 and welcome back to my YouTube channel. If you're new here, I'm Sarah and I help teach people how to find inner happiness through fitness and spirituality. And today, we're gonna talk about why you can't hit your goals. That no matter what you do, how long you've tried to hit it, and this could be any kind of goal, this could be something work related, it could be relationship related, it could be fitness related, it could literally be anything. There are so many of us out there that try for weeks or months or even years and we fall off the wagon or we keep trying and we just can't seem to get where we want to be regardless of what that is. So I want you to think about your daily life. Kind of run through your head, what you do from the second you get up until the second you lay down. What does your day to day routine look like? And it may not be the same every day, but in general, what are you doing? When are you waking up? What are you doing in the morning? Are you going to work? Are you going to school? What are you doing after that? What are you doing before bed? Really sit there and think about it. Now I want you to think, what should you be doing during those times? And now I want you to think about should you be doing those things? Should you be waking up at this time? Should you be going to the gym? Should you be going to work? Should you be doing this nightly routine before you go to bed? And then I want you to think about what do you want to be doing? What time do you want to wake up? What time do you want to go to the gym, if at all? What time do you want to go to work or school? Do you even want to be going to this particular school or work or be doing what you're doing? Are you wanting to do whatever your nightly routine is at the end of the day? Are you wanting to do the extracurriculars or anything else that you have going on when your day starts to slow down later on? And then I want you to put those two things side by side. The shoulds and the once. Now, I don't personally know most of you. However, I'm going to sit here and say that most likely the shoulds and the ones aren't the same. They're not matched up, am I right? Because I'm telling you right now for me, no. They're not always matched up and a lot of them aren't. But that's really what we're going to be talking about in this video today because I truly believe that the reason we can't attain certain goals is because we're looking at what we should be doing or what society tells us we should be doing versus what we actually want to do. So the example that I want to give with you guys today is working out. I've been going to the gym training very consistently for about eight or nine years now. I work out typically six days a week, sometimes five, sometimes seven. And I've been doing this for close to a decade and I've really never taken any time off except for when I got surgery a few years ago. And I'm not saying this to brag, I'm just saying it as an example because I learned something probably about two years ago about my workout routines that I wish I had known from the very beginning that would have saved me a lot of frustration and would have made me feel like I was succeeding when at that time I really felt that I was failing. And what that is is that I realized that society and social media and everything that we're surrounded by every day, they tell me, well, you should be going in the gym to get stronger. You should be going because you want to lift more weights, higher reps, higher weights and you should basically continue to do that until, I don't know, you die or like you don't work out anymore. And so that's what I was doing. I was continuing to try to lift heavier and go to the gym longer and do these type of workouts and then mix in this. And then I realized, well, I don't care about getting stronger. Did she just say that? Yes, I did. I did just say that. I don't. And it took me getting stronger necessarily. The gym does so many amazing things for me. It makes me feel good. It empowers me. It gives me more energy. And of course it makes me look better. And those are the things that I love to go to the gym for and those are the things that keep me going back every day, day after day. Those are the reasons that I wake up in the morning because I know from trial and error that if I don't go to the gym in the morning, I don't feel as good the rest of the day. I'm less likely to stick to eating healthy foods the rest of the day. I'm less likely to feel energized the rest of the day. I'm less likely to feel empowered and believe in myself and be a go-getter for the rest of that day. But I'll tell you what, when I lift shoulders, I don't look more than five pounds. And I haven't done that in a really long time. When I lift biceps, I don't lift more than 10 pounds. Can I? Yeah, sure, of course. I used to curl 20, 25 pounds. That was my goal. Keep going heavier, keep going heavier. Why? Because that's what you're supposed to do. Well, guess what? Everyone's goals are different. So when I'm lifting and trying to lift heavier weight, but I'm failing at it, it's making me feel not good. It's not making me feel empowered, which are the reasons I like to go. Do you see what I'm getting at here? So once I flipped the script and I truly understood the reason I wanted to go to the gym, the reason I enjoyed going to the gym, I started crafting my workout around those things. I used to do a ton of cardio because you're supposed to. I freaking hate cardio. And there are plenty of people out there that love it. People that go out and run marathons or triathlons or do cross