting yourself up for failure because without a commitment to the process, it's like, would you wanna be with a guy who's not really committed to his work life? He's not committed to his children. He's not committed to his family. Would you wanna be with someone who's not committed in those areas of their lives? In their lives, no, you wouldn't. Well, then you want to, at least this is my invitation for you is to choose men who are committed to the process of wanting to establish an adult relationship. All right, is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please post a comment. If it is, I wanna hear your thoughts. I wanna hear your questions. Did these five things make sense? Post a comment below. All right, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, giving myself a big gigantic job than bear a hug of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone, a friend, a pet, a pillow, or even a teddy bear and give it a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. I wanna thank you and say bye-bye.