 Once in a while we as movie critics get it wrong. We're not perfect, we're just regular everyday Joe Shmoes who go to see a movie like everyone else. Sometimes we're paid to go to them, not me because I'm not special, but sometimes people are paid to go to them and they give praising reviews. Other times just out of the goodness of their own heart they'll put down their own cold hard cash to represent something that's maybe not as popular or as mainstream. So when a fellow movie critic recommended I watch cobweb I thought all right I'll check it out on streaming and check it out I did. And now I don't respect that movie critic for the little respect I had for movie critics and I kind of hate him and want him canceled because the movie I watched was so miserably terrible. I can't imagine how anything he says holds any weight to it at all. Let's talk cobweb and yes I'm being very dramatic here. My intro was a trap it was meant to catch you off guard like a spider in a web but I'm not going to keep you dangling there to keep this metaphor going. The critic in question is Cody Leach. A guy I've shared a couple conversations with he's been on my channel. We talk privately sometimes on the artist formerly known as Twitter the worst rebranding name ever X just just terrible but whatever we'll move past it at this point. Cody said Adam you should check out cobweb. If you're sick of all the mainstream stuff cobweb offers something new brings something new to the table. So it hit Hulu I believe that's the streaming service it's one of the few reliable ones that doesn't shut off after 20 or so minutes of streaming that must have been it because I could actually finish the movie. Please make sure to subscribe because the next video I talk about is going to be a complete bitchfest about peacock and what a total pile of crap that application is. Let's continue with cobweb. Cobweb's rated R it is an hour and 28 minutes long which is music to my ears just beautiful. I like a quick short horror film doesn't overstay it's welcome offers something new and to be fair to Cody and by the way I Cody Cody's great I still like the guy I'm just joking with all the cancel stuff. Everybody everybody has their hot takes or their opinions that don't jive with yours that's fine we move past it it's not a big deal he tried to do me a favor and showcase something new that's not so mainstream and I appreciate him for that and to be fair this isn't a this wasn't a terrible movie by any stretch of the imagination it's just not one that got me or I didn't get it the right way. Let's talk about the pros first it looks really nice very good visual cinematography's top notch in my opinion good sound design some decent scares without having to resort to constant jump scares there's maybe maybe one or two but they're they're not so disingenuous you know it's not a cat jumping out of a closet it's it's truly a jump scare that means it. I like the lead character I have IMDB because I don't remember his name Woody Norman is the actor he plays Peter he's going to be living with two garbage parents Lizzie Kaplan as Carol and Anthony Star as Mark Lizzie's been around for a long time it's a little bit depressing seeing some of these actors I recall watching as a teenager and they were a teenager and now they're playing parents which of course I'm a parent but still it's a little sad watching the teenage heartthrobs grow up and I just think oh yeah Lizzie's Lizzie's my age or older or younger I don't know either way we're in the same we're in the same league and it's kind of sad Anthony Star he's he's homelander on the boys and I think he's still homelander in cobweb the guy is the same here outside of having brunette hair his facial tics the way he the way he talks his cadence it's all very much homelander still I don't know if the director said hey I want you to just play this guy without the superpowers or if Anthony's just kind of stuck in that kind of character right now probably in between seasons all I know is he didn't come off as a loving father he came off as a total ass but as the movie progresses we find out that's intentional these are not good people they're really delusional they're insane I'm gonna keep this somewhat vague and spoiler-free still since this just did did hit streaming I know a lot of people missed it when it hit theaters but it's not going to take long for you to come to the conclusion that oh yeah Peter's parents kind of suck they're hiding something there's secrets among amongst them what's going on with these two Peter he's just trying to get through the day all he knows is his parents but he's going to attend class this is going to have a lot of cliches that I'm frankly really getting sick of Peter's drawing cryptic things by basically ruining his pencil really pushing down on that paper getting everything nice and black and dark and sketchy with creepy kids looking out windows teacher's gonna be concerned she's gonna take matters into her own hands there's going to be um there's just so many there's the bully there's always the freaking bully at school that's picking on the main protagonist because of course our main kid can't be a Kevin McAllister type he's gotta be chips are down I mean even when Kevin's bullied by his own family he's standing up for himself he's being he's being pretty awesome about it but no Peter's getting his ass kicked at some point he had his chin busted up and it was all red and bloody but then in another scene it's not red and bloody no one ever addresses the fact that he's got these marks on his face they kind of come and go felt like maybe some stuff was taken out of order or edited poorly I'm not sure what happened I was very confused my wife was too she's like Adam what where did his cargo why is no one talking about the bruising on his face and I just I say I don't know maybe it'll make sense later it never makes it never makes sense later cobweb as the name implies has to do with some sort of a spider scenario going down but what does it mean well as this movie unfolds we'll find out it's really going to be a slow burn though for the first hour and it's that last 20 minutes where things are going to go awry where things are really going to let loose from a bloody standpoint or a gore standpoint there is some decent gore later on some decapitation short for decapitation solid amount of blood here and there the the um villain is creepy I guess kind of also a little silly at the same time the reason for this thing's existence is head scratching the parents have very little backstory at all so it's hard to even understand what is going on in this film what character motivations they have why they're even doing this to the poor child it's a puzzle that maybe upon further watching could help you dissect it but I have no interest in going back that said there was enough good here to at least get me to finish watching the film and take me on the journey but when I got to the destination I wasn't left satisfied I was left pretty empty and a little puzzled and a little upset actually a lot upset there's mostly practical effects I think they're they're convincing me if they're not later on it gets loony tunes there's a couple shots of this creature that are terrible I'm talking like full on cartoon animated shots especially of the face and I understand why they barely show it because it's it's just silly it's very silly that's kind of a way I could summarize this film it's silly but not in a good way in a head scratching the odd way there there's a concept here that's not fully formed and so what we're left with is a few different ideas kind of jumbled together into a bit of a potluck stew mess end of the day that's not what I wanted that's not what I wanted from cobweb so cody leech probably should cancel your channel shut it all down hand in your critic card your ron tomato certification it's over it's over and we're gonna bring the mob to you son no cody's great this one just was a miss but I appreciate a recommendation when I get it from a fellow critic and I will always be honest about my opinions not horrible but I can see why some people would think it is not amazing but I could also see why some people would think it's pretty cool just because it is different in a sense it has a lot of cliches to it but there is some new stuff brought to the table at least all right those are my thoughts on cobweb not a fan but I'm not I'm not upset that I watched it I guess at the end of the day let me know if you saw it put a comment below please like the video if you had a good time please subscribe if you're new here would love to have you stick around especially when I have that peacock bash fest coming up I would love for you to hear that everybody should hear that like the video if you want these are also posted to the podcast on spotify apple podcast other 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