 The Kraft Foods Company presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeves. The Great Gilder Sleeves is brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company makers of Parquet, Margeron. Every day millions of women all over America serve Parquet, Margeron because it tastes so good. I like it, you love it, like millions who say their favorite, Margeron is Parquet. Parquet, Margeron, P-A-R-K-A, why it's wonderful. It's Saturday night and for the first time in weeks, Gilder Sleeves has spent an evening in the company of his boon companions at the Jolly Boys Club up over Floyd Munson's barbershop. Chief, I should like to take this opportunity to congratulate you personally on that last note you sang. That was a pit. Oh, it was nothing. With a spine on it. Don't spoil it, Chief, don't spoil it. There is a tavern in the town, in the town. Hold it, P-B, hold it, hold it, Pave. I'd like to say at this time, gentlemen, well you're probably going to think I'm being sentimental when I say this, but I should just like to say it this time. There is a tavern in the town, in the town. Hold it, P-B, hold it, Pave, the commissioner, the commissioner. Go ahead. I don't really want to make a speech at this time, but I should just like to say at this time, I should just like to say that I don't know where there's a finer bunch of fellas anywhere than right here, and that goes for anywhere. Very nice, very nice, likewise. I think it calls for a song. Yeah, a song. P-B had one he was trying to sing there. How about it, P-B? Tavern in the town? Yeah, I'm afraid I'm out of the mood right now, Mr. Chairman. Hey, I got one, I got one. Let me hit the piano there, Chief. You got one? Well, just one, gentlemen, and I've got to be going. Okay, just one. Here's one for Gildersleeve, the great lover. Oh, now fellas, I love you as I never loved before. Or my dream of love is all... Yeah, don't take any wooden nickels. Good night. Good night. Are you coming? What the heck with the light? Where's the stairs here? Where's the stairs? Gotta be careful now. Gotta be careful. I touched Leroy. Leroy, what are you doing up? Turn on the light, somebody. Just don't stand around. Finding me. Okay. Hey, I'm in the dark. You want me to break my neck? You're telling me. I'll be calling at this ungodly hour. If that's the wrong number, they can just take that phone out of here, that's all. They can just take it right out of here. Darn phone company, call you up in the middle of the night and tell you it's the wrong number. Hello? Yes, this is Summerfield, 8126. Is this Mr. Gildersleeve? Yes, this is Mr. Gildersleeve. Who was it? How was it? Will you shut up so I can find out? Pardon me, who's calling? I didn't get it. Mrs. Peavey. Mrs. Peavey. Yes, Mrs. Peavey. Eat that last, Mrs. Peavey. I'm afraid I didn't get it. Mr. Peavey? Well, I know he's not Mrs. Peavey. I left him at the Jolly Boys Club. It must have been three hours ago. Or rather, he left us. He hasn't come home. Mr. Peavey hasn't come home. He hasn't come home, Bert. Well, Mrs. Peavey, I... Have you called the police? Peavey, you know what I think? I think he's missing. Now, don't you worry, Mrs. Peavey, you just leave everything to me. I'll call the police. This is a job for the missing persons bureau. You mean the homicides squad? I mean the homicides squad. No, I don't. I mean the missing persons. Well, anyway, they're all the police. Now, don't you worry, Mrs. Peavey, and don't get excited. You just go back to your little bed and keep calm. We'll find your husband for you if we have to drag the reservoir. You're the chief of police. Well, I thought I heard a sound, and I saw all the lights out over here, but when I tried to phone the lawn, it was busy. So I threw on my coat back. Come in quickly, Leela. Quickly. Why? Let her lock up, I guess. Hi, Mrs. Ranson. Guess what happened? Leroy. What? Mr. Peavey has disappeared. Marjorie. What? I want to tell her. Now, go upstairs, both of you children. Go on back to bed. Oh, Kelly, just stay down. It's three o'clock in the morning. No time to be running around the house and your bare feet. Now, do as I say. Come on, Marge. Make her come on. I'm coming. Marge, tell me. What in the world? Now, don't get alarmed, Leela. There's nothing to be alarmed about, you understand? There's nothing to be alarmed about. Is that a gun you're carrying? There's no water pistol. I'll tell you that. Well, couldn't you put it on the mantle of someplace? Don't worry. I know how to handle it, Leela. I'm a deputy, you know. Well, tell me now. Is something about Mr. Peavey? I don't want to alarm you, Leela. But I'm afraid there's been foul play. Oh! Peavey has disappeared. Physically terrible. A weirdo thing like Mr. Peavey. Oh, I just think that's terrible. You don't suppose he could have fallen down somewhere and sprained his ankle? Oh, anything could have happened. What's worse, the police, as usual, have proved themselves completely incompetent. I called the chief two hours ago and told him to get right over here, and he's not