 CHAPTER 10 HOMELESS When I returned to the inn with heavy hardened red eyes, the landlord was standing in the yard. I was going to pass him to get to my dogs, but he stopped me. Well, what about your master? He asked. He is sentenced. How long? Two months' prison. How much fine. One hundred franc. Two months? One hundred franc? He repeated two or three times. I wanted to go on, but again he stopped me. What are you going to do these two months? I don't know, sir. Oh, you don't know? You've got some money to live on, and to buy food for your animals, I suppose? No, sir. Then do you count on me keeping you? No, sir. I don't count on anyone. That was true. I did not count upon anyone. Your master already owes me a lot of money, continued. I can't board you for two months without knowing if I shall be paid. You'll have to go. Go! Where shall I go, sir? That's not my business. I'm nothing to you. Why should I keep you? For a moment I was dazed. The man was right. Why should he give me shelter? Come, take your dogs and monkeys and get out. Of course you must leave your masters back with me. When he comes out of jail he'll come here to get it, and then he can settle his account. An idea came to me. As you know he will settle his spell then. Can't you keep me until then, and add what they cost to it? Ah, your master might be able to pay for today's lodging. But two months? That's a different thing. I'll eat this little as you wish. And your dogs and monkey? No, be off. You'll pick up enough in the villages. But sir, how will my master find me when he comes out of prison? He'll come to look for me here. All you've got to do is to come back on that day. And if he writes to me? I'll keep the letter. But if you don't answer him? Oh, stop your talk. Hurry up and get out. I'll give you five minutes. If I find you here when I come out again I'll settle you. I knew it was useless to bleed with him. I had to get out. I went to the stables to get the dogs in pretty hard. Then strapping my heart on my shoulder I left her in. I was in a hurry to get out of town for my dogs were not muscled. What should I say if I met the policeman? That I had no money? It was the truth. I had only eleven swim in my pocket. That was not enough to buy mussels. They might arrest me. If Vita listened all their posts in prison whatever would become of the animals I felt the responsibility of my possession. As I walked along quickly the dogs looked up at me in a way I could not fail to understand. They were hungry. Pretty hard to make herit pulled me ear from time to time to force me to look at him. Then he rubbed his stomach in a manner that was no less expressive than the looks the dogs casted me. I also was hungry. We had had no breakfast. My eleven soup could not buy enough for dinner and supper. So we should have to be satisfied with one meal which if we took it in the middle of the day would serve us for two. I wandered along. I did not care where I went. It was all the same to me, for I did not know the country. The question of finding a place in which to sleep did not worry me. We could sleep in the open air, but to eat. We must have walked for about two hours before I dared to stop. Yet the dogs had looked up at me imploringly and pretty hard to pull my ear and rubbed his stomach incessantly. At last I felt I was far enough away from the town to have nothing to fear. I went into the first bakery I came across. I asked for one pound and a half of bread. You do well to take a two-pound loaf, said the woman. That's not too much for your menagerie. You must feed the poor dogs. Oh, no, it was not too much for my menagerie, but it was too much for my purse. The bread was five soups a pound. Two pounds would cost ten soups. I did not think it wise to be extravagant before knowing what I was going to do the next day. I told the woman in an offend manner that one pound and a half was quite enough and politely asked her not to cut more. I left the shop with my bread clutched tightly in my arms. The dog jumped joyfully around me. Pretty hard pulled my hair and chuckled with glee. We did not go far. At the first tree we saw, I placed my heart against the trunk and sat down on the grass. The dog said opposite me, copy in the middle, dulcet one side, serbino on the other. Pretty hard who was not tired stood up on the watch, ready to snatch the first piece that he could. To eat out the meal was a delicate matter. I cut the bread into five parts, as near the same size as possible and distributed the slices. I gave each a piece in turn as though I were dealing hearts. Pretty hard who required less food than we fed better, for he was quite satisfied while we were still famished. I took three pieces from his chair and hid them in my bag to gift the dogs later. Then as they still remained a little piece I broke it and we each had some that was for desert. After the meal, I felt that the moment had come for me to say a few words to my companions. Although I was their chief, I did not feel that there was too much above them not to wish them to take part in the grave situation in which we found ourselves. Copy had probably guessed my intentions, for he said with his big intelligent eyes fixed on me. Yes, copy, I said, and you, dulcet serbino in pretty hard, my friends, I have bad news for you. We shan't see our master for two whole months. Copy barked. It's bad for him and it's also bad for us, for we depend upon him for everything, and now he's gone, and we haven't any money. At the mention of the word money which he perfectly understood, copy rose on his hind paws and commands to draw around as though he were collecting money from the distinguished audience. I see you want to give a performance copy. I continued. That's a good advice, but should we make anything? That's the question. We have only three so left, so you mustn't get hungry. We have all to be very obedient. That will make it easier for all of us. You must help me all you can, your dogs in pretty hard. I want to feel that I can count on you. I would not make so bold as to say that I understood all I said, but I got the general idea. The new buyer must have absent that something serious had happened and they had expected an explanation from me. If they did not understand all that I said to them, they were at least satisfied that they had developed hard and they showed their satisfaction by the attention they gave me. Attention? Yes, on the part of the dogs only. It was impossible for pretty hard to keep still for long. He could not fix his mind upon one subject for more than a minute. During the first part of my discourse he had listened to me with the greatest interest. But before I had said twenty words he had sprung up into a tree, the branches of which hung over our head and was now swinging himself from branch to branch. If Capi had insulted me in like manner my pride would certainly have been hurt. But I was never astonished at anything pretty hard might do. He was so empty-headed. But after all it was quite natural that you should want to have a little fun. I admit that I would have liked to have done the same. I would have gone up in that tree with pleasure. But the importance and dignity of my present office did not permit me any such distractions. After we had rested a while I gave a sign to start. We had to find a place somewhere to lie down for the night and gain a few soup or food for the next day. We walked for one hour, then came inside of a village. I quickly dressed my troop and as in good matching orders as possible we made our entry. Unfortunately we had no faith and lacked vitalist fine commanding presence. Like a drum major he always attracted the eye. Eye had not the advantage of being tall nor was he possessed with a wonderful head. Quite the reverse. I was small in sin. I must have won a very anxious look. While marching I glanced to the right and to the left to see what effect we were producing. Very little I regret to say. No one followed us. Upon reaching the small square upon which was found and shaded with trees I took my harp and commenced to play a waltz. The music was gay. My fingers were light. But my heart was heavy. The waltz together. They obeyed me at once and commenced the world round keeping time. But no one put themselves out to come and see us and yet in the doorways I saw several women knitting and talking. I continued to play. Sabino and Dulce went on with the waltz. Perhaps if one decided to come over to us a second would come and then more and more. I played on and on. Sabino and Dulce went round and round but the women in the doorways did not even look over at us. It was discouraging. But I was determined not to be discouraged. I played with all my might making the cords of my harp vibrate almost to breaking them. Sadly a little child, taking his first steps trotted from his home and came towards us. No doubt the mother would follow him and after the mother a friend would come and we should have an audience and then a little money. I played more softly as not to frighten the baby and also to entice him to come nearer. His hands held out and swaying first on one foot then on the other he came on slowly. A few steps more and he would have reached us. But at that moment the mother looked round. She saw the baby at once but instead of running after him as I had thought she would, she called to him and the child obediently turned round and went back to her. Perhaps these people did not like dance music. It was quite possible. I told Sabino and Dulce to lie down and began to sing my canzonella. How to please? I had reached the end of the second line when I saw a man in a round jacket and I felt that he was coming towards me. At last I tried to sing with even more fervour. Hello, what are you doing here, young rogue? He cried. I stopped, amazed at his words and watched him come nearer with my mouth open. What are you doing here, I say? Singing, sir. Have you got permission to sing on a public square in our village? No, sir. Well, be off. If you don't, I'll have you arrested. But sir, be off, you little beggar. I knew from a poor master's example what it would cost me if I went against the town authorities. I did not make him repeat his order. I heard it off. Beggar, that was not fair. I had not begged. I had sung. In five minutes I had left behind me this inhospitable but well guarded village. My dogs followed me with their heads lowered and their tails between their legs. They certainly knew that some bad luck had befallen us. Capy from time to time went ahead of us and turned round to look at me questioningly with his intelligent eyes. Anyone else in his place would have questioned me but Capy was too well-bred to be in discreet. I saw his lip trembling the effort he made to keep back his protests. When we were far enough from the village I sent him to stop and the three dogs made a circle around me Capy in the middle, his eyes on mine. As we had no permission to play, they sent us away, I explained. Well then, as Capy was the wake of his head, so then we shall have to sleep in the open air and go without supper. At the word supper there was a general bark. I showed them my three zoo. You know that is all we have. If we spend those three zoo tonight we shall have nothing left for breakfast tomorrow. So as we have had something today it is better to save this and to put my three zoo back in my pocket. Capy and Dolce bent their heads residedly but Sabino, who was not so good and who besides was a gommon, continued to crawl. I looked at him severely. Capy explained to Sabino he doesn't seem to understand. I said to faithful Capitano. Capy at once tapped Sabino with his paw. It seemed as though an argument was taking place between the two dogs. One may find the word argument too much when applied to dogs but animals certainly have a peculiar language of their kind. As two dogs they not only know how to speak they know how to read. Look at them with their noses in the air or with a lowered head sniffling at the ground smelling the bushes and stones. Suddenly they'll stop before a clump of grass or a wall and remain on the alert for a moment. We see nothing on the wall but the dog eats all sorts of curious things written in mysterious letters which we don't understand. What Capy said to Sabino I did not hear. Five dogs can understand the language of man men do not understand their language. I saw only that Sabino refused to listen to reason and that he insisted that this reissue should be spent immediately. Capy got angry and it was only when he showed his teeth that Sabino, who was a bit of a coward, leaps into silence. The word silence is also used wisely. I mean by silence