 Hello everyone welcome to another Narc Survival Live video but this is no ordinary video. This is the five year anniversary video. Yes I first started doing this five years ago, August the 16th 2018 and of course it is now August the 16th 2023. So yes I've been doing this five years and believe it or not I am just as enthusiastic if not more than I was when I started this five years ago. So I don't see any signs of me stopping this anytime soon. I am going to continue with it. I do enjoy it. I love helping people and spreading this information video down below by giving it a thumbs up and now on to the topic. The narcissist is miserable without you. I don't know for many of you that may be quite hard to believe. You may wonder how can they be miserable without you. Because you've gone on to their social media you've seen all of these pictures and videos and they look so happy without you. You see these four smiles this fake laughter they're web their new supply they go into all of these places nice restaurants they're holding hands walking on the beach they're doing all of these typical romantic things and they're giving the new supply everything that you wanted from them. Everything that you've waited for but they lie to you they think to you because the reality is that no they're actually not happy without you at all. They're actually very miserable without you. And this is a fact because there is one thing we all have in common as human beings and it is just the way that we are designed. Yes we may have empathy narcissists may lack empathy but that does not mean that they don't have any emotions that does not mean that they do not suffer just as if you were to do it if you were to do the very things that they did to you you would feel how they feel and how they really feel is not good and in fact it's potentially a hundred times worse for them because of how they portray the false image they don't accept the shame they run from it they don't want to deal with it they don't want to process the emotions but you cannot run from that you cannot run from that it will catch up to you. They can try to fight it they can try to deflect it away they can shift the blame onto you they can start smear campaigns and stupid networks they can do all of these things but that does not make a difference the shame will continue to build up inside of them and they will not feel good about it. I can't really describe exactly how they might feel but I know it's not good I know it's really bad and I can look back from my own experiences where I did things that I wasn't proud of and I look back and I think okay maybe I wish I didn't do that maybe that was wrong because I do have empathy and compassion for other people I can feel other people's pain so of course there are times in my life many times where I have felt a lot of guilt a lot of shame as a result of my own actions and of course at times I took full responsibility for things that maybe I shouldn't have although I did play a part in it and we should always take responsibility for where we find ourselves because that is the only way that we can fix it that is the only way that we can process the emotions that come along with it but if you just imagine if you just think back and remember one of the worst things you ever did in your life something really bad and you know it was wrong you know that you shouldn't have done that remember how that made you feel you felt the shame you felt the insecurity it didn't feel right to you and for narcissists you have to multiply that shame by a hundred times and then you will understand how they feel every day because these types of people they can never really be happy they don't get that sense of well-being that we get just from doing nothing just from being ourselves just from talking connecting with other people being authentic being authentic being real no they don't get that at all they don't get to experience that and you should already know that when you were in a relationship with them you could not connect to them emotionally it's like there was a blockage between you and them you couldn't understand them and they couldn't understand you and I believe that a big part of that is because of the shame they run from the shame when in fact the very thing that you need to do is practice acceptance radical acceptance and just say okay this happened there's nothing we can do about it now it's taken place what are we going to do now how are we going to move past it if reality and the truth is so important and the future is so important then what are we going to do now and that is the mindset that you need to have especially with the things that they did to you you need to have that mindset that's I don't know I'm just going to open my umbrella it's raining pretty heavy down there I think it's about to come over this way look at that you can see the rain just there and it's not raining on me yet oh wait it's coming yeah it's got you know it took a few seconds to get to me as you can see it's you know there's something about it I think it's quite beautiful in the rain yeah I like this part because you know I do come here quite often but yeah that's really what we have to do is practice radical acceptance feel the fear feel the shame and do it anyway yes it's going to hurt yes you're going to feel pain yes you're going to feel a knot in your stomach but you know what that's much better than living a life full of misery and pain living a life when you were you were where you will never be happy it's much better than doing that you have to accept it and let it go you have to accept it and let it go and I'm not justifying what you've experienced what was done to you no I'm not justifying that at all but the more that you label it and identify with it it's only going to control you for the rest of your life remember as William Shakespeare said nothing in this life is good or bad but thinking makes it so and I'm not saying that what happened to you was not bad but you have to reframe it otherwise you're never going to be able to let it go you're never going to be able to move past it and it's going to forever control you and weigh you down and just look at it that's exactly what narcissists do that's exactly what narcissists do and that is why they'll never be happy they will never get to experience real love intimacy a deep emotional connection with anyone they will never get to experience any of that and that is why that is why and I can tell you earlier in my life there were times when I always felt miserable I felt a lot of shame you know it's only the last few years since I started studying narcissism as I had my spiritual awakening that is when a lot of suppressed memories started to come up and I would just accept them and let them go not even label them you don't have to look around and see the perpetrators as these evil demons monsters because if you do that you're just giving