 Book 5, Chapter 2, At the Mill on the Floss This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. This reading by Lucy Burgoyne. The Mill on the Floss by George Elliott Book 5, Wheat and Tears Chapter 2, Aunt Fleeg learns the Brits at Bob's Thumb While Maggie's life struggles had lain almost entirely within her own soul, one shadowy army fighting another, and the slain shadows forever rising again, Tom was engaged in a dustier, noisier warfare, grappling with more substantial obstacles, and gaining more definite conquests. So it has been since the days of Hecuba and of Hector, tamer of horses inside the gates, the women with streaming hair and uplifted hands offering prayers, watching the world's combat from afar, filling their long, empty days with memories and fears outside the men, in fear struggle with things divine and human, quenching memory in the stronger light of purpose, losing the sense of dread and even of wounds in the hurrying ardor of action. From what you have seen of Tom, I think he is not a youth of hum, but you would prophecy failure in anything he had thoroughly wished. The wages are likely to be on his side, not withstanding his small success in the classics. For Tom had never desired success in this field of enterprise, and forgetting a fine flourishing growth of stupidity, there is nothing like pouring out on a mind a good amount of subjects, it feels no interest. But now Tom's strong will bound together his integrity, his pride, his family regrets, and his personal ambition, and made them one force, concentrating his efforts and surmounting discouragements. His Uncle Deanne, who watched him closely, soon begun to conceive hopes of him, and to be rather proud that he had brought into the employment of the firm a nephew who appeared to be made of such good commercial stuff. The real kindness of placing him in the warehouse first was soon evident to Tom, in the hints his Uncle begun to throw out, that after a time he might perhaps be trusted to travel at certain seasons and buy in for the firm various vulgar commodities with which I need not shock refined ears in this place. And it was doubtless with the view to this result that Mr Deanne, when he expected to take his wine alone, would tell Tom to step in and sit with him an hour, and would pass that hour in much lecturing and catatizing concerning articles of export and import, with an occasional excursion of more indirect utility on the relative advantages to the merchants of Sennogg's of having goods brought in their own and in foreign bottoms, a subject on which Mr Deanne, as a ship owner, naturally threw off a few sparks when he got warmed with torque and wine. Already in the second year Tom's salary was raised, but all except the price of his dinner and clothes went home into the tin box, and his shunned comradeship lest it should lead him into expenses in spite of himself. Not that Tom was moulded on the spurny type of the industrious apprentice, he had a very strong appetite for pleasure, would have liked to be a tamer of horses and to make a distinguished figure in all neighbouring eyes, dispensing treats and benefits to others with well-judged liberality, and being pronounced one of the finest young fellows of those parts, nay, he determined to achieve these things sooner or later, but his practical shrewdness told him that the means for such achievements could only lie for him in present abstinence and self-denial. There were certain milestones to be passed, and one of the first was the payment of his father's debts. Having made up his mind on that point, he strode along without squirbing, contracting some rather such a nine sternness, as a young man is likely to do, who has a premature call upon him for self-reliance. Tom felt intensely that common cause with his father, which springs from family pride, and was bent on being irreproachable as the son, but his growing experience caused him to pass much silent criticism on the rashness and imprudence of his father's past conduct. Their dispositions were not in sympathy, and Tom's face showed little radiance during his few home hours. Maggie had an awe of him, against which she struggled as something unfair to her consciousness of wider thoughts and deeper motives, but it was of no use to struggle. A character at unity with itself that performs what it intends, subdues every counteracting impulse, and has no visions beyond the distinctly possible, is strong by its very negations. You may imagine that Tom's more and more obvious unlikeness to his father was well fitted to conciliate the maternal aunts and uncles, and Mr. DeAns' favourable reports and predictions to Mr. Glee concerning Tom's qualifications for business began to be discussed amongst them with various acceptance. He was likely, it appeared, to do the family credit without causing it any expense and trouble. Mrs. Cullet had always thought it strange if Tom's excellent complexion, so entirely that of the Doxons, did not argue as certainty that he would turn out well. His juvenile errors of running down the peacock and general disrespect to his aunts, only indicating a tinge of Tulliver blood, which he had doubtless outgrown. Mr. Glee, who had contracted a cautious liking for Tom ever since his spirited and sensible behaviour, when the execution was in the house, was now warming into a resolution to further his prospects actively. Some time, when an opportunity offered of doing so in a prudent manner, without ultimate loss, that Mrs. Glee observed that she was not given to speak without book, as some people were, that those who said least were most likely to find their words made good, and that when the right moment came, it would be seen who could do something better than talk. Uncle Pullet, after silent meditation for a period of several lozenges, came distinctly to the conclusion that when a young man was likely to do well, it was better not to meddle with him. Tom, meanwhile, had shown no disposition to rely on anyone but himself, though with the natural sensitiveness toward all indications of favourable opinion. He was glad to see his Uncle Glee look in on him sometimes, in a friendly way during business hours, and glad to be invited to dine at his house, though he usually preferred declining on the ground that he was not sure of being punctual. But about a year ago, something had occurred which induced Tom to test his Uncle Glee's friendly disposition. Bob Jayken, who rarely returned from one of his rounds without seeing Tom and Maggie, awaited him on the bridge as he was coming home from St. Og's one evening. But they might have a little private talk. He took the liberty of asking if Mr. Tom had ever thought of making money by trading a bit on his own account. Trading how? Tom wished to know. Why? By sending out a bit of the cargo to foreign ports because Bob had a particular friend who had offered to do a little business for him, in that way, in nice and good, and would be glad to serve Mr. Tom on the same footing. Tom was interested at once and begged for full explanation, wondering he had not thought of this plan before. He was so well pleased with the prospect of a speculation that might change the slow process of addition into multiplication that he at once determined to mention the matter to his father and get his consent to appropriate some of the savings in the tin box to the purchase of a small cargo. He would rather not have consulted his father that he had just paid his last quarter's money into the tin box and there was no other resource. All the savings were there. For Mr. Tulliver would not consent to put the money out at interest list, he should lose it. Since he had speculated in the purchase of some corn and had lost by it, he could not be easy without keeping the money under his eye. Tom approached the subject carefully as he was seated on the hearth with his father that evening and Mr. Tulliver listened, leaning forward in his armchair and looking up in Tom's face with a skeptical glance. His first impulse was to give a positive refusal but he was in some awe of Tom's wishes and since he had the sense of being an unlucky father he had lost some of his old peremptoriness and determination to be master. He took the key at the bureau from his pocket, got out the key at the large chest and fetched down the tin box slowly as if he were trying to defer the moment of a painful parting. Then he seated himself against the table and opened the box with that little padlock key which he fingered in his waistcoat pocket in all vacant moments. There they were the dingy bank notes and the bright sovereigns and he counted them out on the table only a hundred and sixteen pounds in two years after all the pinching. How much do you want then? he said, speaking as if the words burnt his lips. Suppose I begin with the thirty-six pounds father, said Tom. Mr. Tulliver separated this sum from the rest and keeping his hand over it, said, it's as much as I can save out of my pay in a year. Yes, father, it is such slow work saving out of the little money we get and in this way we might double our savings. I, my lad, said the father, keeping his hand on the money but you might lose it. You might lose a year of my life and I haven't got many. Tom was silent and you know I wouldn't pay a dividend with the first hundred because I wanted to see it all in a lump and when I see it I'm sure of if you trust to luck it's sure to be against me. It's old Harry's got the luck in his hands and if I lose one year I shall never pick it up again. Death all overtake me. Mr. Tulliver's voice trembled and Tom was silent for a few minutes before he said, I'll give it up, father, since you object to it so strongly but unwilling to abandon the scheme altogether he determined to ask his Uncle Glee to venture twenty pounds on condition of receiving five percent of the profits. That was really a very small thing to ask so when Bob called the next day at the wall to know the decision Tom proposed that they should go together to his Uncle Glee's to open the business for his dividend pride clung to him and made him feel that Bob's tongue would relieve him from some embarrassment. Mr. Glee, at the pleasant hour of four in the afternoon of a hot August day was naturally counting his ball fruit to assure himself that the sum total had not buried since yesterday. To him entered Tom in what appeared to Mr. Glee very questionable companionship that of a man with a pack on his back. The Bob was equipped for a new journey and of a huge brindled bull terrier who walked with a slow swaying movement from side to side and glanced from under his eyelids with a surly indifference which might after all be a cover to the most offensive designs. Mr. Glee's spectacles which had been assisting him in counting the fruit made these suspicious details alarmingly evident to him. Hey hey, keep that doll back will you? He shouted snatching up a stake and holding it before him as a shield when the visitors were within three yards of him. Get out with your mumps said Bob with a kick. He's as quiet as a lamp soot an observation which mumps corroborated by a low growl as he retreated behind his master's legs. Why, whatever does this mean Tom said Mr. Glee have you brought information about the scoundrels as cut my trees? If Bob came in the character of information Mr. Glee saw reasons for tolerating some irregularity. No sir, said Tom I came to speak to you about a little matter of business of my own. I well, but what has this dog got to do with it? said the old gentleman getting mild again. It's my dog sir, said the ready Bob. It's me as put Mr. Tom up to the bit of business for Mr. Tom's been a friend of mine ever since I was a little chap. First thing ever I did was fighting the birds with the old master and if a bit of luck turns up I'm always thinking if I can let Mr. Tom have a pull at it and it's a downright roaring shame as when he's got the chance of making a bit of money we're sending goods out 10 or 12% clear when freight and commissions pay as he