 I want to remember what I'd like to live again. What's up guys? Rafe Derrazy here. Today is Saturday, September 14th, and I was, you know, on my phone looking at my news apps, which I haven't actually done in a very long time. So it was a coincidence that I was looking through my apps and I was going through BBC and then I stumbled upon a really cool article. And it was just laying out the fact that Garrett Thomas, who is a British retired rugby player, just came out today as being HIV positive. I think there were rumors for a while that someone in the sports arena in Great Britain had HIV and that this person for the time being had chosen to remain anonymous. But now it looks like that has been cleared up and this person is Garrett Thomas and he made an emotional confession on video. And I'm going to go ahead and show that to you now. The reason I'm doing this is because firstly, I want to remember what I'd like to live again. I want to remember what I'd like to feel free. And by doing that, I want to empower so many other people who are in exactly the same position as me. I'm probably 10 times worse to be able to feel free as well. And to do that, I have to educate myself. I have to be strong. I have to be at the end of it, a completely different person to the person I am now. I think what I want to learn more than anything, more than anything, what I want to learn is that I got HIV and it's okay. That's what I want to learn more than anything. So as you can see a very emotional, heartfelt, moving confession, it's something that I can relate to very deeply and I'm sure a lot of you who are also living with HIV or know people that are living with HIV can understand just the depth and complexity of emotions that he was communicating in that video. And my heart goes out to him. I'm so, I just feel a sense of pride. I'm so proud that someone, such a high profile figure was willing to come forward and share such a personal thing because it is scary and there is stigma and fear and judgment that happens. And, but as you guys know, like it's so important to me also that we override that fear and focus on the good and trying to destroy stigma. And the only way that we can do that is by being available, by being open and honest about who we are, about our situations and just advocating in that respect, just by acknowledging publicly that we have HIV is a huge form of advocacy. So I'm so proud and I'm so excited to see that and I'm so happy that we have another person who can be a positive, no pun intended role model and example for the rest of us. Cause right now he's representing millions of us and so it's gonna be so informative for so many people who don't know anything about it and feel like that they don't have any kind of close connection to anybody with HIV. People who look up to sports players are gonna be able to glean something from that. He actually came out as gay in 2009. So he already was overcoming personal fears and stigma with being gay. And it was, as he said, he wanted to overcome that fear and also feel like he could be himself and be free and not have to worry about what other people think or hiding who he is and stuff like that. So I think being that strong of a person and being able to do that as far as being gay is definitely something that gave him enough momentum and with the strength of character that he already obviously has so apparent was able to thrust him and give him enough force movement forward to be able to come out as HIV positive. So Garrett Thomas, you are the man. Thank you so much for doing that. That means so much to me and I'm sure it means so much to so many people around the world. You are the man. I just have to say it again. You're the fucking man. Thank you, man. That's awesome. I was reading some of these articles online about things that he said about living with HIV. I don't know if that video was originally longer or if he just said things on the side to individual reporters but he was quoted as saying when I first found out that I was gonna have to live with HIV, the first thing I thought was straight away I was gonna die. That's exactly what I thought when I found out in 2012 I thought I was gonna be dead in two, three years. I was like, okay, this is it. From here on out, I'm just gonna get sicker and sicker and I'm gonna be in a hospital bed for the majority of the time and this is it. So like immediately I was like, okay, let's come to terms. We gotta make the most of whatever life I have left and forget everything else and it just wasn't true. It was so the opposite of the truth and that speaks to how little representation there is and how much more education we need, how much work there is to be done around HIV that we're still living in the mindset of the 80s and that we gotta catch up. We're now 2019, like it's time to change our minds and our perception of this virus. Another thing he added was the overriding question that everybody said to me, the first question everyone says to me when I tell them I'm living with HIV is are you gonna be okay? And it's a really compassionate question to ask but this is meant in the nicest way possible. It's a really uneducated question and that is to say that if you actually understand HIV, you understand the advancements that we've made and the progress and the medication and how much we can live with this chronic manageable condition, you wouldn't even need to ask the question, are you going to be okay? I think that was his point. It's not to be mean and it's not to blame someone for not knowing better but it's just, again, another indicator of how far we need to go, how much education we need to push out into the world, into society and so once again, I'm just like so excited that he did that and I'm so happy about it and yes, yes, yes, yes. Anyway, that's all I have for you guys today. I just wanted to share that and get that out there for you so you could see it and be inspired and motivated and have hope because it's fucking awesome. All right, I'll see you guys soon.