 Schlitz Brewing Company of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, presents the Halls of Ivy, starring Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Coleman. I was curious. I tasted it. Now I know why Schlitz is the largest selling beer in America. No wonder it's the beer that made Milwaukee famous. If you like good beer, you'll find it pays to be curious and learn about Schlitz for yourself. Welcome once more to Ivy, Ivy College that is in the town of Ivy, USA. It's an exceptionally warm, lazy, hazy Saturday morning. Most of the college staff members who live on faculty roll are using the sun and their free time to excellent advantage. Professor Quinn Cannon is trimming a hedge. Professor Warren is transplanting some flowering quints. Professor Heath Slip is weeding his lawn. And Dr. William Todd Hunter Hall, Ivy's president, is upstairs in his bedroom asleep. Now his English ex-actress wife, Victoria, cautiously enters the room. Toddy. Toddy. You awake? What did I say? You said you weren't awake. You may consider that statement as absolutely correct. I'm not awake. Then what were you lying there giggling for? I have just been deprived of what might have been the most interesting dream. What was your dream? It's a personal question, I know. But you were smiling so contentedly just before you woke up that I was a little suspicious. Your suspicions have completely justified, my dear. As I remember, I was standing on a verdant hillside, basking in the warmth of the sun. When I glanced up and saw the witching provocative maid with flaxen hair advancing towards me with an armful of flux. The brazen, has he? What happened then? Then disaster. I was awakened. That's a good thing. I will not tolerate my husband dreaming of other women. Other women? Well, Vicky, my darling, the maid in my dream was you. And what a delightful picture you made. And that flux. Where did you get that flux? Where did I get that flux and hair? That's so tall is the question. The witch I refuse to answer on the grounds that it is unfair, unethical, and because I have no answer. Now, why do you come stealing into my room to rob me of my slumber, my flower? Well, don't you remember, it's D-Day. Vicky, it is not D-Day. That was yesterday. I know, I know. But you have a big red ring around today's date. And it right below it is written, remember, another D-Day, start early. I made that notation. With it in your handwriting? Must be a forgery. That start early phrase is completely out of character for me. I don't like to start things early. I temperize, delay, fidget, procrastinate, and then do things in a rush at the last minute, muttering that I work best under pressure. Which I don't, of course. At what time is it? It's almost nine. D-Day. Dedication, D-Day. Victoria, is there any special function going on at the college today? One that I might have forgotten? No, dear, I'm quite sure there isn't. Well, there's no point in worrying about it. The word probably didn't mean anything. D-Day. When's my next appointment for the dentist? Next week. That's good. How's the weather? It couldn't be more perfect, yet, which reminds me, I wish Mr. Weatherby called. He asked if he could go by a little later this morning. Weatherby? I told him you'd be delighted to see him. That was a gross untruth. I'll see him, but I refuse to be delighted. Did he happen to say who he is and what he wants? He's the father of Philip Weatherby, one of the students. He's up here visiting his son, and I think he just wants to see you. All right, Vicki, I think I'll have breakfast. Well, God, it's much too nice a day to sleep. That is a fallacy. There is no day so nice that sleep isn't nicer. Yes, today I shall take mine ease in my name to quote Loosley from Shakespeare, who must be quite used to it by now. As of now, I have completely amputated ambition from my schedule. D-Day. The doctor declines to disturb his day with drudgery. A combination of words that start with D and go with D. Oh, Toddy, forget it. I thought you weren't going to worry over that notation. No, I'm not worried. I'm curious. I wonder if it might concern a donation. Well, isn't it early for callers? It's probably Mr. Weatherby. If it is, do you want to see him alone? Look what heavens know, I don't want to see him at all. But if I must, I do. Let me see. Derby Day. Diabolical Day. Democrat's Day. Yes, Mr. Weatherby. How do you do so? It's a pleasure. Will you have some coffee? No, thanks. I'm a farmer, Mrs. Hall. Early to rise, early to eat. I hope this isn't too early to call. No, indeed, Mr. Weatherby. I am an early riser myself. I wanted to speak to you about my son if you can spare me the time. Plenty of time, Mr. Weatherby. Come into my study. You'll be more comfortable there. I thought just about winds up the story, doctor. It wasn't easy to give Philip a proper education, and all I want is for him to amount to something. Is that too much to ask for a son? No, I wouldn't say so. It's a rather common request among parents. As far as I'm concerned, doctor, it's more than a request. It's a demand. Philip has a good mind, and I won't allow him to let you rock while he breaks his back on a farm. Well, son, fairly agile-minded men have been farmers. Abram Lincoln, for instance. Abe Lincoln was also a lawyer, doctor. Philip is studying