 How many people do you need to ruin your life? Yeah. Just one. Welcome to another episode of Mental Wealth TV. I'm Emmy Golding, Director of Psychology at the WMA Chi. And I'm Peter Diaz, CEO. And today we're talking about psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists, and master manipulators. Yes, we are. Peter, why do you think this topic has been so interesting to people lately? Well, it's been very popular because I think people are on stage after almost two years being at home, constant onslaught of the media, getting a lot of information that is contradictory. I think we are tired of being taken for a ride. I think that's not a new thing. All of us at some point have been manipulated and taken advantage of. I mean, I remember when I was 19, the first card that I bought, I was taken for a ride from the salesman. He basically sold me a second-hand car in good condition, apparently, according to what he said, but almost for the price of a new car. Wow. Yeah, it took me years to pay it off. So I know what it is like to be taken advantage of. That's not the only time. Many people can relate to that, though. You know, sometimes we think of narcissists in relationships only, but we're all a little bit narcissistic, to be honest. And we have to control it. Let's back up quick definition. What is a narcissist? Well, a narcissist, basically, is a person that is really obsessed with themselves. It's all about me, me, me, me, me. Which we kind of all are, to a degree. We are. We are the center of our own world. So it's normal, it's human to think of myself more than I think of other people. What if we miss the opportunity to be kind and compassionate and to think of others, to be considerate and empathetic? Then we have missed the richness of the human experience, plus we also become a little bit of a... An asshole, you know, we call it. We want to avoid that aspect of things. So being with a narcissist, it's not pleasant because you end up giving all the time and never getting anything back. So most of us would like to think that we could spot a narcissist, a psychopath, the manipulator coming, that we wouldn't fall for that. You know, other people fall for that, but not me. It's a kind of misconception. Yeah, I know. It's not true. A really good psychopath, you can't see them coming. They will make you feel really special. Yeah. They will make you feel like you are at the center of the world. They will change their likes, what they do, how they dress. They're really good ones. You will think that they're really kind and loving because they're changing themselves for you. It could be the first time that you really feel seen with a really good confidence person, a con man or a con woman. That's what it means, where it comes from, yeah. Narcissism and psychopathy belongs to both genders. Yes, yeah. I would say there are more psychopaths that are male, but there are more narcissists that are female. See, that's interesting because a lot of the focus out there is the other way around. Narcissistic men is kind of the image that's portrayed out there, but it does work both ways, you're right. Sometimes the last person to realize that there is a narcissist is the narcissist themselves. So when you're a narcissist, sometimes you don't even know that you're being a narcissist until somebody tells you. You know what I think has helped create this big focus on it at the moment? I have to keep coming back to social media. I mean, when you look at posting your whole life online in your feed for the whole world to see what I had for breakfast, where I went today, what I did today, it kind of creates that environment, you're posting the photos of myself, look at me, you know. I'm not so old as you think, you kind of think. We as a society, as people, as social animals, we could be making the behavior of the psychopath, the sociopath and the narcissist worse because we seem to be interested in what they do. So it's good that we recognize who they are. So we can watch Aaron behavior so we don't feed their psychopathy. We don't feed their sociopathy. We don't feed the narcissism. And we can protect ourselves at the same time and that's why the course was put together. So people could become aware of those strategies that are being used so you can look after yourself and spot it coming before you find yourself in the midst of the problems that it can create. What kind of problems have you seen it create when people aren't aware of those strategies that are being used against them? First of all, you're in danger because you don't know the level of psychopathy of this person if you're feeling that you're being taken advantage of. A lot of people that feel that they're being taken advantage of are actually doing the taking advantage of other people. It's the other way around. It's the other way around. So an immature person will always think that everything happens to them and they're not aware of how they're doing. Go to someone you respect that doesn't tell you always what you wanna hear. Somebody that can talk to you freely and ask them, am I seeing this in the right way? If it is true, like we point out in our online course, the what is it called? Psychological self-defense course. We point out what the behaviors of a sociopath and a narcissist are and how you need to respond to each. So with a narcissist, it's very different than with a psychopath. A psychopath can be very, very dangerous because a psychopath doesn't care if you die. You know, most psychopaths won't kill you but some of them will. It's okay. They will not lose any sleep over it. So if you find a psychopath, you better know what to do because you need to find out, is my life in danger? Do I, can I stay around this person? How far do I need to run? So you need to do the course to understand that. If you're dealing with a narcissist, a narcissist is more about attention-seeking and sucking the life energy out of you. Oh, that's not quite so bad then. Well, it is bad but at a different level. Your life is not immediately in danger. What you have to be careful with a narcissist is that they can destroy your reputation very quickly. Once you spot those strategies, if you can stay away from it, great. But what are some tips for if you can't? In the presence of someone that is really dangerous like a psychopath, what should you do? Run. That's the first thing that you need to do, run. And if you can't run, be extremely respectful. Do not tell them that they're a psychopath. And do not tell them that you know that they're a psychopath. Be very careful. A threat study between 3% or 4% of the population can be psychopaths. Now, that doesn't sound like a lot, but that's higher than the threat from COVID. They are a threat to your physicality, but they're also a threat to your mental health. These are the kind of people that we call toxic. So if you're in a relationship with someone toxic, you need to know how to spot them and you need to know what to do with them and whether you should stick around. So this knowledge that we're talking about is of paramount importance. So we identify these people early on and we don't allow them to become the directors of our life because they love to tell you what to do. They love to dominate. And it's not necessarily about criticising them, it's just about preparing ourselves so that we're able to respond appropriately for our own wellbeing and our own mental health. Well, yes, to protect yourself is very important, but also to protect your children if you have them. Kids are prey to people with bad intentions. They need to learn which of those friends they shouldn't be associating with and which ones are telling what are they called? Porcupines. Porcupines. A little lice or big lice. They need to learn to have discernment around that. So we deal with those things in the course. Great course. I highly recommend it. Exactly. We recommend it. Go and check it out in our website, www.mmchire.com. There's a tab there for online courses and you will like it. Thank you. Talk soon. Hi, I'm Emmie Golding, Director of Psychology for the Workplace Mental Health Institute. We hope you liked the video. If you did, make sure to give it a thumbs up. We have more and more videos being released each week. So when you subscribe, you'll get a notification letting you know when a new one's just been published. So make sure to hit that subscribe button and don't miss out on this vital information for yourself, your colleagues and your loved ones.