 A cruel inner voice can harm your mental health without you even realizing it. According to psychologist Lauren Alexander, negative self-talk can worsen depression and anxiety and cause low self-esteem. By becoming aware of harmful thinking and learning how to be nicer to yourself, you can avoid these negative effects and evolve into a happier, healthier you. Keep watching to learn how to identify five signs that your inner voice is cruel and how to change it from cruel to kind. Number one, personalizing. Cywalk past a group of friends who were laughing and automatically thought, they must be laughing at me. Even though they weren't actually making fun of him, he assumed they were. If you blame yourself for things that probably don't have anything to do with you, this is called personalizing. And it could mean that you have a cruel inner voice. Personalizing is a common type of negative self-talk. If you find that you personalize a lot, counselor Heather Tim recommends taking a step back and asking yourself if it's rational to blame yourself. Or if there's another way to interpret the situation. It's more likely that people were laughing at a joke someone told and not at sigh. Make sure to consider all the possibilities before internalizing negative beliefs. Number two, the absolutist. You get a poor grade in an assignment and think to yourself, I'm stupid, I'll never succeed at school. Why do I bother trying? Dr. Alexander says statements like these are examples of negative inner dialogue that can affect your mental health. Watch out for absolute language like, I always fail or, I'll never be good at this. If your thoughts sound like this, it's a sign that your inner voice is cruel. Try to catch yourself in the moment when you notice harmful inner dialogue. Then replace it with kinder and more gentle self-talk. Number three, the confidence killer. Negative self-talk doesn't only affect your mental health, but it can also impact how successful you are. According to Dr. Elizabeth Scott, a cruel inner voice depletes your confidence, it makes it harder for you to reach your goals and become the best version of yourself. Scott suggests coming up with a silly nickname for your cruel inner voice to make it less threatening and to help you recognize that you can disagree with it. This way the negative thought doesn't have as much power over you. Speaking of nicknames, number four, the consistent Karen. Is your inner voice a consistent Karen, nagging with negative self-talk all the time and never giving you a break? Having a critical thought about yourself every once in a while is normal and doesn't necessarily mean you have a cruel inner voice. But according to Dr. Alexander, your inner voice is constantly negative. That's when it becomes a problem and can be damaging. The next time your cruel inner voice tries to bring you down, try taking counselor Tim and Dr. Scott's advice. Playble it with a nickname like Karen or whatever works for you. Then consider whether the thought is true or if there are other possibilities. Think back to the example of getting a bad mark in your assignment. When the cruel inner voice chimes in, here's how you can challenge it. Not today, Karen. I got one poor grade. That doesn't mean I'm stupid. I rushed to finish the assignment the night before I was due, so it's possible that I just didn't spend enough time on it. Next time, I'll plan ahead. I'm smart and capable. Number five, stealing your thunder. According to counselor David Panahee, a cruel inner voice diminishes your accomplishments. He calls this a yes but mindset. If you give a presentation at work and it goes well, your inner voice might say, sure you did a good job, but you're not prepared for the meeting with your boss tomorrow. Focusing on the bad can prevent us from enjoying the good. Panahee says that you should remember why your inner critic is there in the first place. He points out the negative self-talk usually arises to help you avoid the pain of failing or being let down. This insight can help you develop self-compassion for your cruel inner voice. Acknowledging it and knowing why it's there is the first step to improving your inner dialogue. We hope this video helped you reflect on the way you talk to yourself. Remember, Psych2Goers, you are loved. And you deserve the same kindness you give to your loved ones. If you wouldn't say it to a friend, then don't say it to yourself. Do you have a cruel inner voice? If so, how has it affected you? Share in the comments below. See you in the next video.