 Who said that? Jacob. Is that all it? Yeah. And then he got out the car and held like directly down to Jacob. Down here? Yeah. On the street? Uh huh. And he was like walking up to a house and he had like a towel in his hand. Yeah. Like it was like something in the towel. Yeah. I don't know what it was. It probably could have been alcohol or something. But it was like in the rag and he was holding it like this. Yeah. Man. Rubbing on it and then he looked at Jacob and he was walking like this. And then he looked at Jacob. And he was like Jacob, stop staring at him. And Jacob was just standing with the ball like this. Staring into his sole. I love you. Be good. Okay. Y'all got to forgive me. What's up buddy? Have you pressed the ball yet? You going night night? Yes. Say hey. Hello. It's a little tight buddy. Okay. You going to bed right now? Okay. All right. Love you. I'm sure that was not playing my oldest son. I had already, I was late and then my oldest son come and tell me about something in the neighborhood. And then y'all see my youngest son come and say good night. And he getting older. I don't know what I, I think me spending money on his game on the love when he playing a video game won his heart over because he didn't used to make a big deal about saying good night like two years ago. He, he, he, whatever I'm doing, wherever I'm at, he got to come say good night. And so y'all, y'all forgive me about that. This was very random. So I didn't have enough time to plan this, but somebody mentioned when I went live on Instagram and I say, you know what? I'm sitting in the bed. My wife, she, you know, doing her thing. She, she read structure and read organizing, tating room. And so she locking in, put her little music on and so I was just sitting in the bed answering the Q and A on Instagram and got the football game on and listening to, I was listening to the boy album. Whenever somebody released an album, I listened to the album just to hear what the culture was going on in the culture. So I was listening to the guy Drake album and he had a song on there about where I'm from girls like girls. And the song is promoting, you know, girl on girl action, but with a boyfriend. And then he had the other guy on there as a feature and that guy say, you know, she say she like to eat peach cobbler. And he said, I do too. And so this is what I try to tell y'all this media and this music is out here to program you. So this young man, these young men not married. So by creating a song like this, that put that put every woman that they will sleep with from this point forward. That put them on every woman that they will sleep with going forward. That put the woman in the mindset, bring a girl with you. So it's creating women in the mindset of threesomes, fosomes, what have you. And then what happened is women who listen to that, who don't have morals and values and we're not raised with a parent or guardian that was very active in their life and very intentional in their life will start to say. They'll start to say, oh, I am, I need to be doing this for my man. I need to be bringing him a girlfriend. And it's just how the subconscious mind work is how that program working. So that's why I check. So that's why I listen to this stuff. And I'm going to tell y'all, you know, that's nasty. You know, it's nasty to be hollering by the threesome and all that and just giving your body away like that and letting men have fun with you like that. And it's just because because men don't think about the soul ties. Men don't when these men that's doing this and talking about this, they're not thinking about the emotional damage that's happening. And what's happening with them women and how they feeling after doing that. And just but this, this, the world we in and that music is so powerful. So it'll have people really doing that who just own on the verge, on the friends and not knowing. So, you know, we got to understand that. Hey, God bless you. Welcome to the new members of the bless tribe who joining. Make sure you put the hashtag cue in front of your, your question. I've seen somebody post one, but it's gone. Am I for entertaining the dude in prison? Does that make me desperate? He's done six, got six more. It sounds desperate. It does sound desperate, especially if it wasn't your man before he went in. And me personally, I've just, I never really see that work out too well. You know, being faithful is a moral act. So if a guy goes to prison and he's guilty, that means that he lacks morals in a certain area. And so he became a criminal. And so it's hard to be a criminal and not have morals in, in with the law and then be faithful. And so that's why I always tell you, you got to judge a man by his character. So if a guy is a criminal, he definitely going to be a cheater. There's no such thing as, as a guy who doesn't have morals and who willing to break the law and then him being faithful in a relationship because it's way harder to be faithful in a relationship than it is to commit a crime. It's way easier to sell drugs or to steal or to rob or to kill than it is to be faithful for a man. That sounds crazy to women, but it's just how men are programmed and how we wire. It take a lot of discipline for a man to be faithful. So if a man ain't got the discipline to stay out of prison, he definitely ain't going to have the discipline to stay faithful to a woman. And so you just have to realize that's, that says more than about him than you even being with him. But a lot of time look, you know, I really don't like speaking on guys who criminals in prison because I shoot back and I got a family that I got to take care of. So that's why when y'all dealing with these jailbirds, need thoughts, don't mention my name because I shoot back. And then here I am, got to be going up the road and I got a wife and two kids to take care of. So y'all keep me out of that. Don't be asking about jailbirds. Y'all listen, God bless you, listen, apply, be blessed. Hey man, she trying to, let's say, she tired of y'all asking the same questions to die. Go, go God bless you now. Okay, okay, okay, y'all hold on. I need questions flying in, hold on, hold on. Let me see something. Let me see something. I wish I had a way that they have a system that just keep them in order. I'm going to start doing it on the computer even though it be a little fuzzy. It's once, it's once to make, to make it work. I want to try, but I want to take things slow. How long should be the courting phase? Be until becoming official again before I cut him off a number of months. Well, listen, here's the thing. You either be in or be out. So if you don't want to be in and be all the way in, then that means your heart is not sure about going back. So don't go back and go back halfway. And so you either end and when you end with an X, that means you treat him like nothing ever happened before. You treat him like you just met him and you've fallen all in love again. If you bring all the past then and you got all that in there, then it's going to block you regardless of what he does. So you eat all in or you don't want to go at all. And so this is a new development in my answer because in the past, I would say, be with him and take it slow, keep your guards up and which all of them things still are true, but you can't treat him like he's on probation. Meaning you can't treat him like he in a halfway house. He has to feel like you love him and you all the way in with him even though you're watching and you're paying attention. So you just got to be mindful of that. If your heart don't feel sure and ready, then they don't do it. Keep going. Don't force yourself to try to make something work if you don't feel good about it. Listen, y'all, it's hard for me to scroll them back up to the question so get your question in and you're hard scrolling all the way back up and try to keep all comments out of that and just questions so I could see the question is a lot easier if y'all could help me with that. What do you say about taller women dating shorter men? I am 6'2 and men have my height approaching me. You know, it's very interesting that men have your height approaching you because typically men are insecure about their height if a woman is taller and so it's very interesting that men, you know, shorter are approaching you and so I'm not sure if that's their confidence or if that's the little man complex that people talk about or it could just be your beauty to them like your beauty is striking and they're like, hey, you know, I hear men say stuff like I climbed that tree or we the same height when we land down I've heard men say things like that and so some men may not care or it may not be insecure I also remember celebrities a lot of celebrity men has made being with a woman who's taller they've made it cool, they've made it popular and so you see these guys who are, you know, 5'4", 5'6", 5'7", 5'8", you know and they were the woman who was taller than them and now the guys got money if they stand on their money, they tall but typically it's, you know, yes, totally, the live just started and typically it's, you know, it's the other way around but that's very interesting to me and so here's the thing if you don't mind being with a shorter guy then it's worth going on a date see if he got real confidence or if that's just a complex, you know soon to be ex-husband professing his love but living with the side chick said he wanted to work for his family again but he turned around and messaged me he is gonna be with her does he love anyone? probably not it don't sound like he knows what he wants he sounds very confused stuck in the middle, just kind of going I personally don't understand those kind of men it really don't make a whole lot of sense to me so the feeling that I get is those type of men are very hurt from childhood like very torn, very scorn just really, you know just tore up from the floor up and in a lot of pain just seeking a pain reliever and using women as that pain reliever and not really considering the hearts and that they're damaging in the process of trying to soothe their heart that's the feeling that I get when men do that kind of stuff of age like almost every man does it like in teens and early 20s but once a guy's like of age and doing stuff like that it's kind of mind boggling met him at public place started texting and he started making comment of my body in a flirtatious way red flag it's not that big of a deal you know, if it was disrespectful and it hurt your feelings and it felt real like if it's like, whoa you really got a nice shape like if it's like that then it's like him just stream of conscience, thinking out loud you could tell if he meant something by it but if it's like drink your dirty bathwater I'll do this and do that to you now that's disrespectful and it just he has no respect but if he's like, wow you really have an amazing shape like you really are blessed if it's something kind of like that then it's more so in awe thinking out loud trying to be nice fishing for a compliment trying to strike up conversation in a nice way so you could tell if it's disrespectful or not, if he means it to be raunchy or disrespectful Luciana, God bless you what you say is a good idea to join online dating to simply practice going on dates and socializing versus not doing on dates at all God bless you Luciana glad you're here I could tell you knew I never really ever condone online dating only when somebody is 50 years old or older and the reason why I feel like at that point sometimes women start to get desperate men start to get desperate once they hit 50 and so it's like desperate measures and it's kind of like pride, shoot your shot because some people may feel like they only got 10 years left 15 years left 20 years left and it's not the same as being 20, 25 anymore and so they feel like listen, I got to do whatever I got to do to meet the love of my life because I'm just tired of being single so if a person feels like that as long as they're willing to get the knowledge before getting online and kind of have some boundaries when they get online to date it makes sense when somebody is 50 or older and also because they've been here for a long time and have seen a lot, heard a lot done a lot so I expect them to be able to pick up on games a little better even though sometimes that's not the case but when you under 50 