 I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. And I'm here to read the funnies to you, happy boys and honeys. Yes, boys and girls, it's Comic Weekly Time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend, the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. Oh, a little miss, honey. How are you today? I'm fine, thank you. How are you? I'm just fine, too. Well, I'm glad you brought that up, because I came today with a special riddle just for you. All right, please. What is it? Why was the time when King Arthur lived called the Dark Ages? Well, it was. Now, why do you think it was called the Dark Ages? Because it was cloudy most of the time? Nope, that's not true. The sun shone then, even as it does now. Better tell me the answer too quick. All right. It was called the Dark Ages because it was always nighttime. Always nighttime? Yes. Didn't the sun ever shine? Yep, the sun always shone. Well, how does it shine? Well, it could be nighttime if there are lots of knights going around wearing armor and carrying swords and spears. Oh, and there's court, and they were there always, so it was always nighttime. How did you guess? I just... Oh, you're so clever. Thank you. And now would you please read me the funny story? Puck the Comic Weekly? Yes. Very well, I'll read that in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Now, here we go with Puck the Comic Weekly, and on the first page, under bringing up father, Beatle Bailey. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Loot me a toot and tweet me a tweedle. Squeeze out music for Bailey the Beatle. Today, Beatle's mother and father and his younger brother have driven down to visit Beatle at the army camp where he's stationed. One of the officers points out Beatle's sergeant. Beatle's dad walks over to him and third picture top row slaps him on the back. Boom! Oh, well, so you're sergeant snorkel. Ha, ha, ha. Beatle wrote us about you. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Sergeant snorkel looks quite surprised. Beatle's little brother says, yeah, he does look sort of like an ape. Sergeant snorkel walks furiously to headquarters. Last picture top row when yells over the intercommunication system, Bailey, to the orderly room on the double. Just then, Beatle's little brother opens the filing cabinet where all the army's secret information is kept. He pulls out a sheaf of papers and exclaims, look at maps. First picture bottom row, sergeant snorkel runs over to him. No, no, no, no, no, no, little boy. And he takes the maps away from Beatle's brother. Then he sees Beatle's father in the captain's chair with his feet in the captain's desk and a bottle of ink spilled all over it. Eh, perhaps you'd be more comfortable waiting in your car. Beatle's father answers, oh, don't worry about us. Ha, ha, ha, we're fine. Ha, ha, ha, ha. And then, sergeant hears Beatle's brother yell over the intercommunication system. Hit the road, you guys. You're discharging. You're discharging. Hey, you hear that, fellas? We can go home. By this time, sergeant snorkel is half crazy. Oh, I gotta find Beatle quick. He dashes over to the camp kitchen. He finds Beatle peeling potatoes. Snorkel says, hey, Beatle, hurry. Your folks are over in the office. Beatle answers, my folks. Oh, but what about my potatoes? Never mind the potatoes. And sergeant snorkel scribbles something on a piece of paper. Here, take this and go. Last picture, Beatle exclaims, gee, a weekend pass. He dashes off to meet his folks. Hey, sometimes sergeant's almost human. The sergeant picks up Beatle's knife and starts peeling potatoes. And thinking of all that he's gone through the last half hour, he groans, I'll be OK in a few days, though. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, for a few days. That makes him glad, doesn't it? You bet it does. He doesn't have to peel potatoes for two or three days anyhow. Unless he gets in trouble in town and gets reported to the sergeant. Yes, unless he gets in trouble. And Beatle's off next week. Either would I. Well, now let's turn over the page and see what we shall see. All three. Yes, Prince Bellion. And you remember, last week, Boltar, thy and Sprint came back from his journey across the sea. And he had a happy reunion with his wife, Tillicombe. And Tillicombe, he has little Prince Arn's nurse too. And when Boltar wanted her to go home with him, she took little Prince Arn along. And I'm worried because some enemies of Boltar wanted to get him in bad with the king. And I'm worried. Well, let's see if you have any real reason to see if you're worried. Here we go with Prince Valiant in the days of King Arthur. Eckhart, Breckett, Gray Malkin, and Quince. Music romantic for a fair, fair prince. Boltar is having such a pleasant time talking over his adventures with his wife, Tillicombe, that they pay no attention to