 I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. And I'm here to read the funnies to you, happy boys and honnies. Yes, boys and girls, it's comic weekly time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages, I've poked the Comic Weekly straight into your living room. Your friend, the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. Little Miss Honey, how are you today? Oh, I'm just yesterday. Well, who are you anxious about now? I'm very anxious about he was to go live with a nice old lady on a farm. But when he got there, he found out that there was a younger woman who was pretending to be an old lady. That's right. And I'm wondering, is this young lady who's pretending to be the old lady a crook? Do something terrible to Rusty? Or it will escape before anything bad can happen to him. Well, you really are anxious, aren't you? Yes. So could we please read the funnies? Poked the Comic Weekly? Very well, I'll read that in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Now here we go with Poked the Comic Weekly. And on the first page, under bringing up father, Beatle Bailey. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Toot me a toot and tweet me tweedle. Squeeze out music for Bailey the Beatle. Outside on the parade grounds, the soldiers are busy marching up and down, practicing their maneuvers. But Beatle has gotten into trouble again. And he's been sent to the kitchen to do kitchen police. And today, we find him and his friend, Carrot, busy peeling potatoes, Beatle's size. I wish they gave medals for being on KP. Carrot answers, if I call you, you really deserve one. Carrot stands up and snaps to attention. He holds out a leaf of a tree. Private Bailey, I am proud to present you with his oak leaf cluster. And who are you supposed to be? At that moment, a butterfly lands on Carrot's shoulder. I'm a butterfly colonel, whereupon Beatle joins the game, snaps to attention, looks at the potatoes, and says, troops. And Sean, the colonel is ready to inspect. And Beatle holds up one potato and shouts, eyes front. Last picture, top row, Carrot pretending to be an officer inspecting his troops, marches up and down in front of the potato sacks. Hmm, now put it back. You're looking punchy up here. First picture, bottom row, Beatle shouts, attention to orders. You're on a form today will be jackets. I have spoken. By this time, Carrot thoroughly carried away shouts, passing a fuel. Beatle sticks his head in his jacket and stands like Napoleon. At that moment, the sergeant who has heard the shouting approaches. OK, OK, you guys, pipe down and get back to work. Whereupon Carrot grabs the sergeant's tie and roars back. Watch this, insubordination. And the sergeant goes, what? And last picture, Beatle and Carrot are beside a stack of potatoes twice as high. And they peel away and peel away. Beatle looks at all the potatoes and sighs. It was insubordination, all right. And Carrot apologizes, I got carried away. Officers and pretenders as potatoes were soldiers. And Carrot got carried away when the sergeant came up and he grabbed his tie and yelled, quatsition. Insubordination. And he was the one who was guilty of it. That was subordination? Well, insubordination is when somebody rises up against the authorities who are over him. Oh, then Carrot did a terrible thing. Oh, yes, something that'll cause him a lot of trouble. Well, now let's see what Donald Duck is doing. Oh, yes, because I just love Donald. Very well then, let's turn over the page, go past little iodine, past Prince Val, who's on page three, and who's making a trip into dangerous territory today. Turn over that page. And here we are on page four with Donald Duck. Say the magic words with me. Squeeze them, squeeze them, squeeze them, squeeze the jack. Let's have music to feel it, quack, quack. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. It's three o'clock in the morning and Donald is sound asleep. He snores away when all of a sudden his alarm clock rings. And his nephew, Dewey, trots into Donald's room, shakes Uncle Donald. Hey, wake up, Uncle Donald. This is the day we're going hunting. And Donald wakes up, climbs out of bed, and second picture picks up a sheet of paper with a schedule written on it. And he says to his three nephews who are lined up before him. OK, synchronize your watches. OK, it's 3 o'clock. Now, first, get dressed. And a few minutes later, third picture top row, the nephews dressed in their hunting clothes stand in front of Donald who checks his schedule. OK, boys, report in. Dewey says. I have the gun and ammunition. Jack. Last picture top row, Huey says. And I have the blankets and the hot water bottles. Jack. First picture bottom row, Louie says. And I have the coffee and the food. OK, let's go. Half hour later, they're buzzing along a country road. Dewey looks at his watch. Wait one minute and six seconds behind schedule, Uncle Donald. Don't worry. We'll be on the lake ready to blast by shooting time. 15 minutes later, they're around the lake, rowing to the spot where they're going to do their shooting. Dewey looks at his watch again. 