 Welcome to another episode of It's About Time on Think Tech from our downtown studio at the core of Honolulu. I'm your host Becky Sampson, a professional speaker, author, and coach. Do you ever wonder if making money with your passion is possible? And if all the work that you do to grow your business is worth it? And question what it takes to see the fruits of your labors? Well, today our guest is very familiar with the struggles and challenges people face when growing businesses. He is an award-winning author of nine books and is a speaker who has spoken over a thousand times nationally and internationally. He is a master at taking people from where they are getting, where they are, to where they want to be. So today we're going to be talking about the three keys to success and the question that we're going to be answering is, is success an illusion? So welcome my dear friend, Gary Barnes, the Breakthrough Mastery, Business Mastery coach. Welcome Gary to the show. Thank you so much. It's great to be here. And you know, I'm a little bit jealous. I'm in Denver, Colorado. It's a little bit chilly and you're there with the beautiful weather and the ocean. I know. I know. I put it on Facebook yesterday that I swam with six turtles. And you were saying, hey, that's not okay. Right? Correct. I'm sorry, but you've got the snow and I've got the ocean. Right? That's right. And you're coming, you're actually coming to us from outside of Denver, Colorado. Yep. Port of Denver, Nitro, Littleton, Colorado, but Denver is, you know, we all rotate around the city. So we're fine. But yes, it's Denver, Colorado. Awesome. Awesome. Well tell everybody, I always love to start the show off because we're going to talk a lot about entrepreneurship business because that's, that's a lot of what your history has been, but kind of tell people who you are, what you're about, what's your, what's brought you to the point in this life of doing what you do and why you're so passionate about it. You know, my back story is a little bit different than most. I started out in college as a theology and a psychology major and found out very quickly that I was a square pig in a round hole. So obviously when I went into real estate and spent nine years there and then built one of the very first financial planning firms in the country and built it to the top 3% in production, not even knowing that I had done that. I just had built some techniques and strategies and after about 30 years I decided I had needed a change and the industry had changed as well. And people had asked me how I had done, what I had built, how did I do that? And so I have been a speaker of my entire career. And so it really morphed and organically changed into the business coaching, speaking and unfortunately writing. Writing to me is very cool, but I have nine books. I know, seriously, that's, I mean, look, I'm trying to get my first book written and published and you know that, right? So that's quite an accomplishment. I think what there was a, there was actually a, what was it, 82% of Americans want to write a book, but less than 1% actually do. Have you heard that? I have. And the sad part is they think no one will want to read their story. Yeah. It doesn't really matter. And, you know, to be honest, I feel the same way. And when I do my very first book is how I'd be able to save my life. And what the funny thing is, is when I do a speech and I don't include the story, they bring me back up to do the story. And so I can't get away from it now, but yeah, doing that book is really important. Yeah. I think that's, we met many years ago actually at a speaking gig and that's, and you've taught me a lot also about this business in speaking and sharing your story. And I like that you brought up that point that so many people don't think that they have a story or at least a story that nobody wants to hear, but I always say you are sick of hearing that story, but there's other people that are inspired by that. And so if you're feeling the inspiration, write the book, you know, get out there and share the story. And you have quite the story. You've had some medical staff that's come up. You've had some challenges in business. You've had, so tell everybody kind of what things that you've struggled with that have kind of gotten to this point. Well, you know, early on, I was, I think I became someone of a salesperson because my mother, every time I went to her, she said, no, so I had overcome that. But really in life, in business, there's adversity. And in 1988, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and was told that I would be dead or in a wheelchair in 10 years. And Thanksgiving is actually the 31st anniversary of that diagnosis. And so we have downturns in the market. We have challenge cash flow. We have challenges with relationships. And it's really about that reaction to that stimulus that is really the important key in order to get the results that we want, not the adversity that we're facing. And you've had those in your life as well. And that's, I think, one of the reasons you and I connected. Yeah, it's through the adversity. And so many people think that, oh, like, you know, nobody else is going through what