 At the end of the day, that's my own Michael's and bicycles are the rumors true about you retiring after this season Yes, absolutely. You can't leave What about me where will I go? Who's coach will I stay on? How will your retirement affect the Texans long-term? How did you ever think about how your choices will hurt those who love you? No, listen one I didn't even know we were sleeping on my couch a b. It's fine. It's not the first time I've been abandoned by someone I care about so long coach I Listen, okay, listen. I have an opportunity to move on to some different pastures And I don't really want to talk about it right now, but we'll talk about it at the end of the season, okay? But yes, this will be my final season coaching the Austin football Texans, okay? I'm sorry Stephen Michaels. It's been a while boys. Do you remember how play? Good question. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final Playoff run for the Houston Texans This is the last time that I'll play Madden. This is the last madden franchise. I'm gonna do for a while All right, gentlemen, listen up. Listen up. Okay. I know this ain't been easy. This ain't been easy It's been a long hard road. We had a lot of injuries this year But we came back we overcome and I know a lot of people have been talking about why the hell did we trade our Entire future of this franchise and why the hell is half my body missing? I don't know There's some questions. I can't answer and there's some questions that only God can answer Okay, that's one of them. But one of the questions that I can't answer is I Traded the entire future of this football team because I don't ask when to make you all This will be my last season Coaching the Houston the Austin Texans gonna be my last season out here coaching y'all and this playoff run is our last run I know we ain't won a Super Bowl yet, but we're gonna go out there and I want y'all to go Put it all on the line. Okay. That's all I can ask for When losing different don't matter Okay, all the matters you give your best now consequently if you give your best I expect to win So if we lose that I know that you didn't give your best So if we lose I'm gonna be pissed at you I'm probably gonna hate y'all for the rest of your lives. Okay, so go out there play your damn ass off We're gonna win the damn ballgame. Okay? AJ Dylan break them out. Let's do this Been long enough chat this game time After blowing your load 16 toes today, what's left in the tank? No, I'd that ain't true. I just said I just said some horses Yeah, oh easy pick already. Oh my gosh Carson wins Just the first first play Marjaxon Boom JT Murray the rookie tight end Michael Gallup. Ooh nice. Oh wait, that was third down Oh Frank. Oh God Drake a frick. Oh My what that was terrible defense. Oh My Good deed. Oh, hey, so something about the peel box Apparently people were saying that my peel box was full and they were getting freaking touchdowns. Do we super sim? Or do we start it over? Wait, this is pretty good playing it from here is pretty good Good hit send in the wrong place. I don't think so. Oh I should I should I hand it off Nice to the folks no What? No way No, he is down wait, he actually wasn't down Oh the elbow his elbow his elbow at the ground His knee didn't hit the ground, but it's all of it Limer they give the 17 months. No, he was down chat. He was down. Okay. We're good. We are good. We're saved Nice you're gonna pass it to Godwin just kidding we're gonna run it Nice nice Good converted and scored a touchdown look at you feel good you play you look you feel good you play got true Dude, I hate whenever you if you sell out if you press Y and you sell out They like throw their whole body at it and they lose their momentum and they can't change their You know what I mean? That was so sick that was the sickest five-yard run ever dude, let's go jet sweep Zeebo, oh Oh, that was so close Oh line. Hello or D line. Hello. Where'd you go chat? Listen? Let me tell you about something. Okay? I don't know if you've heard about this before but it's called the rule of 14 Okay, so what the rule of 14 means it's anytime you're within 14 points. No matter what there's always a chance, okay? There's always a chance. Don't get rattled. Don't get worried. Don't get scared. It's gonna be fine Play action it's running up. It's the flag Oh He stepped out of bounds Nice Lamar Jackson what a play I do over two so I can keep it so I can get it within three points It's like a challenge to believe believe We didn't sell it. Oh my god, it's so lucky trip Don Melvin the diving interception. Nice. Okay, here we go chat Drake dude Drake is an animal too Dude, I actually have two nasty running backs My running back are insane. Okay, RPO run pass option. They're gonna think it's a run Okay, that was a pick that was terrifying Okay, we're getting the comeback going chat Man, we are done. We're not gonna have time to invite if I win the Super Bowl today We're not gonna have time to finish until tomorrow. I need to go for it That they'll make it up up three so they can just kick a field ball. It's only a tie. Okay. There it is, dude Now defense has to hold Defense has to hold if defense holds we win This field is just outside the goal line. Only changes the game boom Just like that Easy Fudge down. Let the kids play. They're gonna take a good long look at it Bearded coach leading Cal men to the Super Bowl throwing no ice cream rule of 14 read option Looking at that defensive end if he sits I hand it off if the defensive end comes then I go He's coming My gosh clean Is in this game is just completely absurd at this point gosh oh my goodness insane dude what a game actually what I did I missed the madden series man big thank you all for joining me today obviously we're incredibly proud of what this team was able to do going out for the first playoff win of the season excuse me the first way yeah first playoff one season so I did announce to my team prior to prior to the start of the game that this is going to be my last season coach and I will be retiring and this is my last season coach of the Houston Texas Austin Texans excuse me I know it's very it's a very emotional moment for me and this was a hell of a game to start off on I do think that this is a championship caliber football team obviously we had a we had damn near 400 yards Russian I believe it was actually we had more we had more than 400 yards Russian as a team tonight and that's some old-school smashed mouth football okay for real serious about that so we went out there we had we had a we had a heck of a show and we really did so we think we can emulate that and we have a we have a great team I do think this is a championship team and hell whenever I retire I think whoever takes over is gonna have a they're gonna have an incredibly easy time on their hands why because I did all the heavy lifting myself you know I built this team from the ground up hell we even move this franchise today I'm Austin hey coach anyway we can get Todd Gurley a prosthetic leg to fix his arthritis and get him back on the team he could be a good hype man if anything with thanks his agent hey coach dipping Dotsman here now that you've announced