10 minutes to sunrise, Uncle Donald. Don't worry. We'll make it. Finally, the boat comes to a stop. Donald looks at his watch. Three minutes to sunrise and shooting time. Laughing off. They drop the anchor. Now, we'll wait for the ducks to come in. And for you, boy, we'll blast them. 15 minutes later, the sun is almost up. The ducks fly in. But instead of blasting away, Donald and his nephews are sound asleep. And they snore. And the wild ducks go. Operation working out the schedule and everything. Ian and his nephews are so tired that they sound asleep. And Ian got some hunters. He has some hunters. Well, now look across the page. Oh, there's Peter Pan. Yes, Peter Pan. And last week, Peter and Captain Hook were fighting on the edge of a cliff. And Captain Hook's foot slipped, and he fell over the cliff. But his hook caught on a rock, and there he hung in the air. And then the cracker ball that wants to eat Captain Hook came up out of the water and that scared Captain Hook. I will hold up. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Peter Pan. Say the magic words with me. Pirates, crocodiles, Peter Pan. Whisk up music for Never Never Land. As the crocodile who has swallowed the alarm clock opens his mouth, Hook hears the menacing sound. He looks down and shrieks. No, no, no, no. And then his hook gives way. And he falls toward the open mouth of the crocodile. Don't! He two punch on the water below. They disappear from sight. Peter and Wendy wonder what's going on in the water below. And then the crocodile's head appears again. There, third picture top row is Captain Hook his arms and legs wrapped around the crocodile's mouth holding it closed. Sme, the captain's man, rose toward him and shouts, Stay right where you are, Captain. I'll save you. At that moment, the crocodile makes a super crocodile effort, pulls his jaws open, and sends Hook flying in the air. No! As Hook comes flying down, the crocodile snaps his jaws shut on Hook's cork tails. Hook leaps for the boat, quick, Captain. Lands in the boat. Role for the ship, Sme. Role for the ship. Sme rolls for the ship, where the crocodile in hot pursuit. And as they disappear, Peter laughs. The codfish got away. And then suddenly, Wendy exclaims, Peter, what about Tiger Lily? Peter looks around at Tiger Lily, the Indian chief's daughter, whom Hook had left on a rock in the water. He sees the tide is coming in, and now the water is up around Tiger Lily's throat. Peter dives for her. Hey, Tiger Lily! Oh, Tiger Lily! Let's hope he makes it. I'm sure he will. Yes, but we'll find out about that next week. And maybe we'll see whether Captain Hook made his escape from the crocodile. Now let's turn over the page. And look, on page seven, there's Flash Gordon. Oh, yes, Flash Gordon. And you remember that Flash was on the moon, where he had to land when he had trouble with his rocket ship. Yes, and there he found a beautiful woman named Dr. Stella and her assistant, a man named Mark. Yes, but they were crooks, and they caused Flash a lot of trouble. And Flash discovered last week that Mark had taken off in Flash's rocket ship and was trying to overtake a rocket ship from Earth that was carrying a valuable load of freight. And Mark was going to try to rob that ship. Yes, and then Flash would be blamed for it because it was Flash's ship that Mark was using. I wonder if he could have a way with it. