 Colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay and Luster cream shampoo for soft glamorous caressable hair bring you our miss brook starring Eve Arden Once again for another comedy episode of our miss brooks written by Al Lewis Well old friends like old songs are said to be mellow with age Our miss brooks who teaches English at Madison High School feels that this is a very definitely true Especially when it comes to our beloved principal Osgood Conklin Although mr. Conklin isn't exactly old or actually a friend. He does remind me of an old song Sweetest little fellow. Everybody knows don't know what to call him, but he's mighty lacking in something What it is formed the topic of our conversation last Friday morning when my landlady and I sat down to a particularly early breakfast Here's your coffee Connie. Thanks, mrs. Davis. I can't understand your constant friction with mr. Conklin He isn't naturally mean is he I should say not he's had to practice for years Oh, it isn't all his fault. I think a lot of his bad temper is due to his high blood pressure Yes, it is. When did he get his high blood pressure Connie five years ago this coming February? I see tell me Connie. When did you join the faculty at Madison five years ago? This coming February That is a coincidence isn't it it could be but I'm sure mr. Conklin doesn't think so. You're so right, mrs. Davis He blames me for almost every little accident that occurs at school. That's why he's made me school safety supervisor It's his ironic way of getting even getting even for what oh Few little incidents that occurred last week. What kind of incident well like last Wednesday after school I happened to be leaving the building just as mr. Conklin started down the steps And I noticed a pencil lying right in his path naturally. I didn't want him to slip on it Did you pick it up? Oh, there wasn't time for that all I could do was jump forward and nudge him aside Well, that certainly couldn't have made him angry. I nudged him down the whole flight of stairs My goodness Connie was he badly hurt? Oh, he wasn't hurt at all just a few lacerations here and there His glasses were as good as new after some minor repairs minor repairs to new lenses Anyway, now you know why mr. Conklin declared this to be safety week at Madison Well, I think it's a splendid idea if everyone took proper precautions accidents couldn't happen Except to mr. Conklin now if you'll excuse me I better get ready Walter Dentons picking me up early today so I can check things before mr. Conklin's inspection tour All right, dear. Oh before you go. Would you like another egg or some more toast? No, thanks, miss Davis If I'm going to travel in Walter's car, I've got to watch my weight the last time I rode up front with him The back wheels didn't touch the ground once Your car is running very smoothly today Walter, what'd you do to it? Well on account of this being safety week I decided to give it a thorough overhauling miss Brooks So last night I took off the drive shaft dismantled the transmission and removed the rear end You know something it goes better without him I put them all back miss Brooks, but I fixed everything up first can't be too careful with the car nowadays, you know I like your attitude Walter In fact, you are hereby granted permission to help me with the safety campaign at school today Oh, I'll be glad to miss Brooks Of course when I first heard about it I thought it was just another arbitrary political move made by old marble head mr. Conklin You know to get himself in good with a board of education But his daughter Harriet convinced me that it was for all our goods All our goods Yes, ma'am. She sure is a sensible girl and pretty too. Yeah, she is pretty And Harriet's a good student as well. I know but most important of all she's got sensational taste taste She's been going steady with me for over a year Yes, she is pretty I'm taking her to the football rally tonight. We're having it out on the campus. You'll be there. Won't you miss Brooks safety supervisor? I guess it's part of my job. Oh, we're not going to do anything dangerous Just the usual normal pregame frenzy Now we'll have a nice big bonfire And my pal stretch snot grass is bringing a giant firecracker to open the festivities now Wait a minute. Walter a carefully supervised bonfire may be all right, but the giant firecracker is definitely out But why miss Brooks stretch knows how to handle fireworks. Gosh, you should have seen him last 4th of july I did see him last 4th of july. He passed me on a skyrocket Look, walter. I know stretch is a dear pal of yours and a great football player, but he's not very bright Well, I'll admit. He's no albert einfeld, but