shouldn't lay a hold of the chance for want of money and when there's a lay some goods they're made a purpose for folks as want to send out a little party light and take up no room you may pack 20 pounds so as you can't see the parcel and their manufacturers as please fools so I reckon they aren't like to want a market and I'd go to lay some and buy in the goods for Mr. Tom along with my own and there's the super cargo oh, bit of vessel as is going to take him out I know him particular he's a solid man and got a family in the town here so his name is and a briny chappy is too and if you don't believe me I can take you to him Uncle Gleg stood open mouth with astonishment at this unembarrassed loquacity with which his understanding could hardly keep pace he looked at Bob first over his spectacles then through them then over them again while Tom, doubtful of his uncle's impression began to wish he had not brought this similar aram or mouthpiece Bob's talk appeared less seemingly now someone besides himself was listening you seem to be a knowing fellow said Mr. Gleg at last I say, you say true return Bob nodding his head as side I think my head's all alive inside like an old cheese for I'm so full of plans one knocks another over if I hadn't months to talk to I should get top heavy and tumble in a fit I suppose it's because I never went to school much that's what I draw my old mother for I says you should have sent me to school a bit more I says and then I could have read I books like fun and kept my head cool and empty Lorth she's fine and comfortable now my old mother is she hates her bake mates and tatters as often as she likes for I'm getting so full of money I must have a wife to spend it for me but it's bothering a wife is a mum's light and like her Uncle Gleg who regarded himself as a do-case man since he had retired from business was beginning to find Bob amusing but he had still a disapproving observation to make which kept his face serious I he said I should think you're at a loss for ways of spending your money else you wouldn't keep that big dog to eat as much as two Christians it's shameful shameful but he spoke more in sorrow than in anger and quickly added but come now let's hear more about this business Tom I suppose you want a little son to make adventure with but where's all your own money you don't spend it all eh? No sir said Tom but my father is unwilling to risk it and I don't like to press him if I could get 20 or 30 pounds to begin with I could pay 5% for it then I could gradually make a little capital of my own and do without a loan I said Mr Glee in an approving tone that's not a bad notion and I won't say as I wouldn't be your man but it'll be as well for me to see this sulk as you talk on and then here's this friend of yours offers to buy the goods for you perhaps you've got somebody to stand surety for you if the money's put into your hands you're the cautious old gentleman looking over his spectacles at Bob I don't think that's necessary Uncle said Tom at least I mean it would not be necessary for me because I know Bob well but perhaps it would be right for you to have some security you get your percentage out of the purchase I suppose said Mr Glee no sir said Bob rather indignantly I didn't offer to get an apple for Mr Tom a purpose to have a bite out of it myself when I play folks tricks there'll be more fun in them nor that well but it's nothing but right you should have a small percentage said Mr Glee I've no opinion or transactions where folks do things let LA's looks bad well then said Bob whose keenness saw at once what was implied I'll tell you what I get by and it's money in my pocket in the end I make myself look big with making a bigger purchase that's what I'm thinking on Lord I'm a cute chap I am Mr Gleg Mr Gleg said a severe voice from the open parlor window Pray are you coming in to tea or are you going to stand talking with Pakman till you get murdered in the open daylight murdered said Mr Glee what's that woman talking off here's your nephew Tom come about a bit a business murdered yes it is many sizes ago since the Pakman murdered a young woman in a lone place a small earth symbol and threw her body into a ditch no no said Mr Glee soothingly you're thinking of the man with no legs as drove a dog cart well it's the same thing Mr Gleg only your fond are contradicting what I say and if my nephews come about business it would be fitting if you'd bring him into the house and let his aunt know about it instead of whispering in corners in that plotting undermining way well well said Mr Glee we'll come in now you needn't stay here said the lady to Bob in a loud voice adapting to the morale not the physical distance between them we don't want anything I don't deal with Pakman mind you shut the gate after you stop a bit Mr Glee I haven't done with this young man yet come in Tom come in he added stepping in at the French window Mr Glee said Mrs Glee in a fatal tone if you're going to let that man and his dog in on my carpet before my very face be so good as to let me know a wife's got a right to ask that I hope don't you be uneasy mum said Bob touching his cat he saw it once that Mrs Glee was a bit of game worth running down and long to be at the sport we'll stay out upon the gravel here mumps and me will mumps knows his company he does I might hish him in by the hour together before he'd fly at a real gentle woman like you it's wonderful how he knows which is the good looking ladies and particular fond of them when they're good shapes laws added Bob laying down his pack on the gravel it's a thousand pity such a lady as you shouldn't deal with the Pakman I instead are going into these new fangled shops where there's half a dozen flying gents with their chins propped up with a stiff stock bottles with ornamental stoppers and all got to get their dinner out of a bit of calico it stands to the reason you must pay three times the price you pay a Pakman as it's the natural way of getting goods and pays no rent and isn't forced to throttle himself till the lies are squeezed out on him whether he will or no but laws mum you know what it is better nor I do you can see through them shopman I'll be bound yes I reckon I can and through the Pakman too observed Mrs. Gleek intending to imply that Bob's flattery had produced no effect on her while her husband standing behind her with his hands in his pockets and legs apart winked and smiled with conjugal delight at the probability of his wife's being circumvented I to be sure mum said Bob why you must have dealt with no end to Pakman when you were a young lass before the master here had the luck to set eyes on you I know where you lived I do seen the house many a time close up Squire Darleys a stone house with steps that it had said Mrs. Gleek pouring out the tea you know something of my family then are you akin to that Pakman with a squint in his eye as used to bring the Irish linen look you there now said Bob evasively didn't I know as you'd remember the best bargains you've made in your life was made with Pakman why you see even a squint in Pakman's you're a shopman as can see straight laws if I had the luck to call at the stone house with my Pak as lies here stooping and thumbing the bundle emphatically with his fist ah and the handsome young nurses all standing around on the stone steps it had been something like opening a Pak that would it's only the poor houses now that Pakman calls on if it isn't for the sake of the servant maids their poultry times these are why mum look at the printed cottons now and what they was when you wore them why you wouldn't put such a thing on now I can see it must be first rate quality the manufacture as you'd buy something as you'd wear as well as your own features better quality nor any you're likely to carry you've got nothing first rate but brazenness I'll be bound said Mrs. Gleed with a triumphant sense of insurmountability, sagacity Mr. Gleed are you going ever to sit down to your tea Tom, there's a cup for you you speak true there mum said Bob my Pak isn't for ladies like you I'm sorry for that bargains picked up dirt cheap a bit of damage here and there as can be cut out or else never seen either wearing but not fit to offer to rich folks as can pay for the look of things as nobody sees I'm not the man as you'd offer to open my Pak to you mum no no I'm an imperant chap as you say these times make folks imperant but I'm not up to the mark of that why what goods do you carry in your Pak said Mrs. Gleed fine coloured things I suppose shawls and that all sorts mum all sorts said Bob something is fun though but let us say no more about that if you please I'm here upon Mr. Tom's business and I'm not the man with my own and pray what is the business as it is to be kept from me said Mrs. Gleed who solicited by a double curiosity was obliged to let the one half wait a little plan only at his Tom's here said good nature Mr. Gleed and not altogether a badden I think a little plan for making money I've brought a plan for young folks as have got their cotton to make a Jane but I hope it isn't a plan where he expects everything to be done for him by his friends that's what the young folks think of mostly nowadays and pray what has this Pakman got to do with it what goes in our family can't you speak for yourself Tom and let your aunt know things as the necky should this is Bob Jakin aunt said Tom bridling the irritation that aunt Gleed's voice always produced I've known him ever since we were little boys he's a very good fellow and always ready to do me a kindness and he has had some experience in sending goods out a small part of a cargo as a private speculation and he thinks if I could begin to do a little in the same way I might make some money a large interest is got in that way large interest said aunt Gleed with eagerness and what do you call large interest 10 or 12 percent Bob says after expenses are paid then why wasn't I let to know as such things before Mr Gleed said Mrs Gleed turning to her husband with a degrading tone over approach haven't you always told me as there was no getting more nor 5 percent poo poo nonsense my good woman said Mr Gleed you couldn't go into trade could you? you can't get more than 5 percent with security but I can turn a bit of money for you and welcome mum said Bob if you'd like to risk it not as there's any risk to speak on but if you are mine to lend a bit of money to Mr Tom he'd pay you 6, 7 percent and get a trifle for himself as well and good natured lady like you you'd like to feel the money better if your nephew took part on it what do you say Mrs Gleed said Mr Gleed I have a notion and I've made a bit more inquiry as I shall perhaps start Tom here with a bit of a nest he'll pay me interest you know and if you've got some little sums lying idle twisted up in a stocking toe or that Mr Gleed it's beyond everything you'll go and give information to the tramps next as they may come and rob me well well as I was saying if you'd like to join me with 20 pounds you can I'll make it 50 that'll be a pretty good nest egg eh Tom you're not pounding on me Mr Gleed I hope said his wife you could do fine things with my money I don't doubt very well said Mr Gleed rather snappishly then we'll do without you I shall go with you he added turning to Bob and now I suppose you'll go all the other way Mr Gleed said Mrs Gleed and want to shut me out of my own nephew's business I never said I wouldn't put money into it I don't say as it shall be 20 pounds though you're so ready to say it for me but he'll see some day as his aunts in the right not to risk the money she saved for him till it's proved as it won't be lost I that's a pleasant sort of risk that is said Mr Gleed indiscreetly winking at Tom who couldn't avoid smiling but Bob stem the injured ladies outburst I ma'am he said admiringly you know what's what you do and it's nothing but fair you see how the first bit of the job answers and then you'll come down handsome loss it's a fine thing to have good kids I got my bit