 let's put it in the folder sound okay I think if you're adding sound you're gonna have to add sound right there just all that there's no sound happening and then these steps seem to be the off-screen steps but then I don't know they keep going at the same I'm being picky about the sound here but out of some reason because it was step beginning I thought those so he's gonna put the legs up and down and hit the couch to sort of the sounds but you need to let me know if those sounds are added or if that's part of the overall audio as one piece all merged together because you could do something where you could have I'm throwing things out there if we're going to the critique imagine the whoever came home I mean it could be could be really big feet coming in here the legs and then stopping here and that's why he looks there you imagine these are just massive foreground elements that are totally dark almost blurred and then with the sound you got the steps comes in stops and continues imagine you know two big stumps of legs here I don't even the shoes could be what you have to do foot roll and everything but I'm curious if it could just be a two legs coming in stopping turning he looks and then continues now that being said I like the idea I'm just wondering if you can do more with this maybe one of those critiques where I feel like that's cool cool beginning if I turn the sound off with all of this that's definitely good kids definitely lean in they rotate the controls around the linear with the body I think that's pretty cool all that makes sense the only thing I would say doing all of this till here you can you can see how he's pretty much in the same position yes there are some changes but it could be something where he might start here playing you know laying and then he leans forward because he's really into it and brings his legs up just get a bit more contrast and it's almost like when this happens like he just got into a really good spot it's kind of playing and he got you know maybe the boss level is about to get done and then this happens now the weird thing is okay yeah so you have that but you throw the controller which is very thin here over we barely see then it just goes away so I would make sure that it's rotating the other side as well so you have a full glimpse of what's going on and that would also make it thicker just cheat and make it a big Xbox control can make it black something really understand what's what is he throwing and then after that when he grabs a remote again we can barely see it and then it's so thin we can't really see it here and then with that silhouette you know if you just take the set out hit seven without lights I mean it's basically you know what I'm doing here right you have that as yours as yours you know my crappy silhouette but that's basically what we're seeing imagine it would be in a different hand and now you have that as a silhouette you know he might argue well he's a lefty maybe switches it over might not be you know the most time saving thing but then he could just be really rotating over because he's already thinking about going somewhere else and that's why he rotates the whole arm over so that shoulder here arm that and we can see maybe it's almost like the back of his head almost because he's doing a couple things at once you mean like he doesn't have to look and click he knows that this button is going to turn it off so imagine he actually already wants to go there this is just an in-between where I gotta do this but I'm already turning to jump or do something else I think that could be something this in terms of the mechanics with something like that it would have a bit of a pump pump would be cute to have like a second plop and almost slides towards the book so it doesn't feel so and then that's it those impact in the legs something a bit more interesting in that and then he reads looks at where we came in and it continues so basically I'm narrating what's going on so my thing is I like it I like the idea but it seems a bit it's almost a bit simple I mean you could just push the personality a bit more so like I said at the beginning what if you really get into playing then he gets interrupted and what if that I don't know if I mean you have you have control over the length of the shot so what if he has that and he has a quick louver like he's mad like ah I was I was doing so well or like oh man something like okay he gets interrupted he's playing games how does that affect him you mean is he gonna be mad happy whatever it is right then I'm gonna throw this away while grabbing their remote and getting over there as much as I like the scramble and the jump is there anything in there and this is the typical you know royal we used to anything we could do to make this a bit more interesting and a bit more personality driven is this something where he's done this before because he seems to be like a kid you know probably done that before is there something where he could you know is that control controller somewhere so it's not just throwing it but he throws it because he knows it's going to bounce and then lands on the charging dock or something and then maybe he doesn't just go over there he's a bit of a sly fox you know how he has like hey hey guys what's going on what if it's not just a jump again I'm totally changing I'm not saying you should do that but what if he grabs this and he doesn't do this this here but he grabs the remote and then basically was just such a massive head he puts his head down here and does almost a roll like this cartwheel and with that roll you free up the silhouette for the remote he then he trucks the remote and lands here maybe and then as he's done rolling he could be again I'm totally changing it he would roll and then that book would roll on top of him and he would be sitting elbow here you know legs crossed hey I'm I'm just I'm just learning I know this is more kits like them what I just drew like legs crossed but basically my point is is there anything we can do to make this potentially a bit more interesting subjectively you might think no this is awesome I don't want to change it if you don't want to change anything my main comment would be that it's just very long this is 14 seconds so you have playing playing still playing and in this this is five seconds in I think we could easily all right all right okay like something two seconds later the doorbell rings two to three seconds I think we can shorten this by half almost right then he goes oh I gotta get over there quickly okay hey guys see that goes way too long for me as well I would take a second or two out of that and then he goes back and then when he goes back is again and cut so it's almost like you want to cut here he looks over hey guys yeah what's up and that's the cut or he does this and since he goes back we have to assume that nothing's going to happen to him the parents the babysit whoever is going to keep walking or both parents whatever the partners whoever is in there watching him and what if he after this the eyes go even more showcasing that because imagine we don't have audio showcasing that they'll keep walking and he he quote unquote won and then he has a bit of a either made it in time or haha evil smile I mean like after he tricked him how does he feel about is he a turd is he evil about it is he just oh man I just maybe shouldn't do that next time like whatever I feel like you want to have a bit more in terms of a personality reads on him and I think I'm gonna leave it at that so throwing out a couple ideas I know it's very destructive because of changing stuff but I would love for this to be slightly more potentially interesting than this even if you do this and it's a jump and then because of that that maybe he has to do math or something and there's a pencil and the pencil goes he goes I will almost get caught because of that super pencil and then he grabs it and because of that he has to change your pose again and then he's in a specific pose how he just caught but he goes maybe draw something in the air leaks the tip of the pencil it goes back to writing you know me like something where it's not just oh they're here I'm jumping I'm safe like there's one more thing where we might think that oh he's still going to get caught oh he did not get caught something like that if that makes sense anyway I'll leave it at that throwing out some ideas you can let me know how you want to proceed all right thanks all right there's an email you can sign up you can start whenever you want you can submit whatever you want you get 16 submissions either way a like and subscribe would be awesome all right thank you