 Good afternoon everyone and it's always a pleasure connecting with Dr. Hari Shetty and Justice Roshan Dalvi, a former judge of Bombay High Court. Both have come on our platform and they've always shared our knowledge which is always well received and when we talk about as in when especially when the pandemic etc come across we talk of mental strength and mental health also. So that mental health would always be a peri-materia for the purposes of all aspects and it has its wide spectrum of aspects to be covered and I request Justice Roshan Dalvi to just give an introduction because we will be carrying this session not this session this into two parts today is on the mental health approach the sort skills and the next part would be sort skills and a legal perspective. Justice Roshan Dalvi and Dr. Hari Shetty as such do not require any introduction because they have created their niche worldwide because of the way they share their knowledge. Over to you Justice Roshan Dalvi. Good evening friends and good evening Dr. Shetty. It's nice to do something co-curricular all along I've been going into the curriculum of lawyers and judges. So it's very good today that we are going to do something and hear someone which relates to us but from outside so it's an outsider's perspective we are going to have. Now always we talk about IQ that is the intelligence quotient and lawyers and judges have a very high IQ but what about EQ we also have KQ the knowledge quotient but we may be low on EQ and as someone has said winners are ordinary people with extraordinary heart and Dr. Shetty shows us how to show that. I would say in one word you can smile smile all the way it is the longest word in the English language smiles because there is a mile in between the two s's but Dr. Shetty would tell us how we can really do our crisis management when we have stress how we can take care of our health how we can put our family into our business lives improve our confidence and accordingly our self esteem and all that makes up the emotional energy quotient. He would call it the emotional energy bank so we are going to have to deposit a lot of his knowledge into our bank account. So Dr. Shetty there's no point my going on talking about things I don't know with rather you're from you because you know all you have to unmute yourself Dr. I would like to have the screen sharing also I thank you a lot for introducing me and introducing the subject so beautifully honorable justice Roshan ji and we are very grateful to madam for getting this topic on this platform and she had a long chat with me the other day and said you should do soft skills and I will do legal skills later and thank you for this opportunity and I'm so grateful to you. Let me say that all you guys here are basically very wise with a lot of wisdom across time and a lot of experience through a million interactions you've had inside the court premises inside different professional premises and also inside your family etc. Before I start I pay obeisance to two great people Rishi Patanjali and Rishi Gautam Buddha why you ask me why well for the world they are philosophers but for us people in science they are scientists Patanjali gave us yoga and Gautam Buddha gave us Vipassana and both extremely important mindful people reach to the top unmindful people sit and complain in the drawing rooms in the 40s that there's all politics involved and they become so cynical and they become blamers that their growth is halted those who are mindful as ma'am said beautifully they rise with the big hearts and a bountiful of knowledge. My dear friends the RNA virus also has reminded you and me and all of us that equanimity is alignment of self with the cosmos you might call it god cosmos whatever and Samanta as Lord Buddha said emotional regulation as psychologists and psychiatrists always would say is the key for us to share whatever we have to apologize as and we can to learn from brothers and sisters and and and fellow colleagues and also keep our antennas open so that we do not miss any insight from the cosmos and equanimity is the most important tool which we need to develop across time so alignment of mind and body is mental health alignment of the self cosmos is equanimity so ultimately man is a bundle of thoughts feelings sensations and behavior and let me tell you dear friends though in in in 2019 December the minister of health said in India one out of seven Indians are mentally 20 crore Indians are mentally 200 million but why rain has not changed the size shape color weight volume texture function but environment has changed and that's why things are getting worse and the first rule for all lawyers doctors professionals are let us not lock our mind today when we lose the case today when the opposite lawyer seeks for adjournment and lose our we lose our patience and we explode let that explosion not be inside if you share you will not explode but if you hold it back you're going to explode on somebody else or you will or we will explode at places where we should not so remember this mantra if people here are interested in tattooing let them tattoo the sentence lock mines or time bombs diffuse it early lest it explodes inside us at two minutes about the pandemic because pandemics are the great impact on us and let me tell us tell you the six differences between any disaster and a pandemic well when i worked at latur after the after the cyclone mumbai after the floods and gizrat after the rides we were all