that he laid down. The weather was beautiful so that to sleep in the open air was not a serious matter. The only thing was to keep out of the way of fools if there were any in this part of the country. We walked straight ahead on the white road until we found a place where it reached the wood. Here and there were great blocks of granite. The place was very mournful and lonely but there was no better and I thought we might find shelter from the damp night air amongst the granite. When I saw we, I mean pretty hard of myself. For the dogs would not catch cold sleeping out of doors. I had to be careful of myself for I knew how heavy was my responsibility what would become of all of us if I fell ill and what would become of me if I were pretty hard to nurse. We found a sort of grotto between the stones strewn with dried leaves. This was very nice. All that was lacking was something to eat. I tried not to think that we were hungry. Does not the proverb say he who sleeps eats. Before lying down it hold cup in that I relied upon him to keep watch and the faceful dog instead of sleeping with us on the pine leaves and trends of our quarters. I could sleep in peace for I knew that none would come near without me being warm back happy. Yet although at rest on this point I could not sleep at once. Pretty hard was the sleep beside me helped up in my coat. Subino and Dulce were stretched out my feet but my anxiety was great and my fatigue. This first day had been bad. What would the next day be? I was hungry and thirsty for my food for all if I did not earn something the next day and the muscles and the permission to sing or what was to be done. Perhaps we should all die of hunger in the bushes while turning over these questions in my mind I looked up at the stars which shone in the dark sky. There was not the price of wind, silence everywhere. Not the rustle of a leaf or a cry of a bird nor the rumble of a cart on the road. As far as my eye could see stretched space. How alone we were, how abandoned. My tears filled my eyes. Oh mother Barbara poor Vitalis. I was lying on my stomach crying into my hands when suddenly I felt the press pass through my hair. I turned over quickly and the big soft tongue licked my wet cheek. It was crappy and it helped me crying and had come to comfort me as he had done the first day of my wanderings. With my two hands I took him by the neck and kissed him on his wet nose. He uttered to us really little mournful snorts and it seemed to me that he was crying with me. I slept. When I woke it was full day and Cappy was sitting beside me looking at me. The birds were singing in the trees in the distance I could hear a church bell ringing the anglers. The morning prayer. The sun was already high in the sky throwing its bright rays down to comfort heart and body. We started off going in the direction of the village where we should surely find the baker. And one goes to bed without dinner or supper when he is hungry early in the morning. I made up my mind to spend this risu and after that we would see what would happen. Upon arriving in the village there was no need for me to ask where the baker lived. Our noses guided us straight to the shop. My sense of smell was now as keen as that of the dogs. From the distance a sniffly delicious order of hot bread. We could not get much for this risu when it costs five silver pounds. Each of us had but a little piece so our breakfast was soon over. We had to make money that day. I walked through the village to find a favorable place for a performance and also to note the expressions of the people and try to guess if there were enemies or friends. My intention was not to give the performance at once. It was too early but after finding a place we would come back in the middle of the day and take a chance. I was engrossed in this idea when suddenly I heard someone shouting behind me. I turned around quickly and saw Sabino racing towards me followed by an old woman. It did not take me long to know what was the matter. Profiting by my preoccupation Sabino had run into a house and stolen a piece of meat. He was racing alone carrying his booty in his chores. Seeth, Seeth! cried the old woman. Catch him, catch all of him. When I heard her say this I felt that somehow I was guilty or at least that I was responsible for Sabino's crime. So I began to run. What could I say to the old woman if she demanded the price of the stolen meat? How could I pay her? If we were arrested, they would put us in prison. Seeing me flying down the road Dulce and Cappy were not long following my example. They were at my heels while pretty hard to make her on my shoulder clung around my neck so as not to fall. Someone else cried Stop! Seeth! and others trained in the chase but we raced on fear gave us speed and I never saw Dulce run so fast. Her feet barely touched the ground down the side street in the grassy field we went and soon we had outstripped our pursuers but I did not stop running until I was quite out of breath. We had raced at least two miles I turned round no one was following us Dulce and Cappy were still at my heels Sabino was in the distance he had stopped probably to eat this piece of meat I called him but he knew very well that he deserved a severe punishment so instead of coming to me he ran away as fast as he could he was famished that was why he had stolen the meat but I could not accept this as an excuse he had stolen if I wanted to preserve discipline in my trope the guilty one must be punished if not in the next village Dulce would do the same and then Cappy would succumb to temptation I should have to punish Sabino publicly but in order to do that I should have to catch him and that was not an easy thing to do Go and find Sabino I said gravely he started off at once to do what I had told him but it seemed to me that he went with less order than usual from the look he gave me I saw that he would fire another champion Sabino than be my envoy I said don't avoid his return with the prisoner I was pleased to get the rest after our mad race when we stopped running we reached the bank of a canal with shady trees and fields on either side an hour passed the dogs had not returned we were beginning to feel anxious when at last Cappy approached alone his head hanging down where is Sabino? Cappy laid down in a cold attitude I looked at him and noticed that one of his ears was bleeding I knew what had happened Sabino had put up a fight I felt that although Cappy had obeyed my orders he had considered that it was too severe and had let himself be beaten I could not scold him I could only wait until Sabino chose to return I knew that sooner or later he would feel sorry and come back and take his punishment I stretched myself out on the entry holding pretty hard tight for fear he should take it into his head to join Sabino Dolce and Cappy slept at my feet time passed Sabino did not appear at last I also dropped off to sleep several hours had passed when I awoke by the sun I could tell it was getting late but there was no need for the sun to tell me that my stomach cried out that it was a long time I had eaten that piece of bread and I could tell from the looks of the two dogs and pretty hard that they were famished Cappy and Dolce fixed the eyes on me piteously pretty hard with cremesis but Sabino had not come back I called to him, I whistled but in vain having well lunch he was probably the chest in his meal cuddled up in a bush the situation was becoming serious if I left this spot Sabino perhaps would get lost for I might not be able to find us there was no chance of me making a little money to buy something to eat our hunger became more acute the dogs fixed the eyes on me imploringly and pretty hard wrapped his stomach and squealed angrily still Sabino did not return once more I sent Cappy to look for the throne but at the end of half an hour he came back alone what was to be done? although Sabino was guilty and through his fault we were put into this terrible position I could not forsake him I had to say if I did not take his three dogs back to him and then in spite of all I left Sabino the rogue I decided to wait until evening but it was impossible to remain inactive if we were doing something we thought we might not fill the banks of hunger so keenly if we could invent something to distract us we might for the time being forget that we were so famished what could we do? I pondered over the question then I remembered that Vitalis had told me that when a regiment was tired out by a long march the men played their games to us so that the soldiers should forget their fatigue if we played some gay pieces on my harp perhaps we could forget our hunger we were also faint and sick yet if we played something lively made the two poor dogs dance with pretty hard the time we passed quicker I took my instrument which I placed up against the tree and turning me back to the kennel put my animals in position and began to play a dance at first night the dogs or the monkey closed the dance all the wanted was food my heart ached as I watched a beautiful attitude but they must forget the hunger poor little things I played louder and quicker and then little by little the music produced its customary effect they danced and I played on and on suddenly I heard a clear voice a child's voice call out bravo! the voice came from behind me I turned around quickly a barge had stopped on the kennel the boys were standing on the opposite bank it was a strange barge I had never seen one like it it was much shorter than the other boats on the kennel and the deck was fashioned like a beautiful veranda covered with plants and foliage I could see two people a lady who was still young and had a beautiful sad face and the boy above my own age who seemed to be lying down it was evidently the little boy who had called out bravo! I was very surprised at seeing them I lifted my head to thank them for their applause Are you playing for your own pleasure? asked the lady speaking French with a foreign accent I'm keeping my dogs in practice and also it diverts their attention the child said something the lady bent over him will you play again? she then asked turning around to me would I play? play for an audience who derived such a moment I did not wait to be asked twice would you like a dance? a little comedy I asked oh, a comedy, cried the child but the lady said she preferred a dance a dance is too short, said the boy if the distinguished audience wishes after the dance will perform our roles it was one of my master's fine phrases I tried to say it in the same kind manner as he upon second thought I was not sure the lady did not wish for a comedy for I don't see how I could have given a performance not only was Sabino absent but I had none of the stage fittings with me I played the first part of the waltz Capi took Dolce by the waist with his two paws and the world round keeping good time then pretty hard danced alone successively we went through all our repertoire the poor little creatures knew that they would be repaid with a meal and they did their best I also then suddenly in the midst of a dance in which all were taking part Sabino came out from behind the bush Capi and Dolce and pretty hard passed near me he boldly took his place amongst them while playing and watching my actors I glanced from time to time at the little boy he seemed to take great pleasure in what we were doing but it did not move he looked as though he was lying on a stretcher the boat had drifted right to the edge of the bank and now I could see the boy plainly he had fair hair his face was pale so white that one could see the blue veins on his forehead he had the drawn face of a sick child how much do you charge for seats at your performance asked the lady pay according to the pleasure we've given you then mama you must pay a lot, cried the child and added something in the language that you didn't understand my son would like to see your actor's nearer he made a sign to Capi with the light he sprang onto the boat and the others cried the little boy Sabino and Dolce followed Capi's example and the monkey pretty hard could have easily made the jump but I was never sure of him one somebody might do some tricks that certainly would not be to the lady's taste is his spiteful she asked no madam, but he's not always obedient and I'm afraid that he will not behave himself well bring him on yourself she signed to a man hosted near the rail he came forward and threw a plank across to the bank with my half on my shoulder and pretty hard in my arms I stepped up the plank the monkey, the monkey cried the little boy and the lady addressed his arse I went up to him and