especially under 40 you got time, get out in the real world get around, walk around be out go to events get out the house get on eventbrite.com or whatever the event ticketing site is in your area and it's always events going on and even with mask on and just get out the house and do everything you need to get out of the house four times a week for months straight before you consider getting online dating online dating is so it's so tricky it's a complete living off of online dating just getting money from people and so it's just way more of that than it is genuine people looking for love so you could get on there with a genuine heart but by the time you meet somebody like you you'd have been raked over the coals and dogged out and when you get online you got to realize the online is like a smorgasbord it's like a hunting ground it's literally like it's like a lion a you know, prairie of a lot of gazelles and just getting to just hunt all day that's what online dating is like and so I speak from a male's perspective being a man I realize it is countless women who are single so literally as a man if I was a single man I could walk down my street and meet two, three single women before I get to the stop sign and so for me as a man it makes absolutely no sense for a man to be online dating so that's why I can't trust it because if a man gonna get online you got to realize the killers the serial killer the scam artists that's where they're gonna go they're gonna go online because they can hide behind a fake picture they can hide behind some lies they can send e-messages they can get your information they can get your phone number they can look up your phone number they can do a reverse search on an app for your phone number they can find your real name they can find your address they can get on the black web find your social security number they can do so much to where you just you become prey when you go do online dating the app myself and I put in full proof, a bunch of safe stuff a bunch of all kind of different hoops and things you got to do to where it's weeting out the people that's playing games to where if you a scammer you drained and exhausted by the time you get to send a message to somebody you got to be on there for real love and so I'm telling y'all get out the house get out the house and I have a guy I'm interested in a IG we both follow each other I've let it be known I was interested through a mutual friend he likes my pics but has not said anything to me at all why not he probably taking he probably in a relationship and just trying everything he can he's fighting as hard as he can to be faithful and or he's not interested in you he's not attracted to you but he doesn't want to be rude and mean so he just send little likes to you know be nice but don't read into it if a man is not direct about his thoughts or feelings then don't read into it don't wait on it, don't play with it don't bout your business my baby daddy is 48 he say he told himself he'll be single forever after divorce I'm having thoughts feeling I messed up keeping this baby when I know it's a blessing he didn't want another well you know you make your bed you lay in it you was sleeping with him you was sleeping unprotected now you pregnant and you also was doing that for yourself so you got to realize that realize and understand that you all got to forgive him but they ain't had cut out real quick hopefully it back on can y'all hit me sometime my wife I'll be acting up let's see I met this guy online and have not met in person however he does call me a lot and every time we talk it be hours on the phone he says we friends but why hasn't he made a move on me and ask me out now the weird thing about us men and what I try to help women understand is that for us men we can have a old talk about a release we can have a mental old offer just talking to a woman and so for some men it's more so about the feminine energy it's your voice it's your laugh it's the conversation it's love it's not about a relationship it's just you feeling a void it's like you soothing to him it's like you a teddy bear for a little boy who's scared and so for some men that's all it's about so when a man talking to you and he talking for hours and he not asking you out he's not trying to go out with you it's really you just his human teddy bear in that moment he not looking for a girlfriend not looking for a wife in that one you dating intentionally and a man is it dating intentionally he just want to sit and talk on the phone that's when you got to realize you his therapist you his human teddy bear and if that's not what you want to be in his life then that's when you need to cut it and go on about your business because if a man is serious about you then he's going to make a move and he's going to be intentional because he doesn't want to risk lacking and slacking and then another man swooping in swooping you off your feet some mouth of God bless you now how should I react if I am at dinner with a group of girlfriends and one guy and the entire table engages in explicit conversation this is extremely appalling and inappropriate well I mean you there once you at dinner you there and know your girlfriend so when the dinner over with you just need to reassess your friends and if y'all still on the same level and if y'all not on the same level but they're with your friends so it'll be way worse to get up and walk out to get up y'all just doing too much much because then you're acting like a nun it's like okay it's explicit conversation if nobody not sitting at the dinner table slapping you with a dildo it's explicit conversation you're a grown woman you said I mean don't be too righteous and holy oh my God you know and all of that it's a conversation they talking that's just where they at so it's like after that dinner then you know alright y'all are tricking I ain't going out with y'all no more Linda Brown God bless you now God bless you I'm getting braces in a couple weeks well men find me less attractive I mean it's a couple spurts with them braces to where the teeth really go to act it up you know I had braces for three years and if y'all see on some of my courses the braces up under my lips and I'm talking like that and then some of the courses on tonigastonacademy.com my bottom teeth was split was separated so I had you kick a field goal down there and I had the braces on but it just it was moving around in my mouth and so it was it's a couple awkward moments with braces but actually once your teeth is situated under there it's actually you know a good looking thing it just it look cool it look cool it look like self care and it's like wow this person care about themselves this person working on themselves and you know the person look good enough with braces so imagine when they come off and them teeth is straight and right and that smile nice so it's not a bad thing at all man ain't gonna trip by that at all do you think a 32 year old dating themselves with a is a waste of time yes that's a waste of time and you waste my time with that question so come on now God bless y'all y'all know I try to answer everything now but y'all come on now y'all got to do better absolute God bless you God bless you let me see Maggie you dropping that question over and over thinking of leaving this year's boyfriend it's hard because it's been a year of him being consistent and trying too much pain and hurt from the past any advice you would give to not go back and stay with the decision well you know it's kind of that's a rhetorical question kind of because you already know what you got to do you already know what you got to do a lot of times it's just kind of it's really like an addict going to N.A. or AA and then they have to get a sponsor you know like an accountability partner when they get weak they can call that person that's essentially what you have to do when you getting over a relationship you got to have a life coach a therapist somebody that you can go to when you feel like calling him back when you feel like taking that phone call you can call that person and talk to them and they talk you off the ledge you know and so it's really doing the common sense things none of this is is rocket science it's like it's really the common sense thing putting one foot in front of the other Cheryl God bless you now let me see here oh I missed hold on right quick Audrey okay I almost miss you right there sunshine 20 God bless you now relationship lacks intimacy since prego baby 6 months now but it's often 2 months between we hug kiss every time but I worry maybe he lost attraction good man but don't understand how he goes without says he don't think about it as much now mid 30s yeah yeah system with that one right down that's typical now you say go months without so when y'all do go that mean it working that thing get on up so that's probably not ed probably not ed and so what that typically is is hands a little with an argue nasty move that's typically what's keeping him satisfied or a whole another one so if it ain't ed the ed dysfunction dysfunction then that release coming from somewhere and so he just say no asexual all of a sudden after having a whole baby and it may not it ain't always about losing attraction sometimes it's just somebody else on that computer screen on that phone screen that just unreal and he just he wearing that thing got got about to get the skin off that thing and so he so release he so done that he just ain't got nothing left and so sometimes you got to look a little deeper you know you got to look a little deeper and see what that is rock saying god bless you I'm a therapist I just started your life coaching can I go deeper as a life coach arm not sure what you mean by deeper as a life coach because you could go if you go deeper than life coaches and that mean you doing therapy meaning if you go into trauma bonds and childhood trauma and all of this stuff like that meaning you doing therapy now they could come to you as a life coach and hire you like from my mentor.life you can be on my mentor.life and they can hire you as a life coach and if they bring up stuff that you can touch on in therapy then you just have to look at your therapy license and see if you legally allow to you know do therapy with somebody who's in another state which I would assume you may be able to because of other sites now that them popped up that therapists are doing virtual therapy through an app through text message through phone so they must have changed some law but you know undre fantastically but it would be therapy and not coaching because with coaching coaches we don't have treatment plans because you know with therapy you go to school you get a degree you get certified you get licensed by the state so you can get audited and I don't know if y'all have to do updates like recertifications or like you know continue learning in whatever state but therapists you have treatment plans and so as coaches we don't have treatment plans it's really just based on life wisdom just what we've experienced so if something has been studied in human behavior by what you learn as a therapist if you learn like if this person went through a lot with their mother or their father there's a term for that that describes that experience so their feelings life coaches don't use those labels I said labels and somebody's like therapists don't use labels but it is a label when you say trauma bond that's a label you know good you know that's a label that's what I mean by labels life coaches don't use that because we're not trained in that because what we're doing is listening asking great questions helping them come up with a solution of what they could do in the here and now and so the beauty about today a lot of therapists are also becoming coaches because it's some stuff that therapists don't do with their client on their book on their nonprofit organization I asked a therapist about that one time he was in Baltimore, Maryland and I was like can you help a client write a book and he was like absolutely not I get out of the yin yang he was like now I can refer the client to you and I was like oh okay and so it let me know so coaches kind of hands on in that aspect help somebody start a business and walk them through the whole business process the LLC and all of that and so that's where a lot of therapists today are also adding coaching to their bio