your retirement do you think the end of ice cream gate is imminent hey listen one Todd Gurley was an incredible athlete or he still is it's just he had some injury issues okay I'd love to have two ice cream is for winters ice cream you scream what does that sound like I don't know I just said it for no reason but listen my point here is if you want to if you want to get ice cream you want to earn it you got to go out there and earn it does that make sense you gotta go out there and win a damn suit we're gonna win them championship you get some ice cream okay that's it thank you we'll see y'all later all right boys listen up round two we got three games left before world champions okay three games until we become world champions two games till we go to get an opportunity to become world champions one game before we have one game to get an opportunity to go become world champions and two games okay listen here's what we have to do I actually lost a train of thought but that's okay here's what we got to do today I like what we did last week I like how we went out there pound the rock that's I want to see more of that happy anniversary is fan cozy what is my wife doing in here Shelly get the hill up in the stands okay I'm coaching unbelievable damn coaching the damn team to come in here talking about our anniversary okay anyway so listen we got to go out there I'm gonna keep doing what we did last week we're gonna spread the ball around we're a J Dylan Jalen Drake and the more Jackson I'm all three y'all gonna have a hundred yards again okay so help me God that's what I want to see we're not gonna throw any interceptions for a touchdown that happened last week if that happens Lamar Jackson I'm gonna have you run gasser I'm gonna have you run gasser on the field during the game half time when we come in a half time you're not even have an opportunity to come out here and talk to the rest of team you got to go out there and run from the whole damn hundred thousand people in the stadium okay embarrassment other than that hell of a job let's go win this thing and work our ass towards a conference championship game let's do this Lamar Jackson break them out oh my what was that animation because they're building to make people missing the open field oh my gosh this is actually hard to stop a little juice AJ Dylan more I told you to call damn time out if you needed it why the hell did you do that Lamar just call a damn timeout you just gave a free score third string water boy here can I get a raise no spending most of my salary on giving ice cream secretly to the players the players will kill me because I told you this slash slash slash slash slash slash help me you've been giving ice cream then no wonder we're playing like dog shit out there today listen there is a very specific reason why we do not eat ice cream until we win a damn championship if y'all are going out there under the table over the head or whatever the hell to the side I don't even know what that even means but listen if you're going out there and you're buying damn ice cream from somebody illegally contraband ice cream that we're gonna have issues as well I want first ring water boy I want you a I'm gonna beat your ass to I want a list of everybody who's bought illegal contraband ice cream on my desk tomorrow three if you don't do it I'm beat your ass more okay D you do get a default ass beating for me courtesy of coach S man gonna win a damn game break them out whoever the hell oh no okay it's okay chat it's only a four point game we got this what a play that was amazing dude no way you force the fumble think you got a chance to turn over and instead not only do you give up the food so give up it bounces off his knees into the guy in front of his hands nice passing passes division around hanging by a thread if that is they begin here with a first intent and he loses the football I do I don't know I don't know how that's happening with that kind of a deficit you can't I genuinely don't know how they're fumbling that much I think they're just throwing at this point dude what I think they gave up chat their season is over and they gave up okay thank y'all for joining me today obviously we're incredibly proud of the way this team performed and went out there won the game wasn't as close to the game as last week but that's okay you know like I said it's a championship caliber football team we went out there and I think we had seven turnovers in our favor and honestly I mean we expect to win those coach ash here from CNN Sports what do you have to say about the allegations that you ever inflated the footballs used by the Raiders offense to cause fumbles no that's not true no I say that you were experienced ball handler well I mean I've handled ball to my day you know my great football expertise absolutely but in terms of us over inflating the balls for the Raiders no that absolutely is not true we did not do that I don't know why they fumbled as much as they did but hail you know when other teams make mistakes you got to go out there and capitalize on you know when they drop their balls you got to go pick them up it's just that simple okay so if we can handle balls better than they can handle balls at the end of the day Michael's Michael's and bicycles are the rumors true about you retiring after this season yes absolutely you can't leave what about me where will I go who's cultural I stay on how will your retirement affect the Texans long-term how did you ever think about how your choices will hurt those who love you no listen one I didn't even know we were sleeping on my couch a b it's fine it's not the first time I've been abandoned by someone I care about so long coach I listen okay listen I I have an opportunity to move on to some different pastures and I don't really want to talk about it right now but we'll talk about at the end of the season okay but yes this will be my final season coaching the Austin football Texans okay I'm soaring Stephen Michaels I am very proud of how well this team has developed in my time here and I think whoever comes in as the next head coach is gonna have a an easy time take care of everything absolutely I do so I'm really on that I don't got much I don't know who won the won that other game so I don't know who we're playing the conference championship but we plan on going out there winning the damn conference championship and then after that we plan on winning the Super Bowl okay so we're gonna do that tomorrow third string water boy here again so am I fired I know we should talk about this later but the Raiders offered me a job after seeing my expectational ice cream handling skills you know what go go play for the go go work for the Raiders okay they need all the damn help they can get okay we just whip their ass okay I'm gonna whip your ass anyway you just go on over there okay you can get you can get a figurative ass whooping courtesy of me and the Austin Texans okay get the hell out of my damn press conference room okay anyway we appreciate all y'all being here we appreciate all y'all being here today and we'll see y'all next week slash tomorrow for the conference championship game in the Super Bowl okay appreciate y'all