 The Jell-O program coming to you from the Ritz Theater in New York City starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Dane, yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens the program with Cheerio. Ladies and gentlemen, if I seem to be just a bit excited tonight, please forgive me because Jack and I just got our first glance at a wonderful new recipe book that the General Foods people have been working on for the past year and a half. It's called the Calendar of Desserts and friends, this calendar of desserts is the most attractive, most convenient, most exciting book of recipes ever introduced on the air. In all our seven years of broadcasting, we've never offered you Jell-O listeners a recipe book of any kind. Frankly, we wanted to wait until we had something really outstanding and the calendar of desserts is it. It's not just a small booklet that you'll use maybe a time or two, but a recipe book designed to be used every single day of the year. With a grand dessert suggestion for every day from January to December, charmingly illustrated and cleverly arranged for rapid reference. Just name the day and presto, this convenient calendar, names the dessert. There are 365 different ideas for all kinds of desserts including pastries, puddings, cakes, cookies, and of course dozens of delightful Jell-O desserts too. All of you I know will want this well calendar of desserts and we've made it easy to get. Simply send your name and address to Jack Benny, the care of General Foods Battle Creek, Michigan, in closing 10 cents in Koyuna Stamps. Write for your copy of this new handy calendar of desserts tonight if possible, tomorrow sure. Played by the orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, as you all know, this week our program originates from New York City. Yes, sir. New York, which was originally purchased from the Indians for $24. Yep, 24 bucks. So tonight we bring you a man who could have bought it for $23.50, Jack Benny. Thank you. Jell-O again. This is Jack Benny talking. And Don, I don't mind you're kidding me about being tight when we're in Hollywood. But here in New York it doesn't fit. You see, there's a guy living in this town that makes me look like diamond Jim Brady. Yes, I think I know what you mean. I think you do. This particular fellow whom I shall refer to as F.A. is so stingy that all during the election he wore a Roosevelt button with teddy scratched off. And uh... Now wait a minute, Jack. I wouldn't make any gags about Fred Allen if I were you. Remember he's right here in New York and you might have trouble with him. Oh, I'm not scared of that windbag. Now let me tell you something, Don. I've got a bodyguard with me that's one of the toughest mugs in New York City. His name is Killer Hogan. So don't be afraid to ask me what I told you to this morning. Go ahead, Don. Ask me. Tell me, Jack, why did Allen say on his last program that your teeth were so sensitive that you had to warm your dental floss before using? Is that true? Uh, no. He just said that because he's jealous. You see, Allen has no teeth at all. Well, I can't understand that. I've often seen him chewing gum. Don, you may have seen him gumming his gum, but not chewing it. As a matter of fact... Oh, hello, Hogan. Everything's okay outside, Chief. Okay. Everything okay in here, Chief? Yes, okay. I'm on the job, Chief. Okay, okay. Well, Don, it's sure great to be back on Broadway. Oh, pardon me, Jack. Was that Killer Hogan? Yes, he may not look so tough, but he's really a gorilla. Uh, tell me, Don, have you had any fun in New York? Oh, yes, indeed, Jack. The little woman and I are having a grand time. Oh, yes, the little woman. By the way, Don, as long as this trip is a sort of a honey moon for you, I'd like to pay your wife's hotel bill as well as yours. Oh, you don't have to do that, Jack. Oh, yes, Don, I insist. Well, thanks, thanks very much. That's darn nice of you. That's all right, by the way, where are you living? At the Ritz Carlton. Oh, oh, the Ritz Carlton, eh? Yes, it's on Madison Avenue. I know where it is, you big fathead. All right, Don, I made a promise, and I'm going through with it. You can live at the Ritz. Thanks. Now, here's a handful of nickels. You know where to eat. Oh, you're standing in line for change. Hey, change. Oh. There's a dame out here. Should I let her in? A dame? Yeah, she looks suspicious. Out of my way, Ecstasy. Mary, aren't you the one? You know, Mary, you've got a bigger reception than I did. You must be. Hogan, what are you standing there for? She took my blackjack away from me. Mary, please return, Mr. Hogan's blackjack. Some blackjack. It's got jelly beans in it. Never mind. Hand it over. OK. Here it is, Hogan. Don't. Jarn you. Mary, I won't have you beating up my bodyguard. You can go, Hogan. OK, Chief. Now, Mary, was that nice? A fine bodyguard. He's