 Hello there, lovers and friends! This is a video that is so long overdue on my channel, so I have to give a shout out to the sponsor, MeUndies, for inspiring this conversation and for pushing me to have it, and also for fitting me with this real cute set that I'm wearing right now. Today, we're talking about body image and specificity, how women feel about their bodies and their journey and their struggle and relationship with the W word. I'm talking about weight. As you know, on this channel, if I have a broad topic, I need to make sure that you all are represented to the best of my ability, so I put out a cast and call my Instagram, looking for women who are comfortable sitting around in their underwear and having a discussion that we don't get to have often, but we all have every single day in our heads. So I want to introduce you to five very special people. Sunday night, I had a baby, so being here today is my first day out of the house by myself, away from my baby, I might cry. And I realized that I don't like dieting, like I hate, like I would go through these moments like with my roommates where like we would like do insanity for like two months straight and like we would be in our apartment like going hard and then I just gained the weight right back. You know, there's a part of society who like doesn't even acknowledge like the nutrient, like deficiencies that come with weight loss or like losing your hair, like weight loss is glamorized. I abused laxatives in college or in high school and into college and my boyfriend at the time finding out that I was doing that and me getting to see his reaction, so getting to see what I was doing through someone else's eyes. Why does it really matter what my body looks like when it can do all this awesome stuff, and I can do all of this stuff as opposed to the number on the scale. So when people, when we, when people talk about weight, I'm like, why does weight matter unless you're stepping into a boxing ring? Everybody who is in this video is rocking their fave pair of miyandis and if you see anything that you like, you can go to miyandis.com slash shambudi because that is how you're going to score yourself 15% off the first pair that you buy plus free shipping and satisfaction guaranteed. Now the cool thing about the new feel free campaign is one, I am in it, but cooler than that is they go from size extra small to 4 XL because they're devoted to ensuring that their customers feel comfortable, feel cute and above all else have a size that suits them best. And if you go to the site and you don't see your size reflected, reach out to miyandis and they will do what they can to get a pair fitted just for you. I love that kind of devotion and that kind of just like let's work together. And so when they approached me very first and foremost to say, Hey, we want to do this with you and we want you to share a conversation with your audience about body image. I'm going to be honest with you guys. Initially, I didn't think that I was a fit because of my size. I have a societally acceptable body type, but when I really thought about it, I really don't have the greatest relationship with my weight. And I definitely don't have the best attitude or mindset about weight. The one thing that I have noticed is that there is zero relationship between how healthy I am and how skinny I am. And yet I tend to be more focused on how skinny I am versus how healthy I am. As a matter of fact, when I first began this YouTube channel in 2015, I was at the lowest weight that I probably have ever been at in my adult years. And that's because I was not doing well financially. Number one, number two, I was not in a healthy relationship. And overall, I wasn't in a healthy place for myself. And even though I recognize this was a very sickly time in my life, sometimes I look back at those videos and back at those pictures. And I think, gosh, like you look so good back then, like if only you can get back to that weight. And I actually needed to do this project a lot more than I initially recognized that I did. And even as I sat around with this new group of women and listened to their stories, I just had so many incredible aha moments that I cannot wait to share with you all. So up next, you're going to meet the five women and hear really in depth about their own personal journeys when it comes to loving and accepting their bodies. I was very athletic before I had a baby. I ran three marathons, like I'm running the Ellie marathon in March 2020. So the snapback game is real. But I don't know, it's definitely like intentional conversation I'm having with myself about my body and how I feel about it and just being okay. It's wild. It is wild being someone's mom and the source of their nourishment. Like that's not fun. Breastfeeding is not fun. That's just my personal opinion. But yeah, I'm his feeder. It's incredible that your body can do that. I know your life source. Yeah, for real. I've had that thought like my body's not mine anymore. And now that he's here, I still have that. I know that