 J-E-L-L-O! The Jell-O program, starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens a program with Let's Be Buddies. When the makers of Jell-O introduced this famous gelatin dessert a good many years ago, they made a permanent contribution to the American dinner table. And now they've added another standard item to the national menu in those delicious new Jell-O puddings. Jell-O puddings are ready-prepared puddings that take far less time to make them than the old-fashioned pudding, which required five or six different ingredients and took half an hour or so to prepare. With Jell-O puddings, all you have to do is add milk and bring to a boil. In about five minutes, you pour it into sherbet glasses and set it aside to cool. And there, almost before you know it, you've made the family a swell pudding that tastes truly homemade, a smooth, creamy pudding, as attractive as can be, and simply delicious. Jell-O puddings come in the three grand old pudding favors of chocolate, vanilla, and butterscotch. And they're made by the makers of Jell-O, so you know they're good. After this, when you buy Jell-O, buy Jell-O puddings, too, and enjoy their rich mellow goodness. Take it from me, friends. There's a treat you'll soon repeat by the orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, as you all know, last Thursday evening was Halloween, and Jack celebrated by throwing his annual costume party for the Jell-O gang. So this evening, we will turn back the clock, the time last Thursday night. The place, Jack's home in Beverly Hills. Take it away. I'll never smile again, hidey hidey ho. Rochester. I'll never smile again till I get more done. Rochester, that's a beautiful song. You don't have to change the lyrics. Well, I'm trying to get a message across. Oh, you are. Well, you don't have to put it to music and make an opera out of it. If you want to raise, just come right out and ask me. I'll never smile again. Now, cut that out and stop complaining. I'm giving a costume party tonight, and I'm not even dressed yet. Here, help me pull my shirt off. OK. There. Now, hand me that grass skirt. Oh, boy. Rochester, hand me that grass skirt. Tonight, I'm going to be a hula girl. Yes. With your rheumatism? Never mind my rheumatism. I bought this outfit when I was in Honolulu, and I'm going to wear it. Now, pin that gardenia in my hair. Yes, sir. Well, what's the matter? Can't find anything to pin it to. All right, hang it over my ear. There. Say, that's pretty good. Do I look like a hula girl, Rochester? I suppose so. I guess they're coming all shapes and sizes. You can never pay me a compliment, can you? Now, go out and make those popcorn balls like I told you to. Yes, sir. Say, boys, how about the cider? The cider? Do you want me to put a little jolt in it? Leave it alone. There's nothing more refreshing than a glass of sweet cider. Nobody's going to slide down the banister on that. Rochester is going to be a party, not a brawl. Now, go tend to your words. And on your way to the kitchen, answer the door. It's in the opposite direction. I don't care, answer it. What do you want me to do, rebuild my house? My goodness. Grasp Gert a little long, and better pull it up. It's Ms. Limson. Good evening, Ms. Limson. Hello, Rochester. Oh, hello, Mary. What do you think of my costume? Well, I'll be. That's so funny about me being a hula girl. Hula girl? I thought you were a haystack with dandruff. Mary, if I'm a haystack, what am I doing with this gardenia hanging over my ears? All right, you're a sissy. I'm not a sissy. I'm a hula girl, Princess Jacomoku. Now, later on, Mary, when the party gets rolling, I want you to ask me to do a native dance. No kidding. Are you going to dance? Yeah, I learned it in Honolulu last summer. Get a load of this. It's not the island fair that is calling to me. Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum. Wow, how's that? I sure made my hips move, didn't I, Mary? Yeah, now move them back. I'll get them back. Don't worry. Now, Mary, light the candles in those jack-o'-landers. I want to put them in the window. OK. Say, boss. What is it? Ain't you cold running around with nothing on but a grass skirt? No, what makes you think I'm cold? You got so many goose pimples, you look like a horn too. Oh, I'll be all right in a few minutes. No kidding, Jack. You ought to put something around your shoulder. Well, holy smoke. What's the matter? Look at that tattoo on your arm. Grow with Waukegan. Oh, that. I had it done when I was a young fella. You know, I had a couple of snorts of elderberry wine one night, and I felt very civic. Hand me that pumpkin. Here you are. See, I'll bet you were a devil in those days, eh, Jack? Was I. You should have known me then, Mary. I could just see you standing in front of the pool room. The straw had over one eye and a tooth stick in your mouth. Yeah. When a girl was passed by, it yelled, hello, chicken, let's fly the coop. All right, so I used to flirt with the girls. You get one yet, boss. Rochester, I thought I told you to go out in the kitchen and fix those popcorn balls. See who that is. Why don't you put swinging doors in here? Rochester, this is not a saloon. Especially with that cider. Never mind. Answer the door. OK. Never saw anybody as lazy as he is. Say, Mary, I forgot to ask you, how's your cold? You know, we missed you on the program last week. Oh, I'm fine now, Jack. I'll be with you next Sunday. That's good. Ah, ah, ah. Well, look who's here. Hello, Dennis. Hello. Well, look at the kid all dressed up in a Navy uniform. Where'd you get it, Dennis? My girlfriend goes with a sailor. Well, I was very sweet of him. You know, Dennis, I used to be in the service myself. Donut, I wish I could go again. What can a hula girl do in the Navy? Oh, stop. Well, I'm not a hula girl. You could have fooled me. There you are. I look all right, don't I, Dennis? Yeah, but if you're a hula dancer, Mr. Benny, don't you think you ought to take your shoes off? Oh, certainly. Why didn't you tell me, Mary? I can't dance with shoes on. Here, Rochester, help me take them off. OK, hold tight. And incidentally, Mary, you should have worn some kind of a costume yourself. Well, gee, I didn't know what to wear. Oh, you could have thought. Rochester, I said take my shoes off. I'm trying. Well, pull. OK. Mm. There. Now, take the other shoe off. Say, Mary, I got an idea how you can dress. Why don't you go upstairs and put on one of my old suits I used to wear in vaudeville? Where'll I find it? They're in the big trunk in my tank. They're in the big trunk in my bedroom. Gee, it feels kind of good to go barefoot. Look who wants to get in the Navy with those fallen arches. Mary, I've told you a thousand times, my arches are not fallen. Then why do you make a footprint like a wedgie? Because I like to keep up with the style. Now, go upstairs and put on one of my old suits and get in the spirit of things. OK. Rochester, don't stand there holding my shoes. Put them away. Well, the right one's got a lot of those old big $1 bills in it. Stop making things up. There's nothing in that shoe but an insole. Green, ain't it? Put them away. I know exactly how much is in there. Yeah, I wish the gang would get here. Say, Dennis. Yes, please. What are you going to sing on the program Sunday? Well, I don't know, Mr. Benny. I haven't picked anything out yet. Oh. Well, look, Dennis, there's a brand new number out now called Do You Know Why. It's a song that Mary Martin sings to me in my new picture. The one you made with Fred Allen? Shut up. And it'll fit you perfectly. Look, there's a copy of it on the piano. Run over it for me, will you? OK, Mr. Benny. And by the way, Dennis, whenever you refer to that picture in the future, just say the one I made with Mary Martin. Leave Fred Allen out of it. Why? Because if you don't, I'll put my shoe back on and kick a field goal with a certain young tenor. Understand? Yeah, three points. Oh, sing. Giant as gardenia keeps flipping off my ear. Love will stay until the cows come home. And then the cow till Haiti's freezing. And then it's just. Very good, Dennis. That'll sound great on the program. Yeah, I think it'll be swell. What are we keeping filling down? We want to go out tonight and have some fun. See, Mr. Benny, while we're alone, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? No, what is it? Well, how