law. That's a real profession. Farming isn't a profession. It's an obsession. Even if you want to escape, you can't. It's got you, doctor. Ah, but look at what it gives in return. It gives you about six feet of itself for a final resting place. I don't want it for Philip, do you see? Oh, yes, Mr. Weatherby. You see, and it must have taken great determination for you to have labored hard at the work you loathed to give your boy an education. Well, I'm not complaining about that, but you see, he sent me a wire, doctor. That's why I'm here. Oh? He said he had something to tell me. When I got here, he said everything was all right after all and for me to forget. Well, then I would advise you to do just that, Mr. Weatherby. No. No, something is wrong, doctor. I know my son. Sharon Gold? Yes, he asked me to say goodbye to you, darling, which I will now do with a kiss, thereby exceeding my instructions quite agreeably. There. Well, thank you, Mr. Weatherby. Vicky, do you know Philip Weatherby? Has he ever been here at the house? Not that I know of, why? Something is evidently troubling the boy and his father can't get at the bottom of it. I told him I would see Philip and if possible, fed it down the difficulty. Will you remind me, Mundy? I make a note of it now. This is D-Day. We'll make Mundy W-Day for Weatherby. That's right. You know, Victoria, sometimes it frightens me when I think of the sacrifices parents make to put their young through school. Now, this man digs down in the soil. He... Vicky. What is it? The soil. That's it. How could I have forgotten? Today is D-Day. Dahlia Day. Today is the day I plant my Dahlia bulbs. What are you? Of course, me. Dahlia Day is an old custom in the whole family. It dates way back to last year. Now, let me see. I believe the bulbs are down in the cellar. I thought you were going to rest today. My dear Victoria, the good fresh air, the thud of spade against sod, the pungent odor of newly turned earth. These things all provide their own form of relaxation. A likely story. Ah, yes. It does it man good to work outdoors. It gives him a chance to breathe, to develop muscles, to develop backache. It takes a great deal of time and care to do this job right. No half measures. No cutting corners. That's right, no cutting. Oh. Now what? Young Wetherby. I just remembered who he is. Philip Wetherby cut his last class yesterday. Monday he's going to be expelled. Oh, no. Yes. Apparently, Farmer Wetherby has just had a crop failure. I was curious. I tasted it. Now I know why Schlitz is the largest selling beer in America. No wonder it's the beer that made Milwaukee famous. We'll return to the halls of Ivy, starring Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Coleman in just a moment. But first, let's hear how a man whose job is to find out about things for the people found out something for himself. I'm a research man with a large organization. One of those fellows who asks people questions to find out the why of things. As you might suspect, I'm not given to snap judgments. A few weeks ago, I had my first bottle of Schlitz beer at a social gathering. My immediate reaction was, here's the finest beer I've ever tasted. And I believe I've heard someone say that Schlitz is the largest selling beer in the country. However, professional experiences made me wary of first impressions. And I'm not one to be swayed by impressive statements. So I decided the proper thing to do was to purchase a case of Schlitz beer and conduct a thorough test using myself as the subject. I did just that. I tried Schlitz while reading in the evening. After a round of golf with a bedtime snack and in my backyard hammock while considering whether or not to mow the lawn. I have now finished my test and have evaluated the results. I've also finished that first case and have ordered a second. I believe that I can say without reservation, no wonder Schlitz is the largest selling beer in America. No wonder Schlitz is the beer that made Milwaukee famous. Let's surround us here to do... Well, we find Dr. and Mrs. Hall out in their own backyard, busily engaged in affairs of the soil. There. That should be enough for the trowel. Now, Vicky, do you have a ruler? You don't need one, Doctor. You're every inch a gardener. There you are. Thank you. Don't be facetious young lady. The serious business. We Dahlia growers take a great deal of pride in our work. Dahlia growing is a man's hobby. A woman just doesn't understand the... Maybe not. But a woman's hobby is man, especially when that man is her husband. And most especially when he's been kneeling on the damp ground for over an hour in an attitude of prayer, which will probably be answered with arthritis, rheumatism, housemaid need. Vicky, please, please, please. Just why have you been pouring over that hole? This hole, as you call it, is the aperture where the tuber rests. It should be no more, no less, than six inches deep. Now, let's see by actual measurements just how closely I hit it. I'll take that ruler and we'll just... Dahlia, you ditch! That hole is exactly six inches. Oh, my dear, it's nothing. It merely takes a practised eye, a steady hand, and a... and a trowel with a six-inch blade. I'm proud of you. That's quite a trick. No, no, no. The trick is to repeat this gargantuan feet at several promptly spaced