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Flash Gordon. The regga-dega-doon-doon-sask-a-matage. Let's have music for heroic Flash. From their lair behind the moon, the space bandits Mark and Dr. Stella used Flash's stolen rocket to hijack a richly laden freighter from Earth. Pulling alongside the cargo craft, Mark orders it to land. When his command is ignored, the ruthless space pirate launches a guided missile at his quarry. There's a terrific roar as the shot strikes home in the crew's headquarters. Back at the moon station, Flash swiftly takes advantage of the opportunity offered by Mark's absence. From a locker, Flash takes three space suits. And as he and his friends Dale and Zarkov down them, he explains, now listen, we're up against overwhelming numbers, but I have a scheme. Flash's plan is simple but dangerous. With his rocket pistol, he blasts open a viewport. The pressurized air pours out of the station into empty space. The pirate guards, realizing the air has escaped, become panicky. They know they can't live without air. Some of them frantically try to put on space suits. Others vainly struggle to seal the leaking viewport. First picture, bottom row. Before the stunned space outlaws know what's happened to them, Flash brushes past them and forces open the hatch that leads to the sealed underground laboratory. A sudden onrush of air proves that someone is inside, keeping up emergency pressure in this last ditch hideout. A glance shows Flash that the sole occupant of the laboratory is the pirate queen Stella. Huddled in a corner, weak from the sudden loss of air, she summons her waning strength to fire her blast gun as Flash's form is silhouetted in the hatchway. But her aim is unsteady and the shot goes wild. Last picture, Flash picks up the suffocating queen. Dale arrives on the scene. Flash orders, quick, tell Zarkov to stand guard. I'll take Stella into the airlock. Unless she gets oxygen in a hurry, she's doomed. Dr. Stella, now he's the boss. Yes, it looks like he is. He's unconscious, and at the moment, Flash is the boss. That was smiting room. Yes, because his suit manufactures oxygen so he can breathe. Yes, but the others can't when they don't have their space suits on, can they? No, they can't. Well, I wonder if Flash will capture Mark and the others when they return to the rocket ship. That's something we'll find out next week. Now let's turn over the page and see who's there. All right. Oh, look, there's Dick's adventures on the last page of the first section. And I'll read that in just a moment. But first, here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Now here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly. And on the last page of the first section, Dick's adventures. Magic words for the music, please. Say them will me, please. Riggily-pack-a-zack-a-zick. Let's say music for adventure to stick. Dick is dreaming that he's in the early days of America in the territory of Texas. At this time, Texas still belonged to Mexico. Dick is with his friend Jim Bowie, who has been working to secure Texas freedom from Mexico. He and Dick have been pursued by Mexican soldiers. When their escape was cut off, they dashed into the old city hall and made their way to the bell tower. They're only safe there for a short time before they hear the sound of a battering around below. When Dick looks over the edge of the tower, he sees the Mexican soldiers with a huge timber battering against the door. And the door gives way, and the soldiers burst in. Last picture, second row, the soldiers search in the half darkness of the building, looking for the two Texas rebels. And then one of them sees the stairway. And in a second, the soldiers are heading for the tower. First picture, second row, Dick, who is looking down the stairs, exclaims, Jim, they're coming up. For a second, it looks as if Jim and Dick are trapped. But then suddenly, Jim exclaims, Hey, Dick, the bell. And he springs to the cradle on which the bell hangs. But quick, Dick, pull. Let's rip it loose. Desperation gives them strength with all their might they lift. And the bell slips off its frame. For a second, it is poised on the edge of the staircase. Already, the soldiers are swarming up. Bowie shouts, here we are. We're coming down. And he gives the bell a push. And it roars down the staircase onto the soldiers below. Ah! Oh, no way! There's another one! First picture, third row, the fantastic weapon clangs down in terrifying destruction, knocking the soldiers down like 10 pins. Oh, no! Oh, no! I jump across. And then a second later, our rope appears from the bell tower. And in the confusion, Dick and Jim Bowie, last picture, slide down the rope. All right, come on, Dick, fast. And Jim and Dick make their escape. That it was, using the bell the way they did, rolling it down the soldiers? Yes, boss. Was a lucky thing that rope was there for Dick and Jim to slide down? Yes, but I... Yes, so am