of a nest egg as the master calls it all by my own sharpness 10 suprams it was with dousing the fire a Tory's meal and it's growed and growed by a bit and a bit till I got a matter of 30 pounds to lay out besides comfortable I should get more only I'm such a sock with the women I can't help letting them have such good bargains there's this bundle now thumping it lustily any other chap would make a great penny out of it but me laws I shall sell them for pretty near what I paid for him have you got a bit of good net now said Mrs Gleed moving from the tea table and holding her napkin I am not what you'd think at worth your while to look at I'd scorn to show it to you it'd be an insult to you but let me see said Mrs Gleed still patronising if they're damaged goods they're like enough to be a bit the better quality no mum I know my place said Bob lifting up his pack and sholdering it I'm not going to expose the loners of my trade to a lady like you packs has come down in the world it'd cut you to the heart to see the difference I'm at your service sir when you've been mine to go and see salt all in good time said Mr Gleed really unwilling to cut short the dialogue are you wanted at the walk Tom I left stove in my place come put down your pack and let me see said Mrs Gleed drawing a chair to the window and seating herself with much dignity don't you ask it mum said Bob entreatingly make no words said Mrs Gleed severely but do as I tell you amen I'm low that I am said Bob slowly depositing his pack on the step and beginning to untie it with unwilling fingers but what you order shall be done much thumbling in pauses between the sentences it's not as you buy a single thing on me I'd be sorry for you to do it but think of them poor women up in the villages there as never stir a hundred yards from home it'd be a pity for anybody to buy up their bargains Lord, it's as good as a junketing to them when they see me with my pack and I shall never pick up such bargains for them again least ways I've no time now though I'm off to lace them see here now, Bob went on become and wrap it again and holding up a scarlet woollen kerchief with an embroidered wreath in the corner he's a thing to make a lasses mouth and only two shillings and why why? because there's a bit of a moth hole in its plain ends Lord, I think the moths and the mildew were sent by Providence a purpose to cheapen the goods a bit for the good-looking woman as hadn't got much money if it hadn't been for the moths now every handkercher on them had gone to the rich handsome ladies like you mum at five shillings apiece not a farthing less but what does the moth do? why? it nibbles off three shillings of the price in no time and then the packman like me can carry to the poor lasses as live under the dark fact to make a bit of blaze for them Lord, it's as good as a fire to look at such handkercher Bob held it at a distance for admiration this gleam said sharply yes, but nobody wants a fire this time of year put these coloured things by let me look at your nets if you've got them amen, I told you how it had been said Bob flinging aside the coloured things with an air of desperation I'd know it'd turn you again you to look at such poultry articles as I carry here's a piece of figured Muslim now what's the use are you looking at it you might as well look at poor folk's picture mum, it'd only take away your appetite there's a yard in the middle on to the pattern all missed Lord, why it's a Muslim as the princess Victoria might have wore but added Bob flinging it behind him on to the turf as if to save Mrs. Gleg's eyes you'll be brought up by the hunks as white at pub's end that's where it'll go ten shillen for the whole lot ten yards counting the damage in five and twenty shillen you'd have been the price not a penny less but I'll say no more mum it's nothing to you a piece of Muslim like that you can afford to pay three times the money for a thing as isn't half so good you talk don't well, I've got a piece as you'll serve to make fun on bring me that Muslim said Mrs. Gleg it's a buck I'm partial to buck a, but it's a damaged thing said Bob in a tone of deprecating disgust you'd do nothing with it mum you'd give it to the cook I know you would and it'd be a pity she'd look too much like a lady in it for servants fetch it and let me see you measure it said Mrs. Gleg authoritatively Bob obeyed with ostentatious reluctance see what there is over measure he said holding forth the extra half yard while Mrs. Gleg was busy examining the damaged yard and throwing her head back to see how far the fault would be lost on a distant view I'll give you six shilling for it she said throwing it down with the air of a person who mentions an ultimatum didn't I tell you now mum as it had hurt your feelings to look at my pack that damaged bit turned your stomach now I see it has said Bob wrapping the Muslim up with the utmost quickness and apparently about to fasten up his pack you're used to seeing a different sort of article carried by Pacman when you lived at the stone house Pax has come down in the world I told you that my goods are for common folks Mrs. Pepper will give me ten shillings for that Muslim and be sorry as I didn't ask her more such articles answer either wearing they keep their colour till the threads melt away in the wash tub and that won't be while I'm young well seven shilling said Mrs. Glee put it out of your mind mum now do see Bob here's a bit of net then for you to look at before I tie up my pack just for you to see what my trades come to spotted and spring you see beautiful but yellow then lying by and got the wrong colour I could never have bought such net if it hadn't been yellow lost it took me a dealer study to know the valley of such articles when I began to carry a pack I was as ignorant as a pig net or calico was all the same to me I thought them things the most valley was the thickest I was took in dreadful for I'm a straightforward chap up to no tricks mum I can only say my nose is my own for if I went beyond I should lose myself pretty quick and I give five an eight for that piece of net if I was to tell you anything else I should be telling you fibs and five an eight I shall ask for it not a penny more for it's a woman's article and I like to accommodate the women five an eight for six yards as cheap as if it was only the dirt on it was paid for I don't mind having three yards of it said Mrs. Gleed why there's but six all together said Bob no mum it isn't worth your while you can go to the shop tomorrow and get the same pattern ready whiten it's only three times the money what's that to a lady like you he gave an emphatic tie to his bundle come lay me out that muslin said Mrs. Gleed he's eight shelling for it you will be joking said Bob looking up with a laughing face I see you was a pleasant lady when I first come to the window well put it me out said Mrs. Gleed but if I let you have it for ten shelling mum you'll be so good as not telling nobody I should be a laughing sock the trade you'd hoot me if they noted I'm obliged to make the lead as I asked more nor I do for my books else they'd find out I was a flat I'm blamed you don't insist upon buying the net for then I should have lost my two best bargains for Mrs. Pepper a fib zen and she's a rare customer let me look at the net again said Mrs. Gleed yearning after the cheap spots and sprigs now they were vanishing well I can't deny you mum said Bob handing it out A. see what a pattern now real lay some goods now this is a sort of article I'm recommending Mr. Tom to send out laws it's a finer thing for anybody has got a bit of money these lay some goods you'd make it breed like maggots if I was a lady with a bit of money I know one has put 30 pounds into them goods a lady with a cork lead but as sharp you wouldn't catch her running her head into a sack she'd see her way clear out of anything at four she'd be in a hurry to start well she let out 30 pounds to a young man in the drapery line and he laid it out a lay some goods and a super cargo talk them out and she got her 8% first go off and now you can't hold her but she must be sending out cargies with every ship till she's getting as rich as a dude bucks her 90s she doesn't live in this town now then mum if you're pleased to give me the net here's 15 shawings then for the two said Mrs. Glee but it's a shameful price no mum you'll never see that when you're up your knees in church at five years time I'm making you a present at the articles I am indeed that eighth inch shapes off my profits as clean as a razor now then sir continued Bob she'll bring his pack if you please I'll be glad to go and see about making Mr. Tom Sporting I've got another 20 pound to lay out my scene I shouldn't stay to say my catechism are for I know what to do with stop a bit Mr. Glee said the lady as her husband took his hat you never will give me the chance to speak you'll go away now and finish everything about this business and come back and tell me it's too late for me to speak about his own art and the head of the family on his mother's side and lay my guineas all full weight for him as he'll know who to respect when I'm laid in my coffin well Mrs. Glee say what you mean well then I desire as nothing may be done without my knowing I don't say as I shan't venture 20 pounds everything's right and safe and if I do Tom concluded Mrs. Glee turning impressively to her nephew I hope your alays bear it in mind and be grateful for such an art I mean you to pay me interest you know I don't approve a giving we never looked for that in my family thank you aunt said Tom rather proudly having the money only to me very well that's the dobson spirit said Mrs. Glee rising to get a knitting with the sense that any further remark after this would be backers salt the eminently briny chap having been discovered in a cloud of tobacco smoke at the anchor tavern Mr. Glee commenced inquiries which turned out satisfactorily enough to warrant the advance of the nesting to which Aunt Glee contributed 20 pounds and in this smallest beginning you see the ground of the fact which might otherwise surprise you namely Tom's accumulation of a fund unknown to his father that promised him no very long time to meet the mortality process of sagging to cover the deficit when once his attention had been turned to this source of gain Tom determined to make the most of it and lost on opportunity of obtaining information and extending his small enterprises in not telling his father he was influenced by that strange mixture of opposite feelings which often gives equal truth to those who blame an action and those who admire it partly it was that this inclination to confidence which is seen between near kindred that family repulsion which spoils the most sacred relations of our lives partly it was the desire to surprise his father with a great joy he did not see that it would have been to soothe the interval with a new hope and prevent the delirium of a too sudden elation at the time of Maggie's first meeting with Phillip Tom had already nearly 150 pounds of his own capital and while they were walking by the evening light in the red deeps he by the same evening light was riding into Lacy on his first journey on behalf of guests and co and revolving in his mind all the chances that by the end of another year he should have doubled his gains lifted off the obliquet of debt from his father's name and perhaps that he should be 21 have got a new start for himself on a higher platform of employment did he not desire it he was quite sure that he did end a book 5 chapter 2 book 5 chapter 3 of The Mill on the Floss this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org The Mill on the Floss by George Elliott book 5 Wheaton Tears The Wavering Balance I said that maybe he went home that evening from the red deeps and the mental conflict already begun you have seen clearly enough in her interview with Philip what that conflict was here suddenly was an opening in the rocky wall which shut in the narrow valley of