 I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man, and I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Yes, boys and girls, it's comic weekly time, and here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Pocs the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. Little Miss Sonny, how are you today? Oh, I'm just fine. You know what? What what? My new changes in the American Weekly magazine that we get with our son's paper. Well, good for you. And they all said that they thought the magazine was better than ever. That's what they said, huh? Mm-hmm. That's what they said, that it was better than ever. And my friends are saying the very same thing. They like the new colors, the pictures are being done in, and the new type, and even the change in the paper. They all like it. Well, it's like we said it's better than ever. Yes, I'm glad you think so. The American Weekly has always been a fine magazine, but the people who put it together wanted to make it better than ever. So I'm happy your father and mother agree that they have. Well, they do. Then everybody's happy. Yes, and then I'll be happy if you'll read me the funnies now. Pocs the Comic Weekly? Very well. I'll read that in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Pocs the Comic Weekly and on the first page, Hop along Cassidy. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Six guns blazing as he thunders along. Give us music for Hop along. Hoppy and his friends arrive at Buck Peter's Wyoming Ranch. But instead of a fine, well-kept rent, they discover a rundown place. Buck Peter's and his wife are nowhere around, and Hoppy can find no trace of it. He goes to the sheriff's office in Rimfire and discovers the two crooks who had stolen the deed to Buck Peter's property, wearing badges of the law. Hoppy faces them saying, I never expected to find you two posing as the law in Rimfire. You better start explaining why Buck Peter's and his wife haven't reached the rocking W. Our wagon party was to meet him there, and we found the place deserted. One of the crooks answers, Ah, that ranch has been empty ever since the law took it over for Texas. The town's never been able to sell it. Hoppy replies, My guess is you're trying to keep homesteaders off that spread. He goes on last picture top row. We found the remains of several partly burned property deeds. But if anything's happened to Buck and Rose, Rimfire's going to need a new sheriff and deputy. One of the crooks gets to his feet, gun in hand. Hey, this fool could be a troublemaker. Can't his guns brag? He'll never have a better chance to kill him in self defense. Hoppy backs up to the wall. The crooks close in on him. Hoppy reaches his hands over his head, and suddenly grabs a coat hook above his head and swings his feet forward, knocking the wind out of brag. As the second one reaches at him, Hoppy slugs him in the jaw. He drops to the floor like a limp sack. Out the door, Hoppy goes, nearly knocking down a richly dressed man outside the door. As Hoppy hurries away, the man steps in the door of the sheriff's office last picture and stops in astonishment, as he sees the two men lying unconscious on the floor. You bet he did. But one thing troubled me, Hoppy's a stranger there in Rimfire, and that man seeing Hoppy going out of the sheriff's office may think Hoppy's an outlaw. Well, those two crooks will be sure to tell him lots of lies about Hoppy. You can be sure of that. Oh, dear. That means more trouble for Hoppy. Well, we'll find out about that next week. Now? Oh, now I can see what Prince Balian is doing today. All right, let's go over the page and see if he's there. All right, said. Yes, there he is on page three, like you said. And last week, they baptized the babies, and they gave them their names, and I wonder what's going to happen this week. Well, let's read right now and find out. Here we go with Prince Balian to the days of King Arthur. Eckett, Wreckett, Tray, Malkin and Quince. Music romantic for a fair, fair Prince. In the first church to be built in fuel, the twins are christened, Valeta and Karen. They guess that the ceremony returned to their farming, their fighting, or raiding their neighbors, and all is at peace. When disturbing news comes from the south, the king seldom interferes with his people fight among themselves, but this trouble comes from across the border. And the king decides that an investigation should be made to find out exactly how dangerous the situation is. Last picture, top row, Prince Balian and Rufus Regan, glad to have a vacation from peace and contentment, tried forth to see what's happening. First