come I only got $0.35 for mowing your lawn last week? The what? I used to get $0.50. Didn't I do a good job? Well, of course, Dennis, but you see, $0.35 is the winter rain. The grass doesn't grow as high in the winter. Oh, that's right. Certainly. I'm sorry I mentioned it. Oh, oh. That's OK. You're not mad, are you? No, no, no. You had a legitimate complaint. No. Don't hesitate to speak up, Dennis, any time. And incidentally, I wish you'd watch those. Oh, Rochester. Yes. There's someone at the door. I'm fixing the fire car. Now, go ahead. Yes, sir. Don't go with all this walking. I might as well be a picket. I never saw anybody that hated doors, so. Mr. Wilson. Hello, Rochester. Hi, Jack, Dennis. Hello, Mr. Wilson. Say, I thought you'd never. What's that supposed to be, Don? A black costume with white lines all over it. Why, don't you get it? No, what are you? I'm a skeleton. Yes, these white lines create the illusion. Oh, well, those chins cancel it. By the way, Don, how do you like my outfit? I was very attractive, Jack. But aren't you afraid of catching cold? No, I'm all right. Here I am, fellas. How do I look? Well, Mary, what are you supposed to be? A ham. This is one of Jack's old suits from Vaudeville. Yep, I wore that suit in every theater on the Orpheum circuit. Look at those big checks and pearl buttons. It's a little loud, isn't it, Mr. Benny? Well, of course, nobody wears a suit that flashy nowadays. They don't, eh? No. Boys on Central Avenue, we got pole bears. It's just louder than them. I believe you. What a suit. Get a load of these cups on the sleeve. Well, it was all the rage. See, when I used to walk out on the stage in that outfit, I was a sensation. What are those red spots all over the suit, Jack? Those red spots? I don't know. They had a tomato on them, and then Toledo. They took the tomato, and then put the Toledo on them. Now, wait a minute, Mary. That's a fib. When I played Toledo, it was winter time, and tomatoes were out of season. You were so bad, they shipped them in. Listen, Miss Livingston, Toledo is one of my best towns. Why, I used to be a... Open up! Open up in there! Hey, fellas, there's Bill Harris. lately sees me in this hoola costume. Answer the door, Rochester. Here I go again. Answer us. Is my Gardeignan straight, Mary? Yes, yes. Good evening, Mr. Hath. Hello, Ross. Hi, fellas. Hello, Phil. Hi, Mr. Hath. And there's Mary. How's your cold, baby? Oh, a lot better, Phil. That's swell. Hm, hm. Say, who's the old dame in the grass skirt? Old dame, this is me. I'm a Hawaiian princess. What are you doing later, toot? Now, cut that out. I wouldn't laugh at anyone else's costume, Phil. What have you made up for in that outfit? Well, I'm Julius Caesar. You know the guy that was nuts about Cleopatra. Julius Caesar? You know, he was the Roman Empire. That's emperor. What a dodo. Phil, empire is what Caesar rules. Jack, that's empire. Don, a skeleton should be seen and not heard. Phil, I gather that you're studying ancient history now. You know, Mary Phil goes to night school. He's trying to broaden his mind. You ought to clean it up, too. You said it. All right, Mary. All right. You don't have to get derogatory. There he goes with derogatory again. He learns one big word in night school, and he's going to run it right out of the dictionary. Say, Don, are you going to? Hey, fellas, you know who wrote the first American dictionary? No, a Webster. All right, Phil. We know that. Jack, I'm getting hungry. When are we going to eat? Pretty soon now. All right, Rochester, let's get things rolling around here. Let's serve the refreshment. OK. Will you have a glass of sweet cider, Miss Limston? Yes, thank you. Mr. Dave, Mr. Wilson? Thanks. Thanks, Rochester. How about you, Mr. Heads? Will you have a glass of sweet cider? Absolutely not. I would have bet on that. Rochester, no comment. Now, pass that lovely tray of hors d'oeuvres. The what? The hors d'oeuvres. You mean them little things you eat and eat and you ain't ate nothing? Yes, just pass the tray. How's the cider, Dennis? Boy, what an imagination. One more drink and you'll go out and get tattooed. Yeah. Now, Dennis, get up off the floor and uncross your