humiliation where all her prospect was the remote unfathomed sky and some of the memory haunting earthly delights were no longer out of her reach she might have books converse, affection the feelings of the world from which her mind had not yet lost its sense of exile and it would be a kindness to Philip too who was pitiable, clearly not happy and perhaps he was an opportunity indicated for making her mind more worthy of its highest service perhaps the noblest, completest aboutness could hardly exist without some width of knowledge must she always live in this resigned imprisonment it was so blameless, so good a thing that there should be friendship between her and Philip the motives that for bad it was so unreasonable so un-christian but the severe monotonous warning came again and again that she was losing the simplicity and clearness of her life by admitting a ground of concealment and that by forsaking the simple rule of renunciation she was throwing herself under the seductive guidance of the illimitable ones she thought she had one strength to obey the warning before she allowed herself the next week to turn her steps in the evening to the red deeps but while she was resolved to say an affectionate farewell to Philip how she looked forward to that evening walk in the still-flagged shade of the hollows away from all that was harsh and un-lovely to the affectionate admiring looks that would meet her to the sense of comradeship that childish memories would give to wiser older talk to the certainty that Philip would care to hear everything she said which no one else cared for it was a half hour that it would be very hard to turn her back upon for the sense that there would be no other like it yet she said what she meant to say and she felt firm as well as sad Philip I have made up my mind it is right that we should give each other up in everything but memory I could not see you without concealment stay and know what you are going to say it is other people's wrong feelings that make concealment necessary but concealment is bad however it may be caused I feel that it would be bad for me for us both and then if our secret were discovered there would be nothing but misery dreadful anger and then we must hide after all we were used to seeing each other Philip's face had flushed and there was a momentary eagerness of expression as if he had been about to resist this decision with all his might but he controlled himself and said with assumed calmness well Maggie if we must part let us try and forget it for one half hour let us talk together a little while for the last time he took her hand and Maggie felt no reason to withdraw it his quietness made her all the more sure she had given him great pain and she wanted to show him how unwillingly she had given it they walked together hand in hand in silence let us sit down in the hollow said Philip where we stood the last time see how the dog roses have strewn the ground and spread their opal petals over it they sat down at the roots of the slanting ash I've been on my picture of you among the Scotch fairs Maggie said Philip so you must let me study your face a little while you stay since I am not to see it again please turn your head this way this was said in an entreating voice and it would have been very hard of Maggie to refuse the full lustrous face with a bright black coronet looked down like that of a divinity well pleased to be worshipped on the pale huge small featured face that was turned up to it I shall be sitting for my second portrait then she said smiling will it be larger than the other oh yes much larger it is an oil painting dark and strong and noble just issued from one of the fair trees when the stems are casting their afternoon shadows on the grass you seem to think more of painting than of anything now Philip perhaps I do said Philip rather sadly but I think of too many things so all sorts of seeds and get no great harvest from any one of them uncursed with susceptibility in every direction and effective faculty in none I care for painting and music I care for classical literature and modern literature I flutter always and fly in none but surely that is a happiness to have so many tastes to enjoy so many beautiful things when they are within your reach said Maggie musingly it always seemed to me a sort of clever stupidity only to have one sort of talent almost like a caro pigeon it might be a happiness to have many tastes if I were like other men said Philip bitterly I might get some power and distinction by mere mediocrity as they do at least I should get those middling satisfactions which make men contented to do without great ones I might think society is synods agreeable then but nothing could make life worth a purchase money of pain to me but some faculty that would lift me above the dead level of provincial existence yes there is one thing a passion answers as well as a faculty Maggie did not hear the last words she was struggling against the consciousness that Philip's words had said her own discontent vibrating again as it used to do I understand what you mean she said but I know so much less than you do I used to think I could have a bare life and could have kept on being the same every day and I must always be doing things in my consequence and never know anything better but dear Philip I think we are only like children that someone who is wiser is taken care of is it not right to resign ourselves entirely whatever may be denied us I have found great peace in that for the last two or three years even joy instead of doing my own will yes Maggie said Philip bare mentally and you're shutting yourself up in a narrow self delusive fanaticism which is only a way of escaping pain by starving into dullness or the highest powers of your nature joy and peace are not resignation resignation is the willing endurance of a pain that is not a laid that you don't expect to be a laid stupid faction is not resignation and it is stupid faction to remain in ignorance to shut up all the avenues by which the life of your fellow men might become known to you I am not resigned I am not sure that life is long enough to learn that lesson you are not resigned you are only trying to stupefy yourself Maggie's lips trembled she felt there was some truth in what Philip said and yet there was a deeper consciousness that for any immediate application it had to her conduct it was no better than falsity her double impression corresponded to the double impulse of the speaker Philip seriously believed what he said but he said it with vehemence because it made an argument against the resolution as to his wishes but Maggie's face made more childlike by the gathering tears touched him with a tender, less egotistic feeling he took her hand and said gently don't let us think of such things in this short half hour Maggie let us only care about being together we shall be friends in spite of separation we shall always think of each other I shall be glad to live as long as you are alive because I shall think there may always come a time when I can, when you'll let me help you in some way what a dear good brother you would have been Philip said Maggie smiling through the haze of tears I think you would have made as much fuss about me and been as pleased for me to love you as would have satisfied even me you would have loved me well enough to bear with me and forgive me everything that was what I always long let Tom should do I was never satisfied with the little of anything that is why it is better for me to do without earthly happiness altogether I never felt that I had enough music I wanted more instruments playing together I wanted voices to be fuller and deeper do you ever sing now Philip? she added abruptly as if she had forgotten what went before yes he said, every day almost but my voice is only middling like everything else in me I'll sing me something just one song I may listen to that before I go something you used to sing a lot on a Saturday afternoon when we had the drawing room all to ourselves and I put my apron over my head to listen I know said Philip and Maggie buried her face in her hands while he sang sort of what you love in her eyes it's plain and then said that's it isn't it oh no I won't stay said Maggie starting up it will only haunt me let us walk Philip I must go home she moved away so that he was obliged to rise and follow her Maggie he said in a tone of remonstrance don't persist in this willful senseless privation it makes me wretched to see you benumbing and cranking your nature in this way you were so full of life when you were a child I thought you'd be a brilliant woman all wheat and bright imagination and it flushes out in your face still until you draw that veil of dope essence over it why do you speak so bitterly to me Philip said Maggie because I foresee it will not end well you can never carry on this self-torture I shall have strength given me said Maggie tremulously no you will not Maggie no one has strength given to do what is unnatural it is me cowardice to seek safety indications no character becomes strong in that way you will be thrown into the world someday and then every rational satisfaction of your nature that you deny now will assault you like a savage appetite Maggie started and paused looking at Philip with alarm in her face Philip have dear you shaped me in this way you're a tempter no I'm not but love gives insight Maggie and insight often gives foreboding listen to me let me supply you with books do let me see you sometimes be your brother and teacher as you said at Lawson it is less wrong that you should see me than that you should be committing this long suicide Maggie felt unable to speak she shook her head and walked on in silence till I came to the end of the scotch furs and she put out her hand inside a party do you banish me from this place forever then Maggie surely I may come and walk in it sometimes if I meet you by chance there is no concealment in that it is the moment when our resolution seems about to become irrevocable when the fatal iron gates are about to close upon us that tests our strength then after hours of clear reasoning and firm conviction we snatched any sophistry that will nullify our long struggles and bring us to the defeat that we love better than victory Maggie felt her heart leap at this soft effusion of Philip's and they're passed over her face that almost imperceptible shock which accompanies any relief he saw it and they parted in silence Philip's sense of the situation was too complete for him not to be visited with glancing fears lest he had been intervening too presumptuously in the action of Maggie's conscience, perhaps for a selfish end but no, he persuaded himself his end was not selfish he had little hope that Maggie would ever return the strong feeling he had for her and it must be better for Maggie's future life when these petty family obstacles to her freedom had disappeared that the present should not be entirely sacrificed and that she should have some opportunity of culture, some interchange with the mind above the vulgar level of those she was now condemned to live with if we only look far enough off for the consequence of our actions we can always find some point in the combination of results by which those actions can be justified by adopting the point of view of a providence who arranges results or of a philosopher who traces them which will find it possible to obtain perfect complacency in choosing to do what is most agreeable to us in the present moment and it was in this way that Philip justified his subtle efforts to overcome Maggie's true prompting against a concealment that would introduce doubleness into her own mind and might cause me misery to those who have had the primary natural claim on her but there was a surplus of passion in him that made him half independent of justifying motives his longing to see Maggie and make an element in her life had in it some of that savage impulse to snatch and offer joy which springs from the life in which the mental and bodily