 So, just to go ahead and pick up from last week, we were talking about the concept of literally what it is. As I mentioned, we're going to be using the book of Sheikh Mohammed Mouloud, who was about from 150 years ago in Mauritania, and his focus was on creating a curriculum of subjects that have practical implementation and are things that occur on a daily basis. So, every one of us have parents, whether they're living or passed away, and we have to know how to interact with them. We went over the idea that Allah SWT mentioned in the Qur'an that He has joined between the order for Tawheed, and the order towards righteousness, or bit towards the parents, or midwadi, dayni, ihsan. Those two orders are together, and Ibn Abbas mentions that there's three orders in the Qur'an. The third one had slipped my mind last week, so I wanted to mention it. But there are three orders that Allah had mentioned as dual orders, and He said that to complete, to have a fulfillment of these orders, you have to do both. So those are, ablai Allah, ablai Rasulah. It's usually they're together. So a person cannot say, oh, I only follow Allah and the Qur'an. I don't need other than that, as some people wrongly believe me. Now the order is ablai Allah, ablai Rasulah, to fully implement this rule, you have to follow both. ablimu sallah, ablai tazikah. Establish the prayer and give zikah. So those are both together. A person can't say, oh, I'll just do sallah, I don't need to do zikah. And then the third one, which relates also to this topic that we're discussing, the righteousness that are related to it, is anashkurli wadi wadi deyq. Allah SWT says in the Qur'an, show shukr, give thanks to me and to your parents. And Muhammad Molud is going to talk later on in the text, he says, look at this order. Allah SWT did not say, anashkurli wadi sheikh, right, he didn't say have shukr to me and to your sheikh. He didn't say have shukr to me and to your husband or your wife. He didn't say have shukr to me and to your best friend, to your business partner, to anybody else. The only person, and he mentions this later on in the text, he said, I've gone through the Qur'an and I've reflected on it, the only time that Allah SWT has mentioned somebody along with him for shukr is with your parents. So there's a deep lesson there, there's a secret there. By the time we get to the end of the text, one of the things that I found is that once we go through all of this, one of the questions that comes up by the end of the text, they say, okay I get it, I get it, we have to respect our parents to show you the impact of this book specifically. This book is about 80 lines of poetry, eight zero lines of poetry, it can be taught over a period of a few weeks, a few days and sometimes I've rushed through it and gone through it in about two hours, like an intensive. One time, Allah SWT was giving this class in San Diego, a man had walked by and heard a little bit of the doves, it caught his attention, he stood in the doorway and leaned up against the wall and you know sometimes people walk by at Halabah, they listen to a little bit and then they walk after five or ten minutes, he stood there for about two hours, you know I guess he didn't get the feeling, okay I'm here to stay so let me just sit down and join the Halabah, but after two hours after the class he came up to me and he said, you know what, I have not spoken to my father in 16 years out of sheer hatred, at that point what do you say, I didn't have any words to say today, so I just looked at him and he said, again after going through this text he said, I think it's time I give him a call, that's the impact of what this book has had, another person had actually flown across the country to attend a series of lectures, the first lecture they made was this book, it was another teacher teaching the same exact book and they had left their home and their mother had told them, one of their parents has said, I don't really want you going to that to that convention or that setting and so he disobeyed his mother and he went to anyway, so I'm going to study Islam and Mohamed Mohamed later, he's going to talk about when you have to obey your parents and when you can disobey them when they tell you not to go out for travel, for business, for study, or whatever it might be, he came, the first lesson was this lesson and then he got on the next plane and went home, he realized the impact, another person after having gone through this text he came up to me, he said, I live in the same apartment with my father and I have not spoken to him for six months, nothing, no words, no exchanges, they live in the same apartment and after going through this book he said, I think it's time that I made the relationship, so that's the power when these verses from the Quran and the tafsir that is mentioned about these verses and the ahadith it's all put together, it's like an extract, Sheikh Mohamed looked at all of the various tafsir, looked at the ayats in the Quran, looked at the ahadith and brought them all together, so he's going to talk more about this concept of shukr and what it really means, one of the alama said that there I mean there's many ways that we can show shukr to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala and sometimes we forget the subtle differences between some of these concepts, so for example we say Alhamdulillah and we say Shukr to Allah, you know, what is the difference? Shukr and Hamd, what is the difference between the two? Alhamdulillah said Alhamdulillah and Shukr to Allah Hamd, praise of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is with the tongue, we praise him, we say Alhamdulillah, whatever type of praise is to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala but shukr, like praising Allah and thanking Allah