 The makers of Wrigley's Spearman chewing gum invite you to enjoy life. Life with Luigi, a comedy show created by Si Howard and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J. Kala Lash with Alan Reed as Beswale. As you know, Wrigley's Spearman chewing gum is giving daily enjoyment to millions of people all over America in offices and factories, on farms and ranches, in mines and oil fields. He finds that chewing Wrigley's Spearman helps them feel better and work better. The makers of Wrigley's Spearman gum are glad that their product is proving helpful and enjoyable to so many people, and they're glad too that they're able to bring you life with Luigi, because they know it's the kind of a radio program that millions of Americans enjoy. And now let's read Luigi's letters. He writes about his adventures in America to his mama Vasco in Italy. In America, weatherman is a very important fellow. He's got a little box in the newspaper, and every day he's going to tell you what's going to be the weather tomorrow. For instance, yesterday, weatherman used to say, Tuesday, cooler with the heavy rain. So as it comes today, it was a hot and dry. But he was writing the one thing that today would be Thursday. How would it be nice if I could close up an antique shop and go in the country to cool off for a couple of days? But a train of tickets cost a $50. There are plenty of tickets, maybe $100. A hotel bill, maybe $200. But the money I got all I can afford is a cold shower. But I'm already in the summer place that if you eat the salt tablets, they're going to keep you cool. So all day I'm going to cheer them up. Remember me, I got so much salt in the side, I'm going to feel like a bag of peanuts. Somebody would be so nice if I could go away for vacation, because summer in Chicago is very hot. Everybody's going away. Streets, they get empty on the weekends. And if you only got friends, you could get very lonesome. But today I've got a big idea. I'm going to ask all of my night school friends if they should come to my store this Saturday. Yeah, that's going to be nice. We can drink lemonade, eat cookies, sit around and do what all Americans do. Chew up the rags. But I'm going to finish this a little later, mom and me, because right now I'm going to go to my night school. America, I love you. You like the papa to me. But I'm the ocean to water. Luigi, thanks for the invitation, but I'm sorry I can't make it for this Saturday. Oh, you can't. You see, I'm going to my wife's folks for dinner. Well, I hope you enjoy her. I hope so, too. You know, there's one thing about my mother-in-law. She makes her patros that you'll remember for years. Yeah, and it stays with you that long, too. Ah, smile, Luigi. You're too far away. Yes, should I remember you coming to my store this Saturday? Ah, I'm sorry, Luigi. The 4th of July weekend, my wife, Frida and me and the kids, we all have the same vacation. So what do you mean issues? Well, we all go down to the beach, and the food gets squashed on the train. Two kids almost get lost. I have to be pulled out of the water twice. My wife gets a sunstroke, and we all have a wonderful time. Yeah, but I also remember you're going to... Luigi, I would be overjoyed to join you this Saturday, but I told Olga I would drive her into the country. Oh, you did, huh? Yeah, oh, there's nothing like getting out on the highway and an open car on a hot day, and just zooming along. Hey, it must be nice to zoom. So everybody's got a something to do this weekend, huh? Shh, here comes Miss Wally. Good evening, Clare. Good evening, Miss Wally. Good evening. Oh, it's hot tonight. Mr. Schultz, will you open the window from the bottom, please? Why only from the bottom? What's the matter? The top is an orphan? There was a well-known fact in physics that cold air comes in from the bottom and the hot air rises to the top. Ocean of thought is through what is holding you down. That was a lullaby lousy. All right, gentlemen. I know it's a hot night, but let's see if we can't concentrate on today's grammar lesson. I asked you to study up on the dangling participle. Mr. Horowitz, suppose you tell us what it is. With pleasure. A dangling participle is a participle that... Well, it dangles. Well, give us an example, please. The dangling participle... The prisoner was hung at dawn. No, no, that's wrong. Mr. Schultz. Don't ask me. I don't believe in capital punishment. Miss Balding, as usual, I am the only one who knows the answer. But in all these cases, I'm willing to make an exception. Please, Mr. Schultz. Mr. Basker, you