 Jesus says the one right use of judgment is how do you feel so if you start to get prompted to call certain people or visit some people and after the phone call or after the visit or whatever your relationships that we start off with so to speak and formulate during our life are there's guilt in them. There's guilt even though they're good times they have their bad times and they're guilty. So now the Holy Spirit is saying okay the way out of this is it's like a fresh start it's like actually going inside and thinking about all these people you can think about that one in particular and these other people and literally any moment in the Holy Spirit and saying you know what's best for them I'm not going to keep taking the responsibility for their happiness and their welfare on myself I give them over to you and also you want to inspire me to have guilt-free relationships and those are the symbols that come to you when you're open and serving the Holy Spirit you get witnesses of that love and that openness. I mean it's gone for me from being a very shy child, shy all the way through grade school, junior high, high school, shy all the way through university. Most of the 10 years of university I was very shy and then suddenly you know I finished those 10 years of university and of course the miracles comes into my life and I start going to after two or three years of reading it just on my own and listening to the Jesus and the Holy Spirit I started going to groups, I started opening my heart up and I started being, he goes frightened like whoa this is really threatening. After all those years of quiet and shy and isolated suddenly it was like the floodgates were opening up and I hurried and then as I just went with it over the years that was probably, I started traveling about 1991 so it's about 17 years now. Oh yeah, I just let the Holy Spirit bring me floods of witnesses of love and joining and laughter and happiness in 21 different countries so the floodgates more than opened up the flood came in and it kind of cleared away these things and the things that most people go through, I mean people will talk to me and they'll say well I've got to go to my 25th high school reunion or things like church classmates, churchmates, childhood friends and all those kind of things that most people deal with that involves certain amount of feelings those are gone from my life. I mean my friends, they're all like vibrational friendships that's how I know them is through this vibration. We were literally brought together by the Holy Spirit and those relationships are this flourishing and multiplying, like flowers in the garden, they're just blooming and blooming and blooming there's more seeds and there's more and more and more and somebody said, could say to me when was the last time that you saw or talked to like a classmate of yours that you went to school with? I'm like, what? I can't even I don't even have a space in my memory for that, it's probably decades actually what about your church that you grew up in, what about those people there? I was back there once but the Holy Spirit came ripping through and it was a very mystical experience but we had a lot of people that I had known were gone and there's not a lot of continuity in those kind of ways even in spirituality if somebody took a time-lapse photography of this peace house that I founded back in 1996 you would see all these different characters coming and going and including this body because I was off on travels you would just see a time-lapse photography like a collage of all these different people it wouldn't be like one person or two or three that were there the faces have changed some months even in my work with The Horse of Miracles the faces have changed in fact since about 1998 the only things that have been stable at the house have been my two cats I had these little cats and one of them even left when the person I were on seven months of travel the one cat angel left and her sister tripod the three-legged cat she looks like she's from another planet she's looking at these eyes and it's like where did you come from? I always tell her it's good that Spielberg never discovered you because who made one of his movies would be another he tea if I knew when I saw that face she's she's kind of a quiet little mystical three-legged cat she's she's happy to purr he's not into showbiz she's not and then another cat showed up when we were just taking up on that trip named Sam and he was about ready to be put to sleep by the owners who were moving out of the front house so he came out and rubbed him on the legs like need a home quick we're talking today and we were leaving for seven month trips so we said okay and there was a guy there I was going to record two CDs at the house while we were gone and Sam's been pretty much a fixture ever since then he's he's lives at the moment and he comes out from outside comes in and looks at you like he's never seen you before like who are you putting you in your own house and he'll like walk from the tile up to the carpet and he'll just like the carpet like the living in carpet as if he's never seen the carpet before or if he sometimes wants to jump up something he just stays when we keep looking down at him as if he's wondering if it's solid or not like really dramatic he's so in the present moment sometimes that he just gets this look on his face like he's completely blanked out all the time in his face and he's just totally in the present moment so it's like even the cats start to reflect our purpose our state of mind and they've been more fixtures than anything else even the faces have come and gone so so you get more into the purpose and you put less faith into appearances you know it's like you're ready you're open the door whoever's the door you're going to agree on the joy the phone rings and you speak the happiness and joy whether you seem to have the history or not it doesn't really matter you know it's like you're in the purpose with the Holy Spirit Jesus there so it's very welcoming very loving and uh and also when you're