 Lux presents Hollywood. Lux Radio Theatre brings you Lana Turner and Lionel Barrymore in The Devil and Miss Joan. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. Cecil B. DeMille. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. The first audience to behold Lionel Barrymore on the stage saw a chubby little cherub who could be eloquent even when he said goo. Like all his family, he grew up with the theatre, but the screen grew up with him, and today it would be a very dismal screen without those crusty old characters that Lionel Barrymore endows with life, language and a heart of gold. Nor could the screen get along without the beauty and talent of stars like Lana Turner, who just finished its picture at Johnny Eager at Federal Golden Mayor. And tonight, as Miss Jones, she plays the glamorous half of The Devil and Miss Jones, directed from an RKO motion picture. As the wealthy JP Merrick, Lionel Barrymore goes to work in his own department store under an assumed name to find out why his employees don't love him. His investigation leads directly to a wedding, the best proof that this is not a dull document full of social significance, but a delightful story about some charming people. Somebody once observed that a good story makes the whole world one, but it never ceases to surprise and delight me how much of the world is brought together for one hour by our plays here in the Lux Radio Theatre. Some more evidence of this has just come in. A letter, slightly frostbitten, from a defense outpost in far off Labrador, where incidentally they use Lux Turlet soap. We're just mechanics doing a war job, the writer says, but even in snowbound Labrador, the home of mountains, bays, plateaus and Christmas trees, we hear the Lux Radio Theatre on a small portable radio. And you'll be interested to know that one of the first necessities we ran into on our arrival here was Lux Turlet soap. So we're sending you the wrapper from the first cake we used. The Lux soap wrapper was signed by ten men and dated Goose Bay Labrador, Christmas Eve. We salute these gallant gentlemen now and wish we could send them a little California sunshine. Now here's the devil and Miss Jones, starring Lionel Barrymore as JP Merrick and Lana Turner as Mary Jones. The curtain goes up for the first act. JP Merrick is one of the richest men in the world. This is nice work if you can get it, and JP has had it for 50 years. He's the controlling voice of 30 great corporations. His fingers wrinkle in a hundred financial pies all over the country. But now one of these pies is turning slightly moldy. The morning paper carries the screaming headlines, richest man in world hanged in effigy outside his own store on 38th Street. In Mr. Merrick's living room, his four financial advisors have come to give their advice. They are all great brains, but they're shaking in their boots. As Mr. Merrick enters, the quartet jumps nervously to its feet. Good morning, JP. How are you, JP? Morning, JP. Good morning, JP. Don't mind. I suppose you gentlemen have seen the newspaper. Yes, we have, JP. Richest man in world hanged in effigy outside his own store on 38th Street. Picture on page six. I thought I sold everything below 38th Street years ago. Oh, that store's right on 38th Street, JP, so we kept it. It's the Neely Department Store. Look at this picture. That dummy doesn't look like me. Maybe it's supposed to be one of you. I don't think so. There's a sign on the dummy with your name on it. Where? Here, see, M-E-R-R. That's all you can see. Those people there are in the way. What are those things on my head? I believe they're supposed to be horns, JP. Horns? And that's things that tail. What's been done about all this? Well, we've had a talk with the manager of the department store. He fired the ringleader and half a dozen employees who participated in it. Isn't that all? Well, have this picture enlarged and everybody in it fired. An excellent suggestion, JP. This is temporary, JP. Our detective will ferret out the whole thing in no time. What detective? We have a man who's an expert. He's just outside, JP. If you care to speak to him, he'll show you this is a simple little disturbance that really has no significance. Boston Tea Party was a little disturbance, too. I want to talk to this detective. Good day, gentlemen. Good day, JP. George, send that detective in here. Is this way, please, Mr. Higgins? This is Mr. Higgins, Mr. Medic. All right, George. My breakfast. Yes, sir. Sit down, Mr.... Sit down. Thank you, sir. What did you say your name was? Higgins. Thomas Higgins, sir. Well, what progress have you made, Higgins? I've gotten a job in the store. Nobody in the whole store knows I'm a detective except the personnel head. He gave me a card. Here it is. And if you would make a concern, Thomas Higgins is employed in the confidential capacity and is accountable only to me. Signed Arthur W. Davis personnel head. You see, sir, I'm a salesman in the children's shoe department. That's the hotbed, that whole big floor. Your breakfast, Mr. Medic. Would you have the grand crackers individually or shall I crumple them in the milks? Individual. Yes, sir. No, no, crumple them for a change. Yes, sir. Tell me, Higgins, how soon could you find out who these employees are? They're the troublemakers. Not more than two or three weeks. Why not two or three days? Well, I've got to worm my way into their confidence. Become one of them. Well, how do I know what they'll do in the next two or three weeks? I'm not going to hang from every lamppost in the city while you worm your way into their confidence. Is there anybody you suspect yet? Well, I hadn't really started. I thought I'd begin day after tomorrow. Well, what's that? My wife's having a baby in Philadelphia. That's where I live. I thought I'd go home tomorrow. Mr. Higgins, I don't think you ought to be separated from your wife while you're having a baby. I'll get someone else with this assignment. That's very considerate of you, Mr. Merrick, but I... That's nothing at all. I'll just keep this card for the