 All right. Hello everyone. I am Matthew coast and with me is Helena Hart Say hi Helena. Hi everybody and today. We're gonna be talking about the 10 10 irresistible female mindsets that drive men wild and So if this is your first time to our channel make sure that you go and hit the subscribe button To get more videos on how to have the relationship that you've always wanted to have So just a little note real quick. Helena is a little sick today. So she's coughing and stuff You know, please excuse us for natural occurrences In life that happened So so so today. Yeah, we're gonna be talking about female mindsets. So why is this important? So a lot of women come to us because they want to kind of learn these Techniques and tactics they want to learn words to say to a guy to kind of get him to do things They and what it happens a lot of times not not all the time actually Just some of the time it depends it depends on your situation, right? That might be all you need is maybe to say the right things to Kind of create a different feeling in the man through what you're communicating with your words But sometimes it's not enough right sometimes you need a little bit more than that because what will end up happening is a Lot of women come to me and they're like, oh, well, you know I said these things but then I ended up sabotaging it or screwing things up and they kind of pulled away or whatever and One of the reasons is is because they haven't really internalized the The mindsets that make them attractive right so when you speak right when you talk a lot of these Kind of words and phrases and communication tactics and techniques that we're giving you are Things that kind of mimic What somebody would do? Who is a being attractive who or who is in a very attractive space or a place in in themselves? right and that actually comes Like naturally if you have the correct mindset, so if you have the right mindset the way the way that it Things work right is that you have thoughts, right? And those thoughts kind of bring up different types of feelings in your body and those feelings Caused you to act right and those actions are things like what you do what you say You know the ways that you communicate and interact with the man and if you want to naturally just naturally be a lot more attractive and and feel like You know, it's really easy and effortless to Communicate the right things to a man that make him feel like he wants to be closer to you that make him feel like he Wants to stay with you that make him feel like you're valuable You're the type of woman that he really wants to have in your life if you want to do all these things naturally the best way to do it is to adopt attractive mindsets and So that's what we're gonna be talking about today is how to adopt these really attractive Mindsets. Is there anything else you wanted to say about that Helena? Yeah, just that yeah, we could give you the perfect words to say but unless you have these mindsets It's like the setting that foundation, you know, so sometimes when you get these mindsets down Everything else falls into place and make everything that we teach a million times more effective when you're Coming from that's it. Okay, cool. So um, so yeah, so what are these mindsets? Let's just go ahead and jump into them today We're gonna try to make this live stream a little bit shorter than the other live streams that that we did So hey if you're and if you're here right now, I'll make sure you throw in like a hi or a hello there or There's there looks like a few people Rebecca. Hello there Heather. Hey, how you doing? Anita Tomorrow. Hey, how's it going? Thank you so much for being here. We absolutely love you guys And so let's go ahead and jump into these mindsets that we have for you today So the first mindset there's ten of them, right? There's ten mindsets I've got a kind of a cut on my hand. Otherwise I'd do the ten mindset thing that I normally do But I'm gonna be freaking everybody out. They're gonna be like, what's wrong with your hand? So the first mindset is something that is called you can tell me anything, right? So there's kind of this Thing that happens with a lot of Guys right and women and that there's this dynamic that I hear a lot about when when I was in the men's dating space I used to hear about this all the time right guys would feel like They got into this relationship and all of a sudden they feel like they have to kind of like be really careful of what they say and how they act and Who they are around their girlfriend, right or in a marriage a lot of times Guys will say that they feel like and a lot of women get into this situation where they feel like that around men as well But a lot of times what guys will say is that they feel like if they say the wrong thing to her She's gonna like lose her mind and freak out And so he like keeps all he withholds all this information from her so that she doesn't freak out and lose her mind and What that does is it creates this barrier, right? So he won't get closer to you He won't feel like your you know, this is kind of like a best friend thing You know if you want your relationship to be You want to be best friends as well as you know romantic lovers Then you'll want to kind of adopt this mindset of you can tell me anything And I know that this can be a really hard thing to do, right? There's a lot of women who Tell me that they freak out when a guy mentions any woman, you know Even if there's like it's like oh, I work with this woman and she's my boss and she's like who is she you know It's like this who you know this jealous angry type of thing or You know, maybe he'll talk about something that's in You know something that he's attracted to or something that he feels And the woman will take that really personally and then she'll like freak out at him and kind of attack him And then he won't he'll feel like he can't kind of open up and talk to her about a lot of things and that really Prevents you to from developing a deep powerful relationship friendship and you know having that kind of Bond that really holds you two together and so you know the mindset that you're creating here Is that you can tell me anything and in it there's kind of a habit that comes From this that a lot of times maybe you'll need to practice as well, which is kind of just Yeah, you know because it can be hard, you know, it can be hard and and I have issues with it I know a lot of other people do is just you know Allowing somebody to tell you everything without judging them without attacking them without making them wrong, right without shifting and creating some kind of blame or You know telling it like telling them that they're shameful or something like that and But but it can be really really incredibly powerful if you do this with a man Because a lot of times what ends up happening in relationships is that a man will feel kind of Physically or romantically attracted to a woman, but it won't go deeper than that because he hasn't opened up and or he doesn't feel like he can open up to her and really be vulnerable and Share, you know, the most important aspects of who he is with her So Does that make sense Elena? Yeah, I love how you said all of that and it's not I mean a woman can say Oh, you can tell me anything, but it's more of I think like you said a pattern of him being able to open up and feel accepted and Not judged that like over time that makes