 What is so great about a sense of flow and how can we find our way there? That's the topic of today's episode of Pookie Ponders. Let's dive straight in. So today we're going to think about flow. That's the state when you get so involved in an activity, thing that you're doing that you lose all sense of space and time. It's when you get so lost in something that you suddenly realize you forgot to eat breakfast. And maybe lunch and dinner too. And sometimes you look up and you suddenly realize it's gotten dark outside and you've just been so engrossed, so involved, so completely consumed by the thing that you were doing that time just went by in a flash and you didn't really notice. It's a really wonderful, brilliant state to find ourselves in because it can give us a little bit of respite from the day to day world. And for all of us, that can feel good to get so lost in something that we're completely consumed by and nothing else matters for a little while. All of us need a break from the day to day at times, right? But some of us need that break even more. So those of us who might be struggling with things like depression or anxiety or who might be neurodivergent and find the world a really overwhelming place. Or if you've got anything else just going on in your life that means that perhaps you'd like to just escape for a little while. Then finding that state of flow will allow you to do that. You basically take a little holiday from the normality or the horror of day to day life and also from the things that might normally be going on in your head, all that kind of internal narrative. So that's the other thing about this state of flow that we might find that for half an hour and our ages, depending on how long we're able to enter that state for, that all the noise in our head that's always normally there talking to us, picking us apart, being quite mean to ourselves. Sometimes it's just kind of gone because we're stuck there in that task, in that activity, lost in it, completely consumed by it. Now, different people will find a state of flow in different things. And some people are really lucky and can find that state quite easily. And for other people, it's a little bit harder to find. But I really think that this state of flow can be a great way for anyone to take a rest, to have a bit of respite and to relax and also to reset if we need to. And for that reason, that finding that state of flow is something that I particularly recommend for our neurodivergent children, adults, everyone, because it can be the opportunity just to get us back in the middle of our window of tolerance, really able to manage with the day to day challenges of life. So flow can be really important for those reasons. So we can find flow through all sorts of different ways. So the first thing is to notice if there are activities which are more likely to inspire flow. And this might be noticing that you do yourself or noticing that you're doing for child or young person that you might be working with or caring for. Now, those activities that you can't be torn away from or that you can't tear a child away from, it's time to do something else. Maybe something even that they quite enjoy or that seems quite important. Eating, sleeping, that sort of thing. If we find ourselves unable to tear ourselves away or just completely lost and notice that a whole bunch of times gone past and we didn't realise this is an indication that we were in that state of flow and this may be an activity that we might choose to try to return to because it's obviously something that inspires a state of flow in us. Now, this will be different things for different people. So for some, it will be really creative endeavours. So I will sometimes find this when I'm writing, for example, many people will find it through things like art and creating in other ways. I will also often find my state of flow when reading. So if you are someone who has ever found that suddenly it's two o'clock in the morning and you're still turning the pages in that book because you just need to know what's going to happen next. And you found that you were totally immersed in that world, completely othered from the world that's actually around you. That's flow. Flow, too, can be found through things like gaming for many of the children and young people that I have worked with and actually being completely immersed in that world, particularly actually with how gaming is these days. We can often talk to our friends and our community whilst we're doing it. We have amazing visuals and really fantastic storylines. I think gaming is something that's really misunderstood often by people who don't do it. I don't do it, but my brother does and my husband does. And I've spoken to loads of young people about gaming and what it brings for them. And I think sometimes we dismiss it as a waste of time. But actually, my brother once described to me gaming as being like watching a film or reading a novel, except you get to do both kind of at the same time and you get to choose what's going to happen next. You're also often with your mates and you get to learn like all sorts of different skills kind of along the way. And these worlds can be really imaginative and they're massive, massive, massive places that you can explore for ages. They're really fantastic places, actually. And, you know, we've got to think about our online safety and certainly there can be issues sometimes when a young person wants to spend time wholly in that world rather than in the real world, though sometimes can we blame them if that world is safe and they can control it and they understand it and they know that if I do this, then this will happen and the real world might feel more unpredictable and more overwhelming and so on. But that's a topic for another day. Anyway, flow can be found through things like gaming. So notice, first of all, when does flow sort of naturally happen? And then in terms of being able to kind of encourage and support flow, so we might think when is a time when it can happen? So the issue with flow can sometimes be that it gets in the way of life. If we decide that we want to be able to use flow as a like big respite, big reset for ourselves, we might want to enter the state of flow for some time. You know, rather than minutes, we might be looking for hours. And in order to do that, we kind of need to make sure that we've got time to do that. So if you're thinking about it for yourself, this is like, OK, it's Saturday afternoon and actually miracle. I don't have other places that I need to be or things that are more important right now. And we might sometimes prioritize flow over other things. Maybe the house doesn't really, really need cleaning right now because you perhaps really need this respite, this rest, this opportunity to reset. So we make ourselves a bit of time and then we need to make sure that we're not going to be interrupted because it can be so frustrating if we're in that beautiful state of flow and then the phone rings or the door goes or somebody needs us for something and we've got to be somewhere. We've got to get dragged from it. So the thing about flow is we get really lost in it and it feels really brilliant, but being dragged from it is a bit like being woken from a deep sleep, you know, and you just don't actually want to wake up. You're there and you're cozy and you're warm and it feels lovely and it's this lovely, lovely world. And suddenly someone's going, hey, reality calling, reality calling, not fun, not fun. So ideally, we want to be uninterruptible. And if we're trying to support a child to enter that state of flow, we might be thinking equally, when can we help them to create some time? When there are no other pressures on their time, they're not expected to be doing other things. We're not going to interrupt them. We're going to give them that space and allow them to stay in that flow. And that's another kind of pointer. So when we're thinking about noticing, when do we enter those states of flow? When you are trying to encourage