country or whatever it is. I hate that shit. I don't wanna run more than a little sprint if I'm gonna run. And it took me so many years to understand that that was okay. It's okay that there's another woman next to me at the gym who wants to get stronger and wants to build larger shoulder arm muscles. And it's okay that I don't. And as soon as I flipped the script in my head and started making the workouts the way I liked and enjoyed, it made me feel more empowered. It made me feel better about myself. It made me feel like what I was doing was what I wanted to do versus what I should be doing. And I think that that's a huge lesson that we can take with us across the board with anything that we wanna do in life. Are you going to law school because you think you should? Because that's what your parents want you to do. Because that's what society tells you to do. Well, I got this degree, so that means I should do this. Or are you doing it because you truly want to? And if you truly want to, then fricking have at it, okay? Like life is so short and it is so meant to be enjoyed the way that we design it. And every single one of us are so different. We have so many different goals. The girl that I work out with at the gym, we've been training for three or four years together. We have different goals. We want our bodies to look a different way. But that doesn't mean that one of us is right and one of us is wrong. It just means that we're different and there's nothing wrong with that. So I invite you to look at the things that you're currently doing in your life. And I want you to ask yourself, are you doing them because you think you should be or because you want to? Because once you start doing things because you want to, you start to feel better about yourself. You start to feel more empowered. You start to feel more whole and happy and excited about whatever it is that you're doing. Are you at a high-paying job because, but you're miserable, but you feel like you should be there because of the money that you're making even though you don't want to be there. Do you see the difference that I'm making here? Stop living for the should and start living for the want, for the desire, for the love, for the passion. That's what life is all about. Doing the things you love to do and want to do and wake up excited to do. I know that if I were waking up and the only reason I was going to the gym was to hit a new PR, I would not be as motivated to go. And I think that's exactly why we all lose motivation and lose excitement and desire and we feel that we fail at things in life because we're not following the blueprint of what society is telling us the reason that we should be doing that thing. So when those things aren't lining up, we're feeling like a failure when in reality we just need to align with what we want to do and why we're doing it. And the thing is is that once we start to align with that, we will feel more fulfilled. So I'm always preaching on my Instagram, on my Twitter, on YouTube here with you guys like tracing your why. Why are you doing something? Why are you in this job? Why are you in the relationship? Especially when it comes to drinking. You know, you feel like if you go out with friends or coworkers that maybe you haven't seen in a while and you're going out to get drinks, a lot of times, and I've been here plenty of times, you get a drink because you feel like that's what you're supposed to do. That's what you should do. But do you actually want to do that? And if you do have a beer, have a martini, have whatever, but if you don't truly know why you're doing something, it's more than likely because you think you should be doing that instead of because you want to. So I hope this video helped you guys take an introspective look at your life, the little things that you're doing, the big things that you're doing, your goals, your dreams, your wants, desires. Look at everything that you want in life. Are you working because you want this specific car? Okay, well do you want that car because you feel like you should want that car? Or do you actually want it? Will it actually bring you the happiness or whatever it is that you think it's gonna bring you? Or do you think it's what you should be driving because everyone else in society thinks that with the specific job that you have, that's what you should be driving? So I hope this video helped you guys a lot. This has really put things into perspective for me. It's something that I still wrestle with on a daily basis and something that I try to align myself with. And it's not easy and it really takes a lot of looking inwards and looking at your life and not as a whole but taking your life apart, ripping it apart piece by piece and asking yourself why am I doing these things? Do I wanna be doing it? And is it bringing me happiness, peace or fulfillment? And if it's not, what can I do instead of that specific thing? What goal can I change? What activity can I change? What thought pattern can I change? That's going to get me more aligned with my wants and not what I believe my shoulds are. I love you guys so much. I want you to live such a happy and fulfilling life and I want you to live out everything that you desire and everything that you want and stop living by society standards. Stop living by your spouse's desires or your parents' desires or your teacher's desires. Live for you. Enjoy your life for you. Please don't forget to subscribe and like this channel. It really helps me grow and I do wanna continue making these videos for you guys. I love you so much and don't forget, be limousely yourself.