to their resume to their offerings but if you're a therapist you actually don't need to be certified as a coach you know you well coaches period don't have to get certified it's not required by law but it is good if you don't feel 100% comfortable about the industry and you want to learn it is a good thing to do is it bad to feel indifferent about dating it's not bad but it means you should sit still because if you can't date intentionally and know what you want and know that you out there for sure you'll end up getting hurt so just sit still until you don't feel indifferent about it start fish bless you how to respond judgment from friend found for leaving grown boy because they only saw him as perfect didn't see his toxic control disrespect behind closed doors explain that to them tell them the whole story if they only saw one side you got to enlighten them to what they didn't see can't God bless you and if they don't want to listen to that then they get miserable in their life and don't mind if you be miserable in yours told the guy I'm not comfortable with him coming to my place vice versa still hasn't mentioned taking me on a date am I forcing or just let it go go and let it go because it's common sense for a man to take you on a date but the reason why a man don't take you on a date because he got another woman he either got another woman or he flat broke or he juggling women and he don't want to spend no money on nobody and he just looking for something on the side or he just looking for a woman to sleep with but it is very common sense for a man to take a woman that he talking to on a date even if y'all going to walk around the lake going to walk downtown on the way over where you just go up to that that pizza restaurant and buy the pizza buy the slice so you spend 10-12 dollars getting a couple pieces of pizza and a couple bottles of water and then y'all just walking downtown people watching you can do something like that very cheap so if a man don't think about that it's because he got another woman he got another woman or he not looking for a woman he just looking for somebody to sleep with someone that I grew up with in church never anything between us he's been in the state for years he recently started calling and talked for 5-6 hours he asked me to come visit I don't know if he likes me in that way if he talking 5-6 hours something's going on something's going on so either either you done got a raise or you got a good job and he done heard you got some money or he done seen you on facebook or instagram and saw that looking better than he used to think you look or he just went to his black book because his relationship ain't work out and he's like did I overlook anybody in my past that could have been the one that could be the one but I ain't shoot my shot like something going on that's not like a man to be talking no 5-6 hours Linda Brown God bless you I don't know if I said that but God bless you I've been separated for over one year we're supposed to file our papers but he hasn't said one word since moving out is this control or game it may be neither it's just he may not really feel a need to get divorced probably like he ain't feel a need to get married and so until he meet a new woman that he want to marry it may not really matter to him because if he out and about living his life doing his thing without conviction then he knows that that marriage kind of keep you stuck as a woman because he know you got more class and self respect and dignity then to be out here sleeping around and dating and you and you married and so it could just be to just keep you stuck and he doing his thing so you got to go on file your own papers and you know tap into the part of the law to where if he don't sign you get to go on here anyways and just do that reality check God bless you now how to increase the probability of men approaching me now see you know I totally get that and that's a legitimate question and I wish it wasn't though you know I really wish y'all didn't have that question but um because it just not really it not really where you want your focus to be you know you don't want your focus to be on getting a man to approach you where you want your focus to be on is let me be the absolute best that I can be as a person so let me get my body to where I want it to be let me get my business to where I want it to be let me get my mind to where I want it to be let me you know study myself study what's around me let me make sure that I'm tapped into the clothes for me the fashion for me the look for me you know the field of the the vibe like where I want to hang out and just really dive into self-love and when you go into self-love what that's gonna do is that's gonna bring that's gonna attract who you want to attract so never go into it with the mentality of somebody else more so focus on you and who you want to be and where you want to be and then the results will happen because if you go out here trying to get a man to attract a man you're gonna be awkward you know you're gonna be walking funny you know you're just gonna be you're gonna be awkward the man for you will be will be attracted to you you know in your natural and your comfort zone in your space the man for you will be for you let me see will a man keep calling you his wife and not mean it yeah yeah he so will a mouth will say anything so that's what you have to realize and a lie gonna tell it lie so all you have to worry about is the actions because well we used to say when somebody say some we say that's what your mouth say and so you can't listen to what somebody's saying what are they doing what are they showing you that's all that matter was in the 20 35 group today but didn't have enough time to answer my question when you mentioned don't buy a home until marriage is that also meaning for single moms what I mean by that yet mean for single moms to if you want to get married if you want to get married if your goal is to get married is no sense in Russian to buy a house because a lot of time people think I read an article in Forbes one time a lady and her husband they have bought a house and they sold a house and she was like I never buy another house because it just don't make no sense because a lot of people call a house an asset but a house really is a liability because it's just a way for the bank to loan you money and make money off of you and until you absolutely know where you want to stay where you want to live what you're going to do that's your plan like because you could buy a house and then you can meet your husband in the next month and then y'all supposed to move to another state and then your house don't sell or you got to take a loss on it or you been paying interest on every payment leading up to it where you really not nothing off the principle and so if you plan on getting married until you just get to a point where you like you got a plan to where if you get married you're going to turn this house to be paid off or you're going to turn this house into a rental property or you know something like that but it's no different than renting but except for rent is you don't own a house so when the roof leaking you got to pay for it that's $12,000 when the pool break you ain't got to pay for it that's $3,500 when the AC act up you ain't got to pay for it that's $1,000 if you need a new AC unit that's $7,000 so a house come with so much I own a house I'm in a house so I'm a home owning I'm telling you it ain't all it cracked up to be because your life could change every year every three years so how that flexibility because renting ain't the end of the thing a lot of time we just want a house just to say we own a house just to feel like we have accomplished the American dream but really when you actually think about it it's the bank winning because even if you pay off that house you still got property taxes so guess what so you never own anything you never own a house because you got to pay property taxes for the rest of your life and when you die whoever get that house if they follow hard times and they can't pay property taxes the house still getting taken so it's really it ain't what they done made us believe it is but that's what the media does because this is a way that banks and the financial system get absolutely rich because by the time you done paying for the house you done paid by it twice whereas the person who own it if you renting from they bear all the burden they the risk taker they taking the chances because if you stop paying rent they got to go through all kind of stuff to get you evicted they got to spend all kind of money if it's a moratorium they can't even kick you out so the homeowner actually be the one that's really taking the huge risk so if you single and your goal is to be married there's nothing wrong with renting a house until you know you got a solid plan and you know what you want to do with your life you know where you at where you going then you can put your digs in by your house where you know you want to live stuff like that crystal mother god bless you god bless you I'm 23 years old never been to college but still financially stable and independent I want to live a purpose for life and do something I love but don't know where to start any tips well do what you love write down identify what you love what is it that you love write down your gifts write down your passions and then marry the two I got a course called entrepreneurship with purpose because I didn't just want to make money I wanted to earn a living living my purpose and being able to build a business around my purpose so that every day I can wake up and do what I'm here to do and be able to earn from that versus giving 40 hours a week to something that I'm not called to do and then only having a little bit of energy for the thing that I'm put on earth to do so that's what I call entrepreneurship with purpose and so take that course since you financially stable that means you're able to afford it and take the time and sit down and go through the work and do the work and process it and really get that in your spirit and in there you'll be able to develop and identify what it is you need to start doing what's your opinion of divorce couples going on family trips together with the kids both parties are single and not remarried I mean that's totally fine because you single and you're not remarried and so if y'all not enemies and y'all kids wanna go on a vacation and you single and not remarried then that's totally fine if y'all not meant to be divorced and it was something that happened in a weak part of life that vacation might rekindle y'all and y'all remember what y'all lost but it would be bad if you get into a relationship and then you're trying to do that like some of the celebrities do that's when you mix and got too much going on cause it was people asking me a lady asked me should my boyfriend ride to the away games with his baby mama and I said no he need to drive himself because when he with her you don't know if they bonded you don't know what's going on when they get to that away game especially if it's somewhere they stand you don't know if they sleeping together like if he wanna go to his son and he is in a new relationship he need to be getting himself there and if he ain't got a car or he can't rent a car then unfortunately he gotta let his son know I'm down on my luck man and I'll catch an ass game if he wanna be in a new relationship first so a child mother she probably like yeah it's cool he can roll with me I just want my child to be happy not the new the new woman and so you know I asked my wife about that she's like no you'll be renting a car you'll be renting a car to go to your baby mama to your son game if she was my new woman and my ex woman you know I wanted to ride with her cause I ain't got no car so you'll be renting a car because there's a lot could go on in that car and so when you done you done and it becomes a business transaction but if you single and not married then you do what you wanna do and it could trip you up now if you trying to heal how can you recover from talking too much and telling too much of your business you really can't recover from that if it's out there it's out there anything you say in the court of law can and will be used against you I mean in the court of law anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law and