is not only with the tongue, it's like you know if somebody comes up and says oh you know thank you, thank you, thank you so much, you might say well show it, you know show it in your head, the action shows especially for those of you who are parents right, you know, it's like oh thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you I want you to show me your thanks right, so the shukr is with the with your blessings of Allah and your body, anything that Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has given you that you use that for the sake of Allah, so shukr of the eyes, shukr of the hands, you know just think of any, we could use anything for the haram or for the halal, we can use it for the wajib and we can use it for the disobeying Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, so shukr is using the blessings of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala for his sake, so there's many different ways that we can show shukr, but one of the main ways the Ulema said that we show shukr to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is by doing our five daily prayers, that's a consistent way, so one of the Ulema made a Qiyai, he said if Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala expects from us these five daily prayers as a bare minimum shukr, then we should be making dua, supplication for our parents at least five times a day, so those are the three orders in the Qur'an that are dual orders, and then he also mentions a hadith, he says sallallahu ala maqala inna ridha ila hina ta'ala according to a hadith mentioned in Sunnah al-Tirmidhi, ridha Allah fi ridha al-wadi daym, wa safatullah fi safat al-wadi daym, that the ridha, the pleasure of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is in the pleasure of the parents, and the anger of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is in the anger of the parents. This is a very very heavy hadith because it's almost like the reaction that your parents give to you is an indication of what Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has in store for you. Do you have the ridha of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala and we have inna and tawar, or do we have the safah of Allah, the anger of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala and we have the refuge of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala from his anger and we know in other hadith of the Prophet sallallahu ala salam, such as in the Salat of Janazah, one of the signs that Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala has accepted this person is we look at that Janazah and we see and how many of us have been to the cemetery, we see a huge jama'a bringing one of the Janazahs, 40, 50, 60, 100, 200 people and then a very shortly after we see another Janazah with four or five people. Has anybody witnessed that? Over here at the Makbara or any of the Maqabah. And in Subhanallah, sometimes those Janazahs that have a lot of people, the people actually help that family. The second family did not have enough people to carry their relative from the car to the place of burial and the Janazah of the first person, he ended up because there were so many people, he had three Janazahs, there was one where they did the roso in Fremont, there was one where they prayed that the people, the people were actually fighting over where his Janazah was going to be and where his roso was going to be and that's a sign that like how much people love him. So I came, they came to me and the family said no we wanted this masjid and the community that he used to go said no we wanted this masjid so the, the, the amids that I made between them I said okay can we do the roso at this masjid and then they carry him they do the Janazah, this other masjid and then they go to the maqla and they accepted that. But then they ended up, there were so many people that wanted to pray the Janazah, they prayed at his, at his grave, hundreds of people and each Janazah and then right after that a Janazah they didn't have enough people to take the body from the car to the place of burial and other people from that Janazah came and helped out and we said SubhanAllah this man was helpful to people in while he was alive and even after he had passed away the traces of his Hidmah to the Muslims was still going, his service to the Muslims. So we know that there's a, there's an indication of Allah SWT as exceptional rejection of a person in the exceptional rejection of the people. So this is when we hear this hadith. Now at the same time it has to be balanced out as I was mentioning last week our deen, the shari'ah of the Prophet SAW is very clear. Granted there are, there are matters that are, that are ambiguous and we have to make a, make an ictihad and figure out what exactly is the application here. But for the most part it's very clear, our prayer is very clear, our fast is very clear, the Qiraah of the Qur'an is very clear, all of our deen is very clear. So we don't want parents to read this hadith and say oh that means anytime I get mad at my son, oh you better watch out, because if I'm mad Allah is mad and you have to make me happy at all costs because if you don't make me happy then Allah SWT is not happy with you. That's not what we want, we want a balance and once we get into the discussion we'll see more of a definition of what does that mean, how much do I have to do to make my parents happy and at what point am I not doing anything wrong even if they're angry with me. So I'm skipping some of the lines, again I'll share this book with everyone. He also mentions, he said the importance, he's talking about the importance and I mean in the Qur'an and the hadith it's also wajj, it's an obligation in the Qur'an, in the sunnah and according to the consensus of the