told and this time this disaster this pandemic is all about science it's about m RNA virus RNA virus and which is why people of science told us that mosques temples and churches need to be closed that's one difference not fatalism but science the second most important difference is in an earthquake the impact phase is just a few seconds in in in in other places for example a flood or a cyclone you may have a long impact phase continuously for a few days to a few weeks but in the covid we had an impact phase of more than 24 months 22 24 months huge numbers have died lot to 8000 plus people have died and cyclone 3000 plus people have died in in in the in the riots in Delhi again a few few thousand but here it's it's more than four lakhs in india the next important difference is the isolation we could not really take care of a loud ones we could not escort them to the loose we could not feed them we could not be with them invisibility of the virus the virus is invisible this is an enemy which is invisible and covid terrorists are those who sold everything in black and made a big buck so there's the three six important differences the last slide on on on covid is most of the time when somebody dies in a building you see empathy all around when somebody dies in a family you see empathy all around but when too many people died there is empathy because the mind shuts down the fear is so much that you're not able to empathize with people around the fear really causes numbness and it is seen across disasters when there has been a pandemic if you read the book by Chinmai Tumbe of the last pandemic you'll see that during the last pandemic in the country after the death people were auctioning their things and there was no place for empathy no space for any compassion to the family there was no times apathy is also a part of this entire process apart from empathy in a pandemic you see apathy and that can change us and that can really really really changes and we have to be very alert antipathy also my father i will not allow him to go to the hospital to see a sister who is recovered from the pandemic but now is still unconscious because i'm worried about my father because if something happens to him i will be upset a brother will fire his sister who's recovering in a jumbo because he believes that she got the covid with which parents passed away because she had gone to work so covid has divided families covid also has divided communities and this is something very important and so in the covid pandemic apathy empathy and antipathy existed together so what are the metaphorical learnings from the virus just as virus mutates for the best worst human behavior has to mutate for the best in fact a lot of doctors have become more compassionate a lot of senior doctors who are very stoic and who would not say hello to their patients in the lift have started being very humble and very caring because one little virus has taught them and taught all of us that we are temporary travelers on the earth and a lot of senior advocates i'm told also say hello to the juniors not only in the bar but even on the street a lot of advocates who really belong to big companies are able to smile a little more during covid and that is what i hear i do not know but i'm sure that human beings are mutating for the best knowing fully well that in this short journey compassion humility and wisdom has to go together and as i say this let's look at what makes a human being mentally able to regulate his feelings experience samanta as Bhagawan Buddha said in Pali hear the different word experience equanimity as we speak in english and do all the mindful exercises across the globe in every college is patented but Buddha gave vipassana free of cost across the entire world Patanjali gave his yoga free of cost to the entire world for the first step is awareness of feelings if you have to if you have to break your complexes if you have to feel equal in spite of the hierarchy if you have to feel equal as human beings in spite of what you have earned laurels or money awareness of feelings is the most important and if you are able to manage anger you're able to manage everything anger is the artifact of the 21st century whether it's an aeroplane where people rush to the cockpit because the plane did not really land at the right time and the pilot was very scared because the center of gravity of the plane is disturbed or as we rush to any office and shout and scream because because globalization has increased the disconnection decrease the connection and even people when they die we only know on the on the notice board number of people attending funerals have gone down anger on the streets is very well known people kill each other when there's something happening between two vehicles so anger personally is a normal emotion absolutely normal aggression is an abnormal state humiliation is an abnormal state irritability is anger in motion and then people come and say I can't hold my anger I said it couldn't be your trait it could be your imitating because in him Indian families they say really this match your images is reinforced by by mothers and for but anger is normal my dear friends but there are some people who say let me tell you that medical bills are very high because they they are not aware of what is happening inside and and feelings undergo chemical reactions if you're not aware of your anger it becomes resentment resentment I can't stand him I can't stand I saw him in court