may tell us the answer. The dangling participle, huh? That's the one in summer where the sentence is, you know, belong. And why doesn't it belong? Because, well... Well, it's just, you know, belong like me and this weekend. What? Miss Balding, Luigi feels a little left out because he asked us all to come to his house Saturday, but we can't make it. Oh, well, these are the weekends when people start to go out of town, Mr. Basker. Ah, cheer up, you little wiener schnitzel. Ah, smile, Luigi. There's a million things you can do in the city to enjoy yourself. Like what, Mr. Schultz? Well, you can go to the museum or the library or the planetarium or maybe a good music recital. An art gallery? Oh, those are all excellent ideas. Orson, they should all happen to you. Ah, smile, Luigi. Come to the weekend. You can always go next door to Pasquale and pass a little time. Yeah, sure, sir, but what if the first parties are going to start to deny me with the Russia? Ah, so what? He says, do you like Rosa? You say yes! He says, will you take her out to a movie? Say yes! Yeah, and what if he's going to say, I'm Mr. Marihar? So Marihar, it's only for the weekend. Luigi, my friend! Hello, Luigi, hello, hello. Oh, hello, Pasquale. I thought I'm just going to drop in a spaghetti palace and help you out a little bit. Oh, it's a nice little banana nose. But why you suddenly decided you're going to be Papa's little helper? I don't know, Pasquale. Well, I'm just like to help you, actually. All right, how much money you need? How soon can you pay me back? No, no, Pasquale, I'm going to need no money. Anyway, to the trouble with a nobody? Bill Collector's people like that? No. Luigi, I don't like you. You should have suddenly acted nicer to me unless you got a good reason. Well, Pasquale, I'm just going to feel big appreciation for what you do today, actually. Appreciation for what? Well, for bringing me to America. You know, for everything. Much so. I understand a little cabbage you put. Since you're feeling such a big appreciation of mood, Luigi, how's about you and me, we discuss a certain subject? Pasquale, it's a certain subject. How the name begins with the other? I wouldn't be surprised. Rosa. I don't mean the Rocky Mountains. If it's a Rosa, it's bigger than the Rocky Mountains. I'm not asking you. All right, Pasquale, what are we supposed to talk about? Rosa. Oh, little things. Little things? Yes, little things. The kind that if there was a four or five of them running around the house, I would be a grandfather. What do you say, my child? Goodbye, Grandpa. No, no, no, Pasquale, please. Now is the time to talk about a marriage. It's the best time. If you get married now, that's going to make you a junior bride. Luigi, look, Conor, may have a period. I'm only eleven for the day when some little frallies are going to climb up under my knee and calling me Grandpa. Well, why don't I like the Pasquale? If it's going to make you happy. Yes. Pasquale, I'm not going to climb up under your knee and calling you Grandpa. Don't be so smart. Oh, if I could afford it now, I'd have a nervous breakdown. No, Pasquale, please, please, don't be mad at me today. Not today. Why not today? You're going to break the day or something? No, but Pasquale, all of my friends, they're going away this weekend. And I want the wish to be friendly. So I'm going to have somebody to talk to. Hmm. And Luigi, you ain't had a vacation since I brought you to America, eh? No, no, Pasquale. And you ain't got a money, but I got the right. That's right, Pasquale. And if I was to lend you the money, you might take an airplane to rise to Hawaii and spend a few weeks of relaxing on the beach, eh? Wait a minute. Hey, Pasquale, are you going to do all of this for me? Only if the safe and the party gets on that airplane with you before it goes up. But Pasquale, if that's the safe and the somebody gets on that airplane, it's not going to be able to get up. Look, don't be so ippity-puppity, Mr. Smart Alex. So not every day I make you an offer to fly to Hawaii with a rooster for a bribe. But Pasquale, can't we just sit at home this weekend and play cards? Oh, that's the Osama talking about a honeymoon, and he's talking about a canazza. Luigi, shame on you. You're talking to like a little fight in the baby. Mary Jane is so bad. But Pasquale, I'm no one to hang on myself. Luigi, don't talk like that. You should have seen what Rosa looks like now. She's been dieting. Now she looks like them slim and new Henry J. cars. Yeah, but Pasquale, to me, she's always going to look like a mack-a-truck. Now, down to talk as a foolish Luigi. Look, I tell you, I'm going to call in Rosa now. You talk nice to the herd. Maybe by this time next weekend, you're going to have a nice trip. You're going to be in a beautiful Hawaii throwing a Catalina swim suit at each other. All right, I'm going to call her in. Rosa. Rosa. Rosa. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yes, Rosa, how would you like it to take a trip at the Hawaii this weekend? But, Papa, you know I can't stand long bus rides. Some sense to you, man. Luigi, can you imagine what a Rosa's is going to look like in the grass this time? Yes. Nebraska. Yeah. He's got a great estate to you, but too, huh, Rosa? All right, all right, enough. Rosa, go on now. There's a certain arrangement I've got to work out with Luigi. All right, Papa, and I wish you luck. I must buy it. Please, the police are the only used to talk about, and I don't like it to fly to the Hawaii. All right, so don't fly. Walk. This will take Rosa long. That's all I ask. Luigi, be fair, I had her for 29 years, and now it's your turn. I must buy it. No. Look, Luigi, I tell you what, I promise you something. After you keep her 29 years, I'm going to take her back again. No, Pascuali, maybe you want to keep her your promise, and I'm not going to be stuck with her. All right, all right, you big green horned boob, staying in Chicago all summer for all I care. No, please, Pascuali, look at your faces. Yeah, and all your friends keep going away on weekends, and you've got no place to go. Nobody to talk to. Don't come running to Pascuali, or they're going to be on the speaking terms with your face. Now go, go before I start to lose them right now. All right, all right, Pascuali, I'm going to, and I'm going to worry, I'm not going to be lost. Oh, go, go, you professional bachelor, you. Looks like I'm going to have no Pascualities this weekend. What am I going to do? Well, I'm always going to get to my statues to talk with you. Hello, Mr. Washington. How are you feeling, huh? How's the market? All right, it's a good thing. And Mr. Jefferson. That's a nice decoration you always wrote to Mr. Jefferson. I think Mr. Sparrowing would have given you an English for that thing. Yeah. And Mr. Lincoln. Mr. Lincoln, what do you think about inflationary, deflationary, taxes, you know, all of this amongst the business? Huh? What do you think? What do you think, Mr. Lincoln? You're a lad, right? I don't know, can you hear? I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit, I'm a little bit, Before we return to life with Luigi, here's a suggestion that'll add to your enjoyment of summer activities. Whether you're driving on Ohioway, enjoying your favorite sport, the refreshing mint flavor cools your mouth and the chewing itself gives you an extra fun and satisfaction. So this summer make it a point to always have some delicious Wrigley Spearmint chewing gum with you. You will enjoy the refreshing flavor, you will enjoy the good chewing. And now let's turn to page 2 of Luigi Vasco's letter to his mother in Well, my mama is now set in the morning and like I'm expected, Chicago is hot. It's sticky and empty. Olsen is out to zoom in on the highway. And what a witch is with his mother-in-law in the parking lot. And Schultz is going down to the beach to drown himself. Everybody is having more fun than me. Normally I'm going to have one customer today. And if his brother doesn't want to talk to me, and if I'm going to hear somebody's voice so soon, I'm going to bust it. Wait, I just got a big idea. Here, sure, I'm going to have a little talk with a telephone operator. Sure, I'm going to ask her for the time and then we're going to have a conversation. Hello, operator? Operator, maybe you've given me the time of pleasure? The time is now 9.35 and 20 seconds. Oh, thank you, operator. My name is Luigi Vasco. What's your name? The time is now 9.35 and 30 seconds. That's a funny name. Hi, look, look, operator. The time is now 9.35 and 50 seconds. Operator, remember we talk about the weather for a change. The time is exactly 10 o'clock. My mommy, that's a summer girl. I feel like I'm a talk to my sister, watch it. Well, it's, it's looked like it's going to be very long summer weekend for me. Good morning, sir. How do you do, sir? Nice to see you, sir. Oh, my mommy, that's so nice of you, like a person. Oh, your name on the window, Mr. Vasco. Nice looking store you've got here, but it'll look even nicer once you get yourself one of these shiny new vacuum cleaners. My name is Alan