while he stroke and pretty, pretty hard I watched him he was strapped to a board have you a father my child? asked the lady yes, but I'm just alone now for long? for two months two months? oh, poor little boy at your age, how is it that you happen to be left alone? it has to be madam does your father make you take him a sum of money at the end of two months? is that it? no madam he does not force me to do anything if I can make enough to live with my animals that is all and do you manage to get enough? I hesitated before replying I felt a kind of awe a reverence for this beautiful lady yet she talked to me so kindly and her voice was so sweet that they decided to tell her the truth there was no reason why I shouldn't then I told her how vital is and I have imparted that he had gone to present because he had defended me and how since he had gone I have been unable to make any money while I was talking Asa was playing with the dogs but he was listening to what they said then how hungry you almost be he cried at this word which the animals knew well the dogs began to bark and pretty hard wrapped his stomach vigorously oh mama cried Asa the lady said a few words in a strange language to a woman whose head it could see so a half open door almost immediately the woman appeared with some food sit down my child said the lady I did so at once putting my happy side I quickly sat down in the chair at the table the dogs grouped themselves around me pretty hard jumped on my knee do your dogs eat bread? asked Asa do they eat bread? I gave them a piece which she devoured vigorously and the monkey said Asa but there was no occasion to worry about pretty hard for while I was serving the dogs he had taken a piece of crust from a meat pie and was almost choking himself on the next table I held myself to the pie and if I did not choke like pretty hard I gobbled it up no less gluttonously than he poor poor child said the lady Asa said nothing but who looked at us with wide open eyes certainly amazed at our appetites for we always finished as one and other even Sabino who should have been some of the piece by the meat he had stolen what would you have eaten tonight if you had not met Asa? asked Asa I don't think we should have eaten at all and tomorrow? perhaps tomorrow we should have had the luck to meet someone like we have today Asa then turned to his mother for some minutes they spoke together in a foreign language he seemed to be asking for something which at first she seemed not quite willing to grant then suddenly the boy turned his head his body did not move would you like to stay with us? he asked I looked at him without replying I was to take him back by the question the son wants to know if you would like to stay with us repeated the lady on this boat? yes the little boy is ill and he is obliged to be strapped on this board so that the days will pass more pleasantly for him at taking about on this boat while your master is in prison if you like you may stay here with us your dogs and your monkey can give a performance every day and Asa and I will be the audience you can play your harp for us you will be doing us a service so our side will be useful to you to live on the boat but the kind lady I did not know what to say I took her hand and kissed it poor little boy she said almost tenderly then she said she would like me to play my harp this simple pleasure I would give her at once I wanted to show her grateful avarice I took my instrument and going to the end of the boat I commenced to play softly the lady put the little silver whistle to her lips and blew it wondering why she had whistled was it to tell me that I was playing badly or to ask me to stop Asa who so everything that passed around him noticed by an easiness my mama blew the whistle for the horses to go on he said that was so the barge threw by the horses glided over the soft waters which leapt gently against the keel on either side were trees and behind us fell the oblique rays of the setting sun will you play? asked Asa he back into his mother she sat down beside him he took her hand and kept it in his and I played to them all the pieces that my master had taught me end of chapter 10 recording by Ellie march 2010 chapter 11 of nobody's boy this is a lipovox recording all lipovox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit lipovox.org recording by Ellie nobody's boy by ectomolo recorded by Florence Gros Jones chapter 11 another boy's mother Asa's mother was English her name was Mrs. Milligan she was a widow and Asa was her only son at least it was supposed that he was her only living son before she had lost an elder child under mysterious conditions when the child was six months old he had been kidnapped and they had never been able to find any trace of him it is true that at the time he was taken Mrs. Milligan had not been able to make the necessary searches her husband was dying and she herself was dangerously ill and knew nothing of what was going on around her when she regained consciousness her husband was dead and her baby had disappeared her brother-in-law Mr. James Milligan had searched everywhere for the child there being no air he expected to inherit his brother's property yet after all Mr. James Milligan inherited nothing from his brother for seven months after the death of her husband Mrs. Milligan's second son Asa was born but the doctors said that this frail, delicate child could not live he might die at any moment in the event of his death Mr. James Milligan would succeed to the fortune he waited and hoped but the doctors' predictions were not fulfilled Asa lived it was his mother's care that saved him when he had to be stripped to a board she could not bear the thought of her son being closed up in a house so she had a beautiful bud spilt for him and was now travelling through France and the various canals naturally it was not the first date they learned all this about the English lady and her son I learned these details little by little while I was with her I was given a tiny cabin on the boat what a wonderful little home it appeared to me everything was spotless the only article of furniture that the cabin contained was a bureau but what the bureau bed, mattress, billows and covers combined in the text of the bed were drawers containing brushes, combs, etc there was no table or chairs at least not in the usual shape but against the wall was a plank which when pulled down was found to be a little square table and chair how pleased I was to get into that little bed it was the first time in my life that I had felt soft sheets against my face Mother Barbara was very hard and used to rub my cheeks and Vitalis and I had often slept without sheets and those at the cheap lodging houses at which we stayed were just as rough as Mother Barbara's I woke early for I wanted to know how my animals had passed the night I found them all at the place where I had installed them the night before and sleeping as though the beautiful badge had been the home for several months the dogs jumped up as I approached but pretty hard although he had one eye half open did not move instead he commenced to snore like a drumworn I gested once what was the matter pretty hard was very sensitive he got angry very quickly and sulked for a long time in the present circumstances he was annoyed because I had not taken him into my cabin and he showed his displeasure by pretending to be asleep I could not explain to him why I had been forced to leave him on deck and as I felt that I had at least an appearance he stunned him in injury I took him in my arms and cuddled him to show him that I was sorry at first he continued to sulk but soon with his changeable temper he thought of something else and by his signs made me understand that if he would take him for a walk on land he would perhaps forgive me when I was cleaning the deck I was willing to throw a blanket cross fast and I went off to the fields with my troupe the time passed playing with the dogs chasing pretty hard when we returned the horses were harnessed and the barge in readiness to start as soon as we were all on the board the horses began to trot along the throwing pass we glided over the water without feeling a movement and the only sound to be heard was the song of the birds the swish of the water against the boat and the tingle of bells around the horses necks and there the water seemed quite black as though it was of great depths in other parts it was crystal clear and you could see the shiny bubbles and well with the grass below I was gazing down into the water when I heard someone call my name it was Arthur he was being carried out on his board did you sleep well? he asked better than in the field I told him that I had after had politely spoken to Mrs. Milligan and the dogs asked Arthur Mrs. Milligan had placed a sun in the shade and had taken a seat beside him now she said to me you must take the dogs and monkey away we are going to work I went with the animals to the front of the boat what work could that poor little boy do? I looked round and saw that his mother was making him repeat a lesson from a book she held in her hand he seemed to be having great difficulty in mastering it but he had no idea what he was doing with the difficulty in mastering it but his mother was very patient no she said at last Arthur you don't know it at all I can't mama I just can't he said plaintively I am sick your head is not sick I can't allow you to grow up in utter ignorance because you are an invalid Arthur that seemed very severe to me yet she spoke in a sweet kind way why do you make me so unhappy you know how I feel when you won't learn I cannot mama I cannot and he began to cry but Mrs. Milligan did not let herself be won over by his tears although she appeared touched and even more unhappy I would have liked to have let you play this morning with Remy and his dogs she said but you cannot play until you know your lessons perfectly instead she gave the book to Arthur and walked away leaving him alone from where I stood I could hear him crying how could his mother who appeared to love him so much be so severe with the little poor fellow the moment later she returned shall we try again she asked gently she sat down beside him taking the book she began to read a fable called the wolf and the sheep she read it through three times then gave the book back to Arthur and told him to learn it alone she went inside the boat I could see Arthur's lips moving he certainly was trying very hard but soon he took his eyes off the book his lips stopped moving his look wandered everywhere but not back to his book I made a sign to him to go on with his lesson he smiled so to thank me for reminding him and again fixed his eyes on the book but as before he could not concentrate his thoughts his eyes began to roll from one side of the kennel to the other just then a bird flew over the boat swiftly as in arrow Arthur reached his head to follow its flight when it had passed he looked at me I can't learn this he said and yet I want to I went over to him yes it is it's awfully difficult it seems to me quite easy I was listening while your mother read it and I almost learned it myself he smiled as though he did not believe it do you want me to say it to you you can't shall I try you take the book he took up the book again and I began to recite the verse I had it almost perfect what do you know it? not quite but next time I could say it without a mistake I believe how did you learn it I listened while your mother read it but listened attentively without looking about to see what was going on around me he ran and turned away his eyes I will try like you he said but tell me what did you do to remember the words I did not quite know how to explain but I tried my best what is the fable about they said sheep well first of all a sort of a sheep the sheep were in a field I could see them lying down and sleeping in the field picturing them so I didn't forget yes yes he said I can see them black and white ones in a green field what looks after the sheep usually dogs and a shepherd if they saw the sheep were quite safe what did they do the dog slept while the shepherd played his flute in the distance with the other shepherds little by little I saw the entire fable pictured in his mind's eye I explained every detail as well as I was able when he was sorely interested we went over the lines together within an hour he mastered it oh how pleased mama will be he cried when his mother came out she seemed displeased and we were together she thought that we had been playing but as I did not give her time to say a word I know it he cried Mrs. Milligan looked at me in surprise