next fellow. Good day. I'm very grateful for your kindness, Mr. Merrick. It's perfectly all right. Go back to Poughkeepsie and forget about it. Poughkeepsie? Oh, yes, sir. Good day, sir. Baby. Mr. Merrick, sir, it's time for your pepsin. Dr. Schindler made it up into chewing gum. He thought you'd like to change. Look at this picture, George. They even got a tail on me. Look on the dummy and look at the faithful employees who are hanging me. Morons, sheep. No wonder you can convince them of anything. How I'd like to hear one of those troublemakers talking. I'd show them. I'd tell them. George, why shouldn't I? Of course. I'll get a job at the store. Mr. Merrick. Why not? I'd like to see him operate. But think of your stomach, sir. I'll be one of them. I'll mix in with them. Let them talk to me. Why, these idiots? I'll play with them like a cat in the mouth. Really, Mr. Merrick? George, from now on, my name is Thomas Higgins. Good morning, sir, and what can I do for you? Oh, are you the section manager? I am, sir, section manager of the shoe department at your service, sir. Well, I'm working here. I'm the new salesman. Oh, you are. Yes, I am. Well, let's see your slip. They gave you a slip, didn't they? Oh, yes. Yes, right here. So you're Higgins. Uh-huh. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Well, preferably yes, Mr. Hooper. Higgins, I've already had a report on you. In the intelligence test you took this morning, your rating was 66. That's one point over the lowest passing grade. 66? Why, there must be some mistake. You might have answered all the questions. You might have answered some of them wrong. That's possible, isn't it? I said that's possible, isn't it? Yes, it is. Yes, sir. We don't make mistakes, Higgins. Neelys is always right. This is the lowest intelligence rating in my department. I hope you have other qualities to compensate for it, for your own sake. Mr. Jones. Did you call me, Mr. Hooper? You heard me, didn't you? Oh, I'm sorry. I was just going to wait on a customer. Never mind. Mr. Jones, I'm assigning Higgins to slippers. Show him his duties. Well, welcome to the shoe department, Mr. Higgins. You can ride along with me. Thank you. I'll have my eye on you, Higgins. Just remember that. Yeah, you will, eh? Now, this will be your counter, Mr. Higgins. Bedroom, lounging, and house slippers. You know, this is really the best job. No bending down for triumph. No running back and forth for different models. Oh, gee, I wish I had this counter. You mean he doesn't think I'm good enough to sell shoes, is that it? Oh, don't be silly. You had to be more clever selling slippers than you do shoes. Don't forget, people can always do without slippers. They have to be convinced. How could he tell I'm not as good a salesman as the next one? Oh, now, don't be so touchy. You can sell shoes when you're ready for lunch. And you can show them then what a good salesman you are. Today, your lunch hour is from 12 to 1. Oh, that's in 30 minutes. Well, I'm not going to eat lunch. You're not? No, I'm going to stay here selling slippers. I'm going to make a good impression. Why aren't you going to have lunch? I'm not hungry. I never eat lunch anyway. Listen, don't try to kid me. There's only one reason why people don't eat. And I'm going to fix that right now. Here, you take this. Oh, what's this? 50 cents. Come on. Remember, I don't want your money. Oh, now you take it. No arguments. So you have to lunch, Mr. Higgins. Hmm. Would you mind attending to business, please? I'm trying to buy some slippers. Hey, listen, who do you think you're talking to? Yes, madam. Yes. What can I do for you, madam? Time for your lunch. I'll take over your counter. But I'm not hungry, really. Oh, why do you argue so much? You go to lunch and hurry up about it. I don't know where to go. I'll just go and sit in the park, I guess. Some people have an awful lot of pride, haven't they? Pride? Well... Oh, never mind. Did you sell anything yet? Yeah, let's see your book. One pair of men's house slippers, well, 98. Oh, that's fine. Say, did you have any trouble selling them? No, not at all. That's wonderful. You see, my feet started to hurt, so I thought I'd... Well, I needed a pair anyway. Mr. Higgins! You sold them to yourself? Isn't that allowed? Well, yes, of course, but... Uh-oh, look out. What's the matter? Don't look up, a shop is coming. A what? A store shopper. They pretend they're customers, but they're only testing you. I'll be careful how you act. Oh, may I help you, madam? That's all right. This gentleman will wait on me. Yes, ma'am. Go ahead. What can I do for you, madam? Do you sell slippers here? Oh, yes, ma'am. We do. These are slippers. That's what we call them slippers. They don't look very good. Oh, but they are. I wear a pair of these myself. Woolly woolly. They keep your feet nice and warm. Real sheep wool. Aren't they a little too warm for the summer? Well, we've never had any complaints from the sheep. I'll think about it. I hope you didn't mind my inconveniencing you without buying anything. Oh, of course not, madam. I'm only here to serve you. We serve everybody and anybody. Listen, are you chewing gum? Oh, me? Boy, no, ma'am. I'm a store shopper. Open your mouth. But, madam, I give you my word. Open your mouth. Well, ma'am, sir, did she really go? Huh? Close your mouth. Close your mouth. You swallowed it. No, ma'am. I wasn't chewing any. Well, see that you don't in the future. And don't lean on the counter either. Yes, ma'am. Nice work, pop. You didn't do bad at all. Thank you. Say, is swallowing gum bad for your stomach? Five o'clock. Oh, I thought this day would never end. You mean we can go home now? Yep. We're as free as the birds. Until 8.20 a.m. tomorrow. Employees! Who is that fella? Oh, it's Joe. He used to work here. Now he gets thrown out of the store every afternoon. Joe, listen to me. Look, I have a message for you. They fired some of us for asking for our rights. Call the detectives. Go ahead. Call the detectives, Mr. Hooper. Who cares? Is that Joe Person, a good friend of