 Saturday excuse my voice I'm still getting over this cold but today is actually the first day of the agriculture fair and I'm not gonna lie I feel a little sad and disappointed because I worked so hard to accomplish everything just for this weekend and I have to sit it out I know I probably mentioned in our last clip or video that I would still try and set up and have one of my sisters work at my table but it just wasn't working out like everybody in my fun is really busy right now my younger sister has a boot selling food my parents has a boot selling food and then my two other sisters are actually helping me with the boys who are also sick and to try and get them to do that plus then for me would be a lot not only a lot to ask for but it still wouldn't have come together how it needed to from being sick on Wednesday and then giving birth Thursday I didn't even get to accomplish the finishing touches such as putting on my labels and so forth so I would have literally had to rush and do all of that yesterday which I had intentions on doing but as y'all could see like my body has had it I can't do anything else and I had to listen to my body and also relying on anyone else to do it for me would just be putting more added pressure on them so I just decided that instead of trying to stress myself out or anybody else I'll just sit this one out and I know it was the best decision but it doesn't change the fact that like you was doing all of this just for this weekend and and then like yesterday when my mother went down to the Agfair to check out their boot she passed by my tent assignment and they assigned me like not not just the worst spot but like the worst tent like the outside of the tent was all rested inside was rested like it looked so horrible like someone that was on a waiting list to get a spot in the Agfair was assigned a way better tent than me and my tent was paid for since February so all of that into consideration I was just like this is just a sign to sit your ass down not literally but yeah literally so I was just like I'm not I'm not gonna do it like I can't even it's not even like I could go down there and put up some drapes and some sides and some flowers and like just to make it look nice and presentable despite the rust but I can't do any of that and everybody else is too busy to do it for me so I'm not gonna put my stuff out there and present it in a tacky way so I just decided to sit it out but I am still sad about it because like Agfair is once a year like this was just like the perfect relaunch the perfect time to get exposure for my business and let me not say perfect I have to really watch the words that I use because words sound and power but it was a great opportunity and I'm just a little sad about it it could be postpartum hormones I don't know but I am sad when you put so much effort and time into something and then you just have to sit down and just let it go sometimes it's hard you know and I don't want nobody to think that I'm being ungrateful because I'm grateful because my baby is healthy and I'm healthy and you know given the circumstances things could have been a lot worse so I am grateful but as my therapist said I should also acknowledge the feelings that I have instead of trying to push them to the side and bury them so I'm acknowledging that I feel sad right now and it won't last but that's just how I feel right now I didn't come down here to cry trust me I don't do that but it's just a lot I'm processing mentally I think I'm just gonna have to stay off of social media for the next three days because seeing everybody's beautiful setup and beautiful tent even a friend of mine who also makes products her setup is so beautiful her tent is so beautiful this is not shade this is actually admiration and you know it was just seeing my vision come to light like I was really looking forward to that and I can't do that right now I'm just gonna end this video and I'm just thankful for the woman that has been surrounding me right now during this time because they always put so much positive energy in my way and I'm actually waiting for one to come over soon and I know when she comes I'll feel better because she'll know exactly what to say but I'm just home alone with the baby right now and I am grateful yeah I'm grateful don't think that I'm not I'm grateful I'm just sad as well for now but I'll be better anyways I don't even know what I'm gonna do with this video I don't know I don't know if I'm gonna post it I don't know I'm just if I just need some time to vent but I hope everyone's having a great day and I hope that if you did or are going out to the Agriculture Fair that you support the local farmers please please support yes please support the local farmers emphasis on local local okay please support the local farmers and all the local businesses and especially people who do this work all on their own like those small business owners stop by even if you're not buying anything like stop by check out what they have take their business card you know take a picture of this stuff post it share it like there's other ways to support even if you can't maybe afford to buy anything in the moment so support your local business owners your local farmers to all my melanated women protect your room by any means necessary and to everyone watching protect your peace by any means necessary I wish you all love and prosperity and you'll see me in my next video