with people it feels like you've known them forever like you just you know know each other forever even if you just met you know for two or three minutes you know always this strong feeling of recognition like I know you oh yeah I remember you and it's very strong just becomes stronger and stronger and you learn to let go of the other stuff I mean I always had had the philosophy that everything is either a miracle or a miracle waiting to happen so there's no room for grievances or lost souls or whatever I mean if it's not gone on my path where joy I just have a joy surrounding me all the time and it's like that Charlie Brown character pink pen you know when pink pen is always dirty and there's always a big dirt falling I'm kind of in a cloud of joy so there's a cloud of joy around me and and anyone or anything that seems to be not a part of that joy they really can't even get very close to me it's almost like they can't penetrate joy there was there was some guy one time who was who was a very kind of a threatening menacing kind of character in the world's terms leading mess voice messages and saying kind of like when you get down here in Florida I'm gonna I'll meet you out in the parking lot like he's going to beat me up in the parking lot or something like this and people around me will go what are you afraid afraid what do you mean we got down to the Harmony Church we were in the parking lot where he was making all this threats that he was gonna do harm and everything and I had people with trail for states to come and see me and we just had the biggest comfort in the parking lot at Harmony Church and then we had a glorious gathering and I said yeah that's the way it's kind of like this joy that they said he was revving his motorcycle out in the parking lot after we were talking yeah I kind of remember something that I can't it's like it doesn't even reach my awareness anymore because you get into the state of joy and then you see a joyful world and you don't have heckler she certainly don't have any enemies uh like Jesus teaches you know if you if you believe you have an enemy you have a great need of prayer you have to pluck the enemy out of your own mind it's not like they're really external enemies but they're their enemies in consciousness when we have grievances that we hold on to those are the enemies we just have to pluck them out and hand it over to the Holy Spirit so I find that uh yeah a lot of people that I seem to have interacted with through the early years of the parable of David have disappeared it's almost like they disappeared and they were never there uh and I certainly don't feel any guilt I've got such a full life of joy that I'm not even thinking it and when people would even say to me oh have you have you seen so-and-so whatever happened to so-and-so you know those kind of questions are they and where is so-and-so they come up to you they ever talked or spoken to the person maybe for three decades and they come up and they say where is so-and-so they're in my mind how are they doing they're doing great because you start to realize that your mind is everything and that everything and every one is in your mind and of course if you're doing great that means they're doing great and you can answer with confidence even if you have to spoke to them for three decades you know that they're doing great are they still alive I guess so I'm alive in the spirit you know all those things that seem important in the world where they're living how their life is going are they living can they pass on you know just those things all disappear and there's no guilt it's very free it's a nice perspective except David I'd say if it's a parent they're not going to disappear from your life even though maybe um having opposite feelings that spirituality and I know if I spoke to my mother like you did with your mother even though I was trying to say respectfully I know she just think I was cookie and I would I would feel horrible but they basically I mentioned though they they turned around and they just started reflecting my joy and then my father that seemed to piss on and my mother still you know we just have been together for lunch and there's not so much frequency of contact just because this body is being used by the spirit and just for different continents and and yet it's like we don't miss a beat you know there's a little joy there but it can't seem that way I mean I've had a friend of mine was he was a girl was in prison had a child in prison and was hooked up with this man who's into drugs the drug dealer and I remember when she got out of prison I think her and her partner had robbed a bank or something and she got out of prison she just was could feel being involved with drugs and just could feel her life kind of being sucked back down into a very dark place and she she did pray she just got down to the knees and she said please god I know I've gone off something's going I get to feel it's going way wrong again in my life and she prayed for god to lift her up and help her out and then this man they found me hanging in the attic I think the next day she's not in the chair where there was some connection with mafia or you know you were making a prayer for for your life to turn people sometimes I pray for help from god and my partner hangs themselves and I'm not supposed to go really I said heavens no they're just symbols they're just images what would you want this is an attack top you want to come up there or or and take it out of your life or not you know you gotta play thinking of people as people these are all just symbols and it's the same with parents you know I had a woman down in Florida and she had this white curly hair and she was like she would tell me the story where she said I was flowing along in my life and everything was perfect in my life everything was perfect and really my coursework and I meant I said to god holy spirit you know I have everything that I could ever want I'm so grateful for everything for this mind training the only thing I want that I don't have is I would want I want