eyes. Showing off on sweet cider yet. Pass the olives, will you, Phil? Here you are. Gee, you look cute in that outfit, Mary. Where'd you get the suit? This is the one Jack used to wear in Vaudeville. Yes, sir. I wore that suit in every theater in the country. Hey, Jack, look what I found in the pocket. An old program. No kidding. Yeah, from the Globe Theater, Kansas City, Moe. Oh, yeah. Who was Moe? The manager, wise guy. Who was Moe? The Globe Theater, eh? You were the headliner, weren't you, Jack? I sure was. Who was on the bill that week, Mary? Here it is. Swains, cats and rats. St. Mules. Powers, elephants. Uh-huh. Finnegan's fleas and Jack Benny. Oh, yes, I never will forget that week. I felt like Frank Buck. Well, let's have something to eat. Then we can go out later and have some fun. Yeah, I want to ring doorbells right like the Dickens. Don, control yourself. Oh, Rochester. Yes, boss? Did you invite Mr. Billings-Lee, our boarder, to come down and join the party? You shouldn't have let him come down here, boss. I think he's cuckoo. Oh, you always think that. What's he done now? Remember that coiler rope he brought up to his room the other day? A coiler rope? Yes. Well, he's sitting on the floor playing a flute to it. Why didn't you take the rope away from him? I tried you and it hit that man. Oh, stop dreaming things up. And ask Mr. Billings-Lee to come down here. Hey, Jack, look what else I found in your coat. What? It's a letter from an old girl of yours. An old girl? Yes, it's signed Loopy. Oh, Loopy Herman. Oh, yeah, from Upper Sandusky. Gee whiz, it's written way back in 1911. Yeah, oh boy, she was pretty. What did she say, Mary? Now, Mary, don't you dare read that letter. No. My own sweet Jack. Mary. Oh, be a sport, Jackson. Let her alone. Oh. My own sweet Jack. I have written that ribbon, but so far I have not received an answer. When am I going to hear from you? What? You, the dame's a literate. Oh, fine, one week at night school and he's a critic. Get this, fellas. Now, Mary. I'll never forget the first time we met in front of the cameo theater. Our meeting was very romantic. Although I like to died when you whistled at me and yelled, hello, chicken, let's fly the coup. Give me that letter. Pop is afraid for me to marry you because he does not like actors. But if you still want me, I'm the apple in your light like what you said. Girls were silly in those days. Now, give me that letter. P.S., I forgot to tell you, a horse ran away with me last Tuesday. I wished it was used. Mary, give me that letter or tear it up. Why, Jackson, I can't understand you going out with a dame that ignorant. Bill, you were spelling Harris with one R up to last week. You're never right. Now, wait a minute, Jack. Phil may not be so hot in English or history, but he's not so dumb. Oh, yeah? You just don't understand him, that's all. I don't understand him. No. Add a girl, Mary. Come here, Phil. I want to tell you something. What is it, kid? Well, listen to this. You know, Phil, I'm critical and analytical where you're concerned. I've learned just what you're all about. You mean, Mary, that you think you really got me figured out? I think so. You're kind of slow at working on puzzles or tricks. But when it comes to love, you can't go on quits. But look, Mary, I'm only wasting time at bridge. I don't seem to click. But when it comes to love, you can't go on quits. Well, there's a lot of other things I know. I'm kind of dark. Yeah. Where's Alaska? Alaska's right up above. When is Christmas? Christmas is the 20th. Who was Lincoln? Oh, I'll bet you I'm wrong, whatever I'm thinking. You're not a wizard, any quiz. Your mind just won't tick. But when it comes to love, you catch on quick. Well, ask me something else. Go ahead, now ask me something. You don't know what it's all about when you wave that stick. Well, it's thick. But when it comes to love, I catch on quick. And even though you have a band, you can't play a lick. Maybe not, honey. But when it comes to smooching, I catch on quick. Ask me something about music. All right, Bill. Anything. What's the downbeat? A downbeat is when you bring up that little round thing. What's the balance? I'll