 Hello again my YouTube family, in this one we're going to be talking about something that Narcissists don't want you to know About their new source Before I get into this as always, please hit the thumbs up button down below So that it will help to get this important message out there So that I can help other victims and survivors just like yourself Also, if you would like to donate You can donate through the super chat and the live chat down below Or you can also leave a super thanks in the comment section Or you can go to my PayPal, which is paypal.me Slash Narcissist survivor Also, don't forget that you can book a one-on-coaching session with me through my website It's Narcissist survivor.co.uk Now let's get into this Juicy topic About the Narcissist and their new source Because I know how it is It's like they didn't value your relationship They didn't care about you. They thought the grass was greener on the other side They thought they could do better without you Better with someone else So it looks like they've just gone off into this new situation and now There's so much happier without you they're living their best lives They're doing good now They've got all of these things going on as you may see on their social media They're flaunting this new source It looks like they're happy. They're smiling. They're having a good time without you That's how it seems That's how it looks like when you go on to their social media and you see What's going on with them now? Because of course I can understand You were in this relationship with them and all of a sudden they just Got cold on you they disappeared They didn't really tell you what was wrong or why they were leaving But I'm sure many of you you already know You were questioning them Confronted them On the things that they were doing You disapproved of the things that they said and you went happy with them So you invalidated their false image and they could no longer continue that with you Because you were just picking it apart You saw all of the things that were wrong with it So they decided to go off and have this fresh new start with someone else Well at least that's what it seems because as I've said before they never really move on they can simulate moving on They can pretend But the regard is that they are still hooked on you and a lot of these posts that you are seeing They may just be For you and you will know this especially What really reveals this is if they project that onto you So if they're really paranoid But what you're posting online And they're making it as though everything is about them That should instantly tell you That Everything they're doing everything they're flaunting That is specifically to get a reaction out of you That's how they're able to think that way about what you're doing Because that's exactly how it feels for them And they're just projecting that onto you And many of you you don't know it don't realize it you identify with it And you get paranoid and you worry about what you're posting online Or you try to prove your innocence and to show that you're not doing anything to upset them So then you kind of shut yourself down When really it's the other way around everything they're doing everything they're posting It's specifically to get a reaction out of you once they've left the relationship Especially if you were the one who discarded them Then they're really gonna want to get that reaction out of you All they're really concerned about is reactions And what they really want is positive reactions But after they've done so many things it's very difficult for them to get that out of you So then they've got to go and get that from someone else Well at the same time they will use this new source and this new relationship In an attempt to agitate you Because of course they know they understand That they infiltrated your life They ruined everything for you They gave it this facade this fake relationship or making you believe that they loved and cared about you So now they want to convince you that It is real after all It just couldn't be real with you But they can have that with someone else So that's their narrative and that's what they want you to believe Pretty much just to downplay yourself To affect your self-esteem by making you think That You're not fit for a relationship When again It's a projection That's actually how they feel about themselves Because the reality is that before they get involved with you They likely never thought about or saw relationships in the way that you do They never even looked at it that way before Because they were raised in an environment of abuse It was very toxic They're used to fights and arguments And they always got drawn into that they weren't trying to Run away from it all Like we were Like when we were children and maybe we heard our parents arguing and fighting We wanted to get away from it So maybe we just left the house. We just Spent some time to ourselves But narcissists don't do that They want to get into it. They want to get involved. They love a fight. They love arguments They love battles of the mind Mind games head games They just love getting into it with people They love drama. They love chaos They enjoy causing a disturbance They can't rest in a peaceful environment Where things are normal Where people have good relations Whether on good terms They can't rest in that type of environment And you should know that already from dealing with them And you just got to look at it like this How can someone go from that to enjoying fights, arguments, drama To then moving on to a normal peaceful environment Which is more concerned with Love connection get to know someone After they're playing all of these head games with you And spinning you around with circles Which is clearly what really brings them enjoyment more than anything else So you really think they're going to move on and be the exact opposite of who they were with someone else Of course not that's never going to happen Just as with you And they know that too you're not going to move on In another relationship and be the opposite of what you were with them Where you were constantly trying to make them happy Doing everything you could to make things right You were completely selfless You were empathic They know you're going to be that same way with someone else And instantly if they know it's going to prove That they were the ones who were wrong That there was something wrong with them And that's why they don't really want to see you moving on with someone else And they try