OK. I got him from a very reliable employment agency. He must have sent you manicures by mistake. Just leave him alone, that's all. OK. Hello, Don. How's the little woman? Oh, she's just fine, thanks. And you know what, Mary? What? Jack is paying all of our expenses at the Ritz-Carlton. That's great. Jack who? Jack me, that's who. I'm paying all the expenses for Don and his wife while they're in New York. It was my own idea. Can't be the heat. It's cold here. All right, it's cold here. Oh, by the way, Mary, I saw you last night at the Edwin show. Did you see it, Jack? Edwin? And not yet, Don. Well, don't miss it, he's a scream. Tell you, Jack, my side's still age. Edwin, eh? You should have been there. You know Jack Don left slaughtered Edwin that he does it to you. Oh, he does, eh? What else did you see, Mary? Oh, I saw a lot of swell shows. I've been going every night. Edwin, eh? I saw George Washington slept here and Panama had he, and I saw. Just a minute, Mary. Listen, Wilson, what's so funny about Edwin? Well, to tell you the truth, Jack, I think he's one of the best comedians I've ever seen. Oh, you do, eh? Yes, I do. Well, then get him to pay your wife's expenses at the rent. Jack, you don't expect Don to go to a musical comedy and not laugh at it, do you? Nobody doesn't have to keep raving about Edwin all the time. I wasn't raving about him. I just said I liked him. All right, you like him. That doesn't mean you have to go around telling people that I'm washed up. Then he's through. Who said that? I can read between the lines, brother. Talking about it. The minute he gets in town, he's got to run right over and see the Edwin show. Oh, Jack. Then he comes to the program. All he talks about, Edwin, Edwin, Edwin. That's all I hear. Well, what about it? Personally, I can see no reason for paying his wife's hotel bill. Well, the deal's off, Don. Oh, boy, I wish I could get out of my girdle that easy. I'm trying to get out of it, Mary, but. Say, Chief. Oh, fine. There's a young fella out in the hall who claims he's a tenor. Should I give him the old one, too? Oh, let him in. OK. Come in, you. Oh, hello, Dennis. Hello, Mr. Benny. You can go now, killer. Dennis, give Mr. Hogan his blackjack. The jelly beans, too? Yes. Now, get out, Hogan. Who is he, Mr. Benny? My bodyguard. I got him in case Fred Allen tries to have me slugged. Well, you don't have to worry about anyone annoying you at the hotel, Mr. Benny. You're at the Sherry Netherlands, aren't you? Yes, Dennis. Why? Well, my uncle is the house detective there. Oh, is that so? What's his name? Peek-a-boo McNulty. Oh, yes, I meant him. And by the way, I wish you'd speak to him, Dennis. He threw an ant of mine out of my room yesterday. It was very embarrassing. I'll mention it to him. Thanks. Well, Dennis, as long as Phil isn't here yet for his band number, how about doing your song? OK. Wonder where he is, anyway. Mary, did you call Phil at his hotel like I told you to? Yes, and before I could tell him who I was, he made a date with me. Oh, well, he'll probably be along pretty soon. Go ahead, Dennis. Let's have your number. OK. Now what? Come in. Mr. Benny? Yes? It gives me extreme pleasure to welcome you to our thanks, Hogan. Drag him out. OK, Chief. I knew I'd get rolling. I knew you would. Once before I fell in love so blind. Or why? Or where? Let us pray by might. There I go, sung by Peekaboo's nephew. And very good. By the way, Dennis, you remember before we left Hollywood, I promised your mother I'd keep an eye on you and see that you behaved yourself. Who, me? Yes, you. I don't want to stop you from having a good time here in New York, but I don't like the idea of you're going to burlesque shows and then waiting at the stage entrance for the girls. That is a nice. Well, you do it. Dennis, after all, I'm a little older than you are. A little, he says. I mean, I'm an adult. In the first place. Hiya, Jackson. Look what I found out in the hall. Phil, put Hogan down. OK, well, here I am, folks. Come on, Patty Kay. All right, killer, you can go. Should I give him the old one too, Chief? No, just get out. OK, I'm on the job, Chiefy Boy. Say, Jackson, who is that guy? Never mind him, Phil. What's the idea of showing up so late? Well, you know how it is, Jackson. I only get to the big town once a year. I've got a lot of things to do, a lot of things to see. Uh-huh. Now, take this afternoon for instance. I went to Staten Island. You went to Staten Island? How did that happen? I followed a blonde into a hotel and it turned out to be a ferry boat. Oh, so you went to Staten Island, eh, Phil? Do you see the Statue of Liberty? Yeah, and she waved at me. Now, cut that out! Anyway, Phil, it's nice to do a little sightseeing while we're in New York. Oh, boy, Fifth Avenue on a windy day. Don't forget you promised to take me to see Life with Father next week. It's