little Prince Arn. So he decides to do some exploring of his own. He takes up his bow and arrow and leaves the castle. He walks out into a strange new world where a man like himself might find a bear or a wolf. Instead, first picture, second roll, he finds a man sitting beside a bush eating sweetcakes. Arn doesn't like the man, but the cakes are good and the man is friendly. Well, I see you're a hunter. And now it just happens that I know where the best hunting is to be found. Just over there among those trees. Come, I'll show you. So he takes the child and leads him into the forest nearby. Last picture, second roll, Prince Arn knocks his arrow to the boastery and proceeds cautiously towards some bushes, not seeing a man holding a blanket in his hand, quietly waiting behind a huge tree. As Prince Arn nears him, the man suddenly throws the blanket over him. And then he picks up the bundle wrapped in the blanket, first picture, bottom roll, and disappears in the forest. It's not long before Tillicombe discovers that Prince Arn is missing. Her search leads her outside of the castle and her Indian background soon tells her the story of what's happened. Her keen eye sees little Arn's footsteps in the earth. The last picture lead her to the place where the man had set. She sees where Arn had stood and then she sees the crumbs of the sweetcakes he had eaten. And she knows those sweetcakes didn't come from Boltar's house. And suddenly a feeling of great fear comes over her. That harm has come to little Prince Arn. I hate them too. It was a cruel thing to do, frightening a little child that way just because they hate Boltar. But if cats up with those men who capture little Prince Arn, do you think that'll happen? I certainly hope so. Well, now let's turn over the page. Oh, look, there's Robin Hood. Yes, Robin Hood. And last week, he outfoxed the sheriff of Nottingham, who's trying to help Prince John steal the throne and become king of England in his brother Richard's place. And King Richard to see if they could raise enough money to get the king free. And the sheriff of Nottingham was saying, he didn't have any money at all. But that's where Robin Hood showed him up. Robin Hood and his men slipped into the sheriff's castle, overpowered his guards, and dug out all of the money and jewelry that the sheriff was hiding. And then they brought it to the square in front of all of the people and dumped it on a table right in front of the queen. Well, let's read and see. Here we go with the story of Robin Hood. It's Mary, Mary, England in days long ago. Time now for Robin Hood, some music. Hi-ho. The sheriff, Prince John, and the queen look on in amazement as Robin Hood and his men are still in disguise. Poor the horde of loot they had found in the sheriff's castle on the table before them. And one of the men shouts, the sheriff's heart is bigger than he knew. Ha-ha-ha-ha. As the crowd roars with laughter, the queen says, oh, God be thanked. Now the ransom of your king is assured. That night, first picture, bottom row, Prince John and the sheriff watch as the gold is loaded in a wagon to be hauled to safety. Prince John says, men who fear riches return as much as you and I, dare not stop now. Tomorrow your bowman, disguised as Robin Hood's outlaws, will steal our money back when the queen's party is conveying the ransom through Sherwood Forest. The sheriff replies, aunt is a bold plan, my lord Prince John. But the maid, Mary, knows the real outlaws. She could expose our deception. Then she shall not accompany the queen. Hubert! Later that night, last picture, Mary and receives an unexpected summons. When she opens her door, Prince John's man Hubert bows and says, my lady, the archbishop requests that you follow me to his presence at once. Mary and make a prisoner of her so she can't go along tomorrow when the gold is going to be delivered. That's precisely what they're planning. And then he means to have his own man capture the gold when it's sent to its way. Oh, I just wish Robin Hood's men would go along and see what happens. I'll bet you they'd take the gold back again and then help the queen's men take it to where she wants to send because Robin Hood is good. I hope it works out that way. Instead of Prince John getting the gold back and making everybody think Robin's men were the thieves. We'll find that out next week. Now it's time for Flash Gordon. Oh, and I'm worried about Flash because he's in terrible trouble. Well, let's look into that. So let's go to the very last page of the first section. That Flash came to the planet Venus and his spaceship had crashed in some strange kind of a sea. Yes, the waters of this sea were thick, almost like oil. And Flash had to get out of this ship because it would sink. So he used his flash gun and made a kind of a boat out of a piece of the spaceship. And then just as