picture, second row. When they reach the Trouble Valley, they hear a strange tale from the natives there. One morning we found our river dry, and when we tried to cross the border, to find the reason, our men drove us back. Now our flocks die at first, and our valley becomes a desert. After two days of cautious scouting, Bal and Rufus, first picture, bottom row, discover that the enemy has built a dam that holds the water on their side of the border. And where before was a huge and barren wasteland, there's now a lush green valley, as the life-giving water cuts a path through the land and irrigates the land so things may grow. Fences are being built, and houses. Last picture, Val says softly. So, may ruin one of our valleys to water one of their own. Well, we'll give them water. Those people that take the water away from the other people across from the valley there. No, it was not. But Val says they'll give them plenty of water. I wonder what he means. We'll find that out next week. Well, I hope it doesn't mean a lot of trouble because I saw a western movie one time, where someone dammed up a river, and then the cattle were thirsty, and the ground dry again, shooting guns, and people were killed and everything. Now, let's hope that nothing like that happens to Prince Valion. Now, let's see what we find next. Turn over the page, go past Jungle Jim, turn over that page, and go past Terry Mason and the Lone Ranger. And there, on page seven, is Donald Buckle. Oh, read that, please. All right, say the magic words with me, please. Squeeze, jump, squeeze, jump, squint, and tick-a-tack. Let's have music, you better quack, quack. Donald is on the phone talking to his girlfriend, David. He's saying, Yeah, yeah, that's right, that's right. I'm getting culture, culture. Oh, it works for him, Donald. I'm going to be an artist as soon as I finish the book. Wow, all right. I'll be over, except when you progress. Donald sits down to read his book on culture, which he's sure will make him smart enough to be a very fine artist. And then he starts to paint a painting. Last picture, top row, as he paints, he first puts in a light bulb, then a patch of sky, then a house roof, and then another house roof upside down. And then the sun at the bottom of the picture. And then he dabs in a few other colors of paint here and there. Then first picture, bottom row, he says, Wow, finish. Here's his doorbell, ring, he opens the door. It's his girlfriend, Daisy. Hi, Donald, how's the culture coming? Why, I just finished my first lecture. Donald shows her the painting. After Daisy looks at it a minute, Donald says, Ah, your fracker takes a little top fling off my back. Daisy says, Well, yeah, uh, just a small detail. I'll take this brush and, um, he takes the brush and makes a few strokes, and then says, last picture, best, you're all best. Donald looks at his painting and sees that she has written the word top and bottom on the painting. So people will know which way to look at it. And Donald goes, I don't think it does either. Not the way Donald did it. I need to become a good artist. You bet it does. The wonderful thing, though, to become an artist, if you have the patience. Yes, I love to paint. Yes, I think the colors are nice, too. And it's so interesting what you can do with it. Yes, it is, isn't it? Yes. Well, now I'm sure you would like to read Dagwood and Burnley. Oh, I'm sure, I'm sure. Very well then, let's pick up the first page of the second section. And the colors are so nice. And here we go with Dagwood and Blondie. But I'm a fool, I'm a fun-dim-dim-zombie. Come to me, music, for Dagwood and Blondie. Saturday noon, down at the office, Dagwood puts on his coat, ready to go home. He says to Mr. Dithers, are you going to work all Saturday afternoon? Mr. Dithers says angrily. Yes, I'm just the boss. Dagwood decides to say no more, and he hurries to the door. Just as he gets to the door, Dithers smiles, pretty lucky for you. They get this beautiful spring afternoon off, to just roll around your house. Last picture top row, Dagwood comes up to step to the house. Thousands of kids inside are creating mayhem, tearing the place apart. Sounds like a riot. Dagwood opens the door and steps in first picture second row, and is attacked by 30 kids who leap on him, and feed him up. Dagwood greets. And turns around and dashes out of the house. I forgot Cookie was having a party today. He's a bus coming down the street, dashes after it, leaps for it, catches it last picture second row. Back to the peaceful quiet of the office for me. Oh, kid, look down, meet a TV. First picture third row, he comes