to isolate you Because they already know how things are going to go Since you were that way with them and they know that someone else could be happy with a lot less So that's the explanation for that Well as for them We already know what they like what they enjoy They like drama chaos fights arguments They enjoy abusive people Manipulate to them gaslighting them Just ruining people's lives That's their idea of fun That's what brings them enjoyment If it didn't then then they never would have done those things to you So this is how you know Well as for you You never wanted to hurt them. You never wanted to see them in pain And that's how they were able to do those things to you Because otherwise Maybe the abuse would have stopped a long time ago If you weren't that type of person But my advice is not to change yourself just for the narcissist And anyway, we're not going to be capable of doing that. We are who we are You can't just completely change your character overnight just as they can't as well So whoever they move on to whoever they're with They're going to be the exact same way as they were with you They might be able to hide it for a certain amount of time Just as they did at the beginning with you They wore a mask But at some point the new source is going to figure them out What you've got to understand Is that different people have different characters? We have a different character away behaving There's different classes of people in this world And it depends on not only the environment we were raised in But more than anything else Because life is 10% of what happens to us And 90% of how we choose to respond to it So you may find someone who was raised in An affluent environment And yet because of how they responded to it They grow with a different character They behave in a very disorderly way Very toxic And then also someone could be raised in A very poor dysfunctional home And yet you look at them and it's like They have such good character It's just genuinely good people, they're empathic They're loving, they're kind, they're caring And do you think how is this possible? It's like How can a flower grow out of a pot of dirt? But it does If it's given the right amount of sunlight and water Then it can grow out of a pot of dirt And these conditions May have been from other people in the environment Or maybe that person just spent a lot of time by themselves So it's not always the environment It's how we choose to respond to it Because I don't know about you What you've been through exactly with the narcissist in your life Specifically But you may have gone through some horrible things And yet despite that you didn't let it change you You didn't let it change your way of behaving And that was your choice Because that's your true character While a lot of other people they may have responded to it very differently So it's not always what happens to us As it is more about how we respond to it And another thing is that It's not always People who grew up in a similar environment Who seemed to gravitate towards each other As it is How they choose to respond To certain situations in life That's how they bond together And that's how if the narcissist starts a smear campaign against you You may find people from all walks of life Who seem to bond together over your destruction And do you think how is this possible? Even people who are raised in good homes They were given everything they needed And of course it's because Of how they choose to respond to it And also there may have been a lot of things going on in that environment that you weren't aware of Because they have this false image So it looks good on the outside Just as your relationship did with the narcissist And knew and knew what was going on behind closed doors Only you knew that But as for the new source and what the narcissist doesn't want you to know about them I mean for one thing you've got to look at it like this After everything they did to you I mean just think back for a moment all of that abuse The gaslighting There was no accountability They did all of these things to you and then they left Started with someone new so quickly What kind of person is going to Accept or justify that? It has to be either someone who is unaware Or someone who's just like them Because that's the only way that's going to work And if it is someone who is unaware Then at some point they may become aware Well if it is someone who's just like them Then they're going to Target someone outside of the relationship And born together over their destruction And typically at the beginning that person will be you They're going to born together with destroying you And that's why they're floating to the new source on social media It's intended to get to you to get reaction out of you And then later on That our success will begin devaluing their new source And then that's when they may come back to hoover you They may re-idealize you again A lot of times this is just what they don't want you to know They want you to assume that this new source is better than you They kind of want you to idealize the new source Because you might assume that something was wrong with you So that must mean something must be better with the new source When that's really not how it is it's more The new source is Maybe unaware Though they may be willing to be the narcissist doormat If they are aware of them Or they may be narcissistic as well They may just be the same way But either way that person must have issues of their own If they can be with someone like that Is someone who treats people in that way Because you've got to think it's not normal Narcissist are always the opposite of normal They're unnatural And the reason for that is because they experienced abuse In their childhood Unnatural abnormal things were done to them And then they learned that this is the way to be And it's better to be on this side So you can get other people before they get you And then they see that as a source of power as well If they can just do the opposite If they can be resistant As an opposition To whatever is normal Whatever is typical usual or expected So that's really why they're that way Because when they were normal at some point in their lives They felt weak, they felt helpless They felt like they were being victimized by someone at that time So then they learned that it's better If they are the ones who are doing that someone instead If they are the ones who always have the power in every situation They're the ones who are in control They're the ones who are