he was being attacked by some strange creatures in that sea, he used his rocket gun again to give him jet power and send his boat flying across the sea like a speedboat. I hope he finds land someplace. So please read so I can find out. All right, here we go with Flash Gordon. Riga-dega-doon-doon, Sascha Matash. Let's have music for heroic flash. Using his flame gun as a rocket motor, Flash drives his raft across the Silicon Sea of Venus and beaches it on an unknown swampy shore. As the earth people leap ashore, the mysterious fishmen draw closer in their pursuit. Second picture, Flash seeks safety in the unexplored forest of perpetual rain. With amazement, he finds that the fishmen are amphibious and can continue their pursuit ashore. Flash tells Dale, now you and Zarkov, go ahead. I'll try to discourage our many friends. From behind a tree, Flash watches as the fishmen approach. And then he gives them a blast from his flame gun. Caught by surprise, their leader falls and the others disappear in their chemical sea. And then Flash hurries to catch up with Dale and Zarkov. First picture, bottom row, pushing into the dripping wilderness, a little group of earthlings leaves the fishmen's sea far behind. They walk along in silence for a while. And suddenly they see strange trees with leaves as large as a tent. Flash, knowing that Dale is tired, says, all right, we rest under this one. As they relax from the dry shelter of a giant roof bush, they are amazed to hear a stern voice from a nearby tree. Hark, intruders on Venus, throw down your weapons. If your mission here is a peaceful one, Flash grips his gun and whispers, he calls it Venus. He's an earth man. Last picture, moving cautiously, Flash seeks vainly for the owner of the voice. From the forest comes the hissing sound of a chemispray gun. The roof bush shelter goes up in smoke. And again the voice is heard. King Stang of Venus means what he says. Drop your guns or you die. Some bushes in each point, Flash. Yes, and it looks as though Flash hasn't a chance but to throw down his gun. Well, it seems, myself, that if this man who calls himself King Stang tries to do something to them, I wonder how this will turn out. We'll have to wait until next week to find out. But now let's pick up the second section of Puck the Comic Weekly. Oh, and here's my grid. And I'll read that in just a moment. But first, here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly. And on the first page of the second section, Dagwit and Blondie. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Ram-a-foo, ram-a-fum, sim-sam-zombie, conjume music for Dagwit and Blondie. Cookies friend Sheila is going to spend the night with the Bumsteads. And she's brought a suitcase filled with comic books and her toothbrush and pajamas. Shortly after she gets there, Dagwit's boss, Mr. Dithers, comes up to the Bumstead house. Last picture, top row. He says to himself, I'd give Bumstead a raise, but I'm afraid he might go out more at night and I'd have trouble finding him. Dagwit opens the door for his picture, second row. Dithers walks in, hands Dagwit a briefcase full of work saying, all right, let's roll up our sleeves. You got work to do. I promise to deliver these snuggle brothers' estimates in the morning. Hours later, in the middle of the night, Dagwit, who's been working on the snuggle estimate, says, finish at last. Now to drag myself up to bed for a few hours' sleep. Last picture, second row. He looks at the floor and exclaims, oh, what a mess. These kids have strewn comic books all over the house. He picks up the comic books and first picture, bottom row, with the comic books in one arm and the snuggle estimates in the other. He comes up the stairs. He hears the sound of crying and then sees Sheila come out of Cookie's room with a suitcase. Charlie, here, put this stuff in your suitcase and come on, I'll take you home. Next morning, after a night's working on the snuggle estimates, taking Sheila halfway across town to her home, Dagwit, having had no sleep to speak of, staggers into the office. Last picture, third row. He says to Mr. Dithers, oh, here you are, boss. There's blood, sweat, and tears in this briefcase. Oh, Dagwit, dear boy, just give me the estimates. First picture, bottom row. Dithers opens the briefcase and takes the papers out. And then he roars, comic books, and leaps to his feet. He gets to climb over the desk at Dagwit. Dagwit in fear yells, I resign. Mr. Dithers jumps at Dagwit and begins to throttle him. When his secretary comes in and says, oh, Mr. Dithers, Snuggle Brothers called and said to forget the estimates. They're not building this year. Whereupon Mr. Dithers stops choking Dagwit and stands up. Dagwit is so relieved and so tired, he decides to stay where he is on the floor and he promptly falls asleep. Last picture, Mr. Dithers goes back to his