intervals. Do you mean you've got to dig some more? Well, certainly. This gaping earth wound is only sufficiently large for one tuber. I have four dozen. And Vicki, you do like them, don't you? Dahlia's? Well, I... William, I'm beginning to realise that this may well ruin what has been a perfect marriage, but I'm afraid that if one came up and threw itself at my feet, I couldn't call it by name. You mean that you're not familiar with this beautiful flower? So could it briefly, doctor? Yes, I'm not. Well, despite the fact that you've just committed a grammatical outrage by using a positive or the negative... Oh, should I have said yes? I am not. You're only making it worse, my darling. Let's talk about Dahlia's. Well, there are several thousand varieties to choose from. They grow in size from dwarfs to giant six-footers. They get impatient to take root at the first sign of maturity. They are heavy feeders and not the least bit fussy about the soil. Say, that's pretty good, doctor. What's this? Here I am, sir, over by the fence. Mind if I come in for a minute? Well, I... Not at all. Leave the gates over there. Oh, I don't need the gates. I'll just vault over. Hi, Mrs. Hall. Hi. Where did you come from? Oh, I was just going by. I saw you and Dr. Hall out here, and I was just curious. Doctor, do you mind if I ask, what are you doing? I'm planting Dahlia's, young man. On this side of the house? What's wrong with this side of the house? Is there some superstition about it? Like planting potatoes in the dark of the moon? Not enough sun. Dahlia's thrive on it. Now you take the other side of the house. I have no intention of taking the other side of the house. The soil is too poor. Well, you're Dahlia's. I'm of that opinion too. But if they were my Dahlia's, I'd plant them on the other side of the house. Indeed. If the soil isn't so good, you can fix that in a hurry. I can, can I? Sure. Just take a couple of handfuls of bone meal and work it into the ground. About two feet around the spot where each tuber will be planted ought to do it. Is that so? Sure. Come over here. I'll show you. See? Who takes care of this yard anyway? Have a garden now. It comes once a week. I wouldn't call them a gardener, Mrs. Hall. Look at the prunola of vulgaris. What are you going to do about that, doctor? Well, I... Victoria, suppose you tell the young man what we are going to do about the prunola of vulgaris. We're going to get rid of it. My wife is quite an authority on gardening matters. Yes, she is, doctor. I'm just surprised that she hasn't gotten on that gardener's tip. I'm surprised she hasn't had him do something about it. That's a killer weed. It'll choke out your lawn. It ought to be sprayed. Yes. I was just telling my husband he ought to go up. Victoria, yours may be just a chance, Laurel, but I would suggest that you rest on it, my dear. Maybe you're right. I think I will. Have you any more suggestions, young man? Well, I... No, I guess I've made too many already. Oh, not at all. You've been most helpful. And you appear to know a great deal about all this. Oh, I dabble around in it. I take care of a few yards in town. It gives me a chance to get my hands in the dirt. I like to make things grow. Someday I'd like to have my own farm. Oh, not a big one, just enough land to grow some fruit. Maybe some vegetables. Are you in the School of Agriculture, Mr... A weather bee, Mrs. Hall. Philip Weather Bee. No, not agriculture. I was in the School of Law. Don't understand, Philip, why you allowed yourself to get in this predicament. If you would discuss the matter with your faculty advisor, he could have approached your father. This situation could have been helped. I don't think so, Dr. Hall. Here, let's sit down in the shade while Mrs. Hall is getting us something to drink. Yes, much better. Now, why don't you think so? You don't know my father, Doctor. The minute I mention Ag School, he... Well, you just don't know. Well, I think I do know. Your father has his heart set on you becoming a lawyer. Isn't that right? Right. When I was a little boy, he used to introduce me as my son, the future lawyer. All my life, I've heard nothing but law. Well, he seemed to me to be a very sensible man. Do you know my dad, Doctor Hall? Yes, I do. He was here earlier today. He came because he was worried about you. Yes, sir, I know. How did he take the news? What news? About my getting the boot expelled. Oh, I would have told him myself, but I didn't have the nerve. Philip, I didn't tell your father. You didn't? Why not, Doctor? He'll have to know. Frankly, at the time he was here, the fact had slipped my mind. And, to be perfectly honest, I'm glad of it. You are? Yes, I... I think I see a way to solve this problem. If you're willing to take an entrance examination... To get back in law? No, thank you, Doctor. No, not in law. In the School of Agriculture. Are you willing? Am I? Oh, brother! In a sense, it would mean starting over. Do you think I mind that, Doctor Hall? Why, I... I... Oh, what's the use? It won't work. If I studied to be a farmer, it would kill my father. Well, perhaps I can do something, Philip, to persuade him. At any rate, I'll do my best. I'll call him right now. Go on, Doctor Hall. I won't listen to it. Well, I'm very sorry about that. It leaves me no other cause than to... to