here yet. So I've taken over. I phoned Floyd Munson and told him to round up all the other deputies. When they get here, we'll form a searching party. You mean you're going out looking for him in the dark? Well, I think one of us ought to stay here so the others can report back. Oh, it's a rock, Martin. You're so brave. I'm glad I'm not all alone over there in my house with things like this going on. I'll look out for you, Leela. Sit down. Don't you want to take off your fur coat? Grace is no. All I've got on under this is my nightgown. I just threw on the best thing that I could find. That's them. If it's people, I'd better hide. No reason to hide. Just keep your coat on. Well, Judge Floyd, come in, fellas. Get your sleeve for heaven's sake, put that gun down. You're a minister of the community. It just so happened, Judge, that I have a permit for this gun. Well, stop waving it around. Well, hiya, Mrs. Ransom. How's it going? Leela, this is an unexpected pleasure. I just this minute arrived. Yeah, she just this minute arrived. I saw the light sign over here and I was afraid it might be a appendicitis or something, so I just ran over. Yeah, she just ran over. Hey, what's this about the peeve? Yeah, Floyd tells me this. It's all true, fellas. His wife called me about 1 or 1.30 and asked if he was here. Well, you know we said good night to him about 10.30 or a quarter to 11. I probably just laid down someplace and took himself a little nap. Not peeve. He goes straight home. Gildy's right. If it had been anybody else, but peeve. Well, what I did, right away, I called the chief. I told him to get himself right over here. That was two hours ago. Now, I don't like to say this, but this is typical. The chief is dead on his feet, him and his whole department. That's why I called you, fellas. What we've got to do is throw out a dragnet. Comb every nook and cranny. We ain't going to get very far with a three-man dragnet. Aren't there any others coming? Judge is the only one I could raise. What a town. Well... Who's that? I'll go see. Well, chief, it's about time. Do come in. Hmm. Hi, chief. What kept you? Chief? What's this, a party? Uh, just this minute. Yeah. Mrs. Ransom. Where? Uh, just this minute. Got him. A fine bunch of deputies. You've got chief. These two are the only ones I could hold of. Suppose there was a real emergency. Suppose... Now, just a minute, commissioner. Who authorized you to go calling out the deputies? Who authorized me? Nobody. But it's a lucky thing there's somebody in this town who's got a little gumption. I'll tell you that. We had to depend on the police department, why there'd be burglars running wild all over the place. Commissioner, you just handled your department, and I'll handle mine. Well, handle it. Go ahead, handle it. Let me see you. Okay. For heaven's sake, you'd think it had all night. A man is missing, chief. His wife is tearing her hair. Do something. Get on the ball. It's two hours since I called you up and told you to get over here. Commissioner, when a man is missing, we don't go tearing off after the first loudmouth that begins to hoop and holler. Hoop. That is not our method. No. When a man is missing, we go to his home first and look under his pillow. Under his pillow? What for? This. What's that? A note from Peavey. Read it. The mortgage is in the safe deposit box. The key to the safe deposit box is in the safe. The combination to the safe is in my handkerchief drawer. Don't forget the water of the rubber plant, Richard. How do you like that? Just blue town. The old son of a gun. Well, he's more of a man than any of it. More from the great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. Right now, I'd like to say a few words about Parquet Margeron made by Kraft. The most delicious, the most tasty, the smoothest. Just a second, friend. May I interrupt? Well, as a regular listener, I should have something to say about these commercials. They should be factual, brief, and sensible. Now go ahead. Well, I was about to say that Parquet Margeron is a delicious spread for bread, rolls, pancakes, and waffles. Now you're getting somewhere. Parquet Margeron is made from top quality ingredients. Now wait, wait, what do you mean by that? I mean that Parquet is made from choice products of American farms, the finest farms in the world. Why, Parquet is the most delicious, the most satisfying. On a whole, it's, don't get carried away. You're talking to adults that just stick to plain facts. How about this fact? Parquet Margeron, made by Kraft, contains 15,000 units of vitamin A per pound all year round. That's worth knowing. And to sum it all up, every day, millions of women all over America serve Parquet Margeron because it tastes so good. Check. To market, to market, to get some Parquet. Home again, home again, try it today. You'll like it, you'll love it like millions who say their favorite Margeron is Parquet. Parquet Margeron, P-A-R-K-A-Y, it's wonderful. Now let's get back to Summerfield, which is simply buzzing. The proprietor of PV's pharmacy has