a man really feel that he can tell his woman anything. It's really important Awesome. So we got some more we got some more people in here Carmen says hi. Hey for animal welfare We see you all the time. Love you guys. Yeah, Holly. How's it going? Thanks for being here. If you're if you're just showing up say hi. We love we love chatting with you guys so Okay, so let's move on to we're doing 10 mindsets here We're on number two and in my opinion in my opinion number 10 is the most important So make sure you stay around for number 10 because it's the most important one So Did you want to talk about the the second one? Yeah, sure Number two is that you're not in a rush that you feel it's like this mindset That you have all the time in the world and this can be really hard I can't see the chat But if this is something that you struggle with type that in if you need specific tools around this This is the hardest one for me out of all 10 of these I have to admit So I have so many tools around this This feeling that you're not trying to jump to the finish line or you don't have to know how everything's gonna all work out like right in this minute so if you can kind of embody this mindset like Not a single thing needs to happen right now, you know I can't tell you how many women I hear from who are like I need him to make a decision about this I need him I need to know how this is all gonna play out right now and it's that urgency That's really like the top problem That's preventing most women that I work with from getting everything they want in their love life This urgent feeling where they need to move something forward or make a decision or figure something out right in this minute so if you can kind of Stop yourself from getting that laser focus on whatever the problem is and zoom out a little bit and just start telling yourself I have all the time in the world and nothing needs to happen Right now and stop beating yourself up over these specific things that you don't have figured out yet That's what Really makes you attractive and irresistible to a man and it makes him feel safe to come close if that makes sense I have more to say about that but that's kind of like the condensed version But if anyone has any questions about that let me know I all kinds of tools on how to do that Yeah, and and you know one thing I wanted to say about that real quickly is that there's kind of this power dynamic that happens in In a relationship with people right and there's there's kind of these different like Experiences that people have depending on how where the power is in the relationship and before you end up Like getting into the relationship before you end up like sleeping together and and being intimate The woman usually has more power In what's going on because the guy's kind of like going for this sex thing right and so the woman's kind of Holding up usually holding off. I mean we're in the age of the hookup culture So a lot of women are just you know sleeping with anybody You know and getting guys are too and everybody's just sleeping with each other And and it's destroying a lot of the women's power and value, right and The the value of waiting a little bit For sex to get to the point of sex is that you you will be in a more powerful position before that happens and you will have a lot of sexual value that The guy hasn't received from you yet When when you're kind of holding off and so when you slow things down It gives you a chance to look at things and feel things out and make sure that you're with a good guy and that you know things are right and You know and it can be a very very strong place for you to come from So that's all I wanted to say on that Yeah, yeah, I love that and when you're in you know able to slow down and get into your feminine energy You'll really like these moments you have with a man really in so many ways become so Full of everything you want that you can naturally become not so sure that you want to jump all the way End to the finish line You know to the end of the journey and get to the destination and we were talking about this right before we started You know when typically women Tell me at least that that's when the man feels the most attracted to them at the beginning stages at least when he's not so Sure that he has her when he's still trying to win her over So that can if you have been in a long-term relationship with a man And he's starting to take you for granted or he's pulling away a little bit Slowing down and not needing answers and not needing something from him in that moment Will draw him back towards you when you just have this mindset of I have all the time in the world Even if you don't feel that way here right now just starting to tell yourself that will shift your mindset a little bit in the right direction Yeah, and I'm gonna bring up actually you you just explained that way better than I did I'm gonna bring up something in a little bit where we're gonna talk about how to kind of incorporate these Mindsets a little bit deeper and more effectively If if there's a mindset in here that you feel like you're kind of missing You might want to jot that down So that we went when we kind of do this exercise in a little bit that you know, which You know, you've got one of these mindsets in mind for which one you're gonna do And so that was number two. We're doing ten mindsets here If you're new to our channel make sure that you go and hit the subscribe button to get more videos on how to have the relationship you want and The other thing is make sure that you comment in the chat because we love you guys and We love your we love your comments So Heather is laughing with cry things coming out emoticon Thanks. I think that that's Audrey says I love you guys so much. Oh, we love you too. Robin says hello Yeah, hello, hello, hello Celine Paula, okay, so let's move on to number three so mindset number three is the mindset of positivity and The reason that the mindset of positivity is such a valuable mindset to have is because it's very nurturing and supportive right if a guy meets you and And that nurturing and supportive is a very feminine Attractive trait to a man, right? So when he meets somebody who's nurturing and supportive, it's it's very very attractive like and There's a lot of ways to be nurturing and supportive that don't have to do with positivity But positivity is a really powerful way to be there Because what will happen when a guy sees that your positive is he will feel Just in your presence. He will feel kind of this nurturing energy, right? He'll feel like there's almost like this like this nest that he's in where he feels just Like he can be supported and who he is like he can be supported and what he's doing in his life Like he can be supported when things are down, right? if you're really negative and you've kind of got this negative mindset and you're kind of attacking things all the time Which sometimes happens to me Yeah, how lane is laughing? Yeah, it like when a guy's around that Like subconsciously he feels like He feels kind of exposed right like he needs to have his barrier up like he needs to be protected at all times and and So the more positive that you can be if you can bring out kind of this positivity Then it'll create kind of this space for him to feel like he can open up more and Be closer to you and it's it's really attractive Did you want to say anything about that? Yeah, can