If we're very careful miss Brooks, no, I'm sorry walter mr. Conklin's going to be at that rally and I don't want anyone to get hurt especially mr. Conklin I've had a couple of unfortunate encounters with our principal already this week. I know you have you've done a wonderful job on him so far I was there when you helped him down the steps Wednesday after school Boy, he sure was mad your presence didn't help matters any walter Oh, gosh, all I did was hand him back his glasses and say I was sorry That isn't quite all you did walter you handed him his glasses and you said you were sorry and then you giggled right in his face Well, I couldn't help it miss brooks in times of great emotional stress. I always giggle Uh, well, here's the dear old school miss brooks They're pretty crowded. I thought we'd find a parking space easy this early There's one there walter right in front of that car that just pulled up to the curb You think I can squeeze in there miss brooks? Of course now just go straight back That's it back back Further back back back. You've got about a foot. I'm a pretty bad whack. I wonder whose car it is I'll get out and look on the steering wheel. Don't strain yourself miss brooks It's my car. You've partially destroyed mr. Conklin Terribly sorry mr. Conklin, but I'm sure there wasn't any great damage our rear bumper took most of the strain Your rear bumper took most of the glass out of my headlights too I'll get those fixed up for you in a chippy mr. Conklin. I'll just run over to the repair shop and up Leave it to me mr. Conklin. I'll see that it's all taken care of Oh, your front door is still open. Yes. Yes. I know It does that whenever I'm hurled to the sidewalk I'll close it at once. Oh, let me do it for you, mr. Conklin It's not safe to have our car door swinging open, you know, I'll get it Seems to be stuck Miss brooks Did it ever occur to you that there might be a reason why my car door won't close a reason what reason It's simply that my arm is still in it Oh, I'm sure we'll be able to your arm. Oh, is it hurt mr. Conklin? I'm becoming inured to pain But now that you've started your day in an ideal manner for a safety supervisor I suggest that we continue on into school. Of course, sir. Just one thing. Miss brooks I want you to do me a small favor. Oh anything mr. Conklin. What is it? Will you give me a five minute head start into the building? Well, we've still got a few minutes before class waller come into my room and we'll map out the rest of the day's safety measures There are quite a few things that must be fixed around school. Oh, just a minute miss brooks There's stretch snodgrass over by the drinking fountain. Maybe he can give us a hand. He's very good at repair work. Hi, you stretch Hello waller. Morning, miss brooks. Good morning stretch. How would you like to help us out today? This is safety week, you know and mr. Conklin's going on an inspection tour this afternoon Yeah, I know harry was telling me about it. I think it's a swell idea and it's for all our goods There must be another way to say that Stretch all I want you to do is wait a second. What's that you're carrying? Well, this is a giant firecracker miss brooks. I was going to use it for the rally tonight But I just got it all wet when I took a drink Got a match waller. Oh sure stretch here Stretch you're not going to light that monster in school. Oh, of course not miss brooks. I'm just trying to dry the fuse Oh, there we are. Uh, just hold the match here for a little while and then I need a switch. Gosh, I better throw out the window, huh? No stretch. You might hurt some of the kids out there Here give it to me. I'll throw it into the supply room. There won't be anybody in there this early In she goes Thank goodness we got rid of that thing without hurting anyone Look miss brooks the doorknob. It's turning but who could possibly have been in there Who else? Gosh, mr. Conklin, what does it do to your tie? It's all black Who threw the hand grenade at me that way mr. Conklin? We didn't get a very good look at him You weren't burned were you? No, no, but a large box of inkwells fell on my right foot You better go downstairs to the infirmary Mr. Conklin We'll help you here. Give me your hand mr. Conklin. You'll get it later I'll try to limp over to the freight elevator and go down to the first aid room. Oh, this is painful Boy, it's a good thing our school has an elevator. That's one thing about good ol' Madison boy It's a pretty darn modern kind of a school that has a self-operating brand new elevator if that boy doesn't stop babbling I'll break my remaining foot on him Now help me into this elevator miss brooks. Yes, sir here. I'll open the door for you Now in you