so you know that's your tone of right I ain't gonna call them around the right cause I made that up so that's your tone of right can and will be used against you in the court of law so at that point if you told too much and this is a grown boy and you negate him some ammunition and he finna unload the clip on you with all your business and rubbing in your face and thaw it in your face then that's how you know you done messed up you done messed up no cause for for a few days said busy with CZ benefit doubt or leave says I'm not sure what you're saying I'm not really sure what you're saying I don't know what CZ is oh cousin busy with cousin wedding I mean he's not the party planner and if he party planning he's not planning all night long so you know that's hall watch he with him a whole another woman out there at that when he was one of the brides man one of the up there went when her out there so yeah that right there uncalled for if rock got time to call Michelle every day he got time to call you so you can't let people pull the wool over your eyes and hit you with little foolish stuff and play you like that hello I am a 35 year old Christian professional single woman desiring a king the man and I don't date I desire greatly men are starting to approach me but not husband material any advice track you're on the right track if men approaching you then you're on the right track just a matter of just how to mop flops and the cookie crumbles it's just the numbers now so the numbers may say one out of ten men gonna be worth your time so you need ten men to approach you before one on worth your time if he worth your time but he ain't the one then you need another ten to approach you before one on worth your time and so maybe two to three maybe worth your time depending on where you at maybe five out of ten maybe worth your time depending on where you at and so you know you're on the right path now still home with family at 31 one a condo and I just wait to move out when I meet my husband you should wait to move out you know when you but make sure to stand with your parents that you got a budget that you invest in that you know have you a little stock app you know like betterment.com and you sending a little money every check putting it on the market and your Roth IRA putting your $6,000 a year into your Roth IRA and then direct that Roth IRA into a specific fund you know that you buy it into and so that you got that right there put up at least and you got your savings and you got your credit score you building your credit so don't just stay at your parents house just to be able to you know ball out and eat out every day and you know and still be broke and then when you meet your husband you still broke budget and disgusted even though you've been living with your parent so stay with your parents because see men real men are protectors and providers so a real man coming in to be that guy like he coming in to say listen I got us I got us like you whatever you bring to the table that's you know that's bonus but I want to get to a place where I got us and so that's a real man mentality and he really after that bag to where he want to have more than enough to take care of the whole household and if the woman make money that's that's icing on the cake but that ain't his cake because he bought his and so he know how to get his so you living with your parents from the male perspective it's not a bad thing not for no real man now a grown boy one of the new age boys if he caught up in all this right here going on he might look down on you for that but a real man old school but with a with a good heart he don't care nothing about that he like oh that's smart so we getting together and you coming in with a little bag to your name you coming in good credits go so ain't got the when we get married ain't got the just put my name on the house no fine name could go on then your seven twenty seven fifty eight hundred credits go go help us get even better interest rate so now it's like you bring some to the table when y'all get married and you come up by your mom and daddy house what is the best way to handle inconsistencies reason is always sick parent communication then will respond with apology and reason how long is this pattern acceptable well I mean you got to look at what he going through so if the parent is really really sick and it's really really draining and it literally takes all day to where when he's done he passing out and let's say you go over and you visit one day at his parents house for the sick parent is at and while the parent is sleeping you and him sitting in the living room talking and you get to see that workload and what he has to do for his parent so it becomes real to you then that's when you really could understand it but if you ain't never been over there to the house you really don't have verification proof that the parent is sick and he always in and out and all this and that no can't believe that can't believe that because the way I look at it like this right here as a human if I'm taking care of my sick parent and it's draining and it's exhausting but I got somebody that I'm with and I love them when I'm done when I put my sick parent to sleep I'm going and I'm putting my bluetooth in I'm putting my headphone in and I'm laying in the bed and I'm calling my person that I'm in love with and I'm like yeah I'm so tired you got to be giving from fall split what's that what's that I'm sorry oh my god I just been changing diapers and just rubbing feet and just changing you know bed sores and just giving bounce all day and then parents just keep using the bathroom on itself like I'm talking through that with my person that I love as I'm falling asleep and so it's always time for love that's the thing like I get that question so many times but you a lot of time you got to put yourself in them shoes and say okay will I call this person you know if I'm serious about this person will I call this person and so you know you say the talking phase that's even more important to be calling you because they don't even know you like me and my wife I could go a day if I'm out and I'm busy and I'm tired up because I got 14 years in the hole meaning that I don't built it up but if you just meet somebody that's even more reason for him to be finding even five minutes to talk to you on the phone on FaceTime unless the situation is extremely extremely just training and the parent about to die you know and so it's not just the physical it's the emotional and the mental if it's something like that then that's when you got to be understandable do you agree when you start to make excuses for the person you are dealing with it's time to leave for example not being consistent yeah you're right excuse me changes so you shouldn't have to make excuse for nobody and that's what most people make excuses for the person they with for the relationship they in because it takes a lot strength to leave it take a whole lot to leave and so a lot of times we will make them excuses because it take a lot of time I mean it take a lot to get up and leave so yeah it's hard I applied the 14 day rule to a man I was dating for seven months I haven't heard from him since day one that was over two months ago how do you know his ego or he just doesn't care um seven months it's definitely ego it's definitely ego whether he cares or not it's ego but it also was just seven months like he didn't really have any love for you like men don't fall in love in seven months and if he was in love and he really cared for you then you would have never had to do the 14 day rule because he would have never pushed you to that point so essentially he was sabotaging the relationship to push you away because he wasn't man enough to say I don't want to waste your time I don't want to waste my time we're not meant to be so he just sabotaged the relationship by dogging you out or doing whatever he was doing to you to make you do the 14 day rule because now it's on you now you're the one who left you the one who backed out because you didn't want to put up with what he was putting you through so that's what some people will do when they don't have the strength or the maturity to just cut it off like a real adult and say hey it's not going to work make sure y'all put on the hashtag Q in front of your question what do you think about buying a house for me and their parent I plan to travel for work but want my mom to have a place and for me to have somewhere to come home to not trying to date still a bad idea not trying to date if you're not trying to date then you know that's cool and it's cool to buy a house as long as if you're going to get married one day you're not attached to it if that house could become your mama house and you make enough money to pay that bill there and you're still putting into your house with your husband if you're working or if that's required or expected by your husband it's totally fine but at the same time it's like there are houses that is owned by a real estate company so as long as you pay the rent they're not going to kick you out the house because they are in it to buy and hold it's different when you go and you talk to the realtor and you buy the rent a house and you rent it from a family who they're just renting it out because they went up north or because they got called over here or over there but they're really trying to sell it but it's not selling so they're renting it that's when you could be packing up and moving every year but if you're renting from a real estate investor they just you're going to have that house they buying and holding and so you can even sign the lease for more years if you want to I wouldn't recommend that just in case it's a crappy place and stuff you can't see just buy or walk through but don't be don't force buying a house don't force rushing that process especially when you're young don't get caught up in this American dream stuff and next thing you know you got this huge build this huge thing that got all this other stuff like don't rush it don't rush it it's cool and then it's your mama they got nice apartments too and y'all if you ain't got no kids you her child just you and her condo in the sky overlooking the water you know gated nice condo you know it don't have to be a house like don't force that especially when you're young because you really don't know what tomorrow bringing and you know but if you just finish shut it down and you say forget relationships okay people that do that on your mentor life do you have coaches that would be able to get me to get motivated to find a hobby or what I like to do I've worked two jobs for the past five years my life consisted of work only um not really you know coaching is really for motivated people you know so you kind of go in looking to change looking to grow you know but nobody will be able to do anything for you that you don't want to do for yourself or that you can't do for yourself you know it's something that you got to go in and you say okay I'm ready I'm ready to activate and if that's the case and you know you miss worded it and yeah coach will be able to help you to devise a plan to create some me time and to get out the house a little bit more and you know you'll be able to do that nope Sarah I didn't see your question but if you put your question right there I would have seen it so you know um post your copy and paste your question again and again until I see it um God bless you I live in north of Atlanta and work in Decatur Atlanta man God bless you says I don't know nobody in I don't know nobody in I just you know God bless you but what I hear about Atlanta what I see by Atlanta fiance left blended fiance left blended family and is troubled by driving at Gore pray and stay it's time to let go time to let on go you can't beat nobody else make sure you put a hashtag cue in front of your question I noticed that a lot of people want to pick up my brain family and close friends but don't want to support my life career business coat sessions is it bad that I stopped jumping and answering the phone um yes it'll be bad that you stop answering the phone because that ain't who you need support from you know you never really get support from the people who know you so you can't really expect that or you'll be disappointed all the time I mean I'm a coach and I've been coaching since 2007 14 years there has