running the narrative Then maybe then it won't be like how it was before for them Where they got tricked they got exploited and certain things were done to them And that's why when you do begin to catch on Then they worry that they're going to get a taste of their own medicine and they should be on the other foot And that's why they're ready to leave and go off with someone else Or maybe unaware or maybe just like them But yeah one thing I've learned from all of my studies my research and my experience Is that like attracts like I know people say opposite attracts as well And in some ways that can be true I mean Sometimes we do like things that are different and usual But when we're talking about toxic people People who are dysfunctional They're abnormal They tend to gravitate towards each other And why because they feel more comfortable around those types of people They feel like they're not going to be judged because that person's doing the same thing as well So they're the same But then you may wonder Okay, so how did we end up with them? How did we end up with them? Unless we're toxic as well We're crazy, we're abnormal But actually If you look back at the beginning You didn't know what you were dealing with You didn't know they were like that If you had known from the very beginning You would have been running in the opposite direction You wouldn't have been dealing with them Because as I said, the likes attract like And it's the same thing with narcissists They either find someone else who is unaware Or someone just like them And a lot of times they do find someone who is very much like themselves Someone who also has these very strange desires And ways of behaving Because our way of being in relationships We desire love and connection We enjoy getting to know someone Or just judging them and assuming who they are We like affection, romance Holding hands, walking on the beach together Having a candlelit dinner And this was once normal in society When things were more traditional That's how things used to be But with a lot of these narcissistic people these days They've chosen money, power and control Over real love and affection That's what they've chosen instead So things like affection, romance Getting to know someone Just doing cute loving things for each other You may have been fooled into thinking That's what they like as well But they just reflected your own qualities and virtues back to you They're not really about that They were never about that They may never have even known what that was Until they met you And then they started to see things differently But even then it just incorporated it As a part of their first character That was tailor made for you And it may also be used for the character they used for the next person as well So they're actually not about any of that at all It's just that they knew you were What they're about is more drama, chaos, bullying Sadism They find pleasure and satisfaction From harming people Get going over on them Making them feel bad about themselves Fights, arguments, disagreements, opposition Maybe even violence as well That's what does it for them That's what they like And then you look back It's like once you realize that It's like of course things didn't work out with them Of course you couldn't have a proper normal relationship Of course they acted that way Of course they weren't loving affectionate Kind, caring, empathetic Of course they were none of those things Because that's not who they are That's not what they're about They just pretended to be that way Almost slipped They pretended to be that way in the beginning Just to get your attention on them So that they could then get what they wanted from you Not because it's what they were about That's why I say after they leave you They typically move on with someone else who is unaware Same as you And if it is someone who's unaware Then what will happen is They may love one of them in the beginning But then at some point they get bored Because that doesn't really interest them at all I mean they like the validation of their false character They like to feel desirable and attractive Powerful and important But they don't really want to do anything for the other person Unless it's just as a means to get that themselves Because they're feelings are all about themselves And that's why the love-bombing phase doesn't last for long They go to the devaluation They start abusing them because that's what they really like That's the way that they always were their entire lives Since childhood But the odds are that they will find someone who's more like themselves Rather than another person who is unaware Because if you look around there aren't really so any Innocent and aware people in this world today A lot of people are narcissistic So they may just find someone else like that And then what happens then is Normally one narcissist is submissive The other one is dominant And then these roles can change back and forth Throughout their relationship Where it's just endless fights, arguments Toxic and dysfunctional behavior And they love it They enjoy it I mean just remember how they treated you They thrive In toxic and dysfunctional environments But in loving affectionate conditions They can't survive in that Because it doesn't do anything for them It's only good Your giving them validation Compliments and praise And even when it comes to sex They don't really enjoy that as well They don't even experience physical or sexual attraction What they enjoy it's all just abuse They enjoy harming people Bringing them down and making them feel bad about themselves They don't enjoy making you feel good They don't enjoy that at all But they will give you that in the beginning Or at least the illusion of it Because of course they know If they just rip off their mask from the very beginning I mean if they have some Some intelligence at least Then they will know to To wear the mask First to know you in They're not going to just show you exactly who they are Right at the start Unless they can see already that you are aware Maybe you've experienced narcissists already And they know that they're not going to be able to get one over on you Then they may just show you exactly who they are right at the start And that's something you may see sometimes in public But they just have these blow-ups For no apparent reason at all They won't even hide it They'll show you exactly who they are Because they already know They're not going to be able to progress anything with you You're too smart You're