yours, Miss Jones? Joe? Joe's the greatest guy in the world. Hello, employees. Gather me the loudspeakers, please. Who's that? Mr. Allison, General Manager. He talks to us every day over the public addresses. Fellow employees, there was a disturbance on the fifth floor a moment ago, nothing more or less than trespassing on criminal offense. There are still some troublemakers employed in the store. We have not as yet carried it out, but we shall. And if employees are found cooperating with these traders in our one big happy family, I can tell you now they will not only be discharged, but blackballed from ever working in any department store in the city. And now may I wish you all a very good evening. Why, the big... Tell me, Mr. Higgins, are you doing anything tonight? Me? Oh, no, not especially. Well, you come with me. We're going to that meeting. Hey, Murray. Hello, honey. Glad you could make it all right. Oh, Joe, did they do anything to hit the store? Did they hurt you? Yeah, I dared him to. Oh, gee, I was so afraid they'd do something to it. Hey, who's this? Oh, well, he started in the store this morning. Oh, welcome, brother. Hello. Mr. Higgins, this is Joe O'Brien. He's the one who hung the dummy of J.P. Maggs. Oh, is that so? At the front page of the Times, that's all. Did you see it? Yes, I saw it. This is quite a pleasure, Mr. O'Brien. I like that. Come on, we're just about ready to start the meeting. All right, everybody. I say that some of you are here for the first time and you'd probably like to know more about us. We're not professional agitators. I myself started six years ago on the Neely department store as a packing boy and worked up to assistant section manager. Now, our quarrel is simple. We're given a small raise every year. Thanks. At the end of 10 or 15 years, when our salary is higher than a new employee's, we're let out. Now, this is regular practice of the store, mind you. It's probably good bookkeeping, but I think it's pretty unfair. Oh, well, may I have a rub, please? Sure. What's on your mind, Mary? Well, I'd like to show you a practical case of what we're fighting for, if I may. Certainly, Mary. Folks, this is Miss Jones of Children 2. Ladies and gentlemen, this gentleman sitting right here is Thomas Higgins. I'd like you to meet him. Oh, no, no, no. Please don't. How old are you, Mr. Higgins? Huh? Well, 55. Now, don't be nervous, Tom. He's 55. Look at him. He's bright and light. He has all his faculties. But now I'm going to tell you the rest of that picture. He came to work this morning and children's shoes without the few cents in his pocket he needed to buy lunch. Oh, and that isn't all. I gave him 50 cents. You know what he did with it? He kept it because he needed even that 50 cents more than he needed food, maybe for medicine, maybe for a place to sleep tonight. I don't know. I didn't ask him. I felt too ashamed for him. 55 years old and nothing to eat. By what kind fate he got a job today, I'll never know. But what's to become of him when they let him out? Oh, and he will be let out. He has been before. Haven't you come? Huh? Well, you see, I... There, of course. He's given everything he has. And yet now, grey-haired and friendless, he places another employer who will use him and then throw him aside for a younger man, leaving him insecure, homeless and with no one to turn to except charity in the poor house. Is that right? Is that fair? I'll leave it to you, ladies and gentlemen. What are we going to do? I know what we're going to do. We're all going to... Oh, stood up and cheered for me. What do you think of that, George? Very interesting, Mr. Merrick. Now, if you just put your feet in this hot water, sir, I'm sure they'll feel a little better. Those idiots making me one of them. I'll show them who hangs who. I'll hang every troublemaker in the place. Have you got those notes and telephone to you? Yes, sir. They are. One, intelligence tests out. May I ask why, sir? No, you may not. Yes, sir. Two, payback 50 cents to Miss Jones. Three, do something about section manager. Add another one. Shoppers out. Yes, shoppers out. You know, George, I didn't do so well selling things today. Really, sir? It's just a matter of luck or so. Yes, of course. But I'll fix that. What I want you to do is to find a little girl somewhere. Bring her to the shoe department at exactly 10 after 12 tomorrow. Well, well, well, sit down, sir. Is there anything I can do for you, sir? Mr. Merrick, I don't feel at all comfortable. Ah, sit down, sit down. And what would you like today, sir? I thought I'd buy some shoes for my little girl. Shoes for the little girl? Yes, sir. Hello there, little girl. Won't you be seated? Okay. Thank you, little girl. George, I want you to buy a dozen pair of shoes. A dozen? Oh, I think that's too many, sir. They'll get suspicious. You think so? Yes, sir. Well, all right, then. Half a dozen, but no less. No, sir, half a dozen. And what size does the little girl wear? Well, um... One and a half I wear. Oh, one and a half. Thank you. I'll be right back. One and a half. Tom. Tom, Mr. Hooper's watching you. Oh, he is. There you go. Now, this is your chance. Don't be nervous. I'm not nervous. Well, what size do you want? I'll help you. One and a half. Oh, here you are. Now, don't be nervous. Is this the hardest shoe to sell? What's the hardest shoe to get rid of in the whole stock? The hardest? Yes. Well, we've got some high tops right here that haven't moved for years. Oh, and there's a 25-cent bonus for each pair you sell. Fine. Those are the ones I want. How many of these high tops have we got in stock? Five. Oh, that's too bad. I could have sold six. Oh, I wish you'd just try and sell the ordinary shoes. You're making trouble for yourself. Ah, don't be silly. Just watch, that's all. Well, good luck, Tom. Hey, now, little girl, here we are. Just slip your foot in, please. I don't like that shoe. Come, come now. Put your foot in the shoe, Sally. I don't want it. I don't like it. Put your foot in. I don't like it. Get away from me, you big dope. Oh, George, where