been two people who knew me before I became a professional that have hired me for coaching two people and so it's just not something you have to you should wait on or expect so really what you see friends and close family see them you know see them as pay as on the job training use them for your practice to where learn how to listen through them get on the phone with them and let them talk as long as they want to talk so that helps you develop emotional intelligence patience and you know you really get to the place to where you can listen and then ask great questions and really practice and hone your craft with friends and family and then as you building your brand and you marketing yourself on social media or out in public or putting up you know billboards or bus stop benches then you bringing in people real people from the outside world that's paying you for your services but you are already a seasoned professional because you've been getting training through friends and family so change the way you see it and don't let that get you frustrated I'm ready to date it's been nine years how can I be approached without looking so obvious looking desperate just get out the house you know just get out the house don't be walking all slow walking all slow all listen don't be doing all this and all that just get out the house just walk regular sit down at the food court have a little bite to eat walk through the park walk through the mall just get out the house be normal ECCL says is that a clease acid says time for everything based on your coaching and conversations with single men do they seem to be looking for relationships just relations in this season men always just looking for relations it's always going to be men looking for relations since Galatians since all the Asians it's always been men looking for relations and that's always going to be that's how men just train by society and all of that so but today on our zoom call we had some men on the call and I was absolutely shocked that never really happens we had men on the call and asking what to look for in a wife and how to prepare for a wife and that was in the 26 to 35 year old call and I was shocked by that I was like wow that's the first time I feel like that didn't happen that I could remember I know it didn't happen before but barely been working on myself with life coach and therapist and focus on family husband 3 year old son sis has been disrespectful and using me as a punch bag has to confront her and got this distant from her but it hurts advice I don't know when you say sis if you talking about his sister or your sister but either way it's going to hurt but what you have to do when somebody hurt you got to flip it and you got to realize that hurt people hurt people so if somebody hurt in you that mean they extremely hurt that mean that they so miserable they so bitter they so upset I remember my sister used to practice by cuss me out and give her money and I wouldn't loan her my car I wouldn't buy her a car I wouldn't buy my momma a house I wouldn't buy my momma a car cause they thought I had more money than I did and she was saying oh okay your sister that's jealousy she probably you know she probably got a man that's abusing her abusing her gave her STD like if she using you as a punching bag she is being punched on whether that's physically spiritually, emotionally people just don't hurt people for no reason people hurt from their hurt so you always got to understand that and sometimes you got to realize that and just pray for and talk to them now check them like my sister I remember she was getting slick out the mouth I cut off it probably was about a year I ain't talked to my sister and that's my only sister when the Lord finally gave me the release to talk back to her I talked to her my sister ain't tried me since it's probably been a couple years my sister ain't tried me since because when I showed her that she could get cut off and that I don't need her to be peaceful and happy in my life and my life went on I ain't lose a wink of sleep and that's my only blood sister but my peace mean more I'm gonna protect my peace you're not finna run me to an early grave in the name of we blood no absolutely not I blocked her she couldn't even reach me my mom was begging me talk to your sister tomorrow ain't promise I say listen if she gone tomorrow I'd be at peace because I protected my peace and I ain't did nothing to her I ain't disrespect her so if that's how she want to go out that's on her I'm not finna let that I ain't finna let somebody abuse me beat up on me and dog me out and talk to me in any kind of way and take out all they pain on me absolutely not and I'm up at night and it's stressing me out I'm bout to have ulcers and I got stuff I got a word about listen don't matter who it is anybody could get cut off anybody could get cut off don't let nobody dry you to no early grave stressing you out remove them from your life and teach them a lesson that if you gonna come come correct well don't come at all don't have that kind of energy on them is it a good idea to cross baby daddy and tell his parents before he claim he will that they have another grand on the way during the month I mean that's your baby so you ain't got to tell his parents because that just that just nasty so those his parents that's his relationship with them let him tell them and if they never tell him that's on him because that's not their child that's your child so you really should not care about whether they know about the child or not because that child is your responsibility not theirs and so that is his parents and that's his relationship with them so you let him handle that and you stay out of that and you tell your mom and them and you worry about your relationship with your family because you never know what they have put him through and what type of pressure they have put on him to where he may feel like an absolute failure to be going to them telling them he got a child on the way because you don't know what type of verbal stuff he didn't went through emotional stuff he didn't went through so don't exacerbate that and make it worse just out of spite like just for no reason because them knowing not going to benefit you at all you see what I mean now you see what Sharon say if you ask one question already please don't post another one be a tonic, amen so y'all try to be respectful because some of y'all are gonna answer your question two or three times from you because you making this your own Q&A when y'all see it's a lot of questions in here that I'd have missed so y'all let me get the people who I miss before you post another question I live in Miami and believe it it's not hard to meet people here believe it or not everybody know that everybody know that what you feel the meat down there any advice I move here from New York that's another place hard to meet somebody find Miami to be a land for the lonely and single absolutely what's he supposed to be in a regular city you go to Miami for a holiday weekend like this right here Memorial Day you go to Miami for Club and get on out of there you know the Fontaine Blue Miami ain't good for nothing but you know a party Miami ain't nobody serious down there is Miami, Atlanta New York City them kind of places like that it's too fast it's too Hollywood it's too showy it's too ain't nobody really looking to settle down and have no family and raise no family unless they already was there you know and that's just all they know but like maybe the city is on the outskirts of Miami you know that maybe a little more homely a little more less you know showy and flashy and vain and superficial might suit you if you looking for something real but being down there in Miami they looking to scam that's who been down there using their credit card buying two three hundred dollar worth of sushi we on your we on your tail you about to go to prison nasty fraud stuff I called a sushi place that gave me your name and your phone number got your number to look your butt up on your tail got the police on you somebody might even have my credit card down there buying two three hundred dollar worth of sushi probably trying to feed the whole bar I say I cut now but that's how that's how it be down there so yeah God bless you so tired you might have to visit a little smaller city or something sometime go to Naples somewhere walk around told the guy moving weed was a turn off for me his response was ah okay I'll stay from around you was I being too harsh no you telling the truth that ain't too harsh now harsh would have been you know calling him oh no good sorry weed head old pot head you a low life pot head that would have been too harsh but saying smoking weed is a turn off for me and him saying okay I'll stay around from around you that just mean listen you're not you're not bigger than his addiction I don't want it I don't want you that bad as I want to hear green leaf so ah that's that's all he's saying so it's like appreciate that that he real and go on here about your business yeah tell me about it tell me about it somebody hack another one of my credit cards and bought a $2,500 medical device from somewhere alright but see you got no you got no liability on credit cards somebody hack you so I ain't worried about it cause I'm gonna get my money back and they butt going to jail stop blah blah nobody putting nothing on your books what are three ways to break soul ties easier said than done you're in the right place keep doing the work keep doing the work it's just really time distance space and new knowledge you know if you get new knowledge and you're not talking to that person entertaining that person in that way in a romantic way time and space then that's gonna help you alright Tony can I begin healing and trusting my sister who dated a man I publicly dated right after me it has hurt me she's apologized and my heart went out for her based on her reason yeah you can forgive especially hearing her reason and why she did it like think about this she really got to be down bad she really got to be lonely to where she about to lose it she about to pull her hair out she losing it like to date a man that you publicly dated and you her sister like think about where you got to be in your life to do that like she down bad and so yeah you can forgive you know love her and she apologized she explained why she did it and if a part of it was she feel you prettier than her she feel you always get the man she feel you better than her she feel you get more opportunity than her and she will feel good about having your sloppy seconds and so you know and that stuff that she may not articulate but that's really where a person got to be to do that to their blood sibling so you know you got to understand that right now let me see um put your hashtag Q in front of your question I try to scroll up and catch what I've missed but y'all forgive me I'm 24 and I don't understand me and playing video games is this something that can or should be overlooked um it can be overlooked and it should be overlooked as long as it's not obsessive you know I mean obsessive or excessive as long as like he plays and he playing you know an hour or two hours sometimes you may go four hours if he go across four hours and he do that more than one time a week twice a week at the most he he getting a little lost he getting a little lost in the sauce especially if he bagging where it need to be now if his money up and he got money and that's what he doing his free time then it's better than him surfing the well on a nasty site on Instagram like in booty models pictures so you know stimulating his brain giving him a challenge so he just got to look at is this thing intrusive is it he's super addicted or this is this just his hobby you know and then look at what you like to do and how many hours you give to your hobbies and the things you like to do how do you know when you're ready to date after a divorce when you could love like you've never been hurt before that come from a daddy my daddy told me that when I was trying to heal and do right and stuff like that by my wife and he say when you could love like you've never been hurt before that's when you know you ready and so that goes for the same thing after the divorce if you gonna go into a situation to your next relationship and you gonna give the person two strikes and they ain't even