desk. He picks up the comic books and starts to read them. Oh, goody, goody. Here's Dagwit and Blondie. I just love them, dear, dear Dagwit. And then he looks at Dagwit and says, oh, bless his heart. He's sleeping like a baby. Well, now let's see what silly thing he does in the comics today. Oh, poor Dagwit. He was so sleepy when he got through with his work that he put the snuggle papers in Sheila's suitcase and the comic books in Mr. Dithers' briefcase. Yes, it's a good thing that the snuggle people called up, or Dithers would have snuggled his fist all over Dagwit's face. That's funny. Snuggled his fist all over Dagwit's face. Well, it could have happened. Well, now let's turn over the page. Who will smuggle the gold from the government Indian reservation? Yes, you learned Sam was smuggling the gold from the government Indian reservation. Yes, you learned Sam was smuggling the gold in the spoke in one of the wheels of the stagecoach. Roy escaped from Sam Teal and rode after the stagecoach to guard it because he knew the driver was honest and didn't know the gold was being smuggled. And then that man's stagecoach, but Roy and one of the passengers tricked him. And now Roy's captured how he's come to the station where the coach is to make a stop. I'm worried because Sam Teal got there first. And an unfortunate thing has happened. The sheriff has gone away, leaving his office in charge of the man named Denver. And what the sheriff does? Who's Sam Teal's helper. And now Roy's going to come into the sheriff's office in a minute and those two crooks are inside. I wonder what'll happen to Roy. Well, let's read and find out. Here we go with Roy Rogers, King of the Cowboy. Hi, yippie-yo. Now here we go with Roy and Trigger. Hi, yippie-yo. Sam Teal looks at the stage, which has rained in outside. Quickly says to Denver, Roy Rogers is coming. Hank, like the sheriff, and stall for time. Denver, I'll sneak out and fetch the gold hidden on the stage. Sam slips out the back way just as the front door opens. Roy walks in. Howdy. I got a road agent tied up on the stage. Name a happy in Hobbs. Denver exclaims. Yeah, but Sam Teal told me he shot Hobbs just the other day. Roy answers. Hey, it doesn't seem likely that Sam would confess a murder to a real lawman. Hey, where's your badge? Denver exclaims. Right here. Last picture top row pulls his gun. Roy goes for his. No! Roy says, not fast enough, mister. There's something fishy here. I'm locking you up while I have a look around. First picture bottom row, Sam Teal sneaks out to the stagecoach. The driver, knowing he's after the gold and the hollow spokes of the wheel, yells, Hey, stay away from that wheel, Sam Teal. Sam turns and knocks the driver over. Then quickly climbs into the driver's seat. After him, Hobbs, who is tied up inside the coach, yells, Hey, Roy, Sam Teal's getting away with the gold. Sam, seeing he hasn't a second to lose, whips up the horses. Roy dashes out of the sheriff's office. Last picture and yells, No, he won't. Come on, trigger. Yes, but now Roy has a better chance of getting him. Yes, because now there's only Sam Teal and Roy against each other. And always before Roy was up against so many people. Yes. And with Roy on trigger, he certainly had to get going. Well, we'll have to wait to find out, but we won't have to wait to turn over the page. And look who's there. Oh, look, Dick's adventure. Yes, and Dick is in the early days of America with Lieutenant Oliver Perry in the American Navy. The only trouble is they don't really have the Navy because when Lieutenant Oliver Perry got to Lake Erie, he found out that they didn't have any ships at all. So his men had to start building the ships. And they need ships because the British are at war with Americans. And the British ships are on Lake Erie. And remember last week, the lookout yelled, the British ships were coming to attack them. Now they'll be really in trouble. Let's read now and see what's happened. Here we go with Dick's adventures. Say the magic words with me. Rickety pack, kazack, kazick. Let's some music for adventurous Dick. The British have learned that Perry is building ships on the shores of Lake Erie and have sailed to attack the Americans. Last picture top row, Perry looks at his own ships which are only half finished, still standing on shore. And Dick says, we'll be sitting ducks for him, sir. First picture second row, Perry looks out over the harbor at the British sails out on the lake. He has only one advantage. The entrance to the harbor where the British ships would have to come to attack them is protected at its narrow mouth by a long flat sandbar. Perry says, let them try to get in. They'll be stuck hard and fast on the sand. A wise commander, Perry has cannons set up and ready in case the British should come any closer. The British send an officer under a flag