expel him. There are other schools, Doctor Hall. Yeah, that's quite true. However, Philip's marks will hardly serve as a passport into any school. There are standards. He can be tutored. This agriculture stuff is just some crazy kid idea that... he's going to be a lawyer. Mr. Weatherby, I've been in what you might call the education business for a long time. I've seen, literally, thousands of youngsters suddenly come to a realization that they are headed the wrong way and then make new starts. Your son, Philip, is one of them. One of the lucky ones. One who has, as they say in the ministry, heard the call. I think your son is a dedicated man. I doubt if you can erase the dedication. If I don't, it won't be because I didn't make a stab at it. He thinks farming is high adventure, romantic. I've tried it, and I know he's wrong. I missed out. I don't want him to. Would you care to explain how you missed out, Mr. Weatherby? Mrs. Hall, you're sitting near the bookcase. I notice you've got several bound volumes of Ivy annuals. Is there one there that includes the annual of 1920? Well, yes, I believe there is. Wait, wait, I look to be positive, but I can tell you definitely in a minute. Yes, yes. Here it is, 1920. Would you mind turning to page 263? Not at all. There. I got it. Those snapshots were taken in my freshman year at Ivy. Look down at the bottom of the page, Mrs. Hall, at the middle snapshot. Would you mind reading the caption under the picture? See, here it says, Weatherby Weatherby is more fun than Tom Sawyer, but we doubt that he'll ever be a lawyer. Well, I didn't realize. You won't find my picture among the graduates. During my sophomore year, I left school by academic request. Mr. Weatherby, surely you're not going to force your son into a profession he despises simply because you made a mistake. Dr. Hall, just because Philip has been wasting his time. You have been wasting Philip's time, Mr. Weatherby. It's the same thing as if my father had forced me to be a veterinarian simply because he had always wanted to be one. Now you're being ridiculous, doctor. I can't imagine you as anything but a professor or a college president. Can't you? Here, look, look. Here we are. We read this, Victoria, the caption under this picture. William T. Hall, he'll get there yet. But horse is alive, he ain't no vet. It's a bit ungrammatical, I'll admit, but... But Dr. Hall, you are a vet? Well, that would have been a terrible mistake. Exactly, Mr. Weatherby. Thousands of animals probably owe their lives to the fact that I took up teaching. Do you see my point about Philip? Well, I... Yes. I think maybe I do. I think maybe I do. It's a very comfortable chair, darling, and I am perfectly all right. Not even a broken back from burying that one poor unhappy tuber. No, no, no, I'm fine. Don't worry. William? Yes, dear? Did you really take that veteran... veteran... that horse course? I remember you're telling me about it before. I've been sitting here thinking, aren't the verses under those annual pictures simply awful? That doesn't answer my question. My question? Toddy, no. Very well. I did not take a veterinary course. That's possibly why I never mentioned it. That's a picture! That was my cousin. William, William T, T for Terence Hall. Oh, you are a fraud! Not at all. If you recall, my dear, I didn't say that I had studied to be a vet. Mr. Weatherby nearly jumped to that happy conclusion. Jumped? He was pushed. No, no, no. No, no, no. For the first time in his life, I found my cousin Terence to be useful. I might go so far as to say that I accomplished a difficult task by a relatively simple device. Terence Hall being one of my simpler relatives. All's well that ends in the School of Agriculture, or to that effect. I'm glad for young Philip. Yes, although just between the two of us, I can't understand his choice. Why, Dr. Hall, I'm surprised this morning you've spoken glowing terms of working a great outdoors. Oh, that was this morning. Since then, I've had painful reasons to change my mind. Now it comes out. Yes, my dear. You can get outside tomorrow and loosen up again. Aren't you going to plant another daily bulb? Well, to put it briefly, my dear, and to quote an old friend, yes, I'm not. Let those who will be garden lovers while William sleeps beneath the covers. I tasted it. Now I know why Schlitz is the largest selling beer in America. No wonder it's the beer that made Milwaukee famous. And here again are Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Coleman. Good night, everyone. Good night. Let us picture champagne for Caesar. We'll be seeing you next week at this time at the Hall of Divinity starring Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Coleman. Here's where Bill Thompson is, Mr. Weatherby, and Conrad Benion as Philip. Tonight's script was written by Cameron Blake and Don Quinn. Our music was composed and conducted by Henry Russell. Here's exciting news for Ivy fans. There's a grand story about Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Coleman and the Halls of Ivy in Look Magazine, now on the newsstands. The Halls of Ivy was created by Don Quinn, directed by Nat Wolfe, and presented by the Jaws of Schlitz Brewing Company of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Coming up, it's the Great Gilder Sleeve on NBC. Thank you.