like I'm here for him. I'm here to support him in his life. And I get to create a new relationship with my body. Like I get to embrace these very large boobs that I now have. I had big boobs before and now it's like, oh great, they can get bigger. So the journey regarding my body and how I feel about it and like how comfortable I am in my skin has definitely been a really long one since I was a kid. I've just been through it, man. I like have been really, really large, really, really small and back again multiple times. And so it's been a lot like when I look in the mirror, sometimes I don't know what I'm looking at. Here come the dears. Sometimes I don't know what I'm looking at. And so a part of my journey has really been to not focus on what I look like. Of course, like you look at me, you see makeup and glam. That's who I am. I love it. Part of my like artistic flair, I guess. But there's so much more to like everyone. God, I'm like so dramatic. I don't know. It's a part of my journey. And me being comfortable in my skin is like not even feeling like I am my skin. I am me. And that's so separate than like my body. And I feel like everyone like should believe that because we're so much more like when I talk to my best friend's daughter, she's four. And I find myself saying, you're so cute. You're so adorable. You're so cute. You're so pretty. You're going to be such a looker one day. Like I'm like, what am I programming her to think is important? I'm like, this is so shallow. And you know, we all do it and we don't do it on purpose or to be malicious or to be shallow. But it's just what we're programmed to say and feel. And so I find myself wanting to focus on like my intellectuality, my my knowledge, my personality, like who I am, how I treat people, you know, my sense of humor. Like I that's who I see in the mirror. And that's who I've accepted. That's how I've accepted who I am and what I look like. I was actually an underweight kid. So I was underweight and I did gymnastics. I was like always active. So I just stayed underweight. And so I would just eat whatever I wanted because I like did gymnastics 20 hours a week. And I took dance classes and I was always like going when I got to college and I stopped all that. I started like gaining weight because I maintained the same eating habits. And so it was with the aggression of like gaining like 10 pounds a year, where I'm like, yeah, I'm just like 10 pounds heavier than I was last year, like whatever, 150. All right. Then two more years. All right. We're 170. And that was kind of the first like step of like, oh no, like, I know that I'm gaining weight. Then I would come home from college and like my dad would be like, you're gaining a little weight. You're like, thank you. And then I think a couple years ago, I was at another family event. My grandfather was like, you really got to get that weight down. You know, you really got to like really, you know, you really got to come down a little bit. And so it was just like this perception of trying to or this idea of me trying to be comfortable with myself while also hearing the people, the men specifically closest to me being like, hey, chill. I mean, it's only like to better me, like, you know, like it wouldn't be any like fault for me to be like, no, how dare you like insinuate that I need to die it because like probably, but also I don't want to. So yeah, because then that's also people assuming that you're not happy. Yeah, it's so crazy to me because I just met you and I would never think that you should be any other like you seem totally comfortable in your skin and I think you look awesome. And it's just yeah, it's so fun. It's so funny that guys kind of I think have way more varied tastes than we give them credit for, right? Everyone everyone thinks like, Oh, guys want this certain certain boobs certain, but whatever. And I don't even think that that's true. But yeah, I definitely felt like I needed to look a certain way for a partner. I definitely adopted a lot of that and I, you know, had eating disorder struggles. I mean, I feel recovered now, but that's a long journey to get there. And it's nice. I think I also acting you put your weight on your resume, like that's insane, right, to feel like you always need to show up and be a specific size or look a certain way. And I am just so happy that I've gotten to a point. Now, in my 30s, where I don't feel that same pressure, and it's so free. So coming from an Asian family, I think growing up, I was always the big one, which is crazy when you think about in the scope of it, right? So there's a picture of me. I think I'm 11 in the picture. I'm in a two piece coming out of like a pool or something. And that triggered the memory of someone in my family telling me that my legs were too big. And that I was like, big, you know, and I look back at that picture and I'm like, I'm just a regular kid, like so regular. And I think within that culture, beauty is defined as super slim and having a certain body type of being pale and being this and being that. And