 I'm live. I haven't been live in a very long time. This is weird. Yeah I'm using the natural microphone and I'm just going to listen to people to join because well company of other humans would be would be nice. It's really nice. Anyway my lipstick is... How's everyone doing? What's everyone up to? I'm sat alone. You might be able to see my hamster in that corner. How you doing? I haven't done live stream and I need to fix my lipstick. How's everyone doing? I'm just like, this feels so weird. I've hardly been filming. I learned on live streams so this is weird. Yeah I don't know. I kind of disappeared from the internet. I did just film a video that was like live update and I cried. What a shock. There's no shock. I think everyone knows I've got the emotional stability of a potato. I don't know why that's become my thing that's what I say now. How are you today? I'm alright. I can't say I've done an awful lot really. I've slept my desk out ish. It's about it. I didn't really lead an exciting life. I had no phone call with my university as well being doomed just to update my personal background because of being diabetic and if we go back to campus next year if I'm having a high go they need to know and they need to know what to do so I have to go through all of that which I didn't really enjoy. I don't like the constant reminder that I'm not record. It's horrible anyway. I literally hate the fact I have to inject into them. I can't not because if I don't then nino nino and I hate hospitals. I'm sick of hospitals. I hate them. I might seem a bit off. I started hell of a parallel last week and as you can imagine I'm still getting used to that because I've been on it for a week. Well a week and a half now but as you can imagine I'm a little shaky. Have your meds made you diabetic? Potentially. Potentially yes. I was originally diagnosed type 2 which not great but I could have dealt with that a lot better because you can treat it with meds. You can treat it with diet. I'm type 1 so I have to inject into them. I don't get a choice. I've literally got the penne everywhere. It's horrible. Potentially it could have been caused by the overdoses I've taken. The things I've done or even just taking certain medications and it's not easy to tolerate. It's not it's just I wouldn't wish it on anyone and then I had that change. I had some side med changes so I've changed sleep and tablet and I'm changing them to psychotic other women and it's just not been easy. My obsessive fizzy drink consumption did not cause me to have type 1 diabetes but for the record this is diet hope. I couldn't take it. I lasted a week on a long time being. It didn't work for me. I'm presuming it was it to you. I'm glad. No this is the big misunderstanding. Let's have a diabetic talk because people seem to be uneducated. You don't get type 1 diabetes through lifestyle. It is a consequence of your pancreas not producing insulin. If you want to take that up in my pancreas go for it. I'm drinking real well I would but I don't want to literally have a I've just smiled a hyper anyway. I'm not going to have high sugars. I don't even have that much in actually. It's something like what people don't see is the fact that I literally drink water all the time. The only reason I drink caffeine on really camera is because usually I feel like drinking it and I'm going to be really blunt. I don't drink that much caffeine in comparison. Hey guys I'm Yini lots of love, light and blessings. Thank you. How have you been? All right she's um she's doing a zoom thing in the bedroom so I'm on my computer and I'm out in the living room. I'm going to see Harriet somewhere in that cage. Do you find... Thank you Becca. I hope your zoom meeting's going okay. Do you find helipod on which you feel drowsy? Um actually no I find it it just relaxes me a lot. I'm not disanxious on that. It slows my thoughts down and it's stopped me having tactile hallucinations. Voices it is helping a bit but they've used up but it still happens but you know I've been on it for just over a week but this is that. I don't know you can probably tell I haven't had it here today. No I haven't. I literally got it ready to take and I just forgot it was there so yeah reliable memory. So the name put me having a dose now. I'll have my night dose. That was alright. Becca please please please stop saying that typhoon diabetes is anything to do with life cycle. It's not. If you want to take out my pancreas and tell it to make him see then be my guest. But um no typhoon diabetes is not caused by diet and I'm not being funny even if it was caused by that even if I was typed to if it was caused because of my sugary drink consumption that doesn't matter. That is that. That's my business. All I'm doing is saying that this is what's going on and this is what I've learned and blah blah blah. I'm not here to be told that pirates of the pancreas yes yes yes. I'm rick and molly all the way. Literally. I'm glad I haven't answered my own light on. My own light is very bright. Sorry you have to go through that. Sorry your dad's had to go through that as well. That's the thing. I have always had psychomads or any medication comes with side effects and lasting damage. I'm not an illusion that there isn't on their own option like it's not. They're just sometimes needed and the whole type one diagnosis is really what's triggered. What's triggered how I have them in it is the type one diagnosis. That's what's made fun to do is eating with a cage. Try to let the hamster out. It's a side effect that's been a problem for me. Yeah. I was on the Qatayvian for nearly two years and honestly it I mean yeah that's how short I am. I have to climb on the sofa. You should try DMT. Oh thank you. This is Harriet. She's my little pal. Yeah I say