 My name is Dr. Sumerian. Today, I'm gonna tell you how Dr. Kondraki came back from the dead and then got his penis stuck in a water bottle. Let's get started. So, first of all, a little refresher for anyone who doesn't know who Kondraki is. Way back on the site's toddler years, there were a bunch of staff and writers who went by various doctoring names. You have Bright, Clef, Gears, Kondraki, and a whole bunch of others. Each of them had their own quirks as characters, and Kondraki's thing was that he was kind of a badass. Like the biggest badass in the entire foundation. And if you need proof of that, you can check out a tale called Duke Till Dawn, in which Kondraki hatches a scheme to ride SCP-682. And then he did it, and he didn't die from it. A little bit of site history here. There were some problems brewing behind the scenes. I'm not gonna go into details because it's not important to this video, and I'm probably gonna do a history series later so you can learn about it there, or you can look around on the site yourself. Anyway, the point is, is that he was gone, and the character kind of had a history of doing things that were quite dangerous to people in general, so the foundation decided to get rid of him. Dr. Gears did the honors, and that was that. Okay, so there is no canon, but it would be fair to say that a lot of the site's writers, if not most of the site's writers, consider Kondraki's death to be canon in their own versions of the foundation. So that's just something to keep in mind. If you didn't like the fact that Kondraki was dead, you could write a story where he's still alive. And that's sort of what happened here. It all started as many strange things do with a Tumblr post. A writer on the site called the Friendly Vandal was perusing when she came across the story about a guy getting his penis stuck in a water bottle. And it made her chuckle. I guess there's no accounting for taste. Regardless, it inspired her to write a story, and that's always good. And in that story, called Second Date, Dr. Clef and Dr. Kondraki are more than just friends, and Dr. Kondraki is in a bathroom with his penis stuck in a water bottle. It's silly, it's simple, and it's well written, so it got a little popular. And then the problem started. See, someone on Tumblr read the tale and got very, very angry that the tale hinted at Kondraki and Clef having a homosexual relationship. They railed on about it in multiple posts over a month, and in doing so said some really shitty things. And then they made one more mistake. They sent hate Dr. Clef's way, and kind of expected him to agree with their version of what is and isn't right for the wiki. Clef instead took the opportunity to write a tale that continued from where the last one left off. And at that point, well, we were off to the races. Within a day, three other authors had written their own tales involving Clef and Kondraki's water bottle fiasco. And that's sort of where things get even more hilarious, because the dude who had gotten pissed off earlier had been angry that was wrecking Sight Cannon in his mind. But five articles by at least three different authors qualifies a series as a cannon. And of course, the friendly vandal turned the knife one more time and made a hub for it. It is now officially one of like two dozen Sight Cannons. It was at that point that I became vaguely aware of the situation myself. I saw the hub, I saw the requirements, and before even reading any of the tales, I wrote my own tale in less than 30 minutes. And only like 90, I think 90-ish minutes after the hub was posted. And over the next three days, three more tales went up by three more authors. So now we've got, I think, nine tales by nine different authors. All about Dr. Kondraki getting his penis stuck in a water bottle. But before you go ask him, I'm not going to link any posts from this guy. I don't want to give him any more attention than he's already gotten. I know the video is going to give him some attention, but I think the story is worth a video. And that, dear viewer, is how Dr. Kondraki came back to life and got his penis stuck in a water bottle. Please subscribe, share the video with your friends, and thank you very much for watching.