number 43 in the high court and I really can't stand it I don't know I I don't know I have no reason but I really can't stand him behind a behavior is a story and behind a story there are many stories awareness of anger should it should not get converted into resentment if you block your resentment it gets converted into hostility I will do whatever but I'll get this guy bailed I'll do whatever but I'll get this guy bailed whatever is a very loaded word hostility can get converted into rage so anger can follow anger resentment hostility hate and rage and when when we say that and when we actually say that awareness of all feelings are important let me tell you first is the awareness of feelings identify the feeling acknowledge the feeling accept the feeling experience the feeling and largely exhaust the feeling I was very angry at my wife but I did not hold it for a long time Indian husbands have a very beautiful method they don't talk to their wife for a long time she should understand how do you feel the virus has taught us finish it on that day yeah I'm angry at you why because in front of everybody I'm a big lawyer but in front of everybody you said something which I really really was hurt and when you share your feelings with your loved ones don't convert it into adjectives I felt sad that you are angry and you express things which I did not like you can't say I don't like you as a wife you're a useless wife adjectives adjectives disconnect feelings connect I'm so angry with you my son with all the facilities I give you you're really not done well I'm so angry with you anger sharing anger is a beautiful beautiful thing I'm so jealous of you my boy we both started our practice at the same time but so beautiful feelings connect adjectives disconnect sarcasm breaks a relationship if you have traveled the third class second class compartment of of of the of Indian railways in a suburban train or any train you'll find people coming back from their offices abusing their bosses they won't go anywhere you feel you find people down in the canteen in the courts talking unsavory things about each other and and even their their senior these guys don't go well well well well black humor occasionally is okay but when I lose a patient to suicide my dear lawyers we sit down and have a death conference we sit down and really look at every possibility where we could have saved the patient we sit down and introspect did we say something different did we change a drug did he stop counseling did he actually stop stop follow up did we phone him up because he or she stopped his follow-up so that we we look at him whether he's okay or not we do a death conference and every time one fails it's it's very therapeutic to blame you feel nice for some time temporarily I work very very closely with the law enforcing agencies people are talking about and this and I would also say that about my senior doctors when I was younger I would say he doesn't look at me doesn't talk to me when I call him he finishes me in three minutes but when somebody else calls him he takes 10 minutes me I also feel they're all proficient but slowly understood slowly understood and I understood more during the pandemic that you have to continue doing your job things happen automatically and the and and and the and the providence conspires at some point of time you can't fail but the point is are we able to manage our anger and that is so important and then this is a beautiful sentence which I came to me one of the days when I was brushing my teeth you know the best sentences the best thoughts come when you brush your teeth or you're walking up and down casual conversations also give you a lot of insight for me a casual conversation with a sitting judge or a retired judge with madame revoshenji also so often lectures you learn but casual chats and you learn so much but then if you do not handle your anger all of us have a hate list when when I say all of us have at least many people object they say it not strong statement don't say hate me I'm I'm I do not like this fellow I do not like that fellow you know what I always tell people that we can never choose our parents and our colleagues and our benches you can't you can only choose your in-laws and even change them if necessary providence brings them next to you they sit there next to you because it's all destiny kind of ever it's all prarabda and what is very important is you may not like your fellow judge you may not like your fellow lawyer you may not like your secretary of your bar association but respect is more important than liking respect means accept him exactly as he is providence has brought him next to me he's arguing on the other side he has a long experience my hands are shaking feeling a long experience my hands are shaking he may have a long experience but I will do my nishka and karma I will put across the facts as I believe and as I like and that gives you the strength when you see 20 advo lawyers with all the entire battery on the court I've seen that I've attended so many hearings and you see alone battling this battle with 20 don't worry at all ultimately what we decide is what you what you do what the work you did previous night and across night and do it with absolute equanimity do it as if you're doing something at your best intense hate anywhere interferes with love everywhere you can't hate your in-laws and love your spouse you can't hate your principal school principal or class teacher expect