 Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm Jonathan Astley of Jonathan Astley calm And I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic He's into you, but his words say otherwise Really quickly if you're new to my channel, please do me a favor and hit the subscribe button and hit the bell So you can be new notified of new content. I shoot about three or four videos per week. All right our topic He's into you, but his words say otherwise and let me tell you where this came about this topic One of you wrote in the comment section about a man who was demonstrating a lot of actions That he was into this woman in other words He called all the time he texted all the time he he wanted to spend time with her and Yet his words didn't seem to match So we've often heard that we you know, you've heard the phrase actions matching words right oftentimes a lot of times Manor words words words words words words words, but their actions don't match it reminds me of my fair lady If you love me show me, okay? So in this particular case she was expressing how this man would text all the time I mean incessantly texting communicate and basically, you know, it Demonstrated from an action perspective. He was into her and yet he had trouble saying the words I love you. I had trouble saying, you know, where this relationship is going So I wanted to dig in deeper in that and if you're not familiar with the book The five love languages by Gary Chapman the five love languages by Gary Chapman He talks about the way we Express love and each person has their own different way of expressing love for example There's words of affirmation or adoration as we Leo's like to be adored Or at least that's the way I am number two Quality time number three physical touch Number four acts of service and number five gifts so in this particular case we might assume that his action of Constantly texting might be an act of service, but I don't really feel like that's what that is In fact in this particular case, I don't think his actions are really demonstrating much other than he'd likes He's connected with her in some way But I want to go a little bit deeper because I do believe it's so Important that we use our words as well You know that we express adoration for our partner that we express appreciation that we express affection through our words and Even going so far to demonstrate where you want to see this relationship headed Okay, oftentimes men and women will will lean back a little bit on the whole where this Relationship is going in the early stages and yet in my purview I believe it's important to start leaning in once you become intimate with a partner and you start progressing down the path of Relationship there should be some sort of conversation about what each other wants in relationship So it's important to be using our words not just to demonstrate Adoration for a partner but to affirm that this is a partnership that you want to go down So in this particular case where the man's actions were merely, you know, demonstrating he was into her But we don't know what the motivation was was the motivation just purely sex or were they doing Quality time together And that's the other key component. Are they doing quality activities together? Are they doing quality hobbies together? Are they doing quality mutual interest together? Because ultimately that's how you build the roots to deeper trust in relationship And that's my invitation for most everybody is to lean into the roots that need to be established in Relationship and words is one of those important roots being able to express ourselves because ultimately for unable to express either adoration or affirm that this relationship Has some consequence to it and what I mean by Consequence I mean it has some substance to it that has some real merit to it then it could be a Frustrating frustrating relationship if two people aren't using their words and so in this particular case Yes, I get his actions might seem like he's into her, but if the words aren't following up Then you have to ask yourself. Is this really a relationship worth investing and that's just my invitation in this particular case And again the book the five love language is something I highly recommend along and I'm going to mention this in almost all my videos My book what the heck is self-love anyway as well as my book if you're not familiar with my book Understand men now the relationships men commit to and why I highly recommend checking out this book as well It's a bit remedial. I'll be candid with you It was written very basic and yet it's some basic principles about understanding men And I'm going to be shooting more videos about what's in the context of this book as well Now if you have a question that you think would be Video worthy, please do me a favor post a comment of a really legitimate good question That I can shoot a video around because I'm always looking for good content I want to be able to satisfy your needs wants and desires and let me just say when you do post a comment I do my best to read every single one of them I try to even respond back because there's great value. Also, I know many of you are interested in private coaching There's a link in the description below to schedule a free discovery call because you might need some male Perspective in your love life whether it's to notice your blind You know to observe your blind spots from that male perspective or maybe you are in a relationship And you're going gosh, I'd like some feedback about the guy I'm with and that's something I'm a master at so again, check out that free discovery call and the link in the description All right, that was a mouthful, so I hope you got some value from this video I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan bear a hug of self love I'm gonna reach into the computer and give your video and reach give you a hug of love I'm gonna ask you to turn to somebody and give them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love And we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks so much and wishing you a fabulous day. Bye. Bye now