go mr. Conklin. Thanks. That's funny the light seems to be I'm splendid miss brooks But where's the elevator just don't get nervous mr. Conklin. That's right, sir I'll go get a rope and we'll have you up in nothing flat Gee, I know he doesn't like me very much But I can't help feeling sorry for mr. Conklin first his car's wrecked then he gets slightly bombed and now He's at the bottom of an elevator shaft miss brooks. I know walter You in just a moment, but first here is verne smith Now proof that brushing teeth right after eating with colgate dental cream helped stop tooth decay before it starts Continuous research hundreds of case histories makes this the most conclusive proof and all data-free research on tooth decay Eminent dental authorities supervised hundreds of college men and women for over two years One group always brushed their teeth with colgates right after eating the other followed their usual dental care The group using colgate dental cream as directed using colgates exclusively Showed a startling reduction an average number of cavities far less tooth decay The other group developed new cavities at a much higher rate No other data frisk offers proof of these results modern research indicates decay is caused by mouth acids Which are at their worst after meals or snacks when you brush your teeth with colgates right after eating you help remove acids Before they can harm enamel Yes, colgates contains all the necessary ingredients including an exclusive patented ingredient for effective daily dental care And remember colgates cleans your breath while it cleans your teeth Always use colgate dental cream right after eating to help prevent new cavities help stop tooth decay before it starts Well after placing an out-of-order sign on the elevator and instructing the custodian mr. Jensen to repair the safety gate as soon as possible I resumed my hobby teaching Just before lunch period however, I decided I'd better see how my deputy safety supervisors were making out I found harry at conklin and walter dentin at the downed stairway near the elevator Hi miss brooks wall is just trying to fix this handrail. It's been pretty loose all week Good for you walter. How are you doing with it? Pretty good miss brooks. I'm trying to get this section off so I can repair it. Well, keep up the good work kids I'm going in check with mr. Jensen about that elevator Come in Hi, mr. Jensen. No miss brooks. I'm not You're not what let me recapitulate for you You just knocked on my door. Then I said come in you did so and as you entered my office You said hi mr. Jensen. I in turn rejected this description as spurious Oh, I'm sorry. Mr. Jensen. I am not a bit high miss brooks And such an allegation during school hours might well mean the beginning of the infamy as custodian in this establishment Oh, I forgot how literal minded you are mr. Jensen. It won't happen again. Now. Let's get down to cases There you go again There's alcoholism in your family somewhere Now look mr. Jensen look where I mean listen, then why don't you say listen? It's not such a terribly difficult word for an english teacher. Now is it? Of course not Now just relax And tell me simply what you want of me. There's a good girl. Where's a good girl? Great now i'm doing it. Mr. Jensen all I want to know is how soon you're going to fix the elevator The elevator isn't broken miss brook. It's just the latch on the street door level I've sent out for the small part it needs and when that comes i'll take care of the matter Good. Will you let me know when it's fixed? I won't have to miss brooks I shall merely remove the out-of-order sign and then we'll all know won't we? I suppose we will mr. Jensen You shouldn't worry about the elevator miss brooks. I'm a natural born handyman. I have six children, you know I know. How are they mr. Jensen? Oh fine. Thanks just for the dickens. Oh read a lot do they? No, but Say you got me that dime didn't you? Before you go miss brook, so I'd like to be sure you don't consider me prudely Sure narrow mind to be because of my seeming resentment of your opening remark You remember about my being high. Oh, of course not mr. Jensen. I just you know just between you and me I like nothing better after working hours than to stop in at some cozy bar and grill and have myself five or six jiggers of television Well skull miss brooks um briago mr. Jensen I don't like to curtail a teacher's lunch period like this miss brooks But I'll explain the reason in a moment first how are things in the safety campaign progressing Fine mr. Conklin the elevator will be attended to very shortly and everyone is pitching in to help put safety week over in a big way Good and mr. Conklin May I say that