too intelligent One red flag You're going to be out of there And they know that But yes, don't be fooled And I know how it looks Of course Many narcissists They are physically attractive They're charming and charismatic They appear as though something That you may want in your life Like you could have a good relationship with them And they could be loving and affectionate That's just because they know what a normal person wants to see Not because they're about that Just to drive this home They don't care about love They don't care about sex, affection Intimacy Connection Building a relationship with you They don't care about none of that They will raise in a toxic and dysfunctional environment And it had a lasting effect on them All they care about is power and control Validation They seem to crave that still just leading control again That's all that it is They do not care about love, affection, intimacy Connection, relationship, none of that They enjoy fights, abuse, harming people Making them feel bad about themselves Wearing them down, mentally, emotionally Turning a happy, optimistic, energetic person He's full of hope and optimism for life Turning that person into an emotional wreck He's giving up on everything He assumes that all they deserve is just harm and abuse And that's as good as it's ever going to get for them That's what they enjoy and they enjoy nothing more than that They thrive in that type of environment I can't remember who's quoted this But I know Ross Rosenberg mentioned it in one of his videos He said the rest were pigs You will get dirty and besides the pig likes it And that's really how it is And I asked the searcher like pigs, they play in the mud They enjoy laying their own filth And if they can pull you into it And get you dirty, they will love it It's not going to do anything for them They enjoy that As you may have seen that yourself already Whether you're getting into fights with them, you're arguing They love that They're having a great time arguing with you That's how they can do it for hours These hour long monologues they give to you Because that's the environment that they were raised in They thrive in toxic and dysfunctional environments In their home as a child And you may have experienced this yourself In your home with an arseist in your family Remember all the fights, all the arguments, all the violence They just love getting into it That's their idea of fun That's what they love Well I don't know about you but I was running away from it all I spent most of my time outside With distracted myself playing video games Or I was just at the beach cycling Spent most of my time alone for that reason Because it does nothing for me And that's how they get you Because they know you don't like arguments, you don't like fights You don't like meaningless opposition Drama You don't like none of that And that's how they gain power over you Because of course if you enjoy that Then it wouldn't work on you at all Any time you're arguing with them You're going into their wrestling ring You're on their turf, their playing field And in that arena You're never going to win And you're never going to win Because they've got a lifetime of experience in that Unlike you or me where we were running the opposite way Trying to get away from it Going more towards love and acceptance They were going into those battles Into those psychological games And they found a way somehow to find pleasure in that Yes, it's pleasurable And it makes them feel better about themselves While for us it makes us feel worse And this is what I don't want you to know about their new source But they may be getting into it with them as well Or they may be talking about you behind your back Laugh at you at your expense Finding pleasure in your pain In your misfortune And that's their idea of fun That's their idea of intimacy Or connection And that's where the oil is That's what's going on behind the scenes That's what you don't see They love gossiping Spreading rumours Talking about you Talking about you Stopping smear campaigns Punishing you While you, you are the most loving, caring person They've probably ever met in their lives They're never going to find anyone else like you ever again Despite that, look at what they did to you That's how they treat someone who cares And why? Because it's like Where were you 20, 30 years ago? Where were you at my childhood? With all of these things that were happening to me When I was being abused When I had to get into it I had to try to defend myself It's like, where were you when I needed that back then? That's how they see it Well, for us, we went through those things as well And yet we were so patient with them So forgiving I mean, the amount of things they did to you And you still continue to love and accept them You really think they're going to find anyone else who's so forgiving and tolerant They're never going to find anyone else like that ever again Because they really matter because They don't really want that anyway Even if they do find someone else like that They're just going to abuse them They're just going to mess with their minds Because that's the way they were fun That's what they enjoy If they didn't enjoy it, why would they do it? How could they spend all of those months or years abusing you Getting off on your pain Messing with your mind Playing these psychological games Why would they do that for all of that time if they didn't enjoy it? That doesn't make any sense So this is how you know that that's exactly what they enjoy They enjoy messing with you, hurting you Making you feel bad about yourself And they're not going to magically change overnight and beat up someone else This is their character This is the way that they are I mean if they were that way They would have gone on fine with you You would have had a connection You would have had a good relationship You didn't because you're different You want different things They want power and control You want love and affection And that's why you just couldn't get on together That's why things never went well between you and them As you may not realize this fully right now In time when you do meet another end part like yourself Then it will all make perfect sense When you meet someone who does want what you want And you can love them and they can love you You both enjoy affection and intimacy For real, not like how what the narcissist is fronting and displaying to you But this is how it is and this is how it always is for them Just look at your own family If they're