 Amen. So keep your place in Proverbs 31. Proverbs 31. I'm going to take a drink of water here. So once upon a time, there was a man. Everybody loves a story that starts out with once upon a time. Once upon a time there was a man, and there was a man that found a woman. But not just any woman. He found this woman that we just read about. And, you know, she's pretty amazing. We talked about this woman last week, and you're wondering why are we in this chapter again this week? Because we're going to talk about this man that found a unicorn. He found a treasure. You know, he found a needle in the haystack in Proverbs 12 that says he found a crown. He found a crown. And not only did he find her, but he found this woman and she vowed to do him good and not evil all the days of her life. You know, it reads like a fairy tale, frankly. I mean, it really does. You know, the virtuous woman passage actually starts with a question. You know, it says, who can find a virtuous woman? Well, this man did it, and I want to know how. And that's what the sermon is about this morning. It is about the title of the sermon. If there was a title, it's called The Husband of the Virtuous Woman. Who is this man? How did he do this? How did he find her if no one else can find her? Because it says, who could find a virtuous woman? You know, the importance of this topic, I'm a little nervous about this sermon today because I feel like this topic is super important. When I was studying and writing this sermon, I found many things about myself that made me reflect on myself, quite frankly. And this sermon is so important today in the day and age that we live in, even in this church, churches like this, that I hope that a man like myself can get this important message across to you. And so, you know, I pray that that will happen today. So, you know, this applies to all men, to single men, to married men. And I want to make some specific application at the end that will apply that to those different groups of men as well. So, let's lay a foundation. There's only three verses in Proverbs 31 that talk about this man. And those verses are verses 11, verses 23 and verses 28. Verse 11 says, the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. Verse 23 is the verse of the week on your bulletin, and it says, her husband is known in the gates when he sitteth among the elders of the land. And in verse 28, the Bible says, her children arise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praiseth her. Now, we're going to start with verse number 23, because two of these verses talk about what this man does, and one of these verses talks about who this man is. And I first want to talk about who this man is. And in verse 23, the Bible says, her husband is known in the gates when he sitteth among the elders of the land. That is who this man is. So what are the gates? Who is this guy? You know, the gates, let's just look at a few Bible verses, look at guys in the Bible that have sat in the gates, that did sit in the gates. Why are they sitting in the gates? What are the gates? What are they doing there? How did they get there? How did they get in the gates? So the gates from historical perspective, and they've actually found the gates when they've dug up some of these older cities. You know, there's a place between the walls of a city. And the gates in biblical times, it was not just a passageway through the defensive wall structures surrounding the city. It was typically a massive and often complex structure. Think of a town square consisting of an outer gate and an inner one providing a second line of defense with a space in between. And in between these gates were where the prophets cried out and the kings judged. So you'll hear many places in the Bible that say the king sat in the gate. So let's look at a few of these places. Turn to 2 Samuel chapter 19. The Bible says that her husband is known in the gates and he also sits there. So let's take a look at some people that were in the gates in the Bible. The first person I want to lead you to tonight is King David. And in 2 Samuel chapter 19, the Bible says this. Then the king arose and sat in the gate and they told unto all the people saying, Behold, the king doth sit in the gate. And all the people came before the king for Israel had fled every man to his tent. This is right after the big battle where Absalom was killed and David went and sat in the gate. But the kings would often sit in the gate to be seen of the people and to pass judgment on the people. If there was things, matters that needed to be judged. So we see King David sitting in the gates where you say, Alright, he's the king. But he's a king. I'm just going to read for you some other people, but I want you to turn to Ruth chapter 4. You say, He's a king. There's no way I could be the king of anything. The prophets many times prophesied in the gates. They used this place, this massive gathering of people to prophesy to the people and speak the word of God and cry out to the people. In Amos chapter 5 and verse 10, the Bible says, They hate him that rebuketh in the gate and they abhor him that speaketh uprightly. So when these prophets went out, they would go to the gates, the town square of the old ancient Israel and Judah, and they would prophesy in the gates. In Ruth chapter 4, we see another man who sat in the gates. Ruth chapter 4, look down at verse number 1. Now the context here, if you remember from last week, is that Ruth has basically asked Boaz, Ruth by the way, who was the only virtuous woman called out in the Bible. Not to say that there was another virtuous woman in the Bible, but Ruth was called a virtuous woman in the Bible. She basically asked