I. We'll have to wait until next week to find that out. Now, look below Dick's adventures. There's Rusty Riley. Oh, yes, and I'm anxious to see what happens to him because Rusty has come to Denver Dooley's farm. You remember? Yes. Rusty's to have a job on the farm, taking care of Dooley's horses. And he's supposed to live with Dooley's sister. Yes, and Mr. Dooley said that she was an old lady. But instead, when Rusty got out to the farm, he found a young lady who was pretending to be old. And also, there was a man there who was pretending to be the hired man. But I know he's up to some crooked scheme and he's planning something against Rusty. I wonder what this is all about. Well, let's read now and see if we can see what this is all about. Here we go with Rusty Riley. Gallop and run till the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty. Rusty's been taken to his room by the lady downstairs, and he says to himself, he sure is a nice place to live. Miss Dooley's real swell, but... Mr. Dooley said she was his older sister. And the man at the station said she was a nice old lady, but gee, Miss Dooley looks young enough to be Mr. Dooley's daughter. And then he tries the radio, but it doesn't work. He thinks the antenna needs fixing. So he tries to get on the roof by way of the attic. But fourth picture top row, he finds the door to the attic locked. Collie's a big heavy lock on this door. I guess they must keep a lot of valuable stuff up in the attic. Last picture top row, he says to himself, oh, well, I'll ask Miss Dooley later if I can go up there. Right now, I'll go look at the horses I'm supposed to take care of. First picture bottom row, Rusty comes into the barn, takes one look at the horses and exclaims, Sheepers, they're poor things. They're in awful shape. He looks for feed right away. Those poor horses are half-starved. They haven't been brushed down in months. I hope I can find some oats. Oh, shucks, the feed bin's empty. Just then the barn door opens and in comes Mel, the suspicious character who's pretending to be the hired man. Oh, hello, Mel, I was just going to look for you. The horses need feed. They're in awful bad shape. Isn't there any feed? Mel's stammer's, well, they've been sick. The feed man didn't show up, and wait here, I'll speak to Miss Dooley. Last picture, Mel is in the house talking to the girl who's pretending to be Miss Dooley. And listen, Trixie, that kid knows too much about horses. They gotta have feed. He's likely to tell Dooley, we gotta spend a few bucks. Trixie answers, oh, all right. No need to make any commotion of it. It's a way to get another check cashed. Yes, it is. You should never treat animals that way. Tie them up and then not bring them food or water. No, because the poor animals can't help themselves. I just hate people who are cruel to animals. I feel the same way. I wonder, I wonder what... Well, maybe... I wonder if they're holding a prisoner someplace. I suppose that Mel and Trixie are a couple of robbers who are hiding away there. Well, we'll find out more about that next week. Now it's time to go to the second section. Oh, yes, and here's Dagwit. Here's Dagwit on the first page of the second section of Puck the Comic Weekly. And here we go with Dagwit and Blondie. Ram-a-foo, ram-a-fum, zim-zam-zombie, conjume music for Dagwit and Blondie. Blondie and her neighbor, Tutsi Woodley, are standing out by the back fence talking. I'm trying to figure out what to cook for supper tonight. Yes, it is a problem, isn't it? At that moment, Alexander rides his bicycle up to Dagwit, who's talking to Herb Woodley in front of the house. Hey, Pop, will you watch my bike for me while I change my clothes? Oh, sure, son. Moment later, last picture top row, Blondie and Tutsi are still talking about plans for supper. I can't give him chicken croquettes. He doesn't like that. Suddenly, Dagwit comes whizzing toward them on a bicycle. Don't look. He's just showing off. And Dagwit whizzes out of sight. Blondie leans back against the fence first picture, second row. It's too late to start a stew. Tutsi throws up her hands in resignation. Honestly, sometimes I think there's nothing left to cook. And then, Herb comes whizzing toward them on the bicycle. He's standing on the seat on one foot, holding the other high in the air. Hey, look at this! The girls pay no attention to him. And Herb sails out of sight. First picture, third row, Blondie says. I wouldn't dare give Dagwit fish again. We've had