disappeared. The whole town's talking, and the Jolly Boys have been called an extraordinary session. All right, gentlemen, let's come to order, shall we? Yeah, let's get going. Everybody's singing if you were gone. Gosh, I didn't mean anything by it. Just got to thinking about the peeve, and I thought of the song. I miss old peeve. It's simply a question of good taste, Chloe. I keep asking myself, why did he do it? He had everything to live for. He probably had his reasons. Can we get started now? It's 7.20. Gentlemen, we have called a special meeting of the Jolly Boys Club to take up the question of one of our members who is absent. I refer to brother peeve. You haven't said anything we don't all know, judge. Let's get down to brass tacks. I'm sorry if we've wasted a few seconds of your valuable time, Mr. Gildersleeve. Nobody wants to hear you blowing off all night. Let's get down to brass tacks. Let's not act like this. Peeve is gone. The rest of us have got to stick together. The chief is right. You're right, chief. Well, the point is, peeve is gone. Now, what are we going to do about it? What the heck can we do when a fella's gone? He's gone. Peeve knew what he was doing. Ah, but did he? That's one of the questions which we, his friends, might well ponder. What are you talking about? Ponder. I'm referring to the possibility of temporary insanity. Or amnesia. Loss of memory flight. Perhaps he... Oh, horse collar. He left a note. He remembered where everything was. He told his wife. Sure, he had no more amnesia than I have. He may be still right here in town. For all we know. We found out a little more than that, commissioner. The department's been investigating. Now, what's new, chief? You've been holding out. Well, we know peeve was seen at the depot about 1145 that night. And we know there's an 1155 train southbound. And since he wasn't seen again... Ah, I think we may conclude he went south. I think so? Well, so he went south. What of it? It narrows our search, you little commissioner. Wait a minute. Did he buy a ticket? No, you don't need one. Then how do you know he got on the 1155? There's another train at 1202, goes north. I didn't know there was a 1202. Has been for three months. I sent my mother-in-law home on it in April. She was with us for Easter. Well, in that case... I must say, chief, as a detective, you're about as smart as fearless fosdick. Mr. Gildersleeve, I would like to point out to you that the department has made no official investigation of this matter. Why not, for heaven's sake? Because we've had no official complaint, that's why. That's no excuse for just sitting around. Peeve was your friend, wasn't he? It just so happens that the law's... Tell him, will you judge? The chief is right, Gilder. The law... Oh, the law makes me sick. Between cops and judges, I don't know how any of us can sleep in our beds at night. Inactivity. And you always back each other up. One hand washes the other. Well... Mr. Gildersleeve, I refuse to lose my temper. But I don't criticize your department. Not that I couldn't either. Gentlemen, gentlemen, let's remember why we're here. Well, why are we? You called this meeting? I thought it was for poker. We're here because a fellow jolly boy has gone into the silences. North or south, east or west, he is gone. We have a duty. We have an obligation to his wife, to Mrs. Peeve. Why should we butt in? What are we supposed to do? I think we should call on Mrs. Peeve in a body and express our regrets as a club and simply put ourselves at her disposal in any way. Sounds crazy to me, but if that's what clubs do, let's do it. I want to do the right thing. We owe it to him, fellas. He... he'd appreciate it. I think it'd be a nice thing to do. Yes, it's a nice gesture. I think it would be best if one of us were to act as a spokesman for the group. We'd all go, of course, but I think if I were to speak... Why you? Peeve was a pretty good friend of mine, judge. Mine too, but I don't want to make the speech. Let Gildersleeve do it. He's good with women. Very well. If that's the will of the group, I merely thought that as a jurist and as Peeve's personal attorney... I'd like to remind you that it was me she called in the middle of the night. That's right. Me, not you, judge, not his personal attorney, and not the police. She was too smart for that. Mr. Gildersleeve, I'm going to get tired of you writing the department pretty soon. Hey, no attention, chief. Gildy, if you want to make the statement for the club, go ahead. If it means so much to you. All right, I'll make it. Is that settled? If someone will put it in the form of a motion. All those in favor say aye. Aye. Let's do it now and get it over and we can still play a little poker. Isn't that funny? All the years I know Peeve, I've never been inside his house. I have. Got bit by Peeve's parrot. They got a parrot? Yeah, there's a parrot. I checked him the other night. Checked him for what? Just checked him. It's routine. There's a light in the front room. I imagine that's where she's sitting. Is that