into the office and smiles at Mr. Dithers. Dithers drops to his knees and kisses Dagwood's hand. Oh, Dagwood, dear boy, you are a jewel indeed to come back to their office to help me. As Dagwood goes to a stack of paper at the desk, Dithers says, nothing to distract, nothing to disturb us. We'll accomplish one does this afternoon. Yes, I'm going to enjoy it. Just in the door open. Dithers' wife comes in, last picture, first row. You hit. Mrs. Mappy and I were going shopping together this afternoon, but her baby sister didn't show up. First picture, bottom row, in comes Mrs. Mappy and her four children. Four ugly little things with fierce looks on their faces. Mrs. Dithers says, I suggest that she leave her little darling here while we shop. Mrs. Mappy says, I'll tell you the regular day, so baby should be. Mrs. Mappy plops her baby on the desk and out the door the women go. Dagwood takes one look at the kids and then starts climbing out the window. Dithers grabs him by the foot. I come back, your bum said, don't exhaust me when I need your most. And last picture, Dagwood's on the floor tied up while the kids pull his hair, shooted it with flingshots and popcorn, and the baby smears ink and sticky lollipop all over him. And Dagwood shouts. Dithers sticks his head in the door and says, stop complaining, bum said. You're getting 50 cents an hour for it. Yes, I'm afraid what Dagwood should have done was to join the Navy, gotten a submarine and gone down under the water. It's the only way he could have gotten away from children that day. All right, I will in just a moment, but first here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Now here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly and on the first page of the second section, Roy Rogers, King of the Cowboys. Magic words for the music room. Very well, my lady. Ah, yip-a-yo. Now here we go with Roy and Trigger. Ah, yip-a-yo. The girl Nadine, who said she was looking for a job as school mistress, and the man named Doane had been brought to Chubby's ranch by Roy and Chubby. When they arrived there, Chubby's blacksmith Tenpenny tells them he's caught a stranger who is snooping around the place and has tied him up in the stable. What Roy doesn't know is that the man was goucho and that the girl and Doane and goucho are working together in an attempt to rob Chubby. When the men get to the stable, they find the croaker flipped away. At the foot of the pole where he was tied, they find a bolo, the weapon used by goucho. Roy tells the men to search the thread while he searches the stable. In first picture, he climbs to the haylock. As he sticks his head through the trap door, he's hit on the head by goucho. See, poor goucho, a pity I must use the wrong end of my gun for fear of making too much noise. Goucho pulls Roy up into the haylock saying, Hey, lucky for you, my boss and your derby hate rob stuff. He used his brains to find out where Chubby walled and hide his goal. That last picture, top row, goucho looks out the big door the hails hauled through. He sees Doane standing outside. He grabs a rope and starts to slide down saying, Hey, saying you're derby, I thought you went with the others. Don't replies. And quiet, you porny vaquero. Bring your burglar tools to Nadine's room. We'll hide you till they stop hunting for you. A short time later, first picture bottom row, Roy, who has regained consciousness, comes out of the stable. He sees Tenpenny and Chubby Walden coming back. Roy says, Hey, that slippery rascal got away, Chubby. I have hunches after your gold wherever you hide it. Chubby answers. Why, it's not here, Roy. Right under everyone's nose, where it makes it plum difficult to climb. As they walk toward the house, Chubby tells Roy, Yes, sir, every do-bad in the place has made a gold for my mind. Thanks to Tenpenny's skill at the forge. Tenpenny says, Yeah, go, Roy. Camouflage with paint. Roy exclaims, Well, that's interesting. But with a thief loose, we better see if the school teacher's safe. Meanwhile, inside the house, Done has brought Goucho to the dean's room and tells her she has to hide Goucho there. Now, Dean doesn't like to look at things. He says she doesn't want to hide him. Tenpenny does a knock on the door. Done whispers to the dean, Now, shut up. Goucho stays till dark, and then we start looking for the gold again. Quickly, Goucho hides himself with a huge chest in the room. Last picture, Done runs for the window and knocks over a statue. Roy, outside the door, Roy, outside the door, calls. Hey, Miss Drake, are you okay? What's that noise? The dean answers, Oh, I'm all right, Roy. I just