constitution had made pain predominant he had not his full share in the common good of men he could not even pass muster with the insignificant but must be similar out for pity and accepted from what was a matter of course with ours even to Maggie he was an exception it was clear that the thought of his being her lover had never entered her mind do not think too hardly of Philip ugly and deformed people have great need of unusual virtues because they are likely to be extremely uncomfortable without them but the theory that unusual virtues spring by direct consequence out of personal disadvantages as animals get thicker wool in severe climates is perhaps a little over-strung the temptations of beauty are much dwelt upon but I fancy they only bear the same relation to those of ugliness as the temptation to excess at a feast where the delights are buried for eye and ear as well as pellet there's to the temptations that assail the desperation of hunger does not the hunger tower stand as the type of the utmost trial to what is human in us Philip had never been soothed by that mother's love which flows out to us in the greater abundance because our need is greater which clings to us the more tenderly because we are the less likely to be winners in a game of life and the sense of his father's affection and indulgence toward him is marred by the keen a perception of his father's faults kept aloof from all practical life as Philip had been and by nature half feminine and insensitiveness he had some of the woman's intolerant repulsion toward worldliness and the deliberate pursuit of sensual enjoyment and this one strong natural time of his life his relation as a son was like an aching limb to him perhaps there is inevitably something more but in a human being who is in any way unfavorably accepted from ordinary conditions until the good force has had time to triumph and it has rarely had time for that at two and twenty that force is present in Philip in much strength but the son himself looks feeble through the morning mists End of Book 5, Chapter 3 Recording by Marion Slawson Australia Book 5, Chapter 4 of The Mill on the Floss This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Michelle Harris The Mill on the Floss by George Elliott Book 5 Wheat and Tears Chapter 4 Another Love Scene Early in the following April nearly a year after that dubious parting you have just witnessed you may, if you like, again see Maggie entering the red deeps through the group of scotch furs but it is early afternoon and not evening and the edge of sharpness in the spring air makes her draw her large shawl close about her and trip along rather quickly though she looks round as usual that she may take in the sight of her beloved trees there is a more eager inquiring look in her eyes than there was last June and a smile is hovering about her lips as if some playful speech were awaiting the right hearer the hearer was not long in appearing take back your core in said Maggie drawing a book from under her shawl you were right in telling me she would do me no good but you were wrong in thinking I should wish to be like her would be a tenth muse then Maggie said Philip looking up in her face as we look at a first parting in the clouds that promises us a bright heaven once more not at all said Maggie laughing the muses were uncomfortable goddesses I think obliged always to carry roles and musical instruments about with them if I carried a harp in this climate you know I must have a green base cover for it and I should be sure to leave it behind me by mistake you agree with me in not liking Corrine then I didn't finish the book said Maggie as soon as I came to the blonde haired young lady reading in the park I shut it up and determined to read no further I foresaw that that light complexion girl would win away all the love from Corrine and make her miserable I'm determined to read no more books where the blonde haired women carry away all the happiness I should begin to have a prejudice against them if you could give me some story now where the dark woman triumphs it would restore the balance I want to avenge Rebecca and Flora McAvore and Mina and all the rest of the dark unhappy ones since you are my tutor you ought to preserve my mind from prejudices you are always arguing against prejudices well perhaps you will avenge the dark women in your own person and carry away all the love from your cousin Lucy she is sure to have some handsome young man of Saint Augs at her feet now and you have only to shine upon him your fair little cousin will be quite quenched in your beams Philip that is not pretty of you to apply my nonsense to anything real said Maggie looking hurt as if I with my old gowns and want of all accomplishments could be a rival of dear little Lucy who knows and does all sorts of charming things and is ten times prettier than I am even if I were odious and base enough to wish to be her rival besides I never go to Aunt Deans when anyone is there it is only because dear Lucy is good and loves me that she comes to see me and will have me go to see her sometimes Maggie said Philip with surprise it is not like you to take playfulness literally you must have been in Saint Augs this morning and brought away the infection of dullness well said Maggie smiling if you meant that for a joke it was a poor one but I thought it was a very good reproof I thought you wanted to remind me that I am vain and wish everyone to admire me most but it isn't for that that I'm jealous for the dark women not because I'm dark myself it's because I always care the most about the unhappy people if the blonde girl were forsaken I always take the side of the rejected lover in the stories then you would never have the heart to reject one yourself should you Maggie? said Philip flushing a little I don't know said Maggie hesitatingly then with a bright smile I think perhaps I could if he were very conceited and yet if he got extremely humiliated afterward I should relent I've often wondered Maggie Philip said with some effort whether you wouldn't really be more likely to love a man that other women were not likely to love that would depend on what they didn't like him for said Maggie laughing he might be very disagreeable he might look at me through an eyeglass stuck in his eye making a hideous face as young Tory does I should think other women are not fond of that but I never felt any pity for young Tory I've never any pity for conceited people because I think they carry their comfort about with them but suppose Maggie suppose it was a man who was not conceited who felt he had nothing to be conceited about who had been marked from childhood for a peculiar kind of suffering and to whom you were the day star of his life who loved you worshipped you so entirely that he felt it happiness enough for him if you would let him see you for rare moments Philip paused with a pang of dread lest his confession should cut short this very happiness a pang of the same dread that had kept his love mute through long months a rush of self-consciousness told him that he was besotted to have said all this Maggie's manner this morning had been as unconstrained and indifferent as ever but she was not looking indifferent now struck with the unusual emotion in Philip's tone she had turned quickly to look at him and as he went on speaking a great change came over her face a flush and slight spasm of the features such as we see in people who hear some news that will require them to readjust their conceptions of the past she was quite silent and walking on toward the trunk of a fallen tree she sat down as if she had no strength to spare for her muscles Maggie said Philip getting more and more alarmed in every fresh moment of silence I was a fool to say it forget that I've said it I shall be contented if things can be as they were the distress with which he spoke urged Maggie to say something I am so surprised Philip I had not thought of it and the effort to say this brought the tears down too has it made you hate me Maggie said Philip impetuously do you think I'm a presumptuous fool oh Philip said Maggie how can you think I have such feelings as if I were not grateful for any love but I had never thought of your being my lover it seems so far off like a dream only like one of the stories one imagines that I should ever have a lover then can you bear to think of me as your lover Maggie said Philip seating himself by her taking her hand in the elation of a sudden hope do you love me Maggie turned rather pale this direct question seemed not easy to answer but her eyes met Philips which were in this moment liquid and beautiful with beseeching love she spoke with hesitation yet with sweet simple girlish tenderness I think I could hardly love anyone better there is nothing but what I love you for she paused a little while and added but it will be better for us not to say anymore about it won't it dear Philip you know we couldn't even be friends if our friendship were discovered I have never felt that I was right in giving way about seeing you though it has been so precious to me in some ways and now the fear comes upon me strongly again that it will lead to evil but no evil has come Maggie and if you had been guided by that fear before you live through another dreary benumbing year instead of reviving into your real self Maggie shook her head it has been very sweet I know all the talking together and the books and the feeling that I had the walk to look forward to when I could tell you the thoughts that had come into my head while I was away from you but it has made me restless it has made me think a great deal about the world and I have impatient thoughts again I get weary of my home and then it cuts me to the heart afterward that I should ever have felt weary of my father and mother I think what you call being benumbed was better, better for me for then my selfish desires were benumbed Philip had risen again and was walking backward and forward impatiently no Maggie you have wrong ideas of self-conquest as I have often told you what you call self-conquest binding and deafening yourself to all but one train of impressions is only the culture of monomania in a nature like yours he had spoken with some irritation but now he sat down by her again and took her hand don't think of the past now Maggie think only of our love if you can really cling to me with all your heart every obstacle will be overcome in time we need only weight I can live on hope me, Maggie, tell me again it is possible for you to love me don't look away from me to that cloven tree it is a bad omen she turned her large dark glance upon him with a sad smile come, Maggie say one kind word or else you were better to me at Lorton you ask me if I should like you to kiss me, don't you remember and you promise to kiss me when you met me again you never kept the promise the recollection of that childish time came as a sweet relief to Maggie it made the present moment less strange to her she kissed him almost as simply and quietly as she had done when she was twelve years old Philip's eyes flashed with delight but his next words were words of discontent you don't seem happy enough, Maggie you are forcing yourself to say you love me out of pity no Philip said Maggie shaking her head in her old childish way I'm telling you the truth it is all new and strange to me but I don't think I could love anyone better than I love you I should like always to live with you to make you happy I have always been happy when I have been with you there is only one thing I will not do for your sake I will never do anything to wound my father you must never ask that from me no, Maggie, I will ask nothing I will bear everything I'll wait another year only for a kiss if you will only give me the first place in your heart no, said Maggie smiling I won't make you wait so long as that but then looking serious again she added as she rose from her seat but what would your own father say Philip oh it is quite impossible we can ever be more than friends brother