you hear me? I can hear you Okay, I muted myself because I started coughing the night. I just want to make sure I turned it back on, right? Um, yeah, so we as humans can tend to like Focus on that one thing that's not going right in our relationship or focus on that one quality in a man That we don't like that we wish you would change and it can really Make a man feel like he like whatever he does is never enough that he can't easily make you happy And those are you know when it starts to get into that territory. It's kind of like a slippery slope So I would say Focus on the positive aspects in your man too or whatever man who's right in front of you And you'll start to see more and more of those if you've ever heard that phrase like what you focus on grows Or what you resist persists. That's like the other side of it. That is absolutely true and you know if Instead of taking apart that one thing that isn't going well in your relationship or that one aspect of your man that you don't like Focus try it try it for like a week only focus on those aspects of him that you'd like to see in your experience and that will Be it he'll become that person to you more and more. It's pretty amazing how it works So just try that for like a week or two Just focus on things that are going right everything you love about your man and watch how everything will Start to shift in a positive way in your relationship Yeah, good stuff. Good stuff. Um, so Andrea says how do I find out where I stand in our relationship without chasing him away? That's kind of a topic for another time. We're kind of focusing on mindset stuff right now If you have any questions about that, we'd be happy to answer them I do we have a video on figuring out where you stand? If not, we can create one of those So hello La Giroba Okay I apologize So Helena did you want to talk about the next one? Yeah, number four mindset number four is putting your own heart first It's super important It raises your value in a man's eyes because you're raising your value in your own eyes first Which is really the only way and so what we see a lot of women doing is putting their desire to be with one Particular man ahead of their own heart like ahead of their own boundaries or ahead of their own Desire for a real relationship So an example would be if they're really hung up on a man and he doesn't want the same kind of relationship as she does Maybe he just wants something casual. She'll stick around or she'll keep him around Hoping that he'll change his mind when really what she wants is like a full-time serious committed relationship So you want to turn all of that around if you're doing that put your own heart first and put what you want for yourself Ahead of your desire to be with any one particular man It's really really attractive But man gets the sense that he can just walk all over you and treat you however He wants because you're just gonna stick around forever. It You'll start to look desperate and needy. It's like an attraction killer. So that's number four putting your own heart first Yeah, and I just wanted to mention that You know, it's it's kind of like this thing where it's like this willingness to walk away, right? if a guy feels like You know a lot of times we get women that come in here and they're like Oh, well, you know, I didn't find out what a guy wanted or I've he told me what he wanted But I thought that maybe I could convince him that what he really wanted was this other thing Right that he doesn't actually want and so a lot of times women get kind of in this weird kind of pickle of a situation And it's the situation where they feel like they have to try to convince this guy to Get into this relationship that they want There's better ways of figuring that out early on right like there's questions that you can ask a guy Is that Leo? No, it's a gardeners outside So there's questions that you can ask at the beginning like when you first meet a guy about You know what he's looking for right? There's there's kind of this question I think I got this from Matt Boggs actually we're Matt Boggs and I were just talking the other day And and he was telling me about this one where it was like you you say what you ask him What his ideal love life would be right and basically he'll Tell you a bunch of things right and you kind of look for these different ingredients in what he said You know one of him is clarity right so how clear is he about what he wants, right? Another one is certainty right how certain is he like is he like hey, this is what I want or is he like well I don't know and I kind of want you know And there's kind of these different things that you look at when you ask him a question like this that will help you at the beginning Find out what his real intentions are and so if you Find out what those intentions are early on it's easier to be like yeah, this is a good guy for me or not If you're already in the situation I'm like running off on a tangent over here if you're already in the situation The value of being like okay This is the relationship I want and I'm gonna put that Above you know any one guy or any one situation or you know Whatever That's that can be kind of a leverage point for you, right? One of the things we talk about is kind of dating or seeing other guys right and going out and you know meeting other men And if you're in a situation where a guy is not committing to you You know, this is this is the reason this is kind of the the action You know the the going from the mindset to the action This is the action that comes from it is going out and being like I'm not going to close myself off to this one guy I'm going to open myself up to other men Until I find a guy that wants to have the same type of relationship that I want right and then that guy will let you know right because he won't want to lose you and then Yeah, best thing totally best thing you can ever do for yourself Yeah, keep your options open best four words I could ever tell you just keep your keep your options open until you find that guy who comes across with what you want as well In a relationship really important. I'm trying to move on to number five. Yep. Go ahead. Okay Number five number five of ten we're doing ten mindsets here and number ten is the most important one In my opinion And mine do I think so too. Okay, so number five is I trust myself it's so important to trust yourself more than anyone else and Trusting yourself looks like having your boundaries really strong and secure on the inside And that's what allows you to be open and receptive and feminine on the outside And it's kind of the opposite of what we all Feel compelled to do especially if we're really like feeling triggered or really Attracted to a guy or we're starting to get some strong feelings for him Typically we want to put those walls around us on the outside because we don't trust ourselves And we don't feel strong and secure on the inside so you want to turn that around you want to trust yourself So much that you know, you're not going to do things like tolerate bad treatment And you just trust yourself that you'll instinctively feel turned off if a man wasn't treating you well or if he is Interested in other women or isn't where you're not on the same page. So you want to trust your intuition trust yourself and That goes right along with number six. Do you want me just to roll right into that or do you want