you to learn the subject doesn't happen you can't really hate your boss in your law firm so intensely and be able to work this passionately no it doesn't happen at all intense hate anywhere interferes with love everywhere and this is a very important point for doctors lawyers and everybody and this you can work on yourself you don't need a psychiatrist or a cyclist really work on this you know my dear friends how does that help my dear friends amygdala body was a small part of the brain the blue blue there which was very useful during the stone age when we were warriors eating berries and fruits and hunting hunting animals and we were prepared with the bows and arrows and spears and that was necessary to save us from death it was fight flight freeze of fright fight freeze fright of light amygdala had come down we learned to converse we started using our prefrontal cortex move fat logon go we shadi mini bull attire move fat logon go quick party mini bull attire and i see so many learned lawyers brilliant but they can't hold their anger they break relationships they break friendships because they're not able to tame their amygdala it right they're not aware of their prefrontal cortex and they get emotionally hijacked and a person listens to all the salt cannot forgive this person though he has been good for 15 years and so many wise people are rotting in their drawing rooms because they have become move fat cynical and wanting to win an argument but not wanting to win the battle of life so be careful and if you read about emotional hijacking my dear friends read about it yoga vipassana sudarshan kriya shambhavi mahambudra tasbhi rosary and ability to regulate your feelings will shift you to the prefrontal cortex and it will not utter things which will really cause a lot of damage to you and to everybody around indians are good at jugal bandi americans are good at the orchestra they can get work done from different people and they can organize the team and executive that's why they're there they're none they're nasa satelettes land on the mass because they can manage a team they do not bother what language you have you have these expertise and they can build the orchestra indians were good at jugal bandi but slowly we are getting good at the orchestra also so prefrontal cortex remember one thing please read about emotional hijacking and do whatever you like to attain equanimity and that is so important sadness is a positive emotion depression is the negative state the day when we lose our patient we are very sad the worst day for a psychiatrist and a psychologist when their own clients own patients commit suicide we are very scared we go home we share with our family that we lost the patient we feel the sadness we don't block the sadness i still remember a hard doctor not being able to sad share bad news doctors many many doctors not all but large number of good doctors are able to share bad news but sharing bad news is very difficult when you when you when you succeed in a case the the doctor is in front of the patient but when the patient dies most of the times it's left to the assistant and and i still remember this entire episode of abdul kalam when the rocket fell into the sea abdul kalam's senior i forget his name took the press conference and the next rocket when it really went the way it was expected to his senior said abdul kalam you should take the press conference well accept that you have failed or you have lost and don't block your emotions i understand the legal i learned one thing from the legal profession even after you lose you sit down in the in the in your room and have tea together fantastic i mean that's one of the most beautiful things i have learned from the legal profession but sometimes you go home you don't know what to do and at that time you need a safe space and a safe net and express sadness as it is but sadness is a very important emotion apart from yoga vipassana empathy comes also from sadness sadness is the flower pot empathy is the growing plant and that is so so important very common very common emotion well this this this is not the right picture for the for this for this emotion the right picture would be two professionals two two doctors with with two two two hospitals staring at each other very common when when very very common i still remember when i really lost an interview as a consultant in the hospital and i wrote the application for my friend he was not interested in appearing for this entire interview i wrote his application i forced him to come for the interview and he got the job sometimes it's not in our hands you might you might try your best there are there are there are two apples and three applicants there's one case and and two lawyers there's there's there's the two hospitals one small one big you can't at the end of the day you know that you'll win few and use and i'm sure that a lot of senior advocates here who have experienced for a lot of i mean for long long innings exactly know how to how to really manage envy and jealousy i saw some names whom i know and and they exactly know how to really and and a lot of a lot of bar association meetings should focus on on how you feel during during during different times so self-esteem self-reliance and seeking help are are actually related and the most important learning i have learned is if you have to manage your complexes antennas the fula rena chaye in schools you don't learn all this schools we say he's a bad teacher he's