step to the plate then you're not ready finally built up the stream to leave the father of my kids six months ago after watching your videos he put me through two months acts nice now and like we're still together and won't move out how to move on well you say you left him well you really ain't left him then sister you left him y'all live together you ain't gone nowhere y'all still together sister you ain't left till you gone so if you don't have the money to move out you ain't got a person last month then y'all still together he still touch you in the arm distance he's over there listening to this right here plodding on me how he finna get to me cause you said you left him after watching my videos don't give me your credit don't give me your credit you left him for you you left him cause you want to leave him now don't give me no credit because he come over here you see what I'm saying that's why I tell y'all do not mention me don't give me no credit for leaving a relationship because I want every man to be there for their kids and if one of these men come at me they gonna be with the Lord and I don't want that I want everybody to be here on this earth for their children for with their family with their loved ones so don't y'all mention me anything you do that's on you that's what you did that was your choice so understand that and two that's the thing when you want to leave when you want to be done with a relationship you can't just wait on somebody else to leave if you got the sacrifice you got to work overtime you got to save money you got to rob Peter the paypal to get on up out of there to show that person that you really bought this life and you really bought this moving on that's what you got to do because sometimes in a relationship we take a gambling we lose and sometimes when you lose a gamble you lose your whole shirt you lose your whole house you lose your savings when you gambling and so when you love pursuing love in a relationship is a gamble and so you got to be willing to cut your losses you got to be willing to have bad credit for a season for eviction or for something to hit your credit to get out of that toxic situation you got to be willing to go on about your business and that really lets that person know that you are extremely serious and so really that's what he's waiting on he's like well if you ain't going to leave you ain't really serious about leaving me that's what he's telling himself a little bit of this weps of God is it weird to want to wait until a daughter is grown to date seriously daughter is almost 8 and I've been divorced 4 years friends say don't wait that long thank you for your wisdom 8 to date seriously well here's the thing it really comes down to how you define dating seriously so if you mean letting a man move in with you as dating seriously then it's not weird to want to wait until she's grown if you mean going on a date with a man and y'all being exclusive and y'all being an item but when you are with him you're leaving the house and your daughter has a babysitter a family member or you dropping her off at your best friend house or whoever and you going on a date and then you coming back picking up y'all going home or somebody coming over that you know love and trust that's watching your daughter and you on a date and even when your daughter get a little older if it's your mom or somebody that you know love and trust you know that's not a man or that's not a woman that you know like little girls or what have you somebody that you know safe they not crazy they emotionally intelligent you could trust them to chaperone your daughter to watch your daughter you could even take a trip with your boyfriend you know and y'all going for two nights like you could date seriously with a child but what you should not do is try to put that man in your child life until you have thoroughly thoroughly vetted him and you know that that is your husband and that y'all engaged and you extremely happy he has proposed because even after he proposed you still got a year before you have the wedding or six months or however long and so you've had time you need to take when you have a child you need to take at least two years when you meet somebody it need to be at least two years before you marry this person when you finna bring them into your life and you got a child because essentially having a child having a child was really it was like an attempt to have a life partner you didn't just have a child from somebody that you didn't see yourself being with you wanted to be with that person you wanted to make it work now not ten times that's why sometimes a one night stand and what have you so when you had that child it's really the other side of wanting to be with somebody and from sleeping with somebody unprotected so you have to expect that to change your life some to change the trajectory the path of your life and so it's okay being single as long as you need to as long as you want to but then when your heart really starts to yearn for a relationship it's okay to date you just have to have boundaries it's okay to date seriously you just have to have boundaries so that you are the front line for your child you are the front line of defense so that the person you're dating you are vetting them and you making sure they sound they safe they smart they good hearted they responsible integral all of these things before you allow them to be in your child's life to meet your child know your child and you know be around your child and all that meditation room God bless you now hello Tony I need your advice I have a pastor who talks negative about me and makes false judgments about me personally he avoids talking to me I feel so defeated and confused that why he doesn't I'm just I feel confused with you now I mean do the church got a board if the church got a board the Bible say you know to go to that person with a witness so me personally it's like do you and the pastor got history did y'all sleep together you out of all the people is it like a schoolyard crush and he like you and you ain't give him no play like why he picking on you out of all the people so we're missing something now I find it hard I believe pastor just looked like that oh okay huh let me talk bad by huh yeah let me take my this guy up in Congress and remember right here that terrible you know get on in my menstrual life and talk about the pastor and you talk through this here now me personally I'm going to the board on this but I'm going to the board on them you stand up here representing God you're a man in a cloth and you're acting childish and petty I got to go to the board on you got to go to the board on you you're still acting childish and petty I might have to go to social media on you but you said I mean I don't anybody that's representing God I don't play with them I take the gloves off I don't play don't be out here representing God if you ain't gonna do it the right way now after a long term relationship I go from it and and get myself together but men seem to just jump right into the next thing is that why their new situation will fail typically it'll fail but not all the time you know so the way men are a lot of time what we do as men is we heal if we trying to heal we heal with the next woman and that's the backwards and messed up thing that a lot of men do but I believe it's because as men the world kind of caters to us in the sense of a lot of time the man had a mama or a grandma or an auntie but even if in the group home the women's staff the female staff versus the male staff cooked clean dishes did laundry so men are so accustomed to being taken care of by a woman that a lot of men don't know how to be single don't know how to be without a woman taking care of him physically or emotionally like cooking and cleaning it's a select group of men who can do that but that's not common a lot of men need a woman in their life to be doing his laundry or cooking his food or washing his clothes or you know just taking care of him mentally and emotionally and so that's why as men we go from woman to woman whereas with women you raise more independent a lot of women are taught by their mother or their grandmother how to cook at like nine ten between nine and thirteen a lot of women are taught how to take care of a house and how to be independent and a lot of men don't get that same teaching some do but most men don't get that same teaching because most men have a sister and the sister is taught how to do that stuff because of gender roles it ain't I'm not saying it's right but I'm saying this is what's real so that's why men heal differently than women because men a lot of times have been catered to and taken care of by a woman and so that was the experience of most men that I know and mama just being there mama doing everything and then even mama bailing us out of jail over and over again mama fighting the principal because the principal want to suspend us from school for a fight we started like mama has always took care of her boy and made sure he was straight and fought for him stood up for him took up for him and so men get spoiled by that and always kind of want to have a woman on the roster whereas a woman a lot of time mothers are mean to their daughter you ain't gonna get no husband if you don't know how to cook you need know how to clean you need know how to cook you ain't gonna be worth nothing and so a lot that's why you see so much contention between mothers and daughters and then you see the son get kind of baby by the mama but the daughter get cursed out and so that's the from you know from the beginning of time from Adam and Eve you know came and they were there were two sons but they didn't even mention the daughters that they had but you see what they did to each other and so that's really what it is it ain't just that men are just degenerate it really come down to societal you know constructs that shape the way we interact in our our relationships Miss J. God bless you now why would parents tell their child to stay in a toxic relationship and tell the child why would parents tell their child stay in a toxic relationship and tell the child to stay and let the other person pay all the bills until they are able to leave is that wrong no it ain't necessarily wrong it's just the parent giving the best idea the best idea that they could give but it just come from not knowing any better so I mean yeah technically it's wrong but it just the parent don't know no better that's what the parent seem done that's what the parent saw they saw a lot of a lot of women put up with a man who was cheating who was a dog and it was because he paid the bills and she felt like I can't leave because I don't have any money so if she did that or she saw her mama do that or she saw this person over here do that then that's what she's gonna tell that's what she gonna tell her daughter to do just stay till you get something that's what she gonna tell and so you have to realize that and and really be mindful that sometimes just people telling you what they do and they don't know any better why does it seem like men don't really approach women anymore social media you right it is right it's social media just so it's a smorgasbord it's a buffet a lot of men could go in their inbox online and meet women in the DM all day to where that becomes so intoxicating and so enabling that men a lot of men don't see the need to approach a woman and have to face rejection in public in his face whereas other people watching other people see him get rejected get turned down and as men before social media we had to wear that we had to wear that crown and some men who couldn't wear that crown used to spaz up like all men had a homeboy that when he shoot this shot and that woman turn him oh yo stinky bitch that why you ugly anyway ain't even want your ugly a see that was your old spanking ain't your old ain't even want you help my homeboy put a bed up and he going on he spazzing out and it's really because his feelings hurt cause he was like no thank you I'm straight no thank you and he just upset and it get worse than that I literally have seen people on the news women on the news who turned the man down and the man took the woman life like it get that real that some men so fragile that they can't deal with another form of rejection because his daddy rejected him his mama rejected him the football