I'm going through. But in reality, that's what connects a lot of us, right? Is knowing that there is a purpose to that adversity. And especially with what you do too, because you can relate to the people that come into your life that you coach, right? Well, one of the things that I tell speakers is that we are myself or we, as speakers, are the subject, but we're not the message. And how do we translate that to a meaningful, tangible process way for them to actually acclimate or not, you know, to put it into their life to get a difference or a result that they're wanting and how to get over that hump. And sometimes it's just, frankly, staying in the game. Yeah, staying in the game, showing up, right? I know one of the things that I wanted to talk about is, because you do a lot of coaching and teaching people and we want to really focus on the success. But before we kind of get to that point, what are some of the problems, the biggest common problems that you see, whether they're entrepreneurs, speakers, coaches, people that are in business that come to you, what are some of the basic problems that you see over and over and over again? I think one of the things is that we have a tendency not to ask for help as we have a core talent, we have a product or service that we really know what it is and does and what the benefits are. But then in business, once in a while, we have this disconnect as far as we really get it into the marketplace. How is it relevant? And we also have this aversion to be seen. And all of that we hear, here's another one that's really cool, is that we need just a little bit more information. And so we never really launch. And there's a, one of my garrisons is launch and adjust. Because if we get so much information, we never really get out there and apply anything. It becomes information constipation. And we get stuff in that and it's never enough. Yeah, information constipation, right? And that's what, what do you think is the main reason why people don't, and I, by the way, I can totally identify with that too, right? If we feel like we have a purpose or a passion that we want to do, what stops people from really just going for it? You know, the basic answer is fear. And depending upon their background, the fear of rejection, the fear, you know, and I think for the most part, it is actually not the fear of rejection because we, if we didn't have this, or if we had the fear of failure, we would not have started. But what happens when we succeed? Is it luck? Is it going to go away? Are we going to be disappointed? Whatever that story is. And the interesting thing is one of my other philosophies is facts are stories until they become beliefs. And so what story are we telling us that's actually telling us we're not good enough? We don't deserve. That's another belief that gets in the way. If I don't deserve receiving, or if I have a belief that I have to serve everyone else before I get to enjoy the benefits, we will sabotage what we are doing. And we'll actually back up out of the success instead of going forward embracing it and then being able to bless others. So I know that you focus a lot on breaking through some of these things. Do you focus a lot on the beliefs that people carry? Yeah, I do. Because I really over the years, I've really come to understand that building any successful business is 80% psychological and emotional. 20% is tactical. It's the strategy. All the things that most individuals when they go to programs, they want those little magic bullets or the magic formula that literally does not exist. But they're focused thinking that that's the 80% of where success is. And it isn't. It's in keeping into the game and looking for those ways of, you know, we've heard the story about you come up against an obstacle or mountain, you can go around it, throw it over it or plant the flag right there and succeed at the foot of the mountain. And what most people will do is they'll get a little bit of adversity and start believing the old stories and stop. And then someone else who's the benefit of the effort that they put in and that's really sad. Yeah, it's, you know, I've come to realize that for myself as well as you've seen me kind of go on my own journey and it's, I always say it's an inside job. Right. I mean, it starts with where, you know, what's inside of us and what we believe on the outside world is what we're going to create out there. Um, correct. And I mean, we're all human. Yeah, we're all human. We all, we all feel fear. And I think it is interesting also, I love to hear your insight on that is that people being afraid of success. Because success is just sometimes it's just right around the corner, or as my friend used to say, Becky, it's right there. Just, you know, just grab it. And I think sometimes it's hard. And that's why it goes back to the point that you just said was that we think that we have to do it all on our own. We've talked about that on the show a lot is thinking that we're an island and have to do it on our own. Instead of reaching out for help and saying, Hey, I need help on looking at this differently or doing things differently, like what, because I know you sit down and do strategy. I