a deeper feeling with my husband I want to feel him close to this like we share everything I want to give him deep love and connection the same thing it's not perfect so if there's any specialness in my relationship with my husband please take this from me this is the only thing I want and so about a month went by after she made her prayer she said I want a holy relationship with my husband that's my only prayer month went by and her husband was diagnosed with a tumor and the tumor began growing a month earlier when she had made the requests for a holy relationship I always tell this story because this gets rid of the appearance things and thinking you know what a holy relationship is or how it has to look so so as soon as she prayed for a holy relationship the tumors started growing uh her husband and it progressed and progressed and progressed and his health went down down and she had all this she'd been a nurse she'd done all this rest with care training and she said honestly I took care of him I bathed him we had we started talking as his illness seemed to progress we had more heart to heart talks that went from all this surface talking about the weather and this and that to really having these deep heart to heart talks deep communication I was saying yeah this coming it was not in the form that you imagine but but this deep connection she felt closer and closer and closer and she worked with this man loved him and cared for him and bathed him all the way again a year to the day after she had yes for a holy relationship with her husband and so I said wow that was a great lesson and then she said and then my husband died and I said I can't stay in this house I have to move and so she she looked around and she said I had no place to go so she said I moved in with my mother so she said I moved in with my mother about a few weeks later and I went there and she had this vicious dog baby ferocious dog prowling screaming might be able to assist this vicious dog I mean and so I said well what did you do I said holy spirit I need a holy I pray for a holy relationship with this dog I always tell this I tell this bear all over the world and the people go she killed the dog too but she prays for a holy relationship with the dog and the next day she went back and the dog was this passive and kind and gentle what did you do with my dog this is what I mean you know you know before it's the content and and people are really just thoughts and so it's like all this guilt comes from thinking of people as people somehow you have to maintain these associations and we've all know you had experiences when sometimes somebody's passed on and we felt closer to them after they passed and when they were buried in flesh and it's all a state of mind it's just we have to loosen ourselves from thinking about people as people because there's always going to be guilt when we are associating them with bodies you know could I have done more could I communicated more could I have better better friend a better partner a better lover could I would have should have guilt guilt guilt you know things could have been better I could have done more in everyone who walks this world with an ego self concept they they Jesus says they count the good and they count the bad and they hope that there's more good to offset the bad everybody is walking the service kind of keep a score in their mind am I going to make it back to heaven I've done all the bad if I've done enough good if I give them enough to cherry then kind enough with animals and the people you know as it's like somehow God's going to judge you in the end but God isn't a judge God is this beautiful being that knows you perfectly as you were created and the Holy Spirit is just the bridge that's working in your mind to clear away all this guilt and it helps to be able to talk openly about these things because it just gives your mind a different perspective on relationships you start to say when people lead your life that we're very negative you don't have to say oh my god I let them down or I could have done more of those styles are disappearing for a reason and when you meet people that are happy and joyful in your life they're reflecting your own desires wake up of course they're there you know they're symbols and witnesses you should feel good when you have loving people starting to surround you in your life but it's it's all you know very basic and practical it's all very mental it's all mine the scope of medical impulses and violence and of course kind of like a lot of these others sort of report to mind that there are just a lot of safe days in this area of this system yeah the distorted medical impulses I use the the metaphor of like like a prism where you have this beam of light coming down to the prism and then when the light moves to the prism it it splinters the light into a rainbow of colors and that's pretty much the way it works with distorted medical impulses that if you have an ego belief system and the light is coming coming up and the light gets filtered through the ego belief system it comes out the light on the surface of consciousness as cravings and wants and desires so when you want a piece of chocolate and you crave a piece of chocolate maybe with almonds or peanuts or something or caramel or whatever you're thinking of it that's a distorted medical impulse that's really god calling that craving for that chocolate it's god calling the craving for for sex or for warmth for different kinds of stimulations for entertainment you know there are many things in this world that seem to be very important in the mind can become somewhat addicted to them or they can turn into cravings but really it's just underneath it is the light calling the mind back so there's a miracle impulse a very strong miracle impulse to return to the grace of god but once it comes through this ego lens it will call it like a prism which is a very fragmented lens it fragments the call or fragments the light into all these cravings because the lens is the belief in scarcity the lens is the belief in lack so when