bet you it's something that comes with the salad. You couldn't find your way around with shovel or pen. But when it comes to love, we catch on quick. Hey, that's cute. You know, hey, Don, come here a minute. I've got something I want to tell you. What is it, Jack? Listen, you're kind of slow at playing golf with spoon or nip lick. But when it comes to food, you catch on quick. Yeah. I'm not so good at outdoor sports. I don't seem to click. But when it comes to food, I catch on quick. Yes, you do, Don. Hey, listen. What's strawberry? Delish. What's raspberry? Cottage. What is jello? It's easy to make, boy, and it tastes well old. You're not a whiz at any quiz. Your mind just won't tick. But when it comes to food, I catch on quick. And he means jello. Hey, that was great. We ought to sing that Sunday, Don. Make a note of it, will you, Mary? Let me do it. I'm practicing writing. All right, Phil. All right. You can do it. Mr. Billingsley. Good evening. Good evening, Mr. Benny. Entertaining your friends, I see. Yes. Yes. Won't you join us? No, thank you. I was just going out. That's too bad. Say, that's quite an outfit you're wearing. Yes. I'm Napoleon. Well, there's nothing like dressing up on Halloween. Oh, is this Halloween? Goodbye. I wish he wouldn't drag that halibut across my rug. Hey, fellas. Fellow, what do we do now? Fit for our drink Dorbell. Okay. If I hear another Dorbell, I'll scream. Too bad about you. Come on, fellas, let's go. Now, wait a minute. Mary wants me to do my hula dance, don't you, Mary? Yeah, I can hardly wait. Hey, Don, get a load of this. I learned it in Honolulu. Say, Rochester, get your guitar. Here it is on the piano. I want a little hula music for atmosphere. Do you know a little brown girl? Millions of them. I mean the song. Now, come on. Oh, Jack, you're not going to dance with that cigar in your mouth. Joe Frisco does. Come on, Rochester. One, two. It's not the island fair. That is calling to me. Da-dum-da-dum-dum-dum. Da-dum-da-dum-dum. Da-dum-da-dum-dum. Stop it, boy. Wiggle. Da-dum-dum-dum-dum. Oh, Jack. Jack, stop. Da-dum-dum-dum. Stop, you bastard. Oh, my goodness. Look at the smoke. Hey, put me out. Put me out. Well, do something. Oh, my eye. I can't see out of my right eye. I'm blind. That's your gardenia. Pull it out. Oh, yeah. Well, somebody do something. I'm getting hot. Get the water out of the kitchen. I can't wait for that. Open that door. I'm going to dive in the swimming pool. Dang it. Hey, boy. Boy. Have you ever noticed, ladies and gentlemen, that very often when folks sit down to dinner, the first thing they think of as the last part of the meal, what's for dessert is the way they usually phrase it. And the quickest, most satisfactory answer, of course, is jello. For example, there's that grand new jello recipe, raspberry banana dessert, as simple to make as ABC and downright swell. Just make up a package of raspberry jello as you usually do. Chill until slightly thickened and fold in one banana slice. Then mold and serve plain or with whipped cream. You'll say it's one of the finest desserts you ever tasted. You really will. For raspberry jello, like strawberry jello, now has a new improved flavor obtained by using a natural flavor base artificially enhanced, which gives raspberry jello its distinctive goodness. Enjoy it tomorrow in jello's new raspberry banana dessert, the tempting combination of creamy sliced bananas and rich crimson raspberry jello. Well, folks, that's what happened at my house on Halloween night. And now, ladies and gentlemen, for this week's program, we bring you that flat-headed comedian, Jack Benny. It's too late now, Don. Good night, folks. J.D. L.L. Paul. The right to vote is your priceless heritage as an American citizen. Be sure to go to the polls and cast your ballot on National Election Day, Tuesday, November 5th. News for thrifty housewives. Log cabin syrup for less money. Popular table size, not more than 18 cents in most stores. Ask your grocer about his new low price. Remember, same luscious log cabin syrup. Same high quality, same mellow flavor. Only the price has changed. Tomorrow, buy log cabin syrup at the new low price. The lowest in history.