mean, I've been stalking you. I was watching some of your YouTube stuff and you do strategy sessions with people to be able to evaluate their business of where they're at, where they want to go, what's in the gap, right? And putting strategies together. Absolutely. There's a process that I call the power of yes, because we have opportunities that come to us. But here's the challenge. Which opportunities do we say actually yes to, right? And the question that I would like to say that we use is, does this opportunity take me towards or away from my ultimate vision? Right now, the parents there is, if we don't know where our ultimate vision is, what it is, and we're clearly focused on that, we're not going to be able to work the question to get an answer that's truly going to serve us. And so when we have these opportunities, do we deserve? Are you good enough to be on a TV show, to do TEDx, to be invited to address a large group of people, to receive that million dollar contract? And that's what sometimes when things do go correct and people get excited about it, then the feeling is, well, I just got lucky. Well, I don't really believe that luck is a planned event. If you go back, you're going to be able to see those stepping stones that allow all those things to happen. And when you do that, you can really put yourself in a position of, yes, it's really not about me, but there is a reward in a synergistic connection that if I wasn't part of the equation, it wouldn't have happened or at least happened in that way. Well, and Gary, you know, as we go off the break, I want you to kind of think about, because I know, I mean, I know none of us are perfect, right? So I'd love to hear from you some of the times in your life where you have been faced with that fear, I mean, because you've traveled all around the world, you've helped a lot of people, you've spoken at a lot of places, you know, what were some of the times where you felt that fear or maybe you self-doubt? And then what did you do to be able to break through that so that you can help other people with that? So we're going to take a short little break. I'm Becky Sampson and you're watching It's About Time on Think Tech Hawaii and we're talking to my dear friend Gary Barnes about the three keys to success and is success an illusion? So stay tuned for more and we'll be right back. Hi, I'm Rusty Kamori, host of Beyond the Lines on Think Tech Hawaii. My show is based on my book also titled Beyond the Lines and it's about creating a superior culture of excellence, leadership and finding greatness. I interview guests who are successful in business, sports and life, which is sure to inspire you in finding your greatness. Join me every Monday as we go Beyond the Lines at 11 a.m. Aloha. Aloha, I'm Dave Stevens, host of the Cyber Underground. This is where we discuss everything that relates to computers that's just kind of scare you out of your mind. So come join us every week here on thinktechawaii.com 1 p.m. on Friday afternoons and then you can go see all our episodes on YouTube. Just look up the Cyber Underground on YouTube. All our shows will show up and please follow us. We're always giving you current relevant information to protect you, keeping you safe. Aloha. So we're back and I'm Becky Samson, the host of It's About Time. I'm talking to my dear friend Gary Barnes from Colorado about the three keys to success. And the question that we're answering today is, is success an illusion? So welcome back to the show and Gary, right before we went to the break, I asked you some personal question, which is, what are some of the times in your life that you were faced against that, those fears or those doubts? And how did you push through it? So how do you help other people through that? Well, it's a great question, Becky. You know, one of the things that I remember early in my career, and I was told from being a kid through my teen years, my early adult that I wasn't good enough and being in my place. But I remember I did a program. I put on an event in Orange County, California, and I was all in. I was dealing with some very high ranking, very popular individuals. We put out the promotion. And guess what? No one actually even inquired about the program. Now, back then, what was the thing is that I actually invested, now that's the key word, I invested almost $30,000. Now, that was in the 70s. Now, if you equate it to today's dollars, that was around $90,000 that I did not get a return up. And luckily, my wife still said, okay, she was going to leave me. But the thing is, is that that was really hard to take. That was a total rejection. And it wasn't just that people rejected a concept or me personally. It was a loss in revenue. It was, are you good enough? But if I hadn't done that, I wouldn't have learned some of the lessons that allows me to do events throughout the calendar year in some very international events now. So it was truly, that's why I said it was an investment. There was still a return of investment, even though it wasn't quite that. And what do you think? What were like one or two points that you feel like you learned on that? You know, that it's really an answer to your question of, you