knocked over a statue. And then she says to herself, Goodness, that sounded heavy. I wonder. What do you think she's thinking? Well, I think gold. I am afraid of that myself. Oh, I hope Roy catches Goucho and Done before she has a chance to tell those crooks where the gold is. We'll find that out next week, but now let's go over the page. Oh, look, there's Flash Gordon, and I'm so anxious to read this, because you remember, Flash had been captured by the giants on the planet Rhea. Yes, and he had captured one of the rocket ships and was hoping to escape to Earth. But it didn't work, because his ship was captured and he was brought back before the king of the giants to be punished. And then some of the giants caught the smallpox, the disease the giants cannot withstand. And Rube, that man whose son got sick of the smallpox, thinks that it's Flash's fault, and so he wants to kill Flash because of it. Yes, and now let's see what happens next. Here we go with Flash Gordon. Rega rega dune dune saskimata. Let's have music for heroic Flash. Flash warns the king that his ease will ravish your planet. Your only hope is to make peace with Earth and secure vaccine from our laboratory. But before the king can reply, Rube, maddened with fever and blaming Flash for his flight, makes a wild attempt to kill the earthmen. Stop, Rube! Rube, stop! Only the king's quick intervention fazes Flash's life. Flash's picture, top row, is violent onslaught over the taxis Rube's waning strength and he falls lifeless. Ignoring the stricken warrior, the king addresses Flash. This girl's day's life will be forfeit unless my people get the vaccine with you speak. I warn you, Gordon, if you fail, you shall watch her die. First picture, bottom row, hurrying to the most powerful face scanning station on wreath. Flash tries desperately to make contact with Dr. Zarkov on Earth. After anxious hours of failure, the doctor's face appears on the screen. Flash tries. Zarkov! Flash's offer is once with smallpox vaccine for 100,000 inoculations. Meanwhile, Dale ignores the threat that hangs over her and works tirelessly as a nurse for the stricken victims. A list of sufferers grows by the hour. One of the most serious cases is Rube's daughter, Kara. Last picture, back on Earth, Zarkov loses no time in rounding up a huge store of vaccine and other medical supplies. Within 24 hours, after receiving Flash's call for help, Zarkov is rocketing toward the enemy moon in an interplanetary race against death. So do I, because if the medicine doesn't get there, they're sure to die. And if they die, the king is apt to take Dale's life if he said he would. What do you think will happen? Well, we'll wait till next week and find that out. Everything depends on Zarkov getting there safely. And we'll find out about that next week. No adventure today. I have the same feeling. So let's go to the very last page. All right. He will go to sleep, and now that means we'll have a new adventure. Well, let's get to that right now. Here we go with Dick's adventures. Say the magic words with me. Riggity pack, kazak, kazik. Let them use it for adventurous Dick. Dick and his cousin Dan are out on a trip in the woods in a picnic. As Dick lies under a tree relaxing, his cousin says, Hey, Dick, you ever think if I first used the words, don't give up the ship? What was Captain James Lawrence? They were as dying words. It was way back in... Hey, Dick, wake up, Dick! But reality is melted into a dream, and in its spell, Dick goes back, back for the years. It's the month of May of the year, 1800 and 13 in Old Boston. Last picture, top row, Dick is walking down the street with his cousin Dan. He sees a ship that blocks the harbor. Cousin Dan says to Dick, Hey, Dick, take a look. She's still blockading us. First picture, second row. Like a great dark bird of prey, His Majesty's frigate Shannon flies relentlessly back and forth just outside Boston Harbor. But within the harbor, protected by shore batteries, lies its prey, the American ship, the Cheshire. The Cheshire. Dick and Dan look at the ship within the harbor, and Dan says, Hey, there she is, Dick. The U.S. frigate Chesapeake just returned from a long raiding voyage against the King's ships. Last picture, second row. Dick says thoughtfully, Hey, they're pretty evenly matched, Dan. Golly, I wonder who'd win if they fought. First picture, bottom row, at dockside. Part of the Chesapeake crew are whispering in grim, long-faced groups. Dan says cheerfully, Hey, hello, what's the matter here? You're not afraid of that royal raft out there, are you? Last picture, one of the sailors from the Chesapeake