ulama, the ijma' of the ulama. There's very few matters that you'll find that the obligation is clearly mentioned at these three levels, it's clear in the Qur'an, it's clear in the hadith and the scholars do not differ about it. Has anybody ever heard a Muslim scholar say actually you know you don't have to respect your parents? Has anybody ever said, nobody said that. You find other matters and there's always a khilaf, there's always a difference of opinion. In fact it was, there was another scholar from Mauritania, a famous scholar and he was very very knowledgeable but his father didn't really have so much knowledge so he knew that people are going to come up to the father and what do you think that the people after knowing the knowledge of the son, what are they going to expect from the father? Same knowledge, right? Oh this is your son, you must have taught him, but he was a simple man, good Muslim. So his son gave him away and he said, look I know people are going to come and they're going to ask you, you know about things, just always respond, fihi khilaf, there's a difference of opinion. And he said, and dad just said, fihi khilaf, you know there's a difference of opinion and you don't have to say anything to them. So then they came to the scholar and Muhtar would go and say, Muhtar, we're worried about your father. He said, why? He said, we asked him about Allah and he said, fihi khilaf, there's a difference of opinion. And Muhtar being the scholar that he is, he said yes. The Christians say this, the Jews say this, and the Muslims say this, which is the correct opinion. Now not all khilaf is Muhtar, not all khilaf, not all difference of opinion is a valid difference of opinion. So that's what you have, difference of opinion, but then there has to be a valid difference of opinion that's based on inchniha. But this matter of the Bilr-u-Rani-dain is, by consensus of Parlemah, it's in the sunnah, one of the hadith Muhammad Moulut mentions here and it's related in the Sahih Al-Bukhari, a man came to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. Now look at the context of this hadith. He came to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and he said, who doesn't mention the entirety of the hadith here, but he asked him, he said, I came, I made hijab to come to you. Now imagine that, for those of you who have been to Medina or want to go to Medina, you know the feeling that we get when we're on the way, or that we want to be there, or when we're there. Now here is a man who's living at the time of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, he's alive, and we should also remember that during those early years, hijrah was actually an obligation. Like if you became Muslim in some badia of the Arabian Peninsula and you heard about the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, before the conquest of Mecca, you actually part of your Islam is you had to become Muslim and then make hijrah to Medina. And then after the conquest of Mecca, there was the famous hadith, the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, La Hijra Taba'id al-Fadah. After the conquest of Mecca, that obligation of making hijrah to me is no longer an obligation. So it was like you're Muslim, yes, pray five times, pay your zakat, make Ramadan and make your hijrah to Medina. It was a burgeoning community just starting. It was very important for the Muslims to come there to learn and so forth. So this man makes hijrah. There's an obligation there. There's the love that a person, how many of us, if we, if we were alive at the time of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, would want to see him, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, he makes hijrah. And then he said, I came to give, to make hijrah to you, to give bayat to you, allegiance to you, and to fight jihad with you. Imagine all of these amazing things. What did the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam respond? He said, are either of your parents alive? And he said, he said, no. He said, He said, go back and do your jihad with your parents. Now look at this. Did he say, I am Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam? Did he say, I'm the most worthy of service from the Muslims? Did he say, I am the best, so be with me? He said, are either, and he didn't say, are both of your parents alive. This is part of the, when the, when the, the ulama look at the hadith, they don't just look at the outward of the hadith. They say, look at all of the different contexts of the hadith. There's a hadith mentioned in the Shama'ah of Imam-e-Tirmidhi, where the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam came into the house of Ennis, and we used to do his service. His younger brother had a pet bird, and the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam saw him and he was sad. So he asked him what, what had happened. He asked about the house. He said, why is Umayyad sad? And he said, they said, oh his pet bird had passed away. So then he went up to him in the famous hadith. Ya aba Umayyad, ma fa'alan mughayd. Oh, oh aba Umayyad, what did the little bird do? Ya aba Umayyad, ma fa'alan mughayd. Five words. And somebody might mention, oh, the, you know, in fact one of the, I believe it was, yes, it was not even the Orientalist. One of the early Muslims, one of the deviant Muslims had criticized the hadith scholars. He said, why do you spend so much time collecting every bit of information about the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam? There's got to be some things that don't have any point. So they said, well, give us an example. He said, look, there's a hadith. You hadith collectors have mentioned about the little bird boy whose bird died. And the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam just said, oh, ya aba Umayyad, ma fa'alan mughayd. What did the little bird do? You know, he was trying to make him feel good about, and get his mind off this trouble. He said, that hadith, the Orientalist have deduced from it over 300 rules. Just from that hadith. Think about it. That was in Medina. The little boy had a pet bird. Something he had caught in the wild. What's an issue there? Wild bird, Medina. You're not supposed to hunt an animal? You're not supposed to take from the wild creatures of the trees. In the haram of Medina, you can't cut down a tree, can't hunt an animal, right? It's a haram. It's a precinct. It's a sanctuary. So they said, oh, this is an exception, according to some of the that you can't kill the bird, but you can have it as a pet. See the distinction with me? Also the recommendation that when you go into a house, or when you meet people, don't just greet the adults in the house. Greet the little children. Ask the little children, because the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam came into the house of Ennis's family, and he didn't just ask about the father or the mother. He was asking about the little boy. And notice this. Something, something notice. Notice if you go to a group of men, and one of the fathers, like, has their son with them, notice how many people will say, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, and shake hands of everybody that skip over the little kid. Have you ever seen that? Skip over. He's, he's a Muslim. In fact, he's in a better state. We mentioned that last week, Muhammad Molud used to only drink tea with children, not with adults. Why? Because the children don't have sin. It's like, I don't want to waste my time with sinners. I want to be with the little children who don't have sin. So this is, and then just the, the consideration. And for those of you who have parents, don't the little children notice those type of things? They'll go back. Why didn't he say, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam? Do I not exist? So it's a consideration for the youngest amongst us, because they have, they have a perception. And even if they're very young, those type of things impact their growth and their, their, their development. So going back to this hadith, the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, oh, in fact, there's another story where Ahmad ibn Humban one time was visited by Imam Shafi'in. And Ahmad ibn Humban's daughter had heard a lot about Imam Shafi'in. So she said, I will, interesting, you know, who is this person that everybody talks about? So she observed him when he had visited her, her, the father. The next day the father said, what did you notice about him? And this was the status of the Salaam. Imam Ali, of course, he's a Sahabi before the Salaam. People asked him, how long does it take you to figure a person out? He said, if he speaks, then immediately I'll know what he, where he stands in line with the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. And if he doesn't, give me a day. I'll watch his actions and I'll see how close or how far he is from the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah. And Ibn Ibn Hajj in the medical, he mentions to illustrate this. He said there was a, there was a, there was a student who studied with another teacher and he went to visit another sheikh and the sheikh invited him for a meal. They both sat down. They said, Bismillah. They ate with their right hands. And then the sheikh asked the student, he said, who is your sheikh? Who is your teacher? And he said, sheikh, please, please pardon me. I have a toothache on the right side of my mouth. That was their only interaction in that situation. They sat down to eat a meal. The sheikh says, who's your teacher? And the student says, pardon me, sheikh. I have a toothache on the left side of my, on the right side of my mouth. What happened there is the sheikh is observing him. And he's noticing, okay, he sat on the ground. He ate with his hand. He ate with three fingers. He's, because there's a lot of edam, of eating the food. Muhammad Molud has an entire book just on the edam of eating food. And it's not just sitting on the ground and using your hand. It's very specific how the prophets of the last one sift the drink, how he ate the food, with which fingers, not the whole, it's not even the whole fingers. It's just the three fingers and the tips of those fingers. So it's not like, you know, how some people were like, oh, sunnah to eat with the hands. They start grabbing and, you know, making a ball of throwing it up. That's not the sunnah. There's a sunnah and there's the sunnah of the sunnah, like how exactly it's done. That's how particular the Sahab will work in their observations and they pass it down through the generations. So he had noticed that the student took the first bite and chewed it on the left side of his mouth, which the sunnah is to begin with the first bite on the right side. But he didn't say, why did you start with the left side? He said, why? He said, who is your chef? And the student immediately understood. He understood. The chef is asking, who is my chef? Because he found all of the sunnahs, I'm following it, but he saw me start chewing on the left side. And so he immediately responded. He said, excuse me, I have a toothache on the right side of my mouth. That's how conscious they were on the very fine sunnahs of the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So Imam Ishaafari was observed by the daughter of Ahmad al-Ruhamad. In the morning, Ahmad al-Ruhamad asked his daughters, what do you think? You know, what did you observe? She said, he ate a lot of food and he went to sleep and he got a prophetic and he didn't make will do. Like, I'm not really impressed. So Ahmad al-Ruhamad is