to say anything about? I just want to say something real quick about this one So, you know the the experience of when when a woman is trusting herself when a guy is there, right? It it creates this openness in her, right? So there's kind of this closed-off thing that a lot of women do when they don't trust themselves And there's this openness thing that a lot of women do when they do trust themselves And you know, you can kind of think of it as like a flower, right? You know flowers are wonderful even when they're closed off But flowers are really wonderful when they're open, you know And when a guy sees you open like a flower, you know And you're in the space of I can trust myself so I can be open, right? It's really a kind of like He kind of gets sucked into it, right? And he feels like it's It's really fascinating and interesting and kind of it's a turn-on, right? He's really He's really attracted to it and a lot of on a lot of different levels from in an emotional level to a physical level So yeah, that's all I wanted to say about that. That's great. And yeah, and it can look like trusting your Feelings trusting your intuition a lot of times these red flags with guys are there right at the beginning But we miss them because we're not listening to our intuition and trusting that especially if we're All wrapped up in the feelings of like chemistry we feel for a man for example so you want to really trust your intuition trust your feelings trust your boundaries and Keep those all on the inside not on the outside like this wall that you build up around you And that kind of goes along with number six, which is that you trust the man like when you're in a relationship You trust the man you're with I kind of always say you don't really ever have to worry about trusting a man As long as you trust yourself because like I mentioned your intuition will tell you You know, you'll be able to catch those red flags right away when you trust yourself But when you trust a man, it's just the best thing in the world being with the man You can trust where you like it when he goes out with his friends and does other things outside of the relationship You don't you have no desire to like check his phone or email and all those things that you know Women tend to want to do when they don't trust the man So you want to be with a man you can trust absolutely and that is a really attractive Quality for a man. What do you have to say about that? One thing I wanted to mention, too is what we're not saying here is that you should blindly trust somebody Is not what we're saying So I just wanted to say that we're not talking about blindly trusting somebody, you know Obviously people need to earn trust right and at the same time for a man when a woman trusts him It's like it's like a man goes into like hero mode, right? He's like this like oh, I can you know, take care of things now. I can You know, I can kind of lead her through this experience that we have together a man kind of Feels like he can be kind of a provider for you all of a sudden because you trust him, right? And and you you're you're giving kind of the reins to him to be To to do a lot of things that normally he wouldn't do if you didn't trust him and since We're kind of in this society right now where There's kind of that a lot of men are kind of being like shamed and Masculinities being shamed and there's a lot of things going on right now in our society where men are kind of being beat up on and they feel like Nobody trusts them right because because they have these masculine kind of feelings that a lot of times they're being told are Bad and wrong and unhealthy and that they should be more like women and all these other things that men are being told right now in our society Which is really kind of destroying a lot of relationships for men not only with themselves, but with women and a lot of men are kind of like I Was just talking to somebody about this the other day where a lot of men are kind of like going their own way You know they're joining like Migtau and stuff and they're and they're saying you know what I'm not even gonna deal with society I don't want to deal with any of this. I don't want to deal with women. I don't want to deal with relationships and a lot of reasons that they're doing that is because They are being told that there's something wrong with them, right? and that they are untrustworthy as human beings and Man, I went off on a tangent there, but Coming back to it. It's like okay when a guy Feels your trust in him when he knows that you really do trust him and you're just like yeah You know and he he steps up to the plate Which a lot of guys haven't really experienced this in any relationship before But when you do that and he feels it and he kind of steps up to the plate because of it It can be a really really powerful thing and you can see a man kind of shift the way that he acts from kind of this meek like Kind of almost feminine type of thing that that a lot of guys are kind of embracing right now to You know kind of stepping into this masculine role this role of being a provider of taking care of things of You know doing all the things that a lot of women want men to do, but they aren't doing anymore And so it can be really really powerful when you trust a man, so That's that and Alright, so let's move on to the next one So Selene asked what's the difference between intuition and gut feeling It's a good question intuition and gut feeling we'll We'll think about that and we'll come back to you on it So let's so what number are we on right now says one two three four so seven seven Are we on? Oh, and I think we're gonna get What no five five and six. I trust myself six as I trust you run seven Seven oh, you're right. Yeah, oh and into just to answer that question my understanding of it Is that they're the same thing intuition and gut feeling you could think about inner interchangeably? Helena says it's the same thing Okay, so So let's move on to number seven so number um if you're just joining us make sure you say hi We we love talking to you do you in the comments and whatnot, so make sure you say hi We like you guys you're awesome And if you're this is your first time to our channel make sure you go and hit the subscribe button If you like what we're talking about and you want to get more videos on how to have a great relationship So number seven we're talking about mindsets when there's ten of them We're on number seven right now, and we're gonna be doing an exercise on number nine So be aware of that. It's a great exercise to kind of incorporate these different Mindsets into what it is that you do if you're like, yeah, those are great mindsets, but how do I incorporate them? We're gonna be talking about them that that specifically in number nine Okay, so the next one is youthfulness, right? That's number seven number seven is youthfulness and So There's kind of this big thing where a lot of women are like oh guys just like younger women, which isn't true Actually, there's I have a friend of mine. Should I call him my friend? I have a friend who is he's like into old women and It's like It's so fun like like really really old women And it's it's kind of weird He like talks about my mom. Sometimes it's really weird But you know, there's like there is a thing where guys like Younger women, right there and there's a thing where women like older men And they but there's