them power over you they're just further going to control you and you're going to be further victimized it's not going to do any good for you this is the secret to true happiness it's accepting it and letting it go letting go of the resistance because what you resist persists which means that it's never going to end it's always going to be like that and yeah what this means is that narcissists they will always be miserable of course if they did just accept it and they let go of the resistance by doing that yes then they would finally be able to experience real love real intimacy a real connection that all comes from letting go of the resistance but I think they hold on because deep down they believe that they're never going to experience that and the crazy part about it is by just accepting those feelings and emotions of never being able to experience it that is the very thing that would lead them to it as crazy as it sounds that is the truth if they would just let go of this idea of them not being good enough of them being unlovable and if they just looked at themselves in the mirror and said you know what maybe I'm not anything special maybe I am nothing so what let's start now let's try to be better let's try to be something more let's probably see I am soaked I am soaked you know what the crazy thing is I already knew it was going to rain I saw the clouds coming over here at the Thunder I came here to do a video I thought if it rains it rains who cares it'll make it more interesting for this five year anniversary video but that's just so you know this is a perfect example just let things be let things happen take place naturally yes you might get wet it may feel uncomfortable but that's okay feel the discomfort feel the pain that's something that you should definitely do it will be good for you then you will be able to go past it but Master says no they're not going to do that and I know it's crazy because yes as I said all they have to do is just let go of that resistance and just look at themselves and just say okay maybe I am nothing maybe I am no good that's really a good starting point for anyone because once you accept that that should be a motivation okay let's be better but when you have this ego you're better than everyone you can't grow without mindset you're just going to stay this life that's no good but Master says why do they do this why they let go why do they hold on to the resistance of course the reason why is because yes to be fair they have experienced some things that led them to be very paranoid and unable to trust people yes that may be true they made them think that people are out to get them so they have to get them first made them think that the world is unfair to them the world is not a safe place so you have to cheat you have to lie you have to steal you have to do all of these things you have to deceive because they have this mindset that they're ahead of everything they're smarter the more intelligent they're better they're more ready than everyone else and they have to put themselves in that position but they're always badly for these reasons that's why they will change because they don't want to do without trying to discover they're highly advised you to forgive yourself and forgive the narcissist it doesn't matter what they've done it doesn't matter how bad it was this is about you this is about you freeing yourself moving on growing and becoming the best version of yourself you can't become yourself if you're holding on to the past you're forever going to be stuck there so you have to let it go many of you many of us have done that i've done that myself of course many times i have processed my childhood traumas that doesn't mean that that it doesn't come up sometimes that i still feel some mild discomfort no of course not but at this point i'm able to work through it i feel it and then i let it go that's what you have to do to heal and when you do that you well feel happy you really well you'll feel good about yourself 99% of the time and often for no reason at all for no reason at all even if you don't have anything or anyone you can still feel good you can still feel happy that doesn't mean that you'll want to spend the rest of your life alone of course not when you're happy you decide to make other people happy too so yeah it's all around a very good thing for society when people are happy they're more productive they're more compassionate they're just better people all around so yeah this is the problem of the narcissist they can't let go of the resistance for you i advise you to give people what they need that's how you let go of the resistance rising back maybe you too because that's it for a lot of people they look at it like they may want something but then they feel like it's something they could never obtain so then they push it away or they bury it beneath them when the reality is that if you just let go of the resistance and you accept it you accept that you want it that you let it go that is the best chance you'll ever get manifest in it into reality what's blocking these things from coming into fruition is your own resistance and same with us as it's their own resistance of course that's all they ever wanted just something like anyone they wanted it a lot and they resisted it they buried it beneath them because they were told that they are unlovable that's the message that they got in their childhood and they resisted those emotions that's not what you should do of course there's plenty of things that my life that have told me you're unlovable you're useless you'll never be anything you're a pile of shit so all of this of course there's plenty of things in my life that have told me that I just had to accept it instead of by pushing it away I just thought okay what if it's true what if I am that I want what do we do now of course what I can do is accept it and then just try to be the best person and look at it like because it's the truth the person that you are today is an article that said that every cell in our entire body regenerates after three years you will feel much happier you will feel much better about yourself and you will have more to give to other people the people you care about this is why unfortunately yes narcissists they will always be measured make them just go to them and tap this acceptance focus on moving forward in your own life people have to have to focus on that you can't change other people so yeah that's a message for this five-year anniversary video of nark survivor thank you all for joining me if it was helpful please give it a thumbs up down below let me know your thoughts in the comment section subscribe share the video when I'm coaching you can book on my website it is narksurvivor.co.uk and check out my instagram as well nark survivor youtube and instagram new pictures and videos of my travels every day on there thank you all for joining me and I will talk to you soon