Boaz if he would perform the next kinsman's duty towards her and marry her. But there was another man that was a closer kinsman to Ruth. So what does Boaz do? First he tells Ruth that she's a virtuous woman and he would be honored to do such a thing. But in Ruth chapter 4 and verse 1, the Bible reads, Then Boaz went up to the gate and sat him down there. He just went and sat down there. And behold, the kinsman of whom Boaz spake came by unto whom he said, Oh, such a one, turn aside and sit down here. And he turned aside and he sat down. Then he, Boaz, took ten men of the elders of the city and said, Sit ye down here. And they sat down. And skipped down to verse number 11 for sake of time. The Bible reads, And all the people that were in the gate, these were people in the gate just watching this happen. And the elders said, We are all witnesses. The Lord make the woman that has come into thine house like Rachel and like Leah, which too did build the house of Israel and do thou worthily in Ephrata and be famous in Bethlehem. And let thy house be like the house of Pharas, whom Tamar bear unto Judah, of the seed which the Lord shall give thee of this young woman. So all these people, both the people sitting in the gates, the elders that he had sit down, and Boaz sitting there, basically the other kinsmen said, I don't want to fulfill that. I give that to you. They all said, We wish great blessings upon you to marry this woman. So Boaz sat in the gates and all these men were just heaping this massive blessing upon him and giving their blessing to him. So Boaz was not only sitting in the gates, he was also telling others to sit in the gates. Now probably the best example that I could think of, of someone sitting in the gates in the Bible, turned to Daniel chapter 2. Daniel chapter 2. In Daniel chapter 2, we see the story of King Nebuchadnezzar who had a dream and he went to all of his wise men of which Daniel and Shadrach and Meshach and Abednego were part of the wise men. And he went and he had this dream and he brought in his wise men and he asked these wise men, he didn't say interpret my dream, he said tell me my dream and the interpretation. And all these wise men, these scammers, these magicians were all like, are you crazy? Who could do that? And so he said kill all the wise men, which Daniel wasn't present but he was part of that group of people that was going to get killed. Then of course Daniel prays to God and God shows Daniel Nebuchadnezzar's dream and Nebuchadnezzar stops the whole thing, Daniel stops the whole thing and he says I have the answer, he goes before the king and he tells him of course the great prophecy of the statue, the great image and it has future prophecy as well, we're not going to get into that. But Daniel basically prayed to God, God gave him the answer and Daniel goes and tells Nebuchadnezzar, King Nebuchadnezzar, the dream and the interpretation thereof. And one note is that you won't find Daniel taking any credit for that. He was very clear to give God the full credit, even after Nebuchadnezzar was amazed with what Daniel had done. So if you think you have to go through your life and take credit for things that aren't yours, look what happened to Daniel. Daniel gave the proper credit where credit was due and in verse number 48 the Bible says, then the king made Daniel a great man and gave him many great gifts and made him ruler over the whole province of Babylon and chief of the governors over all the wise men of Babylon. Then Daniel requested of the king and he sat Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego over the affairs of the province of Babylon. He took care of his brothers but Daniel sat in the gate of the king. Daniel sat in the place of the king. The king said, you know what? You can be my second. You sit in my gate to judge the people. It's a great honor what was given to Daniel. So just a list of a few men that we just talked about. David, Boaz, he was not a king. And Daniel turned to Luke 14. So we see some great men in the Bible that sat in the gates is what I'm getting across. So what does it mean that her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land? You know, he's not hanging out there. He's sitting there, okay? And here's the answer. The answer is this. It's a man who is highly respected amongst other men. That's what it means to sit in the gates. And he's elevated by those around him. Notice how these men didn't elevate themselves. Daniel didn't put himself in the gates. He was elevated by those around him. So we know the first thing about this man that he's a man that's highly respected. Now let's look at the second two verses that talk about this man. The second two verses are verses 11 and verse 28. These are the things that this man does. So the fact that he sat in the gates gives us a clue, gives us a good idea of who he was. Verses 11 and verses 28 tell us what he did. Verse 11 reads, the heart of her husband. Proverbs 31 verse 11, the heart of her husband does safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil. And in verse 28 the Bible reads, her children ariseeth up and call her blessed. Her husband also as he praiseth her. Here's this man who has this woman and he just has complete trust in her. And he also is a very supportive man towards her in that he's giving her praise along with the children. And I imagine that the children probably learned this from him. This praise that he's giving towards his wife. So that tells me that this man is a good leader. And this guy knows what he's doing in leading this family, this woman. You know, he's not like this guy that's like, you know, you need to appreciate me or husband says she needs to follow him or