but before she could say a word as I commenced to recite the fable I looked at Mrs. Milligan her beautiful face broke into a smile then I saw tears in her eyes but she bent her head quickly over her son and put her arms about him I was not sure if she was crying the words mean nothing said Asa they are stupid but the things that one sees Remy made me see the shepherd with his flute and the fields and the dogs and the sheep then the wolves and I could even hear the music that the shepherd was playing shall I sing the song to you mama and he sang a little sad song in English this time Mrs. Milligan did rarely cry for when she got up from her seat I saw that Asa's cheeks were wet with her tears then she came to me and taking my hand in hers pressed it gently you are a good boy, she said the evening before I had been a little tramp who had come on the batch with his animals to amuse a sick child but this lesson drew me apart from the dogs and the monkey I was for now a companion almost a friend to the sick boy from that day there was a change in Mrs. Milligan's manner toward me and between us and myself I grew a strong friendship there was once felt a difference in our positions this may have been due to Mrs. Milligan's kindness for she often spoke to me as though over her child when the country was interesting we would go very slowly but if the landscape was dreary the horses would drop quickly along the towing pass when the sun went down the batch stopped when the sun rose the batch started on again if the evenings were damp we went into the little cabin and set around the bright fire so that the sick boy should not feel chilly Mrs. Milligan would read to us and show us pictures and tell us beautiful stories then when the evenings were beautiful I did my part I would take my hub and when the boat had stopped I would get off and go at a short distance and sit behind the tree then hidden by the branches I played and sang my best on calm nights I asked I like to hear the music without being able to see you played and when I played his favorite air she would call out on car and I would play the piece over again that was a beautiful life for the country boy who had set by mother Barbara's fire side and who had dreamt the high roads within your vitalis but the difference between the dish of bull potatoes that my poor foster mother had given me and the delicious tarts, jellies and creams that Mrs. Milligan's cook made what the contrast between the long tramps in the mud, the pouring rain the scorching sun, trudging behind vitalis and this ride on the beautiful batch the pastry was delicious and yes it was fine also fine not to be hungry not tired, not too hot, not too cold but in justice to myself I must say that it was the kindness and love of this lady and this little boy that I felt the most twice I had been torn from those I loved first from your mother Barbara and then from vitalis I was left with only the dogs and the monkey hungry and futzwer and any beautiful lady is a child of about my own age had taken me in and treated me as though a very brother often as I looked at Asa strapped to his bench, pale and drawn I envied him, eyes so full of hastened strength envied little sick boy it was not the luxuries that surrounded him that I envied, not the boat it was his mother oh how I wanted a mother of my own she kissed him and he was able to put his arms around her whenever he wished this lady whose hand is castley to her touch when she held it out to me and I thought sadly that I should never have a mother who would kiss me and whom I could kiss but sadly I should see mother Barbara again and that would make me very happy but I could not call her mother now for she was not my mother I was alone, I should always be alone nobody's boy I was old enough to know that one shouldn't expect too much from this world and I thought that as I had no family no father or mother I should be thankful that I had friends I was happy, so happy on that badge but alas it was not too last long the day was drawing near for me my whole life again end of chapter 11 recording by ellie july 2010 chapter 12 of nobody's boy this is a lyprovox recording only provokes recordings in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit lyprovox.org recording by ellie nobody's boy by ectoma lo translated by florence croutons chapter 12 the master's consent it was all to end this beautiful trip that I have made on the badge no nice bed no nice pastry no evenings listening to mrs milligan ah, no mrs milligan or aster one day I decided to ask mrs milligan how long it would take me to get back to Toulouse I wanted to be waiting at the present door when my master came out when aster helped me speak of going back he began to cry I don't want him to go I told him that I belonged to Vitalis and that he paid the sum of money for me and that I must return to him the moment he wanted me I had spoken of my foster parents but never said that they were not really my father and mother I felt ashamed to admit that I was a fondling a child picked up in the streets I knew how the children from the fondling's hospital had been scorned it seemed to me that it was the most abject thing in the world to be a fondling I did not want mrs milligan and aster to know would they not have turned from me in disdain mama we must keep Remy continued aster I should be very pleased to keep Remy with us replied mrs milligan we are so fond of him but there are two things first Remy would have to want to say or he does he does don't you Remy? you don't want to go back to Toulouse? the second is continued mrs milligan will his master give him up Remy comes first and aster insisted vitalis had been a group master and I was very grateful for all he had taught me but there was no comparison between my life with him and that which I should have with aster and at the same time there was also no comparison between the respect I had for vitalis and the affection which I felt for mrs milligan and her invalid boy I felt that it was wrong in me to prefer this strange as to my master but it was so I loved mrs milligan and aster if Remy stays with us for a while he would have to do lessons the same as you he would have to study a great deal it would not be the free life that he would have in going camping along the roads ah you know what I would like I began there you see mama all that we have to do now continued mrs milligan is to get his master's consent I will write and ask him if he will come here for we cannot return to Toulouse I will send him his sphere for the reason why we cannot take the train I will invite him here and to hope he will accept if he agrees to my proposition I will then make arrangements with your parents Remy for of course they must be consulted consult my parents they will tell her what I have been trying to keep secret that I am a fondling that neither aster nor mrs milligan would want me a boy who did not know his unfaithful mother had been a companion to aster as did mrs milligan in a fright he did not know what to say she looked at me in surprise I did not dare reply to her question when she asked me what was the matter probably thinking that I was upset at the thought of her master coming she did not insist as I looked at me curiously all evening I was glad when bedtime came and I could close myself in my cabin that was my first bad night on this one what could I do, what to say perhaps vitalis would not give me up then they would never know the truth my shame and fear of them finding out the truth was so great that I began to hope that vitalis would insist upon me staying with him three days later mrs milligan received a reply to the letter she had sent to vitalis he said that he would be pleased to come and see her and that he would arrive the following saturday by the two o'clock train I asked permission to go to the station with the dogs and pretty hard to meet him in the morning the dogs were restless I saw they knew that something was going to happen pretty hard was indifferent I was terribly excited my fate was to be decided if I had possessed the courage I would have employed vitalis not to tell mrs milligan that I was a fondling but they felt that I could not utter the word even to him I stood on the corner of the railway station holding my dogs on a leash with pretty hard under my coat and waited as a little offered passed around me it was the dogs who warned me that the train had arrived they sent it their master suddenly there was a target the leash as it was not on my guard they broke loose with the bark they bounded forward I saw them spring upon vitalis more sure although less subtle than the other two Kapi had jumped straight into his master's arms while Sabino and Dulce jumped at his feet when vitalis saw me he put Kapi down quickly and threw his arms around me for the first time he kissed me God bless you my boy he said again and again my master had never been hard with me and I was very affectionate and I was not used to these effusions I was touched and the tears came to my eyes for I was in the mood when the heart is easily stirred I looked at him his day in prison had aged him greatly his back was bent his face paler and his lips bloodless you find me changed don't ury me he said I was none too happy in prison but I'll be better now I'm out then changing the subject he added tell me about this lady who wrote to me how did you get to know her? I told him how I met Mrs. Milligan and us in the abodge, this one, on the canal and of what we had seen and what we had done I rambled along hardly knowing what they said now that they saw vitalis I felt that it would be impossible to tell him that they wanted to leave him and stay with Mrs. Milligan we reached the hotel where Mrs. Milligan was staying before my story was ended vitalis had not mentioned what she proposed to him in her letter so I said nothing of her plan is this lady expecting me? he asked as we entered the hotel yes, I'll take you up to her apartment I said there's no occasion for that, he replied I'll go up alone, you wait here for me it was pretty hard on the dogs I had always obeyed him but in this case I felt that it was only fair for me to go up with him to Mrs. Milligan's apartment but with the sign he stopped the words on my lips and I was forced to stay below with the dogs why didn't he want me to be present when he spoke to Mrs. Milligan I asked myself this question again and again I was still pondering over it when he returned go and say goodbye to the lady he said briefly I'll wait for you here we shall go in 10 minutes I was understruck well, he said didn't you understand me? you stand here like a stupid, hurry up he had never spoken so roughly to me mechanically I got up to obey not seeming to understand what did you say to her? I had gone a few steps I said that I needed you and that you needed me and consequently I was not going to give up my rights to you go, I'll give you 10 minutes to say goodbye I was so possessed by the fact that there was a foundling that I thought that if I had to leave immediately it was because my master had told him about my birth upon entering Mrs. Milligan's apartment I found Arthur in tears and his mother bending over him you won't go with me I could not speak Mrs. Milligan replied for me telling Arthur that they had to do as I was told Senior Vitalis would not consent to let us have you, said Mrs. Milligan in a voice so sad he's a wicked man, cried Arthur no, he's not a wicked man continued Mrs. Milligan he loves you and he needs you he speaks like a man five of his position he told me, let me see these were his words I loved that child and he loves me the apprenticeship in the life I give him is good for him, better, far better than he would have with you you can give him an education, that is true you would form his mind, but not his character it is the hardships of life that they long can do that he cannot be your son, he will be mine that is better than to be a blazing for your sick child however sweet he may be I also will teach the boy but he isn't Remy's father, cried Arthur that is true, but he is his master and Remy belongs to him for the time being, Remy must obey him his parents rented him to see your vitalis but I will write to them and see what I can do oh no, no, don't do that, I cried what do you mean oh no, please don't but that is the only thing to do my child oh please, please don't if Mrs. Milligan had not spoken of my parents I should have taken much more than the 10 minutes to say goodbye that my master had given me they live in Chauvinot, do they not ask Mrs. Milligan without replying I went up to Arthur and putting my arms