and sister in secret as we have been let us give up thinking of everything else no, Maggie I can't give you up unless you are deceiving me unless you really only care for me as if I were your brother tell me the truth indeed I do Philip what happiness have I ever had so great as being with you since I was a little girl the days Tom was good to me and your mind is a sort of world to me you can tell me all I want to know I should never be tired of being with you they were walking hand in hand looking at each other Maggie indeed was hurrying along for she felt at time to be gone but the sense that their parting was near made her more anxious lest she should have unintentionally left some painful impression on Philip's mind it was one of those dangerous moments when speech is at once sincere and deceptive and above its average depth leaves flood marks which are never reached again they stop to part among the scotch furs then my life will be filled with hope Maggie and I shall be happier than other men in spite of all we do belong to each other for always whether we are apart or together yes Philip I should like never to part I should like to make your life very happy I am waiting for something else I wonder whether it will come Maggie smiled with glistening tears and then stooped her tall head to kiss the pale face that was full of pleading timid love like a woman's she had a moment of real happiness then a moment of belief that if there were sacrifice in this love it was all the richer and more satisfying she turned away and hurried home feeling that in the hour since she had trodden this road before a new era had begun for her the tissue of vague dreams must now get narrower and narrower and all the threads of thought and emotion be gradually absorbed in the woof of her actual daily life End of book 5 Chapter 4 Recording by Michelle Harris Book 5 Chapter 5 of The Mill on the Floss This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Michelle Harris The Mill on the Floss by George Elliott Book 5 Wheat and Tears Chapter 5 The Cloven Tree Secrets are rarely betrayed or discovered according to any program our fear has sketched out. Fear is almost always haunted by terrible dramatic scenes which recur in spite of the best-argued probabilities against them. And during a year that Maggie had had the birthing of concealment on her mind the possibility of discovery had continually presented itself under the form of a sudden meeting with her father or Tom when she was walking with Philip in the red deeps. She was aware that this was not one of the most likely events that most completely symbolized her inward dread. Those slight indirect suggestions which are dependent on apparently trivial coincidences and incalculable states of mind are the favorite machinery of fact but are not the stuff in which imagination is apt to work. Certainly one of the persons about whom Maggie's fears were furthest from troubling themselves was her aunt Pullet on whom, seeing that she did not live at St. Augs, and was neither sharp-eyed nor sharp-tempered, it would surely have been quite whimsical of them to fix rather than on Aunt Glegg. And yet the channel of fatality, the pathway of the lightning was no other than Aunt Pullet. She did not live at St. Augs but the road from Garum Furs lay by the red deeps at the end opposite that by which Maggie entered. The day after Maggie's last meeting with Philip, being a Sunday in which Mr. Pullet was bound to appear in funeral hat-band and scarf at St. Augs Church, Mrs. Pullet made this the occasion of dining with Sister Glegg and taking tea with poor Sister Tulliver. Sunday was the one day in the week on which Tom was at home in the afternoon, and today the brighter spirits he had been in of late had flowed over in unusually cheerful open chat with his father, and in the invitation come, Magsy, you come too when he strolled out with his mother in the garden to see the advancing cherry blossoms. He had been better pleased with Maggie since she had been less odd and ascetic. He was even getting rather proud of her. Several persons had remarked in his hearing that his sister was a very fine girl. Today there was a peculiar brightness in her face due in reality to an undercurrent of excitement which had as much doubt and pain as pleasure in it but it might pass for a sign of happiness. You look very well, my dear, said Aunt Pullet, shaking her head sadly as they sat round the tea table. I never thought your girl would be so good-looking, Bessie, but you must wear pink, my dear, that blue thing as your Aunt Glegg gave you turns you into a crow-flower. Jane never was tasty. Why don't you wear that gown of mine? It is so pretty and so smart, Aunt. I think it's too showy for me, at least for my other clothes that I must wear with it. To be sure it'd be unbecoming if it wasn't well known you've got them belonging to you as can afford to give you such things when they've done with them themselves. It stands to reason I must give my own niece clothes now and then, such things as I buy every year and never wear anything out. And as for Lucy there's no given to her for she's got everything of the choicest. Sister Dean may well hold her head up but she looks dreadful yellow, poor thing. I doubt this liver complaint will carry her off. That's what this new vicar, this Dr. Kinn, said in the funeral sermon today. Ah, he's a wonderful preacher by all account, isn't he, Sophie? said Mrs. Tulliver. Why, Lucy had got a collar on this blessed day, continued Mrs. Pullet, with her eyes fixed in a ruminating manner. As I don't say I haven't got as good, but I must look out my best to match it. Miss Lucy's called the bell of St. Augs, they say. That's a curious word, observed Mr. Pullet, on whom the mysteries of etymology sometimes fell with an oppressive weight. Poo, said Mr. Tulliver, jealous for Maggie. She's a small thing, not much of a figure. But fine feathers make fine birds. I see nothing to admire so much in those diminutive women. The men, out of proportion. When I chose my wife, I chose her the right size, neither too little nor too big. The poor wife, with her withered beauty, smiled complacently. But the men aren't all big, said Uncle Pullet, not without some self-reference. A young fellow may be good-looking and yet not be a six-foot like Master Tom here. Ah, it's poor talking about littleness and bigness. See, they're straight, said Aunt Pullet. There's that mis-made son of lawyer Wacom's. I saw him at church today. Dear, dear, to think of the property he's like to have, and they say he's very queer and lonely, doesn't like much company. I shouldn't wonder if he goes out of his mind, for we never come along the road, but he's a scrambling out of the trees and brambles at the red deeps. This wide statement, by which Mrs. Pullet represented twice-seen Philip at the spot indicated, produced an effect on Maggie which was all the stronger because Tom sat opposite her and she was intensely anxious to look indifferent. At Philip's name she had blushed and the blush deepened every instant from consciousness, until the mention of the red deeps made her feel as if the whole secret were betrayed and she dared not even hold her teaspoon lest she should show how she trembled. She sat with her hands clasped under the table, not daring to look round. Happily her father was seated on the same side with herself, beyond her uncle Pullet, and could not see her face without stooping forward. Her mother's voice brought the first relief, turning the conversation, for Mrs. Tulliver was always alarmed when the name of Wacom was mentioned in her husband's presence. Gradually Maggie recovered composure enough to look up. But he turned away his head immediately, and she went to bed that night wondering if he had gathered any suspicion from her confusion. Perhaps not. Perhaps he would think it was only her alarm at her aunt's mention of Wacom before her father. That was the interpretation her mother had put on it. To her father Wacom was like a disfiguring disease of which he was obliged to endure the consciousness but was exasperated to have recognized by others. And no amount of sensitiveness in her about her father could be surprising, Maggie thought. But Tom was too keen-sided to rest satisfied with such an interpretation. He had seen clearly enough that there was something distinct from anxiety about her father in Maggie's excessive confusion. In trying to recall all the details that could give shape to his suspicions he remembered only lately hearing his mother scold Maggie for walking in the red deeps when the ground was wet and bringing home shoes clogged with red soil. Still Tom, retaining all his old repulsion for Philip's deformity, shrank from attributing to his sister the probability of feeling more than a friendly interest in such an unfortunate exception to the common run of men. Tom's was a nature which had a sort of superstitious repugnance to everything exceptional. A love for a deformed man would be odious in any woman in a sister intolerable. But if she had been carrying on any kind of intercourse whatever with Philip a stop must be put to it at once. She was disobeying her father's strongest feelings and her brother's express commands, besides compromising herself by secret meetings. He left home the next morning in that watchful state of mind which turns the most ordinary course of things into pregnant coincidences. That afternoon, about half past three o'clock, Tom was standing on the wharf talking with Bob Jacob about the probability of the good ship Adelaide coming in in a day or two with results highly important to both of them. A said Bob, parenthetically, as he looked over the fields on the other side of the river. There goes that crooked young Wacom. I know him but his shatter is far off as I can see him. I'm allies lighting on him on that side of the river. A sudden thought seemed to have darted through Tom's mind. I must go, Bob, he said. I've something to attend to, hurrying off to the warehouse where he left notice for someone to take his place. He was called away home on peremptory business. The swiftest pace in the shortest road took him to the gate and he was pausing to open it deliberately that he might walk into the house with an appearance of perfect composure when Maggie came out at the front door in bonnet and shawl. His conjecture was fulfilled and he waited for her at the gate. She started violently when she saw him. Tom, how is it you have come home? Is there anything to matter? Maggie spoke in a low, tremulous voice. I'm come to walk with you to the red deeps and meet Philip Wacom, said Tom. The central fold in his brow, which had become habitual with him, deepening as he spoke. Maggie stood helpless, pale and cold. By some means then Tom knew everything. At last she said, I'm not going, and turned around. Yes, you are, but I want to speak to you first. Where's my father? Out on horseback. And my mother? In the yard, I think, with the poultry. I can go in then without her seeing me. They walked in together and Tom, entering the parlour, said to Maggie, come in here. She obeyed and he closed the door behind her. Now, Maggie, tell me this instant everything that has passed between you and Philip Wacom. Does my father know anything? said Maggie, still trembling. No, said Tom indignantly, but he shall know if you attempt to use deceit toward me any further. I don't wish to use deceit, said Maggie, fleshing into resentment at hearing this word applied to her conduct. Tell me the whole truth then. Perhaps you know it. Never mind whether I know it or not, tell me exactly what has happened or my father shall know everything. I tell it for my father's sake then. Yes, it becomes you to profess affection for your father when you have despised his strongest feelings. You never do wrong, Tom, said Maggie, tauntingly. Not if I know it, answered Tom with proud sincerity. But I have nothing to say to you beyond this. Tell me what has passed between you and Philip Wacom. When did you first