also like there's also in between. There's also guys that like older women There's also women that like younger men. There's a lot of different things going on But a lot of women kind of get caught up on this idea that they have to be like super young, right and There is kind of this visual aspect that a guy has where he looks at a woman and He's very physically Aroused by her look, right and this look of youthfulness I was actually just watching a video about this the other day where they talk about like the Characteristics in women that are really physically attractive to men, you know And they're all characteristics of youthful of being young, right? But there's kind of this other element to it as well, right? Which is in my opinion even more much much much more important much much more effective than this whole thing of You know just the looks type of thing, right? And it's kind of this emotional connection to youthfulness And so what this looks like and so what this is is is being young at heart, right? A lot of times Even young women will be that they'll like lose their Youthful energy, right and to a man. It's kind of um, you know, unless you're in Unless you're into that kind of thing for a man. It's kind of gross, you know It's like women acting like they're really old and kind of like Tired and Serious um, it's It's it there's aspects to doing that which are like masculine, right? So youthfulness in many senses of the energetic way of being youthful is very is a very feminine thing, right? Which is why men are so attracted to it and What it looks like is being playful, right? So being playful in your spirit having fun, right enjoying life, right being carefree All of these things are kind of this youthfulness and action and and you know, the opposite of it is being very serious being very Well, well, it's being very serious, you know, it's it's like clamping down. It's being worried about things all the time. It's being concerned. It's like It's like, you know, like kind of what we're talking about before in the trusting yourself, right? When you don't trust yourself, it's like all of these things start coming up where you have to latch on to it because you're trying to protect yourself Because you you can't open yourself up because you don't trust yourself And so when you're in that space of trusting yourself, you can kind of come into this space of being playful and being young and being carefree Which is incredibly attractive to me so Did you want to say anything about that? It's not an age thing either. It's more of a mindset to One of my favorite clients like popped into my head as you were saying I think she was 71 at the time like All hung up on this one guy who wasn't doing the job. She's lived in a small town Didn't think she could meet anybody She thought it was all over for her because of her age and I got her online dating She started having so much fun with it started going out with a different guy like every night of the week Ended up meeting somebody great. So it's it's this mindset of like having fun with it having fun with all of this That's really attractive Cool. Yeah Should we move on to number eight? Yes The mindset that you can handle your emotions. I Can handle my emotions. I guess is how I should say it You know when a man gets the sense that you can handle your strong emotions Even like those unpleasant emotions that we don't necessarily want to show to other people That's how he knows that you can handle his emotions So you could tell a guy all day long like oh, I can handle, you know, I can handle your feelings a lot of men are Afraid to show their feelings and open up and be vulnerable and confide in others because they've been taught that that's not Manly or not. It's not safe to do that. So The way to get a man to open up is by you going first a lot of times and opening up first showing him that you can handle your Feelings and again, that's how he knows that you can accept him and his feelings and that you're not going to judge him That's kind of the overview. It's there's a lot that goes into it, but that's kind of like the basics Do you have anything to add there? um Yeah, I mean it's You know, you know, I don't You know, I think you said that very well Yeah, I mean we have a lot of videos on how to do this how to open up emotionally to a man how to connect with his heart I mean, there's a little specific ways to do it But basically because then people are probably gonna ask how how to do that, right? I can't see the chat I can't I can't see what people are asking or anything Elena really always wants to look at the chat. I know I know how to do it is is Expressing your feelings expressing your emotions in a way that doesn't make a man wrong or hold him responsible Or where you have this expectation attached to it? Like I'm feeling disappointed and the subtext is so I need you to change this or I need you to do something To solve this for me. So the opposite of that just simply saying I'm feeling sad today I'm feeling anxious and not Needing something from him not having that expectation attached to it and not resorting to ways that may have worked earlier in life When we were just trying to feel heard and understood and loved like acting out of our strong emotions You want to be able to feel those things like feel the full force of your feelings without acting out of them In a way that's gonna do damage to the relationship. That's basically how you do it All right Yeah, I mean there's there's a lot of things that can be said about kind of emotions and like what's going on with men and women men tend to Not be able to handle emotions as well And so your ability to handle emotion can be really really powerful and creating kind of a safe and like You know, we kind of talk about this safe environment, right? And it kind of brings up this idea of safe space and then people are like well We shouldn't create a safe space because that just you know makes men into big wusses and they you know, like Like if you've kind of got that idea where? Creating a safe environment for a man to be in is making him into a wuss like you need to get that out of your head because um if a guy is going to be a wuss from Safe environments that happened a long time before you ever met him That's not going on right now if if you if You create a safe, but if you do create kind of this safe environment for his emotions then it Allows him to like one of the things we talked about before allows him to open up, right? This is all about allowing him to open up and connect to you and have that desire to connect to you a lot Of times women will do this thing Especially there's kind of this thing in the men's Space where they call it like a guy chick right like there's these guy chicks out there Who are like big into drinking beer and you know hanging out with all the guys and they're you know Very sarcastic and they'll like buster balls for anything right and A lot of times they end up coming to us because you know if you're one of them what what happens a lot of times is These women will come to us because they get into these relationships with guys Where they're just like a friend with benefits because the guy Looks at her and he doesn't feel like he can open up to her He doesn't feel like he can have a deep emotional connection to her because every time he does open up in any way She kind of like makes fun of them about it