 5 reasons why narcissists target you. The narcissist targeted you for several reasons. They selected you. They picked you out of a group of people. They were drawn to you. They were attracted to you because they could see that you offered something of interest to advantage. You evoked a reaction from them and then they became fixated on you. They developed an obsessive attachment to you. They become preoccupied with you to where they were unable to think about anything else. And when this happens, they become arrested in development because they're paying attention to you exclusively and obsessively, rather than focusing on themselves so they don't move on. They stay stuck in this state, sometimes for the rest of their lives, to where they're always thinking about you in a way that is not reasonable. They're constantly giving all of their attention to you and there are several reasons why they do this, which will help you to learn more about yourself and it will help you to understand why they specifically targeted you instead of someone else. One, resistance. This is potentially the number one trait that extracts narcissists because they love a challenge or test. It makes them feel special and important when they can turn a note into a guess and you will notice that they're not really concerned about people who don't resist them. That doesn't interest them because there's no incentive for them unless it's just someone they're going to use for sexual purposes. But when they're looking for long-term supply they need to fight. They need a battle. They need something that they have to overcome so they actually enjoy it when a target initially shows resistance and opposition. It attracts them. They're like rapists. They enjoy engaging activities without your consent or agreement but they're also very arrogant and delusional so they're making agreements in their heads without your knowledge or awareness and if their minds that justifies it, that means that it's okay because they've already told themselves that you want it or that it's good for you or that they're meant to elevate themselves at your expense because they're more important. So believe it or not they actually enjoy it when you resist them. They get off on it. It turns them on. It makes them want you even more because they love the chase. It's like cat and mouse and they were trying to trick you into making a mistake so that they have an advantage over you because then they can feel like they've won. They've defeated you. They've overpowered you. When they see that you're trying to refrain from doing something tempting or unwise that tells them the game is on and it's a competition that they have to win because you become this forbidden fruit. This thing that they desire all the more because it is not allowed to innocence. The narcissist is drawn to your innocence, to your guiltlessness and blamelessness, to your purity and lack of sin, to your lack of wickedness and corruption, to your honesty and humility because they're the exact opposite of that. So they desire these qualities and traits in their target. Narcissists are immoral and corrupt. They're dishonest and fraudulent. They deceive people in you dishonest methods to achieve their objectives so they take pleasure in being around someone who is free from immorality because then they can live vicariously through that person and then they can feel pure. They can feel like they're not the monster that they actually are which doesn't really make any sense because a deceptive dishonest person, target any person who is innocent is immoral in itself but this is what narcissists do to maintain their self image. They have to target innocent people but when they do that after some time it will begin to reflect badly on them. It will begin to bring their flaws and mistakes to the surface and that is when they will have to reverse the rules in you. They will have to label you as the wicked and immoral person so that they can save themselves and their own emotions so that they can feel like they're free from fault or wrongdoing because all they're actually doing when they do this is they're just running from themselves. They target you because they're running from everything they despise about themselves which is why once they've been around you long enough and it begins to reflect badly on them they have to disown their negative traits and assign them to you so now you become impure because they've contaminated you. They've robbed you of your innocence. Three, non-conformance. The narcissist targeted you because you don't comply with social norms. You don't comply with the unwritten rules of beliefs, attitudes and behaviors that are considered acceptable in a particular social group or culture. You don't conform to standards that are usual, typical or expected. You act differently to everyone else. You're socially distant. You avoid social interaction with people who you perceive as being different to yourself. You maintain a safe and appropriate distance from other people and it may be because of your own choice or because a narcissistic parent or partner isolated you but for whatever reason you don't conform. You reject their proposals and ideas. You live in your own truth, high standards. You have your own set of standards. These levels of qualities or attainments, these moral rules that you expect to be obeyed and this may include dimensions such as social class, race, ethnicity, gender or sexuality but you prefer to mix with a certain group of people and the narcissist will notice it. They will immediately pick up on it and it will draw them to you because they want to be the exception. They want to be the person who is excluded from the general statement or rule. They want to be seen as someone who is special, important rather than feeling like someone who is left out. So they will target you for this reason because they see it as a challenge and they have to win. They have to come out on top. They have to be more successful than the other people that they are competing with because then that tells them that they are still relevant and superior which is what they want because they are seeking status and power. 5. Authenticity. The narcissist targeted you because of your authenticity, because of your genuineness and originality, your quality of being real and true. You are able to be yourself. You could behave in a natural way rather than pretending to be different and this makes you stand out. It makes you stick out like a sore thumb because a lot of people are not being themselves. They are not being authentic. They are under the influence of other people instead of choosing their own path. But you have an inability to hide your true interests and feelings and it is written all over your face. It is clear what you are feeling because when you are being authentic people can read you like an open book. It is easy for them to know what you are thinking because you wear your heart and your sleeve. You make your feelings and emotions obvious rather than hiding them because that is just you being you. You show your intimate emotions in an honest and open manner and the narcissist will pick up on that and in the beginning it may seem as though we respect and appreciate your authenticity but then they will turn against it because it will reflect badly on them. It will only cause them to realize that they are inauthentic because they have to manipulate and deceive you. So then their objective will be to erase your identity and authenticity to turn you into something else because it tells them that if they have the ability to change you by tenting and enticing you into doing something that you wouldn't normally do then that means that you were never real anyway because if you were real then they wouldn't have had the power or ability to do that because narcissists don't take accountability for their actions they will lead you to your demise and then they will stand back and say that you did it all on your own which is why it is very important for you to preserve your self-identity because they will try to change you. You need to enforce strong boundaries. You need to recognize where you end and they begin. You need to know who you are. You need to develop your confidence in your own qualities and abilities. You need to practice self-love and self-care because the very things that they discourage you from doing are the very things that are actually your greatest offense against narcissists and what they're trying to do to you and what they're trying to do to you is make you do the opposite of what you're already doing. They're trying to crush your resistance. They're trying to rob you of your innocence. They're trying to make you conform to their standards and ideals. They're trying to make you accept standards that are lower than what you would normally accept and they're trying to destroy your authenticity or make you think that you're inauthentic because of what these things reflect back to them. It triggers them. It makes them reflect of their own insecurities and efficiencies. It makes them feel like desperate and moral corrupt and inauthentic people who will accept and tolerate anything which is exactly what they are because they have no values or moral compass but they will assign these traits to you so that they can feel better about themselves so that they can maintain their false image because no matter how wonderful of a person you are the narcissist will always choose their false self over you. If they didn't do that they wouldn't even be a narcissist. Thank you for watching. If you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up, share your thoughts in the comment section, hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications. If you would like to support the channel you can donate at paypal.me.narc-surviver. You can book a one-on-one with me on my website. It's NARC Survivor at the Cudde UK. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.