husband says this. No, he praiseth her. He praiseth her. Turn to Matthew chapter 20 and I'll explain why I think that this is what this is showing us. This is a man who is leading his wife in a very supportive way. Turn to Matthew chapter 20. I mean, do you think it's an accident the things that are written in the Bible? I mean, these are three verses and I feel like the things that these three verses tell us, I feel like I'm just going to scratch the surface for you this morning. When I was writing this sermon, I was looking at these verses. I'm like, oh, where do I, how deep do you go on all of these different things? Because three verses in the Bible, I mean, just three verses tell us all these things. In Matthew chapter 20, I want to show you how this guy knows what he has. And I want to show you how to do it. In Matthew chapter 20, Jesus tells us, I want you to look down at verse number 25 and we're going to see a context between verse number 25 and verse number 26 through 28. The first way is how the world is going to tell you to do it. How the world is going to tell you that you need to lead or be a leader. And in verse number 25, the Bible says, but Jesus called them unto him and said, you know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them and they that are great exercise authority upon them. So the world has these people in authority positions and they're just exercising this authority over these people. But then Jesus says this, he says, but it shall not be so among you. He's going to say, it's different with you. He's talking to the disciples. But whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister. And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant. Even as the son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister. Jesus says, that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm God and I am here to serve you. So likewise, you also should do this. Verse 28, even as the son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister and to give his life a ransom for many. All the way to the end, he said, I will serve and tell I have no breath in me anymore, is what Jesus said. He said, you should do the same if you're in a leadership position. He's the ultimate servant leader, Jesus. That means that when you're in a leadership position, when it comes to getting the short end of the stick, you always take the short end of the stick. That's what it means. Ephesians 5 and verse 25. Jesus basically, the Bible compares the husband of the family directly to Christ. Ephesians 5 and verse 25. Ephesians 5 and verse 25, the Bible says, husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church. Even as, in the same way, and gave himself for it. What love equals sacrifice? That's what love means. That's not what the world's going to tell you that love means, but love according to the Bible is actual sacrifice. Period. It means you lose something. It costs you something. That is love. I have seen so many people in my life say, oh, we love each other, we love each other. And horrible things are happening to people that they love, and they will do nothing. That is not love according to the Bible. The Bible teaches that love equals sacrifice, and it teaches that the husband as the leader of the family is the one to be doing the sacrificing. Husbands love your wives. Am I misreading that? With a servant's heart, you still want to be in charge? Single guys? You do what it takes as the husband and the family. I remember I was like eight or nine years old. This is one of these defining moments in your lives that just tattoo themselves in your head. There was some guy that came out to do some work on our place, and it was some kind of sewer work or something, and I just remember it was really gross, and I couldn't believe that somebody was doing this, and things were going wrong, and it was just really messy. My dad and I were standing out there watching this guy do this, and I was just like, I was like eight or nine years old. And I said to my dad, I said, man, I'd never do that for a living. You think my dad laughed? My dad about knocked me to the ground, and he says, when it comes to taking care of your family, he's like, you do what it takes. That's what he said to me. And I'll never forget what he said. He just looked at me with disdain. He said, when it comes to supporting your family, you do what it takes. Even if it means getting covered in garbage or whatever you have to do all day long every day. That man was sacrificing for his family. My dad said, don't you ever look down on that. So this man, this man, he's earned the respect of men. We know that. And he understands how to lead his wife. That's the second thing. You know, she probably found him. You ever think about that? It's possible. Maybe he helped her become who she is. There's another possibility. So some application today. In general, let's just talk to everybody. How do I get respect? Everybody wants respect. Every man, I've never met a man in my life that doesn't want respect. But you know what? It's one of those things that's elusive. It's one of those things that every man wants, but very few men get. Maybe it's not the virtuous woman that's rare. Just think about this. Maybe it's the man that can find respect that's rare. You know? Respect is elusive. It's not easy to get. It's hard. One of the things that I lamented about every time I've moved in the last few years, I've moved to California. And then again, I moved here. Whenever I started a new job, one of the things that I lamented about, and I'm just kind of like, is the fact that I got to start over with whatever group of people I'm with and I'm working with, and I got to