You know and busses balls about it, you know and he's all like you know She's like sarcastic and whatever and and he's like I I don't you know Like I don't feel like there's any like real deep emotional connection The only thing that we have really here is physical and so if you don't want that to happen Then you kind of need to create a space where you can allow him to open up to you So that's that that's number eight is that number eight that's number eight so there's Some people in the chat. Let's see JJ says what if you're eight months in and he breaks that trust Do men JJ also says do men work this hard trying to perfect a relationship with women I feel like women are supposed to you know, you know, it's funny Met, you know, I was in the men's dating space for a while, right? I was teaching in the men's dating space for a long time and I get this question a lot And I'll just answer it really quickly right here But the answer is that men and this is one of the reasons why when we were talking earlier And we said that slowing things down, right? especially in the initial phases is really important because there is Millions and millions men in America spend millions and millions of dollars a year on Figuring out how to be attractive to women in the initial stages, right? Because that's the hard part for men, right? Like we said like I was saying before women tend to have the power in the beginning, right? And once the relationship once you get into a sexual relationship the the power Either evens out or something something happens to the power where you end up losing some of the power in the relationship, right? You lose a little bit of this sexual value because you've given some of it to the man and What ends up happening is that Yeah, so men spend a lot of time Trying to get into the relationship with women, right? That's their their challenge because they there's all these things that men have to do Before they meet you and when they meet you up to being in a relationship that most women don't appreciate Because they don't understand how difficult it is for most men to do this, right? Especially if you're like an introverted man or a nerdy guy, right? You have to learn all these things about Communication you have to go out and approach hundreds of women, right? You have to go and like do all these things so that you can find a great woman, right? You like a lot of guys will go to bars. That's why this whole pickup like there's a big pickup artist movement that happened back in You know the early 2000s, right? And a lot of guys kind of Flocked over to that because it was so difficult for them to meet women get into a relationship And for women, it's the opposite, right? That the whole like getting to sex part for a woman for a woman is really easy Right for a man. It's really difficult, right? And so It's that's the part that most men focus on they tend to focus on this part That's really hard for them, right for women. It tends to be from sex to commitment, right or sex to making him stay in love with you, right or sex to You know marriage, right that tends to be this really difficult thing a lot of times for them and so Men and women just focus on different things But absolutely men spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to be attractive to women. Absolutely. They spend a lot of time You know trying to do things. It's just a different setup. You know once they get into the relationship It's typically a lot easier for the guy because then the woman jumps in and she's like, yeah I'm in this too and then you know, there's a whole bunch of other things that happen that you know I could sit here and talk about for hours, but So, yeah, yeah, absolutely guys spend a lot of time With that so let's okay, so we're talking about mindsets so irresistible mindsets. There's ten of them and we're on number nine and If this is your first time here, make sure you subscribe to get more videos like this or possibly shorter that valuable to you And having the relationship you want Okay, so number nine is the number nine And we're gonna be doing a an exercise in this one is Soft and sensual right this mindset of coming from a space of being soft and sensual and I and you know You may be thinking when I say this but Matt Being soft and sensual isn't a mindset and I'm gonna tell you it is it is a mindset Right because you're coming from this place of being soft You're coming from this place of being sensual and to a man when you do that, right? Because there's all these different expressions of being soft and sensual to a man. It's really attractive, right? It's it's incredibly attractive. It's it's a huge turn-on, right? Um, it feels to him It's like this it's almost like this tingling Emotional and physical kind of thing that he gets in his body and and you can do If you if you do this to him You can do this anytime, right? And if you do this to a man like you're out and you you start coming from the space of being soft and sensual and in you know, maybe in your touch or maybe in your words or Just maybe even in your movements, right? It can be like this thing where the guy's like Wait a second, you know, because what when it draws attention for a guy, right? It goes because it's it's kind of this different thing that a lot of women don't really do and especially they don't do it in public and some Probably most women don't really even do it at all is just this it's like So let's do the exercise real quick that way we can You can get a little bit more of a sense of what I'm really talking about here so the exercise is just just taking a moment and closing your eyes and just feeling just Bring up this word, right? The word of the mindset that you want to have and and you know, the one we're talking about right now is soft softness or sensuality You can also bring up youthfulness. You can bring up the you know, trusting yourself You can bring up the trusting a man one you can bring up You know putting your own heart first you can put up bring up the one about you know I'm not in a rush or you can tell me anything right any of these Just bring up that word just close your eyes and bring up that word in your mind, right and just Like what do you notice about the word, you know how when you look at the word in your mind's eye How does it make you feel? You know if you came from this word You know my word that I'm coming from right now is softness like How does it make you feel like what is it do to your body? Where do you notice the energy and if you came from this space this space of whatever this Word or phrases that you have in your mind right now How would you be like what would you what would it look like for you to be? coming from that word Right, what is what kind of actions would you take? How would you feel about yourself? How would you feel about the man that's with you when he does something? Coming from this phrase or this word, how do you kind of respond to him? Right, how do you react if he says something that maybe is is A little negative. How do you respond then? If he if he says something that's positive How do you respond then if he makes a gesture towards you if he tries to connect with you? How do you respond when you're coming from this space of this phrase or this word? right when you kind of get into this mindset of being this Coming from the space of whatever mindset that that you know, whatever phrase or word