did you get this bra? Well, she belongs to the upstairs maid, sir. If she doesn't stop yelling, there's going to be another upstairs maid. Stop yelling, dear. I won't. I don't like it. I don't care whether you like it or not. Yeah, let's not argue, little girl. Let go of my foot. Let go. I'll kick you. Sally, dear, you mustn't kick the gentleman. Listen, get your foot in there. Get it in, dear, here. No, I won't. I won't. You hear me? Now listen to me, you little... No, no. What is all this? Mr. Higgins, you're not chewing a horse, you know. Oh, hopa, this little brat, this little girl. Quiet. I'll take care of this. Now, little lady, just look what I've got for you. A lollipop. Gimme. There you are. Now, sir, do you want these shoes? Yes, I'd like half a dozen pairs, please. Fine, fine. Mr. Higgins, there's someone at your slipper counter. I'll take care of this customer. Well, I've got these soles. There's someone at your slipper counter. Now go on. Don't lose confidence in yourself, Tom. You could have sold him just as well. He only butted in because he wanted to get the bonus. I don't remember when I've disliked anyone as heartily as I do him. And I've disliked quite a few people in my time. To their misfortune. Oh, you just forget all about it. I'm an elephant, Miss Jones. A veritable elephant. I never forget a good deed done to me or an ill one. Well, you mustn't say anything to Mr. Hooper about it. He can tie the can to you, you know. What can? Tie the can to you, get you fired. Now promise me you won't say anything to him. Promise? All right, I won't say anything. Tom, do you know what would be very clever if you'd go over right now and thank him for helping you out? Thank him? Well, you want to keep this job, don't you? You're in no position to be independent. Now go on over. Go on. Well, very well. Be nice now. Oh, Mr. Hooper. Yes. Mr. Hooper. Well. I wanted to say about that sail. Yes, you've got quite away with children, Higgin. They certainly take to you like a duck to water. Hot water. Well, I probably couldn't have handled it as well as you. As well as me. You couldn't handle it at all. I made that sail. Oh, I don't know. I have a hunch those shoes are coming back. My sails never come back. Is that so? You wouldn't want to bet, would you? Certainly. How much? Oh, make it easy on yourself. How much can you afford? Oh, I can manage to scrape together a little something. Would $10 be too much? Make it 20. I'd be lucky if I get the 10. I'll say so. And if you want to bet any more, brother, I'll give you odds. Mr. DeMille and our stars, Lana Turner and Lionel Barrymore, will bring us Act Two of the Devil and Miss Jones. Today, all of us are being asked to conserve, to guard against unnecessary waste, which is why that resourceful lady in charge of the family shopping list says... I check my list carefully these days to be sure everything on it says quality. Because I've found that quality goes further. Really gives you the most for your money. We're proud to observe, madam, that Luck's toilet soap is prominent on that shopping list of yours. Luck's toilet soap. Now, there's a perfect example of what I mean. It's a comfort to feel I can get the utmost in value in toilet soap and keep the family happy, too, because I know what they like. Here's the way my husband feels about Luck's soap. Me, for a soap that lavish fast, doesn't get mushy or soft, makes my morning shower 100% success. And my daughter's a real Luck's girl. I'm pretty busy these days, but you can bet I don't neglect my complexion. No reason to when it takes such a few minutes to give myself a Luck's soap beauty facial. I just pat that active lather in, rinse with warm water, finish with a dash of cool, and pat with a soft towel to dry. The lather's so creamy and rich, it feels as if I were smoothing beauty in. It's nice to be able to enjoy luxury and still not be extravagant. That's what I think every time I unwrap a certainly smooth cake of Luck's soap. I love its fragrance, too. And you'll find, too, that Luck's soap is luxury and thrift combined. Only the finest ingredients are used to make it. So fine that Luck's toilet soap is the chosen complexion soap of 9 out of 10 lovely screen stars. Luck's soap is hard milled. That means the firm smooth cake lasts right down to the thinnest sliver. The delicate perfume is a blend of 34 costly ingredients. But because many millions of cakes are sold each year, this fragrant white soap costs you only a few pennies. Yes, American housewives can be thrifty and still give their families the finest in toilet soaps. To prove it for yourself, buy some Luck's toilet soap tomorrow. Buy at the economical three cakes at a time way. We pause now for station identification. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System. Two of the Devil and Miss Jones. starring Lionel Barramore as J.P. Merrick and Lana Turner as Mary Jones. It's almost a week since J.P. Merrick went to work as a shoe salesman in his own store. He's finding out a great many things. Principally that selling shoes is hard on the feet. Once again in his living room, he immerses those tired members in a pan of hot water. It's very interesting, George, my little experiment. I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, sir. I watched the little ants scurrying around and I know that each and every one's going to get his just desserts. I'm sure they are. Now that Joe, that Mary's fellow, bad, an evil influence on the girl, kind of Sven Garley corrupting her whole viewpoint. I'm going to break that up tomorrow. Tomorrow? Tomorrow's Sunday, sir. Yeah, that's right. They invited me to go along on a sort of picnic or something. A picnic? You, sir? To the beach. I'm supposed to bring something. I said I'd bring a bottle of wine, but they don't think I will because I haven't the money. Well, we will get along the wine, sir, George. Yes, sir. Hey, George, what's the best bottle in the whole place? I'd say the Romani Conti, 1903. Good. Rather, sir. There were only 24 bottles in the world originally. You bought 