earn their respect again. Because guess what? You don't just slap a resume down on a table and be like, look at all the things that I've done. Respect me now. No, you get respect by earning it over time. And it's hard. Turn to Luke chapter 16. I want to give you a three-step plan from the Bible here on how you can gain respect. You can gain this elusive thing in your life. It's tough. It takes a lot of work. I mean years of work. You know, I would just think about all the things that I had to do over this time to gain the respect of the people that I work with. I got to do those things all over again. But that's just what you have to do. Because that's how respect works. It can't be commanded. You can't go and just because you're the boss say, respect me now. I've seen it, it doesn't work. Okay? Respect is earned. Luke 16, look at verse number 10. We see the parable of the unjust steward which is just a great, great parable in the Bible. We're not going to get into it. But I want to just look at this verse number 10 which is one of the lessons out of that parable. And that lesson is this. He that is faithful in that which is leased is faithful also in much. And he that is unjust in the leased is also unjust also in much. Translation, prove yourself with the lowest things. You know one of the, when I'm 90 years old one of the things that I will look back as one of the highlights of my life is being an usher at Variety Baptist Church. And many people, many people will think, oh you know those guys, if you ever been there, you know you got all these guys they're in these maroon coats. It's a thing, right? It's a, we're all, oh look at the ushers, right? You know what being an usher, I was so, it's one of the highlights of my life to have served in that capacity. You know what being an usher at Variety Baptist Church was to me? It was cleaning up puke. It was getting to church an hour before every single service and picking up needles in the bushes. So kids wouldn't walk into the church and see needles from drug addicts outside the church building. It was going into a bathroom after everybody in the church walked out and they're like, oh, we don't know what happened in there. And there's like some kind of explosion happened and the toilet's overflowing and all this. And you take the jacket off, you tuck your tie in and you clean it up. That is what being an usher was to me at Variety Baptist Church. And that's what being an usher is to those men up there. And you think that all, it's the coat and look at that and all this and you're like, no, it's cleaning up vomit. So some mom who's crying because her kid just made a mess on the floor can get to church and hear the word of God. That's what being an usher at Variety Baptist Church meant to me. We had one usher who was a kid that just begged to be an usher. He wanted to be an usher so badly. And pastry command is being the most long-suffering man that I've ever met in my life. He got, this kid got to be an usher. But he wanted to just wear the coat. He wanted to stand at the door. And he wanted to be the man. And he even said out loud several times, I'm just in this for the coat. And when there was anything that needed to be done, he was nowhere to be found. You think that coat got him any respect? None. None. He had thrown out of the church. So much respect he got. It's pitiful. It was not about the coat. It was about being a servant. It was what it was about. And that's leadership. Leadership's about being a servant to the people that you are leading. You know what else would also happen at Variety Baptist Church? If somebody had a Bible question and somebody was confused about the Bible and the pastor was busy and someone else about the Bible, you know who they would ask? One of those men in those coats. So they would clean up vomit and then they would go help somebody answer a Bible question. That's being a servant leader. Long suffering. Let me just say something about long suffering. Probably one of the biggest lessons that I will ever take from Pastor Jimenez is how to be a long suffering. And in 2 Timothy chapter 4 and verse number 2, it will be instant, out of season, reproved, rebuke, exhort, with all long suffering. So you say it was a mistake to give somebody a chance. No. It's just being long suffering. And a pastor or a leader is supposed to be long suffering. Now, here's another thing. I was an usher at Variety Baptist Church for years, for two and a half years maybe. Notice in the virtuous woman that the Bible says that she will do what has been good and not evil all the days of her life. That having staying power is important in earning respect as well. You can't just be in this thing for a month and expect that everyone's just going to be like, oh, you're the best. No, this woman has staying power and so does this man. You know, someone said in a sermon one time that I don't remember the pastor that said it, but I remember I was YouTubing it from North Dakota. I hadn't moved yet, and I heard this statement that I thought was a little strange, but it was the pastor said from the pulpit, he said, eventually we're going to find out who you are. And I thought, I was like, I wonder what that means. I wonder what that's all about. Well, I know what it means now, because eventually you can only fake it for so long. Eventually your character will come out is what it means. So if you want respect, it takes more than just, you know, five minutes. It takes staying power. That's character. There's a time factor involved. The second tip to getting respect is this. Turn to Proverbs 27. Proverbs 27. Right in the center of your Bible is the book of Psalms, and right after Psalms you'll have