of truce last picture second row. He challenges Perry to come out and fight. First picture bottom row, Perry answers. My regrets, Lieutenant. Inform your captain, I'm not quite ready. But he's welcome to wait outside the harbor until kingdom come. The British captain seems to know about the sandbar and so doesn't try to sail into the harbor. They prowl around outside for weeks. Perry, meanwhile, hurries his men at their work, building the ships, hoping and praying that something will make the British be less careful and come close enough so his cannon, mounted on the hilltop, can get at them. The British officer, he could wait outside the harbor till kingdom come. Yes, and the longer they wait, the better chance Perry will have to get his ships built. Oh, I wish the British would sail in and get stuck on that sandbar and just couldn't move and then Perry could go bang, bang, bang and build the ships to pieces. We'll find out next week if that happens. Now look at the bottom of the page. There's Rusty Riley. Oh, yes. And I'm getting so excited about this because Rusty's going to run his horse in that race hoping to win $1,000 so that he can give the $1,000 to Mrs. Jones and she can pay that man Mr. Marlowe that money that she owes him and then he can't take her farm away from her. No, but Rusty's in trouble because he took his horse to the blacksmith to have new shoes put on him so the horse could run better and faster in the race. And the blacksmith said the charge for this was $20. And Rusty doesn't have $20. But a man who took a liking to Rusty, a man named Stovepipe, has gone to work at a carnival selling medicine that he calls snake oil to try to raise the $20 for Rusty so Rusty can get his horse back from the blacksmith. Well, I wonder if you'll do it today. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Rusty Riley. Gallop and run till the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty. Rusty and Pete stare in amazement as they see their friend Stovepipe at the carnival standing beside an Indian in full regalia. He's holding a bottle of snake oil in his hands and he's haranguing the crowd. And its price is not a dollar, no half a dollar, but only 25 cents, one-fourth of a dollar. My assistance will pass among you. As his assistance pass through the crowd, Stovepipe steps down to talk to Rusty. Excuse me, Mr. I mean, Dr. Stovepipe, but that blacksmith is going to lock up in a half hour and we can't get space pilot until immoral. Oh, I see. Take over, Captain. This is an emergency. I must converse with Denver Dooley. Stovepipe hurries over to Denver Dooley, the owner of the carnival, last picture top row. A quick Dooley. I want 20 of my cut. No time to explain. I'll go on with a pitch, but I need two softboxes now. Well... Okay, Doc, but don't try running out on me if you ever want to work on a carny again. First picture bottom row, Stovepipe hands the $20 to Rusty. Here you are, my colleagues. Be off to the village, Smithy, and bring our steed here. I'll find a place for him to remain overnight. Third picture bottom row, Rusty and Pete return to the fairgrounds with their horse and the buggy. As the unharnessed space pilot, a man dressed in cowboy clothes and with a big handlebar moustache under his nose approaches. Doc's still pushing the snake oil. I'm Cactus Jake. He fixed it with the officials for you to have this shed. And he's got your bailer hay. Oh, thanks, Cactus Jake. Say, this is fine. And I guess it's all right for Pete and me to sleep here too, huh? Meanwhile, last picture in the sheriff's office. The door opens. The sheriff greets the man who enters. Oh, it's you, Marlowe. Well, I suppose you're here about the foreclosure proceedings against wither Jones. Well, looks to me like you're in an awful hurry. I ain't interested in your opinion, Sheriff. I want the paper served tomorrow. And it's your job to do it. And now space pilot's wearing the kind of shoes that stovepipe says he needs to wear if he's going to win that race. Well, I hope it works because there's that Mr. Marlowe in the last picture in the sheriff's office, and he really means to try to take that farm away from Mrs. Jones. And he isn't going to give her a chance to pay him back the money because he wants that farm. You see, he knows there's oil on it, and if he gets it, he knows he'll be rich. Well, I hope that Rusty can save it for Mrs. Jones. Well, we'll find out next week. Now, that's all the time I have. But before I go, here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information. Honey and all you boys and girls, I gotta go now. All right, we... Okay, that's a date. And a date with all you boys and girls. Miss Honey, next week, when I read Pop the Comic Weekly. For I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friend the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man.