now interested. He didn't notice those things, so he asked him. He said, as for eating a lot of food, the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, mentioned in the hadith that if you're with the righteous, the generous people, eat a lot of food because there's a lot of blessing in that food of the generous people. And he said, if you're with the misers, don't eat a lot of their food. But we're here with the generous people. So he said, I was just following the sunnah by eating a good amount of food. He said, and as for not praying, making will do for Fajr, he said, I made will do for Isha. I prayed Isha and I stayed the whole night of the hadith O Aba Aume, what did the little bird do? And I got out so many rulings and wisdoms and recommendations and sunnahs from that one hadith. So when I got up to pray Fajr, I said, I still had rulings. So that was Imam Isha. So going back to this hadith, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had asked the man, are either of your parents alive? Now he didn't say, are both of your parents alive? The other thing they mentioned about this hadith, they say, he did not ask them, are your parents Muslim? Because at that time, the majority of people were still coming to Islam. So it was very likely that if a person became Muslim, his parents were not Muslim. So he didn't say, are your parents Muslim? Are they alive? Okay, go back and serve them. Do your jihad with your parents. No, he said, are either of them alive? That's it. Yes, Fafihima Fajr. Go back and do jihad. So think about that. He sent somebody away from him and from Hijrah to Madinah and living in Madinah and allegiance to the Messenger of Allah and jihad, with him to go serve his parents. That's the status of a Wida-Nawadi name. Now at the end, this is one of the questions that I get. You can see this is starting to be a heavy text, right? Is it? Or just, there's a lot, there's a lot of lessons that are here. One of the common questions that I get at the end after people say, okay, I understand, I understand the importance. But what about, what about, what about if my parents neglected me? Or if they, what about if my parents had neglected me and looks like the batteries though? My parents neglected me or used me. How do I do that? And so once the Prophet was, can you hear me in the back? No? While we're waiting for that, any questions so far on what I've presented? Just directly, not general questions, but so far just of what I've covered. So the Prophet, once was explaining this to the Sahaba, the importance of respecting the parents and the Sahaba had a question. They said, even if they are oppressive to the son, and he said, or the child, he said, even if they're oppressive, even if they're oppressive, even if they're oppressive, even if they're oppressive. There's a lot of depth in that. And recently, you know, one of the famous people who was just become Muslim, has anybody heard Sinead O'Connor, she became Muslim last year, and now she just recently came on a talk show with her hijab and so forth. So I came across a, okay, no worries. Okay, thank you. So I came across another video of a few years and she suffered a lot through her life. You know, a lot of people, they look at the rich and famous and they think, oh, look at, they got so much, you know, they got everything they want, but their lives are very, look at some of the most famous people. Who's, who's the king of pot? Michael Jackson. Did he seem to have a happy life at the end of his life? The entire world though, I mean, he could go to Russia and fill up an entire stadium. Even if they don't know English, they're listening. How much, how much impact did he have on the culture? How many, I remember growing up in Jordan in the 80s, people would buy the gloves, the jackets, remember the red jacket from Thriller? Right? I mean, he had a lot of people follow him and look what he, he wound up miserable at the end of his life. The king of rock and roll, Elvis, which interestingly enough, on a side note, I know this is the message that we shouldn't be talking about a lot of the malathing and so forth, but there were actually people before Elvis who had started the genre of rock and roll because it was a mixture of country music, the blues and jazz. And where, where do all those, well, the country, you know where the country music comes from, but the blues and jazz, that's from the deep side. So the genre of rock and roll was actually started before Elvis, by African Americans. But at that time, America was very racist. So who was the person who found Elvis Presley? The Colonel, right? And so he said, this is in his words, he said, I need somebody who can sing that genre of music, sing the music that has been created by African Americans, but it's white, so that I can sell this to people. And that's what he did. Now, Subhanallah, the way that the Colonel found Elvis Presley, because he was a poor boy from, from Tupelo, Mississippi, nobody knew, was that? The Colonel is his manager. No, I don't know. The Colonel was the main Colonel. The Colonel is the main Colonel. So yeah, not Sanders from Kentucky Fried Chicken. So the Colonel was at a recording studio. He's just seeing who's coming into the studio. Elvis comes up from Mississippi to Memphis, Tennessee, to go to the recording studio to do what? To record a, because he was doing music, to record a record, to give as a gift to his mother. Better money than. He wanted to honor his mother. And look what happened. He got all this fame and fortune. So you have to think about this, you know, these, these type of things. Like, what is, what is the, the spiritual as bad that people take to achieve fame and success? Has anybody ever heard of Secret Santa? Not the game they do at businesses, but the real Secret Santa. He started