12 and the Royal Family had the other 12. Well, that's it. Go on down and get it. But take the label off the bottle. I don't want them to be suspicious. Label off the bottle, sir. Mom, you shouldn't have spent your money for wine. Oh, well, you only live once. Here, Joe, try that. Okay? Here's looking at you. Skull? Well, how is it? Don't you like it? Well, I'll tell you, Tom, it's not really bad. Tom, did you spend more than 50 cents for this wine? 50 cents? Oh, Tom, they saw you coming. Who saw me coming? You mean you don't like this wine? See, I've got a good mind to return it and make them give you your money back. Yeah, they're nervous on people. Wait a minute. Now you're not giving this wine a fair chance. Here, I've got an idea. I'll pass you the cup, Mary. What are you doing with that wine? I'm gonna mix it with 7-Up. Maybe that'll kill the taste. I hear, Mary. Try this. That wine is... Awful. Well, I guess you just can't save it. Oh, it's a shame, really. Too bad we had to ruin that bottle of 7-Up, too. 4-Up, Tom, it might make you sick. Yeah, I'm sick. Wine expert. Well, I'm going in for a swim. How about it, Tom? No, thanks. Now don't show up and swim way out, Joe. Nobody will be watching you. Just you, honey. Well, don't forget to come back. Don't worry. Nothing will happen to him. Don't you like him? What makes you say that? Well, I was watching you in the bus coming down, and, see, I thought you were making faces at him. Well, my feet were hurting me. Yes, but you're really not crazy about him. No. Are you? Oh, sure. I think he's marvelous. I don't think you're any judge. Well, who's a better one? Any outsider. Me, for instance. Now look around. There's a couple over there. They think they were made for each other. He's biting her ear. Now she's biting his ear. It's very touching. I think so. They found each other, haven't they? Out of this whole wide world, these two were lucky enough to come together. But don't you think if she hadn't met him, there'd be someone else biting her ear now? And don't you think he wouldn't be at some other girl's ear? Maybe, but it doesn't prove anything. Scientists can write all the books they like about love being a trap of nature. But the only one scientists are going to convince are other scientists, not women in love. Oh, I don't say Joe is the greatest guy that ever lived. But you see, I'm not the greatest girl in the world either. I wouldn't be surprised if the greatest love affair in the world was between a, well, a funny-looking guy and a girl who's missing two front teeth. If they feel it, they feel it. You? Not in the way you see in the movies or hear in those songs. You know, the touch of your hand and you set me on fire. I guess I'm not the combustible type. We get along just average, I guess. But if I knew I'd never see him again... Well, yes. Well, I never even thought of how it would be like not to see him anymore. I guess that's a test of it. But if I thought I'd never see him again, I don't think I'd care if I lived or died. Another swim? Uh-uh. Well, it's getting pretty late. Maybe we better wake Tom up and go home. Oh, let's let him sleep a little longer. He must be awfully tired. Say, have you watched what he's been eating? He acts like a guy that's just discovered his stomach. I don't think a goat could put that stuff away. But I feel sorry for him. Say, do you know he's never been married? So? Well, so it's a shame. Oh, he must be very lonely. If you haven't got someone that really cares for you, you're all alone. You're one person against the world unless you have someone. And it's only half as hard. At least you're two against the world. So you both starve together instead of starving alone? Oh, Joe, don't let yourself get depressed. It's all over, Mary. We've lost. What do you mean, we've lost? 400 employees' names out of a possible 2,500. Now can you blame blacklists and store detectives? I don't see how we got 400. But maybe we gave it more time, Joe. Time? We've had a year already. It's no go, Mary. I know it. Let the poor suckers who are working at least keep their jobs. Oh, Joe, if you could only reach all of them. Yeah, if, if, sure. Oh, Mary, I want to talk to you. I meant to do it when I brought you home, and I guess now is as good a time as any. I can't get a job in New York. Mary, I, I can't see you anymore for a while. What do you mean? I can't take up your time anymore. Well, is that what you call our relationship? Taking up my time? Well, I haven't got the right to take up your time, is what I'm trying to tell you. Well, I think you might ask my opinion about that. Well, what are your plans, Joe? What do you want to do? Go out of town? I'll go with you. Gee, that's not such a terrible thing to ask. Oh, Mary. But I'd love to if you want me. Oh, I, I wish you'd marry me just like it is. I'm not afraid. Oh, woman, never afraid. How long do you think you'd be in love with me, living off of your salary? Oh, there's nothing to be ashamed of if you can't help it. Not to you, but it is to me. I can't be in love under these conditions. I couldn't go away obligating you to wait for me. Well, that, that's very considerate of you at least. Well, maybe I hope you'd wait for me. But you're young and attractive. You've got a whole life ahead of you. Go out and meet people and have a good time. Who knows you might get interested in somebody wonderful. Yeah, yeah, that's what someone was telling me recently. That's what nature does, let you get interested in other people. Well, then I don't promise to wait for you, because that'll make you happy. But you're nothing but a coward. What? Sure, if all you're carried, you can't even face life. You're afraid to get married because you might not be able to get a job. Not me I'm worried about. I'm not going to get locked up in a whole bedroom watching you iron my shirts and nobody's going to make you... Oh, nobody's going to make you do anything. Go on, go out of town, go anyplace you like. Oh, Mary, no. Right now you can go on home. Go on, unless you're afraid of the dark. Listen, don't