 Next question is from Taylor Baca. What's the hardest thing about being a dad? Oh Adam you're the newest dad. You're the newest dad in the room. What's the hardest thing so far, you know, um, I Guess I sound like an asshole if I say that it there's nothing really hard There's like little things right and I think the the hardest if I were to label or the thing that comes to mind It's probably that the difference of that you have with your partner who's raising him And all the little subtleties like I'll give you an example To the two that come to mind that I and I've shared one of my shared the crawling story I believe on the podcast that I showed on the right so that we're a little bit little like let him struggle more Yes, yes rescue him right and there's another there's another thing recently. That's came up that like You know, he's starting to walk around right? He's he hasn't walked He's not walking but he wants to walk all the time So he you know He's grabbing people's hands and then he that's all he wants you to do is walk them everywhere And I'm actually really adamant about not wearing shoes. I want him barefoot I want him barefoot like all the all the time like I don't care if he's walking over dirt and rocks and everything like that Like I think that's really good for him to start to adapt that way And then we can put shoes on him later on when it's like we're go I'm not talking about when we're going public places in a grocery store I'm talking about when we're in front of our house or her brother-in-law's house or somebody's Yeah, you're not walking through the tenderloin in San Francisco barefoot. Yes. Yeah, but you know in In our in our round our house and things like that I like that and she's like no, he's gonna hurt himself We can step on glass or he can cut his foot and so this last for his birthday His sister has like, you know, they have kind of an older house and you guys remember who's sister Katrina. Yeah, her sister and brother. I think you've been out there. Have you guys been out to that house? Yeah, no in San Martín. No, okay So anyways, they have like an older house and the the the driveway is like definitely like older asphalt You know where there's like it's not flat and smooth. It's like rocks all over chunky. Yeah chunky like that and I had him barefoot and He walks the best and now my theory on this is that you have so many nerve endings in your in your feet this kid up until this point has only felt grass or Carpet and all of a sudden he gets on this and I could see his like his toes and Gripping the floor all of a sudden he's walking weight like he's his balance is way more stable now It's scarier because he's unstable, right? So, you know, she's like you got to get shoes on him And I'm like no like this is great for him right now It's waking up all those nerve endings that he's he's unaware of right now is the brain is developing Yes, and it's and it's speeding that process up And so we get into this little bit of a tiff over it and then I you know I find myself getting fresher because I feel like this is kind of like my field It's like this is kind of what I'm like the my specialty Let me have him let me have him here and she's like no I don't want him to fall and get hurt You know and I want I don't want to cut his foot and then with the rush him to the hospital type of deal So I find and it obviously it wasn't even a big deal for us and we we moved on But it was enough for her to like to throw a jab at me and be like hey, whatever, you know type of deal So we've had a couple moments like that where there's just a difference of opinion on how something should be done That's about the only thing. I mean, of course like Tired nights and we don't get to have our date nights like we used to and like the selfish side But honestly That's not hard for me because I waited till I was almost 40 so I'm over selfish Adam So I'm not having a hard time with that. I was ready for all that which I believe if I was 25 That would be really hard for me The hardest thing I'd say is just that is that you know Katrina was raised a certain way I was raised a certain way we both have certain things that we probably feel strongly And I'm sure you guys have stories to relate to this I could echo, you know, again, it's very similar to my household It's very similar to that, but I think for me. It's it's I don't want to always be captain. No fun And really it's it amounts to like there's there's ice cream trips There's these things that like happen when I'm out of town and all these things and it's like I Struggle with that because I I guess like I'm trying to create opportunities for fun that don't involve You know high sugar outlet things are like, you know way too much like electronic stimulus and you know These are these are the types of things I pay attention to the behaviors that results You know from all of that that crazy input and so I try and balance to the point where you know I don't want like the rebellion to happen as a result of dad always throwing the hammer down that you know This isn't going to be the case but In Courtney supports me and she puts she supports, you know a lot of those Those moments where I do have to kind of remove things that I I can see patterns kind of as a result of You know of these things of these these entertainment Things that they they get into like especially with the electronics and it's a constant battle But I I guess the hard part is just to to keep steering and guiding and directing You know like what my kids are getting exposed to what their habits are like what kind of friends they're around like all these things I'm like, I'm just constantly thinking about how this is going to affect their development and how You know good humans are going to be as a result, you know around other people and so it's not that it's hard It's just that it's it's something that's always top of mind and I'm also very very much like stressed out about everybody's safety well-being, you know being you know trying to provide and whatnot so That that I mean, that's all part of the job, you know, this is all this is what a dad is so I own it Yeah, I tell I you know talk to my mom about that when my kids were really young about that like the worry and stuff I'm like, oh my gosh like I didn't realize how Invulnerable I was before I had no vulnerabilities I thought I did but I really didn't now that I have kids It's like now you really worry and my mom smiles and she's like that never now It'll never end it she goes you think because you're grown up and you have your own family that don't worry about you all the time She's like that'll never go away and I was like, holy shit That's a I think you guys both make really good points because I think a big struggle and I had my kids younger So I kind of