 Gilbert Bucks had a little game that he played in his free time lately. He sat in front of his computer, played one of his old New World Order Exposed videos, opened a bottle of bourbon, and then took a shot whenever he was right. Gilbert watched Video Gilbert stand in front of a dry erase board. He had drawn a rectangle on it. It looked like someone had chewed off one corner. Suspenseful stock music played in the background. Something is happening in Kansas. Video Gilbert drew a circle in one of the edges that hadn't been not at. Last week I caught word that there was a man out west who was struck by lightning and survived. If you think that's strange, you haven't been watching me long enough. What really matters is what happened afterward. I got to interview him and you're about to hear some of the audio I taped from the encounter. The screen faded into black with the caption, This happened right in our backyards. Okay, what can you tell me about the days between the accident and when they showed up? An old man's voice responded, Well, nothing really. I just went long building. Describe the encounter then. I think I went to the door. I was in the middle of, I was holding a wrench and I opened the door. Then I was sitting down like I was about to watch TV but I didn't have one. I think I had thrown it out or hooked it up to something but everything I had been putting together was gone. Basement was clean. You have memories missing? All of it. I only know about the lightning because of my health insurance and because of the lightning flower. What's that? When you get struck, it can leave a mark on your skin that, oh here, take a look. There was a pause and some rustling. The old man had turned around and lifted up a shirt. Yeah, I see it. It looks like a huge tree tattooed into your back. It's faded now but it was a lot worse back then. And I only remembered what to build because one of the bits was head out back. I made one of them. Electric eels like out of some computers to middle school throughout. Then there was a crashing noise. Good golly, I gotta see what's going on down there. Then there was some mumbling and the old man said, no, no, no, you ain't allowed down there. I think you better be. The audio cut off and Gilbert showed up again. Now we can see two things are immediately apparent. One, he counted on his fingers. The lightning strike caught some sort of change in him that can't be explained by science. Gulp, Gilbert downed a shot. Two, he's been used to create some sort of machines and someone is taking those machines for their own uses. Gulp, close enough. You know what I think? That lightning was more than just bad weather. It was a beacon. Someone was teaching him. Gulp, someone alien and that memory blank was them coming to collect. Clink, he set the shot glass on his desk. There's something among us, folks. Something that's using us for its own ends, then wiping our memories of the experience. Gulp, something inhuman. Clink, the rest was contact information. Gilbert cut it off. Then he looked at the bottle. Damn, he thought, I should have been better at this. Gilbert stopped over at the used bookstore the next day. Kathy had wanted him to meet her there and he felt like picking up something to read. There was a wiry kid in front of him in line who could have been Gilbert 10 years ago. The boy was looking for something in particular. It's got a bright red cover with sort of a, I don't know the term, art nouveau, pop art? It's got a design on it and the title is Star Something. Sorry, the girl at the counter said. I know what you're talking about and I'm pretty sure we sold it yesterday. The boy went to check self-help and Gilbert rang up just as Kathy walked in. Kathy was middle-aged. She was God's warrior on the frontlines against the encroaching Satanic movement and wore a kitten sweater. She had Gilbert and the counter girl a Xeroxed flyer. Demonic danger to children. The Satanic Child Pain Foundation have kidnapped an American girl for their sick rituals and she has grown up as a drug-controlled slave-drone for the European Science Cult. They call her SCP-2319. 23 is an ancient Bavarian Illuminati magic number and they teach her perverted Harry Potter underage magic in New York. If you have any Christian love, resist the New World Order, 666 Scientific Kidnapping Program and their Ketter Hebrew Lizard Masters. The pair sat down. Kathy set the stack of handouts on the table. Gil, why did you want to see me? What? I thought you asked me to come here. No? Oh. Well? I guess I just wondered what you've been up to? Up to? She tapped the flyers. I don't think my feet would touch the ground all week. Gilbert leaned over to scratch his head. It's all true, Kathy. All of it. I don't know what you mean. This, the truth, isn't out there anymore. It's right here. Gilbert held up a copy of Newsweek. The cover photograph depicted a dark-skinned child holding up a crude but accurate drawing of the Pepsi logo. Virus culture. What are memetic hazards? How are companies using them legally? And why has one convinced this boy that this is what faces look like? Newsweek has a scoop on me. My job is pretty much over. You're just giving up on fighting the conspiracy? Kathy pointed at the flyer in Gilbert's hand. I'm trying harder than ever. It's there to fight. According to the Times, 239 is in US custody and they've told her that whatever magic they try to teach her doesn't work. 231 was someone else and the Guardian says that she was handed over to the GOC because she wasn't actually human or isn't anymore or something. I don't even know who that is in the photograph. Kathy cringed at the mention. The Global Occult Coalition. Both occult and global sounded like profanity coming from her. They're the evil army of the one world government. Like the Peace Corps and FEMA combined. Times 10. What? No, they aren't. That SCP thing is being cut up and served governments like a sheet cake and the GOC is trying to keep this stuff out of their hands. They're doing the right thing here. Gilbert, everyone thinks they know the truth. But we know better. At least I thought we did. A thought crossed Gilbert's mind. Was she in denial? He stopped himself from saying it. Instead, he tapped the stack of newspapers and magazines. It all adds up. Positive proof. You don't have to rely on conspiracy theories. Gilbert turned paler. That's not what I meant. Yes, it is. Kathy picked up her fliers. I should go pick up the kids from soccer. Still homeschooling? Gilbert tried to change the subject, but Kathy wasn't having it. She stood up, went to leave, then turned around for a last thought. What happened to you, Gilbert? You're reading mainstream media. You're just like them. She waved an arm in no particular direction. Or maybe they're just like me. That night, Gilbert sat down and read everything he could from all his old favorite sites. It was nothing he didn't know already. He wanted to get excited. He wanted to find something. But it was all true. All of it. Gil opened YouTube and scrolled through his account playlist until he found it. Forget everything you know. Bigfoot is real. Gilbert was about to get wasted. And a file. To learn more about the SCP Foundation, subscribe to SCP Orientation Today and turn the notification bell on so you don't miss any of our videos.