in spite of some of the unfortunate incidents of the day you look very well indeed? I do. Yes, sir. Your bandages are extremely neat Thank you They do a nice job downstairs in the infirmary But about our necessity for speeding things up I just received a call from the board of education miss brooks And they're sending a new inspector over today to observe the result of our safety plan today But when mr. Conklin anytime now he's a mr. Blanchard very good friend of mr. Stone the head of the board I'm going to make a last-minute tour before he comes of course, but first miss brooks I'd like you to look at this electric fan electric fan in october It's a safety model if this sample meets with blanchard's approval We may put these in every room during the warm weather here. I'll start it Now go ahead miss brooks. Put your finger in the fan my finger Go ahead Perfectly safe. Well, thanks just the same mr. Conklin But I prefer the old-fashioned manicure where the fingers stay attached to the hand Well, these are rubber blades softest tissue paper watch I'll put my finger in in Out in out See nothing happens to it at all. It's a wonderful idea Well, we'd better get going now. I'd like to inspect the fire extinguishing apparatus. Yes, sir I'll open it. I'll open it Hi daddy miss brooks wall and I've been going over the wiring in the building You know for loose connections and stuff. Yeah, it wouldn't do for anything to go wrong. The last day of safety week Would it mr. Conklin, huh? I Couldn't think of a more auspicious time to leave my office If mr. Blanchard is coming over I'd better tidy up the place a bit daddy I brought some glass wax for the window. It'll just take us a few minutes. You come along with me, mr. Conklin We'll check the fire apparatus very well Now you check the lamp connections walter and I'll dust off daddy's death. Okay, Harriet I better take this fan off it so that you can use Oh gosh, I dropped it. I hope it didn't break. We'll snap it on. Okay Gosh, nothing happens. It's busted. All right Oh, what does your dad need a fan for in this kind of weather anyway? It must be as high blood pressure walter But don't worry about it. We'll just put this rubber one away and get the one he's gotten his closet It's an old-fashioned one with steel blades, but it's better than nothing Oh, sure. Now. What's the difference as long as there's something cooling off old marble head Your daddy The nozzle of this fire extinguisher doesn't seem to be hanging just right. What do you think miss brooks? Well, I'm not really an expert nozzle hanger, mr. Conklin Maybe I can straighten it out a bit be careful with it, miss brooks when tilted at a certain angle these things can be treacherous Oh, I'll be very careful, sir. Just take it like this You certainly were careful, miss brooks Not a drop missed me Take my hanky, mr. Conklin. Here. I'll put this thing backward Put that thing down. Yes, sir Oh, it cut right through to my instep Now I've got to go down to the infirmary again. Oh, what can I say to you, mr. Conklin? There's nothing you can say to me now miss brooks, but I'll have a few things to say to you when I come back upstairs I'm afraid you'll have to walk down, mr. Conklin. The out-of-order sign is still on the elevator Maybe if I help you you've helped me enough for one day. Thank you. Now go away If I take it easy, I think I can negotiate these stairs I wish I had my glasses on Oh, well, I'll just take a firm grip on the handrail. Oh about that handrail, mr. Conklin I got the handrail for the staircase with me just in time stretch throw it down to mr. Conklin He's waiting for him in his office. What quick harry if you take your father into the infirmary and I'll go back and stall Mr. Blanchard along. Is there anything I can do miss brooks? Yes walters stay away from mr. Conklin until we have danger week Is someone going to help me down the rest of these steps or not? I'll be right there daddy straighten things out up here way a fella sure harry it Gosh this fire extinguisher is a mess, but we better hang an out-of-order sign on it So mr. Jensen fixes it up before the safety inspection. You're right walter wait a minute Here's one right by the elevator Out-of-order. I'll just borrow this for a while So you see mr. Blanchard as safety supervisor for madison high I've worked very closely with our principal in other words miss brooks. You've been at mr. Conklin's side constantly Oh, yes, indeed. I've been at his side on his feet in his hair That is to say we've worked hand in hand all through the week fine I've never met mr. Conklin, but my friends on the board tell me he's always leaned toward safety in the school Right again, mr. Blanchard. Mr. Conklin