know, what is success and illusion? And it depends on what we consider to be a success. And so many times we do, I found out what didn't work, which was successful. But if I had stopped there, it would have been a total loss. Yeah. And it is a matter of keeping the momentum. This is something else too, that I've embraced is momentum does not mean speed. It means movement. And as long as we're moving, we are able to receive the benefits of those experiences. Because out of that experience, I have built some very deep friendships that have benefited me years later. I love that you bring up the fact, look, if something happens like that, is that you keep moving forward, right? You don't just allow that experience to take you over and say, well, that didn't work. And I love that you bring up the fact that even if something like that happens, you look at what worked and what didn't work. And then you adjust and then keep going. Right? That's such an important key for when it comes to business and entrepreneurship. Well, it allows us to be real because I don't know very many people out there that what in the business and all of a sudden everything worked perfectly. Right. And you look at, you know, most of the the entrepreneurs that we think about, Bill Gates, Sir Richard Branson, I mean, these people had what we call in the industry rocks that they could put on the table. It was things that didn't work. And what did we learn from that? That was actually now the foundation of what we have in our life and our businesses that are really benefiting society. Yeah, that's awesome. Well, I know that you teach also one of the main things that you teach is these three steps right to success. And tell everybody what that means and each one of those things and what, you know, how they apply it to their life when it comes to having success. Well, what I have really embraced is that when a business and entrepreneur has these three things in their business or life, they will be successful. What I don't know is what I call the gestation period, the time from when you plant the seeds and you'll have a harvest. But the first thing is to be seen. People think that just because they have this magical product, this service, the best mousetrap in the world, that people are going to come to them. We've been told, build it and they will come. It's a lie. It's not going to happen. That's an illusion, right? And that we get concerned about, well, how do we look and if we're really being seen, are we going to be criticized? Are we going to, you know, have the haters show up? And the answer is yes. Yeah. And, you know, Richard Branson actually said, if you're not being sued, you're not about to far enough. But I'm not going that far. Right. And but the reality is that people will watch you. People will, and you just said you were watching some of my videos that I have no idea that you were doing. Yeah. But if we're the best cup secrets, we do not have the opportunity to make the impact in people's lives that we can if we're willing to be seen. Well, and I want to add to that too, is as I've learned in my own personal experience, we have no idea the influence that we have over people and who's watching, right? I mean, I have people years later come back to me and say, Becky, this happened in my life and I watched one of your videos, whatever it is, and it made such a big difference. And we as people that are that never would have happened if I didn't take the action to at least be out there and share from my heart my authentic, you know, sincere heart. So I love that you say that is being seen, you've got to be willing to get out there and share the message or whatever it is that comes to you being sincere. Right. So the next thing is to be safe. S-A-F-E and I don't know many people if anyone is teaching this right now. And what I mean by that is whenever we're engaged with a person with a project, with a speech tonight, being together on the show, it really is, there is no agenda. There is no hook. There is just a emphasis of making a difference, making a connection. And when you do that, people will start being drawn to you. I call it becoming a people magnet because it's really about what I call active listening. And when you're wanting to know a person's story, really about who they are, what is their backstory? Where did they come from? What makes some of the same questions you asked me at the beginning of the show tonight? And when we do that, people are so taken aback because they haven't had that opportunity. And whether or not you're the solution, you're the connection when you have that relationship, you many times can be that resource to facilitate to whatever solution they may need. But it really is that basic element of having that really strong relationship. Yeah. And being safe. I love that that's not something that people, a lot of people think. But when we create a safe space for people, we open up the opportunity to connect. So I love that you're teaching that. That's so then the third thing is to be relevant. And most people think, well, I have a product or service that is needed. And that's probably true. But that's not being relevant. Relevant is having a product that