 Do you know someone close to you with a heart as warm as a summer's day? Their smile is so bedazzling that it can illuminate the gloomiest of times. Well, meet Steven, a wonderful soul with an extraordinary ability to put smiles on other people's faces. But there's one thing that makes him extra special. He's a people-pleaser extraordinaire. He's that yes man who's always willing to go the extra mile to make sure his family, significant other, and friends are happy. Even if it means sacrificing himself. He's a sweet child. He always helps me around the house despite having no extra time or energy. I remember there was one time I needed someone to pick me up from the airport early in the morning. He agreed to drive for two hours to the airport despite having a mid-term exam on the same day. Yeah, that's how Steven is. He bends over backwards for the sake of other people. He puts other people's happiness above his own so much so that he sacrifices his own desires and needs. But his people-pleasing nature eventually gets the best of him. His girlfriend is a compulsive shopaholic with a high credit card debt. So Steven steps in to become her savior. He takes on the caretaker role, helping her pay the debts. But as time passes, his girlfriend's shopping addiction becomes increasingly severe. Each time, Steven feels like he needs to save her from herself and tries to guide her to get out of her addiction. But he can only do so much. Ultimately, he finds it financially challenging to help his girlfriend. Now the relationship is slipped out of balance, and it seems Steven is doing more of the heavy lifting. He's always the one fulfilling the needs of his girlfriend without receiving an equal amount of effort back. The relationship with his girlfriend makes him exhausted. Steven feels a sense of great emptiness and resentment creep inside of him. He takes on his girlfriend's problems and pain as his own at the expense of taking care of himself. Then, it gradually dawns on him that he has neglected his own needs in his efforts to please other people. He goes to see his university counselor to discuss his dilemma. Since you've devoted so much time towards making everyone else happy, you simply forgot that you also need to make yourself happy. Remember, you can't pour from an empty cup. It's beautiful to do something for other people, but never at the expense of your own well-being. And so, from that moment on, he embarked on a journey to improve his well-being and learn important lessons on how not to let his cup dry out. Try to figure out the reason why you wanted to satisfy other people in the first place. How are your parents treating you when you were a child? Are they very dominating or authoritative? People-pleasing is a self-protection mechanism you may adopt as a child, especially when you wish to steer clear of disapproval and conflict. What do you fear will happen if you stop helping your girlfriend paying her credit card debts? I fear that she will stop loving me. Helping her helps me feel validated. I feel like I have a role in her life. I want her to see me as her hero. When I can't help her, I feel like I'm a failure. Stephen? People-pleasers have the underlying belief that who they are is not lovable. Rather, they crave being loved in order to feel worthy and happy. Having a strong need to be accepted, understood, needed, and loved leads them to be self-effacing and compliant. They're overly accommodating to other people's needs so much so that it's hard for them to say no. You have to be more authentic and communicate your difficulties in fulfilling their needs. Someone who really loves and appreciates you will totally understand. It's okay to say no. Declining to help others when you have your needs to cater to does not make you a bad person. It allows you to fill your own cup so that you can later pour it into other people. You have to assess your priorities. Too frequently, you rush in and say yes without thinking it through because you believe your response is the right one. The next time you face a situation, you must consciously pause to reflect before acting. That's okay, Stephen. I'll ask my sister to pick me up instead. Good luck with your exam, buddy. Stephen realizes that he should choose the people that he really wants to please. This might be just a few individuals on a regular basis. His significant other, close family members, and close friends. Helping those he cherishes will help give him a sense of satisfaction. There's no point in placing his highest priority on casual acquaintances, people who want to take advantage of him, or fair weather friends. It's alright to help strangers from time to time if it feels right, but remember to prioritize your loved ones first. Something truly remarkable unfolds as Stephen learns to distance himself from people pleasing behaviors. Close people in his life praise his strength and his ability to care for himself while at the same time still being a caring and compassionate person. He discovers that finding a balance between caring for others and honoring his own needs allowed him to form more profound, meaningful connections with people. The story of Stephen shows us what it means to recalibrate other people's expectations, set boundaries, assess our priorities in a world that often expects us to put others first, and choose people that you really want to please. We could all learn from Stephen that our happiness matters just as much as the happiness of our loved ones. If you found this video helpful, don't forget to like, subscribe to our channel, and share this with your loved ones.