leaned a long way today He's even thinking of putting in safety first fans See like this one on his desk. I'll just turn it on for you Now put your finger in here, mr. Blanchard But miss brooks. Oh, go ahead. You only live once It's rubber. It's just like tissue paper These things make me nervous miss brooks. However, if you insist, I'll insert my cane among the blades. Here we are I can't say I like my introduction to madison high miss brooks if this is your idea of a joke Oh, no, sir. It's no joke. Somebody must have switched fans on me Well, I think perhaps I'd better meet mr. Conklin and ouch One of those flying splinters larger than my thumb. Let's see. Oh, come on, mr. Blanchard We'd better go down to the infirmary the infirmary, but it's just a sliver. I can please sir follow me That's one thing we insist on at madison prompt care must be taken of the slightest accident But mr. Conklin, I've got to see him and this is a shortcut Yes, mr. Blanchard in this institution We believe in safeguarding the health and well-being of every man woman and beast a child Where are we going miss brooks? Well, fortunately, we won't have to walk down to the first aid room I see the out-of-order sign has been removed from the elevator Elevator, what if it's only one floor down? We oh, I wouldn't think of it mr. Blanchard The stairs are not safe without the handrail here. I'll open the door for you After you sir. Thank you, but the light seems to be ah It's brooks, but I understand mr. Blanchard has arrived. Tell me has he been here very long? No, sir. He just landed He wanted to see the infirmary So I thought I'd take him down and the out-of-order sign is off the elevator as you can see so it was only natural for me Stop babbling miss brooks. I've got to meet this gentleman if he's in the elevator. That's where I Mr. Blanchard mr. Conklin mr. Conklin mr. Blanchard Brooks returns in just a moment, but first dream girl beautiful luster cream girl Tonight yes tonight show him how much lovelier your hair can look after a luster cream shampoo Luster cream world's finest shampoo No other shampoo in the world gives k-doom. It's magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle lanolin Not a soap not a liquid luster cream shampoo leaves hair three ways lovelier Fragrantly clean free of loose dandruff listening with sheen soft manageable Even in hardest water luster cream lathers instantly No special rinse needed after a luster cream shampoo So gentle luster cream is wonderful even for children's hair Tonight yes tonight try luster cream shampoo Dream girl dream girl beautiful luster cream girl You owe your crowning glory to A luster cream shampoo And now once again here is our miss Brooks Well after mr. Blanchard awarded Madison High a safety penance with a picture of a skull and crossbones on it I left the scene of the crime and hurried home that night I phoned mr. Conklin to see if he felt any better And just as I hung up my landlady mrs. Davis came into the room Was that mr. Boynton conny no mrs. Davis he's still away at that biologist convention, but he'll be back next week I just had the most peculiar conversation with mr. Conklin. What did he say? He just recited a little rhyme to me It's one I haven't heard since I was a kid a rhyme Which one conny he just said sticks and stones can break my bones and you didn't do a bad job either Next week turn into another our miss brooks show brought to you by luster cream Shampoo for soft glamorous teresible hair and cold gate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth And help stop tooth decay our miss brooks starring eve arden is produced by larry burns directed by al lewis with music by wilbur hatch Mr. Conklin is played by gale gordon others in tonight's cast where jane morgan dick crena gloria mcmillan lennard smith bob jellison and ed begley Here's good shaving news Three men out of every four can get more comfortable actually smoother shaves with palm olive brushless shaving cream This is not just a claim. Here's the proof 1297 men tried the palm olive brushless way to shave described on the tube And no matter how they shaved before three men out of every four got more comfortable actually smoother shaves Try palm olive brushless yourself. See if you don't get more comfortable Actually smoother shaves the proved palm olive brushless way For mystery liberally sprinkled with labs. Listen to mr. And mrs. North the exciting fun packed adventures of an amateur detective And his beautiful wife tune in tuesday evening over most of these same stations And be with us again next week at this same time for another comedy episode of our miss brooks bob lemond speaking This is cds the columbia broadcasting system