went through this I think if you think you're gonna have kids And be and life's gonna be like it was before you're it's gonna suck, right? you have to expect and Accept that things are gonna be very different and then you're gonna be okay because if you're the guy that like You like to go hang out with your buddies and you and your wife or your girlfriend Love to have all these date nights and all this freedom and you think yeah when we have a kid We'll get back to that old stuff before it's you're gonna be at odds with reality because the reality is it's just not and then You're gonna hate life because you're not expect accepting that it's always gonna be different So I remember going through that you know as a younger dad. I think right now There's a lot of things that are tough about being a parent. That's why I think There's nothing that'll make you grow. I don't want to say nothing But there's very few things that'll make you grow as much personally as being a parent because it's so damn anything That's really challenging does that to you and I could list a bunch of stuff. That's really hard You know, it's really hard to like Be human, you know like not be perfect because then you second you if I lose my temper and I'm on my own or I'm with you guys I oh, I lost my temper and acted stupid not a big deal. You do that to your kids You end up thinking about it for weeks, you know, like what do you know? What have I would I say in prints on them? Yeah, like what did I say when I do? Oh my gosh acted like such an asshole. What a terrible example. I am or I heard there You know, what am I doing? That's really hard. The worry is really hard You know, you have to learn how to get over that because I could literally sit here right now You know, let's say your kids are at school and you can think about all the different things that can happen school That's really tough to the worry is really tough. But right now. You know what I'm finding is And in this I you know, I'm sure this was tough for my parents too and their parents It's really tough to do the right thing when the right thing is different than what everybody else in society is saying Is the right thing, you know it to do the opposite of what everybody else says is okay and good It's really really hard because you're battling You're at you're at war with all the other influences that they have and this gets hard as they get older when they're real young It's just you so they don't know any better But as soon as you go to school, they have friends They have their own Experiences and then they start to realize that oh my dad. Oh, we're different is different like right now One of the big struggles is is electronic use this wasn't a problem when I was a kid because it just didn't exist I mean we had TV, but it wasn't that big of a deal We didn't have 24-hour cartoons or 24-hour, you know entertainment And we definitely didn't have the internet and iPhones and all that technology And so I'm you know, I'm over here looking at it and I'm I'm really I see stark difference in my children when they're using a lot of electronics Versus when they're not changes their personality Completely it changes their mood How they engage with other people It's like the processed food of our generation our generation grew up and processed food became a big thing And you know if you lived at a home where your parents were like, no, you can't buy the sugary cereal We're not going to get the sugary cereal. We're not going to have snacks all the time You can't have hot pockets for lunch You're the weird kid because everybody else says it's okay. Yeah, and so you have to be different Well, now I'm the guy that's like if you want to use electronics, you need to ask me so I can monitor it Well, I got a 15 year old kid, you know, he's got to ask his dad every time he uses electronics You know, and he's telling me, you know, my friends can be on all the time. Why am I being indifferent? This is a challenge as a parent, you know, or or you know, you have entertainment media telling your kids that They glorify sex for example nothing nothing wrong with sex But media makes you believe that it's everything Makes you believe that real connection without it isn't as valuable So then you're gonna have to counter that too Or counter process food. I'm a you know, health and fitness person. Well, you know, these shitty foods are all over the place So now at my house with me, I'm the guy that's different, you know, or we value things that are different than what Seems to be advertised out there. That's really fucking challenging because you don't want to feel like the The jerk and then you do what you also here's the other side of it I don't want this to happen. I don't want my kids to go off on their own. Oh now. I'm not under dad's control Finally, I get to go in the opposite direction. You know what I mean and rebel and maybe that balance Maybe they'll maybe they'll end up doing that. I don't know that's the hard thing It's when we're raising your kids The right way is different than what everybody else seems to be doing Well, and also, you know, realizing that Like they're not you, you know, like like like really really understanding that this is a different human being that has different ideas Different like because you you totally like portray your own ideas and like well, I wouldn't have done that, you know that That way and this and and so that's something that I've I've had to struggle with and realize and pull myself out and be like these are completely Different humans of me even though they came, you know from the part of me They're completely different dude if you Here's the big one, right? If you don't raise your kids somebody else will and and that just may be Society it might be group of friends. It might be the internet. It might be media. It might be their friends You know, you look at some of these sites that like, you know, I have a teenage boy And teenage boys, there's certain sites that they like to go on You and I'll go on and I'll read these forums and you can see there's a lot of cynicism This is what tends to tends to happen with teenage boys to get cynical They make jokes about a lot of stuff everything stupid or whatever And if I'm not opposing that that'll raise my kid So that's a big ass challenge and as a dad you have to be very involved because I'll use a fitness analogy. We talk about movement patterns all the time If you do correctional exercise one hour a week, but then the the rest of the week You're moving terrible. Which one's gonna win? Yeah, you know Well, if your kid is being raised by you a little bit and everybody else and everything else is raising them all the time You're you're gonna lose you're gonna lose the battle. So I for me. That's the hardest thing about being a father