you take this powerful impulse and you run it through the filter of lack it comes out on the surface of human consciousness as as a craving or want and it seems like it's very individualized like one person can crave one thing the other person can crave another but really all the cravings are the same because they're all ego cravings all it does is it's the belief is that there's a craving and if you do something in the world with the temporal you will satisfy the craving so when people are hungry or thirsty or horny or hot or cold you can actually seem to do things in this world it will satisfy the craving or lack for a short period of time and then it comes back again and again and some of you remember that terrible in the bible where the woman at the well wanders up and comes up to jesus and out of this word comes out as metal comes the holy spirit drink of me and you will never thirst again you hear that that's the miracle impulse drink of me and you will never thirst again and and so if you think of that's what this bright light is it's coming like a beam of light in your mind just drink of me and you will never thirst again and then it comes to the ego that is a lack and make him i want i want a coffee i need a tea it's a hot day i want a tall pool of less of water on the surface of consciousness for human beings that's how it's coming out so again we're back to the same thing inviting the holy spirit to help you clear away the lens of lack and what happens when you clear away the lens of lack you get a prompt we'll call the miracle impulse call so and so and and so you call them and have this delightful conversation your hearts open they're telling you thank you i'm so glad you called the day you made my day you're an answer to prayer so on and so forth when you answer those miracle impulses in a very direct way that's what we call being a miracle worker and when the ego lens is covering over those miracle impulses then it seems to come out in the sense that you can do something with the body or do something with magic or something of the world that will just temporarily satisfy you and then that's the human condition and you get right back into that's why people work so much to make a Jesus as meaningless things so they can get meaningless money and spend it on more meaningless things is because it's like craving satisfaction craving satisfaction it's like the whole world's just built to to solve those cravings in a temporary way without ever getting to the roots of where the craving came from in the first place so it all makes sense when she starts to have a comment what i recommend is that the text is is highly highly metaphysical and there's no parables in it uh no whereas parables you know how Jesus would teach two thousand years ago he spoke in public mostly in parables he wasn't speaking metaphysics back because he was over the head of all people so he would tell parables and he would just say things like for those that had the ears to hear let them hear and people would hear parables on different like they were so well designed that they could get different things out of them depending on whether there's a lot of consciousness and awareness so like for some people i said if you have a lot of difficulty with the course it may be a book like the last section of the rancher book uh the rancher book is the last section is the life and teachings of Jesus it's a much fuller picture of Jesus's life and great detail of his entire life unlike the bible where he said like oh we got a virgin birth and then boomies 12 he's in the temple uh saying to his parents you know joshina i have to be about my father's business and then kind of skips over all the teen years and the 20 years and boomies he's 37 years old and he's walking around calling apostles and then you go through three years with different versions of the gospels highlight different aspects of those three years and then you've got a crucifixion and resurrection very spotty the gospel is very spotty but they feel like there's really something to be learned from jesus so for me something like the rancher book is something that i would recommend uh i remember when i read through the last section of the rancher book it was it was like if i could have prayed for one full picture of human life it would have been for jesus you know give me a full full biography on on jesus's life all the little details you know to fill in how do you live this love how do you live divine love in a practical way with human beings all those high ideas abstract love universal love show me the practical things so i actually just had all these tears of joy just pouring through me when i was reading through that last section because it was extremely practical you know it was times like i was right there with jesus and it wasn't so much like the movies of jesus because a lot of the movies throughout the history and predicted you know all the like even the passion of the christ mill hipster's movie there's all this pain and suffering and sacrifice and everything even from jesus for the last temptation of christ you know it's kind of got a huge struggle even on the cross he's thinking of very raglan and imagining her and hitting kids with her it doesn't but it painted a very divine picture of jesus it's a more like he's just struggling to try to make it through and things in the bible saying in the garden of the semi the sweating blood wow i mean to listen to the holy spirit for three years and and i the father of one and you're gonna go sweat blood it sounds terrible why would you i think you want to follow the script you got a sweat blood to me those are the kind of things that i would just go come on let me have something a little more realistic well the last section of the dementia book is a realistic fact you've touched and you've been rajas one of those that are starting to start reading it and so if you're editing like with the course it's still not clicking i would suggest something like that for me i had many steps before the course they were in gospel of jesus christ was