you, Tom? Huh? Oh, yes, yes, yes. But maybe I'd better see that you get home all right. Don't worry about me. Anyway, that's Joe's job. I'm sorry you had a fight. How did you know? Well, I wasn't asleep all the time. Oh? It's going to turn out all right. You mean a sixth sense? No, I'm very unusual. I've got a sixth and a seventh. Oh, you really shouldn't drink. Tom, it isn't good for you. You can't get drunk on what I drank. Wine and seven up. Oh, Tom, you're a swell guy. I like you. You do, eh? Well, that's fine. But I wonder if you'd like the real me. Oh, now, don't tell me you've got hidden depth. Well, a man may not be everything he appears to be on the surface, you know. What do you mean? Well, nothing. Seventy-second street next. Seventy-second? Well, here's my stop. So long, Tom. So long. Oh, well, be careful going down those steps. I will. See you in the store. Yeah, see you in the store. Get in the store. Get in the store. Step lively, please. Take your time, sir. Oh, Tom. Tom, you dropped something. W. Davis Personnel had Nealey's department. Confidential. Confidential capacity. In Act 3 of The Devil and Miss Jones. Now, let's drop in for a moment at the college house party. It's the big Saturday night dance. Gosh, Mary, it's swell dancing with you. That is, it would be if some of those other fellows would stop cutting in. Oh, hey, Joe, give me a break, will ya? Mary's my girl, isn't she? Poor Jim. Well, it's no good protesting. Mary's a luxe girl, so she's bound to be popular. Yes, popularity and romance just seem to follow the girl with lovely skin. You know, there's something about a smooth, flower-fresh complexion that attracts admiring eyes and makes hearts beat faster. Now, every girl wants the kind of skin that says romance, so why not let Hollywood's famous complexion care help you to have it? Luxe toilet soap, you know, is used regularly by nine out of ten beautiful screen stars for their million-dollar complexions. This fine white soap has active lather that removes stale cosmetics and every trace of dust and dirt. Lather so rich and creamy that it seems to caress your skin. Try Hollywood's active lather facial tonight. Lovely Loretta Young tells you what to do when she says... I pass the creamy luxe soap lather in, rinse with warm water and then a dash of cool. I pat my face gently to dry with a towel. Now, when I touch my skin, it feels so exquisitely smooth. Why not get three cakes of luxe toilet soap tomorrow and try Loretta Young's beauty facial for 30 days. See what this gentle, protecting care will do for you. And remember, it's true what this famous star says. There's always romance in soft, smooth skin. Now, our producer, Mr. DeMille. The curtain rises on the third act of the devil and Miss Jones. Harry has just discovered that Thomas Higgins is a spy for the nearly department store. Her argument with Joe is forgotten now. And in her mind is a single thought to protect her friends. It's late at night when Joe arrives at her apartment. Oh, what's it all about? Oh, Joe. Do you remember that list of names? The 400 employees? Sure. Well, where is it? Have you got it? No, I gave it to Higgins. You gave it? When? Not at the beach. I had it there checking it up. When I went in for a swim, I stuck it under Higgins' toe. Oh, Joe. What's the matter? You can get it from him tomorrow. Oh, tomorrow's too late. Higgins is a spy for the store. Higgins is it. You're crazy. I am not. Look at this card. Thomas Higgins is employed in a confidential capacity and is accountable only to me, Arthur W. Davis personnel head. Let me see that. Well, there's no mistake. And he's got all those names. Where does he live? I'll get that list back tonight. Oh, I don't know. He got off the bus at 72nd Street. Oh, that's no help. Listen, tomorrow you get him in the stock room. I'll get that list. How are you going to get in the store? Don't worry how I'll get in the store. You get him in the stock room. See, and I'll join you. I'll get that list if I have to hit him over the head. Morning, Mr. Higgins. Good morning, Mr. Hooper. 10 o'clock. We're a little late this morning, aren't we? Oh, did you come late too? You are a little late this morning. Yes, I am. And why may I ask? Because I overslept. I was tired. Well, now, that's a novel excuse. Well, it's true. Higgins, I don't like your tone of voice. Hooper, I don't like yours either. Who do you think you're talking to? Just another employee of the store. That's all in a darn poor one of that. Do you know what's going to happen to you? You're going to be fired. I'm going to be fired. Yes. Well, let me tell you something. You're going to be fired. Now, how do you like that? Oh, Mr. Hooper. Yes, what is it? These shoes came back this morning. What shoes? Five pairs of high tops. It was your sale, wasn't it? Give me my $10, Hooper. Make those shoes to the desk. I'll attend to it later. Hey, where's my money? You owe me $10. Who gets back to your work? May I see you a minute? Oh, good morning, Mary. Say, what were you yelling at me last night on the bus? Oh, well, it wasn't very important. Mr. Higgins, would you be kind enough to assist me in the stock room? Certainly. Say, what's this Mr. Higgins' business? Well, it's right over this way, please. It won't take very long. What happens now? Well, you see all these boxes? Well, there's shoes in them. I figured that out the first day. Yes, yes. Well, there's been a lot of trouble in here lately. There should be a right shoe and a left shoe in each of these boxes. And, well, lately, there's been a right shoe with a right shoe. And there ought to be a left shoe with a left shoe. Huh? Well, that's that. Well, look, you just open heavy box and see that there's a right shoe and a left shoe in it. Every box, all of them? Yes, sir. You'd better start at the top of the ladder and work down. Huh? What are you going to do? Well, I'll just wait. What for? Well, tell you finish. Uh-huh. Well, here you go. I'll be down Saturday. Personally, I think this whole thing's a waste of time. Oh, no, no. After all, you