Graham and I represent the Madison Vacuum Cleaner Company. And if you'll permit me to demonstrate the little model I have here, I'm sure you will not hesitate to take advantage of the special low down payment easy financing terms which Western has become famous for. My money. I feel like the radio announces a fallout to my radio. And Mr. Graham, you, you look a hot... Oh, no, I'm cool as a cucumber, Mr. Vasco. Now let's have a look at this vacuum cleaner. It's got 39 separate and distinct features. Of course, I won't waste your time by listing all of them. Why not? Why? I said, why not? Because you want to list all of them? No, I, uh, you want me to tell you all 39 features? Yes, sure. Sure, what the page are we at? Well, the page about the Madison Vacuum Cleaner, Mr. Vasco. But first, I'm going to give you some lemonade. I need it about now. Lemonade? Yeah, it's nice. Nice to lemonade to put in a cold and I'm going to squeeze oranges in myself. That's because I'm going to run out the lemons. Well, that's what I needed. Thank you. Thank you very much. Now don't mind if I do sit down, sir. And I can use some of that orange lemonade. I'm really happy. Yeah, you're right. That's good. Here, I'm going to put you nice and big, you guys. Oh, thanks. You know, usually a guy who sells door door gets thrown out quite a bit. I appreciate this. Excuse me, is the telephone in here? Hello? Hello? Is this the melon head? Yeah, it's me, Pascale. You feeling good and lonely, Luigi? Yeah, Pascale. Oh, what a catechupry. Say, this is fine lemonade. Well, I'm glad that you like going to be careful. Don't think it too fast because you're going to swallow the fits in. Oh, I like to not, now look, come on, you talk about vacuum cleaner, huh? You really want to hear about it? Sure, then tell me all about different parts, huh? Huh? Start with some parts. The one that goes apart for $39. I'm going to lay down on a listener. Well, you take this switch right here. Excuse me, gentlemen, I'm Mrs. Carter and I represent the True Photo Institute of Chicago. We take your portrait right in your own home. You get a choice of six proofs and we give you three by eight, by ten, for only $9.98 by six, seven, ten, or four, three. Mama Mary, this is a lady daughter talking to us. She's talking to me, take it. And Mrs. Carter. Mr. Basko, I think I'd better... No, no, no, wait for Mr. Graham. Mrs. Carter, meet my friend Mr. Graham and he'll sell a vacuum cleaner. Maybe you're going to buy one. How much for the good cleaner coffee, Mr. Graham? I've got some literature here, Mrs. Carter. Why don't we sit down and talk this over? I'm sure I can work out a nice deal for you. Sure. You go on and go ahead, Mrs. Carter. My store is nice and empty. It's too hot outside to work. So you sit down and I'm going in the back and I squeeze some more oranges for the lemonade. Oh, please don't bother. You're two very nice people. I'm glad to have you, even for the whole weekend. And here's a picture of my youngest child, Mr. Graham. He is a beautiful child, Mrs. Carter. Nothing. Say, I wonder what's keeping Mr. Basko so long back there. Excuse me, folks. My name is Harold Strauss. I'm working my way through college selling magazines and I thought you might be interested in a subscription. Well, you see, Mrs. Carter... You two probably have kids of your own. Hey, that's a pretty child's picture, madam. Spit an image of your husband here. This man is not my husband. Come on, everybody. It took me a little longer because I'm a medicine with sandwiches. Oh, hello, Mr. I'm a gynecologist. When are you coming? Oh, Mr. Basko, this is Mr. Harold Strauss. He's selling magazines to work his way through college. That's nice. What college are you going to? A college of hard knocks. A college of hard knocks? I've never heard of this. Well, you should read more magazines. Now, you take a three-year subscription to the American... Please, there's no hurry. We all are going to sit down. It's even nicer to cool it here. Then we eat, drink, and talk, and spend a little nicer time. Here, Mrs. Carter, try this sandwich. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, thanks. Say, what's the occasion? Somebody's birthday or something? No, no, no. It's just that we four people all are working on a weekend. So we got together to make a big, nice little party. That's right. Well, that's a refreshment. This is the first time I'm in an act. This has happened to me, and I've been working my way through college for 12 years. Mr. Basko, these spaghetti and meatballs are excellent. But I'm going to think the best part of the meal was the cake you baked for me. Oh, really? You like it? Gangway! Hi, isn't that a nice thing? That's a Mr. Graham. He's cleaning up my stove with a vacuum cleaner. It's a wonderful day. Oh, wait, the telephone again. Hello? Hello. A rabbit is live here? That's a me, Basko. Well, are you dying alone in this yet? No, no, Basko. I'm having the most wonderful time of my life. And it's the time I'm hanging up on you. All right, come on, friends. What do we do now? Everybody's going to sing a song, tell a joke, huh? I got a joke about a cow. Oh, come on, come on. Pardon me. Do I have a nickel for a cup of coffee? Oh, come on, come on in, a friend. We got a, we got a modern in a coffee here. We got a friendship and a food and a fun. What more you could ask for? A nickel for a cup of coffee. At the footpeller, he's looking so hot and hungry. Yes, come on, come on. Come on, friends. This is a Mrs. Akata. She's a seller of pictures. Mr. Graham, he's a seller of vacuum cleaners. Mr. Svasa, he's a seller of magazines. All I want is a cup of coffee. Yeah, but please, I'm, I'm, I'm a no-gotter, no coffee. Maybe you'll take me some lemonade? Well, uh... But wait, wait, wait. About the lemonade, I'm, I'm a no-gotter, no-gotter. So you mind if I make lemonade with a grip of fruit? Oh, my, my, this is a cup of coffee. Excuse me, friends. Excuse me a minute. I'm gonna see somebody who's picking into my door. Oh, hello, Pascuali. Hello, Luigi. Oh, Pascuali, I'm sorry if my friends who hasn't made it too much noise. That's all right. I never knew you had so many friends. Where did they all come from, suddenly? Oh, they, they just come, Pascuali. I don't know how you do it. You know, I've been a terrible lonesome with today. Roses that go to a friend and nobody's coming to my restaurant. Just a bunch of salesmen. I spent all the day chasing them away. Yeah, but Pascuali, salesmen, they're people too like everybody else. Come on, come on, join the party, huh? Thanks, Luigi. Hey, that fella, he's looking like somebody else. And that lady. Yes, sure, Pascuali, that's the people you threw out there. But I had a wonderful time with him. Come on, Pascuali, you have a fun, too, huh? Hey, everybody, this is my friend, Pascuali. Now, wait, wait, please, please, please. Look, I know, I know I was wrong. I'll tell you what we're going to do. We all go to my restaurant. I give you pizza, lasagna, chicken, a cat's story, soup, and pasta, anything you want. What do you say? Where's my chubby chubby? Well, Mamma Mia, I had a fine time with all of my salesmen and friends. But Pascuali, he's enjoying himself, too. Before Pascuali was in my store half-hour, he's bought himself a vacuum cleaner, magazine subscription, and he's over half a dozen of pictures of a rooster. Yeah, 11 by 14. I'm a thinker, roosters are like a size of 60 bucks and not to my business. And the only thing that was in my business is how I'm a spend the weekend with my friends. And Mamma Mia, with her friends, had to make the business very good. And I'm a hope the same for you. Good night, Mamma Mia. I'm in love with you. You're lovin' a son, Luigi Basto, a little immigrant. Friends, the makers of Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum hope you've enjoyed tonight's episode of Life with Luigi, and they want to remind you that Wrigley's Spearman Gum is a refreshing, delicious taste treat that you can enjoy almost any time and anywhere. Just keep a package handy in your purse or pocket. Then, whether you're working or having fun outdoors, you've always got refreshment right at your fingertips. Just take out a stick of Wrigley's Spearman Gum and chew it. It cools your mouth, freshens your taste, and you get a lot of enjoyment out of the smooth, pleasant chewing. So when you go to the store, remember to get some Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum. It costs so little, and it tastes so good. The makers of Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum invite you to listen next week at the same time when Luigi Basto writes another letter to his Mamma Basto in Italy. Life with Luigi is a Psy Howard production, and is directed by Mr. Howard. Mack Benhoff writes the script with Lou Dermott. J. Carol Mash is starred as Luigi Basto with Alan Reed as Ms. Wally, Conk's Connery as Schultz, Jodie Gilbert as Rosa, Mary Schiff as Ms. Balding, and Joe Forte as Mariliths and Ken Teter's Results. Music is under the direction of Lugzach. Bob Stevens is speaking with the CBS Columbia Broadcasting System.