that that you're bringing up one of these Irresistible incredibly irresistible and attractive mindsets You know, who who are you being coming from that place? And when you when you're out like you can do this any time, right? If you're if you go out and you're on a date or you're in a situation and you're really frustrated You know, you're with a man and he says something and it triggers you, right? Try just going and you know taking a minute and just sitting down and just getting into Whatever Kind of mindset you're missing and just try to feel it out and feel and think of you know coming from that space Who are you? You know, where what are you doing? How are you? How is your your body shifting? How is your action shifting? How do your emotions shift coming from that space? And when you do that It can be really really really powerful So did you want to add anything? Elena, no, I love that. I was totally doing that right along with you. I was doing I trust myself I just was I thought that was totally great And I felt very like centered because normally I tend to be indecisive and all over the place So when it comes to making decisions, so that's the one I gravitated towards I thought that was awesome. We want to just move on to number 10 the last one Yeah, so that was the exercise. Let's move on to number 10. So this is the most important one I hope you're you know, stay tuned for this one because it's very important and it is The mindset of I respect myself Right and this is important because respect is actually value I spent about six months studying the idea of respect because it was really important to me at one point I didn't understand it at one point. I was like respect. That sounds so stupid you know and When I started to learn about the idea of respect what I figured out was that At the time it was something that I was really missing and that's why I was so confused about it Was this I was missing this this feeling of respecting myself, which is really valuing yourself, right? It's really placing yourself Feeling like you are important, right? You are and coming from a genuine authentic space and saying I am An important human being I'm a valuable human being my who I am is valuable. My time is valuable my energy is valuable my My feelings are valuable, right? My my presence is valuable my my gifts are Valuable, you know My communicating with somebody is valuable. Just being with someone Is valuable right being around somebody it's valuable and If you come from a space of value and you have this assumption Let's use a different word. Let's say you have this belief Let's say you have a belief of knowing that you are valuable. Well, when you come from that space a man Will you know, especially if you've just meet a man and he's used to all these women who devalue themselves, right? We're in the age of the hookup culture everybody's devaluing themselves and If he comes and starts kind of and he expects you to not be valuable, right? Because that's what a lot of men expect these days, right? A lot of guys are Kind of giving up on things a lot of women are giving up on things too and you know, there's a there's a lot of different reasons for both of those that I'm not gonna go on a tangent about right now, but You know when he looks at you and he starts interacting with you if You are coming from the space of I respect myself and I value myself He's gonna feel that right. He's gonna test it Right because that's what he does Subconsciously women do this as well by the way, you know, there's we there's this big Big conversation on our videos about men testing women where women are like well men shouldn't test me Everybody tests each other. Everybody does this Whether you do it consciously or subconsciously everybody's testing each other to see the value that they have And so a man will test you, right? He'll see what he can get away with He'll see how far and how quickly he can push you, right? And one of the Hallmarks of a woman valuing herself And respecting herself is that she does slow things down, right? She slows things down and she says hold on a second, you know, I am worth something here I'm worth a lot, you know, and I'm not just giving My worth away Because I'm a valuable woman that there's a lot of other ways to Kind of express this value as well one of them is boundaries, right? So that's an expression of Your value as we said before, you know, it's it's slowing things down. It's a lot of the ways that you show somebody that you're valuable comes in very small things that you do and The reason why it's so important to have this mindset more than just doing things that show a man that you're valuable is that the mindset allows you to Show a man that you're valuable From the space of believing that you're valuable and so all of your actions all your little actions will tell him Hey, I'm valuable and I'm worth it and You know if I don't know if this is gonna work out between you and me it might might not, you know Most men that I meet it doesn't work out with but if it does work out You know, it'll be worth it right and When he feel gets that feeling from you that you're gonna be worth it his mindset shifts Right because all of a sudden he starts thinking this woman is different. She's different than any other woman that I've ever met before and There's something that's just amazing about her and he'll kind of shift into this mode of like I need to win her over and once he starts doing that you'll you'll notice that It's like one of those things where Have you ever noticed that a guy will treat one woman? You know, like she's just this casual Kind of fling thing that he wants to have with her and then he'll treat another woman like she's this amazing valuable goddess And it's because of the way that he perceives her value Right, it's all about her value. And so when you come from a space of valuing yourself you Start acting and behaving in a way that's congruent with that and he Starts looking at you and he starts believing it, right? It doesn't matter how men have treated you before it doesn't matter what you've done It matters how he perceives you in that moment And if he perceives you as being really valuable then he will treat you like you're really valuable And that's what you want from a man is you want him to treat you as if you're really valuable Did you have anything you wanted to add to that? Yeah, that was great Just that like a man can't respect you anymore than you respect yourself first Just like a man can't love you anymore than you love yourself like what you are getting from a man on the outside What you're getting from anyone in life on the outside. It's only that which you've accomplished inside of yourself already So start respecting yourself more and men respond to actions and distance more than words themselves It's like this vibe and this energy So it's not about you know Just walking up to a guy and telling him that he needs to respect you that won't work Right, it's this it's the energy that you're giving off be based on your actions and your consistency So yeah, if you start off on the right foot of respecting yourself It's amazing the kind of men that will show up men who just want to respect you want to treat you really really well Right from the beginning not expect anything not try and push you too far Beyond your comfort level and it's really amazing if you can start off on the right foot with