around him clung to him for a moment then freeing myself from his weak clasp I turned and held up my hand to Mrs. Milligan poor child, she murmured kissing me in the forehead I hurried to the door Arthur, I will love you always I said, choking back my sorbs and I never, never will forget you Mrs. Milligan Remy, Remy, cried Arthur I closed the door one moment later I was with Vitalis of Vigo, he said and that was how I parted from my first boyfriend end of Chapter 12 recording by Ellie July 2010 Chapter 13 of Nobody's Boy this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by LT Nobody's Boy by Hector Malau translated by Florence Crue Jones Chapter 13 weary dreary days again I had to tramp behind my master with the harp strapped to my shoulder through the rain the sun, the dust and the mud I had to play the fool and laugh and cry in order to please the distinguished audience more than once in our long walks I lagged behind to think of Arthur, his mother Juan when I was in some dirty village how I would long for my pretty cabin on the barge and how rough the sheets were now it was terrible to think that I should never again play with Arthur and never hear his mother's voice fortunately in my sorrow which was very deep I had one consolation Vitalis was much kinder kinder than he had ever been before his manner with me had quite changed I felt that he was more to me than a master now often if I dared I would have embraced him I so needed love but I had not the courage for Vitalis was not a man with whom one dared be familiar at first it had been fear that kept me at a distance but now it was something vague which resembled a sentiment of respect when I left the village I had looked upon Vitalis the same as the other men of the poorer class I was not able to make distinctions but the two months that I had lived with Mrs. Milligan had opened my eyes and developed my intelligence looking at my master with more attention it seemed to me that in manner and bearing he appeared to be very superior his ways were like Mrs. Milligan's ways weeks past in our tramps now my eyes were always turned in the direction of the water not to the hills I was always hoping that one day I should see the swan if I saw a boat in the distance I always thought that it might be the swan but it was not we passed several days at Lyons and all my spare time I spent on the docks looking up and down the river I described the beautiful barge to the fishermen and asked them if they had seen it but no one had seen it we had to leave Lyons at last and went on to Dijon then I began to give up hope of ever seeing Mrs. Milligan again for at Lyons I had studied all the maps of France and I knew that the swan could not go further up the river to reach the Loire it would branch off at Chalon we arrived at Chalon and we went on again without seeing it it was the end of my dream to make things worse the winter was now upon us and we had to tramp along wearily in the blinding rain and slush at night when we arrived at a wretched inn or in a barn tired out wet to the skin I could not drop off to sleep with laughter on my lips and pretty heart was as sad and mournful as myself my master's object was to get to Paris as quickly as possible for it was only in Paris that we had a chance to give performances during the winter we were making very little money now so we could not afford to take the train after the cold sleet the wind turned to the north it had been very damp for several days at first we did not mind the biting north wind in our faces but soon the sky was filled with great black clouds and the wintry sun disappeared altogether we knew that a snowstorm was coming Vitalis was anxious to get to the next big town where we could stay and give several performances if very bad weather overtook us go to bed quickly he said when we got to an inn that night we're going to start at a very early hour tomorrow because I don't want to be caught on a snowstorm he did not go to bed at once but sat down by a corner of the kitchen fire to warm pretty heart who was suffering terribly from the cold the monkey had not ceased moaning although we had wrapped him up in plenty of coverlets the next morning I got up early as I had been told it was not yet day the sky was lowering in black and there was not a star to be seen when we opened the door a strong wind almost took us off our feet if I were in your place said the innkeeper to Vitalis I wouldn't venture out we're going to have a terrible snowstorm I'm in a hurry replied Vitalis and I want to get to Troyes before it comes on 30 miles nevertheless we started Vitalis held pretty heart tight against his body so as to give him some of his own warmth and the dogs pleased with the hard dry roads raced before us my master had bought a sheepskin for me at Dijon and I wrapped myself up in it with the wool inside it was anything but agreeable when we opened our mouths so we walked along in silence hurrying as much to get warm as to get ahead although it was long past the hour of daybreak the sky was still quite black although to the east a whitish band cut the clouds yet the sun would not come out looking across the country objects were now becoming more distinct we could see the trees stripped of their leaves and the shrubs and bushes with dry foliage rustling and cracking with the heavy gusts of wind there was no one on the roads nor in the fields not a sound of cartwheels nor a crack of a whip suddenly in the distance we could see a pale streak which got larger and larger as it came towards us then we heard a sort of hissing murmur the strange harsh cry of the wild geese the maddened flock flew over our heads on they went wildly fleeing from the north toward the south before they were out of sight soft flakes were dropping gently from the skies and floating in the atmosphere the country through which we had tramped was desolate and bleak the mournful aspect seemed to add to the silence only the shrill whistling of the north wind was heard snowflakes like tiny butterflies fluttered around us whirling incessantly without touching the ground we made very little headway it seemed impossible that we could reach Troyas before the storm was finally upon us but I did not worry I thought that if the snow fell it would not be so cold I did not know what a snow storm could be it was not long before I learned and in a way that I shall never forget the clouds were gathering from the northwest the flakes no longer hovered in the air but fell straight and swift covering us from head to foot we shall have to take shelter in the first house we come to, murmured Vitalis we cannot make Troyas I was pleased to hear him say that but where could we find shelter as far as the eye could reach there was not a house to be seen nor anything to indicate that we were nearing a village before us lay a forest with its dark depths and on either side of us the hills the snow came down faster and thicker we tramped in silence my master lifted his sheepskin now and again for pretty heart to breathe more easily from time to time we had to turn our heads to one side so that we could also breathe the dogs no longer raced ahead they walked at our heels asking for the shelter that we were unable to give them we went slowly and painfully on blinded, wet and frozen and although we were now in the heart of the forest the road through it was exposed to the full wind several times I saw my master glance to the left as though he were looking for something but he said nothing what did he hope to find I looked straight before me down the long road as far as my eye could reach I could see nothing but woods on either side I thought that we should never come to the end of the forest I had seen the snow falling only through the window panes of a warm kitchen how far off that warm kitchen seemed now our feet sunk into the white bed of snow deeper and deeper then suddenly without saying a word Vitalas pointed to the left I looked and saw indistinctly a little hut made of branches we had to find the track that led to the hut this was difficult for the snow was already thick enough to efface all trace of a path we scrambled through the bushes and after crossing a ditch we managed at last to reach the hut and get inside the dogs in ecstasy rolled over and over on the dry ground barking our satisfaction was no less keen than theirs I thought there would be a woodcutter's cabin somewhere in the forest, said Vitalas now it can snow yes, let it snow, I said defiantly, I don't care I went to the door or rather to the opening of the hut for there was neither door nor window and shook my coat and hat so as not to wet the inside of our apartment our quarters were very simply but strongly built its furniture consisted of a heap of dirt and some big stones for seats in a house like this it was not difficult to find fuel we only had to take it down from the walls and the roof dragging out a few faggots here and there this was quickly done and soon we had a bright flaming fire it is true that the hut was soon filled with smoke but what did that matter there was a flame and it was heat that we wanted I lay down supporting myself on my two hands and blew the fire the dogs sat around the great gravely with neck stretched out they presented their wet sides to the flames pretty heart soon ventured to peep from under Vitalas's coat prudently putting the end of his nose outside he looked about to take in his surroundings evidently satisfied he jumped quickly to the ground and taking the best place before the fire he held out his two little trembling hands to the flames that morning before I had risen Vitalas had packed some provisions there was some bread and a piece of cheese we all expressed satisfaction at the sight of the food unfortunately we were only able to have a very small piece for not knowing how long we should have to stay in the hut Vitalas thought it advisable to keep some for supper I understood but the dogs did not and when they saw the bread put back in the bag before they had scarcely eaten they held out their paws to their master scratching his neck and performing pantomime gestures to him to open the bag upon which their eyes were fixed but Vitalas took no notice of them the bag was not opened the dogs settled themselves to go to sleep cappy with his nose in the cinders I thought that I would follow their example I do not know how long I slept when I awoke the snow had stopped falling I looked outside it was very deep if we ventured out it would come above our knees what time was it I could not ask Vitalas his big silver watch by which cappy had told the hour had been sold he had spent all his money to pay his prison fine and when he bought my sheepskin at Dijon he had parted with his big watch to pay for it from the misty atmosphere it was impossible for me to tell what hour it might be there was not a sound to be heard the snow seemed to have petrified every movement of life I was standing in the opening of our cabin when I heard my master calling do you want to get on your way he asked I don't know I want to do what you wish well I think we ought to stay here we are at least sheltered and have warmth that was true but I remembered that we had no food however I said nothing I'm afraid it will snow again continued Vitalas we don't want to spend the night outside better stay here yes we should have to stay in the hut and tighten our belts round our stomachs at supper Vitalas divided the remainder of the bread alas there was but little and it was quickly eaten we gobbled up every crumb when our frugal supper was over I thought that the dogs would begin making signs for more as they had done before for they were ravenous but they did nothing of the kind and once again I realized how great was their intelligence when Vitalas thrust his knife into his trouser pocket which indicated that the feast was over and he smelled the bag in which the food was kept he then placed his paw on the bag to feel it this double investigation convinced him that there was nothing left to eat then coming back to his place before the fire he looked at Zurbino and Dulcey the look clearly signified that they would get nothing more then he stretched himself out his entire length with a sigh of resignation there is nothing more it is useless to beg he said this to them as plainly as though he had spoken aloud his companions understanding this language also stretched out before the fire sighing but Zurbino's sigh in no wise betokened resignation for added to a large appetite Zurbino was very much a gourmand and this was a greater sacrifice for him than for the others the snow had commenced to fall again it fell persistently