Proverbs. Proverbs 27. And you'll notice this with some of the men in the gates that we talked about as well. But in Proverbs 7, verse 2, the Bible reads, Let another man praise thee. In not thine own mouth. A stranger in not thine own lips. Don't go around bragging yourself up. It's basically what that means. And you know what? That's hard to do. If you do something great, you want to tell people about it. But don't. If you want respect from people, you let somebody else praise you. Turn to Luke 14. That's not how you're going to get ahead here. I'll tell you that right now. You let somebody else praise you. Luke 14. Luke 14 in verse number 10. And the Bible says, But when thou art bidden, Go and sit down in the lowest room, That when he that bade thee cometh, He may say unto thee, friend, Say unto thee, friend, go up higher. Then shalt thou have worship in the presence of them That sit at meet with thee. For whosoever exalted himself shall be abased, And he that humbleeth himself shall be exalted. Now this is the opposite of what the world does. When you get out in the career world or wherever else out in the world, it's men exalting themselves. It's men trying to get themselves in the higher seats by kicking somebody out of the lower seats. By talking garbage about somebody or anything like that. Everybody wants to be the boss. They're just trying to exalt themselves out there. That's not how we're supposed to do it here and that will get you nowhere here. I'll tell you that right now. Look, unfortunately, gentlemen, respect is earned. It's not commanded. That's why Jesus said, Sit in the lowest seats. Let somebody else put you in the upper seats. The third tip to get respect is this. Turn to James chapter 2. And I know we studied this a few weeks ago but let's look at it again. James chapter 2. And then go to 2 Thessalonians right after James. James chapter 2 in verse 21. The third tip is this. If you want respect from people, from the men around you, from men in your life, from other people, is this go to work and work hard. In James chapter 2, the Bible in verse 21 says, Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered Isaac his son upon the altar? Look, men, and we talked about this in the study on James chapter 2. Men are justified to each other by what they do. The only way I can judge you as a man is by what you do. By what I see you do. In 2 Thessalonians, turn to chapter 3. 2 Thessalonians chapter 3. Look down to verse number 8. Paul's explaining some things here. And he said, Neither did we eat any man's bread for naught, but wrought with labor and travail night and day that we might not be chargeable to any of you. Not because we have not power, but to make ourselves an example unto you to follow us. For even when we were with you, this we commanded you. That if any would not work, neither should he eat. Paul is saying that when we were with you, it's not like we didn't deserve to be paid for what we were doing. We wanted to be an example that we would work and we would make our own money. We didn't want to be chargeable to any of you that you could grab us with that handle. Because Paul said, these preaching to them, what? He's preaching to them, if you don't work, you shouldn't eat. Look, I lament the day in this country that it became possible to not starve to death if you don't go to work. That was a terrible day in our country when that happened. Because it just destroyed generations of men. It totally destroyed them. My grandpa would, and even further than this, my grandpa would know everything that he needed to know about you by shaking your hand. And maybe he threw some blanket statements over people by running his life that way, but it was interesting. And I'll never forget the day that my grandpa met my father-in-law. Two icons of men in my life. And they met each other the first time at my wedding 20 some years ago. And my father-in-law walked up to my grandpa, my grandpa shook his hand, and he said, I can tell that you're a cattleman just by shaking his hand. And those two men, they sat down and they talked to each other for probably just about two hours. And my grandpa talked about how he fought in World War II and my father-in-law talked about how he fought in Vietnam. And then they talked about just running a ranch for 40 years. Those two never crossed each other's paths again in their life. My grandpa has now passed away. But every single time I saw my grandfather and my wife was there, he would say, how's Gordon doing? You see that two-hour conversation and shaking that man's hand and talking to that man about what have you done in your life. It earned the respect. Those two men, it earned their mutual respect towards each other. And every time I saw my father-in-law, he'd ask, how's your grandpa? And when my grandpa died, my father-in-law was at that funeral. He only met the man one time. That's respect. But that was, you say, oh, it was just a two-hour note. Those men worked their whole life and they lived a certain way and they did works in their life. This isn't about going to heaven, folks. But they did things in their life that each man looked at and had respect for. And that's how it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy working hard for 40 years. It wasn't easy being drafted and going to Vietnam because you had to go. It wasn't easy, but he did it. That earned the respect that those two men had for each other. So you prove yourself at the lowest things. You know, you want respect around here, pick up some trash. That's how you get respect around here. Do the lowest things. Then you let other men exalt you. You don't brag yourself up. Daniel got placed in the gates, folks. He