can't sell people two left shoes. Can you? Yeah. Say, what are you so jumpy about anyway? Jumpy? Who's jumping me? Well, there's only the two of us in here. Oh, there isn't. There's three now. Joe. Hello, Joe. All right, Higgins, let's have that list. What list? You know what list? That list of names I wanted. Oh, that list. Come on, hand it over. Do you want to come up here, or do I have to come down there? Oh, listen, Higgins, I'm not going to stand for any puny business. Joe, Joe, not so loud. What's the matter with everyone? We know you, Higgins. You're a spy. I'll give you that list. There you go. You said he'd grab them. Joe, the detective. Okay, Joe, let's go. Take your hands off me. What is now? What is all this? Listen, get away from this ladder. I'm shaking if you don't stop this. Listen, listen, I can't hold on. Do you knock them off the ladder? Don't be silly. I'll leave it to you, Eddie. What do you say? Definitely pie-eyed. Everybody knows he's a heavy drinker. Listen, you can't get away with this. Come on, come on, all of you. Get this guy in his feet, Eddie. Up you go, pop. You must do pretty good, Higgins. You probably get a raise after they fire all these poor people. You Benedict Arnold in sheep's clothing? I'll show you who's a Benedict Arnold in sheep's clothing. You watch. I demand to be taken to the manager. Brother, you must be a mind reader, because that's just where you're going. I've been drinking, and if you weren't such a fool, you could see that for yourself. Just a moment, Higgins. Who do you think you're talking to? I'm talking to you, Mr. Allison, a fine manager you are. Can't you understand that dealing with people the way you do is the reason for this civil war around here? I've worked with these people. They have rights. Really? And what do you suggest? I suggest that you get a different job if you can't get the confidence of your employees. You bumble-witted idiot. Oh, Tom, this is wonderful what you're doing, and you'll never regret it. Let them fire you. As long as there's a breath in my body, you'll never go hungry. Calling me names isn't the solution. I'd like nothing better than to get the confidence of my employers. But who can I talk to? Who represents enough of these people? Would you consider 400 enough? Yes, I would. Well, there's our representative, Joe O'Brien. All right, where are your 400 names, Mr. O'Brien? Yeah, there's the catch. He wants the names. Well, you're not going to get them. You see? My hands are tied. Well, wait a minute. This isn't a trick, is it? Do I look like I'm lying to you? No, you don't. Murray, you can't give him those names. Listen, if there is a right way, this is it. We're not being fair to him. If we want him to trust us, we've got to trust him. Well, I'm against it. Well, look, I'm taking a big chance too, Joe. If this doesn't work out, let me try. All right, honey, go ahead. Tom, have you got the list of names? Yes, I have. Well, give it to Mr. Allison, please. Very well. Mr. Allison, it's going to be terrible if you fool those two young people. Let me have the list, please. Yeah. Thank you. You old fool, how dare you come into my office and talk to me like you did? I can outwit morons like you every day on the weekend twice on Sundays, which is why I sit behind the desk while you stand in front of me. What are you going to do? I'm going to fire everybody whose name is on this list. Give me back that paper. Give me, give me. Okay, Kara, this guy. Grab that list, Murray. Stop it, stop it, I say. Milligan. Get rid of it. Get rid of it. Here, Tom. Tom eats his paper. What? Detectives, detectives. You would eat it. Eat the paper. Hey, listen, I've got a weak stomach. Oh, well, here, I'll help you. You eat this part and I'll eat the rest. Oh, very well. Give me my portion. Milligan, Eddie. Mallie, lock the door. I'll meet your paper. Lock the door. Don't let anybody in. That list of names. I demand that you give it to me, Higgins. Where is it? Not before. The names of everybody on that list are I'll fire the entire fifth. Many people on the fifth floor have nothing to do with it. You can't do that. Every name or out they all go. Every one of them. Miss Poat. Yes, Mr. Allison. Make out discharge slips for everybody on the fifth floor. Yes, sir. Bring them to me and I'll sign them. Yes, sir. Well, now what do you think? That Mr. Allison was the lowest. Oh, Tom, don't argue. Joe, hand me that microphone. The one for the public address system. Get away from there. Give it to me, Tom. I'll speak to the fifth floor. I'll speak to the whole Neely Department Store. Hello. Everybody listen. Give me that microphone. Sit down, you. Listen, Abby. Picketing you, sir. I never thought it would end this way. I don't think you've seen the worst, sir. They've got the dummy with them. You mean with the horns? And the tail end in the brain, trust George. Yes, sir. And then go outside in that crowd and ask for a young fella by the name of Joe O'Brien and a girl named Mary Jones. Bring them back with you. In here, sir. In here, George. Very good, sir. Gentlemen, will you come in, please? Oh, thank you. Good evening, JP. Good evening, JP. How are you, JP? Bad business, JP. Good evening, gentlemen. I see you got safely through the picket line. Don't let this business excite you, JP. Oh, no, no, no. Certainly not. This is only temporary, JP. We'll have it under control. Are we going to call the police at once? No, you're not. Nobody's going to call anybody. I've sent for the ring leaders. They'll be here any minute. You're going to meet them? Certainly. JP, this is the wrong method. If you do this, JP, you'll be acting against our advice. I know. That's why I'm doing it. Mr. O'Brien and Miss Jones. Stop. Come in, Joe. Come in, Mary. Hey, what is this? What are you doing in here? We've been waiting for you outside. Say, how did you arrange it? Oh, it was very difficult. Sit down, Mary. I want you to meet the gentleman who were the real managers of the store. We've been having a little talk. Hiya. How did he meet you? Listen, that butler fella