 If you look up freshman advice on YouTube, you're gonna get a lot of these beauty gurus telling you all these nice uplifting bits of insight. The thing is though, they're beauty gurus. They all look way too good to be giving practical advice for most kids. High school's a cake walk for them, they look incredible. They're all holding phones in their videos, why are they doing that? Most of the embarrassing stories are like dropping books in middle hallways, oh how traumatic. Do you want to know my embarrassing first day story? I leaned against the wall and I accidentally triggered a fire alarm. That's actually a lie, that didn't happen. But that would have been a good story go off if it did happen. I'm entering my senior year. I went to normal public high school, fancy charter school, and even a cushioned alternative school for the criminally insane. I've been around and I've seen every single kind of freshman there is. And do you want to know what? I have the most legit pointers that you can find anywhere else on the internet. There's no need for wiki hat with me guys. This is your one stop shop on how to survive freshman year, okay? Are you buckled up? Radical. Do not stress out. Do you realize how silly you're being by worrying? Yeah, it's your first day. Yeah, you have no idea what to do. This is something totally new, but guess what? You're entering with a new wave of kids who are just as lost and scared as you are. You have to be a moron if you think that you're the only one who doesn't know what's going on. You have to be an even bigger moron if you think that the schools don't realize and prep for this too. Feel free to get lost. Feel free to not be able to open up your locker. Feel free to walk into the wrong classroom. Everyone is expecting you to. This is the free period where you can get away with this stuff. Your concerns are lost in a sea of other people's concerns. You do not matter. The first day is kind of like the Hunger Games where you have to dress to impress and eventually all you guys slaughter each other. Everybody's nervous, they take it way too seriously. Everything that happens is forgotten in a week and eventually everyone you know is dead. Do not stand in the middle of the hallway. If there is something that these beauty gurus all got right, it's that you're not supposed to be a human roadblock when everyone else is trying to get past you. Stick to the walls or go to the bathroom if you need to stand still, dummy. Keep your head low on the first day and observe. What's the lunch situation like? Where are your old friends who look like new friends? What is the atmosphere in every single classroom? Get a lay of the land. Be strategic and come back tomorrow guns blazing with better knowledge of what's up. Please for the love of God keep good hygiene. As a freshman you got to smell fresh and so you're still a pubescent troll. You're not allowed to go weeks without showering until your junior year depression hits. Do you want friends? Shower first then we'll talk. Get involved in stuff like a nerd. Whether you're planning for college or not, it's super cool to have extra stuff on your resume later on. Employers eat that stuff up. Plus half the clubs at your school are probably going to Disney World in a couple years anyway. You're probably thinking oh I'm too old for Disney World, that's not fun anymore. Yeah you went with your mom and siblings. Try going to Disney World with a group of your 17 year old friends down the road. That is a thousand times more fun. I get it, you're on YouTube right now, you're on the internet, you're probably home by, you're thinking oh I'm anti-social. Guess what, you should probably leave your house at least once a week. Quit spending most of your time inside. Most of the stuff that you're actually going to remember from this time period are adventures you go on with your friends. Break into neighborhood pools, write dirty words on the inside of that abandoned, boarded up house in town. Walk around past curfew. That's not the fun of being a kid, just don't do anything to hurt yourself or anyone else and you should be good. Date everybody, date girls, date boys, date non-binary folks. Experiment, break up, get your emotions drop kicked into Mount Doom of Mordor. Here's the thing, you're still young, you're still a baby. You're gonna value some experience under your belt when you're ready to get legit in a few years. Do not be cocky. Sit the frick down son, you ain't all that, you were just in middle school like 15 minutes ago. Don't bother scrapping with the upperclassmen, they don't care and they can see right through your cute little swag charade. Go sip on your juice box with the rest of your peers until you get your act together. Do not date seniors. If they say you're so mature for your age, run. If they say you're not like other freshmen, run. It's all lies, it's all fake, it's all cheats. 99.9% of the time they just want to do the hanky-panky vibes with a 14 year old and leave you in the dust because you're still an easily manipulated baby. They're savage, they have no heart and they have zero chill. Do not send nude pictures. For the love of God, every picture of yourself that you send is equivalent to handing a loaded gun to somebody. What happens if they form beef with you? That gets dropped on Instagram and suddenly everybody knows what your boobies look like. If you're extra lucky, cops will get involved since, you know, sending pictures of your 14 year old ding-dong is low-key illegal as frick. Do you want to get thrown on to one of those sex offender registries? Knock on all the doors in your neighborhood when you're 40 years old and your hair's falling out? Hello ma'am, I moved in down the road. I'm just letting you know that I'm a registered sex offender. Oh really? What did you do? I sent booty pics to my senior boyfriend and freshman year but it's okay because I know that he low-key loved me deep down and he leaked my pictures and he got mad, it's okay. It's fine, even though he's fathering all the babies of my 14 year old friends at the time, it's... I understand. A lot of y'all are gonna do this anyway. It's just don't even bother listening to me. Why don't you even watch this video if you're not gonna do what I suggest. At the very least, do not include your face in anything. For the love of God, don't... Don't be an idiot. Don't get pregnant. If you're doing the heterosexual sex vibes with your not-senior significant other, make sure that there's some protection going on. Condoms, pills, any of those other fancy alternatives. They're all good and they cost a lot less than a human baby. I promise you, kids cost a lot more than you're able to afford flipping burgers at that fast-food restaurant down the road. Breakups! They are going to happen, I promise you, and they are gonna hurt. They're gonna sting and they're gonna build character in you. Feel free to lay on the couch, cry for a day eating cookie dough. You're totally allowed to, it's encouraged. Just don't do anything stupid like alcohol, drugs, self-harm. No guy or girl is worth ruining your life over, you silly goose. Especially when you're still a baby. In the heat of the moment, it's important to remember, 30 years down the road, you're not gonna be single and hopping around bars thinking yourself, man, this dude was hot and stuff, but he's not as great as that senior who slept with my friend when I was 14. He's the reason I can never trust anyone again! Last and most importantly, I'm gonna sound like your parents for a sec. Watch any other video on this subject on YouTube and they're all gonna tell you to focus on your schoolwork. Why? Because it's the only thing that actually matters to them when they're making the video. I get it, all the social stuff is the most important thing in the world. I pinky promise you, half these kids that you're chilling with aren't gonna be in the picture in a few months. High school's dramatic. That's why there's so many movies about it. Everything changes at a rapid pace and that's kind of half the fun. The drama is intense and important in the moment, but in a couple weeks, it's gonna be totally insignificant. I can't even remember half the stuff that went down my freshman year, but I do remember the high and low emotions that were associated with them. Consider your years in high school as like a beta version of your life. As you mingle, you work, you eventually realize that everything is meaningless and then you burn out. Here's the thing though, the stakes are low right now. You're technically not legally responsible for most of your actions until you turn 18. So use these formative years to experiment. Do crazy stuff while you still can because once you grow up, it is significantly less fun. If you're just now going into high school, chill out. If you've been in high school for a little bit, you're still new, get with the program and get your act together. If you're not in high school and you're just watching this video to relive your high school days, get over it old man, your youth was fleeting and you'll never get it back and your shallow attempts at reliving it are pathetic. Death is inevitable, nothing you do matters. There is no afterlife, you cannot return. Hey, it's 2.20 in the morning and if you enjoyed this video, subscribe. And if not, I'm sorry, I'll try harder next time. Maybe while you're busy doing that, you can click on that bell thingamaboo and your phone will shake every time I pay something. The choice is yours, dude. Lady, non-binary individual. Oh my God, I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. It's gonna be painful and I'm just...