didn't say, I'm sitting in the gates now. Then you go to work and you work hard. Men will judge you by your work. So will women, by the way. They will judge you by your work. So I want to give you two scenarios. I want to get a little bit more specific. I want to talk to the single guys first. You know, I want to apply this to the single guys in the room or anybody watching. And that's this. Guys' marriage is the most important business deal you will ever make in your life. You say, what do you mean? Look, this is universal across saved people and unsaved people. Marriage, you see, you're not in charge until she says, you know, I do. You're not in charge of anybody right now. Single guys. Marriage is a business deal. One person has something to offer. The other person has something to offer. They say, you know what, that fits. We're equally yoked, the Bible would say. And they come together in marriage. In the world, these are things like money and looks. You know, how many times have you ever heard, you know, what's she doing with him? Oh, he's rich. Well, it's a business deal. He might be a terrible person and all this, but he's rich and that's what she values. It's a business deal. That's the unsaved version. But the Bible is these qualities of the virtuous woman. Those are rubies. They're more precious than rubies. So you better have something. You know, if you find her, can you afford her? It is the question. Look, Cadillacs don't marry Volkswagen's. I'm dead serious. It's a law of nature or something, but I've seen it a million times. I sat in church. I sat in church with this guy, same guy, by the way. And he was lamenting that he had no money. He hadn't worked ever since I knew him. He had no money and he's thinking about moving back in with his mom. And he's sitting around and there's a bunch of other guys there. And pretty much everybody was done giving this kid advice because they were just like, whatever. He's like, I have no money. I'm going to move back in with my mom. And then in like the same breath, he's like, there's no women. There's no women to marry. And I looked at him and I was like, are you serious, man? What is that virtue? He might even have said the term virtuous woman. But I almost fell out of my chair and then just hit him with it. But I said to him, I was like, what are you going to say when she walks in the room? Hi, my name's whatever. I'm broke, unemployed, and I live in my mom's basement. How do you think that conversation is going to go? I mean, what in the world? You know, I mean, that's the bottom line, guys. You got to become this man first. You become this man. You become this man who has the respect of other men. You become this man who is humble. He doesn't exalt himself. You become this man that works hard. Then you pray for God to send you a wife, and I bet he does it. I bet he does it. Turn to 1 John 514. 1 John 514. 1 John 514, the Bible reads, and this is the confidence that we have in him that if we ask anything according to his will, he heareth us. And if we know that he heareth us whatsoever, we ask, we know that we have petitions that we desire. We have the petitions that we desired of him. Look, God loves that woman too. And it's probably not God's will that she get married to some guy that's going to ruin her life. So you become this man first. And then you pray. And then God will see two equally yoked people. He will bring them together like the Bible says that it should be. Scenario number two. The married man. This applies to myself too. I learned a few things studying out this sermon. The married man, especially those saved later in life or whatever, I was saved later in life. Look, your wife has to stay in her lane. We learned that last week. Your wife has to stay in her lane. But guess what? You actually have to help her in her lane. So there's more to you. You have to get outside your lane and help her. Growth is needed in both areas. Look, I've got some experience here. When you get saved and you're like, I'm going to start changing my life and doing things the right way and getting in the right church. You're family from that. Thank God. But that growth needs to happen together. It's a tricky thing. It's a tricky thing. But here's what you can't do. You can't get in your spiritual race car and leave your wife behind in a burnt cloud or rubber. You have to grow together. It's your responsibility to make sure that that happens. Do you notice how my wife and I are always soul-winning together? We always go soul-winning together. It's a rare thing when I don't go soul-winning with my wife. We've had some oddities here and there when we're here, but in Sacramento, that's how we operated. We went soul-winning together. And you know, that's how you grow together. And you're saying, oh, we're not really spending time with your wife when you're soul-winning, are you? Well, you know what I value? I value car rides with my wife. I value car rides with my wife and stopping at the stop sign where we meet up and how did that one go? How did that one go, Jeff? You know, we're constantly talking to each other out soul-winning. And, you know, different things. My son has so many questions. We're in the garage working on something. Hey, Dad, remember that time when that guy said this one thing at the door? Look at me. We're all growing together. See? And you say, oh, you don't have little kids. Well, first of all, my kids used to be little. But second of all, we actually had some health problems with one of our kids over the last year or so. Thank God they're getting much better now. And my wife and I had the conversation at one point. Maybe you should go Sunday and I'll go Saturday. Maybe