team rejected him the basketball team rejected him his friends rejected him the school rejected him so now he approached his woman and she reject him he don't know how to deal with rejection but he can't beat the law he couldn't be the football coach he couldn't be the daddy so he take it out on his woman cussing her out doing this and that so now to avoid that rejection a lot of men or rather just shoot a shot in the DM where nobody sees it but him and that woman and if she ignores him or rejects him he could play it off don't tell nobody that that happened and so social media has really you know taken away from having the confidence to go you know up to women and approach women shoot they shot Nikita Lewis post your question again Nikita you alright Sarah you alright you ain't know you ain't know till we told you God bless you Miss Bubba your ministry have been a blessing to me as a thank you hear a gift a question for your wife sorry for the intrusion started journal of the small things she do that remind you of why you love her that's all you do thanks for all you do Miss Bubba I really appreciate that I actually did that already and when I tell you when she read the thing one by one she started crying she started crying what we did as call a blessings jar and so we got this Mason jars and we put stickers and all kind of designs on it from Michael you all got forgiven the internet cutting in and not I don't know my wife might be having Netflix on now some internet cutting in and not probably it's probably trying to tell me to get off here you too like man you know too much bandwidth get your butt on off here me God bless you what to do I feel uncomfortable around my brother new wife he cheated on ex-wife with her new wife extra friendly I don't talk to the new wife well you got to look at this you know that's your brother did that the woman ain't do nothing you know that's that's your brother did that so you need to be upset with your brother not with the new woman you know because that's your brother that he made so you need to be talking to him and be upset with him and if she the new woman extra friendly that's because she trying she actually cares she trying to come in and say hey listen I you know this one just me out here she knew about the other wife she you know she trying to say this one just me I want to be your friend sis you know and cause if she was nasty she'll be like try kiss my behind I got your brother your brother taking care of me your brother doing everything I want him to do I don't care nothing about you or how you feel that's how some women who nasty will be but she coming in being extra friendly she trying to say listen I know we ain't this ain't start the way you want it but you know so don't be mad with her and that be the thing and that's what I say like as a man I had to get to where I want accountability as a man if I cheat on my wife with another woman and I leave my wife for another woman that's on me because a lot of times this other woman don't even know that a man got a wife or this other woman is being told the marriage is done the marriage is over everything shot that's why I'm talking to you so a lot of times this other woman she completely in the dark and she feeling like the marriage over and he done and cause that's what a man going to do is try to assure her that the marriage is over and that she ain't doing nothing wrong by talking to him but see this is the thing a lot of times as men we get off because our sister get mad at the new woman our mama get mad at this woman our mama get mad at the ex sister get mad at the ex like a lot of times the woman get blame when it was a man doing the dirt and doing the damage so sometimes you really got to look at it and if it was a woman it was a woman and you got to look at that too but in this situation that's your brother doing there appears to be a lot of talk among the so called that men tend to not date women of their generation and prefer to date younger women um well for one you know Sarah um let's not come on here and get these guys no pull and be saying their name and spelling their whole little movement out because everybody don't know what that is and what that's about so now you can have a lot of people going to Google and giving people views and making them money so in the future just say it seems to be talk amongst other men that many men tend not to date women of their generation and prefer to date younger women and that is true that is true and like what I told you even somebody working for the devil will say stuff that is true and that is true a lot of men are on that a lot of men on that and when I look right next to me you know a lot of men that I know they women is way younger than them like a decade or more me personally I don't understand it because that's nasty to me as a 37 year old man I would not want a 27 year old woman I don't care how good she doing in her life I don't care how smart she is that's not attractive to me I wouldn't want a 25, 23, 24 because at 37 I'm like no offense to y'all that age but I'm kind of like you're a little too young you look too cuckoo for cocoa puff you look too canned salmon follow the rainbow like I got too many words of knowledge and wisdom that on top of you that we can't really vibe on no conversation on the depths that I want to go because them extra 10 years talk to me this person ain't never seen so the thing a lot of times be careful what I say because it's guys that I know personally like that I'm cool with that's my homeboys that they women is younger now for some of them I know they just kind of met the woman they bumped into the woman found out later she was younger for me personally that have been the end of oh you too young I'm gone but for whatever reason some men they they were that younger woman and some of the reasons is nasty stuff that you can't talk about here and it's just a mindset of thinking that you know uh less mileage you know less less experience less men less you should I mean so they thinking like let me get something the woman that's newer versus a woman that then got as much miles as me that's what they thinking then sometimes it's let me have somebody they thinking they want somebody that they could dominate meaning that they could control mentally and they can re-raise they could teach them everything they need to know so that the student never passes the teacher and so a lot of times men will do that out of weakness and insecurity they want a younger woman so they could raise her so they could train her so they could teach her so they could get over on her because she hasn't heard all the games she hasn't seen all the games so when he run that game she like whoa okay she ain't know what he'll play up front of him a layer you see what I mean so sometimes that's what that is unless the Cooper God bless you how do you know Tiffany that probably Tiffany might be further back in the video than where we at and don't realize I already answered her question so Tiffany if you hear live watch the video again question already got answered so it's the God bless met an industry guy a week ago we have gone on two dates in a row he left for shows while at airport invited me over and I said I'm not ready did I do the right thing while at airport invited me over and I said I'm not ready I do the right thing yeah I kind of confused on what you saying if he invited you up to the airport or while he was at airport he invited you to come on the road for his shows if he invited you to come on the road for his shows then and you say you not ready and you honestly not ready then yeah you did the right thing you know but if he was asking you to come up to the airport and sit and talk with him while he you know before he go back to the gate you know I really which I assume you mean maybe go on the road but yeah you did the right thing though cause two weeks you don't know that man could be some kind of tip under um yeah sister I'm not sure what FOMS mean and I have had father of my son maybe and I have had problems recently gave myself to Christ he born Christian but he sins a lot and don't want to change but wants me to change a lot and blames me for our turmoil should I stay away yup yup go on stay away anytime you with somebody man or woman they go both ways anytime you with somebody and they can't accept their fault what they doing wrong look themselves in the mirror grow and change and meet you there then they're not the person for you hey y'all don't be on here by 17 more minutes look like my wife done working so I think she sent my text but she could have been responding to my text so I don't know if she wanted me but she would come get me if she wanted me I decided I would work I don't know if she's still moving around I trust your judgment Tony and I'm really not sure what kind of energy I give off looks wise I get approach where men will compliment me and say I'm beautiful but will literally walk away that is men who take in those taking men who trying to be faithful and so what I was mentioning earlier sometimes for men talking to a woman is a little old offer just talking to a woman so a man who is taking and he trying to be faithful he may just come in a woman and say oh you beautiful hold on right quick he may just compliment a woman and you know tell that woman oh you beautiful oh you beautiful I just want to let you know you beautiful and gone by this business and so for him it's like he maybe was used to hollering at women and sleeping with women and cheating so now that he's in a relationship he feel like about the burst and so just that little comment that little conversation give him a release and you know I remember when I first started trying to be faithful in my life I felt that I really felt that and so I understand that so a lot of times it's just a man he actually taking but if he's single and he think you look good he gone hollering at you now me and my baby daddy broke up September 2019 I gave birth October 2019 we were at odds for the longest we recently slept together he has a girlfriend I feel bad and told him this can't happen again and he flipped the script on me hmm well I mean sister you played yourself you played yourself you know you got in your feelings and you got beside yourself and you got your little plumbing done and then you then you want to run off on the plug and not pay for the plumbing that you done and so that why he flipped the script on you like listen I ain't push you down in the bed I ain't make you get in the bed you know I got a girlfriend you hops on your back and you all with it and then the next day you wake up with a conscience what's going on now so what he's why he flipped the script cause he's saying you sending mixed signals either you a classy respectable woman you love yourself and we done or you want to play friends with benefits and be more let me be your splacker valley and be the woman on the side so he flipped the script blaming on you to say listen you did this too now don't wake up the next day holier than now after you done got your fix then come in there got your plumbing together so now you want to kick me back to the curb and then when you need some more plumbing a year later when you bring him back fall in the bed again and then wake up with a conscience the next day so it's like you have to as a grown woman you got to make a decision am I in or am I done and you should be done cause he got a new girlfriend so ask yourself if you with a man would you want his child's mother to be open sesame for him when he want her to be open sesame you would want her as a woman to respect that you that he's your boyfriend and that him and her are done and you would want her as a woman to remove herself from the equation and not be available to him so that's how you have to move in your life and do what you would want done for you even if that wasn't going to happen you don't want to be sowing bad seeds cause then you going to reap what you sow so you see what I mean so being that you here in the Q and A and not him you have to look at what you did we can't really preach at him and what he did cause he not here he ain't trying to get help he ain't trying to grow and change he going to be who he going to be so you have to look at and say what did I do wrong in this situation and what can I do differently going forward and so you know you can't