said Mr. Mary wanted us. Yes, Mary. Everything in its turn. Now, let's begin. Shall we? That's right. Let's begin. It suits me. We're ready. Above all, things let's remain calm. You know, Mr. O'Brien, you're not in a very good bargaining position. Maybe not, but the store's closed. Well, we're going to open it. Hey, stop that. We're going to remain calm. Yes, yes, sir. That's right, sir. Let's not raise our voices. Mr. O'Brien, what's your main issue? Well, it's not really much of a beef. Just a couple of people like Allison. They were moved out. I think everybody'd be a lot better off. I suppose you would be a much better manager. I think so, yes. Good. Perhaps the gentleman will let you try. What's that? That's the first point you gentlemen will have to give in on. But this is fantastic. Now, I protest against this particular idea. Sit down. Mr. O'Brien, there are going to be a few changes made in the store. I'm sure everything will be to your satisfaction and to the satisfaction of all faithful employees. I'm not going to go into details, but these gentlemen are really very agreeable when you know how to handle them. I can't believe it. You mean everything settled? Everything, my dear. Oh, Tom, you're marvelous. Here, let me kiss you. Now, wait a minute. Madam, have you gone mad? Leave him alone. Less than you. If she wants to kiss Higgins, this is that of yours. I'll call the police. Now, wait. Listen. Come in the other room. You let Higgins alone. Come along, Mr. Marek. Come on, Higgins. We'll leave right now. Let's go, Mr. Marek. Listen to me. Let me alone. Come, Mr. Marek. Stop pulling. Give him a safe walk and let me go. Come on, Higgins. Are you all right, Mr. Marek? What are you talking about? Who's Marek? Say, is everybody crazy around here? Well, evidently, you are, madam, if you don't know T.P. Marek. I can explain how it happened. Do you see? T.P. Marek. It's very simple. You see, Joe? You Joe? Joe, get some more water. Yes, I guess so. I'm still a little shaky. Say, where's Joe? He went outside to speak to the crowd. Oh, well, is everything still all right? Oh, Mr. Marek. Tom to my old friend. Well, okay, Tom. Come on. They want you out. It's better that way. They're going to pray down to Brian Parker. They want you at their head. Yes. Come on. I never know how this makes me feel. It's a problem solved by a little human kindness. And right now we asked Lana Turner and Lionel Barrymore to step forward for a curtain call. Thank you, CB. Joe, it makes me feel like a young man again to be here in a real theater. A lovely young lady like Lana Turner. Mr. Barrymore, when you were on the stage, did you play the same kind of parts you do now, or... Well, what I mean is, did you play romantic leads like your brother John? The radio comedians? Yes, I guess I did play some romantic parts, but not like John. I remember Lionel very well when he was playing romantic parts in New York. I was... Well, I remember it very well. You were doing what, Mr. DeMille? Oh, now I think you're covering something up. If he can't stand to say the words, I will. It was when CB was playing mushy romantic parts himself. I'm ruined. Well, just to save you embarrassment, I'll change the subject to something else, like complexion care, for instance. And that suggests luck soap. It does for me and for women all over the country. Now, I've used luck soap for several years, and I really think it's swell, Mr. DeMille. And we say the same to you, Lana. If luck soap weren't so white, it would blush with pride. And we're pretty proud of what we planned for next week, too. Thank you, Mr. DeMille. One of the most astonishing stories to come out of Hollywood this season, Lana. It's Columbia's hit motion picture. Here comes Mr. Jordan. And our star will be Cary Grant. And from the original cast of the picture, we'll have Claude Reigns and Evelyn Keyes. Cary Grant plays a prize fighter who starts a thrilling trail of adventure by getting killed. At least everyone but himself thinks he's killed. The rest of the play is a strange compound of romance, comedy and drama that means enjoyment in any theater. Well, here comes Mr. Jordan. And here goes Mr. Barrymore. Good night, C.B. Good night. Good night. Good night. Our stage draw is right open to you. Ladies and gentlemen, last Friday night on a rough Nevada mountainside, a gallant lady died. Here in Hollywood, her gay spirit and bright courage will be long remembered. Like the gallant soldiers and civilians who died with her, she was serving her country. And that will be her memorial. Bonsers, the makers of Luxe toilet soap, join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday night. When the Luxe Radio Theater presents Cary Grant, Claude Reigns and Evelyn Keyes, and here comes Mr. Jordan. This is Cecil B. DeMille saying good night to you from Hollywood. Ladies and gentlemen, the Treasury Department has a plane and important message to bring to all the people. It is this. We can all help to win the war. The one sure way we can help, the one way to put whatever strength we have into this fight is to lend our money to Uncle Sam by buying defense bonds and stamps. Every dollar will go at once to build the anti-aircraft guns, the bombers, and the battleships that will wipe out the Axis Terror. Get defense bonds and stamps at your bank, post office, or savings and loan association tomorrow and every payday hereafter. Lana Turner and Lionel Barrymore appeared tonight through the courtesy of Metro Golden Mayor Studios. Mr. Barrymore will soon be seen in Dr. Kildare's victory. Heard in tonight's play where Frederick Mackay as Joe, Ferdinand Munier as George, Arthur Q. Bryan as Hooper, Leo Cleary as Allison, and Victor Rotman for Nefelton, Frank Penny, Edward Marr, Boyd Davis, Bruce Payne, Charles Seal, Eva McVeigh, Stephanie Toller, and Betty Ventura. Tune in next Monday night to hear Kerry Grant in Here Comes Mr. Jordan with Claude Reigns and Evelyn Keys from the original cast of the picture. Our music was directed by Louis Silvers and your announcer has been Melville Roig.