one of them was helpful a lot of different books kind of helping me open towards it and then by the time i got to the course you know my mind was really so open and ready that it was a very joyful experience that i could read it for you know about eight hours a day so it's still i can get resistance for the highlands would get like led weights even for me know at that point like no more then i'll just be gentle and it's again about being intuitive but i've heard many stories around the world in different countries where people the course went into their life and then they know that it's for them but maybe not just right now so they use it as a they put plants on top of it or they use it as a doorstop or you would be surprised at all the things some actually they're more like warriors you know warriors for christ they get in there and they work with it and the resistance is so strong that for one of them tore each page out individually uh through it in the toilet or throw it in the river you can hear all these stories because you have to really be ready for this book if you're not ready don't fight yourself you know there's just not the spirit guide you to something where you have a sense of resonance and you have a sense of your heart opening and in a way it may fall off the shelf and knock them ahead of two or three years or something like oh i guess it's time and you read it and then you open up or people who even read it a lot know that they're always saying i can't believe you said that i i can't believe i've read this book that it's it's in there you know because it's you're just ready for that particular idea and there it is it's been waiting all along for your life i found that um journey of young words by frank hassel um companion to the course was very helpful for me there's a terminology of course it's a bit overwhelming when i first started to to read the course but then terminology of um journey of young words was very simplified varies and provide and they always remind me of who i really was which was the son of god and it kept on reminding me and that consistently even when i slipped out of my mind it would remind me of that so then when i went to the course i felt like it was easy to remember you know i was because i'd already been reminded of something like what you said i wasn't ready for the course at that time even though it had been sitting in my shelf for 10 years i used so many tools underneath that that derive on course because it seems ironic and i wanted to get up in that one i don't know why that's been a bad license to me yeah there's there's lots of symbols too uh carry on arms books two books disappear to the universe and there are more of reality many people find you who have had struggles with the course where they start to get empathetic with it or start to feel the resistance was getting too strong they find those books often because there's so many parables of examples were included and still the metaphysics come through so so those can be helpful as well um that was my feeling when i first learned the experience of the universe is uh i've been teaching a lot of the societies that art and persa teach in that book um for years and i kind of laughed and went off it's finally in print because i was not copyrighted but um here was gary got the teachings put it in a copyrighted book and this is going to make my job even easier now you know people read it they get the metaphysics they get some good clear examples and many people have told me they just read through that book and then the course comes alive like it's like it's been hidden behind some veils or it's they've been in some dark chambers and then they pop through those and then they go up it all lights up again so there's lots of ways including our materials i mean i i basically have been doing this for 17 years and when you listen to the cds and the dvds and reading some of the materials there's so many examples and i use so many metaphors and parables that it actually helps uh clarify a lot of things so it's like you're still getting teachings but you're getting them in a context with many metaphors and examples and uh for a lot of people when the person's listening to a lot of the teachings over and over probably hundreds of hours and and jason and different ones who have worked with me uh they just nowadays with mp3 players are so small and portable you can go about so many antitivities and just have the little mp3s going in there and your mind is engaged even if you're gardening or taking a walk or doing one day they're going really deeply into the self-concept and she's kind of stuck couldn't understand and getting through the questions and i was on my walk like i'm going up so i just joined her and they're loud track board come out and put it here and correct me when new stuff on my plan and then get crashed on the floor and it's hot and then finally i got so far on walk and then she just popped through to this realization on the plan and at the same time i just popped through whatever it was that i was going through and then i thought i was looking to the post office and i just got almost here i mean oh i don't need to go to the post office anymore and i just turned around and walked back and it was in the shade that was so cool and quiet as beautiful meditation perfect just to help me just stir up all that stuff while i was listening to this recording and found teaching about the self-concept because the whole thing was about this belief that there's this world outside of you that can just do you and it was just amazing like by the time i got back to the house i was like wow they're like a 19 you you know get into like listening to a whole siege and then i would have a break and you might have a question for them and i would just please play and boom they're asking my question it's very dreadful but it's almost like if the mind is so deep that you need a guide to go down like someone to hold your hand take the lantern with because it's like going down this dark basement and having to go through all these dark crevices