a date, Mary. Wait a minute, Mary. I took you to see Life with Father the last time we were in New York. Yeah, but look where we sat, way, way up in the balcony. Oh, we weren't up so high. Go on, a St. Bernard dog brought us our program. Don't be silly. We couldn't have been so far up. I saw the whole show. Sure, but you hogged the telescope. You had it just as much as I did. There's a man outside that says he's a doctor. A doctor? Yes. Should I get him the old one, too? Yeah, give him the one, too. Where is he? Jack, look at that quack you had in Hollywood. Oh, my goodness. Well, well, how's my little man this chilly, willy day? Dr. Leroy, I told you last week my cold was cured. What are you doing in New York? Now, I've got a cold. Is there any of that medicine left? No, there isn't. Well, as long as I'm here, I might as well look you over. I told you there's nothing wrong with me. I feel wonderful. Now, open your coat. I want to tap your chest. Oh, what's the use? Now, hold still. You see, there's nothing wrong. Let's try over here. Well, there goes my watch. Now, Doc, will you please leave me alone? Just a minute. I want to see if your lungs are all right. Take a deep breath. Oh. Come now, take a real deep breath. Oh, all right. Now, hold it. Ladies and gentlemen, while Jack is holding his breath, why don't you run down to your neighborhood grocer and ask him for a package of jello. It is not only tempting, but economical and easy to make. Jello comes in six delicious flavors, strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, and lime. So always look for the big red letters on the box. I thank you. Well, good night, Mr. Benny. I'll see you tomorrow, and then you can exhale. I'm exhaling right now. For heaven's sake, how long do you think I can hold my breath? Look at his face, Doc. It's all blue. Don't worry. It'll go back to gray in just a minute. Goodbye. Wasn't he a different doctor than we had the first show? No, folks, that's what I like about radio. If your doctor gets sick, you can always use one of your writers. Are you coming all the way from Los Angeles? He was here, Mary. He didn't come. I see him every day. Well, it's Rochester, so I told him before we left Hollywood to call up the doctor and tell him I don't need him anymore. Hey, Jackson, where is Rochester? I don't know. I haven't seen him since our first day in town. We got off the train. He came to the hotel with me, unpacked my trunk, pressed my new brown suit, put it on, and that's the last I saw. Now, Phil, play a number while I cool off a little, will you? OK. Well, listen, Jackson, this isn't my regular band, so don't expect too much. Phil, believe me, if they hit just one good note during the entire number, you have not made this trip in vain. Now, go ahead, chiefie. I'm played by Phil Harris and his New York orchestra. Say, Phil, where did you pick up these musicians? Oh, I just stood in front of the Bond building and whistled. Well, from the sample I just heard, you better go back there and pucker up. Say, Mary, do me a favor, will you? What do you want? Get my little book out of my overcoat. I got some phone numbers there where I might be able to reach Rochester. OK. I'll find out once and for all whether he's California's ambassador to Harlem or working for me. Hey, chief. Oh, fine. What is it, Hogan? There's a guy out here who says he's the mayor. The mayor? He don't look like LaGuardia to me. He don't, eh? No. Hello, Jack. Can I see you for a minute? What? Well, it's the mayor of Warkeigan, Bidey Tolka. Come on in, Bidey. Prize. I'm glad to see you, Bidey. Listen, Hogan, this gentleman is the mayor of my hometown. Oh, oh, oh. And I'm glad I didn't give him the old one, too. What do you mean, the old one, too? One, too, but my shoe, three more. Shut the door, I know. Holy smoke. My goodness, Jack, who is that fellow? Well, it's like this, Bidey. Fred Allen's got a bunch of thugs out looking for me, so I had to hire a bodyguard. Bidey, you know the gang, don't you? Sure. Hello, Phil and Don. Oh, glad to see you, Mayor Tolka. Hiya, Bidey. What's cooking? Phil, please. Well, well. And there's Kenny Baker. Hello, Kenny. Hello. Dennis, wake up. You're not Kenny Baker. What's the difference? A tenor's a tenor. Well, I've had trouble with all of them, if that's what you mean. Tell me, Bidey, how's the old gang in Warkeigan? How's Julius Sinegan and Stubb Wilburn? Oh, they're around. The last time I saw Stubb, he was on the floor of his garage. Oh, fixing a car, eh? Nope, just laying there. Ah, good old Stubb. Here's your little red book, Jack. Thanks. Oh, Mary, you remember Bidey Tolka, the mayor of Warkeigan, don't you? Oh, sure. Hello, Mary. Hello, Bidey. What's that under your nose? That didn't go the first show, either, I guess. Say, Bidey, don't know why we didn't change that. We were changing. How did I overlook