a child that you're working with or caring for to get on with something else and they get really grumpy and grippy about it and it's really difficult to get them to move to the next thing. Sometimes that can be because they were in that lovely state of flow and it felt really good. So again, notice when that happens, what were they doing? Where were they? What were the kind of conditions like? And so we can try to replicate those at other times when it is appropriate and possible for them to enter that state of flow. So other things we can do to help with that state of flow, creating it, enabling it, supporting it. It's really those things I just described, just thinking about the conditions. So this might be for yourself, might be for a child you're supporting. What conditions support you in that state of flow? Some people will want music blaring in the background to block all the other sounds of the world out. Others will want complete silence. Some people will want low light. Some people will want bright light. We're all kind of different, right? So for me, I will try and enter my state of flow every morning in my office here. So if you're watching this podcast on a video, then I'll be in my office and it's early morning, currently 10 past five in the morning. And these are my flow hours. So everyone else is asleep. I tend to have my lighting a little bit lower than have it right now. Most of the time I have my lava lamp set up so that that's going to be going by the time that I arrive in my office at about four in the morning. And I have it nice and calm and quiet. I have a playlist which I play every morning. I have it set up so that when I tell my Alexa I'm working, then she starts to play on shuffle a playlist that I've curated over time and add to. And I've kind of just learned over time what really helps me to enter that state of flow. For me, it's really helpful because I have to get all my work done in a really short period of time. And I love my work, but I really need to enter like that state of deep thinking and creativity in order to get as much done as quickly as I can because I'm trying to juggle all my work with home educating my children and we're doing other things as well, like paragliding and climbing and so on and so forth. So I'm trying to fit all the things in. So these early morning hours really matter, but also I love them. That quiet time when the world is still asleep and I'm awake and I'm being productive and creative, it just feels really good and gives me a boost every single day. So I've learned for myself what that environment needs to look like, needs to feel like, and I'll try to recreate that sometimes in other places. So today I'll be travelling for work and I'll be in a hotel overnight. And so tomorrow morning I'll be up in those early hours because I can't not wake up and I'll be looking to kind of mimic that state of flow. So I have my playlist with me. I'll be thinking about the lighting in the room and I'll have moved any kind of clutter out of the way. So I've got a nice clear desk and workspace. These are the things that work for me, but what works for you or for the child or young person that you're supporting? The final thing that you might think about in terms of supporting that state of flow and enabling it to happen is a really, really practical one. So we thought about like not being disturbed and stuff like that. And this is great. We've set ourselves up for potentially entering a state of flow for maybe many hours, which can feel fantastic. The one downside about that is that we're not going to remember to eat or drink anything and that's not great. So we might be doing this beautiful, beautiful reset and then find that actually we become really dysregulated at a certain point or as we come out of that state of flow and have to come back to reality, which often feels a bit horrible anyway, because we haven't eaten or drunk anything. So that's not ideal. So if we're going to enter that state of flow for a significant period of time, think about how we are going to fuel ourselves, have some water nearby or other drinks and have snacks or food there ready to go. Easy to access stuff that's not going to be complicated for us. So if it's for ourselves or a young person who may be neurodivergent, who's got challenges around different foods and things, this isn't the time to be pushing those boundaries. This is the time when we're going to go with the foods that feel safe and they need to be easy to eat and not going to interrupt what we are doing. But they need to be there and they need to be accessible because otherwise we're not going to eat and then we're going to get hangry or whatever our equivalent is. And nobody really, really wants that as an adult. Your role here can be to support through the provision of food and drinks and snacks. So not interrupting your young person if they're in that state of flow, a little thumbs up or everything OK, might be fine, but don't try to drag them out of that state. Just profit them with food, with drinks every now and then. That's often all we really need to do during those times to be of really significant support afterwards. We can also talk to our child about what was going on, were they gaming? What was happening in that world? Invite them to invite you in and talk about the thing that so absorbed them, whether they were practicing a skill or reading or gaming or creating in some way, if they are happy to explore it with you, then actually talking to you about it or showing you what demonstrating will spark some joy and often some pride as well in that young person, which is another real benefit from that flow state, the things that we can do and create in the places we can kind of go when in that state can be quite, quite incredible. So if you're lucky enough to be invited into that world afterwards and can explore it with a child, take that opportunity and lean into learning from them and hearing from them about what happened when they were in that state. So, flow, have a think about it, have a think about whether it's something you might like to introduce a bit more into your own life and when that might happen, where that might happen, what you might do or and think about whether flow might be something that you think would be really supportive and restorative for a child or young person that you're supporting and try to identify what are the activities that help them to enter that state of flow. And again, when, where and doing what might work for them in terms of flow and what can be your role in terms of being the supportive adult there, whether it's creating that physical and mental space for them, whether that's providing them with snacks and drinks or whether that is about talking to them afterwards and inviting them to invite you into the world that they were in when they were in flow. I hope this gave you some food for thought. I would love to hear about you and your experience of flow or your experience of flow within the children and young people that you're working with or caring for. I also do drop me a line with those if that's something that speaks to you. If you found today's episode of Boogie Bonders helpful, then please do share it. Please also like and subscribe. These things make me smile. And the more widely that my work is shared, then the happier I always am. If you'd like to support further, you can do so by heading over to Patreon where for a pound a month or 10 pounds a year, then you can become a little member of my community who receives everything early and influences all the topics I choose to cover. Or if you'd like to go even further, you can invite me to work with you. I can come and deliver keynote talks face to face or I can deliver webinars online. I go wherever I'm asked to all over the world, occasionally, so don't fear about geography. But I would really love the chance to work with you and your community. That brings me great joy and hopefully brings you great joy, too. OK, until next time, be kind to yourselves. But for now, over.