 Some of y'all, I swear you don't understand how bad this credit means. This man cannot write above a third grade level. Hey guys, this is my review for Rebel Moon Part 1, A Child of Fire. If anything Zack showed that he cannot write. We've already known this for a while. Army of the Dead was a brilliant example of it. And even his style sort of kind of lost its essence because he was the D.O.P. We all kind of made the joke for the longest time that Zack Snyder is a glorified D.O.P. But now that he's had two instances of doing so, it's kind of like maybe he's a good at telling a D.O.P. what to do. It really does look like he kept those Japanese rare lenses that he used in Army of the Dead, which, yes, on paper that sounds cool. But when you are barely in focus and the person barely behind you is a smidge, a smudge against the wall, that's not exactly the greatest lens you want to use when you're wanting to do action scenes. But that's not even kind of the biggest issue I have with it. The best way I can describe this movie, it's as though Zack saw what Robert Rodriguez has done recently, especially with movies like Hypnotic, and thought, I can do the same thing, but in my style. But Robert Rodriguez just makes movies for fun. Are they usually always excellent? No. Do they try something different usually? Yes. There are some pretty obvious Rodriguez kind of choreography, awkwardness, strange mannerisms that happen in those movies. And that happens quite a bit in Rebel Moon. Mostly at this point I would tell you what the plot is, but if you've seen Seven Samurai, you're getting the plot. There is a difference between homage, taking inspiration, and directly taking the story. Now, while maybe what happens in the second half is in space, but it is still the exact same fucking plot. Down to the rice, god damn it. And then part two is going to be the ending of the Seven Samurai. Seven Samurai is four hours long and he couldn't fit that into a movie. That's something else I gotta say too. I have to say that the copium that the Snyder fans have been doing for this movie, I don't know what's wrong with you. I can understand when you are passionate about a director and his work, and I can understand that. I have a fucking Watchmen comedian poster on my wall because I like the Watchmen. I thought that Zack did a decent job, but do note, he didn't fucking write anything. He can take a story that has been very well laid out for him already and then he can do a decent job in terms of portraying it. And this movie proves that he does not do well without guidance, without assistance in the narrative department. There are so many instances of telling not showing in this movie. There's a general character, General Titus, who we are constantly reminded that he is a great tactician, that he is one of the greatest generals in the universe. We never see him do fucking anything. We don't even really see him fight anyone. Maybe that might be shown in the next one, but you don't just keep fucking repeating it. You're wasting precious story development time. We're telling the audience something that you already know. This was also evident in the Snyder cut of Justice League. While I definitely think it's better than the Joss Whedon, there's a ton of unnecessary shit. There is a scene in that movie where Steppenwolf has almost word for word the same fucking conversation with Darkseid, and that happens twice in the movie. Snyder does not know when to fucking cut, and that happens to an nth degree in this movie. To the point where his slow mo is slow mo, and then there's slow mo within that slow mo. The jokes that you've been hearing, it does happen. There are action parts where it's in slow motion and then a object makes contact, or a human makes contact, and then it goes into even more slow motion. The only problem is, the choreography in this movie is so fucking bland, and dry, and boring, that it shows off just how boring and dry it is, even more so when it's in slow mo. The very first fight scene that we see with the main character, Cora, fights these guards who are played by very prick, douchey South Africans. Funny enough, I'll give Snyder a point for that. If you ever wanted to use a really good bad guy voice, just have a South African. Chateau Coppoli showed that off in Elysium. When she goes in to take on all these guys, the choreography is that of like a television show. One of my friends made a comment that they could have shown her being tactical, kind of taking them out one by one, or I don't care about the size and whatnot, I know they say she's tiny, but you know, we've established that very poorly, but we have established that she's a warrior, but it's just how it happened. We've seen women like Halle Berry kick fucking ass in John Wick 3. Cause the choreography is good, because the choreography is intense, tight, and well laid out. That is not the case in Rebel Moon. You are so utterly bored in many of the action sequences throughout