 What's up everybody this is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution So if you are new here, or even if you are one of my subscribers This is a brand new series that I'm starting where I am taking people who are both successful as well as happy And I'm going to break down their mindset and explain using psychology as well as neuroscience As to how they got to this place so you can implement it in your life, too Gary Vaynerchuk is a multimillionaire who was brought here as a young child as an immigrant from another country He couldn't even afford a $20 New York Jets jersey And now he is on the path to buying the New York Jets, which has been a childhood dream of his He is one of the most inspirational speakers of our time. He is this amazing entrepreneur Success publicity all that stuff. It doesn't it's not what intrigues me about him What intrigues me about Gary Vaynerchuk is what has intrigued me about human beings since I was a very young child How do people have happiness despite? Success because something that I've learned is that success does not equal happiness So let's watch this clip and see exactly what Gary Vaynerchuk is talking about and then we'll go ahead and break this thing down We have a nice little Q&A. It's a good talk. It's fucking cool I leave I go to cross the street to go into my car to go to the airport and I get hit by a car Literally as I'm laying there. I'd like fuck I shouldn't have left the conference that early Like it is in my mindset that literally every negative thing that happens to me is my fucking fault I recognize that that's not true You know when I talk about this Publicly everybody starts bringing up stuff like what if you're raped and one of this and I understand I'm a logical practical person I'm not talking about knowing or thinking everything is my fault I'm talking about living a life where you default into believing that as your mindset like you just saw in that clip When Gary Vaynerchuk talks he says these things that a lot of people find confusing But I'm about to explain to you why this is one of the best things that you can learn about your life What's always fascinated me about different successful people and their mindset is that they don't understand that they were given this Natural ability to control and change their their brain pathways without even realizing it And I hope this can give a little insight so Gary V if you check this out Here's a little explanation for you So the psychology theory that we're gonna focus on today was brought about in the 1950s by a man named Julian Rotter and this is called locusts of control Now we all have a locusts of control, but there are only two different types of a locusts of control One leads to success as well as happiness and the other leads to a lot of depression as well as anxiety So first there is the internal locusts of control and then there is the external locusts of control The external locusts of control is a mindset that we have that nothing that we do matters Okay, so for example when I get fired. It wasn't my fault those bosses were out to get me I didn't get that promotion. I didn't get that raise because they didn't like me or because Susan is prettier than I am right. Oh the only reason my friend is more successful than I am is because he was raised in More financially stable household than I was okay this external locusts of control means that we believe That we have absolutely no control over our own fate now the internal locusts of control someone with an internal locusts of control thinks about all these situations completely differently just like you heard Gary Vaynerchuk just say if he were to get hit by a bus right after that talk He gave he'd be laying there on the ground thinking I should have left at that time What that does just switching your mind mindset with this very simple thing It will change your life because you start realizing how much control you actually have You start to see that oftentimes you set in motion Paths towards either success or towards failure towards happiness or towards depression Towards peace calm and tranquility or towards anxiety when you realize how much control that you actually have You will immediately see this change in the way things start painting out in your own life When I personally started working on my mental health over five years ago My mentor used to always say this to me and it never made sense. He used to always say Chris It's a lot easier for you to fix you Then it is for you to try to fix the rest of the world because I was that guy I would look at everybody and everything and it's their fault is their fault is their fault is their fault It's their fault. Nothing was ever my fault. I was just dealt a bad hand from birth I had an alcoholic mother. My dad didn't make as much money as all the other parents of the friends I had I'm overweight. That's why I can't get women or I'm not you know the typical, you know Brad Pitt looking male. That's why I don't move up in my job Everything was out of my control and not my fault and it kept me in this depression But my my mentor kept telling me Chris. It's a lot easier for you to fix you and started realizing this like he's right I don't have control over whether or not my boss gives me a raise. That's true I don't have control over whether or not I'm gonna be stuck in traffic that I don't have control over So why am I going to let those things rent space in my head if I don't have control over them? So using those same two analogies getting a raise and being stuck in traffic While I do not have control over whether or not my boss gives me a raise I have control over my personal work ethic I have control over the fact that I show up on time I bust my butt and I'm always trying to advance in the company and do what's best for my company's interest By doing that I'm able to get the raises and promotions that I want while I don't have any control over traffic I do have control over what time I leave my house. I used to hate the world I used to think that everybody in Las Vegas would call each other up and say, you know what Chris is about to go to work Let's all get on the freeway. That's what I thought Now I leave my house 15 minutes earlier and I get stuck in traffic and being stuck in traffic Is the best part of my day. I get to sit. I get to sing. I can rock out in my car. It's amazing So start thinking about that how can you switch from an external locus of control to an internal locus of control? All right, remember what Gary Vaynerchuk said just start defaulting to everything is my fault When you're able to do that you will start to see that you are regaining control of your own life Now one of the ways that I have actually learned about this was through a book called the happiness advantage by Sean Acre this guy is a Harvard graduate and he is somebody who Has studied and has improved upon something called positive psychology in his book the happiness advantage He talks about how to be more successful how to find happiness But what I love about people like Sean Acre is that they give you scientific evidence behind it a 2002 study of nearly 3000 wage and salaried employees for the national study of the changing workforce Found that greater feelings of control at work predicted greater satisfaction in nearly every aspect of life family jobs relationships and so on People who felt in control at work also had lower levels of stress work family conflict and job turnover So if you want to learn more about the internal and external locus of control as well as a million other methods that you can use to Start being happier at work as well as in your everyday life. I highly suggest this book I put a link in the description below It's an affiliate link from Amazon and what that means is that it has no extra cost to you But it helps support this channel so I can make more amazing videos like this Question of the day with these mental health breakdowns that I'm going to start doing Who do you want me to cover next? Who is somebody that you look up to that is either just extremely happy or Successful hopefully a combination of both that you would like me to do a breakdown of and explain how they do it Leave it in the comments below, but thank you for watching if you're new here click the little round subscribe button right below I'm always making videos about how to improve your mental health I also do videos on addiction and mental illness and education and all that stuff So keep coming back also to the left of me click or tap on one of those thumbnails I have a ton of videos on my channel that'll help you out with your mental health So again, thanks for watching and I'll see you next time