meet him in the red deeps? A year ago, said Maggie quietly, Tom's severity gave her a certain fund of defiance and kept her sense of error and abeyance. You need to ask me no more questions. We have been together for nearly a year. We have met and walked together often. He has lent me books. Is that all? said Tom, looking straight at her with his frown. Maggie paused a moment, then determined to make an end of Tom's right to accuse her of deceit, she said haughtily. No, not quite all. On Saturday he told me that he loved me. I didn't think of it before then. I had only thought of him as an old friend. The expression of disgust. I told him that I loved him, too. Tom was silent a few moments, looking on the ground and frowning with his hands in his pockets. At last he looked up and said coldly, Now then, Maggie, there are but two courses for you to take. Either you vow solemnly to me, with your hand on my father's Bible, that you will never have another meeting or speak another word in private with Philip Wacom. Or you refuse, and I tell you everything. And this month, when by my exertions he might be made happy once more, you will cause him the blow of knowing that you are a disobedient, deceitful daughter who throws away her own respectability by clandestine meetings with the son of a man that has helped to ruin her father. Choose. Tom ended with cold decision, going up to the large Bible, drawing it forward and opening it at the flyleaf where the writing was. It was a crushing alternative to Maggie. Tom, she said, urged out of pride into pleading. Don't ask me that. I will promise you to give up all intercourse with Philip if you will let me see him once or even only write to him and explain everything. To give it up as long as it would ever cause any pain to my father. I feel something for Philip, too. He is not happy. I don't wish to hear anything I have said exactly what I mean. Choose. And quickly, lest my mother should come in. If I give you my word that will be as strong a bond to me as if I laid my hand on the Bible. I don't require that to bind me. Do what I require, said Tom. I can't trust you, Maggie. There is no consistency in you. Put your hand on this Bible and say, I renounce all private speech and intercourse with Philip Wacom from this time forth. Else you will bring shame on us all and grief on my father and what is the use of my exerting myself and giving up everything else for the sake of paying my father's debts if you are to bring madness and vexation on him just when he might be easy and hold up his head once more. Oh, Tom, will the debts be paid soon? said Maggie, clasping her hands with a sudden flash of joy across her wretchedness. If things turn out as I expect, said Tom, but he added, his voice trembling with indignation, while I have been contriving and working that my father may have some peace of mind before he dies, working for the respectability of our family, you have done all you can to destroy both. Maggie felt a deep movement of compunction. For the moment her mind seized to contend against what she felt to be cruel and unreasonable, and in herself she justified her brother. Tom, she said in a low voice, it was wrong of me, but I was so lonely and I was sorry for Phillip, and I think enmity and hatred are wicked. Nonsense, said Tom, your duty was clear enough, say no more but promise in the words I told you. I must speak to Phillip once more. You will go with me now and speak to him. I give you my word not to meet him or write to him again without your knowledge. That is the only thing I will say. I will put my hand on the Bible if you like. Say it then. Maggie later hand on the page of manuscript and repeated the promise. Tom closed the book and said, now let us go. Not a word was spoken as they walked along. Maggie was suffering in anticipation of what Phillip was about to suffer, and dreading the calling words that would fall on him from Tom's lips. But she felt it was in vain to attempt anything but submission. Tom had his terrible clutch on her conscience and her deepest dread. She writhed under the demonstrable truth of the character he had given to her conduct, and yet her whole soul rebelled against it as unfair from its incompleteness. He, meanwhile, felt the impetus of his indignation diverted toward Phillip. He did not know how much of an old boyish repulsion and of mere personal pride and animosity was concerned in the bitter severity of the words by which he meant to do the duty of a son and a brother. Tom was not given to inquire subtly into his own motives any more than into other matters of an intangible kind. He was quite sure that his own motives as well as actions were good, else he would have had nothing to do with them. Maggie's only hope was that something might, for the first time, have prevented Phillip from coming. Then there would be delay, then she might get Tom's permission to write to him. Her heart beat with double violence when they got under the scotch furs. It was the last moment of suspense, she thought. Phillip always met her soon after she got beyond them. But they passed across the more open green space and entered the narrow bushy path by the mound. Another turning and they came so close upon him that both Tom and Phillip stopped suddenly within a yard of each other. There was a moment's silence in which Phillip darted a look of inquiry at Maggie's face. He saw an answer there in the pale parted lips and the terrified tension of the large eyes. Her imagination, always rushing extravagantly beyond an immediate impression, saw her tall, strong brother grasping the feeble Phillip bodily, crushing him and trampling on him. Do you call this acting the part of a man and a gentleman, sir? Tom said in a voice of harsh scorn as soon as Phillip's eyes were turned on him again. What do you mean? answered Phillip haughtily. Mean, stand farther from me lest I should lay hands on you and I'll tell you what I mean. I mean taking advantage of a young girl's righteousness and ignorance to get her to have secret meetings with you. I mean daring to trifle with the respectability of a family that has a good and honest name to support. I deny that, interrupted Phillip impetuously. I could never trifle with anything that affected your sister's happiness. She is dearer to me than she is to you. I honor her more than you can ever honor her. I would give up my life to her. Don't talk high-flown sense to me, sir. Do you mean to pretend that you didn't know it would be injurious to her to meet you here week after week? Do you pretend you had any right to make professions of love to her, even if you had been a fit husband for her, when neither her father nor your father would ever consent to a marriage between you, and you, you to try and worm yourself into the affections of a handsome girl who is not 18 and has been shut out from the world by her father's misfortunes. That's your crooked notion of honor, is it? I call it base treachery. I call it taking advantage of circumstances to win what's too good for you, what you'd never get by fair means. It is manly of you to talk in this way to me, said Phillip bitterly, his whole frame shaken by violent emotions. Giants have an immemorial right to stupidity and insolent abuse. You are incapable, even of understanding what I feel for your sister. I feel so much for her that I could even desire to be at friendship with you. I should be very sorry to understand your feelings, said Tom with scorching contempt. What I wish is that you should understand me, that I shall take care of my sister, and that if you dare to make the least attempt to come near her, or to write to her, or to keep the slightest hold on her mind, your puny miserable body that ought to have put modesty into your mind, shall not protect you, I'll thrash you, I'll hold you up to public scorn, who wouldn't laugh at the idea of your turning lover to a fine girl. Tom and Maggie walked on in silence for some yards. He burst out in a convulsed voice. Stay, Maggie, said Phillip, making a strong effort to speak, then looking at Tom. You have dragged your sister here, I suppose, and you may stand by while you threaten and insult me. These naturally seem to you the right means to influence me, but you are mistaken. Let your sister speak. If she says she is bound to give me up, I shall abide by her wishes to the slightest word. It was for my father's sake, Phillip, said Maggie imploringly. Tom threatens to tell my father, and he couldn't bear it. I have promised, I have vowed solemnly in her course without my brother's knowledge. It is enough, Maggie. I shall not change, but I wish you to hold yourself entirely free. But trust me, remember that I can never seek for anything but good to what belongs to you. Yes, said Tom, exasperated by this attitude of Phillips, you can talk of seeking good for her and what belongs to her now. Did you seek her good before? From risk, perhaps. But I wished her to have a friend for life, who would cherish her, who would do her more justice than a coarse and narrow-minded brother that she has always lavished her affections on. Yes, my way of befriending her is different from yours, and I'll tell you what is my way. I'll save her from disobeying and disgracing her father. I'll save her from throwing herself away on you, from making herself a laughing-stock, from being flouted by a man like your father because she's not good enough for his son. You know well enough what sort of justice and cherishing you were preparing for her. I'm not to be imposed upon by fine words. I can see what actions mean. Come away, Maggie. He seized Maggie's right wrist as he spoke, and she put out her left hand. Philip clasped it in an instant with one eager look and then hurried away. Tom and Maggie walked on in silence for some yards. He was still holding her wrist tightly as if he were compelling a culprit from the scene of action. At last Maggie, with a violent snatch, drew her hand away and her pent-up, long-gathered irritation burst into utterance. Don't suppose that I think you are right, Tom, or that I bow to your will. I despise the feelings you have shown in speaking to Philip. I detest your insulting, unmanly conclusions to his deformity. You have been reproaching other people all your life. You have been always sure you yourself are right. It is because you have not a mind large enough to see that there is anything better than your own conduct and your own petty aims. Certainly, said Tom Cooley, I don't see that your conduct is better or your aims either. If your conduct and Philip Wakeham's conduct has been right, are you ashamed of its being known? Answer me that. I know what I have aimed at in my conduct and I have succeeded. Pray, what good is your conduct brought to you or anyone else? I don't want to defend myself, said Maggie, still with vehemence. I know I have been wrong often, continually. But yet, sometimes, when I have done wrong, it has been because I have feelings that you would be the better for if you had them. In fault ever. If you had done anything very wrong, I should be sorry for the pain it brought you. I should not want punishment to be heaped on you. But you have always enjoyed punishing me. You have always been hard and cruel to me, even when I was a little girl and always loved you better than anyone else in the world. You would let me go crying to bed without forgiving me. You have no pity. You have no sense of your own imperfection and your own sins. It is a sin to be hard. It is not fitting for a mortal, for a Christian. You are nothing but a Pharisee. You thank God for nothing but your own virtues. You think they are great enough to win you everything else. You have not even a vision of feelings by the side of which your shining virtues are mere darkness. Well, said Tom, with cold scorn, if your feelings are so much better than mine, let me see you show them in some way, then by conduct that is likely to disgrace us all, then by ridiculous flights first into one extreme and then into another. Pray, how have