her peeking out from behind the window shade? Very likely. She must have heard the car drive up. I mean, might as well go in. No use making her worry. I want to warn you, fellas, she's in a rather nervous state. So, we'll have to be just as tactful as possible. Just leave that to me, judge. I'll do the talking, judge. It's a few friends of Mr. Peeve's, Mrs. Peeve. Mr. Gellersleeve, Judge Hooker, Chief Gates, and we wanted to... Hey, how about me? Oh, yes, and Mr. Munson. We just wanted to see you a minute. Oh, the parrot, huh? Good evening, Mrs. Peeve. Any news, judge? No, no news. I'm sorry to say. You've heard nothing yourself? Not a word. I can't understand it. Well, say now, that bird's clever. He said, what's all the commotion? Mrs. Peeve, you know Mr. Gellersleeve, I believe. Yes, I know him. And Chief Gates? Oh, yes, yes, I had the pleasure the other night. That is, it wasn't exactly a pleasure under the circumstances, but we've met. Do you know Mr. Munson? No. Well, pleased to meet you, Mrs. Peeve, I'm sure. I often heard Peeve speak of you. Quiet, baby. Well, Mrs. Peeve, we... I'll handle it, judge. Mrs. Peeve, we all happen to be members of the Jolly Boys Club, of which your late husband, which your husband was formerly a member. It still is a member, I mean. We shall always think of him as a member of our group. Indeed we shall. All right, Chief. We shall always think of Mr. Peeve as a member of our club. But we just thought, as an organization, we should call on you and state officially our profound regret and sorrow at his unexpected departure from Summerfield. And we just want to say that if there's anything we can do, why, we'd be glad, only too glad to do it. Is that it, fellas? We didn't have anything particular in mind, Mrs. Peeve, just any little errands or... Maybe he left a suit at the cleaners. We could pick it up. Oh, Floyd, forth! Our thought was simply to be helpful in any possible way during your time of sorrow, Mrs. Peeve. Yeah, that's it. Always knew no good at summer, it should hangin' around that Jolly Boys Club. There's only one night a week, Mrs. Peeve. Yes. If you could have seen the innocent pleasure your husband used to derive from our little games, Mrs. Peeve, I'm sure you'd feel differently. That's right. Win or lose, he'd never get sore. Well, I remember one night he was having a terrible run of cards. He must have been out about thick paint. Mr. Munson is right. Mr. Peeve never lost his temper or gloated. Never swore or used profane language. You should be proud of him. Well, he's gone now. We realize that, Mrs. Peeve, and that's why we... Always knew no good at coming out of that club. Put ideas in the rich's head. Oh, now, Mrs. Peeve, we never... Oh, now, Mrs. Peeve, we never... Baby. Well, as I... I think we'd better go. Mrs. Peeve's been under quite a strain, and it probably tires her to stand around gasping with strangers. We just wanted to tell you that there's anything we can do. There isn't anything. Well, we just... Good night, Mrs. Peeve. Good night. Good night, Mrs. Peeve. Good night. Mrs. Peeve, before we go, I'm sure that we are all taking an unnecessarily pessimistic view of the situation. I'm sure that somewhere, at this very moment, Mr. Peeve is thinking of you, possibly making plans to return. After all, to him, you are the center of the universe, a lodestar, irresistibly drawing him home. That bird knows something. Stick around, folks. Mr. Gilderslave might hear something about Mr. Peeve. Every day, millions of women all over America serve Parque, Margarine because it tastes so good. Try it soon. See if you don't prefer Parque, Margarine's fine, fresh flavor to any other brand, as millions do. It's true, every day, millions of women all over America serve Parque, Margarine because it tastes so good. Look first for the margarine of craft quality. Parque, Margarine, made by craft. To market, to market, to get some Parque. Home again, home again, try it today. You like it, you love it, like millions who say their favorite margarine is Parque. Parque, Margarine, P-A-R-K-A-Y, it's wonderful. Postcard for Mr. Peeve. Peeve? Well, sure enough. Dear friend Gilderslave, sorry to trouble you, but would you mind forwarding my light overcoat? Thanking you in advance, our Peeve. P.S., you may tell Mrs. Peeve for me that when the parrot goes back to sleeping in his own room, she can reach me at general delivery, Old Point Comfort, Virginia. Good old Peeve, good night, folks. The Great Gilderslave is played by Harold Perry. It is written by John Wheaton and Sam Moore. The music is by Jack Meakin. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, James Erickson, William Randolph, Shirley Mitchell, Earl Ross, and Richard Legrand. This is John Lang saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Good night. Listen in again next Wednesday for the further adventures of The Great Gilderslave. Good night. Here's a real pantry pal, a favorite cheese food that's just grand for all occasions. 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