that? Bidey, I meant to ask you, isn't that your gavel sticking out of your coat pocket? Yeah. What do you need that for? You're in New York. I brought some walnuts with me. Goodie, after the show, we'll have a party. Yeah. Now, excuse me a minute, Bidey. Say, Mary, I've got to get in touch with Rochester. Call up this first number in my little book. He may be there. OK. Well, Bidey, I can't get over your being in New York. What's the big idea? I came to see you about the premiere of your picture, Jack. We're all set for you in Warkeigan. In Warkeigan? Why, Bidey, didn't you know the premiere of Love Thy Neighbors being held right here in New York Tuesday night? Well, I'll be dogged gone. Jack, that number's ringing. Give me the phone. Excuse me, Bidey. Hello? Hello. This is the Harlem Social Benevolent and Sparibs Ever Thirsty Club. Can you tell me if Rochester's there? Come again? Rochester Van Jones. He works for me, and I want to talk to him. Are you Mr. Jack Benny? Yes. Uh-oh. What do you mean, oh, is he there or not? Well, he was here, Mr. Benny. But as soon as he started to win, he left. Was he shooting craps? He must have been. We ain't much on backgammon up here. Where do you think I can get in touch with Rochester? You might try Monument 81700. That's his girlfriend. All right, thank you. Mary, try Monument 81700. OK, Chief. Oh, Bidey. Yes, Jack? I'm surprised you didn't know about the premiere being held in New York. Well, can't you switch it to walk, Egan? Not very well. You see, it's all set for the Paramount Theater here Tuesday night, Bidey. Well, I'll be dog gone. Yeah, well, look, Bidey, there was nothing I could. Hey, yeah, Jack. Give me that phone. Excuse me, Bidey. Hello? Susan Brown, the sweetest girl in town talking. Well, Miss Brown, this is Jack Benny. Uh-oh. I'm trying to get in touch with Rochester. Is he there? He was, yeah. Oh, well, do you think he'll come back? In all modesty, I can guarantee that. He returns. Will you please have him call my hotel? And also tell him he's not getting any salary this week. That ain't going to worry him much. He's got a paradise that must have gone to Harvard. Oh, he has. Well, Miss Brown, where do you think I could reach him right now? Well, he left the number here, Lehigh 25863. Lehigh 25863. Is that another girl? If it is, I'm going to cut your brown suit to ribbons. Thank you very much. Goodbye. Goodbye. They're all gone. That boy's always in trouble. Say, Mary. What? Rochester won a lot of money in a crap game last night. Well, figure out some way to get it yourself. I'm busy. It's not why I mentioned it. Die Lehigh 25863 and see if he's there. OK. You know, Bidey, I'm awfully sorry about the premiere. But didn't you get my letter? Sure. But I want the opening to be in Walk Keegan. So do I, Bidey. But it can't be done. Oh, why not? Look, Bidey, if I told you once, I told you five times. The premiere is in New York, and there's nothing I can do about it. Here you are, Jack. Give me the phone. Excuse me, Bidey. Hello? Hello to Spin Club. Look, Mr. Ratcliffe Spins Jr. talking to. Now, look, Ratcliffe, I'm trying to get in touch with Rochester Van Jones. Uh-oh. This is Jack Benny. You heard me. Uh-oh, didn't you? What about Rochester? Is he there? He was. I understand he's been very lucky. Lucky, he says. Now, Ratcliffe, please tell me, where did Rochester go? I'm in New York. So you see, Bidey, if there was anything I could possibly do. I've heard a lot of stories about what a swell book this new general foods calendar of desserts was going to be. But honestly, I never dreamed it was going to be half as beautiful and original as it really is. It's a unique dessert book that gives you a new dessert idea for every day in the year. 365 different suggestions, covering every kind of dessert, and a whole host of clever jello treats, too. For example, on page nine, there's a recipe for a grand dessert called current ruby molds, made with rich red strawberry jello, and it's really good. Strawberry jello, you know, like raspberry jello, is now better than ever, with the new improved flavor obtained by using a natural flavor base artificially enhanced. So get your copy of the calendar of desserts and be all ready to make this grand treat and 364 others. Just send 10 cents in corn or stamps to Jack Benny, care of general foods, Battle Creek Michigan, and a copy of this beautiful, useful day by day calendar of desserts will be mailed to you promptly. Send for yours today. Last number of the 11th program in the current jello series, and we will be with you again next Sunday night, still broadcasting from New York City. Say bye to you, as long as you're in town, how about sticking around until Tuesday and see the opening of our picture? OK, of course, I'll have to call up the little woman. Well, now you're talking. Good night, Johnny. Keep up the o-