we could see the white carpet on the ground rise higher and higher until the small shrubs and bushes were hidden beneath it when night came big flakes were still falling from the black sky onto the shimmering earth as we had to sleep there the best thing to do was go to sleep as quickly as possible I wrapped myself up in my sheepskin which I had dried by the fire during the day and I laid down beside the fire my head on a flat stone which served for a pillow you go to sleep said Vitalis I'll wake you when it's my turn for although we have nothing to fear from animals or people in this cabin one of us must keep awake to see that the fire does not go out we must be careful not to get cold for it will be bitter when the snow stops I slept in the small hours of the night my master woke me the fire was still burning and the snow had stopped falling it's my turn to sleep now said Vitalis as the fire goes down you throw on this wood that I've already got here he had piled up a heap of small wood by the grate my master who slept much lighter than I did not wish me to wake him by pulling down the wood from the walls each time I needed it so from this heap that he had prepared I could take the wood and throw on the fire without making a noise it was a wise thing to do but alas Vitalis did not know what the result would be he stretched out now before the fire with pretty heart in his coverlet cuddled up against him and soon from his deep breathing I knew that he had fallen asleep then I got up softly and went to the opening to see how it looked outside all the grass, the bushes and the trees and the snow everywhere the eye rested was a dazzling white the sky was dotted with twinkling stars but although they were so bright it was the snow which shed the pale light over the earth it was much colder now it was freezing hard oh what should we have done in the depths of the forest and the snow and the cold if we had not found this shelter although I had walked on tiptoe to the opening without scarcely making a sound I had roused the dogs and Zurbino had followed me the splendor of the night was nothing to him he looked on the scene for a moment and then became bored and wanted to go outside I ordered him to return to his place foolish dog wasn't it better to stay by the warm fire in this terrible cold than to go prowling around he obeyed me but with a very bad grace and kept his eyes fixed on the entrance I stayed there for a few minutes longer looking at the white night it was beautiful but although I enjoyed it somehow I felt a vague sadness I could have gone inside and not looked of course but the white mysterious scene held me fascinated at last I went back to the fire and having placed two or three long pieces of wood crossways upon one another I sat down on the stone which had served me for a pillow my master was sleeping calmly the dogs and pretty heart also slept and the flames leaped from the fire and swirled upward to the roof throwing out bright sparks the spluttering flame was the only sound that broke the silence of the night for a long time I watched the sparks then little by little I began to get drowsy without my being aware if I had been compelled to busy myself with getting the wood I could have kept awake but seated before the fire with nothing to do I became so sleepy and yet all the time I thought that I could manage to keep awake I sprang up suddenly, awakened by a violent barking it was night I probably had slept for a long time and the fire was almost out no flames lit the hut now Cappy was barking loudly, furiously but strange there was no sound from Zurbino or Dulce what's the matter? cried Vitalis waking up I don't know you've been to sleep and the fire's gone out Cappy had run to the opening but had not ventured outside he stood on the threshold barking what has happened? I asked in my turn the answer to Cappy's barks came two or three mournful howls I recognized Dulce's voice these howls came from behind our hut and at a very short distance I was going out but Vitalis put his hand on my shoulder and stopped me first he said in a tone of command put some wood on the fire while I obeyed he took a sprig from the fire and blew it out until only the point remained burning he held the torch in his hand come and see what is the matter he said you walk behind me go ahead Cappy as we went out there was a frightful howl Cappy drew back cowering behind us in terror wolves where is Zurbino and Dulce what could I say the two dogs must have gone out while I slept Zurbino had waited until I was asleep and then had crept out and Dulce had followed him the wolves had gotten hold of them there was fear in my master's voice take a torch he said we must go to their aid in our village I had heard them tell terrible stories of wolves yet I could not hesitate I ran back for a torch then followed my master but outside we could see neither dogs nor wolves on the snow we could only see the imprint of the two dogs paws we followed these traces around the hut then at a certain distance we could see a space in the snow which looked as though some animals had been rolling in it go and look for them Cappy said my master at the same time he whistled to attract Zurbino and Dulce but there was no barking in reply no sound disturbed the mournful silence of the forest and Cappy instead of running off as he was told kept close to us giving every sign of fear Cappy who was usually so obedient and brave there was not sufficient light for us to follow the imprints any distance the snow around us was dazzling but beyond seemed all vague and obscure again Vitalis whistled and shouted for the missing dogs there was no answering bark oh poor Zurbino poor Dulce the wolves have got them said Vitalis why did you let them go out yes why I had nothing to say we must go and look for them I said after a pause I went before him but he stopped me where will you look for them he asked everywhere we can't tell in this dim light where they have gone that was true and the snow came up above our knees our two torches together could not penetrate the shadows if they do not reply it is because they are a long way off he said we must not go on the wolves might attack us also we cannot defend ourselves it was dreadful to have to leave the poor dogs to their feet our two friends friends particularly to me and the terrible part of it was that I knew that I was responsible if I had not slept they would not have gone out my master had turned back to the hut I followed looking back at each step stopping to listen I heard nothing and saw nothing but the snow when we reached the hut another surprise awaited us the branches that I had thrown on the fire were aflame and lit up the darkest corners of the cabin but pretty heart was nowhere to be seen his coverlets were there before the fire but he was not in them I called my talus called but he did not appear my master said that when he awoke the monkey was beside him so it was while we were out that he had disappeared with our burning torches held down to the snowy earth we started out to look for him we found no trace of him we returned to the hut to see if he were hidden behind some faggots we searched for a long time ten times we looked in the same place the same corners I climbed up on Vitalis' shoulders to look amongst the branches of which the roof was made we called out again and again but there was no answer Vitalis seemed angry I was in despair I asked my master if he thought that the wolves could have taken him also no he said the wolves would not dare to come into the hut I am afraid they got Zorbino and Dulcey when they went out but they did not come in here it is quite likely that pretty heart was terrified and has hidden himself somewhere while we were outside that is why I am so anxious in this terrible weather he will catch cold and cold is fatal for him well let us keep on looking we went over the ground again but all in vain we must wait till day said Vitalis when will it be day in two or three hours I think Vitalis sat down before the fire with his head in his hands I did not dare disturb him I stood quite close to him only moving occasionally to put some branches on the fire once or twice he got up and went to the door he looked at the sky listened attentively then came back and sat down I would rather that he had been angry with me than that he should be so silent and sad the three hours passed slowly it seemed that the night would never end the stars were fading from the heavens the sky was getting lighter day was breaking but as morning came the cold grew more intense the air which came through the door froze us to the bone if we did find pretty heart would he be alive the snow had quite stopped falling now and there was a pinkish light in the sky which foretold fine weather as soon as it was quite light Vitalis and I armed with a stout stick left the hut Cappy did not appear so terrified as he had been the night before as his eyes fixed on his master he only waited for a sign from him to rush forward as we were examining the ground for pretty heart's footprints Cappy threw back his head and began to bark joyfully he signified that we must look up not on the ground in the great oak standing by the hut we found him poor pretty heart frightened by the howling of the dogs he had jumped onto the roof of the cabin when we had gone out and from there he had climbed to the top of an oak seeing that he was in a safe place he had remained crouching without replying to our calls the poor little frail creature he must be frozen my master called him gently he did not move we thought that he was already dead for several minutes Vitalis continued to call him but the monkey gave no sign of life my heart ached with remorse how severely I was being punished I must atone I'll go up and get him I said you'll break your neck no there is no danger I can do it easily that was not true there was danger it was very difficult for the large tree was covered with ice and snow when I was quite small I had learned to climb trees and I was quite an adept in this art I jumped and caught hold of the lowest branches I held onto these and although blinded by the snow that fell in my eyes I managed to climb up the trunk to the stronger branches once up there I had only to be careful not to lose my footing as I climbed I spoke softly to pretty heart he did not move but looked at me with shining eyes I had almost reached him and was about to stretch out my hand when with a spring he had jumped to another branch I followed him to this branch but men, alas, and even youngsters are very inferior to monkeys when it comes to climbing trees it is quite possible that I should never have caught him if the snow had not wet his feet he did not like this and soon got tired of dodging me then letting himself drop from branch to branch he jumped straight onto his master's shoulders and hid himself inside his coat it was a great thing to have found pretty heart but that was not all now we had to look for the dogs it was day now and easy for us to see what had happened in the snow we read the death of our dogs we followed their footprints for 30 yards they had come out of the hut one behind the other Dulcy following Zurbino then we saw other footprints on one side there were signs of a struggle where the wolves had sprung upon the dogs and on the other side were the footprints of the wolves where they had trotted off carrying their prey with them to be devoured at their leisure there was no trace of the dogs except a red trail of blood which here and there stained the snow the two poor dogs had gone to their death while I slept we had to get busy as quickly as possible with warming pretty heart we hurried back to the hut why Vitalis held out the little creature's feet and hands to the fire as one holds a tiny baby I warmed his coverlets and we rolled him up in them but he needed more than the coverlets he needed a warm drink my master and I sat by the fire silent watching the wood burn poor Zurbino poor Dulcy each of us murmured these words first he, then I the dogs had been our friends our companions in good and bad fortune and to me in my loneliness they had meant so much how deeply I reproached myself for not having kept watch the wolves would not have come to attack us in our cabin they would have stayed in the distance frightened by the fire if only Vitalis would have scolded me I wished that he would beat me but he said nothing he did not even look at me he sat with his head bent over the fire probably wondering what would become of us without the dogs End of Chapter 13 Chapter 14 of Nobody's Boy This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Siobhan