and caverns and this and that and that's really what a lot of material is i mean i've done so many gatherings and they've been recorded so people engage in those and it's like going down deeper and deeper and you hear the questions you hear the answers and it takes you way down it was just this past year this man kelly love has been a friend of mine for years the in north carolina united states was where the first horse americles group in the world was held um judy's gush went through gave a little book and they said let's study it other than uh i can't you can't even consider bill bill fedsford and how much up on the first group they were the first two students but they didn't really want to study the book or the notes and jesus had to dictate a lot number of chapters and finding out i want you to study the notes what i studied the notes you want me to actually study them so they really weren't a study group they were like this but they had good people in north carolina and kelly love was part of it so kelly's this was back probably in the 1970s so so kelly's been at this for probably over 30 years and uh i recently got word from him that he said my wife is not a horse american student she's had wanted nothing to do with the course of miracles nothing to do with the book and everything for 30 years he's held with it and he said somebody sent us one of your you might have it over somewhere sent sandpaper dvds and he said she watched that sandpaper dvds and she said what is this book i want to find out more about it this was like after 30 years of marriage you know just it was timing but whatever she saw the joy the laughter whatever was said on there something connected something started to resonate and to me that's a great testimony i said oh that's a wonderful little story that somebody just happened to get over one of those dvds and and feel like okay i want i want to open up to this thing and it's it's all working together for the good it's it's important to do the course of miracles with the root because i found i tried i have it all and it was very deep for me very um systemic or concepts and of course i do that very well but i don't get down into this area so so i've been doing a course in way of the heart which which is many many inroads in fact uh i think um i think there maybe there wasn't there a group i think right here in brisman they started off as a course of miracles study group and then they started receiving a lot of my emails and my teachings and so it kind of went from a course of miracles study group to an awakening mind slash course of miracles study group and then then it kind of turned into a support group where they decided to let's talk about our issues that's made it practical not just about theory and concepts and so it kind of swung into like a very experiential support group for awakening and then they cleared away so much that turned into a meditation group where they could anyone could speak but they basically just wanted to sit inside a communion so that's kind of a progression i thought i always remember that in my group here in brisman that there are many many inroads and so it's what we were just saying you do have to work with what resonates and then you take a step inward and many people talk about this they'll get to start off with necrotolating power now or conversations with god or the way of the harness just many many many many inroads to it and then as you go deeper the mind as you get more and more ready you know you're told about the next step it becomes apparent but there's no universal force in form for everyone the curriculum is highly individualized and so the only reason i put course of miracles and all the stuff that i've done is that was the path that i have to take along with what it is that we have found do you know what it is exactly that is it like the soul that's awake that that's not ready that what is it in us that that suddenly finds this thing what is it that suddenly wakes up well you might say that that when they're when you are finding something valuable in your mind's opening that's that's reflective of since one mind is all minds that's reflective of the state of openness is the mind that's awakening and when we seem to have partners or friends or people in our lives show up this seem to be resistant to that those again you bring it back to everything is mine those are still you can say these are my own doubt thoughts being acted out it's not really them that are not ready but those are just aspects of of saying i'm not ready for the transfer to go sweep across my whole perception so i've got an exception here maybe an exception here an exception there and that's just one's own doubts so in my life in the terrible day that you know i started getting into all the metaphysics going to course groups and traveling and yet i still would come back to the biological parents jack and ebbom and they would still be changing the subject to the weather really quickly or to the latest gossip about the family but you don't understand this is quite funny they at one point i think my mother ebbom she she looked at me and she said i don't need a minister i already have a minister we heard we've heard the comments and at one point ebbom i was just like i had so much joy coming out i could almost like not hold it in she just said you need to find other people share this with me that's the holy spirit and so so you start to realize that those are still the doubt thoughts or the places where that word hasn't completely transferred and it really you can't understand it from a soul perspective an individual soul perspective because they really aren't individual souls it's like the spirit but but when you keep it simple and you just bring it back to me what is this reflecting to me you always keep it in that framework what is this reflecting to me then and you just keep opening then it takes the pressure off of the partner or the friend or whatever and you get into this glorious state where you realize that it's all of you so to speak it's all one and there's no one to