fancies. Afraid? That's the wrong word to use to a sailor in the U.S., maybe, maybe. But Harkin wears a jinx on this Chesapeake. From the day she first touched water, he said nothing but bad luck. She jinxed, I tell you. I wonder why that ship is there. The sailor says the ship has had nothing but bad luck. Well, it's certainly bad luck to be where it is now, because that ship can't even go outside the harbor. No, if it tries to go out of the harbor, it'll be attacked by the English ship, the Shannon. Well, I wish we could find out some more about this. We'll find out more about it next week. Now, let's find out the new things that are happening with Rusty Riley. Oh, yes. Because, you remember, he wants to buy horses for Mr. Miles. Yes, Mr. Miles has decided to sell the horses to Mr. Colby. But he's also decided that he wants Tex and Rusty to go along with the horses to see that they're treated properly. Yes, but there was a strange man last week whose name was Blacky, who was doing some scheming with the sea captain. And I'm sure they're not up to anything good. I'm sure of the very same thing. Now, let's see if we can find out anything about that now. Here we go with Rusty Riley. Gallop and Rundle, a road is dusty. Give us music for us, horse and Rusty. Tex and Mr. Miles are out at the paddock looking at the horses and talking. Mr. Miles is saying to Tex, I had the bank and the association look Mr. Colby at Tex. His financial rating's good, and his business is apparently on the level, so I see no reason why I shouldn't sell him some horses. Tex replies, Well, I'm right glad to hear he's okay, boss. I'm always a spect cheery at a mixture of pleasant armor. Too much of a built-in smile, if you get my meaning. Yes, I understand, Tex, but he's an old circus and carnival man, which is probably the reason for his manner. But anyway, I'm sending you and the boys along with the horses. A little later, last picture, top row, Mr. Miles is talking with Colorado Colby in his study. Mr. Colby, I have picked out 12 horses with gild cells, providing you agree to a certain condition I must impose. Happy to hear it, Mr. Miles, very happy indeed. Just name the price, and I'll wire my bank for a cashier's check at once. First picture, bottom row, Mr. Miles says. You see, Mr. Colby, my horse is, uh, a little too much. Mr. Colby, my horses are a little more than just commercial products to me. I, uh, like to know where they go and how they're treated. So I want Tex, Rusty, and Pete to go along with them. Of course, of course, matter of fact, I'm delighted. But I should warn you, it'll take some time. These horses are for a customer in Florida. You deliver them to my farm in Delaware Bay, and we'll then send them on by ship. Mr. Miles and odds, certainly, certainly. Three big bands should take care of them. A little later, Rusty and Pete are talking. They packed for the trip. Rusty exclaims, Boy, oh boy, this is gonna be a fun piece, a trip to the east coast, and then on a ship all the way to Florida. Pete laughs. Yeah, hope I don't get seasick. I never been on a ship. Meanwhile, many miles away, last picture on Delaware Bay on the sea coast, the man named Blackie is looking at a ship anchored out at the end of the pier. He says to the sea captain, So much to ship, huh, Captain? See, sure isn't any queen there, eh? Happy answers. Hey, no, Blackie. He's a tub. He could do with a little paint and a new gear. Let's hereby see whether, at least, as long as we need it to be. Well, we do know from last week that he has a crooked plan in mind. Yes, and that crooked plan has something to do with that ship. Well, we'll find out more about that next week. And something else we'll find out. Next week, we have a surprise for you. Oh, goody, what is this surprise? Beginning next week, the comic weekly is going to have one more new comic. And this one will be called Big Ben Bull. It's a story of prize fighters. Oh, I love that. I love boxing. Well, you will enjoy Big Ben Bulls, I'm sure. And we'll read that next week. Now, that's all the time I have. But before I go, here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information. And all your boys and girls, they've got to go now. All right. Okay, that's the date. And the date with all your boys and girls be sure to meet me with our little friend Ms. Honey next week when I read Pucks the Comic Weekly. For I'm the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man. I'll be back to read the funnies to you, happy boys and honey. Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friend the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man.