I definitely wasn't that. I played sports like my whole school life. And then university did martial arts and started powerlifting and realizing the strength of my body and realizing what my body could do. That really helped with me realizing, oh, wait, why does it really matter what my body looks like when it can do all this awesome stuff? Because in society, size wise, we're told to take up less space. Voice wise, we're told to take up less space. Like about our views, we're told to take up less space. So I think the physical is an extension of all of that, you know, about, yeah, yeah, like put on muscle, lift heavier weights. Like why not? I was and continue to be so incredibly blown away by the people who follow me and the strength and wisdom that they have. And that being said, I cannot wait to hear from you. So even though we have a whole lot of video left to do, do me a favor right now before you go and live your life elsewhere. I want to hear from you. Go in the comments section and tell me about your own journey with your body and your relationship with your weight. And as you type that, you can listen to the video a little bit more because I asked the women up next, what challenges they felt that women overall faced when it came to accepting their bodies. There's just so much comparison, you know, like whether it's you comparing your current self to a past self or to an expectation of a future self or just looking at others, like what she's got versus what I got and how hers sit versus how mine sit and her butt. I don't have a butt. It's like comparison is a killer compared to spare. It's those media images, which now I think we're like in this 24 seven cycle of those kind of images and everybody's showing their like highlight reel and it's filtered and it's not real. I have a big issue with the internet and I think everybody does and it's really, I mean, it's awesome at the same time. I love photos. I love photography. I love, you know, hearing people's thoughts, like what we're doing now. But of course, everything translates different on camera. So like what you guys are seeing and what like the audience, whoever's watching this is seeing it's going to be two different experiences. And these days we live our lives through the screen. And I think that's a big part of why everyone has so many body issues or insecurities and stuff. As everyone kept reiterating, self acceptance is not a destination. It's a goal. And one that quite often people have to strive to meet daily. The person on IG who you think is hashtag body goals, looks in the mirror sometimes and feels as heartbroken as any of us have ever felt at our own reflections. And so I asked women in the group, what do they do to win that fight some of the days? What are the things that make them feel truly comfortable, celebrated and sexy in their own skin as is if I'm feeding my relationships and I'm feeding, you know, I'm super passionate about my career. If I'm like feeding myself in that way or like spiritually, I don't think it matters as much. Yeah, what? Then then when you look in the mirror, you just see like that you're happy doing things that you enjoy beyond, yeah, the physical. So you're not thinking about your body. You know, there's so many things I'd like to enjoy that being insecure about your body then becomes such a small problem in like the scale of things. What makes me feel the most comfortable in my skin is some really good cocoa butter. Like, you know, but what makes me feel comfortable in my own skin is is the combination between comfort and sexy. Like if I can wear something that's comfortable, and I can still feel sexy as a like I feel like a woman kind of like what I'm wearing right now, like it's not overly sexy. I feel like this is lingerie, but I do feel sexy and I'm hella comfortable. So for me, what makes me feel most comfortable in my skin is just like being moisturized and being comfortable and free. And so these, this underwear set is a reflection of who I am, you know, it's, it's pretty, it's soft and it's strong and it's durable. Once again, shout out to me undies for fitting everyone with their outfits for that day. I actually think everyone got two sets. So double thank you to you. Me undies goes from size extra small to four XL. So everyone got to pick a set and a size that really did feel comfortable for them. But that being said, let's not deny the fact that sitting on camera in underwear amongst a bunch of strangers is probably not that comfortable. So with that in mind, I was like, be honest, how are you feeling right now wearing what you're wearing? So when I first came in and saw this set, I was like, yes, I wasted because I'm always like the whole like Fupa thing is like, I owe my super. And I think part of it is, oh yeah, part of me like getting good with my body was realizing that I fluctuate within a month, within a week, within a day, what my body looks like, depending how much water I have or depending like what time of the month it is. So it'll be sometimes a month where like, I feel