be mad about him flipping the script now that's really you wanting to flip the script so you ain't got to keep getting played into that bed let me see trying to see if I miss anything but why do most young men approach me like more than a decade because that's a fantasy that's a fantasy and it's a notch in the bell so a young man want to sleep with an older woman because it's an experience you know just like if a man could a man would have variety in every area of his life so if a man could every man would have 2-3 houses every man would have 2-3 4 cars every man would have 3-4 watches every man would have 100 pair shoes men we are have a short attention span on average not every man but most of us have a short attention span and we want variety in some area or in every area that we able to have variety and so when a young man approach an older woman he could thank you pretty he could thank you beautiful but it's really because that's also another notch in the bell it's another fantasy to fulfill and it's very rarely is it genuine like oh I just really want to be with a woman that's older than me it's very rarely that would you recommend dating a man ay y'all we got 10 more minutes now would you recommend dating a man who has been divorced I'm 26 he's 31 marriage ended 2 and a half years ago in a red flag to look out for what you want to look out for or to see if he healed when you talking to him see if you hear damage see if you hear resentment towards women see if he sounds bitter see if he's bashing her too much talking bad about her too much see what's going on there would you Tony think about creating a dating site for your fan base well I thought about it but here's the thing I don't do anything just for money if I do something base my audience on youtube is 95% women so if I create a dating site the dating site will be 95% women so then I'll be doing the same thing as the rest of the dating site so that's why I don't create a dating site because I got some ideas that can make them better and kind of weed out some of the riffraff but it won't matter if it's all women you know what I mean because it just real man is not into online dating and even those who would get on online dating as real men if it still would just be stealing money from women until you get a lot of men enough men that'll get on there so if I was to do it I would have an enrollment period where only men can enroll for like 6 months and get like 1000 10,000 men on there and then open it to the women to where women can get on there because other than that you just can have pervs and creeps on there and scammers on there but real men really either in a season of solace with the lord or they know that anytime they ready for a wife they can walk outside and meet that woman so it's not a lot of real men pay to be on a dating site Tony Wynn does a man fully mature because I'm tired of these men every man different now every man different today it's looking like 35 which is old for maturity but today it's looking like 35 but I see a lot of men 40, 45 50 still ain't mature and it's blowing my mind but we working in this day and age well you got to know what you're pursuing and you got to make sure your goals are purpose based you got to be rooted and something for me I'm rooted in Jesus Christ rooted in the lord and so that's what keep me from losing my soul so we should not give your number if he is in 30s and you are 60 moderators y'all can start working now moderators I appreciate y'all I appreciate y'all now come on now person it was that a real question now come on now but you know what that was a real question because some 60 old is with them a 30 old moderators let's let some be here laughing faces get on in here a little bit just so personal we can see what that question sound like appreciate y'all moderators you can take the night off I really appreciate y'all thank you but yeah that right there that was precious God bless you we got six minutes now we count down I'm ready to get on off of here now I know I'm gonna do an hour I don't have only why I did two hours tonight and the light ain't got me sweating there's no time to light go to get me worked up y'all definitely cause I'ma tell you now if a 30 year old want a 60 old even a 60 old is absolutely gorgeous they want her for her money for her stability you know where she at in her life met this guy been talking three weeks looked on Facebook saw a girl with his initial around her neck sent him a request and he didn't accept but still wants to talk should I ask about her and her hearts um I mean you could ask about her if you put two and two together and it looks like she is for him like that's his that's him like he friends with her they got a picture together because she she could know somebody they got the same initials so you just kind of got to do a little bit more investigative digging if you added him on Facebook and he didn't add you in this social media age that's always a red flag when the person you dating the person you talking to won't add you on social media that's a red flag because we are in a social media age that where social media is a part of our lives Kelsey God bless you thank you so much Tony I'm so grateful to you and your wife I bought your book a woman's influence and it is helping find value and confidence in myself I ever grateful God let me to you Kelsey God bless you I'm gonna love my boy God bless you Kelsey I really appreciate you because I'm glad you got that book now y'all make sure if you read a woman's influence that you leave a review five stars if you don't think it's five stars keep that to yourself but God bless you I thank you appreciate you for that Mama Tish we ain't gonna celebrate we ain't gonna celebrate don't don't don't I don't want you counting on numbers cause I don't want nobody out there to think that we care about that so we just gonna another day in the park you feel me another day in the park you know how we do it appreciate the moderators now is it bad to date someone who is insecure about his job and it's my age 26 no I mean it's good to be insecure by the job cause that mean he want more for himself that mean he want he want better he wanna go to another level so you know you gotta that's alright gave it five stars I wish I could give it more Rosalie God bless you God bless you got the first part here how to deal with family members putting you down cut them off don't deal with nobody putting you down put that phone down on them so they can't reach you never put that down anytime somebody put you down it's really because they jealous of you then the brown God bless you and the presentation as always thank you so much we got three more minutes now I'm scrolling up to see if I miss you I'm 21 I have a soul tied with him since young and we now have a son we were engaged but he cheated and we have been on and off for the past year having spoken in two months advice is this love nope it's not love unfortunately it's not love if it's love he wouldn't put you through all of that especially after having a son with you a son I mean that's a man pride and joy cause that's a boy you could punch him in the chest flip him up in the air catch him or miss him and let him hit the ground and tell him to get on you know it's like I'm joking but I mean if the man you had this man's son and he's cheating and playing around what this is is a case of not being raised right y'all parents should have told y'all don't you be doing no dating don't you be doing no loving don't you be doing no boyfriend girlfriend being fast know you not dating nobody know you not your parents should have really been in there they're not paying attention they're not in there like that we get in stuff and you don't know what you're doing so y'all was trying to love before you knew what love was before he knew who he was before he knew what he wanted before he knew what he was doing y'all had created this little connection just out of curiosity curiosity killed a cat and so now that y'all are older he realized this ain't where I want to be this ain't what I want I want to live my life and you being a woman being more naturally mature you like hey if this were to work I'm with it like if we could be a family I'm with it if he could mature and be a real man I'm with it and he like I don't know what I want I don't know who I am I don't know what I'm doing I don't know where I'm going I don't know why I'm in this I don't know why I'm having unprotected sex so a lot of times it's just a difference in maturity levels what we thought we liked when we was younger we grow out of that and now you feeling kind of stuck because y'all did what it take to have a baby and you didn't have this child and so this is where we have to you make sure you teach your son no dating no dating till you grown, till you 18 and you know what love is you in college or when you get your degree you can meet your wife in college but don't be trying to do all this and we as parents have to instill in our children stop letting your children think that hey no more questions now no more questions I'm just talking finish or just laugh because this is what the parents need because you see how we as parents this is grown people we all on here grown and look at the questions that I'm answering as adults but yet we had a nerve as parents to think it's cute when our sons and daughters have boy friend and girl friends in the ninth grade in the eighth grade in the seventh grade there's so many boys and girls at my son's school in the ninth grade talking about their dating and their relationship my wife showing me pictures of people in my son's school where the girl is in a bikini jumping up on the boy and her legs wrapped around the boy and they in eighth ninth grade and they kissing in the picture and parents think that stuff cute and then the next thing you know they end up sleeping together 18, 19 pregnant and don't even know what love is don't even know what a relationship is so if you got kids make sure that you're teaching your kids about school work grinding focus, being busy all of that right now and not allowing your teenagers to holler about I got a boy friend I got a girl friend and all of that stuff right now lovey dovey I said no more questions now lovey dovey said no more questions don't y'all send no more questions now especially in panford come on now, I'm already done I'm a minute old, I'm done now no more questions for those y'all just coming in lovey dovey the last one hi Tony a man told me I have something I'm smart and easy on the eyes and could use my beauty as a tool what's your take he basically saying that a lot of women look like you getting bald that's the sense of what he's saying that a lot of women that if all the women got to do is be pretty and a man to get her anything she want that's what he's saying and for the most part that's true because a lot of men the day that got money and they get a woman and they really just buy her some of the men look like sorry what some of these men look like some of the men look like this right here look like the bottom of this flip flop and what have them a woman that look like she stepped out of magazine a man look like this here a hand sanitizer and what have a woman that look like she stepped out of magazine and it's because he got money and that woman ain't got to do nothing but look pretty a lot of time people because my wife is beautiful they try to they think that she is with me for money but me and my wife were broke for a decade plus we was broke my wife with me for love cause I ain't have nothing off of her but love I ain't have nothing in my name but a driver license and barely had that God that's a spend of the time or two probably not paying registration or something so listen to me that's what's happening today and that's why I want women to understand stop using your beauty for a man with money stop getting bald stop being okay with just bags and cars and a nice house and a man treating like crap he dog and yacht like don't be okay with that really know who you are if you want and require more than just a man having money and status in the community or a name in the world or what have you hey God bless you you right love it ever God bless that probably what he's talking about God bless you and we'll talk soon y'all take care now I'll try to get back on here tomorrow if I can sometime