convince about anything and there's nobody that needs to gather or not and some of those metaphors that were important to me early on when i was developing was i i just want to be the people who are sincere who really want to go deep you know those are my parameters and i of course would get frustrated when somebody would come and want to talk about this event i think why did you send them to the gathering but it was just again my own doubt thoughts getting acted out and as soon as i let go of that as soon as i really got happy then i was really i could be of service i mean you can't really be a miracle worker and if you have doubts and fears so as soon as i got happy then i went around i had no parameters people could come and go as i want i didn't perceive any interruptions i didn't perceive anybody getting it or not getting it or you know all this kind of things just started to get lifted from my mind and it was just like everybody's became adorable even the ones that were i went through the bible belt and this young man ran and invited me to to his his parents church and invited all his family and friends down in louisiana and so i just showed up and just let's start really proving everything and they got on the topic of jesus and they think they are very strong ideas around jesus and they seem to get louder and louder and their faces start turning red and their veins and tell you to them oh i was just singing about adorable it's just adorable it's how passionate they are for jesus i'm thinking because the next veins are coming out and turning red i had a wonderful time uh the people carry you said she liked transcobbiness and i liked them david goes down in those situations because it's all real fiery and i i'm not talking about fire and brookstone i'm just going to pour through but but i just see it as kind of a unified perception so i didn't perceive the anger or whatever uh just to me it was a very wonderful experience and i just moved on i was born ahead of time that i could be tarred and feathered i would do this consistently the longer deep self that i had no fear of tarred and feathered but that's everybody else that that is not everybody else's business like it's my business guys business and then that and whoever else with business whatever journey that they might take and say the only business of mine could be exactly the same as the leg is the experience of how i view that person that's not per se going down the road that i want them to so that's their business and i have to stay out of that and i think what i can do is choose a theme through the right one and i don't know how that has an experience otherwise and then that way it leaves the whole world kind of freedom to do just um whoever to do whatever they want to do yeah because they say you're about to pass this story when you're when you're tuned in with god anything that's unlike god you do just take a look at the terms of releasing it um you don't you don't really ponder that on it's not even so much the beginning i was thinking why everyone's just doing the best that they can just a nice symbol to i'm just doing the best that i can and then the more that it started to kind of clear away and i started to see this dynamic of projection really was just an attempt to reject something from my own consciousness and see it outside is a trick as if it was they or them doing it once i started to realize i was silly and was then then it was just very attentive i was very attentive to my thoughts you know the ones that were joyful and happy and free and grateful you know those were i would i would align myself with those and the other ones you know it was like that's they don't serve me anymore so it was a sense of like just going where i always just go around invited i had never a sense to go uh to another place to try to heal somebody or open up uh a certain person or group or whatever i never saw uh that way i just saw it as joyfully listening and following guidance for my own awakening and not thinking of it as them the thing is with with the partner is that you you are seeing you are actually one and there's a set of beautiful worlds whatever and they're not but it doesn't work like that in the long run it's just seeing them as perfect and beautiful even though that the stuff that's coming out of them before would have triggered and there would be an anger or something but it's it's just now if if you embrace that loving part they change if you just need the experiences with love it really doesn't change the other person and cannot not be changed because you're not reacting how you were it is very good it seems like they change and then you think oh my gosh it's my perception it's right that's right because people said that about my mother and father so no other people have said that these change too easily so and they're just reflecting it's just like all reflections of yes it is it's very empowering it is empowering because i do think the love and and there is positive vibrations really do encompass everyone yes that's what it means in the attitudes you know um someone on the mount where jesus says you know what's about the meek that they show on her in the earth and if he talks about that then of course the like overtaken with their strength strength and weakness are the same and when you become so unified in a lethality single you're so unified on your purpose it literally transfers to the whole world all perception finally becomes turned around and cleared up and so that's what it means that those who are the meek for they show on her in the earth they're in heredity because they've changed their perception of it and then owned it in one sense in a good sense they said currently things out and say i'm glad i don't like that one or i'm glad i don't like that one some of those old pensions by way of for the grace of god there go i it's like thank you for the grace of god there go i you know it just it slips the whole statement around from you know i'm glad i'm not like them to oh i'm exactly like that actually thank god i'm exactly like that