in the 60s or 70s giving out $5 bills to people. He would dress up as Santa and go around and give people, started out with $5. And then he went to 20, then he went by the end he was handing out $100 bills. The way he started it is that he said he was, he was homeless. He had just lost his job. It was right before Christmas. He was living in his car. Imagine how sad he was at that time. And he saw some, some, some people who were struggling on the street. He said, they're worse off than me. I need to give them some. So essentially right charity. So he did and he felt really good. And so he started doing that. Eventually he became a multimillionaire in a, in starting a cable company, but it was from Sadaqah that he started this, this fortune. So I'm looking at, I'm saying, well, the spiritual as bad as he gave charity and Allah's power to give him from the generosity because there's certain things, you don't have to be Muslim to tap into the grave. If somebody is good to their parents, they're going to get a benefit from that. If somebody gives charity, they're going to get benefit from that. So, so, but if you look at these people, Whitney Houston, Marilyn Monroe, Michael Jackson, just you name it, any of these very, very, very famous people and they end up at the end of their lives and they could be miserable. So all of that is not necessarily the way to, to success. How did I start? So, but it's interesting when famous people become Muslim like Yusuf Islam or she had a lot of troubles in her life, mental health issues, drug addiction, abuse of people. So there was an interview and the person said, I want you to, I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to answer as truthful as you can. So he starts asking her about her mother and she says my mother was a monster. My mother did this. My mother didn't, you know, didn't take care of me. I mean, just all sorts of neglect and abuse as a, as a little girl, five, six years old. And now she, even as a, as a grown woman, she's still affected by that. And so then he asked her a question and he said, if you saw her right now and you only had one minute, what would you do? And she's, she already told him, she's like, she messed up my life. Like she did all of this stuff and I'm suffering now, the drug addiction, all of this stuff because of like the abuse and neglect that I got from my mother. He said, if you had one minute, now that your mother's not, what would you do? He said, she said, I would hug her with all my strength and tell her I loved her and say, I will take care of you. And when I saw that, I said, that's what the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you know, there's something deep about forgiveness to even the people who oppressed you. I mean, is there, is there anybody who oppressed the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam more than Quraish? And when he came to Mecca and one of the Sahaba, they said, Today is the Day of Slaughter. He said, no. Today is the Day of Mercy. Hind. What do we say about Hind right now? She bit into the liver of Hamza. And she hired an assassin to kill him. But when we say, when we say him, Abu Sufyan who led the battles and led it, and went to try to get the Muslims to stop being accepted by the Najashi in Habashah, what do we say about Abu Sufyan now? That's the power of Islam and forgiveness of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, forgiveness. So now we're going to get into this. This doesn't mean that we become, we'll get into it more. It doesn't mean that no matter what your parents do, you just have to be, you know, take everything. Sometimes, even if the parents are abusive or neglective toward the child, might have to move away. Part of the bidr of the child doesn't mean you're right there in their face. You can do bif with a phone call, with an email, with a card, with an e-card. There's lots of different ways that you can show respect. There's not just one. And you don't want to put yourself in a place where you're being humiliated. One of the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, المؤمن دا يدر المفسر. The believer does not allow him or herself to become humiliated. So any time a person is humiliated, what do we have to do? Make hijrah. Doesn't matter. And that's part of maintaining the human dignity that Allah SWT has placed in human beings. That we are a noble creature and we react to generosity and honoring. If somebody honors you, thank you. How many of you know people who may be atheist? But if they were kind to you, you're like, I can work with this guy. But if there's a Muslim who prays here at the Hajj at Fajr, and does, you know, before Fajr, and prays Fajr in the first line with the imam, but his interactions with people is just, and you don't want to be around. You don't want to do business with them, you don't want to, how many of us have had that type of interaction? So we're not talking about our closeness or proximity to people, or like that person who prays Fajr and is a person of tawheed and believes in Allah, spiritually and by imam, we're super close to that person. But in terms of human interaction and our reaction to that person and our interaction with them, we're closer to this other person that respects us. And that's something that Allah SWT has placed in Bani Adam. Bani Adam, we have a noble Bani Adam. So if anybody, including the parent, is humiliating people, use time to make hijra, and do your bit from far away with what's ever safe, we're going to, I'm going to get into that because is Muhammad going to touch us on this topic? He had a question about, Hazrat Abu Bakr also had his father in Makkah. Yes. But there the professor didn't say go back to Makkah to serve your father. Oh, good question. So the question was about, Hazrat Abu Bakr, his