is not only needed, but now is desired by your perfect client, the person that has that pain point that you're there to solve whatever that might. Oh, true. And then you have that connection and those three elements together that be seen, be safe to be relevant. You will be successful. Now, something that is unique is, you know, many people now as entrepreneurs are doing it virtually. They don't have a brick and mortar store. But if we're doing that, be seen, be safe, be relevant in our marketing, in our videos, in our expression, however, we're showcasing what we have to offer to our society, our niche market, then people will come into our virtual story just like they would a brick and mortar store. Yeah, they'll look at us and see that we have something that they're at least curious about. So we don't even have to chase them anymore. And that's a very old rule that I don't think even worked well when I was being taught. So relationships in the kid the basis for success. So when you do teach this also in sales, sales training that you do as well, right? I do, you know, it's really a about elevate and separate. How are you different from not better than when you do that, you can embrace your celebrity. And I'll ask audiences, how many of your celebrities are usually I'll get maybe a third of the room. But when we have the definition that we're different from not better than then every hand can go up. Because what I equate it to is we are all born with a light, a spotlight, if you will, and we have been taught that we push everybody else into the light. But the reality is, if we don't step into our light, the only thing that will happen is it will go out. Nobody will know we're there. And that's that book that dies inside of you, that song that dies with you. And let's tell the stories, let's showcase what it is that we have to offer society. And in fact, J. Abraham, the father of consulting to corporations actually said, if you have a product or service that is needed in society, you don't only have an opportunity, but a responsibility will take that product or service to the world. And that changes the whole game. It's not about just making money. It's about serving and connecting and having a benefit of who and what you have to offer the people around you that makes all the difference. And that'd be responsibility. And one of the things that you said to me the other day when we were talking on the phone and I want just to just briefly talk about that before we end the show is I want to say why is it I mean when you said I'm having more well I said you're having more fun than you should be allowed to have is you said I love what I do. And how many people really can say that about what they do on a daily basis? How did you get to that point? Like at my age, I know people say, women, will you retire? Yeah. And the first time that it was asked of me, I got really almost offended because I said, this is not what I do. This is who I am. And I go, are you never off? Well, in what I do in connecting with people and understanding stories and building relationships. No, I'm never off. And again, with the belief of the law of reciprocal, I don't have to be selling. I can be sharing. I can be connecting and that return on that investment will happen organically. I don't have to worry about it. But I do have to have three elements. But yeah, having fun in what you do, it goes beyond who you are. It's your identity. It's making a difference in the world. And I love that you are such a walking example of that. And I know for me as well as I've looked to you and seen the things that you've done and your journey that you've been on and the people that you've been able to help and the trainings that you do. Thank you for doing what you do. Thank you for sharing today what you have and tell people real quick, really have a few seconds, but tell everybody where they find you. If they want to work with you on a one-on-one basis or come to some of your events. Where can they find you? Gary at Gary Burns International Spell about com and by three day events, you can go to breakthroughbusinessmastery.com. Awesome. Well, definitely worth the time and you've got the experience behind you. But most importantly, I love you do what you do. And that you love what you do because it shows every time I talk to you about that. So thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing your wisdom with us and the listeners today. So my pleasure. Thank you. Thank you. We're out of time. And so we'll have to wrap things up. But I'm Becky Samson, the host of It's About Time on the Think Tech Live Streaming Network series. We've been talking to my dear friend Gary Barnes about the three keys to success and is success an illusion? I want to thank Gary for coming on today and sharing his valuable insights into what it takes to be successful. So thank you, Gary. And I know we all benefit from hearing from you today. So and thanks to our broadcast engineer and floor manager and to J. Videl, our executive producer who makes this show possible. And of course, I'll see you on Wednesday for more of It's About Time on Think Tech Hawaii. I'm your host Becky Samson. Mahalo everyone. Thank you.