little. Kind of a big little hamster. Like she is bigger than she. Like we have another Syrian called Kara who is in the bedroom. This is Harriet and we did have five hamsters. We've only got four now because over the weekend Nibble died. I don't know if I'll actually cry. That's that cage there. I haven't been able to empty it yet. Yeah but this is Harriet. Get one of them on camera don't you? Yeah that's why her cage is so big. Harriet's she's really big. Like she doesn't she can't go in a ball because of um she's too long. So we've now got two Syrians and two Russian dwarfs and then obviously I had Nibble who was a rubber winsky hamster and yeah but this weekend was traumatic as hell but yeah I don't know I really don't know about that. That's okay but we've got Harriet. I'll get my little tear out under her. She likes playing. You're really too soft. Wow. Big softy. Big softy. Only fans. Definitely not. Definitely not. Definitely not. Not my kind of thing. How's Satsuma? I think he's okay. He's really annoying all day. When Becca goes to work he starts playing off and he just won't leave me alone. He literally sat loafing on my keyboard for an hour. I couldn't do anything. I went to call my laptop and he wouldn't sit on there. It was like oh okay. Then she stopped doing that. He's not in here. I think he's in a bottle. Not sure. I've got a hamster. She is huge. Are you a guinea pig secretly? She's getting all hypery. Oh chill. Chill. Chill. I'm having a really little baby. How old are you actually? I'm a big hamster. I'm gonna have to put it back in the cage. She's like, she's too much. I let her stand on the sofa to get in the cage as well. I'm so sure. Anyway, I'm out of the laundry room. I'm in the process of sorting out a loanee and oh I've got some really cool things for my switch. I'm planning on getting a pink case for her. I'm basically doing an entire pink desk shelf. My phone case is ridiculous. Has everyone been anywhere though? Like it's been so long since I did the live stream. I think the last time I did the live stream I thought I've been in a while. It's got to have been a while because I don't live stream when I live here. I hardly put in. I really don't. I really don't. The last time I went live was with Becca and I was like, was this at this flat or was this at the other flat? No, we don't know. The last time. Yeah, that was the last live stream. That one. I haven't been live since, um, yeah this is been a while. I don't know. I mean, I really wanted to get back into YouTube. Like I've been trying really hard but I don't know. I've just got like this anxiety around filming in a manner. I think a lot of it is because of, as you all know, the constant trolling of make-out that really does affect things. And that is why I don't upload it. It's been a pity that it's awful but it's a lot. Cats for the win. Cats for the win. No, I know I've made a lot of satsuma but I do love satsuma. If anyone doesn't know satsuma, satsuma is Becca's emotional support animal. He doesn't like being alone so whenever Becca goes out he comes by me. I don't actually know where he is. I think he's in the bathroom. Because we have heated flooring in the bathroom and he just lies on it and honestly, I would if I could. I don't want to have an answer either about the lack of heating in this flat. So yeah, that's fun. Sorry if I seem not really, I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel really downed out. I don't know why. The one side effect I can say at the help I've done, and I know it's that because I've never had this with anyone else, is it's made my vision worse than it normally is. So I normally, I should wear glasses or what I am and that's why I like that. I'm struggling to read and then you're on dyslexic. I don't think that's a secret. It's made my eyes like really bad. Like everything's glittery. So I have to keep like squinting to look. And I've got the, I've got a diabetic ice greening on the 28th of December. So that's fun. I've got a love burner. We've got a crappy electric heater that doesn't wear quality. I think we're paying like, we're paying like nearly a thousand a month for the flat loan and then it's bills. Um, yeah. Living out of, we live like, we live like zone, we live zone six. London wires. So there's like out of London. But it's still like a thousand a month. I haven't had a lot of tears just that no motivation, but everybody. Yeah. I mean, I do have motivation. Um, I think the main thing for me is I've literally just started out and the last time that I was on it, obviously I was on, I was on liquid form last time. And the liquid form, there is always going to be more side effects because it's a faster way to enter it. Whereas capture was a more slower release. Not, not too slow, but they're slower. And I think that's something that people need to be aware of and people should be told. Like I wasn't told that, but um, I am glad that my meds got changed. Um, so my sleeping table got changed as well. I think I mentioned this earlier. Um, I'm on ambient now. I used to be on Zoppy clone and I'd been on Zoppy clone for six years. Um, so a change was necessary and needed. So my GP changed it to ambient, which is Zoppy depth. And yeah, actually, yeah. Yeah. It's his job. It just knocks me clean out, right? Yeah. Oh, the other good thing, I don't say this, the other good thing that I'm happy about is I asked my psychiatrist a few months ago if I could start to come off the mudspam. She said, no, I spoke to her on Monday and she said, yes. So in the new year, I'm going to be off the mudspam, which is good. I want to be off it. I hate taking it. I don't like being slowed down. And um, yeah, I'm really happy about that because I've been asking for a while to come off of it. When she's