a good teacher i don't like this teacher and you close your antenna completely and i tell all school students and teachers also when i take workshops i told them anybody on this earth can really teach you so many things if your antennas are open i want my maximum mental health from my patients illiterate patients teach you the most because there's no there's no sensor they process emotions without cognitive self but when they're feeling as well as with the brain once a patient said dr. shetty but i your pahalwani ka umar hota nikal gayi to gayi and once the mother said the doctor saab hu pyaar kya hai jise pada hi ka tya karna pade mere beti ko samja ho so so keeping your antennas open and alert which means accepting people exactly as they are you have to mind gold from every conversation to break your complexes ultimately the corona virus has taught us that we are just a small speck in this entire cosmos and honorable justice raghuram says it beautifully in the national judicial academy he shows a he shows a video for that that that earth also is a very small speck in the entire universe of our universe and when you think about that you're able to respect people around as i said respect is more important than love i repeat that sentence we can choose our parents and we can we cannot we can never choose our parents nor our neighbors or or even our our colleagues or the bench mind gold from every conversation reflect in your mind and always after after i write an article i next day i feel i should have written this i should have written that and that is what i learned after a lecture always i don't know this point reflection automatically i learn from everybody around me my son once said dr dr daddy you don't crack so many jokes and they will they will miss the substance and they will remember the jokes and he was only 12 simplest minds are the most profound your children who are very small they're simple but the simplest minds are the most profound they can come up with something beautiful kill shame and seek help when people kill shame and seek help there are less suicides when you kill shame and seek help you learn a lot when you kill shame and seek help in our profession there's something known as the second opinion but we have converted into a shared opinion a 60 year old psychiatrist or 50 year old psychiatrist can throw a case to a 28 year old young psychiatrist who can review the case again and come up with something which you've never thought which you can never thought so so important to kill shame and so this complexities which which which are very important can grow because of so many other reasons number one also if you have very bad stories of childhood you have been criticized completely might be a great perspective based professional but when you come on the stage you forget everything excessive criticism has has numbed your your your state of mind but has not killed the wisdom and perspective learning resilience and fragility can go hand in hand you might be extremely resilient in the morning extremely fragile in the evening you can be extremely extremely resilient in a in a courtroom but very fragile when you argue with the rickshaw on the road growth is not equal in all areas of life so it's so important to to really kill shame I don't know what I'm doing my wife asked in the morning I want you to I want to see to it that I have too too too cash you should give it to an agency which could need it and I have to think and said yes I will ask somebody and do it I don't know there are so many things I don't know and when you remember that there are so many things I don't know I think the the most important thing is kill shame seek help evolution starts from above and the courtroom is one of the most democratic forums with the judges sitting with the books open and asking the asking the lawyers do you have any any any citations any case reports that does not happen in the medical school and this is one of the most important things I've learned in a courtroom books are open the top judge from the from the city opens and says I I see this dude can you add something on this and that is something which is so beautiful about the legal field my my dear friends everybody says I have no time but people do a lot of things can find time so self-awareness would mean whatever happens your phones are away at least 15 minutes of pranayam at least half another time I walked 7500 feet in the morning inside my house 15 minutes have come what may world can run without us world does not need us all the time and self-awareness is so important and for building breaking those complexes no shortcuts a lot of doctors at age of 50 have an identity crisis some is in the gimmick yeah I said you have served your patient that is so beautiful and those who have taken shortcuts for victories when they close their eyes and sleep it haunts them it haunts them even if they suppress it it haunts them it haunts them let things do not haunt you you might actually lose a battle but the war of life is something you will win and the war of life is much longer than the battle my dear friends when I used to get low marks I would blame the teacher this teacher is is is anti non-marathons in school in the schools we had this and the teacher is a North Indian or a Punjabi she doesn't like me she likes that mr. Mehra and mr. Bora whatever and it's so important to not lose to blame and always think about blooming would mean perspective thinking sitting down