McKelpin Nobody's Boy by Hector Milat translated by Florence Crue Jones Chapter 14 The Death of Pretty Heart The sun came out brightly its rays fell on the white snow and the forest, which the night before had looked so bleak and livid was now dazzling with a radiancy that blinded the eyes several times Vitalis passed his hand under the coverlet to feel pretty heart but the poor little monkey did not get warmer and when I bent over him I could hear him shivering and shaking the blood in his veins was frozen we must get to a village or Pretty Heart will die said Vitalis let us start at once his wrappings were well heated and the little creature was rolled in them my master placed him under his vest next to his heart we were ready this was a shelter said Vitalis looking round the hut as we were going out that has made us pay dearly for its hospitality his voice trembled he went out first and I followed in his footsteps when we had gone a few yards we had to call out to Cappy Poor Dog he had remained standing outside the hut his nose turned to the spot where his companions had been taken by the wolves ten minutes later we reached the main road we passed a cart the driver told us that within an hour we should reach a village this was encouraging yet it was difficult even painful to walk the snow came up to my waist many times I asked Vitalis after Pretty Heart each time he told me that he was still shivering at last we saw the white roofs of a fair sized village we were not in the habit of putting up at the better class ends we always chose a poor place where we were sure we would not be driven away and where they would not take all we had but this time Vitalis went into an inn where a beautiful sign hung outside the kitchen door the door was open and we could see the great stove covering with shiny copper sauce pans from which the steam was rising ah how good that soup smelled to the famished wanderers my master putting on his most gentle minley heirs and with his hat on his head and his head thrown back asked the landlady for a good bed and a fire at first the landlady who was a fine looking woman had not condescended to notice us but Vitalis's grand manner evidently impressed her she spoke to a maid and told her to take us up to a room quick get into bed said Vitalis while the servant was lighting the fire I looked at him in astonishment why go to bed I would rather sit down and eat something than go to bed quick hurry up repeated Vitalis there was nothing to do but obey there was an iron don quilt on the bed Vitalis pulled it right up to my chin try and get warm he said the warmer you are the better it seemed to me that pretty hard needed warming much more than I because I was not very cold now while I laid still under the iron down trying to get warm Vitalis to the servant's astonishment turned little pretty heart round and round before the fire as though he were going to roast him are you warm Vitalis asked me after a few minutes I'm suffocating that's right he came to the bed quickly he put pretty heart in telling me to hold him close to my chest the poor little animal who always rebelled when he was made to do something that he did not want seemed resigned to everything he let me hold him close to my body without making a movement but he was not cold now his body was burning my master who had gone down to the kitchen soon returned carrying a bowl of well sweetened wine he tried to make pretty hard drink a few spoonfuls but the poor little creature could not unclench his teeth with his brilliant eyes he looked at us imploringly as though to ask us not to torment him then he drew one arm from under the covers and held it out to us I wondered what he meant I looked inquirely at Vitalis who explained before I had met them pretty heart had had an inflammation of the lungs and they had had to bleed him taking the blood from his arm knowing that he was sick now he wanted us to bleed him so that he could get better as before poor little monkey Vitalis was touched to the heart and this made him still more anxious it was evident that pretty heart was ill and he must be very ill indeed to refuse the sugared wine that he liked so much drink the wine Remy and stay in bed said Vitalis I'll go for a doctor I must admit that I also liked sugar wine and besides I was very hungry I did not let him tell me twice to drink it after I had emptied the bowl I slid down under the idler down again where the heat aided by the wine nearly suffocated me Vitalis was not gone long he soon returned bringing with him a gentleman wearing gold rim spectacles the doctor thinking that the doctor might not put himself out for a monkey Vitalis had told him not who was his patient when he saw me in bed as red as a tomato the doctor put his hand on my forehead and at once said congestion he shook his head with an air which argued nothing good anxious to undeceive him for fear he might bleed me I cried why I'm not ill not ill why the child is delirious I lifted the quilt a bit and showed him pretty heart who had placed his little arm around my neck he's the one that's ill I said a monkey he exclaimed turning angrily to Vitalis you've brought me out in such weather to see a monkey our master was a smart man who was not easily ruffled slightly and with his grand air he stopped the doctor then he explained the situation how he had been caught in a snowstorm and how through fear of the wolves pretty heart had jumped into an oak tree where he had been almost frozen to death the patient might only be a monkey but what a genius and what a friend and companion to us how could we confide such a wonderful, talented creature to the care of a simple veterinary surgeon everyone knew the village veterinary was an ass while everyone knew that the doctors were scientific men even in the smallest village if one rings at a door which bears a doctor's name one is sure to find a man of knowledge and of generosity although the monkey is only an animal according to naturalists they are so near like men that often an illness is treated the same as one for the other and was it not interesting from a scientific point of view to study how these illnesses differed the doctor soon returned from the door where he had been standing pretty heart who had probably guessed that this person wearing the spectacles was a physician again pushed out his arm look! cried Vitalis he wants you to bleed him most interesting a very interesting case he murmured alas! after examining him the doctor told us that poor little pretty heart had again inflammation of the lungs the doctor took his arm and thrust a lancet into a vein without him making the slightest moan pretty heart knew that this ought to cure him after the bleeding he required a good deal of attention I, of course, had not stayed in bed I was the nurse carrying out Vitalis' instructions poor little pretty heart he liked me to nurse him he looked at me and smiled sadly his look was quite human he, who was usually so quick and petulant always playing tricks on one of us was now quiet and obedient in the days that follow he tried to show us how friendly he felt toward us even to Cappy, who had so often been the victim of his tricks as is the usual trend for inflammation of the lungs he soon began to cough the attacks tired him greatly for his little body shook convulsively all the money which I had, five sews I spent on sugar sticks for him but they made him worse instead of better with his keen instinct he soon noticed that every time he coughed I gave him a little piece of sugar stick he took advantage of this and coughed every moment in order to get the remedy that he liked so much and this remedy instead of curing him made him worse when I found out this trick I naturally stopped giving him the candy but he was not discouraged first he begged for it with an appealing look then when he saw that I would not give it to him he sat up in his seat and bent his little body with his hand on his stomach and coughed with all his might the veins on his forehead stood out and tears ran from his eyes and his pretense at choking in the end turned to a dreadful attack over which he had no control I had to stay at the end with pretty heart while my master went out alone one morning upon his return he told me that the landlady had demanded the sum that we owed her this was the first time that he had ever spoken to me about money it was quite by chance that I had learned that he had sold his watch to buy my sheepskin now he told me that he had only 50 sews left the only thing to do he said was to give a performance that same day a performance without serbino, dulci, or pretty heart why that seemed to be impossible we must give 40 francs at once he said pretty heart must be looked after we must have a fire in the room and medicine and the landlady must be paid if we pay her what we owe her she will still give us another credit 40 francs in this village in the cold and which such poor resources at our command while I stayed at home with pretty heart Vitalis found a hall in the public market for an out of door performance was out of the question he wrote the announcements and stuck them up all over the village and bravely spent his last 50 sews to buy some candles which he cut in half so as to double the lights from the window of our room I saw him come and go tramping back and forth in the snow I wondered anxiously what program he could make I was soon enlightened on the subject for along came the town crier of the village wearing a scarlet cap and stopped before the inn after a magnificent roll of his drum he read out our program Vitalis had made the most extravagant promises that there was to present a world renowned artist that was Cappy and a young singer who was a marvel the marvel was myself but the most interesting part of the forest was that there was no fixed price for the entertainment we relied upon the generosity of the audience and the public need not pay until after it had seen heard and applauded that seemed to me extraordinarily bold who was going to applaud us Cappy certainly deserved to be celebrated but I was not at all convinced that I was a marvel although pretty heart was very ill at this moment when he heard the drum he tried to get up from the noise and Cappy's barks he seemed to guess that it was to announce our performance I had to force him back on this bed then he made signs to me to give him his generals uniform the red coat and trousers with gold braid and hat with the plume he clasped his hands and went down on his knees to beg me when he saw that he could get nothing from me by begging he tried what anger would do and then finally melted into tears it was evident that we should have a great deal of trouble to convince him that he must give up all idea of playing that night I thought it would be better not to let him know when we started when Vitalis returned he told me to get my harp ready and all the things we required for the entertainment pretty heart who knew what this meant turned to his master and commenced his entreaties again he could not have better expressed his desires than by the sounds he uttered the twisting of his face and the turns of his body there were real tears on his cheeks and there were real kisses that he imprinted on Vitalis' hand you want to play? asked Vitalis who had not been told what happened before yes oh yes pretty heart's whole person seemed to cry out he tried to jump to show that he was no longer sick we knew very well that if we took him out it would be his death it was time for us to start before going I made up a good fire and wrapped pretty heart in his coverlets he cried again and embraced me as much as he could then we started as we tramped through the snow my master told me what he expected of me we could not of course give our usual repertoire as our principal actors were missing but Cappy and I could vie with each other and doing our best we had to collect forty frocks forty frocks it was terrible impossible Vitalis had prepared everything all we had to do now was to light the candles but this was an extravagance we could not indulge in until the room was filled for our illuminations would not have to come to an end before our entertainment whilst we took possession of our theater the town crier with his drum came through the village streets for the last time after I addressed Cappy and myself I went outside and stood behind a pillar to watch the people arrive the role of the drum became louder it was approaching the marketplace and I could hear a babble of voices behind the drum came a score of youngsters all keeping step without stopping the beating of his drum the