like, well, no, you're not stable. You're not stable. You're not stable. I mean, I'm still not. But the way I put it, I was like, can I come off that and increase the hell of a paradox? Which hell of a paradox is a better alternative to a benzo any day. Um, I will quite happily do that. So what I'm doing is, well, if I reduce something, whether it's, because I'm coming off puts IPM. So that's getting decreased. And every time I get a steep crease, I'm adding zero point y of, of haloporadol. And then when I start with the Mazepam, we're going to switch it to Larazepam and lower it and we're going to increase the haloporadol again. I think the goal is to get me that's 10 milligrams a day, which it's going to take a while. I'm like, I take one milligram for the minute. And that's two doses. So it's going to take a while, but I just think, I hope it works. I really do. The other good thing about coming off of quit IPM is the obvious. Means I'm going to be able to lose weight again, which I'm happy about because the quit IPM did meant to put on like 20 kilograms. You should be pharmacist. I've been on psych meds for over 10 years now and I'm 23. So that's scary. I've been diagnosed with bipolar for 10 years. Quite scary, but like currently I take 30 in meds. I think, I think I'm on 30. I think on my repeat it's 30 in. I don't know. I can't remember. Honestly the only medication I will never ever, ever go back on is freaking, what's it called? My brain's gone blank. Well, I'll never go any more anti-pressant. Let me say that. And I will never go on to quit IPM again. Lesson learned. I literally can't remember what it was. I've, yeah, my brain's gone. I literally, zeroing out. Let me ring like this now. That's a bit loud. Sorry, my ring light is behind my computer. Yeah, I don't have any questions. I feel free to ask me under that. I don't mind that it's often asked like this. The only things that I find really uncomfortable to talk about is like just, you know, obvious things. Like mental health, like I don't mind medication. I don't care. Like I'll answer anything. With medication I had to learn a lot because for some reason I just never get told like the full impact that you can have. And obviously I'm like I'm learning to drive them out. Which matters. The good thing, that's the good thing about quit IPM. Hello, hello doesn't make me sleeping. It calms me down. I'm a lot less stressed. Failure might have much sleep in there, isn't it? Oh, I can relate to that. I really can. I wish I knew what to say. And I don't. I just lost a subscriber. Oh, that ring light. No, sorry. I hate the ring light. I don't like really bright things and ring lights. Surprisingly, really bright. If you would have guessed. Look at me, I'm drinking a bad drink. I want to do what I've... I don't know what I should be. That's pretty important. So someone earlier was like, maybe it's all that sugary drinks you drink. So, you know, whatever. You guys have literally said that I've really drank or eaten anything but I'm willing to bet this. I reckon that it's going to be seven or... I'll go for seven, between seven and nine. Oh, so not going to show this. Oh, shit. Okay, that's higher than I thought. Twelve. I'm just going to tip that off. Sorry. I don't want to show me injecting. Sorry, need the insulin. I'm going to try and set this up anyway. So, I put the needle on and I twist this round. You don't have to release two clicks. Oh, then I have to... you know what I mean? I'm just busy being diabetic. My own mistake. I literally had a few sips of the diet coke. It's fun of that every day. Well, multiple times a day. Anyway, back to back to Land of the Living. Shockingly. Shockingly, the diabetic that can't be... Shockingly, the type one diabetic can't be bothered. Who'd he ask? I literally hate this. Oh, that wasn't even... that wasn't my fucking intention. I thought I was going to be just in my good school. It wasn't... oopsie. Honestly, I think... didn't know. That is what it is. It's not diet controlled. Shockers can build up in the body and unfortunately, the reality is my body can't deal with that. So, I had to go now. Talk to you later. Talk to you later. I am probably going to go as feeling as well. Just because it's like half of it. I'm like... I am hungry. I'm not going to lie. I'm hungry. I'm just... joyous. But no, I want to say I exist. People... if you don't understand something, don't be afraid to ask, but also don't make assumptions. My assumptions are so fucking damaging. Even tonight, that won't come out. Maybe it's because you're diet. You don't get type 1 diabetes from diet. I'm sorry, you just don't. And anyone who believes that really needs to Google it. Diabetes is so much more than what you eat. It's how your body processes it. And I think it's really important to realise that, you know, some people just can't manage without medical help. It's, you know, I don't know. Yeah, I am, yeah. I think I'm gonna go and run up. I don't know. I just feel really on the edge and that one comment's really annoyed me. I'm not going to lie. It's just plain ignorant, actually. Well, let me swallow up to it. I'm actually gonna block that user. I hate this user. Sorry, I normally have moderators in this. I happen to like do both at the same time and it's no... I find it a bit sensitive. The message I deleted was, well, you're obsessive fizzy drink consumption. Honestly, I don't want to move this. I'm just not. And I think 37 minutes is a good place to leave. There'll be a new video out tomorrow giving an update of everything and then videos should return to normal. Thank you for learning me. Thank you for completing and if you're new, subscribe. I'm not always this boring. Why am? Well, yeah. Bye, everyone. Can you say goodbye? I'm gonna go now.