this start off coming from a mindset of respecting yourself Absolutely, and so there's a couple questions here Before we answer them. I just want to mention if you wanted more information on how to be incredibly attractive to men We've got there's a program. You can check out. It's called feminine enchantment. There's a link in the description and also I give away a 40 free text messages, right? If you want the 40 free text messages that men absolutely love their great text messages Just send some of if you don't know what to say through text Grab those text messages. There's a link in the description to grab those if you want those And so here's a couple questions. So Shelly says what does it mean if a guy says this doesn't mean anything? but yet He starts making extra time to text you for hours and joking a lot So what I'm going to interpret by him saying this doesn't mean anything is That what he's saying is that he doesn't want like Like a real I'm not I'm not totally sure about what you are saying there, but I think what you're saying is that He's saying that he doesn't want like a serious relationship or it like it's not like There's something not serious going on there, right? And maybe he's trying to tell you that it's not like this isn't going anywhere This isn't going to a serious place or whatever. Well, what and then he starts Taking a lot of extra time to text you for hours and jokes with you a lot So one of the things that we kind of talk a lot about is this thing where guys will You know that guys aren't expected to be in relationships anymore, right? That's kind of the expectation that is in our society at this point Guys can just go out and get hookups guys are just going in getting into casual relationship That's the expectation right is that there's nothing serious going on and so when So if a guy Starts acting in ways where you feel like he's trying to do something serious with you But he's saying that he doesn't want anything serious that should be a giant red flag for you right and what it means is that He's gonna treat you like a girlfriend, but he's not going to want you to be his girlfriend and To a woman we get a lot of women that are kind of confused about that But a guy can be in a casual relationship for decades Right, you can be a casual relationship for decades and never feel like this woman is anything to him more than a casual relationship And so that is something that you need to like realize before you try to like And Shelley's saying that he's a few months out of a divorce. Yeah, I mean it so what do you what do you want here, right? If you know if you're kind of being his rebound That might not be what you know, that might not be long term what you really want. Maybe it is I don't know. We had somebody in our we have a Facebook community here It's called the goddess community you're welcome to join it if you want just search the goddess community on Facebook And there was a woman that was talking about She was talking about how she wants that and she's having a great time with that and You know, there's one thing I want to say about that, right a lot of times people have found that Their connection to another person in a casual relationship has been way better Than it's ever is like in a real serious relationship in a kind of committed Relationship that they're in and I just want to ask you a question, which is why do you think that is right? What is it about being in a relationship that all of a sudden? destroys the spark that a lot of people have when they're in that relationship, you know and and What I'd like to say is that there it's probably Something around expectations. It's probably something around effort It's probably that there's kind of this thing where both men and women kind of run into a lot of times where they'll get into a Relationship or they'll get into a marriage and all of a sudden it's like the other person just gives up Right all of a sudden, you know all these bad habits start coming out, right? They start drinking all the time They're like laying on the couch all day and smoking cigarettes and you're like this is a totally different person then I Met when we were dating or I met before marriage, you know and all of a sudden He's turned into this thing, which is why a lot of people are choosing for these casual Relationships these days because there there's a lot of different reasons for it But one of them is that for a lot of people it's easier, right? It's for a lot of people it feels better because when they get into a relationship things change for a lot of people and so I Guess my point really for that is You know if you do get into a relationship with the guy, you know a lot of times guys don't want things to change and women do that's kind of the That's kind of the cliche out there about it Did you want to say anything about that? Yeah, just believe him and He says he this doesn't mean anything to him believe him You know, I always say if a man's words and actions don't match up look at his actions Unless it's a case like this where he's telling you that he doesn't want a serious relationship I don't know if that's what he's telling you but a lot of women hear that from men or this doesn't mean anything Just believe his words and move on date date other men if you want to keep him around to text Whatever you're getting from that that's fine unless it's blocking you from opening up your energy to other men You want to be definitely? Dating other men keeping your energy open to men who are available for the kind of relationship that you want all right, so We are out of time here, but if you You know, like I said before you should check out our feminine enchantment program If you really want to know the secrets of of how to be incredibly Irresistibly attractive to men Check out our feminine enchantment program. Helena does that program the wonderful and beautiful Majestic Helena does that program and it's great. It's a great program got lots of solid information in there If you want something for free and you're not part of our newsletter list yet. Make sure you grab the 40 Flirty text messages that men absolutely love. They're great text messages I get lots of great feedback from women that use those text messages and talking to men They didn't know what to say to a guy and it's like hey just cut and paste, you know send this to them You know guys love the these messages that you could you send them so Yeah, that's it. I you know, thank you everybody for being here. We just broke the 220,000 Subscriber mark here on YouTube and it's all because of you awesome women that are here with us today And so thank you so much for being here. You are the best part of our Community here and we absolutely love you and we love getting your feedback. We love helping you. We love Um, you know just being involved with you. We love you being a part of our community. We love your comments We think you're we think that you're amazing. Okay. I don't know about anybody else, but we think you're amazing So did you want to say anything? Um No, just thanks for being here. Thanks for staying till the end I don't even know is any people still watching. I don't even I guess I can't see anything. Oh my gosh. Wow. Thank you guys so much You're awesome. We love doing this and yeah, we'll be doing some more in the future probably for short, right? Yep, absolutely, and we will talk to you again soon