father was in Makkah, and he did not tell him to go back. I never thought about it from that angle. But one of the things that we talked about last week is there's multiple hadith that are mentioned by the Prophet SAW, where he said, the best of actions is, prager, the best of actions is, bin Urwadi name, and the best of actions is hadith. They don't contradict each other, it's for each individual person. He would respond to a person appropriate to their situation, because he can see what they're going through. And so this person would say, what's best for him is to go back and serve him. And so his advice to people was not, one size fits all. And that's something we have to remember about when we, for ourselves, and also when we're around other people. It's not this Dean, there are certain things that it's, yes, one size fits all. Everybody has to pray five times a day, make yours, pay yours a cup, make Hajj, do fasting, bin Urwadi name, so forth. But then there's certain elements that a person might have a strength in one area, and we encourage them. The last thing that we were mentioning right before that was the final point I wanted to talk about. Okay, yes. So in the Quran, Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala telling the Prophet, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, If you were harsh, and hard-hearted with the people, what would the people do? Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam would have run away from you. And this is the message of Allah, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam. So sometimes we have to remember about themselves and say, well, I'm your dad, you know, I'm your boss, I'm your husband, I'm your wife, you know, mentioning all of those stations that we have, right, like the stations of power, like, or that demanding respect. Well, what station is there higher than Rasulullah, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam? And Allah is telling him, look, humanly, he's telling us something about human nature. You, the best of creation, the best of the messengers, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, all of them, that if Musa Alaihi Wasallam or Isa Alaihi Wasallam was alive at his time, he would have to believe in him and follow him to be able to get into Jannah. He, if he was harsh and hard-hearted, people would have run away from him. So people, human beings, we have to remember that, that we have this nobility about us and we don't allow people to walk all over us. So now he begins with the definition of Guru. So we say Bidur-u-Wadi name, what does it mean? He says the definition of Guru or how to achieve Bid, the righteousness. And this word, there's, there's various words in Arabic that don't have one single translation. So how many of us, when we try to explain the concept of Taqwa, we're like, what's the word? Like, what's, what's, how would you explain Taqwa? How would somebody translate Taqwa? Consciousness of Allah? Fear of Allah? You know, you see, what's that? There's a lot of translations. And the reason why there's a lot of translations is because it's what's called in Arabic, it's a comprehensive word. And so you can, you actually need a few lines to explain what this is. And there's, there's various words that, that have this meaning. One of them is Faraah. So when the muaddin says, prayer, that's clear. Come to the prayer. Come to success. What's the success? The success is every type of success that you can imagine. Bid, same thing. It's a kalimah tunjabah and it's a comprehensive word. So it means every type of righteousness. So how do we achieve that with the parents? He said, it's with the way you speak to them, with the tongue. So one way of doing Bid-ul-Wadi Day is with the tongue. One is with the heart. One is with the body. And one is with the, with your wealth. And he's got, he has a chapter on each one of these. So he starts with the, the, how do you speak to the parents? So he said, The way we speak to them is that you speak to them, soft speech. And again, I mentioned last week, one of the ayahs that has a lot of lessons of Bid-ul-Wadi Day is in Surat al-Isra, 1723 to 25. So even if you haven't, if you don't plan on memorizing many Suras or many ayahs, if you just memorize those three ayahs, you'll get basically the whole essence of Bid-ul-Wadi Day in those few ayahs. Well, one of the things that Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la tells us is to speak to them, says the way to speak to them is by saying a kareem speech. And another one, it says, to say, what does this mean? So it says a kareem, an honorable speech, or a lady in speech, a soft speech. Okay, a soft speech. One of the set-up was asked, they said, okay, what exactly does qaul and lady man mean? And it was, yeah, Ibn al-Musayyib was asked. He says, actually, sorry, it's not the lady. The honorable speech. So if we say, what is the honorable speech? How do you honor everybody? That's subjective. It's not objective. We need a definite way of, what does it mean to honor your parents in speech? And so Ibn al-Musayyib was asked, what does this actually mean? He says, the state, the way a slave who has committed a crime would speak with his harsh and majestic master. The way a slave was committed a crime would speak with his harsh and majestic master. Now you get two extremes of this example. You get the extreme of power dynamics, master and a slave. And it's not a nice slave. He's actually a harsh slave. Sorry, a harsh master. A harsh master. And he's not just harsh. He actually has a majestic presence. And this slave is very lowly and he's actually committed something that would make the master angry. So imagine, he's got the aspect element of slave. He's a slave. He's lowly in his, he's not a very, you know, majestic person