and cutting things into pieces and telling ourselves this is what I should have done this is what he did this is what I should have done this is what I did I think I learned I lost but I learned and that is so so important do you want to become a bloomer or a blamer and it really kills your complex we can walk with an open heart clean mind and your walk and your gaze will be will be absolutely powerful your state of being would be very good my dear friends all of us need safe safe spaces where you can talk what we like I have a safe space of my schoolmates we talk twice a week one hour we know each other since you were in short pants we know each other when we used to pee in the same room we know each other when we used to chase the same girls we know each other since the time we were nobody and then nobody gang is more important than the somebody gang then nobody gang is so important than the somebody gang and I learned from Professor Srinivas Murthy and today from Dr. Shashank Joshi that if you feel that this guy is an opponent go and meet him I still remember Professor Murthy took me to a house of a person who probably did not like him the most and I said sir how can you do this I said that's the best way to break walls and he sat down they had a cup of tea and the warmth which happens when you go and and and go across your opponent in his house or her house maybe somebody would say you can't tell the difference between a junior and a boss going across your opponent who you believe is an opponent in your your your perception there is no opponents on the earth it's all all a perception so important mindfulness whatever you like will help you to break your complexes friends are your antennas open I hate this word this man is just he has a strong mind what strong mind some jute you might be strong in in some places you we are not strong at all places when I see a mosquito I get very scared because I might get tingu but when I see a see a patient with great difficulty I'm challenged to do my best I'm very scared I was very scared of the corona virus and to beat that scare I said I will not sit at home but I will go to my clinic every day and hospital and sit with my mask and see see see what I can do so nourishing the mind is so so important now my dear friends don't look on the right side look on the left side black dog was the name which Winston Churchill gave to his depression and the WHO has come up with the four-minute movie that exercise can be depression mild depression and which is researched a world-wide organization would not say something out of that it's so important to do mindful exercising people say no I walk from church again station to the high court that is not exercise because you're not mindful you're thinking about the 1120 hearing which is there exercise is mindful you are in the mood of excess you're thinking about excess you're walking with joy you're exercising with joy and you feel the sweat coming down it's not that your blood sugar has gone down it's not your heart rate has come down it is the dopamine oxytocin not up in a frame which comes to the mind and I start my day with 7500 steps walking inside those I don't want to go to the gym with all this scare of the virus and so exercise also helps you to elevate your mood and speak to people straight and complexes go down when you're actually exercise it dissolves your tears fears and anger standalone sentence I don't want to say anything more word about women well in spite of education Indian women is still the same I want to be a great lawyer I want to be a great judge I want to be the great husband great great great mother great wife and great daughter no yeah enough of all this nonsense my wife says the head of the pomperate is tasty I said no it's not tasty there's nothing in the head and it was supposed to be a delicacy which should be which has to be had to be served head had nothing but we really really gave it such a name by giving it only to the mother's tweet the flesh of the pomperate is for the boy the tail is for the boy the middle piece is for the boy come on now it's enough for all this nonsense enough enough of this nonsense and do you want to be a martyr or a manager and let me tell you my dear friends imperfect home is a happy home imperfect kitchen is a happy house imperfect mother is a happy wife an imperfect wife is a happy marriage so do not strive for perfection inside the house all the time gives you good health breaks complexities strive for consistency and not perfection in your home perfection has to be in your work and that is so so important so my dear friends let me slowly stop if you do not take care of your mind either you have a grandiose sense of yourself either you feel you're the best on the earth till you're grounded by somebody very young and very small in the courtroom happens so many times and that happens because there's a cortisol rain in the brain and the hypothalamus pituitary adenine axis goes heavier and the hypothalamus releases all the chemicals but the adrenal glands doesn't function properly and there's a cort steroid drain in the brain that can be brought down by mindfulness and exercise my dear friends what we what we see now is a lot of sleep issues and new research has said good sleep will give you immunity and we need to focus on the sleep problems in concentration anxiety irritability grief and bad memories most of it can be managed by yoga mindfulness any form of mindfulness exercise and