huge, I feel massive. And then I'll look at my schedule and be like, oh, I'm doing like two days. You know, and then I'm like, okay, that's not bad. And it's temporary. And I know that my body goes through these things and I'm a woman. And so yeah, no, the me undies is like super comfortable, similar to quite a few you guys. I don't like wearing underwear. A lot of the time, like I don't own a lot of like bra bras. I live in sports bras, or I don't wear any. But yeah, that's why I like them. They feel like, yeah, that naked feel. The me undies actually feel like I'm wearing pajamas. Like I feel like I'm naked right now, which I love. This is definitely something I could just put on when I'm home, relax, just get comfortable and hang out. Because I don't feel like I'm wearing anything really. I've never worn anything like this actually. I don't know, y'all relate to that. But I'm not really an underwear wearer, but this feels like nothing I've ever put on before. It feels like pajamas. I agree. I feel kind of naked right now, in a good way. Yeah, it feels good. It's like really comfortable. It's comfy. I feel so like great. I'm like, all right, all right. Tummy off tucked. Let's go. It like, that's literally how it makes me feel. It's just so comfortable. It doesn't make me feel constrained. The best feeling in the world is like after working a long day, just like unbuckling my bra and just throwing it just into the air like a party favor. That is the best. And this is one of those things that if I just want to chill, it's warm out. Like, I can put this on and feel comfortable and not feel like I'm like, dying a little bit inside. I think we have enough things in the world or ways that we feel different or reminders that we're not fitting in. And so I think when it's like, no matter if you're an extra small or you're a four XL, if you can shop at the same place and you don't have to have some reminder of like, no, I got to go to the large store. Like I have to, you know, wherever it's just so much better and healthier. And finally, the question that I love to end all of my panels with, what advice would you give to your younger self about accepting and loving your body bones and bruises and bellies and bumps and boobs and babies and all, I would tell them to choose to love themselves, like going back to the choice conversation. Because for me, it's always a duality. Like, I could, I could listen to the negative self talk or not. And, you know, if I choose not to, that doesn't necessarily mean that it's not there or goes away. But me choosing something else gives me more power to step forward. And I think that goes with any area of your life, whether it's your career or your underwear. It's like, choose what empowers you. Yeah, don't spend the time on the negative self talk. Like, that's your most finite resource. And I would tell my younger self to just spend that, spend, if you spend even a small percentage of that time telling yourself how much you love yourself and looking for the positive things, I think you're going to feel so much happier. Happiness and healthiness looks different on everyone. And not to play into societal or cultural expectations. I think the whole comparison of the beef of joy thing is so true. And it's because there's a certain level of expectation, even like post pregnancy, like you're expected to want to snap back to your original. And it's like, well, we're going to use different now, there's going to be so many people in your life telling you different things. They're all uncontrollable. You can only control your own thoughts. Like the most hurtful thing that I think I've ever heard is my 11 year old niece. And she's, you know, a little thicker thing. And she'll be like, I don't like my stomach or I don't like this or she's high and high. And I'm like, baby girl, you're 11. Like, this is not going to be your whole life. And even if it is like love the body that you're in, you can't let anybody else dictate how you feel about your body. When she says things, I like, I say something immediately, like, no, that's not true. Like, let's just sit with our shirts off. Let's just, I got it too, baby girl. Thank you so much to Linda, to Brooke, to DeSean, to Courtney, to Tiana for coming through and shutting it down and sharing your stories and being such an inspiration. If you feel how I feel, you're going to be excited about this next bit of information in the info box. I have links to their socials. Also in the info box, you can find out more about me and these feel free campaign. And that's also where you can find the link to get your first pair for 15% off plus free shipping, plus satisfaction, guaranteeing that link again is me and these.com slash Shan booty. And after you finish that, go down a little bit further because that's where you go up on the comment section. And that's where I'm going to be reading and absorbing all of your truths. Tell us what it's like to literally be in your skin and share where you currently are on your journey to loving and accepting your body as is.