that'll be easier to handle the situation that's going on in our life. I thought about it. I prayed about it. I said, no. We're staying together. It was the best thing we ever could have done. It's a valuable time for the family to go soul-winning together. Look, church and spiritual things should not equal the family being apart. OK? Brother Oliver, who was just here, you know, every single time that, maybe not every time, but most times I go soul-winning with Brother Oliver, he's pushing a stroller. And they have wonderful kids. I don't know how many they have now. 15? Three? But they have wonderful kids. But whichever kid is acting up the most, he takes that kid. Because he wants his wife to have a great experience out soul-winning. And that is a man who's sacrificing, you know what, Brother Oliver and I, we would just love to just hang out and just talk the whole time. It's annoying when you've got some kid that's, you know, whatever, and there's kids and Jacob's over here. You know, I would love if it would just be me and Brother Oliver. I wouldn't. But the point is that he's sacrificing there. So his wife can have that experience and have her time to talk with the ladies and give the gospel and all these things. That's a servant leader. Right there. Spend some time. Look, if you've got to back up the race car and put your wife in the passenger seat, do so. Do so. But be a servant leader. It works, but it takes time, folks. Spend some time helping your wife succeed. You know, sometimes I can't go to work and just throw a bunch of plans on top of these guys trying to install something and say, get it done. I could. Sometimes I've got to grab a screwdriver and I've got to get down on my hands and knees and say, what's the problem here? Why isn't this working? What are you having trouble with? And sometimes it's like, oh, we got some garbage or some bad job over here. I do it! Like, whatever. I will remove any problem that I can from you so you can be successful at what I'm asking you to do. Right? So I'm asking them to do something, but they're getting sidetracked with all these lower things. I do those lower things. And then when they see that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make them successful, then you get respect. And your wife should see the same thing. I explained this to Brother Angel yesterday. We're out soul-winning. I preached him the whole sermon. I'm just kidding. But no, the topic came up. It was strange, but the topic came up. Servant leadership means I made it real simple for him. If there's a family of five people and there's four apples, guess who doesn't get an apple? You! It's real simple. But it takes personal attention. It takes time. And it takes like a servant's heart. You can't fake it. You can't fake it. One needs to be taken from the team. For the team, you know, you take it. You come last. Notice how Jesus said, and the adversity said, but it shall not be so among you. Everybody else says, do it this way. But not for you. It's going to be different for you. Because it's not inherently obvious. When somebody gets in charge, they just want to be in charge, and they think about themselves. But not so amongst you. Who shall be chief amongst you? Let him be your servant. I fixed the toilets in this building. Who cares? They needed to be fixed. You know, young men, you still want to be in charge? It's not just about ordering people around, bossing people around. There's a lot of responsibility here. There's a lot of sacrifice on your side. So he's someone, this man, he's someone who's highly respected. He's supportive of his wife. There's a lot in these two attributes. We could have gone on and on. I feel like it just scratched the surface. And you know what? For men and women, here's what you're going to see. We talked about this man, and we talked about this woman last week. But here's what you're going to see in your families. When you start to raise your bar and become more like this man, it's going to draw her up. And when she starts to become more like this woman, it's going to draw you up. And it's just like we talked about, that's why the Bible says that a saved wife will sanctify her unsaved husband. It's the same theory. Because you will pick each other up if you both get things right. So do what you can, ladies. Stay in your lane. Get yourself right and you'll pull him up. And then he is to get himself right and help you strive together for these standards. Look, as you grow together, you will grow together like this. Okay? And that's what we want. We want you to grow together. We want strong families in this church. We want strong leaders in this church. And we want strong marriages in these church. You know what? And that will raise strong children. Okay? Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer. Heavenly Father, I thank you for this day. I thank you for these people. Lord, I thank you for this chapter in Proverbs. I thank you for all these lessons that you give us. Lord, I ask that you just lay on our hearts these standards that you've put forth for both men and women. And you help us make actual change in your life. Lord, help me for the things that I've learned out of this chapter and out of this study, Lord. Help me become a better husband. Help me become a better leader. Lord, I ask that you bless the rest of the day, that you bless soul-winning this afternoon, that you bless Brother Nate's travels down here, Lord. Lord, I ask you again that you just bless the families in this church. We love all the people in this church, Lord, and just lay your hand on their home lives and these men and these women. Lord, we thank you for everything in Jesus' name. We pray. Amen.