and and and focusing on good sleep if not then you need to take help and need to take the help of a physician and a mental health professional as I close my dear friends building does not stand on one pillar so stop saying I am the head of the family no yeah you will be head of family because you you control the the purse strings of the family a building always stands on many pillars a family stands on many pillars there's a small pillar there's a medium pillar there's a bigger pillar and a bigger pillar big pillar small pillar all the all are necessary in there all can help each other but this big pillar says I cannot show my vulnerability because they will feel weak two people from my family in the covid era my mother's sister and my brother and I had to take my mother's sister's body and cremate with my nephew nobody because everybody else was positive I was not and I still remember both of us crying like little children he consoling me me consoling him so there is no one single pillar there's no strong mind strong mind has opened doors so it's so important my dear friends remind yourself that you're human being you need not be stoic and reticent you need to be human and that makes you great human being that kills all complexities do not do anything and I still remember that when me and my nephew cremated my aunt when we wept on each other's shoulder the power of consoling is not only there in the head of the family but it's also there in every member of the family and we mean covid times when I run a support group for those who have lost people in covid first lesson at it is tears are not abnormal crying is healthy family that cries together heals together and in UP one of my patients at this UP patient I still remember his name he was he was Mr. Yadav but his first time I forgot he said the doctor sir you know 20 years ago don't block your tears my dear friends you may be the greatest people in your field and greatness is perception it's illusion it's Maya ultimately when we are born we are horizontal in a bed of six feet by three in the hospital and we die we are horizontal approximately six feet by three feet as we die so so be human and when everything fails remember if you are depressed Amitabh said sessions or or or or medication depression is very invisible extremely invisible and let's care depression also very cunning it can come in many disguises seek help in spite of doing everything this can go here and remember when you are not able to do things as at the speed which you did earlier concentration has gone down your sleep and appetite is disturbed you feel lazy or you feel very irritable and you feel worthless hopeless and you feel that one of these things and you need to seek help exhaustion is also a sign of of depression ultimately my my my dear friends the most powerful emotion on this earth is love if you want to feel equal to others remember on the most difficult day bring back a memory which is very stirring I always bring back my memory of my father and mother holding me my hand when when I went to school what a beautiful memory mother feeding me at the chapel at my same day was at school really partly and and I still can feel a finger my mother's alive 85 year old and and and and so there's nobody in this on the screen who has not experienced love huh you might have difficult experience but dark about the subject bring back all those little memories in your fantasy and live as if it's happening now and with this I just say let's continue doing a nishkama karma and you're award to chaltar etaya so award no award chaltar etaya but but when you sleep at night you feel that you have done your duty to the best of your ability and that gives you peace energy and equanimity that also gives you that you can look into the eye of anybody and say what you believe say what you feel say what you've learned because ultimately to the earth is round actually it is flat you all stand for 40 60 70 80 90 and if you're unlucky 100 years then slowly you become horizontal at some point of time with this I stop I thank madame roshan delvi who has been who I've been associated with for so long and I've attended her sessions in the past I've learned so much from her across time and I'll continue doing that as long as I breathe because who's this unfatigable there is no fatigue in this man there is no tiredness in this man day in and day out he comes up with some programs all the time my apologies for not being able to join on time something the iMac did something which I don't know I've done and now I took up a France ordinary PC and it opened everything open it is a thank you for inviting me I'm open to questions yeah I can just say that it was a spellbound session a lot of lessons to be learned across regarding the pillars pillars as they say that pillars to success are many and the way you have taken taken us across to the different pillars the value of family as we often say that family would be father and mother I love you the true significance of family you have actually explained to us and the depression can how what could be the results of the depression and why you shouldn't feel shy of crying when things are of the emotion should be there and out here it's not there meanwhile I can just check it out on the youtube meanwhile just roshan that we would share his views of this I am speechless so on the topic that I can only learn and not teach I don't think I can say much except that we lawyers now have different lines