you shown your love that you talk of, either to me or my father, by disobeying and deceiving us? I have a different way of showing my affection. Because you are a man, Tom, and have power and can do something in the world. Then if you can do nothing, submit to those that can. So I will submit to what I acknowledge and feel to be right. I will submit even to what is unreasonable from my father, but I will not submit to it from you. You boast of your virtues as if they purchased your right to be cruel and unmanly as you have been today. Don't suppose I would give up Philip Wakeham in obedience to you. The deformity you insult would make me cling to him and care for him the more. Very well, that is your view of things, said Tom more coldly than ever. You need say no more to show me what a wide distance there is between us. Let us remember that in future and be silent. Tom went back to St. Augs to fulfill an appointment with his Uncle Dean and received directions about a journey on which he was to set out the next morning. Maggie went up to her own room to pour out all that indignant remonstrance against which Tom's mind was close barred in bitter tears. Then, when the first burst of unsatisfied anger was gone by, came the recollection of that quiet time before the pleasure which had ended in today's misery had perturbed the clearness and simplicity of her life. She used to think in that time that she had made great conquest and won a lasting stand on serene heights above worldly temptations and conflict. And here she was down again in the thick of a hot strife with her own and others' passions. Life was not so short then, and perfect rest was not so near as she had dreamed when she was two years younger. There was more struggle for her and perhaps more falling. If she had felt that she was entirely wrong and that Tom had been entirely right, she could sooner have recovered more inward harmony. But now her penitence and submission were constantly obstructed by resentment that would present itself to her no other wise than as a just indignation. Her heart bled for Philip. She went on recalling the insults that had been flung at him with so vivid a conception of what he had felt under them that it was almost like a sharp bodily pain to her, making her beat the floor with her foot and tighten her fingers on her palm. And yet how was it that she was now and then conscious of a certain dim background of relief in the fourth separation from Philip? Surely it was only because the sense of a deliverance from concealment was welcome at any cost. End of Book 5, Chapter 5 Recording by Michelle Harris Book 5, Chapter 6 of The Mill on the Floss This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org The Mill on the Floss by George Elliott Book 5, Wheat and Tears Chapter 6 The Hard One Triumph Three weeks later, when Doral Coat Mill was at its prettiest moment in all the year the great chestnuts and blossom in the grass all deep and daisied Tom Tellever came home to it earlier than usual in the evening and passed over the bridge he looked with the old deep-rooted affection at the respectable red brick house which always seemed tearful and inviting inside let the rooms be as bare and the hearts as sad as they might inside there is a very pleasant light in Tom's blue-gray eyes as he glances at the house windows that fold in his brow never disappears but it is not unbecoming it seems to imply a strength of will that may possibly be without harshness when the eyes and mouth are the most expressed expression his firm step becomes quicker and the corners of his mouth rebel against the compression which is meant to forget a smile the eyes and the parlor were not turned toward the bridge just then and the group there was sitting in an unexpected silence Mr. Tellever and his armchair tired with a long ride and ruminating with a worn look fixed chiefly on Maggie who was bending over her sewing while her mother was making the tea on her own foot why what's up now Tom said his father you're a bit earlier than usual oh there was nothing more for me to do so I came away well mother Tom went up to his mother and kissed her a sign of unusual good humor with him hardly a word or look had passed between him and Maggie in all the three weeks but his usual incommunicativeness at home prevented this from being noticeable to their parents father said Tom when they had finished tea do you know exactly how much money there is in the ten box only a hundred and ninety three pound said Mr. Tellever you brought less late but young fellows like to have their own way with their money though I didn't do as I liked before I was of age he spoke with rather timid discontent are you quite sure that the some father said Tom I wish you would take the trouble to fetch the ten box down I think you have perhaps made a mistake how should I make a mistake said his father sharply I've counted it often enough but I can fetch it if you won't believe me it was always an incident Mr. Tellever liked in his gloomy life to fetch the ten box and count the money don't go out of the room mother said Tom as he saw her moving when his father was gone upstairs and isn't Maggie to go said Mrs. Tellever because somebody must take away the things just as she likes said Tom indifferently that was a cutting word to Maggie her heart had leaped with a sudden conviction that Tom was going to tell their father the debts could be paid and Tom would have let her be absent when that news was told but she carried away the tray and came back immediately the feeling of injury on her own behalf could not predominate at that moment Tom drew to the corner of the table near his father when the ten box was being light falling on them made conspicuous the worn sour gloom of the dark-eyed father and the suppressed joy in the face of the fair complexion son the mother and Maggie sat at the other end of the table the one in blank patience the other in palpitating expectation Mr. Tellever counted out the money setting it in order on the table and then said glancing sharply at Tom there now you see I was right enough he paused looking at the money with bitter despondency there's more nor 300 wanting it'll be a fine while before I can save that losing that 42 pound with a corn was a sore job this world's been too many for me it's took four year to lay this by it's much if I'm above ground for another four year I must trust him to you to pay him he went on with a trembling voice if you keep in the same mind now you're coming to age but you're like enough to bury me first he looked up in Tom's face with a quarrelous desire for some assurance no father said Tom speaking with energetic decision though there was trimmer discernible in his voice too you will live to see the debts all paid you shall pay them with your own hand his tone implied something more than mere hopefulness or resolution a slight electric shock seemed to pass through Mr. Tellever and he kept his eyes fixed on Tom with a look of eager inquiry while Maggie, unable to restrain herself rushed to her father's side and knelt down by him Tom was silent a little while before he went on a good while ago my uncle Glag let me a little money to trade with and that has answered I have 320 pounds in the bank his mother's arms around his neck as soon as the last words were uttered and she said half crying oh my boy I knew you'd make everything alright again when you got a man but his father was silent the flood of emotion himmed in all power of speech both Tom and Maggie were struck with fear lest the shock of joy might even be fatal but the blessed relief of tears came the broad chest heaved the muscles of the face gave way and the gray haired man burst into loud sobs the fit of weeping gradually subsided and he sat quiet recovering the regularity of his breathing at last he looked up at his wife and said in a gentle tone Bessie you must come and kiss me now the lad has made you amends you'll see a bit of comfort again when she had kissed him and he had held her hand a minute his thoughts went back to the money I wish you'd brought me the money to look at Tom he said fingering the sovereigns on the table I should have felt sure you shall see it tomorrow father said Tom my uncle Dean has appointed the creditors to meet tomorrow at the golden lion but in order to dinner for them at two o'clock my uncle Glegg and he will both be there it was advertised in the messenger on Saturday then Wakeham knows on it said Mr. Tellover his eye kindling with triumphant fire ah he went on with a long drawn guttural enunciation taking out his snuff box the only luxury he had left himself and tapping it with something of his old air of defiance I'll get from under his thumb now though I must leave the old mill I thought I could have held out to die here but I can't we've got a glass of nothing in the house have we Bessie yes said Mrs. Tellover drawing out her much reduced bunch of keys there's some brandy sister Dean brought me when I was ill get at me then get at me I feel a bit weak Tom my lad he said in a stronger voice when he had taken some brandy and water you shall make a speech to him I'll tell him it's you who's got the best part of the money they'll see I'm honest at last and he got an honest son wake him and be fine and glad to have a son like mine find straight fellow instead of that poor crooked creature you'll prosper in the world my lad you'll maybe see the day when wake him and his son will be around or two below you you'll like enough to be tamed to partnership as your uncle Dean was before you you're in the right way for it and then there's nothing to hinder you're getting rich and if ever you're rich enough mind this try and get the old mill again Mr. Tulliver threw himself back in his chair his mind which had so long been the home of nothing but bitter discontent and foreboding suddenly filled by the magic of joy with visions of good fortune but some subtle influence prevented him from foreseeing the good fortune as happening to himself shake hands with me my lad he said suddenly putting out his hand it's a great thing when a man can be proud as he's got a good son I've had that luck Tom never lived to taste another moment so delicious as that and Maggie couldn't help forgetting her own grievances Tom was good and in the sweet humility that springs in us all in moments of true admiration and gratitude she felt that the faults he had to pardon in her had never been redeemed as his faults were she felt no jealousy this evening that for the first time she seemed to be thrown into the background of the father's mind there was much more talk before bedtime Mr. Tulliver naturally wanted to hear all the particulars of Tom's trading adventures and he listened with growing excitement and delight he was curious to know what had been said on every occasion if possible what had been thought and Bob Jacobs part in the business threw him into particular outbursts of sympathy with the triumphant knowingness of that remarkable Pac-Man Bob's juvenile history that had come under Mr. Tulliver's knowledge was recalled with that sense of astonishing promise it displayed which is observable in all reminiscences of the childhood of great men it was well that there was this interest of narrative to keep under the vague but fierce sense of triumph over Wacom which would otherwise have been the channel his joy would have rushed into with dangerous force even as it was that feeling from time to time gave threats of its ultimate mastery exclamation it was long before Mr. Tulliver got to sleep that night and the sleep when it came was filled with vivid dreams at half past five o'clock in the morning when Mrs. Tulliver was already rising he alarmed her by starting up with a sort of smothered shout and looking round in a bewildered way at the walls of the bedroom what's the matter Mr. Tulliver said his wife he looked at her still with a puzzled expression and said at last ah, I was dreaming did I make a noise I thought I'd got hold of him End of book five chapter six