town crier took up his place between the two large lands that were lit at the entrance of our theater the public had only to walk in and take their seats for the performance to commence alas how long they were coming yet the drum of the door continued gaily it's rat-tat-tat-tat all the boys in the village must have been there but it was not the youngsters who were likely to give us forty frocks there would have to be some important people open-handed and generous at last Vitalis decided that we ought to commence although the hall was far from being full but we could not wait longer worried as we were by the terrible question of candles I had to appear first and sing a few songs accompanying myself on the harp I must confess the applause I received was very weak I had never thought very much of myself as an entertainer but the marked coolness with which the audience received my efforts discouraged me if I did not please them they would certainly not give us anything it was not for the glory that I was singing it was for poor pretty heart how I wanted to stir this public to make them enthusiastic but I could see only too well that they did not consider me a marvel Cappy was more successful he received several encores thanks to Cappy the entertainment ended in a burst of applause not only did they clap their hands but they stamped their feet the decisive moment had arrived while Cappy with the cup and his jaws ran through the audience I danced a Spanish dance on the stage with Vitalis playing in accompaniment would Cappy collect forty frocks? that was the question which made my heart beat while I smiled at the public in my pleasantest manner I was out of breath but I still continued to dance for I was not to stop until Cappy had returned he did not hurry himself when he found that he did not receive a coin he placed his paw against the person's pocket at last I saw him about to return and thought I might stop but Vitalis made the sign to go on I continued to dance and going a few steps nearer to Cappy I saw that the cup was not full far from it but Vitalis had also seen this bowing to the audience he said ladies and gentlemen I think that without flattering ourselves we have conscientiously carried out our program yet as our candles are still burning I will if the public wishes sing some songs myself our dog Cappy will make another quest and those who have not yet given will perhaps give this time please have your money ready although Vitalis had been my teacher I had never really heard him sing or at least not as he sung that evening he selected two songs an air from Joseph and one from Richard the Lionhearted although I was only a little boy and was no judge as to whether one sang with technique or without Vitalis's singing stirred me strangely I went into a corner of the stage for my eyes filled with tears as I listened to his beautiful notes through a mist I saw a young lady who occupied the first row clapped her hands with all her might I had already noticed that she was not a peasant like the rest of the people in the hall she was a lady young and beautiful and from her handsome fur coat I took her to be the richest woman in the village she had with her a little child who had applauded Cappy heartily it was probably her son for the likeness was striking after the first song Cappy went round again I saw with surprise that the lady had not put anything into his cup when my master had finished the air from the second opera she beckoned me to her I want to speak to that gentleman she said I was surprised I thought that she would have done better to have dropped something into the cup Cappy returned he had collected very little more on the second round what does the lady want, asked Vitalis to speak to you I have nothing to say she did not give anything to Cappy perhaps she would like to give it now then it is for Cappy to go to her not for me however he decided to go and took the dog with him I followed them by now a servant had appeared carrying a lantern and a rug stood beside the lady and the child Vitalis bowed coldly to her forgive me for having disturbed you she said but I wanted to congratulate you Vitalis bowed without saying a word I am a musician continued the lady I am telling you this so that you will know how much I appreciate your superb talent superb talent my master the dog trainer amazed an old man like me has no talent he replied coldly do not think I am inquisitive but began the lady I am quite willing to satisfy your curiosity madam he said you were surprised that a dog trainer is able to sing a little but I have not always been what I am now when I was younger I was the servant of a great singer and like a parrot I imitated him I began to repeat some of the songs he practiced in my presence that is all the lady did not reply she looked hard at Vitalis he seemed embarrassed goodbye sir she said at last laying stress on the word sir goodbye and once more let me thank you for the exquisite delight you have given me this evening and leaning towards Katby she dropped a gold piece in his cup I thought Vitalis would escort her to the door but he did nothing of the kind and when she was out of hearing I heard him swear softly in Italian she gave Katby a Louis I said I thought he was going to give me a blow but he let his raised hand fall to his side a Louis he said as though he were coming out of a dream ah yes poor pretty heart I had forgotten him let us go back to the little creature at once I climbed the stairs of the inn and went to the room the fire was not out but there were no flames I lit a candle quickly I was surprised not to hear any sound from pretty heart I found him lying under his coverlets stretched at full length dressed in his general's uniform he appeared to be asleep I leaned over him and took his hand gently to wake him up his hand was cold Vitalis came into the room I turned to him pretty heart is cold I said my master came to my side and also leaned over the bed he is dead he said it was to be ah Remy boy I did wrong to take you away from Mrs. Milgan I him punished Serbino, Dulcy and now pretty heart and this is not the end End of Chapter 14 Chapter 15 of Nobody's Boy This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Nobody's Boy, Hector Malau Translated by Florence Crue-Jones Chapter 15 Faithful Friends We were still a long way from Paris we had to go by roads covered with snow and walk from morning till night the north wind blowing in our faces how sad and weary were those long tramps Vitalis walked ahead I at his heels and Cappy behind me Thus in line we went onward without exchanging a word for hours and hours faces blue with cold feet wet stomachs empty the people who passed us on the way turned round to gaze at us evidently they thought it strange where was this old man leading his child and the dog the silence seemed terrible to me and so sad I would like to have talk just for company but when I did venture to make a remark Vitalis replied briefly without even turning his head fortunately Cappy was more sociable and as I trudged along I often felt his warm tongue on my hand he licked me as much as to say your friend Cappy is here with you then I stroked him gently without stopping we understood each other we loved each other on the slippery snow we went straight ahead without stopping sleeping at night in a stable or in a sheepfold with a piece of bread alas very small for our meal in the evening this was our dinner and supper in one we did not tell the shepherds that we were dying of hunger but Vitalis with his usual cleverness would say insinuatingly that the little chap was very fond of sheep's milk because when he was a baby he used to drink it the story did not always take effect but it was a good night for me when it did yes I was very fond of sheep's milk and when they gave me some I felt much stronger the next day it seems strange to me that as we neared Paris the country ceased to be beautiful the snow was not white and dazzling now I had heard what a wonderful place Paris was and I expected something extraordinary I did not know exactly what I should not have been surprised to see trees of gold streets of marble palaces everywhere what were we poor things going to do when we reached Paris I wanted to question Vitalis but I did not dare he seemed so gloomy when we were inside of the roofs and the church towers of the capital he slackened his step to walk beside me Remy he said suddenly we are going to part when we get to Paris I looked at him he looked at me the sudden pallor of my face and the trembling of my lips told him what effect his words had on me for a moment I could not speak going to part I murmured at last poor little chap yes we must part the tone in which he said this brought the tears to my eyes it was so long since I had heard a kind word oh you are so good I cried it is you who are good you brave little heart there comes a time in one's life when one feels these things when all goes well one goes along through life without thinking much who is with one but when things go wrong when one is on the wrong track and above all when one is old one wants to lean on somebody you may be surprised that I have wanted to lean on you and yet it is so but only to see that your eyes are moist as you listen to me comforts me little Remy I am very unhappy I did not know what to say I just stroked his hand and the misfortune is that we have to part just at the time when we are getting nearer to each other but you're not going to leave me all alone in Paris I asked timidly no certainly not what would you do in the big city all by yourself poor child I have no right to leave you remember that the day when I would not let that good lady take you and bring you up as her son that day I bound myself to do the best I could for you I can do nothing at this moment and that is why I think it is best to part it is only for a time we can do better if we separate during the last months of the bad season what can we do in Paris with all gone but happy hearing his name mentioned dear Cappy came beside us he put his paw to his ear in military salute then placed it on his heart as though to tell us that we could count on his devotion my master stopped to pass his hand affectionately over the dog's head yes Cappy you're a good faithful friend but alas without the others we can't do much now but my harp if I had two children like you it would be better but an old man with just one little boy is bad business I am not old enough now if I were only blind or broken down I am not in a pitiful state enough for people to stop and notice us so my boy I have decided to give you to a padron until the end of the winter he will take you with other children that he has and you will play your harp and you I asked I am known in Paris I have stayed there several times I will give violin lessons to the Italian children who play on the streets I have only to say that I will give lessons to find all the pupils I want and in the meantime I will train two dogs that will replace poor Zarbino and Dolce then in the spring we will be together again my little Remy we are only passing through a bad time now later I will take you through Germany and England then you will grow big and your mind will develop I will teach you a lot of things and make a man of you I promised this to Mrs. Milligan I will keep my promise that is the reason why I have already commenced to teach you English you can speak French and Italian that is something for a child of your age perhaps it was all for the best as my master said but I could only think of two things we were to be parted and I was to have a padron during our wanderings I had met several padrons who used to beat the children who worked for them they were very cruel and they swore and usually they were drunk would I belong to one of those terrible men and then even if fate gave me a kind master it was another change first my foster mother then Vitalis then another was it to be always so should I never find anyone that I could love and stay with always little by little I have grown attached to Vitalis he seemed almost what I thought a father would be should I never have a father have a family always alone in this great world nobody's boy Vitalis had asked me to be brave I did not wish to add to his sorrows but it was hard so hard to leave him as we walked down a dirty street with heaps of snow on either side covered with cinders and rotten vegetables I asked where are we in Paris my boy where were my marble houses and the trees of gold and the finely dressed people was this Paris was I to spend the winter in a place like this parted from Vitalis and Cappy end of chapter 15