narcissistic, they're dysfunctional Where are they now? What are they doing? Even after they scapegoated you They turned everyone against you So they should be these perfect role models then They should have healthy functional relationships A good connection with someone Why don't they have that? And of course the reason why is because that's not what they want They want power and control They don't care about love or affection You do And again, that's why you're scapegoated That's why you may be the target of a smear campaign Of a gang stalking Because most people aren't like that Most people aren't that way And in fact, I am aware of a statistic that was done By a family health clinic You can find it on Google It says that 96% of families in the world are dysfunctional That doesn't mean that the other 4% are functional They may just be recovering from the trauma and abuse And by realising this, you realise how rare you are But you may look back at so many failed relationships And now you may realise why Most people do not want what you want But this is why we do have these communities And people gravitate towards this They're seeking love and connection They can't find it in the real world Because most people don't want that They don't want it I mean, you've got to thank you want it You've been expressing it You've been looking for it So why haven't you found it? Why haven't you got it by now? I mean, if everyone wanted that, you would have found it by now But you haven't I just look at all of the viewers on this channel They haven't found a healthy functional relationship as well Because most people don't want that And you get involved in these relationships They start to turn against you They start to abuse you, put you down Make you feel bad about yourself Because that's what they really want That's what most people want Someone who they can manipulate, abuse and control People like us are very rare And that's why we've got to stick together But even then, even on these channels There are a lot of narcissists on here as well There are a lot of narcissists out there who think that they are victims When people did everything they could for them They gave them everything they had And yet they still believe that they are the ones who are the victims As I've said before, the victim comes in with a lot and leaves with very little or nothing The narcissist comes into the relationship with practically nothing And leaves with a lot Because that person, the real victim, they got manipulated and exploited I have to say though, in a way I do feel bad I'm sorry I have to say this in these videos About how most people in the world are dysfunctional And most people don't want the same things as you do And I understand how that can make you feel like giving up Like what's the point in trying? You might as well just stay single But that's not what I want for you I've never been about that But at the same time I want to give you the truth I don't want you to go blindly out into the world Thinking that everyone wants love, that everyone wants to see a connection Because if you go out and think like that, you're going to get hurt The reality is that most people do not want the same things as we do But that doesn't mean that we have to give up Because like I said, most people Not everyone is going to hurt you Not everyone is going to manipulate gas like you And I know that because I've seen it myself I've met some people already who weren't like that And maybe they were unaware as well Maybe they were being manipulated, abused, harmed, psychologically tortured While there was this facade of love, intimacy and a connection But yeah, to end out of positive note There are still good people in this world And anytime that you feel like it's just you Just remember, if you can be that way If despite everything that you've been through You can still be so loving, so kind So forgiving, so understanding Then there must be other people like you in this world as well And just look on this narcissistic abuse community on YouTube There's so many great YouTubers on here As you watch their videos and you can tell that they actually care And there's also many subscribers, many viewers People in the comments So we're not alone There are other people like us out there Other people who don't just think that Everyone's manipulative, so they've got to manipulate them There are people out there who can actually see the real you And the real them isn't so bad, so traumatized So broken, so damaged To the point where they can no longer be Natural and normal anymore I guess the real question is that many of you may have Is how do we meet these people in the real world? How do we find them? How do we know when we're dealing with one? And I would like to get into that in a video at some point in the future Because I do believe that there are certain characteristics Certain signs to look for That will reveal to you if you are dealing with someone Who is real, who is authentic Who is loving, kind and caring I mean I guess that's what we're looking for really is just Despite all of the things that are going on in this world Someone who still cares And I do believe that there are still people out there Who still care So I would like to get into that in a video at some point in the future And if you are interested in that You should hit the subscribe button for notifications So that when I do upload a video on that topic You will then be one of the first to see it Also give the video a thumbs up It helps a YouTube algorithm To get this message out there to other like-minded people just like ourselves And let me know what you think about what I've said in the comment section down below Don't be afraid to express yourself your views your opinions And read in the comments every day And I do try to respond to as many as I can Also, if you would like to show your support to our community You can leave a super chat in the live chat A super thanks in the comment section Or you can go to my PayPal It is PayPal.me slash Narc Survivor And if you would like to book a one-on-one coaching session with me You can go to my website. It is NarcSurvivor.co.uk Also, I do have pictures and videos of my travels Which I'm uploading Every day to my stories on Instagram. You can follow me on there. It is NarcSurvivor YouTube I'd just like to thank you all For joining me on another NarcSurvivor Live video I do appreciate you all Thank you all for your support And as always I look forward to speaking with you in another live video very soon