of profession and different new startups and a whole new way of thinking so as they say that change amid chaos and chaos amid change you should bring change amid chaos that go with may have created and one nice line that I said is what people said which is the best body part the most used body part in go with and this at hands because that is what we wash all the time someone said no it is the brain which has been washed and what have we learned from go with that we have to share that we can't even keep vaccinations only for ourselves forget everything ends even by giving vaccinations to others we would have averted the last disaster which we feel to do so I think so many of this soft skills of good living that we learned we can invite and thank you Dr. Shetty for it and thank you because for giving us this kind of platforms you know timing and time out as Dr. Shetty said again and again you are indefatigable and you continue I think for about the 200th time right so this is really a info bank that you are creating that's only because of the thank you Dr. Shetty said that we are all pillars one can be a large pillar one can be a nail one can be help to see the relationship that's where I'm out everybody has to play a role Dr. Shetty one question what is the difference between sadness and depression yes well sadness is like the raga of hindustani classical it comes and goes without reason I still remember this incident at dadar station a woman was crying when she was standing and I we were a group of young mental professionals still learning and asked the lady just jake you're already and she just casually went and she said simply simply so sadness can come and go you're still retain your occupational functioning you still still manage anything and it's a feeling of love which can come without reason with reason and still you're able to organize yourself and function effectively depression is fracture of the mind sadness is sprain of the mind it goes away and depression is when in spite of everything you are slowed down if you lazy cannot get up from your chair you feel salam monday a quote bando na chayek haptata quote bando na chayek or if you're extremely irritable psychomotor retardation psych and body retardation psychomotor excitation irritability all those lot of irritable people at home who are blamed because they're irritable most of them have depression which can be treated the third symptom is you're anxious about the future's anxiety tiredness and exhaustion without all reports of normal tiredness and exhaustion without reason blaming yourself for things which have not done one poor concentration i would read one page of the times of india in in in half an hour now i can't read one page even in four hours my i can't go beyond four lines poor concentration sadness crying spells but crying should not be the only only criteria it is said a person who cries may not always be depressed and a person who's depressed may not always choose to cry so that is how it is also hopelessness worklessness death wish yeah vivaan uthalaya intent to die weight loss unexplained weight loss with all reports normal depression in covid post-covid depression is very common extremely common and when you ask people about death and dying earlier we were taught as young students of that we should ask from very free to send that was under the realm of elicitation now it's under the realm of inquiry we ask we don't we don't inculcate the thought of dying you are able to elicit people who are very depressed and help them so sadness is is is probably a normal emotion a positive emotion which is necessary if you do not have emotional reactivity to events around then that that means there is something wrong depression is fracture of the mind to the land or science dharavi appears the same nothing nothing really helps you even a small task appears very cumbersome you are you have intolerability to noise even if you are one symptom you should screen yourself for depression all medical checkups should have a psychologist who can screen the person for minor mental disorders or major mental disorders thank you vikas for the beautiful question okay it was a question here posted on the youtube and i find that you are what you're full of knowledge one can only learn from you and more and more sessions like people from you who can take actually things forward in the right way and once it is coupled with a partner like just justice roshan dalvi and you would be looking forward the second part with justice roshan dalvi on the short skills on the legal perspective where we have requested just dr hari shethi to give the introduction and we all know that the way he takes things and explains that itself would be a skill i am not saying in what we talk of short skills the skill to keep people enamored keep the people glued people to hear that's also a skill which one can only learn with a flux of time and that's what when we have the speakers like roshan dr hari shethi and justice roshan dalvi that one can always hear and listen with all and with that we part for the day and once we start the next year we start on a session with mr sundar mohan on first do join us on at five p.m everyone stay safe stay blessed and meanwhile happy new year in advance thank you everybody good day have a nice year thank you ma'am thank you for your thank you for the opportunity and for your support and your blessings ma'am thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you