in his personality. And the third is that he's, he's actually done something bad. And the master has three other qualities. He's a master in the relationship and he's majestic in his presence and he's very harsh and hard hearted. Now how would that person speak with his master? And Ibn al-Musayyib, one of the famous, the tabirin, sorry, the tabirin, he said that's the other meaning. That's how. Now compare that with what we see today. Compare that with what I'm talking about across society. Muslim, non-Muslim, we go to a story. Has it ever like really, have you crazed when you hear kids talking to their parents? Right? Now we're not, we're not saying, we're not, the whole summa of this, of respecting the parents is not to create a master slave relationship with parent-child. That's not what we're talking about. And he's giving a mubalacha. So the story that I give to when I teach this to kids, I change it. I said, imagine a harsh, majestic general. And I use general and soldier because then they can, oh yeah, general soldier, right? And the soldier threw a ball through the window and you know, he cracked the window and he hit the, the general on the head and the kids started laughing. Now when he comes in, how is he going to talk to the master? Or the general in that situation. So it gives them, it gives them a picture of like, oh, I get it. This is, we're not like equals, like what this society is trying to teach, you know, like everybody's equal. No, there is some difference. So that's the, the, the code of kareem, according to Ibn Masayih. And then he says, you give nasiha to your parents as well. Give them advice. So part of the, part of your respect to your parents is that you give them advice. And nasiha is in deen and dunya. In the famous Hadith of the Prophet, he said, deen is giving good advice. And this would be about the deen matters or the dunya matters. But there's a few, there's a few rules to giving nasiha. Nasiha is different than, one of the descriptions of the believers is that they enjoy righteousness and they forbid evil. But what are the conditions? Does this mean you can just go up to anybody and say whatever you want? No, there's three conditions to enjoying righteousness and forbidding evil. One is that you have knowledge. You actually know this. How many of us have come up to that well-intending brother or sister when we were younger, that well-intending uncle or auntie in the masjid to give us advice about what we were doing or what we were not doing? We've all had experiences like that, or maybe in our workplace or somebody just giving you the unsolicited advice. There's somebody who said, unsolicited advice is the junk mail of advice. So they give you this unsolicited advice and sometimes it's like, what are you talking about? You don't know. So the person has to have knowledge. They actually have to know what is the rule about this matter and that there's no difference of opinion. There's no valid difference of opinion. The second thing is that they actually have to know that this will benefit the person. If it's not going to make any difference, you know, the point is not just to have people go out there and say, oh, that's fine. That's why you shouldn't do that. And that's what's true. It's not the point because then if we had to mention that about every single person, we couldn't handle it. And so the other thing is that it has to be, there has to be a London Fahina, a belief that it will actually benefit the person for it to be an obligation. And the third is that it will not lead to a greater harm. So an example they mentioned, when they talk about enjoying righteousness and forbidding evil, they say if a person is drinking alcohol, they have a weapon in their hand and you go up to them and you say, oh, that's how I'm, and he does something with the weapon, what's works? The drinking of the alcohol or him hurting somebody? So just watch out for that. But I usually use an example that's more relevant. There's situations where people can actually be chased away from the dean or actually leave the dean of Islam because people are just always on him. And I've heard, you know, stories of people that this actually has happened to them. They just, they couldn't handle it. They come to the Masjid. It's supposed to be a place of, you know, you're connecting with Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala and it's just this bird, oh, you're doing that wrong. You're doing this wrong. You're doing that wrong. And if you don't have the steadfastness to take that, it could shake a person. And there have been people who have left Islam because of that. I know the stories. I've heard some, and I'm sure other people have stories as well. Or somebody who, I remember one time my father, oh, come on, this is in a Masjid here in Beirut. A brother took his shahada, like after Juma or right before Juma. And right after the prayer, he's making his salah and he's not sitting in the prayer the sunnah style. Because that's a difficult right? If you're, look at the people in front of you, most people, right, we sit on chairs now and we're always at our desk, so we don't have the flexibility that we, the young children have, for example. So somebody came up to him while he's in prayer and started twisting his foot so that it's in the sunnah style. This person literally just took his shahada and you're worried about the sunnah style? Or another sister who, she came to a person who was an Imam at that Masjid at the time. She, she was the only sister, 16 or 17, she became Muslim. Her family didn't know she became Muslim because she would actually be kicked out of her house if they found out she was Muslim. And let me ask you this, a 16 or 17 year old girl in our society, if she's kicked out on the streets, isn't that a life?