it three nights in a row. Oh, yes, I forgot. Mr. Dithers gave you all of his mackerel he caught on his fishing trip. And then the bicycle appears again. This time, Dagwit and Herb are both riding it. Dagwit is sitting backwards on the handlebars and Herb is upside down, standing on his head on the seat. Yippee! Don't look. The girls turn their backs on the boys and the bicycle goes fast. Why, we should be on the circus! Last picture, third row, Blondie says. Let's see, what else is there? Chops, steak, sparrows, and sauerkraut. Bank food and beans are nice for a change. When suddenly, there is a... Hey, what are you doing? Oh, what's wrong with you? The girls dash around the corner. Second picture, bottom row, they see Herb and Dagwit lying in the ground under a fish cart. And they're surrounded by fish. And the fish peddler shouts, pay me for every water these fish are like gold. And last picture, Herb and Dagwit with their arms full of fish are going up the walk, followed by Blondie and Tootsie. And Blondie says, Well, anyway, we know what we're going to have for supper. I'm off in front of the girls. Yes, I'm afraid their enthusiasm carried them too far. Yes, it carried them. And into another fish dinner. Yes. Well, let's turn over the page now and see who we find. Let's go past the Lone Ranger on page 2. And there on page 3 under Snuffy Smith is Roy Rogers. Oh, yes, last week. Yes, the cattlemen are trying to drive some farmers named Trent out of the country. And the cattlemen rode to the Trent farm and shot their horses and cows and all the animals last week, you remember? Yes, and one of these cattlemen was dressed just like Scarecrow Katie, a nice old man. And so the Trents think that he is to blame for all their trouble, but he's not. But the Trents have been trying to catch Scarecrow Katie and so far, Roy has prevented them. But last week in the fire with the Trents, Roy got knocked subconscious. I wonder what will happen next. Yes, Roy was knocked unconscious. So let's see what happens. Here we go with Roy Rogers, king of the cowboys. Ah, yippee-yoh. Now here we go with Roy and Trigger. Ah, yippee-yoh. Hug Trent in his father, stand over Roy's unconscious body and then a man gallops up. Hey, Trent, Scarecrow Katie and his gang just raided your farm. Hurry and we can pick up the trail. Quickly the Trents and their friends mount up. Hurry, come on, Pog, let's go! As soon as the Trents have disappeared, Katie's daughter, Oriole, appears some out of the brush behind the building. She thanks Roy for helping her escape from the Trents. Roy gets to his feet, mounts Trigger, last picture top row. After I make sure you safely reach your father's hideaway, Miss Katie, I aim to find out why he's blamed for leading the war on the valley nesters. Meanwhile, first picture bottom row at a cabin in a nearby ranch. A man who is wearing clothes that look exactly like Scarecrow Katie is undressing. A cattleman enters. Hey, hide them clothes, good snapper. We do want somebody finding out you ain't the real Scarecrow Katie. Ah, relax, Pete. Then Snapper takes a map out of his pocket and pointing to it, he says, Soon as we run the Trents out, we tear down their blasted fences so our steers can use their water hose. A little savvy? Yeah, sure. And that poor old local Katie Humberie gets to blame. Yeah, pretty slick. A short time later, at Scarecrow Katie's hiding place, the sound of horses hoops floats through the air for the old man's ears. Quickly, he unloosens the falcon. A bird he is trained for hunting. I hear somebody coming, black lady. He beats anybody but my daughter. Don't let him reach you. Now fly. Last picture, Roy and Oriole are riding up the trail toward Katie's hiding place. Suddenly, the bird swoops out of the air. Straight for Roy, it dies. The girl shrieks. Roy, watch out, that's daddy's trained falcon. He'll claw your eyes out. Look at those sharp claws. Ooh, hey, where are they, Roy? Well, that's something I'm afraid we'll have to wait until next week to find out. Now, that's all the time I have. But before I go, here's that nice fella with some more interesting information. All right, Mr. Weekly. Okay, that's a date. And a date with all you boys and girls. Be sure to meet me with our little friend Miss Honey next week when I read Puck the Comic Weekly. For I'm the Comic Weekly man, the Jolly Comic Weekly man. I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friend the Comic Weekly man, the Jolly Comic Weekly man.