this movie, because one, you don't care about the characters. Two, you have no idea truly what the purpose of the fight scene is other than, oh, it's cool. Or three, they don't mean anything to the plot. There are a few scenes that are okay-ish. I liked the taming of the hippogriff. I thought that was cool. The introduction of the double sword lady, even though her design is a complete ripoff of the sisters from Kubo and the Two Strings, which again, another point that I should say, I already said that he ripped off Seven Samurai. Zack clearly takes a lot of things from a lot of different sources, 40K being one of them. I don't even really play 40K, but the is that you see the bad guy's armor. You're like, that's 40K. That's low grade 40K. The lacking amount of originality in this movie really weighs it down. It has some cool little things here and there to the point where you almost kind of wish you could see more of it, but the world building is so poorly done and so poorly conveyed that it doesn't invest you whatsoever. A movie that I reviewed earlier this year that is a great example of good world building, but bad narrative, The Creator. That movie had a cool world. It was intriguing. It was engrossing. The story sucked, but the visual storytelling going on in the background was really cool. This one doesn't even have that. The color grading is also really blue. I don't know if there's some people who said this movie looks gorgeous. It's kind of a variation of brown and gray with a little bit of blue and a lot of red here and there. You don't have any investment into any of these characters. Ray Fisher, fucking cyborg here, has a moment where he comes in and he has this really dramatic scene and you don't give a shit because you don't know who the fuck he is. Charlie Hunnam is also in this movie too and despite the fact that this man is British, I don't know if he just forgot what Scotland and Ireland sound like because his accent dips back and forth between the two. It's really weird. Francis from Deadpool is in this too and he's just playing a different variation of Francis and that's something else to say too. Ed Scrin and Sophia Bultella, apologies if I said that wrong. Both of those two have shown that they know how to do good choreography in the movies that they've done in the past. They know how to do the job but this movie does not give them the proper choreography to do so. There's a fight between the two of them near the end of the film that's... The film leans onto this really boring cliffhanger that it's supposed to draw you in for the next one. Maybe I'll watch it. Those of you out there are like, oh the director's cut's gonna be safe at all. You're gonna get a bunch of CG blood because for some reason there's no CG blood. Even though at the very end of the movie someone gets their skull pulled back to show like the fucking Matrix ripoff jack in the back. No, apparently we needed to hold the blood for the sneaky kid. And if any of you fucking say that the story's gonna be saved from that, they are clearly playing you. Netflix and Snyder know that you saps are gonna eat this shit up because you did for the Justice League. Justice League makes sense in the grand scheme of things. This one doesn't. They know they're going to get more viewership time out of you then you're playing right into their goddamn hand. I'm not gonna watch the director's cut because if these are any fucking indicators of what the overall story is, it's not gonna make it any better. It's just gonna make it longer and more boring. But in the end guys, my final rating for Rebel Moon part one is a two out of seven. This just... It was bland. It was very bland. It didn't have many redeeming features. They had a couple of cool like, oh that's an interesting thing. Like look at this weird spider slug thing that's mind controlling this dude. Or there's a giant human spider thing. Are the means in which they use distance communication even though we've shown that they can jump across planets. The more and more you think about this movie, the more and more your brain fucking hurts. I am upset I wasted two hours watching this. Anyways guys, let me know what you think. Even if you're Snyder fans, before you go blah blah blah in the comment section, I actually want you to tell me in as constructive of a way as possible and if you write above a third grade level, you're already better than Snyder. I want you to tell me why you think this movie is as good as it is. Don't give me general blah kind of like always because everyone wants to hate it or oh it's good because it's different. Oh it's good because it's not Star Wars Disney. I want some actual critique. Some actual real good criticism as to why you think this movie is good. I just want to see it because so far I haven't seen shit. Anyways guys, that's all for me. Hope you enjoyed this video. If you did, leave a like and if you're interested more subscribe. Until then, I'll see you guys next year.