 Hi guys, welcome back to my channel. Today's video is going to be an adoption video I know most of you guys love my adoption videos. Don't worry a video with my mom is coming in the near future She's going to be talking about how she told me basically I was adopted in that whole process But in today's video, I'm going to be sharing with you what it's like telling other people I'm adopted which can be awkward sometimes, but overall I've just gotten used to all sorts of different responses and I want to apologize for the lighting. I use natural lighting I don't have a lighting setup. I want to say I'm sorry for that to keep this video a little bit more organized I wrote everything down and there are just points that I'm gonna run through So if you guys enjoy my adoption videos, make sure to give this one a thumbs up So the first point I want to make sometimes I don't tell people I'm adopted If it doesn't come up in conversation and I don't feel like it'll benefit anything or enhance the relationship or anything I just don't tell someone because it's my business and I don't need to but most of the time I always do tell people I'm adopted because I'm not like ashamed of it or scared And if you're adopted, don't feel obligated that you have to say to someone that you are adopted Because it doesn't really matter. If you don't feel comfortable, don't share it If I'm going to have someone in my life for a longer period of time, say a manager, a co-worker I don't know, someone that is going to be in my life of maybe a future friend or a boyfriend or anything like that Then clearly I'm going to share that I'm adopted Sometimes it just comes up in conversation Like clearly I wouldn't tell the grocery store clerk that I am adopted Maybe if they see me and one of my moms with me Then it's kind of you can put two and two together And they'll recognize that I am adopted just because it's kind of blatantly obvious When I do share that I'm adopted, I just come out and say, oh yeah, by the way, I'm adopted And I always add in typically that I have two moms So just in case if that person is going to be like, ew, I don't like that, I don't agree with that That's lame or you're going to end up corrupted or something like that Then they can automatically leave my life and I don't really need them in my life I just like cutting it cold turkey like that, I just like saying it out loud I don't know how you would even tiptoe around the fact that you're adopted unless you use the term my biological mother Or I guess you could say it in a certain way that you are adopted without just saying like, hey, I'm adopted But for me, I don't know how I would go about that nor have I ever done that I honestly just say like, hey, I'm Alex, I was adopted from China and I have two gay moms They're gay, but I'm not Just because there's some people out there that think that if gay people raise you, they will turn someone gay That is not the case at all I can honestly say being gay is not a choice In the age my parents grew up, they probably wouldn't choose to get discriminated against Because remember, they're a little bit older So back in the day, it was not really acceptable to be gay or to embrace your sexuality Sometimes people will ask me, do you want to meet your real parents? And that's a very not touchy subject, but the wording that they use is incorrect It's biological parents because your parents are the people that raise you, that take care of you, that provide for you, that teach you things And the people that donated the egg in the sperm to create me are not my parents, they are my biological parents So going back to science, the egg in the sperm, they're the people that created my physical being But they're not the people that sculpted me and everything like that If you get my drift, a lot of the times people will ask me, do you want to meet your birth parents? Do you want to find your real parents or what do your real parents look like? And that's always a conversation I always have to have and correct people Honestly, as an adoptee person, I don't know if anyone can relate, but it's really annoying I'm not trying to like lash out at anyone, it's totally fine if you say, oh, well I want my real kids, I want my own kids from my body It's just kind of difficult, especially as an adopted person to correct people And it gets kind of annoying, but you have to look at it from the other side of it, they don't understand They don't see it any other way just because they can't relate and that's totally fine Because there's a lot of situations in life that I can't relate to And I probably use the wrong terms and everything But if you're watching this and if you are not adopted, then saying to an adopted person like, oh, do you want to meet your real parents? It's not the right terminology, it's not very respectful If you want to say something about their physical appearance or anything like that Go the route of biological parents rather than saying real parents It's just a little tangent, but I always get that question Like, do you want to find your birth parents? And typically my answer is yes, just because I want to see what they look like I want to see who I look like personally But other than that, I don't really care to have a big relationship with them Because going back to relatability, I probably don't really relate on a lot of levels to them Because I have a different culture, I've grown up in a different place I don't speak their language, it would be very hard to communicate So I don't have a dreaming desire to meet them for any emotional something that might be missing from my life But I would like to see at least a picture of them to see who I might look like And that might sound superficial, but that's my honest truth and my opinion about it After I come out and I share that I'm adopted and we have this little spiel about real parents versus biological parents Sometimes they will say, oh, my cousin's adopted or my mom's adopted or my brother's adopted It actually starts a conversation, which is really cool Or they'll say, oh, my dad found his biological family or my friend found her biological mother It's really cool because it's a conversation starter So if you are nervous about telling someone, always think it could be a really good conversation starter And you can actually get closer to the individual you're speaking with Because you are bringing up a new topic and sharing more about yourself Because they might actually know someone or know of someone that has had experience in the adoption world And then pretty much the conversation ends or like I said before, the conversation develops into something new And you learn more about that person or someone that person knows Now going on to saying I want to have my own kids So when you're saying I want to have my own kids because I want to have my own kids As some of you might put it that way I would like to say the correct version coming from an adopted person Would definitely be I want to bear my own children Meaning I want to carry them in my womb and reproduce from my body Because when you adopt, as we all know from the Stoffer situation When you adopt that kid is yours, like you are having your own child, right? Terminology can be really twisted and again it's because people don't understand When someone says I want to have my own kids and I want to adopt Well, what is that saying about the adopted child? Some adopted children can take that really personally I personally don't, it's a little tough just because it's hard to communicate the proper terminology to someone But I don't take it personally because I know their meaning I know that they're not trying to be haters or anything like that They're just uninformed and when someone's uninformed you can't be mad at them for not knowing When you say you want to have your own children, you can From your body and from someone else's body, they can still be your own children Now you can say I want to bear my own children and then I want to adopt Because that is a different sort of way you can put something in a term That might be a little bit more gentle to people that are in the adoption community If you guys have any more terminology that can inform others about adoption in the adoption world and the adoption community Please leave them in the comments down below because I think it's a really good conversation And it'll open up a lot of different conversations for people who might not know There's all different sorts of communities that I'm sure have different terminology that I use improperly But once I learn about certain terminology to use, then I will use it So for example, the transgender fluid community, I believe Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that they prefer pronouns such as they or them rather than he or she Which I completely understand, so it's just like in the adoption community saying Your real parents versus biological parents saying I want my own children versus saying I want to bear my own children or adopt So those are just things we can talk about, think about and everything like that I hope you guys enjoyed this video Again, leave any thoughts you may have in the comments down below and give this video a thumbs up Don't forget to subscribe and I'll see you guys in my next video Bye